At new year, many of us make resolutions to break or create habits, only to relapse back into our existing behaviour. In this 'how to' guide, Arlo Laibowitz explains how to change this cycle, so you can avoid falling back into bad habits and focus on maintaining those good ones. 

Quitting smoking. Keeping a gratitude journal. Developing a mindfulness practice. Whether we want to break habits, or create new ones, the process can be complicated. Most of us have made resolutions to break or create habits, only to fall back into old patterns.

So, how do we change this cycle? How do habits work? And what are the elements needed to break and create habits? Popular believe has it that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. However, a study from University College London has shown that it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days, depending on the complexity of the habit.

Learn how to create habits... and break destructive ones


How are habits formed exactly? 

Habits are formed by the 'habit loop'. The habit loop consists of:

  • The Reminder (the trigger of the behavior).
  • The Routine (the behaviour itself).
  • The Reward (the benefit of the behaviour). 


To develop a good habit, do the following:

  • Identify the routine around the habit. Isolate the cue or reminder that triggers the behaviour.
  • Create behaviour chains and choose a (new) reminder. Create two lists; things you do every day, and things that happen to you each day. These lists will show you where and how to insert a new habit, in an “if-then” plan.
  • Eliminate excessive options. Identify aspects of your life that you consider not that important, and then routinise those aspects, so that you have mental energy left to work on your habits.
  • Choose a habit that is easy to start with. Big changes in life happen as a product of daily habits, usually not the other way around.
  • Experiment with rewards. Create success and positive feedback loops when accomplishing your growing habit for that day.
  • Make micro quotas and macro goals. Balance your desire to dream big goals with your day-to-day activities and possible quotas to get to your goals.
  • When monitoring your habit, consider using tracking apps, or using a simple “yes-no-chart” that tracks how many days you have engaged in the habit.
  • Make a solid plan on how to break or create the habit and how to monitor it. Process plan: visualise the process instead of the outcome.
  • Eliminate the “What the Hell Effect” or “ah-screw-its”. Find where things are susceptible to break down, and consider including an if-then-plan to mitigate these moments.

Studies have shown that certain habits, like making your bed, exercising, or keeping a journal, can keystone other habits. Recognize a keystone habit that works for you, and use it to develop other habits.

How to avoid falling back into old habits -
Track and monitor your habits to see if you're sticking to them – or not!


How to avoid falling back into old habits

To avoid falling back into our bad habits, or not succeeding in creating new ones, it's essential to recognise and counteract loopholes, like false choice loopholes, tomorrow loopholes, this-doesn’t count loopholes, fake self-actualisation loopholes, or one-time loopholes. Recognise these kinds of loopholes and counter them with if-then plans to strengthen your automaticity. Ultimately, breaking or creating habits help us in living the life we want to live.

As author Gretchen Rubin put it, habits are “the invisible architecture of every life and a significant element of happiness.” Whether it's gratitude, mindfulness, connection, forgiveness, compassion, or any other happiness practice you seek to work on, the key is to form and sustain good habits. So, why not start with one today? 


Written by Arlo Laibowitz

arlo.jpgArlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.



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