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Die Psychologin Beth Kurland erklärt, wie man emotionalen Herausforderungen mit Achtsamkeit, Akzeptanz und Selbstmitgefühl begegnet. Mit freundlicher Genehmigung des Greater Good Science Center. Der Artikel erschien im Original in der englischen Ausgabe des happiness Magazins. Als ich 15 war, starb meine Mutter bei einem Autounfall. Da ich nicht wusste, wie ich mit dem enormen Verlust und der Trauer umgehen sollte, stürzte ich mich in Hausaufgaben und andere Aktivitäten, verpasste nicht einen Schultag und versuchte, alles in meinem Leben zu kontrollieren. Diese Strategie war in gewisser Hinsicht erfolgreich - ich bekam beispielsweise gute Noten. Aber einen Preis, den ich zahlen musste, um auf diese Weise meine Trauer zu vertreiben, gab es auch. Ich wurde ängstlich gegenüber allen Dingen, die ich nicht kontrollieren konnte, wie unerwarteten Planänderungen und kleineren Verletzungen. Und als ich älter wurde, begann ich damit, mir irrational Sorgen zu machen. Beispielsweise hatte ich Angst, mein Baby in der Gebärmutter giftigen Dämpfen auszusetzen, wenn ich an einem ungewöhnlichen Geruch vorbeiging. Erst als mein erstes Kind geboren wurde, konnte ich mit Hilfe eines Therapeuten den Verlust meiner Mutter voll und ganz betrauern und all die Emotionen spüren, die ich so viele Jahre abgewehrt hatte. Das Unangenehme annehmen Wie ich in meinem neuen Buch "Dancing on the Tightrope" schreibe, ist der Wunsch, das Unangenehme zu vermeiden (und das Angenehme zu suchen), Teil der menschlichen Natur. Das Vermeiden von unangenehmen Emotionen - anstatt sie zu akzeptieren - erhöht jedoch nur unsere psychische Belastung, Inflexibilität, Angst und Depression und mindert unser Wohlbefinden. Annehmen lernen: Depressionen und Ängste anzunehmen ist der erste Schritt vorwärts Untersuchungen legen nahe, dass wir weniger in Abhängigkeit geraten, wenn wir uns unserem Verlangen zuwenden. Indem wir uns unseren körperlichen Schmerzen zuwenden, ist es weniger wahrscheinlich, dass wir in Kreisläufen chronischer Schmerzen gefangen werden. Wenn wir uns unserer Traurigkeit zuwenden, ist es weniger wahrscheinlich, dass wir in eine Depression fallen. Und wenn wir uns unserer Angst zuwenden, ist es weniger wahrscheinlich, dass wir von ihr gelähmt werden und können sie leichter ertragen. Als ich lernte, meine dunklen Emotionen anzunehmen, brachte dies nicht nur eine deutliche Verringerung meiner Angst mit sich. Auch die Fähigkeit, die Freuden des Lebens besser wahrzunehmen und das wachsende Vertrauen in meine Fähigkeiten verbesserte sich. Ich konnte die Herausforderungen des Lebens besser meistern. Als Therapeutin konnte ich auch bei meinen Patienten einen stark verbesserten Heilungsverlauf sehen, sobald sie gelernt hatten, ihre schwierigen Emotionen anzunehmen. Untersuchungen legen nahe, dass wenn wir uns unserer Traurigkeit zuwenden, es weniger wahrscheinlich ist, in eine Depression zu fallen. Und wenn wir uns unserer Angst zuwenden, ist es weniger wahrscheinlich, dass wir von ihr gelähmt werden.“ Wenn wir vollkommener leben und unser authentischstes Selbst sein wollen, müssen wir uns unserem Schmerz zuwenden und nicht versuchen, ihn zu unterdrücken. Aber was kann uns helfen, dorthin zu gelangen? Die Werkzeuge der achtsamen Aufmerksamkeit, des Selbstmitgefühls und der Akzeptanz - die alle in einer Praxis zusammenkommen, die ich "Die Tür" nenne. Um diese Übung selber anzuwenden, stelle sicher, dass du mit nicht zu intensiven Gefühlen beginnst. Vielleicht möchtest du auch mit einem erfahrenen Therapeuten zusammenarbeiten, besonders bei sehr intensiven Emotionen. Hier ist, was „Die Tür“ ausmacht: Schritt 1: Entwickle eine Bereitschaft, die Türe zu öffnen Stelle dir vor, du öffnest die Tür und heißt deine Gefühle willkommen, hereinzukommen und irgendwo im Raum Platz zu nehmen. Du kannst dir diesen Sitzplatz so nah oder so weit entfernt von dir vorstellen, wie du willst. Aus dieser Perspektive kannst du einen vorsichtigen und neugierigen Blick auf das werfen, was da ist. Oft stellen sich die Leute ihre Emotionen in einer Farbe, Form oder Gestalt vor. Manchmal stellen sie sich ihre Gefühle als Comicfiguren oder als jüngere Ausgaben ihrer selbst vor. Ein Teil der Praxis besteht darin, einfach zu akzeptieren, was auch immer erscheint. Dies ist für die meisten Menschen eine neue Erfahrung. Wer möchte schon Angst durch die Tür lassen? Wer möchte Trauer oder Wut hereinbitten? Aber wenn wir uns darauf einlassen, was auch immer erscheint, und es aus einiger Entfernung sehen, können wir einen neugierigen Blick darauf werfen und erkunden, was es ist. Schritt 2: Wirf einen neugierigen Blick auf alles, was durch die Tür kommt Aufmerksames Beobachten dessen, was wir fühlen, kann uns helfen, mit dem Fertig zu werden, was vor uns liegt. Es kann nützlich sein, unsere Gefühle zu benennen (oh, das ist Verletzung, das ist Eifersucht, das ist Wut), weil wir, so einfach das klingt, oft nicht auf die Nuancen unserer Gefühle achten. Infolgedessen gehen wichtige Informationen auf dem Weg verloren. Unsere belastenden Emotionen zu benennen, gibt uns zum einen die Möglichkeit, unsere innere Erfahrung zu validieren, und hat zudem den Vorteil, dass wir ihre Intensität verringern. „Wer möchte schon Trauer oder Wut hereinbitten? Aber wenn wir einlassen, was auch immer ankommt, können wir einen neugierigen Blick darauf werfen und erkunden, was da ist." Es kann auch von Vorteil sein, unsere emotionalen „Besucher“ als temporäre Gäste zu sehen. Das Hinzufügen des Ausdrucks "in diesem Moment" zu einer Aussage wie "Ich fühle Stress, Wut oder Schmerz", hilft uns. Es kann uns helfen, mit dem, was da ist, klar zu kommen, ohne uns überfordert zu fühlen. Andere Dinge, die du zu dir selbst sagen kannst, sind: Kann ich mir erlauben,, zu merken, wie sich dies in meinem Körper und in meinen Gedanken zeigt? Wenn dieses Gefühl oder ein Teil von mir sprechen könnte, was könnte es sagen? Was könnte es wollen oder brauchen? Eher neugierig als ängstlich oder ablehnend zu sein, bietet einen bessere Blick auf deine Gefühle, um diese besser zu verstehen. Schritt 3: Schenke dir selbst Mitgefühl Viele von uns verdrängen unangenehme Gefühle nicht nur, sondern wurden auch dazu konditioniert, unsere Emotionen auf negative Weise zu beurteilen. Wir haben gelernt, dass, wenn wir Traurigkeit zeigen, dies ein Zeichen von Schwäche ist. Dass wir ein schlechter Mensch sind, wenn wir Wut oder Eifersucht empfinden; dass wir „weitermachen“ sollten, wenn wir Verluste erleben. Wenn wir mit schwierigen Emotionen konfrontiert werden, sagen wir uns oft, dass wir aufhören sollen, albern zu sein, oder dass etwas mit uns nicht stimmt. Selbstfürsorge: Stell dir vor, ein/e liebevoll-sorgende/r Freund/in sitzt bei dir Wenn wir Achtsamkeit in Kombination mit Selbstliebe und der Anerkennung unserer gemeinsamen Menschlichkeit (der Tatsache, dass wir alle als Menschen leiden) üben, pflegen wir Mitgefühl für uns selbst. Eine Eigenschaft, die mit psychologischen Wohlbefinden verbunden ist. Um Mitgefühl für dich selbst zu üben, stelle dir vor, du sitzt mit einer/m guten Freund/in zusammen, der/die leidet, und überlege, wie du eine Geste des Mitgefühls zeigen kannst. Wie würde deine Körpersprache sein? Wie könntest du zuhören? Welche Empfindungen würdest du um dein Herz fühlen? Stelle dir nun eine Person vor, die Mitgefühl für dich empfindet. Was würde sie sagen oder tun? Welche Worte würdest du als tröstlich oder beruhigend empfinden? „Wenn wir Achtsamkeit in Kombination mit Selbstliebe und der Anerkennung unserer gemeinsamen Menschlichkeit (der Tatsache, dass wir alle als Menschen leiden) üben, pflegen wir Mitgefühl für uns selbst.“ Die Chancen stehen gut, dass du nicht aufgefordert wirst, dich zusammenzureißen, oder dass du nicht so fühlen solltest. Die Person könnte sagen:„Das hört sich wirklich schwer an. Ich bin für dich da." Oder sie streckt einfach ihre Hand aus. Wenn wir lernen können, achtsam mit unseren eigenen Gefühlen umzugehen und Mitgefühl für das zu entwickeln, was wir erleben, ist es, als wären wir dieser fürsorgliche Freund, der mit uns selbst sitzt. Zu lernen, sowohl in den positiven als auch schmerzhaften Momenten für uns selbst da zu sein, kann eine enorme Heilung sein. Während das Umarmen unserer dunklen Emotionen Mut und Übung erfordert, erlaubt uns die Tür-Technik, ein Geschenk auf der anderen Seite zu öffnen. "Zu lernen, sowohl in den positiven, als auch in schmerzhaften Momenten für uns selbst da zu sein, kann eine enorme Heilung sein." Jedes Mal, wenn wir üben, mit unseren schwierigen Emotionen umzugehen, bauen wir innere Ressourcen auf. Wir lernen, auf unsere Fähigkeit zu vertrauen, mit unseren Erfahrungen umzugehen. Damit entwickeln wir die Widerstandsfähigkeit, um die Herausforderungen des Lebens zu meistern, und finden Wege, um das zu verfolgen, was wirklich zählt. Jeder von uns hat die Macht, sich dem zu stellen, was schwierig ist, wenn wir nur die Tür öffnen. ● Titelbild: Marc Bruxelle Hast du schon einmal die Türen für deine dunklen Emotionen geöffnet? Wie ging es dir danach? Fühltest du dich leichter oder schwerer? Hatte sich dein Blick auf dich verändert? Diskutiere in den Kommentaren oder im happiness Forum über dein "Tür-Erlebnis"! Geschrieben vom Greater Good Science Center Dieser Artikel erschien ursprünglich bei Greater Good, dem Online-Magazin des Greater Good Science Center an der UC Berkeley. Happiness.com hat die Ehre, es mit freundlicher Genehmigung des Greater Good Science Center erneut zu veröffentlichen. Mehr Informationen unter greatergood.berkeley.edu.

As well as the usual physical and mental benefits, practising yoga can be a useful tool in healing trauma and PTSD. Sienna Saint-Cyr tried out trauma sensitive yoga and Neurogenic Yoga™ and shares her experience. According to Yoga Journal, there are 38 health benefits to having a daily yoga practice. There are the potential physical gains, such as increased flexibility, lymph node drainage, boosted circulation and lowered blood pressure. And then there's the mental aspects of health such as increased focus and the relief of anxiety and depression. Healing trauma through yoga is also something that can be achieved, using the practice of trauma sensitive yoga. The Yoga Journal isn’t alone in its claims. Organizational bodies including the American Osteopathic Association share its views on yoga in relation to physical and mental health. With the benefits of yoga become increasingly clear, it's no surprise that in recent years there has been a massive surge in interest in yoga within Western culture. However, while this 'yoga boom' was a positive step, there are now so many types and styles that it can often be difficult to find one that works well for you. Healing trauma with yoga I have a saying: “Yoga is as personal as underwear.” It either fits us and our needs or it doesn’t. For most folks, exploring various YouTube channels or videos is enough. For others, it's going to gym classes or local yoga studios. But for anyone with trauma, especially if it’s something like PTSD, these methods of exploration become intolerable, if not impossible. For many people, it's difficult to find peace while being constantly worried about the people in the room who might potentially touch them or when it's suddenly becomes too loud. Or when getting too close is anything but relaxing: having a panic attack in the middle of class isn’t the desired effect! With trauma sensitive yoga, you can leave the class without fear Trauma sensitive yoga: what is it? Thankfully, in 2002, a man named David Emerson discovered he could treat trauma using yoga. He reached out to Dr. Bessel van der Kolk about his findings and desire to do more in the field. Together, they created a platform that would later become trauma sensitive yoga (TSY), specifically used to help people with trauma and PTSD. Over the course of several years, Emerson brought in different yoga instructors with varying expertise to assist in the development of the program. The National Institutes of Health even funded their trial. RELATED: Compassion yoga Trauma sensitive yoga is different from other yoga practices in many ways. Depending on the studio, the methods will vary, but usually, the classes are small. And, unlike traditional yoga classes where you might get some serious side eye for leaving mid-session and disturbing the peaceful atmosphere, anyone can quietly come and go as they need during trauma sensitive yoga. There's an understanding when you come to class about the sensitive nature of what's about to happen. “For many people with PTSD, it's difficult to find peace while being constantly worried about the people in the room who might potentially touch them.” The studio I tried, Samdhana-Karana Yoga, was very low pressure. The instructor was also a therapist and had worked with trauma patients before. She also had my therapist’s number and emergency contacts in case of triggering. The prep work that went into the class even before I began was like nothing I’d experienced before. This encouraged me to feel like I was in a safe space. Normally you can just show up at a studio or gym pay the fee and take the class. It's all quite impersonal for someone with trauma, in need of assurance that if something goes wrong, they're still in a safe space. Your body, your practice There's a lot of focus on ‘your body, your practice’. That helps the practitioner remember to honor their needs because it’s ‘their’ practice. Rather than performing traditional yoga poses, trauma sensitive yoga encourages people to move as they need to, with minimal and gentle hands-on guidance. Group gains: use yoga to help heal trauma Attendees are asked to pay attention to contact points, i.e. the point where your back touches the ground, or your feet or hands, how much pressure there is, and so on. There are often no hard yoga moves or poses because the focus is on making it a safe space for those with trauma to heal and experience mindfulness with yoga. There are some great videos on the TSY website that give brief examples of what trauma based yoga looks like. What is Neurogenic Yoga™? Trauma sensitive yoga isn’t the only option for trauma sufferers either. Another is Neurogenic Yoga™. While similar in many ways, Neurogenic Yoga™ stands out because it combines yoga asana and pranayama with the body’s natural, therapeutic shaking response. Why is that last part so important? Peter A. Levine, PhD, the developer of Somatic Experiencing and founder of the Foundation for Human Enrichment, has spent his life researching and treating trauma in patients. Some of his groundbreaking research includes the practice of releasing trauma through the body. “Unlike traditional yoga classes where you might get serious side eye for leaving mid-session, anyone can quietly come and go during trauma sensitive yoga.” In one of his books, In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness, Levine discusses how the body has a natural response to trauma. When our fight or flight responses don’t get to finish their cycle, we enter into so-called 'fawning or freezing', thus creating trauma and storing it within the body. Levine believes that by allowing the body to finish out the cycle of trauma – meaning allowing the body to shake when it needs to until it stops on its own – that we can heal our trauma. His book and research are phenomenal and I highly recommend them to anyone with trauma. So, Neurogenic Yoga™ including shaking into their trauma treatment is fantastic. While trauma sensitive yoga helps, people that have trauma from car accidents, military tours, and violent attacks need a bit more than just the relaxation. They need to be allowed to shake and move the body in a different sort of way to release that trauma physically. How trauma and a wandering mind relate Trauma and PTSD are tiring. The problem with trauma is that the sufferer is rarely present in their body. Pete Walker is another expert, specifically on Complex PTSD, and his studies into the Four F’s – fight, flight, freeze and fawn – explain a lot about why people with PTSD can seldom find relaxation. Rather than experience healthy and balanced responses with the Four F's – because we all have these responses – people with PTSD have two responses that they lean heavily on. So, sufferers can get trapped in constant fight and flight or freeze and fawn. This means we aren’t present in daily life. We’re stuck on the ‘spin’ of PTSD and trauma. And when we’re stuck spinning and unable to be present, we aren’t able to experience joy and happiness. Being present leads to happiness To dig into this a bit further, Science AAAS reported its findings on how being present leads to happiness, while mind wandering leads to unhappiness. This is different from a popular assumption that unhappiness leads to mind wandering. While mood can certainly lead to focusing on the past or future, it's not, in itself, the cause of unhappiness. It’s the focus on past and future, an unhealthy rumination, that leads to the unhappiness. RELATED: Jill Satterfield, a mindful approach to yoga The Science AAAS article wraps with: “In conclusion, a human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. The ability to think about what is not happening is a cognitive achievement that comes at an emotional cost.” Trauma sensitive yoga can assist with pulling the practitioner into the present using gentle and non-threatening ways. For people with trauma, they mostly live in the past or in a place of fear surrounding the future. It's this lack of being present that directly relates to their unhappiness. The beauty of trauma sensitive yoga is that it takes you out of this place of fear. It trains your body to remake past experiences and to release them in a physically productive way. No matter which method you try – trauma sensitive yoga or Neurogenic Yoga™ – taking part in trauma based yoga can make a huge difference to your experience. It can also assist in finding your own breath; a breath that brings peace in with each in-breath and releases tension and stress with every out-breath. Trauma based yoga teaches those who aren’t generally present in their own body, how to do just that. If you are living with trauma or PTSD, then I believe that trauma sensitive yoga can work wonders. It can lead to a life full of joy and happiness through a daily practice of being present and living in the moment. ● Main image: Colorbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Hatha yoga | Yin yoga | Meditation | Mindfulness Written by Sienna Saint-Cyr Sienna Saint-Cyr is an author, advocate, and the founder of SinCyr Publishing. She speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on the importance of having a healthy body image, understanding enthusiastic consent, using sexuality to promote healing, navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships, having trauma, Complex PTSD, and more. Sienna loves sharing her journey of healing and finding happiness with her readers. Along with writing erotica and romance, Sienna speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on such sex-positive topics as a healthy body image, using sexuality to promote healing, and navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships. She writes for several websites. Find out more.

Although Sienna Saint-Cyr tried many types of yoga, she couldn't find her perfect pairing. Then she discovered trauma sensitive yoga and everything clicked into place. Here's her take on this healing practice. After hearing how healing and peaceful yoga can be, I developed a real interest in it. I've spent a lot of time going to different gyms and trying yoga videos I purchased or found on YouTube, but none gave me the peacefulness I was promised. Sure, they stretched my body, but there wasn't the calm afterwards that I desperately desired. It all felt so body-specific. For me, this was a problem, and kept me from fully embracing the healing aspects of having a daily yoga practice. One day I attended a class with a friend while out of town and my entire view on yoga changed. The instructor did a lot more with focusing on proper breath through the movements as opposed to the poses themselves, and I left feeling so euphoric and relaxed. The sensation stuck with me for hours, and as a person with high anxiety and Complex PTSD, this feeling of peace and relaxation was more than welcome. Discovering trauma sensitive yoga I went home and tried to find a class like that in my area, but the price was either too high or I couldn't find what I was looking for. Because of my PTSD, I don’t do well with people touching me or larger classes. So, my therapist suggested I try trauma-sensitive yoga (TSY) — a type of yoga focused on people with mental trauma — created by David Emerson. My therapist sent me to a nearby studio that taught Emerson's methods, then helped me get a scholarship. For the next three months, my world changed for the better. Bend yourself better with trauma-sensitive yoga At first, I thought I’d hate it. But trauma sensitive yoga was different from other types of yoga such as compassion yoga or gratitude yoga. The instructor, Morgan Vanderpool, didn't do fancy poses or show off like other teachers I’d seen. In fact, I learned very few actual yoga poses during the class. It was all about focusing on breath and being present in our bodies. One of the ways she’d keep us present is to tell us to focus on how it feels when our palm touches the floor. Or she’d ask us to be aware of what parts of our body were really feeling the pose, then to breath into that area. I learned quickly that much of the reason I’d hated yoga was because I hadn't been truly present. My mind was wandering constantly, so I never practised properly. “Trauma-sensitive yoga was different from other types of yoga. It was all about focusing on breath and being present in our bodies.” I also felt no pressure to take part in poses that were triggering for me, a problem I’d had in many other classes. Nor did I feel the need to talk to others. The class I attended had a maximum of eight people per session and we were able to leave at any time if we needed to. My trauma sensitive yoga instructor also had experience working in therapy, so she knew how to respond to my triggers. She was warm, always calm and used a quiet voice, and she kept my focus on listening to my body. Respecting my body and listening to it Respecting my body is difficult for me. I was so used to disassociating from it that I often ignored the pain in my body. I even ignored tiredness, hunger, thirst, and desire. My instructor helped me to be present in my body without fear. In fact, my first class with her helped me realize how little I was present in my body or in the moment. Her constant reminder to feel my contact points — hands on floor, feet on floor, butt on floor, pressure in each location — kept me re-engaging when I’d drift. I remember after the first session, lying back on the floor and as I stared up at the ceiling, I felt like I could drift away in that moment. I’d gone into the class full of tension and fear, and in that moment I didn't want to get up. I wanted to stay there and feel all of that release. The feeling was so strong that when I left the studio I called one of my partners because I felt too dizzy to drive! He talked to me about my experience and how I felt after coming through it and all I could do was cry. I had literally released so much that I didn't want to stop. The more I let go of, the lighter I felt. Stretch yourself: trauma sensitive yoga can heal During the session, I let my body do what it needed. I pushed as far as I felt I should, got into positions that my body felt good in, and when I got overwhelmed, I sat in silence until I felt I could rejoin the group. I honoured my body, and in doing so, took my first steps toward respecting my body and healing the trauma that I’d stored there most of my life. The class changed me. Now, I can participate in many types of yoga and feel the benefits in a physical and mentally calming way. I even use the methods when I get triggered or full of stress. I stop, focus on my feet touching the ground, the pressure in my leg muscles, the tension in my back, then I breath it out. The more I've practised this, the more I've come to understand that in order to truly be happy in life, I needed to be present all the time. “I learned very few actual yoga poses during the class. It was all about focusing on breath and being present in our bodies.” Trauma-sensitive yoga started me on my path to finding and creating my own practice. Some days I incorporate gentle dance. Other days I do more meditation than movement. It just depends on the day and what my needs are in that moment. And that’s what being present means. Honouring the moment. Deep stuff: breathe into your bodily tension during trauma-sensitive yoga While I've still had small bouts of depression or moments of stress and anxiety, I now have the tools to release those negative emotions and get back on track with being present. When I'm living in the moment, I'm not stressed. I'm not focused on the tasks that need doing in the following week or the annoying incident that happened last week. I'm focused on the moment. When I'm present, I'm happy. Trauma sensitive yoga helped me achieve this. I can’t recommend it enough, no matter your level of trauma or PTSD. Happiness is achievable regardless of our circumstances when we are in the moment and not allowing ourselves to live elsewhere! ● Images: colourbox.com Written by Sienna Saint-Cyr Sienna Saint-Cyr is an author, advocate, and the founder of SinCyr Publishing. She speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on the importance of having a healthy body image, understanding enthusiastic consent, using sexuality to promote healing, navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships, having Complex PTSD, and more. Sienna loves sharing her journey of healing and finding happiness with her readers. Along with writing erotica and romance, Sienna speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on such sex-positive topics as a healthy body image, using sexuality to promote healing, and navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships. She writes for several websites. Find out more.