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Lizzie

Learning how to say 'no'

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Lizzie
Posted

I read the latest article about uncomfortable truths, and I realized I definitely try to avoid situations where I could possibly create an uncomfortable situation.

 

I find it so hard to say 'no' or possibly create conflict (#aquarius) and I'm a bit of a people pleaser who tends to prioritize the feelings or happiness of others before my own. 

Do you have any advice on how to get better at prioritizing your happiness and saying 'no' (or 'yes'!) even when it might make things uncomfortable? 

huma
Posted

Oh, I need that advice too! Sometimes I don't even tell my friends that something they did or said bothered me and I feel that frustration lives inside of me for days and I try to kill it myself! Definitely not a healthy habit! I really liked the article and since I read it I keep trying to encourage myself to take it as an example.

Tine
Posted

I can very much relate to that, and I struggle with this as well. Though not as much as I used to.

Something that helped me is to be able to respond rather than react. I got better at that due to meditation. Of cause, it doesn't always work, and then I play nice and inside I am boiling, or I keep ruminating for days if not weeks, but all in all I feel like I am more myself.

In my opinion, one of the keywords here is boundaries. And to set healthy boundaries, I need to get to know myself better. What is important to me, what isn't and where and how can I compromise.

Brene Brown is excellent in talking about being brave and vulnerable at the same time because strangely enough, these two go together. This question at first isn't about vulnerability but bravery. In my experience, though it is scary and vulnerable to be brave enough to speak up, go against the expectations, risk not to be liked, expose your feeling and all of that.

Maybe you find as much wisdom and comfort in her talks and books as I did:

She also has a talk on Netflix now: "The call to courage". Highly recommended. I laughed, cried and learned. :-)


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