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Friends: Do you even need them? How do you make new friends?


Calvin77

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On 9/19/2019 at 11:01 AM, Rudolph said:

Hi, I recently published a kindlebook about 9 principles for happy living.
Give it a try and please leave me a review! 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XZBRFL6

 

Thank you for sharing! I'll check it out ☺️

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I have an illness that makes making friends in real life nigh on impossible. I used to be called a 'loner' when I was younger, which always seemed to suggest it was something I chose. Social anxiety chose me and I've always hated being alone. Now it's got impossible due to a neurological illness that reacts to emotion and anxiety by making my muscles stretch like I'm on one of those old torture racks. 

  • 2 weeks later...
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Posted

Interesting subject. I totally love being on my own but equally love meeting and hanging out with new people. But like Bjoern, I don't think I make new friends - I just click with people that then become a friend. 

Some come and go in my life. I guess that some friendships are temporary. Friendships that really matter never fade - even if I've not seen the person  in years. And there's some "friendships" that I look back on and think "what the f*ck was I thinking?!) Some are best left in the past.

Also, different friends seem to play different roles in my life. You know, ones to have a laugh with, others to get practical with ideas, others for that big deep conversation.

 

 

 

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I have a small circle of friends. Mostly people I grew up with. I have several children who keep me busy and I live in an area I'm not from, so making new friends isn't something I make an effort. Being recently separated now and again I think it might be nice to try and make new friends and maybe meet someone. But then I see some severe character flaws in most folks either at work, on the train, or at the gym and I think no way!! I'd rather be alone with my hobbies than deal with all the nonsense. 

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Posted
On 8/4/2019 at 3:24 PM, Dioulde said:

I believe we are using the word ‘Friends” too easily and maybe too often. Therefore, little by little, it has lost its meaning. We say things like: ‘Oh, she is an old friend from school!’ when actually we mean she used to be in our class; ‘Oh, he is a friend from work!’ when we mean he is a colleague; “Oh she is a friend I met in an event!’ when we mean she is an acquaintance and so on… A true friend is someone who is there for you in the good, bad and ugly times! And not just for the good! We have all experienced the ones around us when all is going smoothly in our lives and we have the means to pay for dinners and drinks…and when suddenly life hits you with a struggle, those ‘ones’ disappear in nature like ninjas! I once read somewhere: ‘ If you murder someone, a true friend will be there with you to hide the body…without asking any questions!’ Now don’t go murder anyone to see if that’s true!! But you get the idea! Someone who is there for you, comes rain or shine! And distance should not be the issue, time in between we meet or speak should not be the issue, longevity of the friendship should not be the issue. Because there is this chemistry, this deep understanding, a deep respect for one other, no judgements, no dramas and lots of laughter! For me, this friendship is real. And like a rare diamond, you cannot have too many!

❤️❤️ Exactly... cannot agree more.

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Posted

To me friendships and to make new friends is pretty important.

  • 2 weeks later...
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It has become more difficult for me to make new friends. I think it's mainly because I am less carefree now than when I was younger. My value of life changes and old friends are hard to keep because our values are no longer the same.

Agree with Kolzo that different friends play different roles in life. It just seem difficult to make new BFF like I used to have in school.

Kinda miss that. But also appreciate how I have different perspective to life now. 

Maybe, it's okay to be different from the people I interact with on a daily basis. 

Maybe, once I learn how to truly get along with myself (flaws and all), I'll be better at getting along with different kinda ppl.

 

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On 12/12/2019 at 9:53 PM, EYC said:

It has become more difficult for me to make new friends. I think it's mainly because I am less carefree now than when I was younger. My value of life changes and old friends are hard to keep because our values are no longer the same.

Agree with Kolzo that different friends play different roles in life. It just seem difficult to make new BFF like I used to have in school.

Kinda miss that. But also appreciate how I have different perspective to life now. 

Maybe, it's okay to be different from the people I interact with on a daily basis. 

Maybe, once I learn how to truly get along with myself (flaws and all), I'll be better at getting along with different kinda ppl.

 

It's definitely ok! EVERYONE is different, and that's the beauty of the world we live in. How to make new friends is basically finding common ground with a bunch of completely different people... It's both challenging (at times), and beautiful. But just imagine if we were all the same. We all did the same things, wore the same clothing, ate the same food, had the same issues... What good would that do, really? And how BORING would that be? For me, at least! ? Embrace your uniqueness, and be kind, to yourself first, and always. 🌈

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Posted

I made a friend a few weeks ago. Not the kind of friend you know since childhood obviously, but someone who lives close by, comes over for tea, we go for walks and such, and friendship needs to start somewhere.
I was wondering whether I am at the right bus stop, and I asked the woman next to me. She didn't speak German but made sure I did get the right bus which happened to be the bus she was taking too. We got out at the same stop and had a quick chat about not knowing anyone yet in the area. That's when I showed her our house and invited her over for tea. She took up the offer a few days later.

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