Advice on how to help someone with anxiety

[Lizzie 505]

If someone close to me suffers from anxiety attacks and OCD, how can I best be there for them? What should I do/say and what should I avoid (other than the obvious)? When an anxiety attack comes along, what do I do at that moment? I want to be supportive and give them space if they need, but making sure they know I'm there if they need anything. Also, I definitely don't want to make anything worse by doing or saying something wrong! 

I understand that this is highly individual, but if anyone has any general advice, I'd really appreciate it. 

[Calvin77 829]

Hey Lizzie! That's really nice that you're thinking about your friends with anxiety. As someone that's had plenty of panic attacks in front of friends in the past, I know for them it can be just as scary for them as for me, especially as the symptoms are so physical and are often confused with having a heart attack!

I think the main thing you can do if they are panicking is to sit with them and really help them to focus on their deep breathing (esp if they have never had a panic attack before and not sure what to do). Breathing techniques can help you calm down and get back to normal pretty soon. 

A hug or just a bit of touch may help as well and getting them some water too. Don't be surprised though if a friend runs off during an attack...  the anxiety might make them just need to be alone for a bit - that has happened to me in the past also! 

[Lizzie 505]

Thank you for that advice @Calvin77, that's really helpful :)

[Fondoolio 4]

Hi Lizzie, something to remind them of is that 'this will pass'. Panic attacks can be so consuming that it's tricky to get that perspective when in the midst of one. Wilhelmena.

[xenspirit 112]

I suffer from vehophobia and fear of death as well as generalized anxiety disorder. 

Some things which do not help

• Being told to calm down 
• Being told I am not being rational even if I am not being rational 
• Suggesting I am over reacting 
• Trying to apply logic or reason when I am in a full blown panic
• Condescension
• Being humiliated for what is something beyond my control
• Becoming over focussed on the object of my fear
• Having people shouting or applying stress to me
• Telling me to just buck up or act more like a man

Things that help

• Information which I can find or have control over like myself choosing to read a book about the subject that scares me
• Investigating statistics and risks so that I can be more realistic 
• Cognitive behavioral techniques 
• A music I love
• Spending time with my dog
• Talking about unrelated pleasant things I enjoy
• Breathing techniques Or relaxation 
• Crafts
• Art
• In some cases confronting the fear by pushing myself forward. This doesn't work if it isn't self motivated.

[xenspirit 112]

People in the moment of a panic attack need reassurance and empathy not advice.

[EHStz 4]

i would say that it should start with talking about it with person directly when they are in safe environment and calm. just let them know that you would like to know in advance that you want to find out what they think in which ways they would benefit most from your help when they have panic attacks. [be careful as initial question can be perceived as negative thus advance notice for them to think and probably should be carried over several talks and reviews]. basically they need to decide what they can use as anchor that would help them. various methods can be used as it depends on types, causes and triggers of anxiety and conditions on mental and physical health and one's ability to recognise own thinking style and patterns. external help then would mean for person having panic attack recognise they need to change their thought from ones fuelling panic to ones reducing it. It's tricky with OCD because loop of repetitive fueling thoughts can be very short and tight and hard to manage without medication in more serious cases. 

from perspective of Reality Transurfing, Hermetic Principles, (also NLP) helper should go "with" person they are helping rather than "against" (as @xenspirit put on his list above). Once both on same rhythm helper can lead towards calming down (like turning a tanker around - it must be done slowly). If helper is skillful in managing energies like Reiki then focus should be on beneficial outcome but not on ways to get there.

[Vbnm 2]

Giving some suggestion with solace is useful in the condition . It reduces the grievance and applies an oinment on the wounds of sorrow.
I would like to say to quit anxiety and ponder over the reason of it. Though an anxiety is a form of thinking because it attracts the mind to bad consequence of the deeds, yet thinking is a possitive way to pay attention to the matter.
The More think over the reasons , the more the mind gets peaceful.

[ericafrancis1 1]

I used to be a patient of anxiety and mental sickness. Some times ago someone suggest to do meditation and now I am improving. I took online mindfulness training.