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It all started in Jan'22. I had been having blood in stools since 4 months, I kept on believing it's hemorrhoids until in March'22 I went through colonoscopy to find, I had a polyp in colon and that had been removed. Now terror set in, what if biopsy results said it's cancer, it's all over. My next 3 nights until results were hell. Finally results revealed 2 cm adenomatous polyp with mild dysplasia and no cancer. I was relived but had to undergo repeat colonoscopy in 1 year. My 6 months were ok after that but at 7th month I got constipation and my hypochondiac mind got activated, what if it was cancer, may be doctor didn't remove polyp properly. My last 4 months have been he'll, thinking about it and thinking what's point of living and I am dying. I still have 4-5 months for next colonoscopy and fact is even if its ok, I again will have to undergo may be next in 3 years. So in short, I'm in hell, can't buy car, new shoes etc thinking what's the point, I'm dying. I am popping xanax, Ambien, Remron for sleep but haven't slept well in last 4 months. There have been times where, I haven't slept 10-12 days all together. Churning feeling in stomach, fear of death all times, at times felt suicidal but stopped for my daughter. My 14 yrs associated psychiatrist put me on Luvox, I developed low heart rate 53. He never admits that it's because of Luvox, I had to stop it, my family too seems fed up of me. I have had smile on my face months months back. If only, I could overcome fear of death and living everyday........ Can some one help, I'm in great distress.