Search the Community

Affirming to Tara that she is look strong, confident and perfect when she states " "I find myself now in a state where I can't enjoy all the kind things this new guy is doing to me ..." whilst admirable, is not going to change how Tara feels ... I'm all for being nice BUT you also have to take a stand in this situation and tell him exactly what you just told us. I understand what it's like to be a real victim to being beaten. That's not victim status although can lead to it. It's a cycle. I'm 53 and been through hell with this kind of thing. I was beaten as a child, and went on to become a target for many others and when all else failed I started beating others. I also thought for years to help my daughter and grandson to escape the grips of wife and child beaters and ultimately went on to help setup crisis housing for victims of domestics abuse. The cycle and dynamics at play within this kind of behavior pattern is not something to toy with. I fully hear what your saying Tara and I can't underestimate how laying those boundaries down right now is the best way to go about it. I'm not suggesting this guy is the bad one ... but you would do well to lay those boundaries for yourself. Acknowledge your own feelings here right now and let this guy know. If he is really as nice as he makes out to be then not an issue. In such a case we become more our own problem when holding onto all the stuff that happened to us previously. It took my daughters several tries with the same guy with every episode involving much of the same thing that came before it just like you admit yourself Tara. This is why in my previous post I made sure to include my own vulnerabilities and own my own imperfections because right now your own imperfections with how you really feel can be exploited with all the bubbly talk that does more to make you feel more like someone that needs help when really all you want is to focus on being happy ... being your true self. That's not going to happen if you respond in kind when feeling as you say you do. It's OK to feel as you do (meaning it's understandable) but the only way to move on is to tell others why we feel the way we do. If we hold it in we just keep having a distorted view that leads to an addiction on negative emotion and play the cycle over and over. We also become good play things for others. I can tell you how great you are but means little if your really feeling the way you say. I would much rather cut to the chase and deal with what you and I or anyone else really needs to deal with in these kind of cases. It does not matter how nice this guy is but it does matter how your feeling ... how your really feeling inside regardless of whomever. Dealing with that is a priority and how you deal with that will set the path for what is to follow. When I left all those feeling unresolved (takes a lifetime for many ... myself included) issues unattended and made it about someone else, I just went from one toxic relationship to the other and most of the time is was all me because I just held onto all the unresolved pain. Being nice to others when having to deal with that kind of abusive past -PTSD - or whatever one wants to call it ... is not just about being nice to others. The shame we feel as byproduct or beaten individuals is soul destroying and takes a lot or work to balance. I stand by what I said in my first post above but now sensing more of an issue with how we victims tend to become vulnerable to ourselves in further relations. Hard to explain but feel I have said enough. I am sorry that many of us have had to endure the beatings and chaos that flows as it does. Look inside and love yourself from whatever point you can and work with that. Perhaps your just not ready for another relationship and in some ways is sounds that way to me. Back it off a little but most of all just be honest to yourself as your doing now and also tell this guy how you feel but from your own point of view. We make great targets during this time which is why I'm feeling a little worried for you ... The nice guy routine regardless of genuine or not can really feed the hurt child within in ways that may not be so helpful if we are still damaged. Often I take the stance the many of us can not be fixed, but that is more about others can't fix us, we can only fix ourselves. It also helps to understand that the level or repair need not be as others tell us or whatever self help books portray. We decide the level at which we are more ourselves and that is key to understand. Others can help and the latter is not black and white ... but if we do not take control of what only we can, then the cycle will just keep repeating no matter how many others wish to help. I think I'll back out of this topic now as I've given my best and there is nothing else I can really say that I have not just said. I know about the shame that wells within that keeps us from enjoying life. I also know how the joy and happiness of others can overwhelm us and how we tend to make for good play things for those that love to fix. It's a dynamic that leads to a pattern in ongoing relations and why it works so well in the market place. That's another story but the point is - we got to be honest with ourselves and own the way we feel and choose the path we take. Good luck. Your welcome to PM

Hi Tara ... I have a friend that is Bi Polar. He tends to have a behavior pattern that is to set up situations that often lead into bouts of drama. Rarely does it end well. Now I also have my own labels and would not necessarily just blame his label as many of people without labels can also do the same thing. That said, the passion at which he sets a situation up, and his inability to detach from such calculating, does seem hampered by his instability which can be quite episodic. BOUNDARIES are really important - especially from the start or the start of each new phase. I experience phases with him as after each dramatic session having exhaustively gone through dealing with each of his insecurities, blaming, shaming and various other unresolved psychological issues - He too will often begin with being kind. I have found most people in this category often do. Well it's actually hard to categorize because ego is a complex thing... Subconscious Sabotage: Is what I often tell him he needs to stop doing. And it's often where I start with him when laying down the boundaries. I'm not into cutting people out of my life like chopping the top off a pineapple as that tends to leave a residual hang-up on my end after the fact no matter where I end up. My advice is just to be straight up with the guy and tell him how he is making you feel and to find another way to connect if he wishes the relationship to continue. Like "Hey, just so you know, I get your trying to me nice but the way you constantly keep being overly kind is really starting to bug me. It makes me feel like I am some kind of project that needs fixing, or X,Y & Z - if you don't stop it I'm going to have to distance myself for my own mental health." Say whatever it is that your experiencing and how it's making you feel and that you want it to stop or else X,Y & Z for the benefit of you both. I have chosen to still remain friends - but I pull him up every time he starts setting up a situation I know is not going to end well or anytime he assumes something of me and or others for that matter. Mostly when that assumption is something I know is disabling/disempowering for whom of which he speaks. Always starts off nice then leads into something that is about shaming and blaming. Now whilst my explanation with my friend may differ, he is always overly nice and it too is not something I gel with either. Mostly because of the manipulation that's often woven within it. His bipolar makes if very hard for him but I also have my own issues like most of us do. Boundaries works most of the time and I have to be always on top by constantly making them. This is when most people cut and run and whilst that is OK ... just be careful how you cut the cord for your own sake as much as him. People don't often understand that. Another Key point is My-self. Once a pattern sets and I allow myself to be drawn in, the negative vibes I feel tend to make me more vulnerable (feed his compulsive manner to do as he wills) to the manipulation being played where the toxicity in relationships take the stage. Once I am caught up in it and no longer seeing the imbalance taking place then I just become victim to his drama ... not discounting my own. Whilst I am male and he is male and the friendship is plutonic - just close friends. The behavior is very has many of the dynamics I have had with my wife and children or others that are close to me. The reason I am still close friends with him is because after a lot of work re the boundaries we still both have a lot of good to offer each other and there is a sense of respect. I am one of the very few people in his life that has been able to help him in areas he can not. In return my own compromises to help him be comfortable means I am able to have work on my own issues which as just as disabling for us both and others in my life. Kind of makes me a better person knowing that I have my own issues and it's not just about him. Hard to explain. But biggest advice re relationships in general and with people that tend to make projects out of others that leads to reoccurring patterns is to tell them what is happening and what your prepared to put up with and what you will in turn your willing to give. The latter just an acknowledgment of one's self that keeps it mutually beneficial. It's not healthy if it's only one way or more about pleasing one persons way of being rather than it being mutual. Mutual respect and honestly has to be at the forefront. Niceties can just be a ploy and often is this day and age with people becoming experts in positivity, love and joy. To be sure those aspects are important where a balance is needed but being overly nice is kind of like a flag to something else going on. We are complex beings to be sure. Know what you want out of the relationship, lay down those boundaries as best you can and do it each time before it gets out of hand. If he does not respect and or change what it make you feel those negative thoughts, then I suggest giving yourself some distance in your own way that makes you feel more comfortable. I used boundaries and when that fails, I'll just fade away from that person. I typically leave the door open where eventually they get the message and either stay away themselves or just learn to be more mutual in their dealings with me and I'll often learn new things about myself that can do with a bit of work. Hope some of that is helpful and or makes sense.

I also wanted to add that money is playing huge role in our life but we need to understand that our happiness is not depended on it.

A truth I'd like to share about myself to begin my involvement here is that, in terms of personal growth and spiritual pursuit, I've been a wayward seeker. Years ago, I spent a period of time intensively engaged in activities and disciplines which opened doors to new vistas of discovery and realization, but subsequently I was thrust pretty hard back into a mode of life where almost all my time and energy was devoted to mundane, day-to-day concerns. Now, I am feeling called to return to the happier mode of living that I was once blessed to experience. I am glad to have this opportunity to connect with other like-minded souls choosing a conscious pursuit of their own journeys.

Hello All, I'm looking forward to being a part of a community that is open-minded as well as, contains people who are willing to change from good to great. I really believe that is the true progression of life. And if a person finds themselves stuck at a point in life hopefully they may find their way to somebody who will lead them to a better reality. Trust me I know, change can be a scary word or action but, in a lot of cases it necessary.

Sometimes I used to feel lost in life not really feeling like anything I did mattered or I wasn’t really progressing anywhere. I decided to change my way of thinking and start looking to the future and how I want to build it for my self, I found a guide that helped me along the way see the side of me I wanted to be and help me on my path to achieve great things.

I don't see myself as positive and enjoy having friends in my life that would not be defined as such, however understand your meaning and glad your here. I don't know suedseefrucht, but he just nailed it for me. Thx seudseefrucht.

Fact. There are many people and services that would like us to think we are broken for many selfish reasons. If that's not hard enough, those feelings also be addictive where they can become the only emotions we know. Perhaps better said we cling to our pain because we know nothing else. The good news is it does not have to be that way. We always have a choice and not one of those check boxes either where others make multiple choices and then tell us to pick one. Regarding shame, it’s not our fault the world be that way or it be as you just said. We live in a world that encourages others to cut people out of their lives whom feel ashamed and have low self-esteem because we drag them down. As a result, those kinds of people surround themselves with 'only' things that bring them bliss and joy. They also become addicted clinging to the only emotions they know. They tend to only write about things that make them feel joyful and happy whilst we tend to write about things that make us sad. Rarely do I read articles that are well balanced. Mostly because drugs and drama sells. The happy people only want to hear about happy things, whilst the sad people only want to hear about sad things. Each dynamic makes for popular songs, poems, articles and the like. Movies follow that same pattern although somewhat more deceptive. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, happy, sad, up & down - woohoo - violence - villain & hero with whatever ideals weaved in-between. Such being the way peoples sting of cords are influenced to swing. Alas, we adopt the pattern of thinking that we must either become anyone of those characters in order to fit in or adopt the belief that we are just too broken and in need of a hero to come along and fix us. Your right about others having their own set of problems. Most don't answer because they are memorized by the same spell of which I speak. But that does not take away how it is that many of us feel so disconnected living in a world like that. That shame you talk about is also projected ... again not our fault. That said, it does not have to be a problem if only one or two take a stand and point that *&^% out. Just because the world is so unbalanced and jacked up on all that does not mean we have to wear it. That's the choice I am talking about. Please excuse my frustration coming out. Sometimes we got to let go of that as well, but helps not to hurt others in that process. Given the amount of articles on cutting others out is it any wonder so many of us walk on egg shells. Laughs out loud. Is a good practice to be mindful. Once you practice it long enough it kind of sticks and other areas of our life – up or down it does not discriminate. Sorry I use too many words. Is a complex world and the way we get sucked in is just as complex. Those are hard core feelings your talking about. Many of us have different circumstances but you can be sure there are many quiet ones out there too afraid and ashamed to find their voice. Good for you! I don't mean to dismiss your feelings by saying you got nothing to feel ashamed about because anyone living in this *&^%ed up being how I just described is understandable that so many of us are regularly cut out ... our reaching out going unanswered. Like I don't know the answers myself and or what you’re looking for. We are all at difference stages within what I call a game with a lot of messed up rules. Some people just want to continue with what they only know re clinging and all that and then others are having trouble letting go. I know I am a bit of both but with the inclination of working towards answers I have previously found that are hard to explain. The take away in that is its not easy to stay on track when we do let go of the pain. I'm probably not making much sense but is always nice to touch base with someone that sounds as if they know some of what I mean. I hear ya is all. A lot of people don't like me talking this way but you know what ... the more I write, the more I like me. Having said that though, I know it's not just about me which is why I cared to reply and reach out at all. Please don't feel ashamed because your taking time to acknowledge what's within. My advice would be we would do well not to dig deep holes we often dig keep it honest as well. Try to write more from your own perspective and not so much of someone else's. That's the other thing about today's digital world. Many of us have become mindless observers and repeaters. Lately I have been writing in an online journal. I kind of gave up on this space because it feels more like a single pick up joint where only the pretty little profile pics grabs people’s attention away from their phones. lol. Seems true enough if you take the time to look around. It's all pretty much base on external dynamics and only those who talk about bubbly things and or self-promoting with claims of being fixers but not posting much else. That said that core focus of this site seems to be based on some really great methods and one's that have helped me a lot. Those courses are finished now, but I guess it's good they have left the platform open for those few that can make real connections. Don't mind all those people, the crowed that leave so many feeling even more isolated simply by their presence. Is like how the city by for many living in it. You seem like a nice person and although I'm not basing that on your image of a green leaf - you spoke up about how you’re really feeling and did so very well. I don't much on most platforms because I struggle to use less than a thousand words. This post consisting of 1150 to be exact. Smiles – All good. If you read this, then you’re a real person and I think your awesome. Keep expressing as you feel best. Nice to of met you. Those that often say we have low-self-esteem don’t understand it’s more a case of how this world and others in it constantly let us down. I just wanted to say I think your awesome and glad you’re it. : ) ~ Dave.

Hello Everyone ! I just want to encourage you to start Your Real Life right now, to start to be Happy and love your Life ! So I wanted to share a bit of my story and hope it will inspire you! Today I remembered how I was a year ago. I was sad, demotivated, I wanted to do a lot of things, to realize my dreams, to change my life and make it better, but I couldn't find the strength in myself to start the transition. l felt like a bird in the cage, prisoner of myself. And one day it was enough, I felt in myself that I couldn't go on like this and it was enough, I reached the point of no return. I saw the time passing and I didn't want to lose more time and live with regrets. So I stopped working, took some holidays, stopped thinking about my life and started to look for advices, experiences of others people on how to do this transition. I found a lot of information, too much information (videos on YT, articles etc.) ! but nothing very helpful. Despite this, I took a lot of notes and I found some authors, coach, motivational speakers very Interesting like Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Lise Bourbeau, Russell Brand, etc. So I watched a lot of videos about their selves and their methods but I noticed that the real keys were not in the videos, but and the book, so I bought books*!.....and then the transition to my new life began. Before, reading was not a pleasure for me because I'm an hyperactive person, but I found the way to read everywhere and easier : Audiobooks* !! (I will put the links of the books that helped me a lot down below!). And I focused on these books, and they changed my life forever. Honestly, before I couldn't think that it was possible for me to change myself, but with right tips, the right methods, and a little bit of work on myself I became more confident, more powerful and better in my head and in my body. You can't change yourself in the best way and get impressive results if you're not comfortable with yourself. So after this work on myself, I planned my new life and what I wanted to do, to become. Then, I quit my jobs, changed country and started studies to get the job of my dream. What an adventure !... and it's just the beginning ! So that's a little part of my story to tell you that everything is possible, whatever the time that it takes, whatever your age, your situation, there are always many possibilities to change your life and live your dreams. Trust yourself, stay focus, and never give up. For sure it won't be easy, because if it will be easy, everyone could do it… but You're NOT everyone ! Links of the books that changed my life : - https://amzn.to/3CSLTa3 : Tony Robbins / Unleash the Power Within: Personal Coaching to Transform Your Life - https://amzn.to/3QVqHEt : Brian Tracy / The Power of Self-Confidence: Become Unstoppable, Irresistible, and Unafraid in Every Area of Your Life - https://amzn.to/3wzja5U : Lise Bourbeau / Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self: Finally a Book That Explains Why It's So Hard Being Yourself Love / Julian

Very interesting and difficult task 😀 I am not so sure. Actually, I also tend to think like Lizzie. Quoting “Everything happens for a reason”. If I need to give some advice to my younger self: I would like to tell my younger self: “Start earlier in your life with meditation and find your purpose in life.” But I doubt this will work. I started meditation after certain life events. For me I had a stressful job. I need a solution. Luckily due to this problem/suffering, I found my jackpot. Ah. Now a thought just popped up, I have a concrete one for my younger self: My former education was in business administration. Working in the financial industry, makes me to taking decisions always after a “reasonable” calculation. But there are many things in life, which one can’t calculate this in terms of money. Don’t think too much in a materialistic/”reasonable” way. Even it looks like a stupid decision, if your wise and loving heart feels that this is the correct way, then go for it. Nice greetings from Vienna, Max

Meditation helps me a lot too. I started with mindfulness meditation. First few years trying it out allone with the guidance of the books, mostly from Jon Kabat-Zinn, which I can highly recomment. Now I am practicing with a Zen community. Here I come to see how important it is to have an authentic and compationate teacher, who can guide you on the path. It changes my life profoundly in a positive way. Paraphrasing other teachers: Happiness is found in your mind, not outside. Wishing you all the best on your journey, Max

Meditation can provide you with a feeling of quiet, harmony, and adjustment that can help both your profound prosperity and your general well-being. You can likewise utilize it to unwind and adapt to pressure by pulling together your consideration on something quieting. Meditation can assist you with figuring out how to remain focused and keep inward harmony. Meditation will foster your instinct, make you more alarmed increment determination and make you less forceful. - Since it assists you with clearing your head, reflection further develops your fixation levels, memory, and innovativeness and furthermore causes you to feel revived. Use this daily short meditation to help you improve your life. https://pastelink.net/mdezgsui

Hi! I'm Susan, All my life I have struggled with low self-worth, poor confidence, and not-so-great social skills. For years, I let those feelings overwhelm me and keep me from doing what I wanted. Only after surviving as a perfectionist, and overachiever was I able to find the courage to follow my dreams. And now I'm a writer who specializes in helping others find happiness. I write online articles and have a blog called https://joyamongchaos.com which speaks on how to be happy, become more confident, and solve problems that hinder joy. It makes me happy to help others! That's why I am here with you. My one wish is that I had the courage years ago to do this! I would be honored to encourage anyone who needs it. Thanks, everyone!

Hi, Fizzy, I’ve struggled my entire life trying to fit in. My social skills have never been that great, but I’ve learned it’s best to be me and not try to be anyone else. The best thing is to find people who have similar interests as you or who have things in common with. Stay close to any family you have who support you and just nurture your relationships. You are okay just as you are! Susan

Hi, Max, Now that you’ve taken charge of your life while taking care of yourself, you sound very happy. Life has to be in balance before happiness can happen. You’re on the right path! Susan

Dear Dave, Nice to meet you too First of all thank you for sharing your experience with me. Let me begin with answering your question about the study. I did not create the questions by myself. The questions are a collection of validated questions from different universities working on the field psychological well beings, social psychology, and mindfulness research. The two questions about the body weight and size are just control questions, only to check if the study result for self-view has influenced by the body size or not. I agree with you that the textbooks are not sufficient to put someone in a position, that he or can really be a help of others. Also the certificates do not say anything. For me it is just a door opener. I secretly hope that the combination of my formal education as psychologist and my meditation practice and the teaching of my teachers can get me somedays in a position, where I can be really of help for my fellow. But it is still a good way to go I am very sad to hear that you had bad experience with the people in the field. I can imagine that this makes the life even harder as it already is. It puts people in a helpless situation. And this is a situation, one can hardly imagine, if not experienced by him/herself. Instead of being helped, one just loose the confidence and think, even the specialist cannot help me in that situation. I think like every occupation, they are good and bad practioners. It is important not to give up. I really do wish, that finally you will meet the right person, who is able to help you. I would be happy if we can stay in touch. I hope you had a nice time cycling and enjoying the sun 🤠. All the best🙏☘️ Max

Hi Maxxu, I'll open up some more because I like the way you talk - not looking for advice but happy to engage with you. Forgive me as I wish to give some advice of my own but again because I like the way you speak and want to help. My take is no doubt bias but could still help. Who is not bias ... perhaps that is our purpose to deal with such things. Any ways: Nice to meet you. I won't wish you success (🙂) given your findings with such an ideal to which I have come to the same conclusion. That said I find those terms always creeping back into my speech which says more about our conditioning. Education is where it begins. That said, I do wish you all the best with your personal endeavors. I apologize that I am unable to fill out the questionnaire. May I ask, did you design that questions? I understand you will have to read many text books and give back answers to show that you have read everything and then be expected to repeat everything back in the order it was delivered; more or less I hope that when you become a psychologist that you will develop your own understanding towards helping others rather than relying on those textbooks. I've been on the other side of psychology full time most of my life and I can tell you those practicing whatever whom rely on such findings to questionnaires and the text books that are altered to keep up with them do not end up being much help to those that really need it; those often being the true cost of other peoples success. Jump through the hoops to be sure, I'm just saying that in my extensive gutter education that your not going to get the answers to helping those who become the by product of success (" money and sucess in career did not makes me a happy person") - and I agree for the my disclosed reasons. It's all exciting when still at an age to soak all that excess of information up with all kinds of systematical approaches that can be called upon now having all the answers ... how tall, how heavy, what diet, what country, what demographic and so on. Eventually you will find yourself unlearning it all so that you can actually be of help instead of just being a repeater in system where people are taught to respond. Conditioned people make for easy clients in a conditioned workplace endorsed with conditioned practitioners who hang their conditioned certificates proudly of a conditioned wall. Good working conditions - eh ... don't become one of those. Do jump through the hoops but if you actually want to make a difference ... be prepared to buck the system. Ensure you at the very least become a clinically approved (although you'll have to work harder to come up with your own way of helping people which again will see you unlearning much of it all) ... is often the same with many professions, but 100% the case with and in the healing industrial zone. Anything under clinically registered will see you also being churned up in a system as much as the byproduct you end up with. Trust me I know. General Practitioners (GP's) can practically overwrite a registered psychologist's hard work with a tick and flick. Most of your supporting letters will not get the reignition they deserve. So may times I have had that conversation with therapists who meant a lot to me. If you manage to work your up to being clinically registered you will not have to sign off with specialists that are taught to fix people problems to type of medication and dose. You will be less restricted and more able to work with diagnoses according to the both the so called science and eventually and more important your experience and the skill you develop in listening to clients. The latter way way more important that 'How Tall' - 'How Fat' and so on. I'm not suggesting science does not help, but your entering into a marketing industry that does way more damage than it does good. Burn out rates are high when resisting the pressure to simply become a BOT to which you yourself seem to regonsize having read another post of yours elsewhere in the forum. It's all sunshine and roses with accolades until someone actually wants to help within such great working conditions base on finely tuned programming. Yadda yadda ... I'm gladdened that you feel the way you do with all things excess and success. I feel the same way too. It's a hard pattern to break given the amount of focus on abundance and bliss. Regrettably for me I find the wellness community to be as fallibly as the medical industry. For this reason I rarely fit in and in most cases pushed to the side. In fact I don't know how long I will last here but thus far have kept my posts pretty tame. People run from discomfort as much as they are taught to reject negative feelings. I also struggle to play along with social expectation or give way to peer pressure. I've been kind of blessed with a very unique background that will ensure if there is such a thing as 'coming back' that I will be better prepared. Actually that might negate the purpose of living at all where again the focus on making people accountable for both purpose and contribution equates to the same fallibility as excess and success. This be often be where the by-product of such conditioning are pressured to fit-in or be rejected as no more than undesirable states of low vibrations. Alas this is how we end up with an imbalance with cliché answers - It's all sunshine and roses from there. 🙂 My experience ... although I have to head out on my push bike to better focus later on. The last 10 years since 2012 I have literally had close to one hundred and fifty psychotherapy sessions. Maybe more since I started having more of them. I started my psychotherapy sessions to the tune of once every six weeks on a government subsidized plan. Later this was changed to once every four weeks and then about three years ago when attacked in a road rage incident I ended up getting funding to meet with a psychologist once a week for over a year. Now we have gone back to once every two weeks. It's worth noting during this time I was attending with regularity as someone that knows how to make his sessions work. Due to my previous experience before this last decade I had actually already had couple of previous decades in the system with a very complex story. I did not receive my certificates (chuckles at that) labels which you wont find hanging on some wall, until I was in my 40s. You know I'd love to continue filling you in within the context of your propose vocation ... which Kudos to you ... sounds like it really is a vocation. But I really need to start cycling and grab some sun before it gets to high. Catch up with another friend in the flesh who like me is often on the receiving end of your intended profession. Unfortanley he tends to end up on it involutory. Probably the biggest difference between me and him, but I respect the guy because I understand. His mother recently dispatched herself tragic end which ended in a ball of flames. The extend to which I extrapolate meaningful information is often rejected and banned in many places because it includes challenging information that makes the conditioned feel uncomfortable and thus termed as negative. I tend to like journaling. Not sure how long I will be here. I'm at a cross roads myself and being mindful as can be with such revelations. I go get be some of that stuff for free that awaits out my front door and hope maybe we can chat another time but understand if too much. Again ... wishing you all the very best. Seems to be me you have nailed those terms that fail on so many. If you read any of my other posts you might note that my Dad hails from Singapore and lives in Australia. He used to be a psychiatrist and work at one of the local mental health hospitals. I could say Step Dad but not into that lingo. He did his best. At any rate he gave up psychiatry because the church we were all attending way back then. (Assembly of God during the 70s during a extreme period of evangelical tents popping up all over the country courtesy of America) Basically he was told/conditioned and agreed that psychiatry was the work of demons doing their bidding for Lucifer. He become a GP in a country practice. We kids were all shipped off to various homes for troubled children. That's kind of that in a nutshell. The movies (projectors) they showed at church with people getting their heads chopped off if they did not take the mark of the best did not help. They were pretty weird times that I don't think today's generation would know about if people like me did not write about them. At least in terms of those kind of cults. Just saying I got plenty of experience when it comes to psychotherapy. 🙂 Righto ... three smiley faces is enough for today and we don't want to traumatize anyone reading. hehe. Maybe catch up later? Have a good evening/afternoon and all that. later... you can call me: ~ Dave.

Hi All I am new here. Happiness is such an important issue. I am glad to join the group. Let me introduce my self. I am a chinese grow up in Europe. Having spend more a decade working in financial industry as a derivatives trader, I come to see that money and sucess in career did not makes me a happy person. The opposite is true, I was overworked - had no time for hobbies and Friend. So I quit my job and started to study psychology. Meditation help me to come more and more in touch with life again. I stopped acting as a robot and start to see the wonders of life. I wish all of you sincerly a fullfiling life and looking forward to be connect with you. Nice greetings from Vienna, Max

Bad Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results Free 30 Days Audiobook for you If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don't want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. Here, you'll get a proven system that can take you to new heights. Click Here: to Know about how to Change Bad Habits Clear is known for his ability to distill complex topics into simple behaviors that can be easily applied to daily life and work. Here, he draws on the most proven ideas from biology, psychology, and neuroscience to create an easy-to-understand guide for making good habits inevitable and bad habits impossible. Along the way, listeners will be inspired and entertained with true stories from Olympic gold medalists, award-winning artists, business leaders, life-saving physicians, and star comedians who have used the science of small habits to master their craft and vault to the top of their field. Free 30 Days audiobook Learn how to: Make time for new habits (even when life gets crazy) Overcome a lack of motivation and willpower Design your environment to make success easier Get back on track when you fall off course And much more.

Max! We all have an un-comprehensible journey ahead of us, as we continue to learn being unbound from what has been taught into creating what is, like an example is everything that we are stimulated by has a name already defined with a "name"/language although everything is, is; undefined.😆 But as soon as we are stimulated by something that hasn't been defined from our senses, sight, smell,. touch, sound and taste, we create one for ourselves and in every present moment with the ability of conscious awareness and all things discovered means we can achieve so much more balance to live as what we are but also as what the future needs of us. And this is only a small part im focusing on at the moment! Threre is so much more and I know you know this too. I am excited for your journey ahead Max and I hope everyone in your life can see the footprints you leave behind everywhere you go! I wish you the best and a spontaneous adventure for creating only the best memories!

Dear Mau5e, Dear All I like what you are saying. It is not easy to realise that one is not only a robot 🤖, passed down with the programming, gernerations of generations. I am now 46 years old. I think at least more than half of my life I lived as a robot, never doubt the programming I have received from my parents and environment. I had the luck to meet psychology and Mindfulness meditation, which make me able to see that everything appears in the mind are just thoughts without any substance. With that I start to see that we are not the slave of our conditionings. Since that I am practicing Zen regularly and start to uncover more and more. Life become easier and easier 🙂🙂 I wish everyone will have the blessings to be in touch with the reality 🙏❤️ All the best, Max

Maybe let share abit about me, Quite kid growing up, kept to myself and followed who lead the situation, can't forget that worlds of thoughts were happening behind the scenes during my development of self. Secondary school was different, I chose to be alone, but found people that saw the benefit of others, kind, selfless, but without purpose. Joined a religious cult without knowing and worked my way up to be the youth leader for 2 years, even became one of the provincial youth leaders. During this time I got to meet thousands of individuals all going through their versions of life and connecting threads with them to make it better, all improving my ability to thing holistically, logically and critically. This is why I say, iv lived thousands of lives, because iv got to live with so many people seeing life through their eyes. This religious cult had taken my life and thrown it upside down because leaving created a whole new world which is so small in the bigger picture. I further studied counselling and human development in university to help stimulate my mind to understand what and how we have become what we've become. I then worked corporate for 3 years, worked my way up to the senior manager, I have a knack for becoming better in any environment to the point of creating vision and direction and creating footsteps for people to follow. I challenged and experimented my reality from our 5 senses, creating a whole new perspective, skills and I like to say cheat codes to the current systemic nature. Jump to present, iv chosen to pursue happiness over the current way this world has developed itself for us to live in. Iv had my eyes opened and I see the world for what it is, diplomatic in nature and love to love all things misunderstood but alas if you don't want to play the game, you will have nothing, and right now, im hoping this nothing, has the ability to be everything.

What do I say? A limitless entity/being, well I mean we all are, that includes you "The one reading this in your mind" , We are not the subject of inherited information past down generation and generations where these informations start creating their own informations ruling the minds of many today but we are the ones in control of presence, this present moment all things encompassing unity, flow, reason, harmony pretty much everything in this present moment is happening all at once, that which is seen and that which is unseen, love it!! Life isn't and hasn't been the easiest while im trying to float being suppressed by the sheer number of people who are not close to discovering their own limitless self, but I have had a lot of opportunities allowing me to become the person I am today, helping and being part of thousands of peoples lives deeply, experimenting with my own beliefs and the potential of mind and body and guiding people to a better them by dealing with all the challenges we face. I mean im young but I got a whole lot of lives lived through my eyes. All love, I guess im finding better ways to tell this story, "Although our lovable main character, wrapped up in their story of life, he wonders if being at his lowest yet again is helping him search for the answer...the answer to yet another question purposely stimulating the compound matrix of nerves electrifying their brains for what would otherwise bE. JuSt. A. tHouGht." I guess ill need to figure this one out. Hi my name is Mau5e (mouse), nice to have you read the above. im all over the place as you could tell but hey, im sure you know little lot about me'ish. 😜

Please don't mind my quirky sense of of expression. I really mean no harm and like many others wish to make positive connections. Yesterday I read this website's article on how nostalgia can console and aging heart (my take) and noted the mention how various clinical practices are wary of said states of mind. I'm no expert on nostalgia but the essence of that article rang true enough for me. I only mention this stream of thought like so as to introduce an old poem I wrote some time ago that draws upon a time in my life where during adversity I was able to connect with a form of happiness that always been with me. I share this now: Perhaps not your average take on nostalgia but for me, many of my past recollections to do with personal associations that bring me peace are typically experienced through adversity. I only just found this poem this morning looking for through my large collection or personal photos hoping to find a positive association wishing to share another scenic image which typically yields for me a form of peace. I am hoping to get back into the practice of likewise photography in the near future but for now content to use online text. I don't like taking up space so don't suppose I will be hear for long as the inactivity is kind of making me stand out more then I like so perhaps will opt for a blog. Anyhoooows ... while I am here this for me rates as a share. You know, if I heard Eckhart Tolle correctly, I beleive it was a park bench him when he connected with that something within. I remember him distinctly talking about a similar experience that makes me think of how many times my homeless past offered me similar states of mind to much of what he went on teach. Heads Up! - I'm not saying I'm Jesus Christ. Laughs out loud because we got plenty of Messiah Complexes in this selfie age and I recoil from all of them. To be sure I struggle like every other human re my ego and I'm pretty sure it's woven into my text but I do try to be mindful of such things. I'm no guru on any of these things and in fact do not like self professed or glorified people. I don't do well with audiences because of such things and feel sad the way other people hold up popular people and then sell and profit kind of thing. Yet again I am sure we are all guilty of doing the same things on a personal level because is how we are pretty much conditioned to think and feel 24/7 But enough of that before that objective side of me if pegged as cynical. Any form of discomfort is shadow banned. How's that for perception management? Rhetorical Back to the love and light not being as it's always perceived. I finish this post with my take on nostalgia: "...on how nostalgia can console and aging heart ..." 3rd sentence in my above opening. I find as one grows older the distance between such spiritual connections (which I pretty much feel consciousness awakening/deeply felt mindful/'less' experiences are) grows more distance due to intolerance. Yet adversity seems to be ageless and the age factor in my spiel here is not quite right for me as I struggle to grasp with what I am really trying to say. Like I can see how it is that many people blinded by unconsciousness in the waking world only have their first spiritual insight only when their bodies start degrade to a point beyond their control as is inventible. Much of my quirky satire in my previous post includes this same take in the healing and well being industry. In fact much of it is based on avoiding the inevitable. But back to intolerance which and can often be expressed in terms of age but more so time under stress. The latter clinical but more often understood. The connection between time under stress and an aging heart is what I sense I am aiming for when attributing the solace that can drawn when looking back on whatever association. Despite being raised in a very religious surrounding that whilst did more damage than good for quite some time, I had this intrinsic connection with some kind invisible light despite the many who seemed unable to foster me. That said I was still prone to fall victim to another side of myself that played it's part as no more than byproduct in a very toxic system. That part of me is still very caught up in that world where it takes a lot of skill and focus NOT to identify with the many labels; we all have them and many they be. That's my morning share. Now I am off for a simply bicycle ride to catch up with a friend similar but not quite like me. Like minds do not always have to be a thing. hehe little chuckle at that one. Best to remain open no matter what and be accepting of everyone regardless of this world of boxes. Less is best in a world of excess. Quality over quantity but without the contention for that which does not fit. From this square peg ... peace out. 😉

Sorry you can't come in because your not positive enough! Wow. Are we really living a world like that? We love solving problems but no negatives allowed? Hmmm ... Houston, I think we have a problem! No wonder the numbers don't add up. There seems to be something missing? In fact, there seems to be a LOT missing! So how do we solve this issue of over abundance and inequality? Dar da da daaa ... do not fear; happy smiley is here. 🙂 ... Put on this cape and at the fist sign of discomfort "Cut and run!' I mean if anyone makes you feels sad, your mum, your dad, siblings or long time friends, the only way to solve the problem is to cut them out of your life and spend the reset of eternity blaming them for the world's negativity. You must only ever contemplate with a smile and smother yourself in excess. If your not thriving but only surviving then you must of done it wrong. Is there anyone else in left in your life that you can reject? Yes you must get rid of them too ... you should of rejected them first. Silly you. No matter, I have a link and a book that will solve all your problems. It's all about positivity and holds all the secrets to living a life of success. 1st and foremost you will manifest money!!! Yes, that is right ... you will finally have all you need to attract others like yourself. Every page is chapter is full of glorious revelations that will see you continue to thrive with each turning of the page. We guarantee that you will burst at the seems with joy and bliss that you really won't need anyone but people will want to be around you because that want to be like you. You'll be ecstatic no longer having to worry about others as you now just wear people like trinkets to show off your new authentic self. Hell ... you'll be able to make more success from the sales own books. Just remember to also reject anything or anyone that makes you feel uncomfortable. At the first sing of negativity we must extinguish with the shield of positivity. Just be sure when dispatching of others you do it love. Yet another secret. Do this and you'll never be wrong. Yea yea ... I know ... I'm just another one trying to sell another book. Sigh ... Here's to a glorious day in the trenches. A kid who knows a thing or two about the law of attraction ... It's all in the expelling - Breathing in mind, not continually rejecting as we do in this todays world of excess and quick fixes - Needles and pills in mind. I'll have an IV of todays vits and minerals please!\ Sometimes life is too short and other times its not short enough. Life simply does not exist without either dynamic. At least not outside of books or someone else's workshop. Be your own author and resonate as you must. Don't let others dictate your frequency. We might exist in a pool but we are all unique. Have a fantastic day. 🙃