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  1. Listening is also very important in maintaining strong relationships.
  2. Hello I know I can't be alone in this, but it seems like life becomes something of a horrible cycle between your bed at home and your seat at work, and any semblance of joy you end up killing, be that drinking too much coffee, too much wine, too much of a game etc, just so you get that feeling of control, or a flicker of joy. What's even worse is you attach yourself to people or things, and that almost becomes your purpose, but because of the low energy of your life mixed with the high expectation 'this thing' or person, who will somehow overcome all of life's misery, instead makes you feel flat upon contact with the enemy when you realise there was little to be gained, nothing but the hole in your stomach and black tar on your brain. I sit here now, my children asleep, listening to the sounds of cars driving by and sometimes the heightened chatter of passers by. Yet within me I feel that horrible sinking feeling that with each passing second, the world becomes further and further away from my reach.
  3. Day after day, my voyage ends,the words die out on the tongue,and the time come to take shelter in a silent obscurity.And one day, under the great sky in solitude and silence,with humble heart shall I stand face to face with the abyss.Then, I think, I will understand.Then, I think, I will understand,why there is such a play of colors on clouds, on water,and why flowers are painted in tints,why there is music in leaves,and why the waves sending their chorus of voices to the heartof the listening earth when I sing to make you dance. 352da7372436a138f67f15de16f2bf55.mp4
  4. I came to the conclusion yesterday that I need to insist on my opinion more often. You have to listen to other people's opinions when you can't do anything on your own. But listening to others first, doing things this way, and only then trying my own way is a disaster.
  5. Hi, in my view, the purpose of meditation is to enjoy inner feelings like love and contentment, rather than physical sensations like heartbeats and breaths. From personal experience, I believe that these sensations are meditation triggers, that can be replaced. Personally, when I meditate on an inner feling, my brain starts to care less about sensory input like bodily sensations. For me, listening to music that triggers the desired feeling, often makes it easier for me to enter the meditation state. All the best!
  6. Day after day, my voyage ends, the words die out on the tongue, and the time come to take shelter in a silent obscurity. And one day, under the great sky in solitude and silence, with humble heart shall I stand face to face with the abyss. Then, I think, I will understand. Then, I think, I will understand, why there is such a play of colors on clouds, on water, and why flowers are painted in tints, why there is music in leaves, and why the waves sending their chorus of voices to the heart of the listening earth when I sing to make you dance. f964cae4330cf51190e9fd5d175b8bbf.mp4
  7. First of all I didnt ask to explain active listening - Thats something else. Secondly Its not “my” theory. Im new here and thought people know about Mindfulness. Getting a reply from a kid who thinks this is a question about I cannot communicate r.i.p
  8. I'm confused... You present your theory "The art of listening" to us... And now you want us to explain your theory? I will try. There is passive listening, where someone just listens to something and that's it. Passive listening can be boring and it ends, when the speaker is done. Then there is active listening, where someone is guiding a conversation with questions and interaction to start a conversation and to keep it alive. A good example are interviews and talk shows. So if you would like to get to know people and nobody is active, then you can be the active part by telling stories and asking questions.
  9. What to do if everyone is quite, and there is nothing to listen to? the art of listening helps when people talk, u listen, and the communication will go fluently, and the other person will be happy bc they can also feel that u listen. But… in some situations, people will be silence, they will rather listen to u, or they will just not talk. I am just confused how this theory works in these situations
  10. I love listening to inspirational audios or videos or reading inspirational books first thing in the morning each day. It sets a good tone of the day. And practicing gratitude as well. Self love is so key, and it is ok to use external sources to help you when you feel down, until you can give it to yourself ❤️
  11. One thing I would like people to know about me is that I am new not just to this community, but to the concept of earth angels, light workers, starseeds and such. I'm very open to learning as much as possible and being of assistance to whomever I am able to be assistance to. I'm also a good listener, even if I may not be able to fix something, I do enjoy listening. I especially like to hear to people's stories of how they have gotten to where they are now and how they have grown into the person they are today.
  12. Hi, I'm new to the forum but not to meditation. I found peace of mind in my teens with Yoga although I didn't consciously meditate. In my thirties I started going to a Tai Chi class which taught me a lot about mindfulness, although it wasn't called that at the time. Tai chi is a form of meditation in itself even though it is practiced moving. I got 'into' Tai Chi so much that when a friend asked me to take over teaching a class, I took it on and over the last twenty plus years I have developed that and run a few regular classes every week. To be more precise, just over five years ago I found a Qigong teacher and have gradually changed my practice and teaching to that discipline. For those of you who don't know what Qigong is, it's the precursor of Tai Chi and goes back centuries. My Qigong teacher is very knowledgeable and also practices Shiatsu and has run both Tai Chi and martial arts classes. However, he does not meditate as such, although the way he practices Qigong is very profound and internal. Six years ago I had a mild heart attack, and have suffered from palpitations for as long as I can remember. This means that I find it uncomfortable using internal cues such as the heartbeat in meditation. Whenever I feel anxious and have a high heart rate, I find that listening to my heartbeat or breath is not soothing, and often only magnifies my discomfort. I find daydreaming most effective in calming and lowering my heart rates - imagining a relaxing scenario or 'telling myself a story'. My question is this - is there a way to overcome my discomfort with internal sensations, or alternatively is there something similar to daydreaming that I can harness or duplicate as a meditation? I'd be interested to hear any suggestions.
  13. Yes I also agree and also used to listening music which kept me dancing just to do some fun.
  14. Meditation is a great way to relax, and listening to meditation music helps also. Here is one I find useful and helps me relax....
  15. As for me growing up into my 20’s wasn’t that good for me I’ve been under estimated By people that is called family look at me like I wasn’t Going to amount to anything now I put those thoughts aside because God put me where I want to be I’m happy that I’m able to wake up every day to see my kids I’m in school and my journey is just going to get better for me staying happy is a my strategy And i like listening to music and ima keep on dancing’ for fun i don’t wanna live my-life Angry Miserable Ima keep being me …
  16. There are a lot of things that make me happy, but some of my favourite things include spending time with family and friends, being outdoors in nature, travelling to new and interesting places, experiencing different cultures, reading and learning new things, listening to music, and spending time on creative pursuits. I think it's important to find out what makes you happy and to make time for those things in your life. For me, happiness is a state of mind that comes from within, so no matter what is happening around me I can find moments of happiness if I look for them. I hope you can find things that bring you happiness as well!
  17. Getting out with my Mom Eating Showering Seeing my sister Listening to music and singing along
  18. I don't have a similar problem, but I spent some time last year in a reading group and we delved into books by people of color. I also spent some time in online groups reading articles by people of color specifically written for white people designed to get us to think about things from their point of view. I also go into groups on Facebook and when I see that someone has been victimized by police or in another situation as a person of color and they are angry I go into the posts and listen. Would I learned in all of this is that what they need is someone to listen not to be guilty or to say I'm sorry or to tell them how they can fix their problems or anything but to just listen. Now I am not a therapist or a psychiatrist so I know you have a different way of coming at it, but I would imagine that you have to just listen over and over and over and over and maybe present the same advice over and over and over and over especially as a white person listening to a person of color and that is an extra part of your job, whether unfortunately or fortunately for you. We, as white people, are required to pay for our forefathers sins I have learned.
  19. So you are a psychiatrist? I can't really comment the problem since I don't know what you told her to do. I'm not a psychiatrist, but I'm a friendly and empathic person, so I know what it's like to absorb other people's problems. In my experience, you can't force people to do the (in your opinion) right thing. Listening already helps them a lot, because they are not alone with the problem anymore. And all you can do is suggesting different ideas to solve the problem. I learned that people are stronger than I expected. So even though something sounds horrible to me and I imagine the person suffering 24/7, the person is doing better than I expect. Maybe you can find a role model for her. Someone she can identify with.
  20. I'm working with a client who makes me feel crazy. I don't remember who else said this but I remember reading that "the worst I feel after our sessions, the better my client feels". And I feel the same way. It's tough as this person just keeps replaying the same movements of hurt in their lives again and again and again. And so I tried everything, but this person just keeps coming back to me with the same problem, same complaints, and they just make me feel bad. To give you an example, they are a POC, and they have a big issue with the white community, with racism, sexism, and overall other people's behavior, with me being the white male, meaning that I'm exactly the type of person she has an issue with. And so I try to show compassion by relating to her feelings and trying to reframe her feelings, listening, and letting her vent out. It gets very dark sometimes and I just keep on being sucked into all this drama, not really able to break through, as this person isn't allowing herself to follow my advice. Sometimes, she doesn't even want to let me talk, but just uses me as a way to express all her negative emotions, saying that while she knows that she knows what she must do, she just doesn't want to pull the trigger, rather revisit the same hurt again and again and again. I mean, I tried to play emotional chess with her, whereas I try different approaches trying to break through. And while there is arguably some progress, the effort has to be bilateral, with her listening to me, doing the exercises, and overall wanting to break free from these emotions to a degree that they actually do something about it. Anyone else has a similar problem?
  21. Hi Maxxu, I'll open up some more because I like the way you talk - not looking for advice but happy to engage with you. Forgive me as I wish to give some advice of my own but again because I like the way you speak and want to help. My take is no doubt bias but could still help. Who is not bias ... perhaps that is our purpose to deal with such things. Any ways: Nice to meet you. I won't wish you success (🙂) given your findings with such an ideal to which I have come to the same conclusion. That said I find those terms always creeping back into my speech which says more about our conditioning. Education is where it begins. That said, I do wish you all the best with your personal endeavors. I apologize that I am unable to fill out the questionnaire. May I ask, did you design that questions? I understand you will have to read many text books and give back answers to show that you have read everything and then be expected to repeat everything back in the order it was delivered; more or less I hope that when you become a psychologist that you will develop your own understanding towards helping others rather than relying on those textbooks. I've been on the other side of psychology full time most of my life and I can tell you those practicing whatever whom rely on such findings to questionnaires and the text books that are altered to keep up with them do not end up being much help to those that really need it; those often being the true cost of other peoples success. Jump through the hoops to be sure, I'm just saying that in my extensive gutter education that your not going to get the answers to helping those who become the by product of success (" money and sucess in career did not makes me a happy person") - and I agree for the my disclosed reasons. It's all exciting when still at an age to soak all that excess of information up with all kinds of systematical approaches that can be called upon now having all the answers ... how tall, how heavy, what diet, what country, what demographic and so on. Eventually you will find yourself unlearning it all so that you can actually be of help instead of just being a repeater in system where people are taught to respond. Conditioned people make for easy clients in a conditioned workplace endorsed with conditioned practitioners who hang their conditioned certificates proudly of a conditioned wall. Good working conditions - eh ... don't become one of those. Do jump through the hoops but if you actually want to make a difference ... be prepared to buck the system. Ensure you at the very least become a clinically approved (although you'll have to work harder to come up with your own way of helping people which again will see you unlearning much of it all) ... is often the same with many professions, but 100% the case with and in the healing industrial zone. Anything under clinically registered will see you also being churned up in a system as much as the byproduct you end up with. Trust me I know. General Practitioners (GP's) can practically overwrite a registered psychologist's hard work with a tick and flick. Most of your supporting letters will not get the reignition they deserve. So may times I have had that conversation with therapists who meant a lot to me. If you manage to work your up to being clinically registered you will not have to sign off with specialists that are taught to fix people problems to type of medication and dose. You will be less restricted and more able to work with diagnoses according to the both the so called science and eventually and more important your experience and the skill you develop in listening to clients. The latter way way more important that 'How Tall' - 'How Fat' and so on. I'm not suggesting science does not help, but your entering into a marketing industry that does way more damage than it does good. Burn out rates are high when resisting the pressure to simply become a BOT to which you yourself seem to regonsize having read another post of yours elsewhere in the forum. It's all sunshine and roses with accolades until someone actually wants to help within such great working conditions base on finely tuned programming. Yadda yadda ... I'm gladdened that you feel the way you do with all things excess and success. I feel the same way too. It's a hard pattern to break given the amount of focus on abundance and bliss. Regrettably for me I find the wellness community to be as fallibly as the medical industry. For this reason I rarely fit in and in most cases pushed to the side. In fact I don't know how long I will last here but thus far have kept my posts pretty tame. People run from discomfort as much as they are taught to reject negative feelings. I also struggle to play along with social expectation or give way to peer pressure. I've been kind of blessed with a very unique background that will ensure if there is such a thing as 'coming back' that I will be better prepared. Actually that might negate the purpose of living at all where again the focus on making people accountable for both purpose and contribution equates to the same fallibility as excess and success. This be often be where the by-product of such conditioning are pressured to fit-in or be rejected as no more than undesirable states of low vibrations. Alas this is how we end up with an imbalance with cliché answers - It's all sunshine and roses from there. 🙂 My experience ... although I have to head out on my push bike to better focus later on. The last 10 years since 2012 I have literally had close to one hundred and fifty psychotherapy sessions. Maybe more since I started having more of them. I started my psychotherapy sessions to the tune of once every six weeks on a government subsidized plan. Later this was changed to once every four weeks and then about three years ago when attacked in a road rage incident I ended up getting funding to meet with a psychologist once a week for over a year. Now we have gone back to once every two weeks. It's worth noting during this time I was attending with regularity as someone that knows how to make his sessions work. Due to my previous experience before this last decade I had actually already had couple of previous decades in the system with a very complex story. I did not receive my certificates (chuckles at that) labels which you wont find hanging on some wall, until I was in my 40s. You know I'd love to continue filling you in within the context of your propose vocation ... which Kudos to you ... sounds like it really is a vocation. But I really need to start cycling and grab some sun before it gets to high. Catch up with another friend in the flesh who like me is often on the receiving end of your intended profession. Unfortanley he tends to end up on it involutory. Probably the biggest difference between me and him, but I respect the guy because I understand. His mother recently dispatched herself tragic end which ended in a ball of flames. The extend to which I extrapolate meaningful information is often rejected and banned in many places because it includes challenging information that makes the conditioned feel uncomfortable and thus termed as negative. I tend to like journaling. Not sure how long I will be here. I'm at a cross roads myself and being mindful as can be with such revelations. I go get be some of that stuff for free that awaits out my front door and hope maybe we can chat another time but understand if too much. Again ... wishing you all the very best. Seems to be me you have nailed those terms that fail on so many. If you read any of my other posts you might note that my Dad hails from Singapore and lives in Australia. He used to be a psychiatrist and work at one of the local mental health hospitals. I could say Step Dad but not into that lingo. He did his best. At any rate he gave up psychiatry because the church we were all attending way back then. (Assembly of God during the 70s during a extreme period of evangelical tents popping up all over the country courtesy of America) Basically he was told/conditioned and agreed that psychiatry was the work of demons doing their bidding for Lucifer. He become a GP in a country practice. We kids were all shipped off to various homes for troubled children. That's kind of that in a nutshell. The movies (projectors) they showed at church with people getting their heads chopped off if they did not take the mark of the best did not help. They were pretty weird times that I don't think today's generation would know about if people like me did not write about them. At least in terms of those kind of cults. Just saying I got plenty of experience when it comes to psychotherapy. 🙂 Righto ... three smiley faces is enough for today and we don't want to traumatize anyone reading. hehe. Maybe catch up later? Have a good evening/afternoon and all that. later... you can call me: ~ Dave.
  22. Lovely reading your texts. No worries. I will seek out the frequency I need. I do meditate and hike often on my own and need a daily practice so the frequency listening will help. Thanks for your thoughts much appreciated. My internal balance does need attention but the lack of close friendships is always there. They r I believe two different t issues. One is inside the other outside. Take care. Regards.
  23. Listen to your inner voice.. If you want to reduce your stress, do things that make you happy. You can do yoga, exercise and eat a healthy diet. But apart from this, you can also mediate which will also make you feel calm and peaceful. Listening to some guided mediation can give you some relief. Sound healing mediation is also a great way to relieve stress and anxiety.
  24. Things that really make me happy Things that make me laugh Which helps me to forget the stress I am doing things that give me a reason to live…. listening just my inner voice rather than thinking about society and negative thoughts.
  25. If you are a beginner in meditation and need some help, try listening to some guided mediations. With guided meditation, you can easily focus on what you want to do. there are many good podcast available on different podcast platform.
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