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Hi all – adult friendships are extremely hard to make and keep I have found. I walk a pretty lonely road as I have health issues (chronic fatigue syndrome, MDD, type one diabetes), which has resulted in impaired vision such that I can no longer enjoy meeting in groups with people in the evening.. this is isolating and depressing. I live in Indiana and wish I lived in Arizona! I am interested in gardening, photography and all things personality, such as the MBTI and the Enneagram. I am particularly interested in connecting with like-minded spiritual people.

Welcome! I would love to read about a psychologists kind of living. Personally, I notice the disappearance of active friends with age. In school and at the university some friendships are left behind, some endure, but after these times, getting to know new people becomes hard. Early this year I started a new hobby: photography. It gives me motivation to go outside, I get to meet other photographers and models, it's a new skill I learn, I receive positive feedback and it's fun. So I can recommend starting a hobby you'd like to try and join others. It can be anything like dancing, playing tennis, joining a chess club, visiting a painting workshop and much more.

Join Community Groups and Clubs: Community groups and clubs are excellent platforms for meeting like-minded individuals who share similar interests. Look for local organizations, hobby groups, sports clubs, book clubs, or volunteering opportunities in your area. Engaging in activities you enjoy will naturally attract others with similar passions, providing a great foundation for building friendships. мParticipate in Local Classes or Workshops: Consider enrolling in local classes or workshops that align with your interests or hobbies. Whether it's a cooking class, art workshop, dance lessons, or language courses, these environments promote interaction and collaboration, creating opportunities to connect with fellow participants who share similar passions.

I'm so happy to have found this community. I look forward to hearing from others on here but especially from anyone in Texas. I'm in San Antonio so if anyone on here is too or from nearby and would like to meet let me know. I'm excited to make other's acquaintance and hopefully new friendships will be created.

Lovely reading your texts. No worries. I will seek out the frequency I need. I do meditate and hike often on my own and need a daily practice so the frequency listening will help. Thanks for your thoughts much appreciated. My internal balance does need attention but the lack of close friendships is always there. They r I believe two different t issues. One is inside the other outside. Take care. Regards.

Hello everyone, I live in the North West of England, where I have settled since leaving the armed forces. I am finding it difficult to make friends, as I have no connection with this area such as school friends etc. I came to here because my spouse was from here, and I have a job here. I would like to meet people from this area to hopefully build friendships.

Hi all, thanks for your support. A quick update on my journey as a meditation beginner. I started guided meditation using creative visualisation and manifesting techniques and the result is scary. I wasn't expecting instant results and I am manifesting new abundance in my life, health, work, business, home, relationships, friendships and finances. I am using some free audio resources at Guided Meditation & Hypnosis. Anyone can manifest their own abundance through meditation using the creative visualisation and manifesting methods. Happy manifesting guys and please update the group about what good you manifested.

I made a friend at the bus station. That was an unexpected location. Usually unexpected friendships for me are the ones where a friendship builds after an initial dislike.

Always. Real friends will dote on you like a proud parent. They will also offer constructive criticism to help you on your journey and will expect the same from you. The reciprocity of respect and honest is what makes the best friendships last forever.

Totally agree that it's important to set boundaries with your friendships and relationships! And it's also totally okay to tell a friend if you are not in the right headspace or mentally capable to deal with their unloading. We all have good days and bad, and if it starts to affect your mental health or your wellbeing you should be able to be honest about that too.

Sorry for your loss. But yeah, friendships evolve. I used to see my school friends every day in school, then I saw them every few months and now in times of the pandemic maybe twice a year, but it's still fun to meet and the friendship somehow survived. The is also one friend, who I actually like but we didn't have much contact since he got a new job. I had a lot to setting up my new appartment, but now I plan to meet him more often again.

Unfortunately I have recently learned the lesson about one-sided friendships. I lost my mum recently after caring for her and during her illness and the grieving process there were many people who I thought that would be there for me that were not (conversely, people I didn't expect to reach out, did!). One or two of those that didn't reach out that much were – what I thought – best friends. We had been through a lot together! I may not always remember birthdays, but I think I'm a good friend in that I always listen, give advice to my friends, support them etc. So, I discovered some so-called friends in a new light and realized how one-sided they could be with things. For myself, I actually decided not to do anything; I didn't want to share my disappointment with them or try to talk it through. I was too busy with just getting through each day. Also, as there was a pandemic I also tried not to judge them. Maybe they had their own shit going on? So, I decided to just step back and stop reaching out to those people due to their one-sided nature. I think if we are meant to reconnect we will. My situation is quite extreme, but maybe your friend so just have the courage to confront their friend and be open about it?

Who is "you"? Can't be me, because I added you 2 days ago ^^ I think, there are different roles in friendships and in groups of friends. One or a few leaders with ideas and engagement and one or a few followers. Some years ago I was quite shy, so I was a follower. I didn't want to be the center of attention, because I was insecure. This role is totally fine, it's easy, because you never have to organize something and you still have some fun. But a follower is expendable. It doesn't really matter if there are 4 or 3 followers, because the ideas and the organisation will be the same. A leader is important, because there will be no meetings, no fun, no activities without him/her. So everybody wants to be the leader's friend. 4 years ago, I met a new group of friends were all the people were a little shy, so I saw my chance and became a leader just by being a little confident and by organizing a crew meeting. And it feels great to be a leader. Sure, you have to invest engagement and work but you get a lot of respect in return, so I think it's worth it. So if you feel like your friendships are one sided or people don't really care about you, you could try to be a leader. Don't go to a party, organize the party, invite people and everyone will talk about your great party. This works best in real life.

My most friendship is also one sided like any one sided love interest. Now a days in real life no friends for hangout and previous life friends are busy in their life. I think one sided friendships is also cool and I am successful with internet friends. You are also a example of my one sided friends to think sometimes as a special girl for me. You did not accept my friendship request but still I am commenting and engaging at your posts. When a friendship is one sided, two sided love can happen. Lol 😀

As we change, our relationships and friendships change. A friendship that was satisfying for a long time can change into one we are no longer comfortable with. When a friendship is one-sided, we might even feel used, unseen, and manipulated. I think you already answered by mentioning healthy boundaries. We need to be honest with ourselves and others and set these boundaries for the sake of our friendship, ourselves, and also our friends. Who, if not our close friends, deserve our honest feedback.

Hi, my friends always seem to be upset, and I try cheering them up, but I get nothing in return and I am exhausted and upset, what should I do? They don’t appreciate me.

I can never speak up for everyone–but I was always the dependent one in my friendships. I was introverted mostly in high school so it was really difficult for me to make other friends and approach other people. Of course, this made the transition to college especially hard since my friends and I were taking on different majors and couldn't hang out as much anymore. You could say, in a way, they "moved on". What really helped me was connect with others who shared similar hobbies and interests. In high school, I was a huge science nerd. The thing that helped crawl out of my introverted shell was climate activism. Which eventually led me to a slight obsession with alternative energy–which then brought me into a science debate club and earned me a new set of college friends. But before I even met my new college friends, I was less lonely because I was zoning into my research and my activism. This is why, as cliche as it may seem, I believe in the saying "when you do your passion, you attract the same passionate people". Just find something that your heart really yearns for and the people come as a byproduct of that. Hope this helps

I think a lot of people can relate to the feeling of wanting someone else there to share a situation, a place, an experience, or even life with. Once the situation in the world has become more normal it will once again be easier to connect face to face with others, and get to know people to form friendships and relationships. Being able to feel contentment even when we feel like something's missing is something positive I think, as it is easy to fall into a more bitter and negative state of mind. Wishing you a lovely week! ?

Sometimes it does help to write it down or tell it out loud - it makes it more real and it makes you see it with new perspective. In situations with problematic friendships or relationships I also try and think "what advice would I give if it was a friend / family member who was going through this?" It is definitely easier said than done, but it also helps to see things a bit more clearly. ?

Thank you for sharing this situation here, friendships can sometimes be a lot more complicated than romantic relationships and I think most of us have gone through hurtful episodes with friends. To try and answer your questions, I think you did nothing wrong by trying to talk to your friend about this traumatic experience. She then had the choice on how she responded to that, which was not the love and support you needed from her. I think it's one thing to set a boundary and say something like "I'm so sorry you're going through this, but at the moment I'm not capable of fully being there". However, I don't think it's okay to call someone 'delusional' or suggest that they 'made it up'. It's hard for me to say why she reacted that way, or whether she was ever a real friend to you. Perhaps she was at one point. Sometimes a good friendship that maybe should have ended sooner, gets dragged on for years only based on the fact that 'we've always been friends' - even though there is not much love or interest left. I think, maybe she is on your brain because you feel that you have unresolved issues with her, and are questioning the friendship in general. It can definitely be worth talking to someone professional about this too, it sounds like the friendship with her was toxic at times, and you might need help to process it. We can't always get 'closure' with a person, but rather need to try and get it with ourselves. ? Sending you a hug and lots of positive energy! ?

I have a few close friends that I care about a lot, most of them I've known for a long time. I wouldn't want to know what it would like to be living without them, my friendships are really important to me. Even just not being able to see them during lockdown has been tough, but I've found myself chatting to them more than before - even though it's on social media or over the phone.

Hi Krista, I'm sorry to hear you feel disheartened. I think in the past there have been very many meaningful interactions and discussions between members, but it appears to have quietened down quite a bit. I know in my own experience, I let life just happen for weeks on end, and don't really spend time checking in on social platforms. I think many people are also just afraid or cautious to reach out, especially online, and sometimes think no one is interested in what they're going through. In these instances, I take the approach of respecting their privacy and offering support in the forum instead. Why not try and find members close to or in your area and reach out to them directly? Genuine friendships can be found in very many ways, and I think some might take a bit of time to cultivate. I hope you find what you’re looking for, and I am happy to assist as and where I can.

Hi, I’m a 51 year old child at heart. I don’t look or act my age. I’m looking for others to connect with regardless of age. Since moving here from Buffalo NY 4 years ago I don’t have many friends. (Not close ones) so I sometimes feel a little lonely. From only being on here a few weeks, it doesn’t seem like there is much interaction between members other than to welcome them to the site. I’m a little disheartened by this. I joined because I thought I’d find some like minded individuals or even complete opposite individuals to form bonds with. If this is not the kind of site for such interaction, I may just delete my account. I hope this is not the case because I was really hoping to find genuine friendships. Thoughts? thank you for listening. peace! Krista

Over the last week, I've been introduced to some extraordinary tools that have been absolutely vital in my own personal pursuit and I'd like to share these tools with you. What does happiness truly look like? For myself, I am happy in improving my life at the moment. That has been my main focus right now. I'm still struggling to define what sorts of actions make me happy, but for now, diving into my psychology and doing the things necessary to improve myself, brings me happiness. For example, I'm just now getting into a program that is going ot help me pay back my college loans that are currently in default. The whole program will take 9 months to get me out of default status and a further 2 years to eliminate my owed debt entirely. I often find myself being impatient with this, however. 9 months is a long time and I really want to get back into school, I'm looking to take up welding as a profession. Enter the first tool I've recently learned Patience. A lot of the things that bother me are not in my control at this moment and that's ok. The general idea is to try to moderate your emotional investment. The hardest part of every journey is the very beginning and often times we tend to quit just before hitting the knee of the growth curve. This is because we emotionally exhaust ourselves and by the time we are just a few days, a few weeks maybe, away from that knee of the curve, that we just simply are drained completely and just quit. But had we taken the time to apply the principles of patience, the return would vastly outweigh the initial investment. So if you are struggling with this area like I do. Try asking yourself these 3 questions, apply them to your own specific circumstances. 1. What does a lazy approach look like in this endeavor? Could be school, a relationship, work, self actualization, maybe you're depressed and anxious and you're just wanting those results. So ask yourself, what a lazy approach would look like. To be lazy would be to do nothing, right? You're not putting in the effort, you're not doing the work etc. 2. What does an impatient approach look like in this endeavor? We all get impatient. It's only natural. We want results and we want them now. But that is a double edged sword. You can end up causing more harm than good. Maybe you're trying to take on ALL the tasks, maybe you're trying to cramp ALL the information, trying to do ALL the work. But you have to allow yourself to moderate how you invest your energy. Take the time to do each step, apply each step, learn each step etc. 80-90% of the emotional labor of any endeavor is going to be in those beginning phases and you're not going to see much growth. You'll see tiny bits of growth here and there. You gotta learn to appreciate those tiny growths and stop looking at the end result as an ends to a means. 3. What does a wise approach look like in this endeavor? So exactly what does this mean? How do we know what a wise approach is? It's actually pretty simple. A wise approach is giving yourself the time to grow, even when the growth doesn't seem to actually be there. Find it, appreciate it, enjoy it. Are you working towards that great relationship that's going to last the rest of your life? Are you writing a book that could change humanity? Are you starting your own business? Are you doing personal development? Any of these things and more are going to take time. It's going to take consistent effort on your part and your job is to try to make the best of the hardest parts of that journey. Ask yourself a few follow up questions. 1. Would this endeavor be worth it, if it took 4x as long as you initially planned? 2. Would this endeavor be worth it, if it took 100 to 1000 times the emotional investment as you planned? If you're working on something like meditation, mastering your emotions, chasing that wonderful relationship, starting your own business, writing a book etc. The answer to both of these questions should be yes. It is absolutely worth the investment because when it comes time to reap the rewards, it's going to be far surpassing anything you had conceived. If the answer is no, perhaps you're either not invested and maybe that project isn't for you, or perhaps it could be your own neurotic mindset, getting in your way. You have to be the judge on that. Moving forward there are 5 simple things that you need to stop allowing to influence your happiness. Just bear in mind, this works hand in hand with the previous tool. Results aren't going to be immediate and that's ok. 1. Your past We all have a past and it can sometimes be pretty murky at best. This includes things others have done to hurt you, things you've done to hurt others, things you've done to hurt yourself, bad choices and mistakes, all the things that made you who you are. You are not those things, you are you. So stop labeling yourself with the ghosts of the past. 2. Your relationships This could be friendships, relationships, family etc. This doesn't mean that any of these things were bad or are bad. Maybe you've had wonderful relations with pretty much everyone you know. It's still equally important to not base your happiness around those relationships. Relying on others to provide our happiness for us is a very clingy and neurotic way of living and chances are, it will ruin that relationship. 3. Your own limited beliefs Have you ever criticized yourself? Said "there's no way I can do that"? Having realistic expectations of what you expect from life is good, but when you begin to say you cannot because of past experience or because of some arbitrary limitation you put on yourself, it becomes an issue. Say for example, you're an introvert that wants to make friends. A stereotypical label that you might put on yourself is that it's not in your nature to make friends or that you can't have friends because of that introverted nature. Let go of that. Maybe you think you won't get that job because you view yourself as a failure. Maybe you feel like you won't get that job because you're not good enough. Maybe you feel like your business won't succeed because you're not a good leader. Whatever it is that you put on yourself. Maybe you think you can't succeed because of your physical appearance or your gender or your skin color. All of these are self defining labels that cause so much detriment in our lives. 4. Other people's opinions of you Just as equally as the way we label ourselves, if we allow others to tell us who we are or what we can be, it is that same detrimental outcome as if we had labeled ourselves, because we are in a sense. We accept the labels that other people put on us. The goal is to stop doing that. Even when they do so with good intentions. 5. Money We all know that money makes the world go round. But the illusive chase of just money is a cold and primal way of living often leaving a person to appear as cold and heartless. I'm not saying to just go and quit your job or that money is evil. What I'm saying is that money shouldn't be the ONLY motivator in your life. It's reasonable to want to be capable of sustaining yourself, a family, having the possessions you want and all that. Just don't be so focused on it that you lose sight of everything else. It's the easiest, fastest track to a toxic life. So that's it! Now the only objective left is to find what actually makes you happy. Go out and try new things, pick up a new hobby, give it 4 weeks. Be patient and approach it as though you want to enjoy it, because that is the purpose of this whole endeavor after all. Not everything is going to strike your fancy and that's ok, at least you tried and now you know.

Dido..I'm on the same journey, cultivating connections that can lead to friendships.