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The Addict - an ode Have you ever know an addict Living with their truth Battling self convictions Ever since their youth Well dear friends show some respect The addict lives inside And those amongst brave enough Rarely try and hide The form in which it gives us The pleasure that we need This functional dysfunction That we all seem to breed Cause when we live with what's inside And you wear it on your sleeve Make no mistake about it The truth shall set you free Sany

The Addict - an ode Have you ever know an addict Living with their truth Battling self convictions Ever since their youth Well dear friends show some respect The addict lives inside And those amongst brave enough Rarely try and hide The form in which it gives us The pleasure that we need This functional dysfunction That we all seem to breed Cause when we live with what's inside And you wear it on your sleeve Make no mistake about it The truth shall set you free Sany

This was the first New Year I actually enjoyed in a long time. Self care and a healthy mindset definitely helps the positive vibes. Love and Light ??

Wishing everybody a fantastic start to the new year... ❤️ For me it's the time to re-group and connect again with myself and others. It's been a reflective year and one of much self-awareness. If anyone feels the same or would like to connect let me know Love, Beth ?

Greetings lovely people, I had been searching for something for a while... Initially I didn't know what it was. I just knew something was missing. I read just about every self help/metaphysical book you could think of. These would give me a temporary high, but then I would still come back to the same feeling. I changed jobs and moved house, I would feel better, but then that feeling would slowly creep back. I went on silent retreats, travelled far and wide, lived off grid, meditated, tried various forms of therapy but still felt the same. I went through a stage where I disconnected from everyone around me. I convinced myself that I didn't need anyone. Things got so dark for me, I wouldn't even allow the sun to shine through my windows. Then one day, I opened up, and let one person in...It wasn't as bad as my mind decided it would be. Actually, it was pleasant. Over time, I started to become more open to people and new situations. I started to disconnect from materialistic things that I once thought were important and started to connect with the earth and nature. I started to feel peoples energy/vibrations and gravitated towards higher vibrations. I became more appreciative of the natural elements. Something as simple as walking barefoot on grass would make my heart sing. All of a sudden, I was no longer searching. Beautiful people, situations, opportunities were constantly appearing in my life. Instead of reacting to energy vampires and people who thrived on animosity (who will be everywhere regardless of how high your vibration is), I was able to respond and even change the energy without being affected by it. As of February 2020, I will be working a three day week, so that I can dedicate two days of the week to my personal development and spiritual growth. I want to ask if anyone has any advice, ideas, projects that they would be happy to share with each other. I'm reaching out to this forum, as I feel that we all gravitated to happiness.com for a good reason. I have some knowledge about energy healing and certain spiritual practices that I learned on my travels, that I am happy to share with you all. Is anyone interested in sharing ideas and thoughts too???... the search continues... sending love, light and blessings xxx

Hi I just joined today. I can totally relate to your experience.a bit different though, similar feelings of resentment, not being able to properly forgive him or myself and a lot of uncertainty regarding my future. I’ve found that my biggest hurdle is properly letting go and acceptance. I didn’t make a choice to leave him, although maybe I should have. And I still love him or who I thought he was. Very confused. My children are all grown up and my youngest has just moved out. I was a very young mum having had my first child at 16 yrs. . My ex partner was not the father of my children, we had been together for 15 years. Mostly very good years, I think. I was a very accommodating partner who was always available emotionally and sexually. Leading up to his cheating I had helped him to get a new job, created the best resume for him, researched the position and fully supported him with positive energy and praise. When he got the job, he was working away a lot, staying in motels and earning a lot more money than we had ever had. He grew distant and started lying about where he was, when he had to work and wouldn’t answer the phone. So I went into full on Detective mode (which is not like me) and found that he had endless online dating profiles, was a member of hookup sites and had more recently been having very young call girls (paying for sex) in his various motel rooms while he was away working. I realised the dating profiles and hookup sites were going on for over 5 years!!! I am with you on the journey of forgiving which is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to try to do. I think even harder is acceptance and not blaming myself or feeling stupid for not realising. Also feeling stupid for still loving him and not being angry, but I am just sad that I believed his words and thought he was an honest man and that he would be able to talk about this with me before he cheated. On reflection there were warning signs here as well. You’re right, it does feel better to get it all out. Here’s to acceptance, forgiveness and moving forward with happiness and self love in 2020. Good luck with everything ?

Brene Brown said "Choose courage over comfort", and that's my new year's resolution. Choose the train when the plane is more comfortable, say sorry when I could play it cool, speak up when I could look away, ... There are so many little (and big) things where we can choose, and so often the "wrong" choice is the easier one. Another resolution is it not be too hard on me. I try, I fail, I try again. I can skip the self-loathing and judgement. Oh, and in German, I want to use genderneutral language even when speaking. It's so cool and inclusive to hear people use it so naturally.

Hi everyone, I'm looking for other people’s views and advice. My girlfriend and I were supposed to be getting married in June but a couple of months before, she completely shut down (due to mental health problems) and would not speak to me about what was wrong and we argued a lot because I needed answers and she couldn’t give them to me. I tried everything, including buying a notebook for us to write our feelings down, so that we would know how the other is feeling, without it turning into an argument. But I was the only one who wrote in it and even after reading how low I was feeling, she did nothing to acknowledge it. I couldn’t speak to anyone about it as we were due to be married and I didn’t want my friends or family to have bad feelings about her, in my defence. Eventually I cancelled the wedding and had to tell people, as it was getting closer and I wasn’t sure what was going on with us. Obviously then my friends and family got angry and upset for me as they then saw how much I was suffering and knew how excited I was for the wedding and how much work I put into it. In the end, she decided to move out and get her own place, to give us some space to work things out and start fresh. Which upset me more but I agreed that we needed to do something, as nothing was changing how things were. It has now been nearly 6 months of living apart and I don’t feel anything has changed (for better or worse) I just don’t feel like I’m in a relationship anymore but she seems much happier. She says she loves me and knows that she self destructed and pushed me away but she wants to fix things but I am a very all or nothing person and feel hurt, as I feel like she ran away from our relationship and started her own life but still expects things to be the same!!! We have been together for 7 years and had been through a lot together. I just can’t understand what happened. We both suffer with mental health problems and chronic pain conditions but it seems to me that the decision she made, to move out, was putting her own needs first before our relationship. Please feel free to ask questions, as I have tried to cut a long story short. I just wanted people unbiased opinions

The title is a bit silly really, but I don't know what to call it. Of course I love my mother, but since I moved back in with her, I have struggled with my identity. Originally it was my then wife and my mother who had the idea of us living together after my late stepfather died. Financially it made sense and she could help with our son. At first it was good, but over time, I started to struggle and eventually shut down. I tried a couple of times to mention to my wife, but she was not very compassionate, I do think it was a big factor leading to our breakup. Not the only one, but a contributor. Since then I have been trying hard to not be so nasty or short tempered. But I am struggling with my own self esteem to the point where I am much happier when I'm not at home. I do love my mum, but am really struggling to live with her. I know the obvious thing would be to move out, but it's really complicated due to me having care of my son, and my mum is a great help and I couldn't do it without her for the moment. Any helpful suggestions or ideas or comments would be welcome.

This year I'm spending New Years Eve alone, and since my focus has shifted from mindless partying and drinking, I will instead sit down and work my way through this beautiful little exercise to enter the new year consciously and with new intentions. It will help me reflect on who I am, and who I'd like to be going forward. By Nedra Glover Tawwab, Boundaries expert, writer and therapist. 1. In what ways (big and small) have I grown? 2. What limiting beliefs do I need to release? 3. What stressed me out the most, and what can I do to reduce my stress in that area? 4. How will I nurture myself in 2020? 5. What do I need to make room for in 2020? 6. What habits do I want to create, break, or refresh? 7. What do I need to learn more about? 8. What boundaries do I need to implement to have healthier relationships? 9. What's one small thing I can do to change my life? Self-awareness is one of the most essential parts of growth. Who will join me in doing this exercise tonight? Happy New Year, and Happy New YOU. ✨

I suffer from vehophobia and fear of death as well as generalized anxiety disorder. Some things which do not help Being told to calm down Being told I am not being rational even if I am not being rational Suggesting I am over reacting Trying to apply logic or reason when I am in a full blown panic Condescension Being humiliated for what is something beyond my control Becoming over focussed on the object of my fear Having people shouting or applying stress to me Telling me to just buck up or act more like a man Things that help Information which I can find or have control over like myself choosing to read a book about the subject that scares me Investigating statistics and risks so that I can be more realistic Cognitive behavioral techniques A music I love Spending time with my dog Talking about unrelated pleasant things I enjoy Breathing techniques Or relaxation Crafts Art In some cases confronting the fear by pushing myself forward. This doesn't work if it isn't self motivated.

That’s fantastic, I’ve tried it before and it actually gave me more balance. It’s a small financial sacrifice but worth it for self development and growth.

Thank you for your kind response. Having the distance has given me the chance to notice what all my friends and family have always seen. That I’m the more caring, loving, supportive and generous one in the relationship and that I deserve to have to same effort put in for me. Some even think that it was an emotionally abusive relationship but I think that might be a bit excessive. I’ve always had the anxiety that, everyone that’s not family leaves and that I care more about people than they do me and she just fed into all of that! I am now taking time for self discovery with mindfulness and meditation, travelling etc... making some like minded friends and I’m feeling more at peace about everything. I hope your having a wonderful Christmas. Best wishes, Marushka

Hi Maltija. Sorry to hear about this struggle. I apologise if this post sounds blunt. It is coming from a good place and it's to stop any time wasting for you. Sounds like she has responded to commitment by running away. You can't force someone to communicate when they are struggling internally. Some mental health states make it near impossible to verbalise/write what you are feeling or thinking. When people dip really low they can get to a place where they separate from their own feelings as a defence mechanism. I know this can be hard for a partner; because you can feel helpless when you don't have what you need to help get back on track. You set up a notebook but you were the only one that used it - this should tell mass amounts about her will to invest in repairing the relationship. A relationship does not work when only one wants to work on it. I would suggest that her lack of contributing was a way of emotionally distancing herself. Telling people about the faultering relationship near the wedding date must have been incredibly difficult - and I am sorry that you had to approach that on your own. That must have been heartbreaking and you must see yourself as very brave. She made the decision to move out; she needed space. She seems to be staying at that distance - because it suits her. You can love someone but not be able to live with them. At this stage; if she is truly intent on 'fixing things' then the onus is now on her to tell you what she is prepared to do. If she has no plan/it is not convincing enough for you that you have a right not to invest anything further. And then we come to the crux of the matter. Do you know what you want from a marriage? Is she able to offer you that? Is it worth putting in more effort? How do you feel about starting again and being alone for a while to let the dust settle? Taking time now to return to a happier self really is the best thing for you. And I wish you a steady and strong recovery. So that if you choose to move on; the next woman has someone very special x

I have so many things to ask about your situation Brackers. Living with your Mum at 49 is unusual unless you have reasons you need to be there - like you are a carer etc. Some mothers take a while to recognise your adult personality and needs and this can feel like you are being pulled back into a previous state of affairs. But the core thing is ; what is it specifically about your mother/her behaviour that you are struggling with? I am trying to gauge if this is a general personality conflict or whether there are elements where it is in you/your son's best interest not to be under each other's noses. I would worry about the impact of closeted conflict on your son - kids sense these things even if not expressed. I think you need to weight up what is more important for your right now - saving money, staying in this 'comfort zone' or finding ways to save your self esteem. You don''t have to put up with any difficult behaviour and it sounds like this needs an open conversation; if that's possible? Ultimately; of talking does not work you may need to prepare an exit strategy for you and your son.

Thank you hun. Im sorry to hear that you have been in a similar situation. I hope things will get better. I am going to use this time to do some self discovery. I’m feeling at peace with it all at the moment because I know I did all I can to try to make it work and now I will see what will be. This year has been an emotional rollercoaster and I’m exhausted from it all. I don’t think I even have the energy to be upset anymore. I focus so much on trying to make everyone around me happy, that I forget to take care of myself but I have been reflecting a lot on that lately and know I need to be kinder to myself. Thank you for your time and well wishes xXx

My name is Mel. I am excited to be here and I hope that this community will help guide me on my journey. I have recently been through many years of mind games and hurt, which has crushed my soul. I am beginning a new chapter of healing and self empowerment to awaken my spirit. Too much time has been wasted. I want to learn to trust again, to find my happy place, and welcome your inspiration and stories to help me find it. ?

Hey all. Ive just joined as really like the idea of a like minded community. Been on my self healing journey for 20 years in one way or another and have had lots of different experiences and learned many things along the way. Id love to get to know people and their journies and even more so find out if there is anyone local to me! Love N ?

hi everyone, i am new to this site and trying to figure out how it works. looking to connect with like minded people. on a self discovery journey and it's been an exciting ride so far.

Welcome, @sharareh and @cazzie! Happy you found us! I think there are quite a few of us here on a self-discovery journey and how amazing would it be if we could all be there and support each other through it? ? Don't hesitate to start discussions in the forum or reach out to members in your area. If you'd like assistance on how to navigate the site, I'd be very happy to help. I wish you both the very best on your journey. ✨

I hear you. The self loathing issue is not an uncommon issue. You inspire me with your posts I hope you know.

Being conscious is to be present... to be present where? .... in senses...senses bring us to the present moment...by adoring and appreciating life, we fulfill inner self more:) greetings to everyone and happy holidays

Hello! I just signed up as well. I can totally relate to your post. Mental health in the black community is non existent. I have thankfully found people and sources that made me realize that God is inside of us not outside. I believe that love and happiness is something you have to attain through living in the present moment with gratitude. Easier said than done of course, but life is a journey we have to handle with grace. I listen to gospel songs and replace them with self loving words as well! Thank you for sharing your post! I love your authenticity! Namaste

I normally sit in meditation every day. This year in May I decided that I am a westerner and as much as I am a yoga teacher I do not have to sit crossed legs when I meditate. I now sit comfortably on a chair with my feet well grounded on the floor. This was one of the best decision of this year. I find that my practice got better, I find it easier to concentrate, connect with my breath and in general be more mindful. Maybe is just a self-convincing strategy. Whatever the case, it works and that's all that counts.

Greetings Happiness Friends: Starting 12/14/2019 please offer your 12 days of Mindful Happiness. You can do 1 each day or compile a list for 12 days, either way you will feel good! This is a way to reduce our holiday stress and do some self care/love. So join in....will expire 12/25/19! Be mindful, b happy,