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My name is Jeremy. 40 years old. I have a 10-year-old daughter that means the world to me. After two long-term relationships, spanning half my life, I found myself feeling lost and unsure of who I was anymore. So many years spent trying to be somebody I'm not for usually the wrong reasons, had left me seeking the truth. I've always felt a little different and out of place. This strange feeling that I'm here for a greater purpose, but no idea what that is. One thing I know for sure is that I'm not here to hurt anybody or spread negativity. Actually I believe it's the opposite. I believe I'm here to help people and spread love and kindness. Shine a little light into the world.

hello all ! i met someone over two years ago. before even noticing physical attribute i fell in love with his energy as soon as he sat dowm before me . it was like a vortex of familar energy calm but strong it settled me down almost putting me to sleep. once i saw the face to the energy it was unbelievable he was like something i dreamed into the world . every time my roommate would bring him by the instant we locked eyes it was intense and overwhelming we would just stare for a second as time went on I noticed a push-pull dynamic there were brief periods where he would be in and out of my life we would play The blocking unblocking game on Facebook mainly me in the start I always sensed he would come back I always trust that he would be back when he did leave for short periods of time out of my life during those times I felt anxiety and missed him we weren't really close friends at the start but I felt like I known him my whole life and maybe lifetimes before I never read about twin flames or soul mates during our separation I would read up you know trying to put in my symptoms of our connection and twin flame came up it seemed like the perfect description of what was going on. anyway I recall a time where we sat down in my bedroom and I felt this heavy energy around us it was almost like falling into a vortex and it was strange I remember hearing something outside of my mind saying I known you four lifetimes or something along those lines I can't remember exactly what it was was almost like I went into a deep meditation for a second and I have no recollection but I'm glad it was just intense energy imagine The vortex around us things will fall over for the following weeks there's lots of energy high vibrations I just recall him making me like so happy I knew I could trust him I knew when we would fight it was coming out of a place of love and it's more like constructive criticism we didn't talk much but it was like me to look at each other and we just know what was going on she said to me before I know you better than you can imagine which is strange because you know we never really spoke. I remember first in the beginning I picked him up from his home and as soon as I got in the car I felt the Simpson pieces usual almost onto meditative state I'm a thought crossed my mind saying you feel like home I have no clue what the word home men and apparently walked eyes he was staring at me through the rearview mirror. as a relationship got stronger the energy got more and more it's like I just knew him so well without actually knowing him she would always come around at the right times he would always answer my messages when he did it's like he knew what was going on with me there were times where I knew it was going to run with him I would sit there be like he's making coffee and I would message him he could home you know sitting by the coffee maker there were signs from the universe almost as if the universe is writing to me and bold italics like like home there are times where he would say I'm not home right now or you know I don't feel at home and I would feel a sense of I love you I'm associated with that word that's at the universe word in bold italics you would leave items to my house and it's almost a bold italic moment of I'll be back in always to come back we have similar personalities but the same time very Jane Yang push and pull type of personalities movie with this degree we would just agree he had qualities lilacs I had qualities that he lacks only had say mirror in qualities but they said it always came from a place of he cared I was in an abusive relationship at the time I met him and then he abusive relationships we both were on drug addicts once I met him my life started clearing up it became clear to me I needed help the idea of maybe a life with him in the future cat crossing my mind and you know that wasn't the right reason to go to rehab about a year or year-and-a-half later I can go to rehab we hung with the same circlebut I felt like I know him I whole life I may be like times before I never read about since lanes or soulmates during our separation I would read up yo trying to put in my symptoms of our connection and twin flame came up its seem like the perfect description of what was going on. anyway I recall a time where we sat down and my bedroom and I felt the heavy energy around us it was almost like falling into vortex and it was strange the I remember hearing something outside of my minds saying I know you for lifetimes or something along those lines I can't remember exactly what it was theirs almost like I went into meditative state when receiving these messages . I would receive these messages often when with him . There was a time I drove to pick him up and the minute he got into the car and instantly felt at peace as usual and a thought came outta no where almost like a loud o feel at home . I didn't get recoginize the meaning of home in twin flame relationship at the time . About a month in my energy was going hay wire things were falling off the walls and at times when we walk together it was like a magnetic pull toward each other . Symbols became almost metaphor or a secret language like home when used between us vibrated with I love you and car became a symbol I have no clue what that symbolized but he would see a car and say that's beautiful almost as I'd speaking to me directly or he would tell me what needed to be fixed with his car like it needed fuel and I would be hungry or it would be overheating or he'd tell a about about a car and I'd be dehydrated almost as if speaking to me . Me and him both struggle with addiction I was in a abusive relationship (now my ex boyfriend) at the time my boyfriend father of our son was natrually insecure around him and I spent most time with other men . He would act weird and intimidated even though there was nothing pervceivable being done . I could tell at glance what he was thinking about other people or situations around us he would make a joke that sounded like normal but it was funny to us . Once he entered my life changes started happening rapidly for the betterment of my life and spiritually development . People who were not true to me disappeared . People didn't like us together they would instantly get defensive (those who weren't good for me or him ) . I lost people i ended up getting evicted he never would give me easy advice or baby me he would make sure I got the lesson or overcame a struggle . My child got taken temporary I lost my home my belongings and at some point my mind . Between the drugs and the situations things got what seemed like worse at the time...and I wanted to give up. He literally was the only person who could cheer me up or I could trust . Looking back I now discovered a pattern of codependent nature of me so there was a lesson In that. Eventually his finances and his car became a struggle he started going down hill to and our connection became strained both feeling negative energy and emotions. It was harder and harder to see each other every time we would make plans the oddest thing would happen as if preventing us the universe itself . I started to not understand him as much . We did have sex once and my intuition became so strong and my sense of him that and the drugs did not Mix with that almost causing a pshychosis because my vibration and the messages were in mean spirit . We became more and more distant after . I remember knowing a immense separatation was going to occur . He started seeing someone as I was off and on with my boyfriend at the time and he never really spoke about her . He became distant . I have no clue if he knew all these things were happening on. Concious level like I did. He did aknowledge once or twice he knew me better then I thought or he would somehow know what was going on iny life and would tell me things about how I needed to do something in order to better my life . I was so sure god meant for us to be but the signs stop coming the connection stopped. I stopped feeling his energy I almost forgot who he was as a person . He started avoiding me Eventually rehab was my only choice I departed for flordia two months ago . We spoke the whole way there now I am in halfway and loving being sober I still discover little lessons in ur relationship daily and no matter what I can't seem to forget him or worry I can sense his energy mildly and he went of the grid. He won't text back old friends who were in our circle can't get him on text or social media which gives me hope he to has let go of that life . He was only using with me at the time I was his main source and he was mine. It did become toxic in that sense . I just hope we're in separation and that I wasn't crazy and god has a plan for us . I know deep down he loved me and I know with each and more clear day and clarity what I felt was real but now I question it. The obsession is lifting but I can't forget him or thank him enough for all he did for me and my growth spiritually and as a individual . He did ask my friends how I was doing at rehab so he did care but the silence makes me feel like we never had anything and it was in my head when I get to dount I have no I'll will towards him it's a unconditoonal love . There are sonsa I listen to that he used to play in the car that was almost like he was speaking to me . We had common music tastes and personality wise he has qualites I didn't and I had quality he didn't but much alike emotionally and on th same journey's .same things happening around the same time. Qualites that clashed and ones that mended and coincided. Ones he pointed out in me that he also had but wasn't aware once that started happening that's when tension and resentment arose when we would give eachother honest cristicism about parts we couldn't see In ourself . Shared the same mental health issues depression . Bipolar ect. I almost could read his mind I knew when he was gonna text me or knew he was drinking coffee id wonder what he was doing and bang he would text me saying having coffee almost as if the universe was verifying I wasn't crazy . When I'd pick him I could feel my energy briding to his house . Before the separation I would drive to our friends around the corner and I'd hear loud as say vibrations of distress getting louder as you'd get closer . Could be insanity but I was the most magical intense relationship and beneficial to spirtial growth i ever found in any connection . I'm sad it's no longer I always imagined us healthy sober and clear . The times we were well slept and properly caring for ourselves we were perfect and understanding of one another up until a drug would enter our bodies then it went well to hell ..I'm not fully understanding this relationship or twin flames soulmates ecr so any advice input ect. This distance pulls at my heart more then my mind but keeps me motivated but it hurts .trying to let go is easy. Moving on isn't something I'm trying to do I need to focus on me and my recovery just for today but anytime a male comes in or I get an attraction god takes them out of my way . All advice welcome Thanks for helping me clear this . Namaste

Step 1. RECOGNISE the pattern/s you have. *From 'Loving Relationships' by Sondra Ray Pattern 1: Since you established your first relationship with your parents, you tend to recreate their personalities as closely as possible in your other relationships. Pattern 2: You will tend to recreate the kind of relationships you had with your parents in your other relationships. Pattern 3: You will tend to copy the relationships your parents had with each other. *Note: I also think you try to avoid the type of relationship your parents had with each other. Pattern 4: Since most of us are used to a heavy dose of parental disapproval, we will tend to create upsets that will make our 'parents' disapprove of us. Pattern 5: You will tend to get even with your parents by using your mate or another. If your mate won't allow this, you might use your children. Pattern 6: Most people subconsciously want to remain helpless children all their lives. A conflict can occur when each wants to be a child and each wants the other to be his/her parent. Pattern 7: Since most people are used to the struggle they had with their parents, having a totally successful, easy, smooth relationship is too unfamiliar and too threatening to tolerate. Pattern 8: Suppressed incest always stands in the way of sexual affection. The point at which you could not acknowledge sexual feelings for your parents (or they for you) is the point where your sexuality becomes inhibited. *Note: personally, this one [8] challenges me and makes me feel uncomfortable; please remember I'm putting down what's in the book. Pattern 9: Because of self-hate and self-guilt, there is a tendency to beat yourself up using one of the following: your body, your sex life, your career, your finances, your material possessions. Therefore a). there is a tendency to mess up one or more of these relationships to punish yourself, and b). the guilt and self-hate can go all the way to thinking you separated yourself from God (or whatever universal power you choose) by taking on a body, thinking you are bad because you caused your mother pain at birth. Pattern 10: You will attract someone who fits your patterns. That is if you have a patterns that says "Men leave me", then you will attract a man who has a pattern of leaving. Any thoughts?

It hard to expand on it. But I went through the similar situation. It been six years since the marriage ended and I have had 2 other partners since then. Looking back at it and asking the questions why. My conclusion is no one is perfect but if we don't take active steps in learning how to fill our own cup we will always expect someone or something to fill that cup to fulfil us. You owe it to yourself to live each day fully. To know who you are, what your purpose is and who you aspire to be in order to be the best version of yourself. I feel we need to work on our issues to resolve them before entering relationships work on improving and fixing you mentally physically spiritually and everything will change for you in a positive way.

I've just read a lovely piece on the struggle of emptiness when it arises and what one can do to overcome it. The first recommendation is to acknowledge the emptiness, as by doing so, you can see it for what it is. A few questions to ask oneself when you feel empty: Do I tell myself positive things? Am I judging myself or comparing myself to others? Am I actively tending to my physical and health needs? Have I turned towards behaviours or addictions to avoid my feelings? Are my feelings being considered in my relationships, or am I minimising what I'm feeling? Am I blaming myself or feeling guilty for things beyond my control? Am I showing myself compassion as I would with a friend or family member? Am I asserting myself in my decisions and respecting my personal opinions? Other tips include finding things to be grateful for, spending time in nature, doing something you love, helping someone else, going to sleep and trying again tomorrow. I loved this article because it reminded me that it's totally ok to have down days, and sleeping on it doesn't necessarily mean giving up. For anyone battling emptiness every now and then, remember you're not alone, and it will pass. A super quote I just read: "Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end" - John Lennon. Here's the link to the full article: https://weallneedhope.com/battling-emptiness-7-tips-for-when-you-feel-empty/ And to delve a little deeper, some more great advice on the topic can be found here. Does anyone else have tips and go-to's to share on how they overcome the feeling of emptiness?

Yeah, I think the article was referring to relationships in general (with friends and family), not romantic relationships only ☺️ @Calvin77 I have knee issues too and it's definitely impacting my overall level of happiness because I'm meant to be training for a half marathon, but it's sometimes too painful to run! So I feel you on that one.

I agree that our health is definitely something that has a big impact on our happiness, and perhaps relationships in the broader term too. Not necessarily just romantic relationships, but friendships, and a close relation to family members for example.

Hi Joyce. Welcome to the happiness community ? In my opinion, positive advice, support and a shoulder to cry on is PLENTY. Many people don't have that in their family relationships, and I hope and am sure your children greatly appreciate that in you.

This week's topic is "Stressful Communications: Interpersonal Mindfulness". As the different types of formal practices are discussed already in the earlier week, where you are also welcome to share this week's experiences with them, this weeks forum entry is about the informal practice, the communication calendar. As we practise applying the skills we are learning in this course to our everyday lives; we are cultivating our natural capacities to be more flexible and to recover more quickly during challenging interpersonal situations. As we grow our awareness of emotions, we may better understand the messages we are sending to others and receiving from others and the barriers to being with ourselves and others in heartfelt and authentic ways. “Once you can communicate with yourself, you’ll be able to communicate outwardly with more clarity.” Thich Nhat Hanh Psychological stress arises from the interaction between us and the world, so we need to take responsibility for our part in relationships with people who “cause us stress” By this, we mean taking responsibility for our perceptions, thoughts, emotions and behaviours. If we react unconsciously when we are having a problem with another person, just as with other forms of stress, this usually makes matters worse in the long run. One of the most useful insights was reading myself when I was about to shut down in a conversation. These days I feel my chest getting tighter, and I become aware that I am no longer listening with an open heart but that I start feeling attacked and I am putting my armour up which will not allow the conversation to come to a satisfying result as I do not hear the other person anymore. Depending on the situation I might take a deep breath and open up again, or I'll explain that I am closing up and need a pause, sometimes I'll excuse myself to the bathroom for a bit to reconsider. If I get to walk the dog for an hour through the forest that's best but that's not always possible. It can also be helpful to repeat what I understood that the other person said in my own words, so we are both sure to talk about the same thing. This shows the other person I am listening and gives us both a chance to be clear about what we are talking about to avoid misunderstandings and assumptions. Have you noticed any changes in how you are communicating with people since you started this course? What have you noticed?

I read this article on age-gap friendships, and I thought it was really interesting. I never even thought of it as a friendship for some reason, but I'm super close with my mom and love spending time with her. We are very similar (only 30 years apart ) and have so much fun together. Most of my closest friends are people I went to school or uni with, so we're of similar age. Is there an age-gap in many of your closest friendships? Do you enjoy spending time with people much older or much younger than you? Do you think it's more difficult to have a relationship with a person much older/younger?

Hi Ali, I think, that being in a depression has no benefit at all. As the eclectic Mom above said: It sucks the life out of you. What can be or is beneficial for a person, is the emotional intelligence that one can gain when gotten over a depression. Understanding and listenting to others worries and sufferings is a great tool for making our relationships more deep and meaningful.

Deffo agree with @Purr regards to health, both mental and physical. I've had issues with anxiety and panic attacks which really got me down for a while. And now I have some problems with a bad knee and ankle which has been impacting on happiness, as I love to do lots of walking and hiking and have been limited because of my injury! Grr! Also as @Bethnicles points out from the study, relationships are also key. I love being around the people that make me happy. I'd also add purpose/meaning to that list of things that are essential for happiness and well-being. I feel better when I know I am achieving something useful

"Contentment gives real happiness. Happiness is a temporary "high", whereas contentment is a longer lasting, deeper feeling of satisfaction and gratitude for spiritual blessings and relationships." Do you agree with this phrase? Please share with me your thoughts...

A new study has found that good mental health and being in a relationship make people happier than doubling their salaries. ? Depression and anxiety were the hardest issues people in the study lived with, but being in a relationship saw the biggest increase in the happiness of those living with these dis-eases. This tells me that the things that matter most for our happiness and overall wellbeing, as well as for our misery, are our social relationships and our mental health. What do you think?