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I think a lot of people might feel like they're not ready to do all the work it takes for self development. It can perhaps appear a bit daunting? Or like it's going to be too much effort. We have lots of interesting articles in the Magazine, and some courses in the Academy that might be interesting on this topic!

Hi everyone, I'm a new member, a 45 year old, married mother of 2 teens. I'm here looking to broaden my mind by hopefully meeting new like minded people, my interests are mainly self development, I believe in continuous learning alternative ways of doing a lot of other things in the life journey. Kind Regards Portia

My input is not really on night routine, but some basic learning I made in regards to quality sleep. I bought an https://ouraring.com/ a few years ago to measure and improve my sleep. For me it was really insightful and has definitely added to some healthier routines: In general I aim to go to bed at similar times and not too far off the natural daylight rhythms, also always have 8+ hours of bedtime. I changed all my screens to suppress blue lights after 8pm to not mess with melatonin production, which is important to become sleepy and not wake up much Alcohol has a big impact on the resting heart rate. Even one beer an hour before bed takes a few hours of increased heart activity before the alcohol is washed out of the blood. So I only drink when i really feel like it. I usually don't eat after 8 or 9pm so that the digestive system is not busy processing the meal in the first hours of sleep. Late meals have a impact on the resting heart rate in the first hour of sleep, this is usually the time of deep sleep. If possible I try to do sport a few times a week or at least do something like 10.000 steps per day, because physical activity during the day improves the deep sleep. On one point I tried using non psychoactive CBD-oil drops to calm me down before bed-time. I thought they were helpful. I keep the bedroom as tidy as possible. They say the less things you have in there and the more orderly it is, the better for your sleep. I also often air my room for 15 minutes before going to bed to ensure amply oxygen supply during the night. We live in a noisy neighborhood, so I tried a white-noise (which is supposed to improve sleep) or ambient sounds sounds during the night. Didn't feel a strong difference though and it hasn't become part of my routine. When I have trouble falling asleep or unwinding, I often to deep diaphragmatic breathing. Box breathing (4-5 second in, 4-5 second retain, 4-5 second out, 4-5 second retain, etc.) is also really helpful for calming the heart which then calms the mind. Lastly I recently learned that the gut health is very important for good sleep. As mentioned in my post here taking care of your microbiome has a very big impact on your sleep. As you can tell, I spent a lot of time on this subject But I have to say it was totally worth it. While I can become quite passionate at times, it is definitely not one of these never ending self improvement obsessions, but just a form of self care. Sleep is tremendously important for the brain and has one of the biggest impacts on our happiness. I think continuously learning and experimenting on this subject is really beneficial for my overall well-being. I hope my findings can help you too ?

Every problem starts from inside and then it enters our outer world but most of us think, it’s just the opposite of that. We have to understand how thoughts work and how it affects our life. Once we know how impactful is our thoughts, we will never underestimate it and we will be watchful about it. Meditation is helpful to have control over your thoughts and I will share my experience about how I started meditation, what is the benefit I am receiving from it, and will tell how by getting accord with inner self will help you to change the outer world. Following are the few of many things that happened to me: – read full article

Congratulation that even on these days, when it's the hardest you did sit. That's a big accomplishment. The stress engine is running and while if sitting is hard our body and mind recognize the break and it's an amazing moment of self-care which is paying off at every moment of you day to come.

I was there in the first 2 days and had a very good time. Seeing people's interest in happiness.com and getting to know many different people were so fulfilling. A session I attended was very interesting for me, NSR Self-Healing with Sebastian C.O. He showed Self Neuro Somatic Reprogramming techniques to reduce pain. I agree with Tine about the free stage. It was a great touch and was my favourite. Seeing people get carried away at one of the concerts was extremely heartwarming. I could feel the community connection there. Besides that, I also heard comments about the community bond from the people I talked to. It's very impressing that the event created such an international community! I'm newly becoming a "yoga person", meaning that I'm a total beginner both of yoga and it's culture. I've always had been into sports and attending tournaments and loved the rush of those environments. The yoga conference reminded me of those environments, but a more mindful version of them. I wasn't expecting to feel that the conference environment resonates with me this much.

Between the anxiety and self loathing I endure,I also have ADHD. But I keep fighting myself,I sometimes loose..I'm a lover of good people and am trying to learn to paramotor.but the cashflow doesn't help.

What is it that prevents us from finding happiness? Is it not the ever lasting 'effort' to find & seek that eludes the happiness we so desperately desire. Don't we find it when we are alone, perhaps near a beach or on top of a mountain.... Could it be that happiness was always within our grasp? The beach, the mountain or the solitude....,they all paved the way for it to emerge. Isn't it true that in all these we have let go, we have let go the effort. The effort to find and seek. We were just there. Thinking about nothing. Effortlessly present with inner stillness. Isn't it our thoughts that hides our true sense, our true self, which is always happy. How wonderful, How liberating would it be to truly experience this profound, effortless inner stillness... For a moment, for a second, for an hour, for eternity.... Visit: www.nisala.org/webinars

Great topic! What makes me happy is always the same and of course much needed in this challenging times. I love to read, go on walks, enjoy the scenery, look up positive and Uplifting things, ??, and of course surrounding myself around positive people. I hope you find your happiness. Sit back and reflect. Self Care is often overlooked. Love yourself!

I experienced that sitting meditation does not bring up as much distracting/distressing sensations compared to what I experienced in the body scan. While I found that I enjoyed practicing self-guided body scan meditation more, I found that the guided sitting meditations were more useful. I liked that the cues and prompts from the videos guided me back to my breath and gave assurances if I was drifting off. It provided positive assurances while I would have likely scolded myself. So far, I've been really surprised at myself for practicing diligently. I'm enjoying the course so far.

Loving Kindness practice is one of my favourites - I have used this before and it really hits home the power of wishing everyone loving kindness, even the people you may struggle with or who have upset you. I feel wonderful to include the people that I love but to those that may have stung me it does put into perspective that maybe they have been stung! And they need the love and kindness just as much. Also just as important is your self - to give is a wonderful thing so why should you not give love and kindness to yourself. The small things are the big things which is why I believe these words of loving kindness which can seem small at at the time can actually have a huge impact on your well being.

@ias206 Thank you for the level of insight. What you write resonates with me as I find myself in similar situations. What I hear is the struggle between different forms of self-care, and this is something we can only answer for ourselves. So my "advice" is to continue investigating and trying things out. Each day and each week are different, and we are different, so the best way is to try, learn and understand better. My personal rule of thumb is "the more my thoughts try to reason me out of doing something, the more important it is for me to stick with it". As Jon Kabat-Zinn says "you are the expert for yourself". You wrote that you are keeping with it for now and I am curious to hear how that went. ?

I like that this topic has led to a discussion Well, in my opinion, the emotion of gratitude is also derived from love. I give an example to show my point of view. You might be grateful for owning a new phone that you bought recently. But think about why you appreciate a new mobile device. You might want more stable and clearer video calls with your friends and loved ones. Such video calls are in fact expressions of love. Or you might want to be able to play more resource-intensive games. I actually see gaming as a way of expressing self-love; after all, you appreciate yourself for your skills. This is almost what I wrote before, but try to think of something that you are grateful for, that doesn't have its roots in love.

Hi Tyrell just wanted to say that you matter, you are special and you are not alone! When I am feeling anxious I like to plan a hiking or an outdoor activity, connecting with nature really bring me peace and root me again! Also I love cooking so making a special dinner just for myself is my way of self care! Always look inside, yoga and meditation, listen to calm music, write a journal and express what are you feeling at the moment! just express yourself and let it all out

I'm a registered dietitian nutritionist and wanted to add to the mindful eating resources shared in Week 1. Intuitive eating is a concept that is gaining more popularity in the dietetics field, and it's an eating framework that I follow myself. It is different than mindful eating in that mindful eating is a part of intuitive eating. In other words, intuitive eating encompasses mindful eating and then expands into other principles. I like to describe intuitive eating as a self-care framework for eating that rejects the diet mentality and honors your hunger and emotions with gentle nutrition, discovering satisfaction with food, and joyful movement. The most recent edition of the original intuitive eating book is out, and there are also workbooks for adults and teens. Here's a link for more information: https://www.intuitiveeating.org/

@Danica2020 Thank you for adding that. I haven't looked deeper into it yet, but it already resonates. One of the most hands-on (or hands-off for that matter) learnings through MBSR for me was related to eating. Listening to my own needs and not mistaking the need for a break for hunger as I used to, not mistaking thirst for hunger. Not mistaking the need for self-care for hunger, not trying to ease stress through eating. As the amount of food I consumed did shrink, I also got more conscious about what, when and how much I eat to be fully satisfied. I'll take a closer look into intuitive eating. :-)

Time and again people are seeking happiness outside of them. Always in the pursuit of happiness, from people, things, luxuries, travel, etc. So where does the real happiness lie? Have you pondered or are you seeking happiness? Well after lot of dwelling and seeking happiness outside, I finally realized happiness lies within. So does knowing happiness lies within help us be happy??? What do you think? Well knowing, believing and actually practicing are 3 different things. We often know lot of things; that we have learnt from people, books videos, etc.; we believe in things that we have dealt and experienced in the past, but when it comes to practice it daily, well very few do it diligently. It's all in the daily practice, that we can experience happiness. Happiness is the self realization journey from receiving to giving. From childhood, we keep receiving things, from food, shelter, love, education, luxurious items, etc. from our family/ closed ones. And here forms the pattern of receiving and we feel entitled for all that we have received. But as you move from this phase of young kid, teenager to adult your role switches from receiver to giver. But how natural is this process of giving? While some may be givers right from their childhood, there are others who seldom move from receiver to giver. It is this pattern of receiving that creates unhappiness and people are often in the pursuit of happiness; not realizing that happiness lies within and when you give be it food, love, time, small or big things, etc. that sense of satisfaction gives immense joy and happiness which you never experience when you are a receiver. The happiness is momentary and last until you receive something more, little more and more and more. And this thirst of receiving doesn't get quenched with more but increase further. How how does one move from being a receive to giver - Rather than waiting for being happy, make others happy; - Rather than waiting to receive food, make food - Rather than waiting for appreciation, you appreciate. Take these steps of kindness each day, to be a happier and joyful you. So will you take the leap from being a receiver to giver?

@Tine Below are some reference on Chan practices: A simple introduction - https://www.ddmbachicago.org/chan/zen/ The methods: - https://www.ddmbachicago.org/chan/methods/silentillumination/ - https://www.ddmbachicago.org/chan/methods/hua-tou/ Personally my practice is more towards the Silent Illumination these days. The second method can be quite explosive and hence would be more appropriate during a retreat. However I did benefited from casual self-reflecting incidents that draw similarities to Hua Tou, literally "the head of the word or word head", which means "the mind before the thought". Interesting sessions below: Silent Illumination Introduction - by Dr. Simon Child, a Chan Teacher and Dharma Heir of Master Sheng Yen - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHp385ZUCsg Dharma Talk by Ven. Guo Yuan - Silent Illumination and Huatou, skipped to 56 mins https://youtu.be/ZbW8pLGXHFc?t=3404 Ha..ha.. FULLY agree! The easy ones are the toughest ones to explain.. It was said Chan is not established on words, yet had the most words to explain it; only the traveler knows the journey.

I can't release all my true self，Sometimes I can't understand what I do.My boyfriend is kind to me, but sometimes I don't like his words and actions.I'm even avoiding him now, and I don't know how to get along with him.

The second questionnaire in our "Happiness at Work" series is all about motivation and Self-determination Theory. (The first questionnaire was about "Stress at Work") Take the "Motivation at Work" questionnaire and let us know what you think about the result. How well are the areas of competence, relatedness and autonomy developed in your case? Can you define critical areas and how to improve them? How do you nurture and support the areas that work well?

Hi, This lockdown is irrational..... Before, people used to lead chaotic lives. Now they are locked inside..... In Romania, you need to sign a declaration wherever you go (even if you go and buy clothes you need....) Authorities might consider you do not need them.... You are not allowed in parks and public gardens.... I mean if you don't have your own garden, you are locked inside..... I understand about big crowd events, about schools but NATURE..... It boosts immunity! Why do we fear this virus so much? We'd better CREATE IMMUNITY - Self isolation is ok. Distancing But still, basic needs are up to us to be decided! Agree?

whenever you feel lonely think that you are alone and not lonely. Being alone is like having interactions with your ownself. It's very important to have time for your own self so utilise this time doing things which you couldn't do due to lack of time. Sometimes even if you have people around still you feel lonely. So this feeling of loneliness can be dealt by shifting this feel to the feeling of being alone. Now when you alone it's only you and you your boss. You the leader so do whatever makes you happy. No restrictions and it's a free spirit. Have some fun music.. Dance... Act funny etc. Loneliness is very important to be your ownself.

Today is the last day of my 4th week. I want to share with all a part of my Mid-way Self -Assessment, on the specific incident that stands out in my life related to work in this course. It was one night that I was going through the pain in my cuff muscle and feeling cold and finding difficulty in getting sleep. My sweetheart asked me if I need anything. She went to the kitchen and brought the hot waterbag filled and placed on my feet. It gave me such a relief, it warms my body, the pain seems to slowly go away and I went to sleep in no time. Next morning at breakfast I said ‘Thank you’ to her, sincerely looking at her eye. Her eye immediately got filled with tears. This emotional experience and reaction made me realise the appreciation & gratitude people deserves for the extra mile service they have done towards me. I have learned to practice more showing kindness and compassion with this course so far. I’m so happy about big changes happening in my life.

I would tend to associate this "knowing" with the 'I' or self being involved; like having a thought that I know the thought is going on or had gone past. Seeing would be more of a light that shines onto this thought process, which surfaced the thought through a pure awareness. Shining a light casts a shadow, hence the awareness is immediate without thinking and yet able to see the shadow. When there is no object (e.g. thoughts), there will be no shadow. I'm having fun here.. ?

If I were to word what is Self-Compassion, it would be "it's ok to be not ok". When we developed the clarity to see "all of ourselves", whether good or bad, in a non-judgemental way, we'll realized we are actually beautiful inside.