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Enjoying a siesta was once thought of as a sign of laziness. But, as Dee Marques explains, the science-backed benefits of cat naps are potent – from reduced blood pressure to improved memory and concentration. Here are five reasons why it's great to get some extra shut-eye... Cat nap, siesta, power nap, micro-sleep… whatever we call it, taking a short nap during the day has been part of many cultures for thousands of years. And yet it seems that this habit is becoming less popular as time goes by, even in cultures that traditionally embraced it. This may be due to misconceptions about what a cat nap is and what it can really do for us. We’ve become used to thinking that we need to be doing something every minute of the waking day in order to feel productive. There’s also some negative connotation to the idea of sleeping during the day, as if it was indicative of laziness. I was under this impression myself for many years, resorting to a strong cup of coffee after lunch to keep me going. Then I got in touch with my Mediterranean origins and realized that taking a short cat nap can be much more beneficial than relying on a shot or two of caffeine! Super siesta: the benefits of cat napping are real Indeed, now I see a cat napping as a way of prioritizing my health and recouping energy to carry on with my day. Since the start of the COVID pandemic, self-care is more important than ever. Many people are feeling low in energy, mentally exhausted, and struggling with depression and anxiety, so taking a cat nap can be a precious break from bad news and stress. And, post-pandemic, if you’re now currently working from home, you may have the best opportunity to try a cat nap and feel its benefits. But first, let’s clear up some misunderstandings surrounding cat naps. So, what exactly is a cat nap? A cat nap or siesta is a short period of sleep that takes place during the day. But how short exactly? That’s a tricky question to answer, and the truth is that there isn’t a single valid answer. Before we get into that, it’s important to mention that duration matters: if a cat nap is too short, it won’t make any difference, and if it’s too long, it can be counterproductive and make you feel tired, or interfere with night-time sleep. RELATED: How to Do Yoga Nidra For Sleep: 4 Steps and Script For an adult, a cat nap should ideally last between 10 and 20 minutes. Younger adults (in their 20s) can nap for longer without feeling groggy afterwards, and, in general, the older you get, the shorter the cat naps you’ll need. But will just a few minutes really make a difference to how you feel? Well, a 2017 study compared naps lasting anything from 5 to 30 minutes and assessed alertness levels upon waking up. Naps lasting 10 minutes were the most beneficial because they were short (or long) enough to get into Stage 2 sleep, where the body is at rest but doesn’t get into deep sleep, from which it would be harder to wake up. “One study found that cat napping once or twice a week gave the benefit of lowering the risk of stroke, heart failure and heart attack by 48 per cent.” The time at which you have a cat nap is also important. Our bodies have a stronger biological need to take a rest between 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. This midday sleepiness is built into our biological clocks. The circadian rhythms cause the body’s energy levels to dip in the mid-afternoon along with a surge in adenosine, one of the compounds that control the sleep-wake cycle. Not only that, but taking a cat nap later than 3 p.m. can make it hard to fall asleep when you go to bed at night. So, what’s the latest you should take a siesta? That depends on your schedule, but ideally plan to wake up from a nap at least 3 – 4 hours before your usual bedtime, or half-way between waking and sleeping. MORE LIKE THIS: Can't sleep? 14 fixes to get a good night's rest Deep sleep meditation – the benefits you can take to bed Feel stress-free fast – 11 science-backed techniques And while we’re at it, do cats have anything to do with all this? Actually, they do. If you’re a kitty lover, you’ll probably know that felines love their siestas. On an average day, a cat can sleep for 15 hours through a mix of nightly rest and daytime naps. The expression 'cat nap' itself seems to have been in use since the early 19th century. Five benefits of cat napping Taking a cat nap at the right time of the day and for the right duration can benefit your physical and mental health. Here are five examples: 1. Lower blood pressure A study of 212 adults carried out in Greece found a correlation between napping and systolic blood pressure drops, an average of 3mm Hg for each hour of sleep. According to the authors of the study, these drops in blood pressure are similar to the reductions seen in people that make healthy lifestyle changes or use some medications. These results are interesting because a drop in blood pressure by as little as 2mmHg can reduce the risk of cardiovascular events by up to 10 per cent. 2. A lower risk of heart disease Keeping blood pressure within a normal range lowers the risk of developing heart disease. One study found that cat napping once or twice a week gave the benefit of lowering the risk of stroke, heart failure and heart attack by 48 per cent. Interestingly, these benefits were no longer visible for those who napped more often – six or seven times a week. However, the duration of the cat nap did not seem to make a difference. The five-year study enrolled almost 3,500 people who had no history of cardiovascular disease. Cat naps can reduce blood pressure shutterstock/George Rudy 3. Better concentration It may seem contradictory, but we need to sleep to feel more awake. Napping gives your brain the ability to recoup energy and keep its cognitive skills sharp. Research has been done in professions where alertness and concentration are crucial (like airplane pilots), and the findings show that naps can reduce fatigue and increase focus. 4. Improved memory Researchers from Saarland University in Germany compared nappers and non-nappers and found that those who cat napped did five times better in memory tests. They hypothesised that naps impact the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for long-term memory. 5. Better control over emotions Researchers have found that an afternoon cat nap can improve emotional regulation and make us more resilient to negative emotions. For example, a 2015 study found that people who napped had more tolerance to frustration, and concluded that a midday rest is an efficient way of countering a build-up of alertness that can put us on edge. Tips to help you cat nap For a cat nap to work and have a beneficial impact on health, it’s important to get it right. Here are some suggestions that can help: Find a quiet place It’s hard for the body and brain to unwind enough to fall asleep in noisy environments. If you can’t block out all noise, play some relaxing sounds (like rain sounds or white noise) for the duration of the nap. Keep it dark Exposure to light keeps us awake, so draw the curtains, lower the blinds, turn the lights off, or use an eye mask. Set an alarm Once you’re comfy in bed or the sofa, it may be hard to get up. Set an alarm to make sure you don’t overdo the cat nap. Learn to 'shut off' Taking a cat nap isn’t an excuse to go over worries or things you need to do next. If you find it hard to shut off, it may be useful to do a short relaxation or meditation exercise before your scheduled nap time. Be consistent Like all habits, napping is something that needs to be worked on for a while until the body gets used to it. Schedule naps in your day and stick to the schedule. If you wait until the time is right, naps may never happen! Takeaway: cat naps can be good for you Taking a short siesta or cat nap isn’t a sign of laziness. If anything, it can be a great investment in your health and help you face the rest of the day with higher energy levels and a better mood. So, if you are lucky enough to be able to squeeze a cat nap into your daily routine, do it! • Main image: shutterstock/Kosim Shukurov happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Healthy habits | Better sleep | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

If you have trouble drifting off at night, these 14 sleep hacks from Dee Marques will help you on the way to the land of nod more easily. Tossing and turning will soon be a thing of the past... Sleep problems can be incredibly disruptive to daytime activities and have a negative impact on our health and happiness. But, fortunately, if you can't rest well on a regular basis, there are many sleep hacks you can put into practice to improve the quality of your rest time. Some sleep problems are typically associated with the aging process. Older adults often report that both the quality and quantity of their sleep is affected. They become more sensitive to their environment, are more likely to take medication that interferes with sleep, and more likely to experience other age-related conditions, such as producing less melatonin, the hormone responsible for regulating sleep. RELATED: How to Do Yoga Nidra For Sleep: 4 Steps and Script Other common problems include insomnia, multiple waking during the night, restless leg syndrome, and a reduction in the total number of sleep hours, as well as sleep apnea, whereby breathing gets blocked during sleep. 14 sleep hacks for a good night's rest Developing better sleep has a positive effect on our health, and scientific studies prove that some age-related conditions improve when we get enough restful sleep. Indeed, this is the case of inflammation, heart disease, and depression. RELATED: How to Stop Thinking About Something: 9 Strategies There’s also a direct link between sleep and cognitive function, as older adults with sleep problems report poor memory, attention span issues, and higher stress levels. By contrast, good sleep brings benefits ranging from increased emotional well-being to better concentration, higher tolerance for pain, and a stronger immune system. So, if you can't sleep well, follow these 14 science-backed sleep hacks and learn how to fall asleep quicker today. 1. Bedtime ritual We're creatures of habit, and as we age, our threshold for changes in our daily routine becomes lower. Consistency in our bedtime routine helps set our brains in the right mood and sends the signal that it’s time to switch off for the day. Plus, an unwinding routine can help counter any triggers that cause us to stay awake, so do whatever helps your body and mind relax, whether it's listening to music, aromatherapy, writing in your journal, meditation or self-massage. Writing a journal is a ritual sleep hack shutterstock/WAYHOME studio 2. No electronics in the bedroom It's hard now so many of us are currently working from home, but our next sleep hack is to try not to use the bedroom as a second living room or office. Instead, keep it for the purpose for which it is intended: sleep! Indeed, studies have shown that exposure to blue light (light given off by electronic devices) interferes with our ability to get a good night's rest, so if you’ve grown used to reading on your e-reader, phone or tablet before bed, consider switching back to printed books. If you must use your electronic devices, change the brightness settings or use a blue-light blocking app. 3. Avoid other bright lights In addition to blue light, bright light from regular light bulbs can also disrupt sleep patterns. Studies have found that bright home lighting interferes with melatonin and disrupts the circadian rhythm (our internal body clocks), making our bodies believe that the day is still young and delaying sleep onset. “If you can't rest well on a regular basis, there are many sleep hacks you can put into practice to improve the quality of your rest time.” So, for better rest, or next sleep solution is to use dimmers or avoid bright light for at least one hour before bedtime, although some researchers recommend a longer window of up to three hours. 4. Beware of caffeine Yep, this is one sleep hack we know you're already aware of. But caffeine is not only present in coffee or tea (including decaf varieties), but also in chocolate, energy bars, some soft and diet drinks and ice cream that contains chocolate or coffee. Stimulants cause an increase in blood pressure and stress hormones, which is not what you want right before going to bed. It’s important to find out what your “cut-off” time for caffeine is. Be aware that it may change as you get older, as some studies report that caffeine sensitivity changes as we age. You should also take into account that caffeine interacts with certain medications that are usually prescribed to older adults. So, if you've recently started taking drugs to treat asthma or respiratory disease, antibiotics, estrogen, thyroid medication, or any drugs that slow down blood clotting, talk to your doctor about possible interactions. Watch yourself: find out what your cut off time for caffeine is shutterstock/Dragon Grkic 5. Eat a light dinner When planning your dinner, it’s best to avoid eating spicy, salty or oily foods. Also, try to reduce or avoid foods that contain starches and simple carbs, such as pasta or bread. These are hard to digest, can induce heartburn, and cause insulin levels to spike, meaning you may experience a sugar crash in the middle of the night. 6. Remove diuretics Keeping on the diet sleep hacks, be careful of consuming food and drink that might have you waking to head to the bathroom in the night. Tea and fruit juices are common diuretics (foods that makes us urinate), but you should also be aware of less obvious culprits such as celery, cucumber, watermelon, ginger, asparagus, lemon, beetroot, cabbage and pineapple. Plan your dinner so that there’s only a small amount of any foods that contain a high amount of water, which may wake you up in the night. 7. Increase activity levels Physical activity such as mindful running and swimming can help you fall asleep, as long as you find the right time to exercise. Indeed, working out right before bed may not be not be the ideal sleep hack since exercise increases the heart rate and releases stress hormones like adrenaline. Generally speaking, avoid exercising within three hours of bedtime. An afternoon jog can prepare you for rest shutterstock/Rido 8. The right temperature If you can't sleep well, it could be that your bedroom is too warm. Your sleeping space needs to be set up in a way that helps you unwind and fall asleep easily. One sleep hack is to pay special attention to temperature, because as we age, circulation to hands and feet lessens, and it’s easier to feel cold. “If you can't sleep well, it could be that your bedroom is too warm. Your sleeping space needs to be set up in a way that helps you unwind and fall asleep easily.” A study found that having warm feet helped people fall asleep faster, so use an electric blanket, socks, or even a hot water bottle to warm up. And although everyone is different, research points at the ideal bedroom temperature is somewhere around 20°C. 9. Don’t postpone bedtime Most of us rely on an alarm clock to wake up, but setting an alarm to remind you it’s time to go to bed may be useful if you find yourself postponing your bedtime again and again. This sleeping hack will help you establish a routine and train your body and mind to go to bed at the same time every night. 10. Choose quality mattress and pillows The aging process changes our bodies, and having good support for the spine and neck becomes particularly important. If you have trouble falling asleep or wake up feeling tired and achey, it may be time to replace your mattress and pillows. Scientists found that a medium-firm mattress can help with back pain, which is common in older adults. And less pain equals better sleep. Choosing quality pillows is another sleep solution 11. Daytime naps Naps can help us feel more alert and rested, but try not to do so for more than 30 minutes, and do it at the same time every day (not in the evenings, however). In fact, naps should not replace lost sleep at night, otherwise you will be aggravating sleep problems and making it harder to get into a regular night-time sleep routine. MORE LIKE THIS: Cat Naps – 5 Health Benefits of Taking a Siesta Deep Sleep Meditation – the Benefits You Can Take to Bed Feel Stress-Free Fast – 11 Science-Backed Techniques 12. Learn how to disconnect It’s easy to use the time we have before we fall asleep to go over our day in our heads, but this can easily turn into a formula for worry. Instead, stop ruminating and replace this habit with something that sets your mind on a positive note, such as writing a gratitude journal or meditating. “Keeping on the diet sleep hacks, be careful of consuming food and drink that might have you waking to head to the bathroom in the night. Tea and fruit juices are common diuretics.” Also, choose your bedtime reading materials carefully, since anything intellectually demanding or even a highly-engaging thriller may cause your brain to go into alert mode. RELATED: How to Meditate in Bed for Beginners 13. Don’t toss and turn Being aware of the fact that 'sleep is not happening' may cause you to feel stressed and anxious, creating a catch-22 situation that will not help you get further shut-eye. If you can’t sleep, get out of bed and read, write, or do any other soothing activity that’s part of your night-time ritual until you feel sleepy again. 14. Vitamins and good sleep Our final sleep hack concerns vitamins. Vitamin deficiency is one of the causes of insomnia, since some B-group vitamins play a key role in the production of melatonin. But at the same time, taking certain vitamins right before going to bed can be counter-productive. A study from the USA revealed that vitamin users were more likely to wake up during the night, and while the exact link between vitamins and sleep quality isn't confirmed, you may want to choose another time to take vitamins and supplements to be on the safe side. Conclusions: sleep hacks and solutions Although the aging process can negatively affect our ability to get a restful night of sleep, you should remember that you’re not powerless. If you're tired (literally!) of asking yourself 'why can't I sleep?', following our 14 sleep hacks should increase your chances of enjoying better sleep and feeling more alert. This will help you to achieve greater happiness and a healthier lifestyle, irrespective of your age. ● Main image: shutterstock/Kamil Macniak happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Gratitude | Nature | Stress Management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

From boosting your mood to lowering stress, the power of kindness is real. In fact, science shows the benefits of being kind are greater for the giver than the receiver. So, as Calvin Holbrook suggests, help others and help yourself, too. Can you remember the last time a stranger was kind to you? Maybe someone held a door open or offered you help with directions in the street? Or, perhaps you can recall the last time you helped somebody. After recently carrying out a few altruistic acts myself, I wanted to find out more about the power and benefits of kindness. Just before Christmas I passed a homeless man sitting outside a London Tube station. Coming out of a nearby coffee shop after paying almost £3 for a flat white, I couldn’t justify spending that on a hot drink while he was sat with nothing. I started a conversation to find out how he was doing and he was thankful when I offered him some change and a banana. However, he seemed most grateful when I simply asked him what his name was. When I got up to leave, he looked directly into my eyes and gave me a genuine ‘thank you.’ Later that week, I spotted an elderly lady hauling a huge suitcase down some stairs – she was clearly struggling. Her face lit up with joy when I offered a hand. She was clearly touched someone had made the effort to assist, and I too walked away with a spring in my step and smile on my face. The power of kindness: a ripple effect In these examples the power of kindness is obvious for the recipient: they were in a moment of need and received assistance. But the power of altruism also extended to me – in fact, one major benefit of kindness is that the love spreads both ways; it’s a win-win situation. A positive sign: showing kindness is easy and free After connecting with these people I felt a sense of happiness and pride to know I'd made a small but meaningful impact on their day. In fact, this feel-good sensation stayed with me for hours afterwards. Experiencing this feeling has also made it more likely that I'll carry out more random acts of kindness in the future. Likewise, I like to think that the power of kindness can potentially rub off on the people you'll help out in the future, so that they, in turn, will be more likely to assist others. In fact, it turns out that science backs up this kindness 'ripple effect'. “The power of kindness can potentially rub off on other people you'll help out in the future, so that they, in turn, will be more likely to assist other.” A 2018 study focused on employees at a Spanish company. Workers were asked to either a) perform acts of kindness for colleagues, or b) count the number of kind acts they received from coworkers. The results showed that those who received acts of kindness became happier, demonstrating the value of benevolence for the receiver. RELATED: 5 Ways to Develop Your Moral Courage However, those who delivered the acts of kindness benefited even more than the receivers. That’s because not only did they show a similar trend towards increased happiness, but they also had an boost in life and job satisfaction, as well as a decrease in depression. Furthermore, the effects of altruism were contagious. Those colleagues on the receiving end of the acts of kindness ended up spontaneously paying it forward, themselves doing nice things for other colleagues. This study suggests the ripple effect really is one of the benefits of being nice. Kindness and psychological flourishing Further studies back up the power of kindness. In another, researchers asked members of the public to either perform acts of kindness – such as opening doors for strangers – for one month, or to perform kind acts for themselves, such as treating themselves to a new purchase. The researchers measured the participants’ level of so-called ‘psychological flourishing’ – their emotional, psychological, and social well-being at the start and end of the experiment. By the end, those who had carried out kind acts for others had higher levels of psychological flourishing compared to those who acted kindly towards themselves. Kindly acts also led to higher levels of positive emotions. MORE LIKE THIS: Why is volunteering important? These 7 reasons show the benefits Kindness: a peak inside the power of this simple action Human kindness: why we need it more than ever Meanwhile, another study incorporated cold hard cash to test the powers of altruism. Researchers gave participants either $5 or $20 which they had to spend on themselves or others before the end of the day. They measured the participants’ happiness levels before giving them the money and then called them on the phone in the evening. The results? Those who had spent the money on others were happier than those who'd used the money for their own needs. The physical effects of kindness So, science shows that being kind and helpful clearly has a positive and uplifting effect on those carrying out the act. But what exactly is happening in the body? Here are four ways keys in which the physical benefits of kindness can be felt: 1. Kindness releases feel-good hormones When you do kinds acts for other people, so-called happiness hormones are released, boosting your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of well-being and satisfaction. Endorphin levels also rise, leading to a phenomenon known as a 'helper’s high'. 2. Kindness can reduce anxiety Another physical benefit of kindness is that it can help to lower anxiety. Social anxiety is associated with low positive affect (PA), which relates to an individual’s experience of positive moods such as joy, interest, and alertness. A four-week study on happiness from the University of British Columbia found that participants who engaged in kind acts displayed major increases in their PA levels that were maintained during the study duration. Good to give: kindness benefits both the giver and receiver 3. Kindness may help alleviate certain illness Inflammation in the body is linked to numerous health problems including chronic pain, diabetes, obesity, and migraines. For older generations at least, volunteering as an act of kindness may be of benefit to reduce inflammation. In fact, according to one study of older adults aged 57-85, “volunteering manifested the strongest association with lower levels of inflammation.” Additionally, oxytocin, also released with acts of kindness, reduces inflammation, and it can directly affect the chemical balance of your heart. According to Dr. David Hamilton, “oxytocin causes the release of a chemical called nitric oxide in blood vessels, which dilates the blood vessels. This reduces blood pressure and therefore oxytocin is known as a ‘cardioprotective’ hormone because it protects the heart (by lowering blood pressure).” 4. Kindness can reduce your stress levels Helping others takes you out of your own mind and can potentially help to build relationships with other people. Anything that helps you to build bonds with other people is known as 'affiliative behavior'. And, according to one study on the effects of pro-social behavior — action intended to help others on stress, “affiliative behavior may be an important component of coping with stress and indicate that engaging in pro-social behavior might be an effective strategy for reducing the impact of stress on emotional functioning.” “Science and studies show that being kind and helpful clearly has a positive and uplifting effect on those carrying out the act.” Furthermore, once we establish an 'affiliative connection' with someone — a relationship of friendship, love, or other positive bonding — we feel emotions that can boost our immune system. So, it seems continued altruism can boost your happiness and improve relationships and connections, in turn indirectly boosting your health. Shifting to kindness So, knowing this, why aren't people benefiting from the power of kindness? Why aren’t more people making a conscious effort to change the lives of others? RELATED: What Goes Around Comes Around: Is Karma Real? For one, in our fast-paced world, benevolence and compassion often end up taking a back seat to self-interest – and selfies. People don’t seem to take the time to stop and help others or even notice what’s going on as we're often wrapped up in our own lives. Helping hand: the power of kindness is proven Also, some people believe that showing kindness and compassion is a weakness and will only lead to being taken advantage of. But, the truth is, it’s in our human DNA to show kindness. In fact, we’re the only mammals with an extended gestation period, and while other animals rely on support for a short period before becoming self-reliant, we depend on the care of our caregivers to provide our needs. Indeed, kindness is fundamental to the human existence – we're literally wired for it. Kindness is not something that demands hard work or huge amounts of time. It’s something all of us can strive to achieve every day. And, knowing that the power of kindness and its benefits are immense for ourselves and not just the receiver, why wouldn’t you want to help others more? ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Gratitude | Acceptance | Altruism | Volunteering Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin is the happiness.com magazine editor, as well being an artist and lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

The ringing in the ears associated with tinnitus can dramatically impact on a person's quality of life. However, as Calvin Holbrook suggests, there are many ways you can cope with tinnitus. Here are ten practical ideas based on his own experience. Writing this now, with my Spotify Peaceful Piano Playlist gently playing soothing background music, I can still hear a high-pitched hissing noise in both of my ears. It's there all of the time; never goes away. Usually, it's a single, constant whirring noise. At other times it changes pitch or other sounds pop in and fade out again. And while the ringing in my ears often varies, currently my ability to cope with tinnitus largely remains unchanged. But it wasn't always like this. Rewind one year ago and things were very different. I'd had temporary bursts over tinnitus over the past decade: I'd suddenly hear high-pitched noises but they would then fade down to zero again within a few seconds. However, one day, that familiarly shrill noise came in but didn't stop: I was now living with chronic tinnitus and would (probably) have to learn how to cope with it for the rest of my life. I can clearly still recall the fresh hell of developing chronic tinnitus after a period of extended stress: the realization it will probably never go away; trying everything to drown out the sound; the sleepless nights, trying (yet failing) to focus on work. Unfortunately, in addition to developing tinnitus I also experienced hyperacusis, a condition in which your ears become super sensitive to sound. Listening to someone handle cutlery or plates was enough to send me over the edge. When tinnitus first becomes chronic, your brain immediately switches into alarm mode, imaging the internal noise as harmful or dangerous. Furthermore, focusing on anything else apart from the ringing seems like an impossible task. Like me, you may experience panic, anxiety, depression and anger as you try to cope with tinnitus symptoms. You may think to yourself: ’why me?’ And you will probably ask yourself many other questions about your tinnitus too: ‘Will it ever stop?’ ‘Will it get louder?’ ‘Am I going deaf?’ ‘Am I stuck with this for the rest of my life?’ Tinnitus: things will get better While it all feels pretty dark in the beginning, I'm here to tell you that there is hope on the horizon and that living with tinnitus is possible. Indeed, if you've recently been struck down with tinnitus and are struggling to cope, please be assured: you should see improvements with time and start to feel better mentally about it. However, if you're currently feeling like it’s an emergency or having dark/suicidal thoughts, please seek help ASAP from your healthcare provider. You can learn techniques to help you cope with tinnitus The hyper-alert state you experience with tinnitus can last many weeks or months. However, day by day your brain begins to get used to the strange new sounds you're hearing and will gradually begin to get used to them. This process is called 'habituation' and just knowing that it will happen naturally can help you to learn to deal with your tinnitus. Indeed, I – and millions others across the world – are proof of that. A year after being diagnosed with chronic tinnitus I am coping with it much better. Of course, like everyone else I have good and bad days (so-called tinnitus 'spikes' – increases or drastic changes in pitch/loudness – can be a challenge), but my condition currently doesn’t impact on my happiness to a great extent. Coping with tinnitus: 10 techniques It's important to point out that the internal sounds those of us living with tinnitus experience are all different. Although the level of my ringing is bothersome, it is not unbearable. This may change in the future. I've read stories of people that experience ringing at extremely high sound levels: that, of course, must make the condition more challenging and impact on a person's ability to cope with tinnitus. However, whatever type of tinnitus you are experiencing, there are many practical steps you can take to cope with tinnitus and make it less intrusive in your life. Here are 10 tips to get you started. 1. Accept it The first step in coping with tinnitus lies in acceptance of the condition. However, this is often easier said than done in the beginning. As much as you may want to fight against the ringing in your ears – especially during those first traumatic weeks or months – doing so will only lead to disappointment and frustration. While some people experience temporary tinnitus because of trauma to the head or an ear infection, those of us with chronic tinnitus are usually stuck with the noises for life (saying that, there have been cases where people's tinnitus appears to have vanished). Accepting your condition is essential for you to be able to deal with tinnitus. Essentially, you first need to know if your tinnitus is temporary or chronic and if you have any hearing damage. Visit a high street ophthalmologist or ask your GP to refer you to an ear, nose and throat (ENT) specialist. 2. Relaxation The anxiety you feel when first getting tinnitus is to be expected but it will only make you feel more stressed, and, in turn, exacerbate tinnitus. Indeed, it's believed that stress really impacts on tinnitus, so it’s important that you reduce any stressors in your life to keep tinnitus levels in check. In fact, many people living with tinnitus use their condition as a barometer of their stress levels – if their tinnitus appears to be worsening, it’s a signal something in their life is out of balance. “Many people coping with tinnitus use it as a barometer of stress – if their tinnitus appears to be worsening, it’s a signal something is out of balance.” Relaxation is obviously a key way to combat stress and therefore improve how you deal with tinnitus. Practising meditation and conscious breathing exercises are practical and simple tools you can use to immediately reduce anxiety and stress. Incorporate both into your daily routine to feel the benefits. Also, be sure to spend as much time in nature as possible. As well as the relaxation and proven mental health benefits of forest bathing, the sounds of nature help to soothe that pesky tinnitus ringing. The crashing of waves; the rustling of branches and leaves, bird song – the many noises of nature offer your ears and brain a calming distraction. Sea sounds help to mask tinnitus noise shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 3. Practising mindfulness Making mindfulness a part of your daily routine is one of the best things you can do when it comes to coping with tinnitus. Mindfulness won't make tinnitus go away, but it aims to make it less intrusive. Indeed, mindfulness teaches us how to live with difficulties such as tinnitus, without having to fight or change them. Practising mindfulness can help us help us to develop a better relationship with our tinnitus, aiding the habituation process. RELATED: Mindful behaviour – 13 practical mindfulness tools In 2017 the British Tinnitus Assoctiation published two research papers that showed that mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is an effective treatment for those people living with distressing tinnitus. The results showed that tinnitus patients undergoing MBCT were associated with significant, reliable and ongoing improvements in their tinnitus-related and emotional distress. Luckily, mindfulness is something we can all practise by ourselves and for free. It involves paying complete and mindful attention to whatever we're doing in the moment: breathing, eating, showering, walking or noticing the physical sensations in our body, for example. We have some great mindfulness tips you can incorporate into your daily routine to help you to become less focused on your tinnitus. 4. Finding your flow Personally, experiencing ‘flow’ is the most efficient way to cope with my own tinnitus. 'Flow' is that state in which you are so totally absorbed and engaged in an activity that you enjoy that time seems to stand still. For example, I find my flow when I'm making an artwork or editing an article. RELATED: Flow state and happiness Sometimes my attention is so focused in the state of flow that it can seem like my tinnitus has stopped (for a while at least!). Flow is really an act of mindfulness, and as outlined above, mindfulness is one of the scientifically-proven best ways to deal with tinnitus. 5. Staying busy Finding your flow is one of the best ways to deal with your tinnitus as it helps to shift your awareness to something other than the internal noises you are dealing with. Similarly, I find that staying busy – in a non-stressful way of course – keeps my focus off of my tinnitus so it’s easier to cope with. Sitting around in silence is when tinnitus may start to bother you the most, so staying active and on-the-go helps to keep it stop dominating your mind. 6. Exercising with yoga OK, we all know the drill about exercise: it boosts your physical and mental health, helping to lift depression and anxiety (which you could be more vulnerable to if you are living with tinnitus). Exercise also combats against stress which, as explained above, is a major influencing factor when it comes to tinnitus levels. Yoga, in particular, is an exercise that has been found to help people cope better with tinnitus. A small 2018 study from Mersin University in Turkey indicated that practising yoga may reduce life stress and symptoms of tinnitus. Researchers followed 12 participants who practised guided yoga over three months involving poses, breathing exercises and meditations. The researchers hypothesized that because tinnitus symptoms are often linked to stress, and because yoga is stress-relieving, yoga may help decrease symptoms for patients living with chronic tinnitus. “Good sleep is essential when it comes to coping with tinnitus. Our bodies need sleep to heal and recover. When I have a bad night’s rest my tinnitus always seems louder the following day.” Elsewhere, Polish researchers conducted a similar study in 2019. It followed 25 patients with chronic tinnitus through 12 weeks of yoga training. The researchers identified that participants benefitted most from improved sense of control over tinnitus, lessened intrusiveness, improved quality of life and better sleep. The last point of improved sleep is important (as we shall see next). Importantly, whatever exercise you choose to do, working out will help to tire your body and lead to an increased chance of falling asleep quickly. Yoga is a perfect way to shift awareness shutterstock/Ulza 7. Prioritising good sleep Good sleep is essential when it comes to coping with tinnitus. Our bodies need sleep to heal and recover. When I have a bad night’s rest, my tinnitus always seems louder the following day. However – as you will no doubt know – sometimes falling asleep can be difficult for those of us with chronic tinnitus. That’s because tinnitus appears to sound worse at night – there are fewer external noises to mask the internal sounds, so we may have 'external' silence but have to put up with our 'internal' noises. RELATED: 14 sleep hacks to get a good night's rest One thing I love to do to help shift awareness from my tinnitus when going to bed is follow a body scan meditation script. Gradually tensing and releasing different body parts and feeling the sensations it brings directs your thoughts away from your tinnitus and to those other places in your body. You can also find ways to externally ‘mask’ your tinnitus sounds at night to help you drift off more easily. In my first few months of living with chronic tinnitus, I used mobile apps such as the excellent T-Minus to play 'white noise' such as rain sound, which works wonders balancing out my high-pitched tinnitus. There are also plenty of great YouTube videos of rain sounds that you can play in the background while you're in bed. 8. Exploring masking Sound-masking devices such as the apps mentioned above provide an external noise that partially drowns out the internal ringing of tinnitus. As well as using apps you can also try: having calming piano music on in the background leaving a fan or the TV on opening a window to let in some external noise Practise sound bathing Furthermore, if you have hearing loss in addition to tinnitus, there are now hearing aids with inbuilt white noise generators which help many with the condition cope with tinnitus symptoms. Whatever masking method you choose, always set the volume of the device a notch lower than the perceived sound of your tinnitus – you don’t want to drown out the sound completely or you may find it harder to habituate. 9. Talking to someone It’s important to remember that you don’t have to cope with tinnitus alone. As the number of people who live with persistent tinnitus is thought to be around 13 per cent, there’s a chance someone in your close circle is going through the same thing. Open up to family members and friends, or put your thoughts out on social media if you feel comfortable sharing your tinnitus story – you may be surprised by the responses. However, friends and family may not be able to support you unless they have experienced tinnitus themselves, so they may not realise how distressing tinnitus can be (or even know what it is). If this is the case, do connect with someone who has dealt with tinnitus themselves in order to get the help you need. In the UK there are tinnitus support groups up and down the country where you can meet in person to discuss living well with tinnitus. “Tinnitus can dramatically impact on your quality of life and can be hard to adapt to. However, as with everything in life, we can choose how we react to it.” The internet is also full of tinnitus support groups and forums such as the excellent TinnitusTalk forum which is full of useful and insightful threads. However, do so with caution! Be careful when browsing for tinnitus help online as you will come across many dubious ads for methods or items claiming to stop or cure tinnitus. Unfortunately there is no cure for tinnitus, so please don't waste your money. Finally, if you prefer a friendly voice in real time, the British Tinnitus Association offers a confidential tinnitus helpline. You can call its team for support. 10. Exploring your tinnitus This final suggestion may seem like the last thing you want to do, but it actually brings us right back to the first tinnitus coping tip of 'acceptance'. Depending on your personal tinnitus noise level, you may find it beneficial to employ some mindfulness techniques and simply sit with your tinnitus for a while. Try to listen to it with curiosity and without judgement. Take some time to observe your tinnitus and ask yourself some questions about it. Does your tinnitus noise level stay the same or does it get louder or quieter? Does it stay at the same pitch or do you hear new sounds come in and out? Does it sound the same in your left and right side? If you feel comfortable and ready for this type of exercise, you can even sit and meditate on your tinnitus, bringing all your attention to the sounds and your breathing. Exploring your tinnitus in this way may seem difficult if you've bee recently diagnosed with the condition, but realizing that tinnitus is just 'there' and cannot harm you can help you to cope with its day-to-day symptoms. The takeaway: dealing with tinnitus Tinnitus can dramatically impact on your quality of life and can be hard to adapt to. However, as with everything in life, we can choose how we react to it. If we fight against our tinnitus, we are more likely to struggle. But, if we learn to accept it and live with it, habituation to tinnitus can become easier. Whatever type of sounds you experience – hissing, whistling, humming or buzzing – by following the ten tips above, coping with tinnitus should become easier. Hopefully, as is the case with myself, tinnitus will just become another part of your life, and not a dominating factor. • Main image: shutterstock/aleks333 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our Academy Resilience | Gratitude | Self-care Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes gay artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

Holidays aren't always a time of cheer: especially if you've lost a loved one and are grieving. Paula Stephens knows this feeling all too well. Here she shares 10 practical tips for coping with holiday grief. I lost my Dad on Christmas Eve when I was just 16. The next year my Mom, Grandma and I took our holiday grief on vacation and found ourselves on a beach in Hawaii for the entire festive season. It was a great way to break with the traditions and memories none of us wanted to face. My most vivid memory of that Hawaiian vacation was sitting next to an older gentleman at dinner on Christmas Eve and noticing he was wearing the exact same sweater my Dad would’ve been wearing. Well, this brought my grief right back up to the surface and I left the dinner to go down to the beach and cry. 10 tips for coping with holiday grief Needless to say, it’s been a long time since I felt untarnished joy and happiness during the holiday season. But, I believe that we are deserving of joy during the holidays, even if it comes balanced with the heartache and longing for the person we love and are missing deeply. In my book, From Grief to Growth, I talk about an essential element of healing that is learning to hold both joy and sadness in the same moment. There is no more challenging time to do this than during the holidays. This is why I've put together these ten easy-to-follow tips that will support you as you navigate coping during the holiday season. I don’t like to say ‘survive the holidays,’ because I want to encourage you to have the mindset that you're always fully capable of more than survival. These are simple, practical tips that don’t require a lot on your part, but are focused to help you the most this time of year. 1. List the events you're most worried about Often, much of our holiday grief comes from not knowing what’s going to happen or how traditions and events are going to feel differently after the loss of a loved one. So, take some quiet time to think through what specific traditions you're most concerned about. The best way to do this is to find some time to sit quietly and connect with your breath. Once you’ve centered yourself, ask yourself the question: “What events or traditions are creating the most anxiety for me right now?” Your inner knowing has the answer. You might immediately be pulled to an event or activity. Notice how your body feels, the sensations and energy around the activity. Coping with loss during the holidays is a challenge shutterstock/Zivica Kerkez If nothing comes up immediately then begin to bring your thoughts to various holiday activities. Check in with each one – tree decorating, cookie exchange, for example. How does each one feel; what comes up? You might find some are more emotionally charged than others. 2. Consider which events/traditions you want to keep Be open to the idea that some traditions you will want to wrap in love and keep, while others will need to be shelved for a while (and maybe for ever). Recognize the traditions you keep will never be the same, but keeping them honors the love you feel for the person you lost. Every year will be a little bit different, and what feels right this year might not feel the same in the coming years. Grief is a process and you must be willing to evolve with it. Always be open to what will help you move forward in your grief… and sometimes we need to go backwards to go forward! Get out your list from tip one. Now, let’s take the next steps: • Which events do you want to keep this year? • Which events are too painful this year or don’t feel right? • What or how can you modify an event? If you're undecided on some, come back to your list again later or sit with the idea of doing that event and see what comes up. I know we can’t always control everything about the holiday seasons with family being involved, etc, but don’t worry. 3. Brainstorm how you want to honor your loved one Even if you decide to escape the entire holiday season and fly away to Hawaii for the holidays (been there, done that!), it’s important that you take time to honor your loved one. It could be with a donation of time or money, or by creating a sacred space or a new tradition. No matter what you decide, be mindful about setting time aside to actively honor your loss. What would you like to do this year to include your loved one in the holiday season? What do you need to do to make this come to fruition? 4. Let the tears flow Quite simply, cry. Don’t be the tough guy or girl who pretends it’s all good – because it's probably not. You’re going through a season or anniversary without someone who was a very important part of your life and coping with holiday grief is part of that. By yourself or with your besties, it doesn’t matter, just let it happen. "Much of our holiday grief comes from not knowing what’s going to happen or how traditions and events are going to feel differently after the loss of a loved one.” Another way to look at this is: are you checking in with yourself to know what’s going on emotionally and physically? Are you filling your days with busy activity to disconnect from the emotional heartache you would feel if you had a moment of downtime? Or, perhaps, you're withdrawing from friends, family and social activities. There isn’t a right or wrong way to deal with holiday grief, but we need to be aware of our tendencies to protect ourselves or how we might fall into negative coping strategies. Sometimes a good cry is a better reset than the work we put into avoiding our reality. So, if you need a good cry, have one. 5.Tell friends and family how you're feeling Family and friends might not know exactly which activities you’ll struggle with: what might be hard and/or memorable to them might not be the same for you. Generally speaking, they will want to support you, especially with managing your grief during the holiday season. But, you're the only one who knows what you need and how you're feeling, so don’t make it harder for them by expecting them to guess what this is like for you. Tree of knowledge: dealing with holiday grief We all experience grief differently, so share your fears, concerns and desires. Express what’s important to you or how you would like to handle a specific event. It doesn’t mean you'll always get what you want or need, but it means that you have given voice to your grief and honored your process. 6. Prioritize your self-care There's no more important time to focus your energy on self-care than during the holidays. Lack of sleep, poor food choices, increased alcohol consumption, decreased exercise and increased stress all add up to a massive grief hangover! The 8 types of grief explained 7 healing quotes on grief to inspire How to help a grieving friend Your emotional self is already on overdrive and this will leave your immune system susceptible to illness and your physical body exhausted. Make hydration, sleep, whole foods, stress management and exercise a priority leading up to and including any seasonal events. Care for yourself by: eating a healthy breakfast, drinking more water, going to bed 30 minutes early, journaling, being outside, connecting with nature, and skipping that second (or third) drink at a party! 7. Manage your energy This is a continuation of the last tip. Even if you are taking care of yourself, notice when your tank is getting close to empty. This is especially important if you're the type of person who likes to stay busy to keep their mind off things. Exhaustion (physical and emotional) is often the root cause of emotional meltdowns. And, as you know, grieving is emotional exhausting by itself, then you add the emotional stress of the holidays and your tank is already half empty! So, remember that it’s OK to say ‘no’ to events, or change your ‘yes’ to a ‘no’ at the last minute if you notice you're not feeling up to the task. List three ways you know you’re getting low on energy (ie, irritable, fatigue, craving sugar/caffeine). Now list three ways you can fill your tank (ie: nap, take a bath, journal, read a book). 8. Prioritize work/social events The holidays are an especially busy time of year for extra parties and events – work, neighborhood and family are examples. Take time to choose only one or two events that are important for you to attend. These might be required for your job or things you just simply don’t want to miss. Be mindful about your selection and take your time to RSVP. For social events that you might have attended with your loved one, ask yourself if you're ready for that situation. Imagine yourself in that environment. Who will be at the event? What will it be like to attend? “We are deserving of joy during the holidays, even if it comes balanced with the heartache and longing for the person we love and are missing deeply.” Then, have an exit strategy! If it’s required that you attend, or you feel like you ‘should’ go, make sure you have a plan for getting out if things get too difficult. This might be driving a separate car or letting the host know you will be not be staying long. 9. Build time in for you As you're planning your social events, make sure you put ‘me time' on the calendar. Whether that's to get out into nature and hike, get a massage, read a book, take a bath, it doesn’t matter – just build in time to recharge your batteries. This could also include making time to be with close friends or family that help you feel connected and loved. Be sure to reach out to these people and let them know you might need some support during the holiday season. Write a list of the people you can connect with and/or activities that soothe your soul. And, again, since people aren’t mind readers, let people know you're taking care of yourself by scheduling time to reflect and recharge. 10. Give back One of the most amazing ways to cope with your grief during an anniversary or holiday season is to make it a little better for someone else. Unfortunately, there's so much suffering around the holidays – in this we are not alone. Donate to a charity in your loved one’s name. Give your time to helping others. Buy a gift for someone in a hospital or nursing home. Pay for the person behind you at Starbucks. Volunteer your time. The options for random acts of kindness are endless. Honestly, nothing soothes and heals our own wounds more than helping someone else. How can you help someone else feel comforted this holiday season? Giving doesn’t have to be financial – you can give of your time, you can donate clothes or other items you no longer use. I hope my tips will hope you manage and cope with grief this holiday season and that you enjoy this time. You deserve it! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Friendship | Mindfulness | Vulnerability | Burnout Written by Paula Stephens Paula Stephens, M.A. is the founder of Crazy Good Grief, an organization that teaches positive growth and resilience after the loss of a loved one. Her work is inspired by the personal loss of her oldest son who passed away unexpectedly while home on leave from the Army. Paula is a speaker, yogi and life coach. She's also the author of From Grief to Growth: 5 Essential Elements to Give your Grief Purpose and Grow from Your Experience. Paula is a practicing Buddhist and recently became the first Buddhist Chaplain to work at the county jail where she lives. She is the mother of four boys and lives in Littleton, Colorado.