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True happiness comes from within, but it takes work. The good thing is, all of us can learn how to develop it. From cultivating resilience to showing gratitude, Sonia Vadlamani explores five science-backed techniques that build lasting inner happiness and joy. For the longest time, I believed happiness to be something that came from outside – like getting a promotion at work, traveling to a dream destination with my partner, or purchasing something from my wishlist. And yes, indeed, these events do make me happy. But in reality I find I’m actually much happier on the days I have some quality “me time” to enjoy all my favourite leisure activities and connect with the people I love. This observation, coupled with research on happiness, helped me understand the simple and profound truth: happiness comes from within – happiness is an inside job. This holds true for most of us: while external events can definitely make us joyful, we also have inherent values and needs that we derive happiness from just the same. The best part? We don’t need to wait for external outcomes to feel content; we just need to learn how to tap into these sources of lasting happiness. Indeed, happiness is a choice, and science shows that true happiness comes from within, consistently and reliably, when we take small, intentional steps to achieve it, every single day. What does it mean to find happiness within? When we talk about finding inner happiness, we refer to what researchers in positive psychology call “internal happiness”, or a steady sense of well-being and contentment that stems from within and doesn’t rely on external circumstances. Unlike the fleeting happiness that we experience from external events like winning some money on the lottery or attending a concert, intrinsic happiness isn’t temporary, but rather a stable foundation for contentment and peace of mind. Where does happiness come from? Start the search within... In contrast, external happiness relies heavily on outside events, possessions and achievements. While these are undeniably necessary for life satisfaction, they only tend to boost our mood and improve happiness levels temporarily. In fact, a study of Stanford student-athletes living under immense pressure revealed that intrinsic factors like mindfulness, self-restraint, and self-esteem were stronger predictors of happiness than external factors such as playing time and scholarships. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Find Happiness: 11 Science-Backed Tips What is Happiness Exactly, Anyway? Discover the 10 Keys to Happier Living Another study by researchers Christopher P Niemiec et al. suggests that while the quest for external happiness alone can adversely impact well-being, focusing on intrinsic happiness benefits one’s psychological health, emphasizing the need for balance between external and internal forms of happiness. “Developing mindful awareness is key to finding happiness within yourself, as savoring the 'now' requires us to pay attention to events unfolding around you.” These findings highlight the need to develop traits that can help us find true happiness from within, enabling us to navigate life’s uncertainties better and build resilience. It’s also important to know that happiness can’t always stem entirely from within, especially for someone with a mental health condition like depression or anxiety, who may need to seek professional help for managing their condition and finding relief. How to Find Happiness Within Yourself The quest for finding happiness within yourself doesn’t mean ignoring external events and life milestones, but rather developing skills and practices that help maintain a sense of peace and inner contentment even through challenging times. So, here are five science-backed ways to help you learn how to find happiness within yourself. Incorporate them into your life one at a time to help build long-lasting joy and contentment. 1. Learn to live fully in the present A Harvard study that tracked the thoughts and moods of 2,250 participants found that humans spend nearly 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re doing, and that this impacts happiness. Published in Science, this research corroborated a profound truth: the human capacity to capture joy depends largely on being present in the moment. Indeed, research suggests that ruminating over the past or worrying about the future can fuel negativity and reduce life satisfaction. On the other hand, immersing ourselves fully in the present – wholly engaging with the task at hand – regulates our nervous system and enables a flow state characterized by complete absorption. This can further help instill a sense of control, putting a stop to repetitive thoughts. Develop mindful awareness (and increased happiness) through breathwork Indeed, developing mindful awareness is key to building inner happiness, as savouring the “now” requires us to pay attention to the events unfolding around you. Simple mindfulness practices that can help improve your mood and elevate inner happiness levels include: focusing on your breathing. tuning into what you see, hear and feel at the moment, like eating, walking and doing daily chores. gently bringing your attention back to the present moment when it wanders (it will). setting time aside for mindfulness meditation. 2. Practice radical acceptance If being mindful pertains to developing awareness, acceptance is how we process and respond to this awareness, especially when faced with failure, loss or imperfections. Indeed, a comprehensive review of six correlated studies by researchers Daniel T Cordaro et al. suggests that inner contentment is a distinct positive emotion that is central to overall well-being and happiness. Embracing life as it is, therefore, is a crucial requirement for how happiness comes from within. This endeavor requires us to be aware of and accept the various emotions, imperfections, fears, and desires that make us all essentially human. MORE LIKE THIS: Happiness is a State of Mind: 8 Ways to Develop It Is Happiness Genetic? Here's What Science Says How Can Happiness Be Measured? Radical acceptance relies on practicing self-compassion, which means treating yourself with the same kindness you would show a good friend during a difficult time. It also involves understanding that errors and failure are a part of being human, not personal flaws. Here are some ways to practice radical awareness and self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Evaluate your feelings with a gentle approach, not harsh self-judgment. When you notice a mistake or flaw, approach the emotions with kind observance and speak to yourself with genuine warmth. Remember that you’re not alone in your struggles – everyone faces challenge in their lives. Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and limitations. 3. Cultivate inner resilience Resilience, or the capacity to recover from difficult situations and adapt to life's challenges, is a key predictor for finding happiness within yourself. In fact, a study by researchers Steven M. Southwick et al. revealed that resilient individuals don’t encounter fewer challenges in life; they simply react to them differently. Therefore, your ability to adapt to adversities and overcome challenges can be the answer to how to find inner happiness and well-being. The first step toward developing resilience is reframing your perspective about life’s uncertainties and embracing the unknown. Resilient people look at difficulties as opportunities to learn, not threats to their happiness, and are adept at ‘lemonading’ – making the best of the situation at hand. “Individuals who understand that true happiness comes from within are also more resilient and more capable of bouncing back from life’s trials.” Adopting a growth mindset is another crucial aspect of resilience. Challenge yourself by stepping out of your comfort zone and attempting something that feels uncomfortable. Also, remember to celebrate small wins by tuning your mind to recognize and enjoy the smallest efforts and progress, instead of waiting to celebrate loftier milestones. 4. Develop a gratitude routine There’s more to gratitude than just saying thanks – emerging research suggests it’s a powerful practice that can help rewire our brains to weed out toxic emotions and significantly improve our happiness levels. How to find happiness from within? Keep a gratitude journal A study at University of California, Berkeley, involving 300 participants seeking mental health counseling revealed that the mental health benefits of gratitude practice can be experienced even when it's not communicated to others. While the benefits of gratitude – like improved inner happiness, reduced mental stress, and an optimistic outlook – take time to emerge, they create a positive snowball effect with consistent practice. To cultivate an attitude of gratitude, try these things daily: Write down three things you’re grateful for in your gratitude journal. Express gratitude to people you’re thankful for having in your life. Acknowledge moments of kindness and beauty throughout the day. Set time aside to practice gratitude meditation to truly appreciate all the things you’re thankful for. 5. Nurture meaningful connections While true happiness comes from within, we’re essentially social beings, and having close relationships is a fundamental need for a long, healthy life. Spending time with those you care for helps release happiness hormones, namely serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin. These are also released when you exercise, so in a way, spending quality time with your loved ones is almost as beneficial as getting a workout. To strengthen your relationships: Practice mindful listening and empathy. Really hear others out without judgment or bias. Trust your close friends and family enough to share your authentic self, and avoid the vulnerability hangover trap. Show up consistently, whether to celebrate their wins or be a shoulder to lean on during tough times. Connect over activities you collectively enjoy, like hiking, volunteering or joining a book club. Where does happiness come from? Friends are a key source Inner Happiness: Clear Health Benefits The happiness derived from savoring life’s small joys is also associated with several other positive outcomes considered the “hallmarks of a happy person”, such as long-lasting relationships, more successful careers, and better health. Individuals who understand that true happiness comes from within are also more capable of bouncing back from life’s trials and uncertainties with better stress-management and decision-making abilities. In essence, the ability to tap into inner happiness helps us experience more positive emotions and achieve more favorable outcomes in terms of success and improved life satisfaction. Takeaway: Happiness Comes From Within Happiness is a journey, and while the path to inner happiness isn’t easy, it is accessible to everyone. As demonstrated by the ample research above, everyone has the ingredients necessary to cultivate lasting joy within ourselves – the practices discussed here simply help you uncover and nurture the happiness that already exists within you. Indeed, in a world that constantly tells us happiness is bound to result from the next purchase or milestone, finding happiness within yourself is a practical and responsible step towards ensuring your well-being. ● Images: feodorina, Peopleimages.com - Yuri A, Oksana Klymenko, Jacob Lund happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Self care | Empathy | Letting go | Acceptance Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Are chakras real? While not tangible, the importance of chakras within multiple traditions suggests they are. Rachel Markowitz explains the meaning, locations and colors of the seven main chakras, plus the mantras and yoga asanas that activate these unique energy centres. I was introduced to chakras during a yoga teaching training class when a teacher instructed me to chant “ham” repeatedly while inverted in a shoulder stand. This, the instructor said, would open my throat chakra, which was linked to my insecurities, and radically improve my life. At the time, this seemed odd; I didn’t know what a throat chakra was, why it might be closed, how opening it would be helpful, or how chanting upside-down might facilitate this! However, I can now admit that, as a yoga instructor myself, I’ve suggested similar practices to students for a multitude of reasons. Since chakras are not part of the physical body, they often remain a mystery. However, a basic understanding of energetic anatomy is a powerful tool for harmonizing body, mind, and spirit. Let's explore the chakra system together and discover some tips to help ensure your energy flows freely. What are Chakras? Chakras are moving centers of concentrated energy located in the subtle (energetic) body. In Sanskrit, chakra translates to wheel, which serves as an appropriate visual representation of these spinning energy disks. Chakras were first mentioned in the Vedas thousands of years ago – a series of texts that form the basis of Indian philosophy, all branches of yoga, and Ayurvedic medicine – and were later described in the Upanishads, Yoga Sutras, and Tantric texts. There are numerous systems for identifying and classifying these energetic vortexes, and most traditions suggest that we have over 100 chakras throughout the subtle body. It' possible to work on activating chakras during yoga However, according to most modern-day yoga teachings, seven chakras are particularly significant. These major chakras are located along our main energetic channel, Sushumna Nadi, ascending from the base of the spine to slightly above the crown of the head. Chakras govern certain aspects of our physical body, mind, and spiritual path. Each of the seven main chakras corresponds to a color and is depicted by a lotus flower with specific geometrical and symbolic qualities. Each chakra also has a corresponding bija, or seed, mantra. Furthermore, the first five chakras are linked to an element (the last two chakras relate to existence beyond the elements). In an ideal state of being, all chakras are open and aligned. Other healthy-chakra descriptions include “activated,” “balanced,” or “unblocked.”) Why Learn About Chakras? Understanding each chakra and its role in our composition can help us see patterns in our overall well-being, identify and heal imbalances and blockages, and strengthen the body, mind, and aura. RELATED: Yoga For Happiness: Gratitude Yoga Kundalini Meditation: 4 Key Benefits and How to Practise It Fasting and Autophagy: Ancient Wisdom Chakras also offer a unique perspective on the connection between our internal and external worlds. For healing, we can work to clear and balance energy in the entire body or focus on each chakra individually. Either way, when we take the time to ensure that prana, or life-force energy, is moving without constrictions or resistance in the energetic body, we encourage optimal health – from the inside out. Exploring the Major Chakras The seven main energy centers are divided into three lower chakras, which relate to the Earth and the individual self, and three higher chakras, which connect us to the universe and spirit. The higher and lower chakras come together at the heart chakra, located in the center of the chest, at the level of our anatomical heart. “Chakras govern certain aspects of our physical body, mind, and spiritual path. Each of the seven main chakras corresponds to a color and is depicted by a lotus flower with specific geometrical and symbolic qualities.” Below is a description of each of the seven major chakras, including location, associations, symbol, color, and mantra – along with a short list of suggested yoga practices that promote chakra health. For strengthening, unblocking, or healing an ailment related to a certain chakra, you can visualize a light at its location, focus on its symbol, chant its mantra, incorporate its color in your daily life, or practice the postures or breathing techniques listed in each section. The 7 main chakras, colors and locations within the human body 1. Root (Muladhara) Chakra The root chakra governs the health of the lower body, from the feet to the hips. In life, it’s connected to basic survival, primal instincts, and foundational physical and material needs. Location: Base of the spine; pelvic floor Color and Symbol: Red lotus flower with four petals Element: Earth Mantra: Lam. Recommended Yoga Practices: Warrior poses, lunges, balancing postures, seated positions 2. Sacral (Svadisthana) Chakra In the physical body, the sacral chakra energetically controls our hips, sexual organs, and reproductive health. It’s also connected to desire, emotional stability, sexuality, pleasure, and anything we create. Location: Below the navel Color and Symbol: Orange lotus flower with six petals Element: Water Mantra: Vam. Recommended Yoga Practices: Happy Baby pose, Goddess pose, hip openers 3. Solar Plexus (Manipura) Chakra The solar plexus chakra is related to the core of our body and our digestive system. Mentally and emotionally, this chakra governs strength, confidence, willpower, ego, and the way we assimilate or “digest” information. It’s strongly linked to the concept of tapas in yoga, our inner fire. Location: Center of the body; near the abdomen and below the ribcage Color and Symbol: Yellow lotus flower with 10 petals Element: Fire Mantra: Ram. Recommended Yoga Practices: Boat pose, twists, Breath of Fire 4. Heart (Anahata) Chakra As mentioned earlier, Anahata chakra is the place where the upper and lower chakras join together at the heart center. In our bodies, this chakra governs the area around the chest, anatomical heart, and lungs. In our lives, the heart chakra is related to love (of self and others), relationships, trust, and compassion. Location: Center of the chest at heart level Color and Symbol: Green lotus flower with 12 petals Element: Air Mantra: Yam Recommended Yoga Practices: Camel pose, Bow pose, Puppy pose 5. Throat (Vishuddha) Chakra The throat chakra governs the throat and neck area, as well as the thyroid gland, and is linked to our sense of speech, creativity, and ability to communicate authentically. Vishuddha chakra is also significant as our center of energetic purification. Location: Throat Color and Symbol: Blue lotus flower with 16 petals Element: Ether (Space) Mantra: Ham. Recommended Yoga Practices: Shoulder Stand, Fish pose, Lion’s Breath, chanting 6. Third Eye (Ajna) The third eye center is closely linked to our pineal gland, nervous system, and sense of intuition and perception. Thus, we often look to ajna chakra for relaxation and visions during spiritual practice. Location: Center of the brain; between the eyebrows Color and Symbol: Violet or indigo lotus flower with two petals Mantra: Om Recommended Yoga Practices: Child’s pose, meditation, Shambhavi Mudra (directing gaze at the third eye) 7. Crown (Sahasrara) The crown chakra connects the individual self to the greater Self. It’s related to cosmic consciousness, self-awareness, and the interconnectedness of all that is. Location: Slightly above the crown of the head Color and Symbol: White, Light, or Violet thousand-petal lotus flower Mantra: Aum (or silent aum) Recommended Yoga Practices: Headstand, Savasana, meditation Are Chakras Real? Chakras are not physical or tangible, but that doesn’t make them less real than other aspects of our physical, mental, emotional, or energetic existence. One indicator of the validity of the concept of chakras is their appearance throughout various traditions and time. In addition to the yogic systems of chakras, Buddhist, Jain, and other healing modalities also visualize and work with chakras (or similar locations of concentrated energy, such as meridians/Dan Tien in Chinese medicine) as points of focus for meditation and healing. Chakras can be used as focal points during meditation Although science has yet to prove the existence of chakras, research is on the way to doing so. Recent technology is now able to measure the electromagnetic radiance of auras and the energetic body, indicating that our energetic presence, particularly energy emanating from the heart, extends far beyond our physical bodies. “Chakras are not physical or tangible, but that doesn’t make them less real than other aspects of our physical, mental, emotional, or energetic existence.” That being said, the purpose of this article is not to convince you that chakras are real, but rather to serve as an introduction to those who would like to explore deeper aspects of self-awareness. Yoga is a science of getting to know your true self through experimentation and introspection. So, for those of you questioning the nuances of your subtle body and the reality of the chakra system, I urge you to experiment with the basic visualization techniques and contemplation methods indicated above. Takeaway: Yoga Chakras, Colors and Locations According to the science of yoga, chakras are powerful vortexes of moving energy located along our major energetic channel, that govern different aspects of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. By understanding the role of the major chakras in our bodies and lives, we can begin to identify and balance each aspect of our energetic composition to embark on the path of holistic healing and well-being. ● Images: shutterstock/May_Chanikran, shutterstock/E.Va, shutterstock/New Africa happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Empathy | Resilience | Self care Written by Rachel Markowitz Rachel recently found herself over a decade deep in a worldwide wander guided by what she feels to be true. She’s been facilitating classes and workshops on yoga, meditation, self-exploration, and alternative ways of living since 2012, mostly in Latin America and Asia. These days, she spends most of her time looking at, walking around, or singing to a sacred mountain in southern India. Read more of her words at her to those who wonder blog.

Curious about cacao? Cacao ceremonies are grounded in intention and can benefit the mind, body, emotions, and spirit. Rhianna Quanstrom explores the power of ceremonial cacao and the history of this ancient practice. Gathered in a circle with a steaming cup of cacao, you enter a transformative experience. The cacao opens your heart and elevates your mind, helping you connect with those around you and to the light within. A cacao ceremony is grounded in intention, and with it come many benefits. Ceremonial cacao benefits all aspects of self, including the spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional. To better understand these benefits, let’s dive into what a cacao ceremony is, including its history, what cacao is, what you can expect during a ceremony, and how you can participate in one yourself. What is a Cacao Ceremony? A cacao ceremony is typically a communal gathering where people come together to receive the medicine of cacao. At its root, it is a spiritual experience that opens the heart and brings people together in harmony. Every cacao ceremony is unique, and traditional ceremonies can differ significantly from modern Western ceremonies. In both settings, there's usually a guide or shaman who leads the ceremony and directs the flow of activities. A cacao ceremony is not limited to a group setting and can be performed by individuals in their home. In essence, it's about receiving the medicine of cacao, which is ultimately a deeply personal experience. Cacao Ceremony History Cacao is deeply rooted in ancient (and modern) Mesoamerican cultures and history. Its use as a ceremonial plant dates back to the Aztecs and Mayans, who revered it as the “food of the gods.” They used cacao in spiritual ceremonies and rituals to unite the community and to honor important life initiations. For example, it was used in ceremonies for births, marriages, baptisms, and funerals. It was also used regularly by the temple leaders as an aid in communing with the Divine. Interestingly, it played an important role in sacrifices to the gods. Candles help create an intentional atmosphere during a cacao ceremony Cacao was sacred to these people and was woven into their culture, mythology, healing practices, and spiritual traditions. As such, their ceremonies held a more religious focus, with cacao serving as a vessel for honoring and communicating with their deities. In Western cultures today, cacao is not used in the same religious ways, though it remains a deeply spiritual experience when used with intention. Its history and cultural significance, however, should still be honored and respected. When participating in a cacao ceremony, it is respectful to acknowledge its origins and the people who have held this wisdom for centuries. As such, this wisdom helps us distinguish what ceremonial cacao is compared to modern chocolate. What is Ceremonial Cacao Exactly? Ceremonial cacao is quite different from the chocolate we know (and love!). Their differences lie in how they are processed and used. High-quality ceremonial cacao comes from native cacao plants in Central and South America. The beans are harvested from these native (and sometimes wild) plants before being minimally processed for consumption. “Ceremonial cacao benefits the mind, emotions, body, and spirit. Both the cacao itself and the community have been shown to improve one’s well-being.” The beans are first fermented and sun-dried, then sometimes lightly roasted before being stone-ground into a paste. This process retains cacao's natural compounds, which are highly beneficial for the body, making cacao a modern-day “superfood.” Furthermore, the cacao butter and solids are not separated in this phase, which is common for modern chocolate. The cacao paste is then simmered in hot water to make the thick beverage used for ceremonies. This drink doesn’t taste like a normal hot chocolate; it's much more bitter and earthy tasting. To enhance its flavor and potency, spices, natural sweeteners, and milk are sometimes added to the simmering cacao. For instance, a pinch of cayenne may be used to help “activate” cacao’s medicinal and spiritual properties. The cacao used in ceremonies is bitter and earthy tasting In contrast, modern chocolate is moderately to highly processed and is usually made from hybrid cacao varieties grown on large-scale monoculture farms. It's processed differently from ceremonial cacao and does not retain the same level of nutrients. Moreover, chocolate is enjoyed as a sweet treat, whereas ceremonial cacao is consumed with intention as a plant medicine supporting one’s spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. What Happens During a Cacao Ceremony? As mentioned above, every cacao ceremony is slightly different depending on the guide and setting. Even so, you can expect an intentional atmosphere — perhaps with cushions on the ground, candles, incense, or crystals — whether outside or inside. Once the participants of the ceremony have settled, the facilitator opens the space with welcoming words. During this phase, there may be discussion about the history and traditional uses of cacao. Each participant may be invited to set an intention for the ceremony, either inwardly or aloud. After the space is set, the cacao is served. The participants are invited to sit with the energy of the beverage, hold it to their heart, and drink the warm, thick liquid slowly. MORE LIKE THIS: Exploring Shamanic Healing: What to Expect Psychedelic Integration What is Ego Death? Meaning, Symptoms and Causes Once the cacao is finished, the ceremony moves into other activities, and it's here that they can vary greatly. There is typically some sort of movement, such as dance or yoga, conscious breathwork, and meditation. There can also be sound healing (crystal singing bowls, gongs, etc.), group sharing, or creative expression through song, art, or writing. While the outward activities unfold, you may notice a shift occurring within. Cacao naturally increases blood flow and softly opens the heart. You may feel emotions stirring and an easeful receptiveness towards those around you. When the heart softens and opens, love flows more freely and gracefully, and this is the energy that surrounds the sacred cacao ceremony. The Benefits of a Ceremonial Cacao Benefits Along with the love that holds the group together, ceremonial cacao benefits the mind, emotions, body, and spirit. Both the cacao itself and the community have been shown to improve one’s well-being. 1. Physical Benefits Research by the National Library of Medicine confirms that cacao is rich in nutrients and antioxidants, which help prevent and combat oxidative stress. The numerous flavonoids (plant compounds) in cacao have also been shown to improve cardiovascular health, reduce cholesterol levels, regulate inflammation, and support metabolism. Furthermore, cacao contains theobromine, which is a gentle stimulant that increases blood flow. This is what contributes to the heart-opening experience in the cacao ceremony. 2. Mental Benefits The compound theobromine also increases blood flow and oxygenation to the mind, enhancing clarity, focus, and memory. Another study by the National Library of Medicine found that cocoa-rich products improved participants' moods while lowering depression and anxiety. In addition, the practices woven into a cacao ceremony, such as meditation, movement, and breathwork, support mental calm and elevate one’s mood and happiness. 3. Emotional Benefits Energetically, cacao softens and opens the heart. While studies show the physical effects of this, there are also the emotional/energetic effects. When one’s heart opens and softens, emotions can move more freely. Whatever is just beneath the surface can start to rise, which is why it’s normal for emotions to become heightened during a cacao ceremony. It is simply energy moving. “Ceremonial cacao benefits the mind, emotions, body, and spirit. Both the cacao itself and the community have been shown to improve one’s well-being.” Because of cacao’s mood-boosting properties and the energy of the group container, there are typically feelings of joy and happiness during the ceremony. However, there can also be grief, sadness, or anger that rises to the surface for release. In essence, a cacao ceremony creates a safe space for emotional expression, helping one feel lighter and clearer. 4. Spiritual Benefits With the support of the community and cacao’s physical, mental, and emotional effects, one’s energy begins to harmonize. This allows for a deeper connection to self and the light within. This is amplified with the guided meditation and intentional movement that most ceremonies include. When one’s heart and mind are open and receptive, inner wisdom can more easily reveal itself to our consciousness. As such, there is a high possibility for one to leave a cacao ceremony with clarity on their path forward, insight into their healing journey, or peace with the feeling of being at home within themselves. The community of ceremonies brings people together Can I Do My Own Cacao Ceremony? It's possible. One can lead a self-guided ceremony and experience the profound healing, clarity, and sacredness of cacao in the comfort of their own home. However, if you’ve never participated in a guided ceremony, we highly recommend starting with a group cacao ceremony. When people gather together with the same intention and focus, the energy — and the potential for healing and insight — is amplified. Plus, you'll have the experience of working with cacao with a guide before doing it on your own. RELATED: What is the Peyote Cactus and Is It Legal? The 15 Best Prebiotics to Include in Your Diet The Gut-Brain Access: Understanding Mood and Food If you’re interested in ceremonial cacao training, we recommend checking out local or online training. Ceremonial cacao training will equip you with the knowledge and confidence to lead a group and help others experience the transformational healing available in a cacao ceremony. Takeaway: Ceremonial Cacao A cacao ceremony is a powerful, unifying experience that is all about connection — connection to self, community, and the spirit of cacao. With its gentle, heart-opening effects, a cacao ceremony helps one deepen into the love within and to the love of those around them. Along with cacao’s superfood benefits, it's a sacred plant long revered by the people who tend it. It should be treated with respect, and its ancient history should be remembered and honored with each sip. More than just a beverage, cacao is a bridge that connects us to a tradition of seeking the light within and connecting with the harmony of love. Whether you join a group, create an at-home ritual, or begin ceremonial cacao training, you can experience the healing, clarity, and sense of purpose that working with cacao has to offer. ● Images: shutterstock/Jozef Klopaca, shutterstock/Jozef Klopaca, shutterstock/Jozef Klopaca Written by Rhianna Quanstrom Rhianna Quanstrom is a freelance writer, herbalist, and spiritual seeker with a passion for nature-based healing and sacred wisdom. Her writing draws from years of experience with meditation, shamanic practices, plant medicine, dream work, and the reclamation of the Sacred Feminine. Discover more of her writing and poetry on her Mystic Love Substack.

Sonia Vadlamani explores practical ways to strengthen and balance the key areas – or pillars – of life for long-term happiness and success. Picture the scenario. You’re crushing it at work: hitting targets, achieving goals, and earning accolades from superiors and peers. On the surface, your life looks perfect. However, your peace and mental health are declining and your personal relationships are strained. If this sounds familiar, chances are you’re lacking an important element – balance – in your life. Life can often seem like a juggling act, with its myriad responsibilities and tasks to complete within limited reserves of time and attention. What’s more, the fast-paced world around us sometimes tends to reward the pursuit of perfection in one area of life – often our career – while other areas take a backseat. However, decades of research show that true happiness comes from finding harmony across multiple pillars, or key aspects of life, not just one. The good news is that achieving balance isn’t as complex as one may imagine. By understanding and intentionally working toward achieving balance across the key pillars of life, you can create the foundation for a more joyful and sustainable version of success. What are the pillars of life? The prominent Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung identified five pillars, or key elements, necessary for a happy and fulfilling life: Good physical and mental health Healthy personal relationships, including family and friendships The ability to perceive beauty in art and nature A reasonable standard of living and satisfactory work A philosophical or religious perspective that fosters resilience Jung emphasized the interconnectedness of the various aspects of life, with these pillars forming a comprehensive framework for a meaningful, fulfilling life. While his model remains important, experts have expanded upon it to better reflect the evolving needs of modern times. Learn to balance aspects of life for optimal well-being Psychiatrists, wellbeing coaches, and health advisors often highlight the key aspects of life that align with Jung’s pillars: Health pertains to both physical and mental wellbeing, supported by regular exercise, a nutritious diet, adequate sleep, and emotional regulation – the ability to recognize, perceive and manage your emotions effectively. Relationships include family, romantic partnerships, friendships, and social connections. The interplay of relationships and wellbeing has been extensively documented, indicating that cultivating meaningful connections is a crucial key to happiness. Financial health does not refer merely to monetary wealth, but financial security and the ability to meet your needs and occasional wants, without constant worry about expenses and bills. Work and Purpose include career and professional pursuits, along with activities that offer you a sense of purpose and the satisfaction of contributing to something greater. Play and personal growth represent your creative pursuits, leisure, hobbies, and interests, in addition to your efforts to advance your skills and knowledge. Some experts believe in additional pillars or key aspects, such as spirituality or volunteering, depending on individual needs and interests. It’s important for individuals to identify the core areas that are important for their sense of purpose and happiness. Why is balancing the pillars of life important? At times it’s normal – and even necessary – to focus on one area of life. For instance, situations like managing a health condition, taking on an extra work assignment to advance your career, or navigating a family emergency may require you to prioritize one aspect of life over others. However, research shows that the imbalance can become chronic if some areas are neglected too long, impacting one’s overall wellbeing. A 2020 study published in BMC Public Health analyzed data from 32,275 working adults across 30 countries in Europe. It showed a poor association between the adults' work-life balance and self-reported health. “By working toward achieving balance across the key pillars of life, you can create the foundation for a more joyful and sustainable version of success.” The statistics from North America echo a similar imbalance. A study by Elvtr.com involving 2,300 participants from the US and Canada revealed the alarming lack of work-life balance, indicating that 68% of the participants continue working even on vacations, and 57% feel anxious if they don’t check work emails during their time off. These findings point toward a worrying lack of boundaries between professional and personal life. Conversely, achieving balance across the pillars of life has been shown to generate a continuous cycle of positive outcomes. A Harvard Business Review study published in 2022 highlighted the benefits of corporate programs that support work/life balance, with employees reporting improved mental and physical health, lower stress and burnout, in addition to increased productivity and reduced employee turnover. MORE LIKE THIS: What the 12 Pillars of Well-Being Can Teach Us Rewiring for Joy: 8 Expert-Based Happiness Hacks The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits Indeed, the ability to step away from work, take care of our physical and mental health, and spend more time with friends and family strengthens our support system and makes us better equipped to handle stress. Reduced stress and financial stability, in turn, allow space and opportunity for personal growth, creative pursuits, and play – all of which contribute toward long-term happiness. Six ways to balance the pillars of life Balancing these different areas of life can seem overwhelming at first, but it is possible with intention and the right measures. Here are six practical ways to help you strike the right balance among the key pillars of life, thereby laying the foundation for lasting happiness: 1. Conduct a life audit Start with a thorough assessment of where you currently stand in each area of life. On a scale of 1 to 10, rate your satisfaction in each aspect: physical and mental health, relationships, finances, career, and play/personal growth. Identify the areas that are already robust and the ones that require more attention. Remember that this is an exercise in awareness and not of judgment – it can help you establish a baseline to help you focus your efforts and track the progress over time. For example, if your career scores an 8 but your health is at 4 and play is at 2, you can easily identify where you need to shift your focus. 2. Make health non-negotiable Health is the foundation the rest of the pillars are built on. Research highlights the substantial benefits of regular exercise, including stress reduction, improved immunity and lower risk of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, as well as mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. The best way to prioritize health, therefore, is by integrating it into your daily routines. Prioritize health as your key pillar of life Some simple ways to strengthen your health pillar are: Move your body daily: Whether it’s strength training, mindful running, or just a 30-minute brisk walk. Vary your routine to stay motivated. Eat nourishing, whole foods while minimizing processed foods, takeouts, and excess sugar. Get adequate sleep: aim for 7-9 hours of restful sleep each night. Find ways to manage stress. Happy habits like 10 minutes of meditation, yoga, or conscious breathing can keep stress at bay. 3. Build meaningful relationships with intention According to Harvard’s longest-running study on happiness, the strongest predictor of long-term happiness isn’t fame or wealth, but meaningful relationships. Yet, ironically, it’s often the first key area of life we tend to neglect as life gets busier. You can be intentional about nurturing connections by: Making time regularly for people who matter to you. Putting distractions at bay and listening mindfully when in their presence. Expressing gratitude and appreciation sincerely and frequently. Being present and offering support through happy and tough times. 4. Set clear boundaries between all areas of life The different aspects of life – work, self-care, and relationships – may often bleed into each other. While some overlap is acceptable, maintaining clear boundaries is easier when you can identify which pillars of life tend to overlap for you and how it affects your wellbeing. “Health is the foundation the rest of the pillars are built on. The best way to prioritize health, therefore, is by integrating it into your daily routines.” For example, if remote or hybrid work mode has made it more difficult to segregate your professional and personal life, you can devise methods to set intentional boundaries to avoid stress and burnout. Here are some effective ways to create boundaries: Turn off work notifications after hours to protect your energy for personal time. Allocate specific hours for different areas like work, play, relationships, and personal growth, and honor them all with equal importance. Limit your digital media consumption to a set screen-time quota. Avoid energy vampires and learn to say “no” to people and commitments that don’t align with your priorities. 5. Align your goals with purpose and meaning Working solely for financial gain may seem fulfilling at first, but the lack of meaning or purpose may make you feel empty and questioning about life’s purpose. Life feels enriched and enjoyable when you align your goals with what truly matters to you. Fuel your sense of purpose by: Contributing to causes that are bigger than yourself, eg, volunteering. Pursuing growth opportunities that help you advance toward your goals. Automating your work to make time for the other pillars of life. Engaging in acts of kindness. Setting time aside for personal growth and play to keep your spirit energized. Incorporate purpose as a pillar of life 6. Strengthen your financial foundation While money can’t buy you happiness on its own, financial security is cited as one of the top contributors toward better quality of life and overall wellbeing. Here’s how you can strengthen your finance pillar: Create a realistic budget that aligns your spending patterns with your short-term and long-term goals. Build an emergency fund that covers at least 3 months of expenses. Educate yourself about personal finance, smart investing, and wealth planning. Consult an expert for sound financial advice when needed. Failure to balance life pillars Failure to balance the pillars of life can result in more than temporary stress. Indeed, neglecting one or more aspects of life can create a domino effect that can disrupt one’s entire life structure, thereby impacting wellbeing. For instance, workaholics may achieve success at the cost of strained relationships and fading health. Similarly, those struggling with digital distractions or lack of a clear routine may find it difficult to stay productive and may face financial hardships. Digital overconsumption can also result in stress, anxiety, and digital burnout, according to a survey study of 202 participants published in Science Direct. The resulting burnout can also lead to a decline in physical and mental health, in addition to eroding one’s chances for long-term success and happiness. Takeaway: Balancing the pillars of life A fulfilling life doesn’t come from shining in just one aspect – it develops when we nurture all the key areas of life that make it meaningful. While the pursuit of a balanced life can seem elusive in this fast-paced world, Jung’s ageless wisdom, combined with decades of modern research, reminds us that genuine success stems from harmony in different pillars of life, namely health, relationships, financial security, fulfilling work, and personal growth. ● Images: shutterstock/VectorMine, shutterstock/Harbucks, shutterstock/Peopleimages.com - Yuri A happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Self care | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

The growing scientific interest and use of psychedelics in treating mental health issues is testament to their possible benefits. Psychologist Stanislava Puač J. explains why psychedelic integration via a coach or therapist should be an essential part of the journey. The use of psychedelic substances is one of those topics that few people are neutral about. Depending on the culture, context, and personal upbringing, these substances are either seen as gateways to deeper insight – or as a doorway to doom. The proponents argue that psychedelic experiences bring forth insights, emotional breakthroughs, or even profound spiritual awakenings. However, speaking from the perspective of psychology and psychiatry, the actual self-development work may only begin after the experience. This is where proper psychedelic integration comes in – a process that helps individuals weave newfound awareness into the fabric of their everyday lives. While psychedelic integration is gaining visibility in mental health, it is essential to acknowledge that the use of psychedelic substances remains legally restricted in many countries. In discussing the use of psychedelics we are not promoting or encouraging the use of such substances. Instead, we are investigating the integration of psychedelic experiences for those who have already had them — whether through legal therapeutic programs, clinical trials, or culturally sanctioned practices. Let’s dive into the world of post-journey transformation and explore the intricacies of making sense of altered states of consciousness. What Is Psychedelic Integration? Psychedelic integration is the process of understanding and assimilating the insights, emotions, and revelations that emerge during a psychedelic journey. It’s about finding a place for those extraordinary experiences in your life and your perception of the world. Psychedelic integration involves assimilating the insights that emerge from a psychedelic journey Additionally, it is more than just reflection. When you undergo psychedelic integration therapy, you embark on a guided journey of: processing your emotions making behavioural changes using your insights for therapeutic growth In recent years, psychedelic integration therapy has gained recognition as an essential part of the healing journey. Even more so, psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy (“professionally supervised use of ketamine, MDMA, psilocybin, LSD, and ibogaine as part of elaborated psychotherapy programs”) is considered a paradigm shift that might assist diagnostics and therapy of even “treatment-resistant” conditions. Psychedelic integration therapy is an essential aspect of these approaches. “Psychedelic integration is the process of understanding and assimilating the insights, emotions, and revelations that emerge during a psychedelic journey.” However, the idea of psychedelic integration is not new. For longer than we remember, indigenous traditions and shamanic cultures have emphasized post-ceremony rituals. The lessons believed to be received during altered states were placed within a broader life narrative with the help of a shaman (which, in the modern Western world, would be a psychedelic integration coach). In many Amazonian cultures, for instance, ayahuasca ceremonies are followed by periods of rest, reflection, and special regimes. RELATED: What is a Shaman and What Does a Shaman Do? What is Soul Loss and Retrieval? Healing Through a Shamanic Lens Exploring Shamanic Healing: What to Expect Today, a psychedelic integration coach and therapist draws from similar principles. The integration process itself can take many forms, depending on the nature of the experience and the individual’s specific needs. This brings us to the different types of psychedelic integration. Types of Psychedelic Integration The process of psychedelic integration should always be highly individualized. Yet, it usually incorporates three main dimensions: physical/somatic, psycho-spiritual, and emotional: 1. Physical or Somatic Integration The body often carries residue from psychedelic experiences. Some people find that the body “remembers” more than the mind, especially when they are new to psychedelic experiences. For this reason, somatic (or physical) integrations are essential. Bodywork, yoga, breathwork, or movement practices can all be used to release tension or even traumatic memories brought forth during the psychedelic journey. Another part of the mix is paying attention to sleep, nutrition, and rest. 2. Psycho-Spiritual Integration Many psychedelic experiences come with ego dissolution, unity consciousness, or encounters with archetypal imagery. Such powerful and extraordinary incidents require sensitive integration, as they can be disorienting as much as they are illuminating. Psychedelic integration therapy may use frameworks such as transpersonal psychology or mindfulness practices to explore these states. The goal is for the client to develop curiosity rather than fear. A coach or therapist should be used with psychedelic integration And in spiritual integration, a psychedelic integration coach helps the individual respond to questions like: “What does this mean for how I live?” or “How does this experience reshape my beliefs?” 3. Emotional Integration One of the most commonly reported effects of psychedelic journeys is the surfacing of buried emotions. Intense grief, rage, love, or vulnerability tend to burst out, and it becomes vital to work on their integration. “One of the most commonly reported effects of psychedelic journeys is the surfacing of buried emotions. Intense grief, rage, love, or vulnerability tend to burst out, and it becomes vital to work on their integration.” Therefore, the emotional dimension of psychedelic integration is about creating space to process these feelings gently and safely. A psychedelic integration coach guides the client through naming and exploring their feelings, identifying patterns, and maintaining a sense of grounding. Some of the techniques used are journaling or creative expression. Why Is Psychedelic Integration Important? Psychedelic integration is vital because it can mean the difference between a fragmented, overwhelming experience and one that becomes a gateway to profound growth. As authors who give practical guidelines on psychedelic integration for mental health specialists argue, psychedelic experiences might be translated as “mind-manifesting experiences”. In other words, the term “refers to the phenomenon of pulling the unconscious material to the conscious surface, allowing it to be accessed and processed”. Psilocybin, found in mushrooms, is a popular psychedelic Therefore, given the depth and intensity of what may emerge – unconscious material appearing in symbolic, emotional, or sensory form – psychedelic integration becomes essential. It is what transforms the experience into a healing one: It helps insights take root and transform one’s psyche. Psychedelic experience therapy helps work through emotional overwhelm, unsettling visions, or unresolved questions. A psychedelic integration coach or therapist provides compassion and structure so that a psychedelic journey can become restorative. It is a vital factor in extending the insights into everyday behaviour, relationships, and a sense of purpose. Without all of this, a psychedelic journey might remain a disconnected and confusing memory. How Long Does Psychedelic Integration Take? Once again, as with any growth process, there is no fixed timeline for psychedelic integration. It can unfold over weeks, months, or even years. Therefore, you’d do best not to be set on any specific “deadline”. You may require ongoing work with a coach or therapist to integrate the insights you received fully. A single session of psychedelic therapy may start a ripple effect that will put everything in its place over time. Or, you may find clarity within days as you experience an “A-ha!” moment explaining the meaning behind your experience. These differences are why you need the help of a psychedelic integration coach. They will help set a pace and guide you through the process. Initially, you may need to focus on grounding techniques and establishing emotional safety. Later, you may be ready for more in-depth work, such as identity shifts, making life changes, or exploring spiritual meaning. “Psychedelic integration is vital because it can mean the difference between a fragmented, overwhelming experience and one that becomes a gateway to profound growth.” Similar to mainstream psychotherapy (especially depth psychotherapies), not everything you will go through during the psychedelic integration will feel comfortable. Integrating these new insights and emotions might require you to grieve old patterns, let go of narratives, or make difficult decisions. Be self-compassionate and take as much time as you need. Where Can I Find a Psychedelic Integration Coach? As psychedelic-assisted therapies begin to enter the mainstream mental health field in some parts of the world, more professionals are receiving training in guiding the integration process. RELATED: What is the Peyote Cactus and Is it Legal? Given the delicacy of the process, when seeking a psychedelic integration coach or therapist, look for individuals with a license in mental health, trauma-informed care, or spiritual counselling. The person serving as a guide on this path must have training in ethical support practices because integration often brings up vulnerable material that needs to be held safely and ethically. Principal qualities to look for include: Certification in relevant coaching or therapeutic fields Familiarity with psychoactive substances and their psychological effects A non-judgmental attitude towards non-ordinary experiences A grounding presence that helps you feel safe and supported In addition to these qualities, it would be ideal for the coach or therapist to view integration as a process of co-creation and cooperation. They should be the guide, but not dictate the process, as psychedelic insights are non-linear—and your post-experience growth should be the same. Takeaway: Psychedelic Integration Psychedelic integration is the vital piece in the transformation puzzle. Think about it not as a luxury or a bonus part of the psychedelic experience. It is a necessary continuation of the journey. Traditionally, shamans were the guides. Nowadays, more and more mental health professionals are becoming interested and trained in supporting psychedelic integration. However, from ancient times to the present, the message remains consistent: the experience is just the beginning. Actual change occurs when you walk the path after the vision fades. ● Images: shutterstock/agsandrew, shutterstock/Rumka vodki, shutterstock/Rooom27 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Stanislava Puač J. Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.

Dreams act as a window to understanding the subconscious mind. Sonia Vadlamani explores whether dream therapy can be the key to greater self-awareness and better mental health. Perhaps one of the most intriguing areas of neuroscience and psychology, dreaming is a phenomenon where the brain creates vivid conscious experiences, even when disconnected from the external environment. Research suggests that dreaming is closely linked to sleep and memory consolidation – our dreams may largely be the fragments of the brain processing and storing away information from the waking day. This also indicates that the conscious experiences in our sleep are related to the underlying brain activity. Everyone dreams, yet many of us struggle to recall what we dreamt about. Neuroscientists estimate that dreams typically last between 5 and 20 minutes, yet we tend to forget about 95% of our dreams shortly after we wake up. Still, dreams can leave a strong emotional imprint – for instance, an unsettling dream can affect our mood and decision-making ability throughout the day. What is dream therapy? For over a century, therapists have considered dream interpretation a crucial part of psychotherapy, particularly for understanding the workings of the subconscious mind. Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung – the forerunners of modern psychology – both offered their distinct perspectives on dream therapy. In his seminal work The Interpretation of Dreams, Freud suggested that dreams are a window to the “unconscious” mind. He also proposed that dreams are often a symbolic expression of one’s repressed desires and unresolved conflicts, often rooted in psychosexual development and childhood experiences. Unlock the subconscious mind through dream therapy While Jung challenged his colleague Freud’s ideas, he credited dreams with having a more integrative purpose. According to him, dreaming helps resolve one’s emotional and mental issues, thus revealing hidden facets of their psyche, guiding them toward deeper self-awareness and greater personal growth. Today, many therapists continue to incorporate dream therapy in psychotherapy. While Freudian and Jungian approaches remain relevant, modern techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) regard dreams as a reflection of the dreamer’s current perceptions, feelings, and real-life situations. Dream journaling is another recommended technique used to track recurring themes, reveal the underlying issues, and support one’s therapy progress. Overall, dream therapy continues to be an effective tool to enhance self-awareness, boost mental and emotional health, and improve well-being. Dream therapists: getting help with dreams The role of a dream therapist, as the name suggests, is to help you uncover more profound meaning in your dreams. For example, if you’ve been experiencing nightmares or recurring dreams that often leave you feeling uneasy or anxious during your waking day, a qualified dream therapist can offer valuable insight. Using your descriptions of your most persistent or significant dreams, a dream therapist can help analyze and interpret how your brain processes your emotions and circumstances, thus guiding you toward better self-understanding. “Therapists continue to incorporate dream therapy in psychotherapy. Modern techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) regard dreams as a reflection of the dreamer’s current perceptions, feelings, and real-life situations.” Furthermore, dream analysis isn’t as uncommon a form of therapy as one might think. In fact, a survey of 129 therapists revealed that a staggering 92% included dream analysis therapy at least occasionally in their practice, noting that working with dreams allowed for an exploratory approach rather than action-driven one. That’s where a dream therapist can play a key role – by helping you understand your dreams, they offer an insightful approach into your thoughts, perceptions, emotions, and subconscious patterns. Dream therapy can help expand your self-awareness and bridge the gap between your perception and waking reality. In so doing, comprehending what your dreams are telling you through dream analysis therapy can open up new perspectives and opportunities for your personal growth. Lessons from dream therapy While, of course, not all dreams are the same, here are some themes commonly addressed by dream analysts: 1. Dreams rooted in symbolism Although not all dreams follow the same theme or are equally easy to recall, over time you may begin to notice recurring symbols or events in your dreams. While the meaning of these symbols or themes may not be evident immediately, expert dream analysts suggest that these patterns often reflect your mind’s effort to process unresolved emotions or real-life concerns you may be grappling with. MORE LIKE THIS: Visualization Meditation: How to Practise It 8 Manifestation Techniques: Understanding the Law of Attraction What is Shadow Work: 5 Ways to Get Started Researchers have also identified some common themes many people experience while dreaming. For instance, falling endlessly can signify loss of control over a real-life scenario, while being smothered may symbolize fear or uncertainty about a person or situation in your waking life. Frequent dreams of anger, rage, or lashing out may reflect pent-up frustration or stress you’re carrying throughout the day. 2. Dreams reflecting current emotions/situations Dream therapists often find that a client’s dreams are, in fact, a reflection of their mental and emotional state during waking hours. This is especially true for recurring dreams. For instance, if you’re faced with an impending deadline coming up for an important project, your dreams may feature feelings of fear, uncertainty, or cluelessness, mirroring the apprehension you’re experiencing in real life. Dream analysis therapy can open up new perspectives Additionally, researchers also emphasize that dreaming plays a crucial role in helping the brain process and organize the information from the day. The evidence indicates that our dreams might offer a realistic glimpse into our mental and emotional well-being. With the guidance of a qualified dream therapist, it’s possible to use these insights to identify and resolve the underlying issues in our waking lives. 3. Stress or mental health conditions as indicators for nightmares Recurring dreams and frequent nightmares often indicate unresolved stress or fear stemming from a traumatic past. Research suggests that dreams can simulate adverse situations, giving the mind a chance to explore alternate responses to resolve the same. In fact, studies also suggest that dreaming allows us to confront frightening situations that we tend to avoid in waking hours. “Comprehending what your dreams are telling you through dream analysis therapy can open up new opportunities for your personal growth.” Consulting a licensed dream therapist can offer useful insight into these recurring nightmares, helping you process your trauma and devise healthier ways to cope. Working with a dream therapist In essence, dreams offer a glimpse into one’s psyche and biology, and dream analysis therapy serves as a powerful tool to understand and explore this mind-body connection. While you may be able to interpret the basic themes in some of your dreams on your own, accurate dream analysis requires professional expertise. Working with a dream therapist involves in-depth discussions about your recurring dreams to gain deeper insight into your thought patterns, emotions, and perception of the world. A licensed dream analyst can help you understand your inner world and, in turn, suggest effective coping strategies and behavioral shifts that may be difficult for you to discover on your own. Takeaway: dream analysis therapy Dream analysis is by no means a novel concept in the field of psychotherapy. Indeed, pioneers like Freud and Jung recognized dreams and their study as a powerful tool for exploring the subconscious mind. Working with a dream therapist can help you access the inner realm of the mind, which is a vessel for your memories, aspirations, and thoughts beyond your conscious awareness. ● Images: shutterstock/santoelia, shutterstock/Marish, happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Mental health | Anger management | Abuse Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

As age gap friendships become increasingly common, Calvin Holbrook muses over the benefits older friends can bring to our lives, and how they can bring happiness to different generations. Living in London as a bright young thing during my 20s, plenty of my friends were older than me; indeed, many were already in their 30s or 40s. As someone who always felt older than their years, I lapped up my older friends' knowledge, broader cultural references and maturity. More recently, after hitting the big 4-0 myself, I struck up an age gap friendship with a guy in his 60s. I became particularly inspired by Jack, a senior American that stayed with me for a month in Barcelona. He was up out of bed at dawn, off exploring the city all day long, and out making new friends – and going on dates! I was in awe of his youthful spirit, energy and devil-may-care attitude – it was infectious and we clicked instantly. Similarly, I have no shame in saying my best older friend is probably my own mum: she may be 70, but sometimes we laugh together so much we both end up with our cheeks aching and tears in our eyes. Of course, admitting to having much older, adult friends when you’re a teenager would have probably resulted in tears of a different kind: from your friends shunning you for being such a loser (your best mate is your mum?). However, even in today’s youth-driven society, there are signs that the shaming of age gap friendships may be over, and that they're actually on the rise. This can only be a good thing, because, as we’ll discover, there are many benefits of having much older – or, conversely, younger – friends. Age Gap Friendships: the New Generation? Although there's currently little hard data on the subject, generation gap friendships appear to be flourishing. Numerous heartwarming stories have appeared in the press in praise of having older friends. Indeed, thanks to social media it’s now even easier to meet people with similar interests, meaning that age differences are increasingly irrelevant. RELATED: Understanding the Power of Friends And, with accommodation in crisis in major cities worldwide, younger people are increasingly moving in with older generations – such as the Baby Boomers – that often have spare rooms in their already mortgage-free homes. With almost 75 per cent of older people struggling with loneliness and isolation in the UK, intergenerational living has to be a win-win situation: giving the older person company and extra income, and the younger friend a more affordable place to live and someone inspirational to learn from. Age gap friendships can be illuminating In fact, the benefits of age gap friendships extend further. “Bridging the generation gap not only increases the friend pool, but it also expands and supports mental well-being,” Anna Kudak, Ph.D., co-author of What Happy Women Do told Good Housekeeping magazine. She continued, “friendships with older and younger people help broaden your perspective, which in turn allows you to have compassion and empathy in your day-to-day life.” And, there’s no reason why age gap friendships cannot be as close as those with friendships of similar ages. Psychology professor Robert Kurzban from the University of Pennsylvania has studied factors that affect friendship quality. He found that matching age was not a predictor of friendship closeness or quality. Older Friends: 8 Benefits of Age Gap Friendships While generation gap friendships may require a little more effort and understanding, it’s clear the rewards are many. So, here’s a deeper look at the benefits of having a much older – or younger – friend. 1. Widening perspective and losing preconceived notions Younger generations often assume the lives of older people are boring. Likewise, older generations often think of Millennials as both entitled and self-interested. Of course, these are stereotypes and false assumptions. Developing age gap friendships has the potential to widen your perspective around different age groups and see the truth beyond stereotypes. 2. Sharing valuable wisdom and insights Older friends have already ‘been there, done that’, meaning they have plenty of useful knowledge and experience younger generations can tap into. Older friends can help you navigate work life, financial or family difficulties, break-ups and other major life issues because – more likely than not – they’ve already experienced them. Haven’t got a clue about how to get a mortgage, split up with an unsuitable partner, or arrange a funeral? Your older friend can probably help. “Developing age gap friendships has the potential to widen your perspective around different age groups and see the truth beyond stereotypes.” Meanwhile, the younger generation tend to be more fluent in technology and issues around popular culture, meaning older friends can certainly benefit from their knowledge in these areas, picking up relevant new skills, especially in our increasingly online society. In fact, older friends might be learning abut a whole new world which is alien (yet exciting) to them. RELATED: Finding Your Tribe – the 7 Steps You Need to Take 3. Expand horizons and share similar interests Many of our friendships develop from shared experiences, such as being at school, work or through friends-of-friends. However, many of these people don’t necessarily share our interests and hobbies. As we engage in and pursue our interests over our lifetime, those that share our passions play a deeper role in our lives. This is where generation gap friendships often come into play. Because whether you’re into running, knitting or playing the cello, you’re sure to find inspiring people of all ages and make older – and younger – friends. It’s a great chance to connect around your passions and develop a deeper bond, learning or teaching around your specialist hobby. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Age UK's befriending brought Rose and Sarah together Age UK/YouTube 4. Sincerity and respect Older generations usually have a deeper sense of mutual sincerity and respect than younger generations. Additionally, according to researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, older generations are also less prone to drama, as they perceive more complexity in situations than younger people, who often go off the handle more easily. • HAVE YOUR SAY! What Are the Qualities of a Best Friend? • Younger people can therefore expect to have more sincere, frank and potentially more meaningful conversations with older friends (which perhaps they wouldn't get with friends of a similar age). Likewise, older friends will expect respect and sincerity in return from you, so it's great chance to develop these skills. 5. Their confidence may inspire you The elderly can sometimes come across opinionated to younger generations, and that’s because they usually are! That's because with age comes confidence: less caring about what others think, or the need to impress. “Older friends can help you navigate financial difficulties, break-ups, and other major life issues because they’ve already experienced them.” “Older people not only have the benefit of experience, they’re also less afraid of the opinions of others — so are more likely to say what they think,” Mark Vernon, author of The Meaning of Friendship, told the Daily Mail. “Their view often throws something unexpected into the mix.” Such confidence may inspire the younger friend in their discussions around life. 6. Observing a different view point Furthermore, age and growing older usually helps to shape our opinions, so another benefit of age gap friendships is the chance to see something from an entirely different point of view, one perhaps you would have never considered previously. Being exposed to the ideas of older generations offers food for thought and the chance to expand your mind in a new way. Likewise, younger friends can teach the older partner in age gap friendships different perspectives from a modern age. 7. They aren’t your parents Although a few of us may have very open relationships with our parents, being able to discuss our sex lives in intimate detail is probably off-limits! Not so for our older friends, who also probably won’t judge you or try to guide you in a way your parent might. RELATED: The 8 Types of Friends We All Need Indeed, older friends can be a bit like our grandparents or a friendly aunt or uncle: letting you do the things your parents forbid. And they will also probably enjoy indulging in these type of conversations that will help to keep them young at heart, too. 8. You’ll get an awesome cultural lesson You can learn so much about history and culture from older friends in age gap friendships (and vice versa). Older people possess a wealth of knowledge and life experience that can be tapped into and enjoyed: Millennials and Generation X-ers can discover new music, film, artists, as well as fascinating stories about the past that can inspire them or widen life horizons. Likewise, Baby Boomers and beyond may be curious to enjoy learning about the latest trends in music and fashion. In fact, all different age groups can get recommendations and new references that they cannot get from their own age group: what's not to love? Ideas on how to make older friends So, if reading about the benefits of age gap buddies has got you itching to pan out your friendship pool, how can you make some new older friends? Of course, friendships are best when they're natural, without being forced, and – if you pay attention – there are chances to make friends of different age groups every day. Cookin' up an age gap friendship But, specifically, you can try a few things to find friends that are that bit more mature. Firstly, as mentioned earlier, join a club around one of your hobbies: there will be people of old ages present, providing a unique chance to meet older pals. Secondly, get to know your neighbours in your building or local area that are older. Instead of just saying 'hi' in the corridor, invite them in for a chat over a coffee. Similarly, in the UK for example, charities such as Age UK run befriending services that pair younger people from the community with lonely, older people, helping to build community bonds and relieve isolation in the elderly. And, of course, using social media to join online groups is a great way to find friends of all different ages. The takeaway: age gap friendships It's clear that if we limit our pool of potential friends to those of our own age, we're missing out on all kinds of brilliant and inspiring folk we could be developing an important social bond with. For younger people, having an older friend or three means we have someone mature we can learn from and ask for life advice when needed. And for that older friend in any generational gap friendship, having a younger buddy will potentially ease isolation and also help to keep them connected in our fast-paced society, keeping them feeling forever young. As the old saying goes, age is definitely just a number, so if you don't already have some older friends, start building some new connections today! ● Main image: shutterstock/simona pilolla 2, shutterstock/AlessandroBiascioli, shutterstock/Bojan Milinkov happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Deep listening | Trust | Forgiveness Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also loves hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

Do you believe money doesn't buy happiness? Well, think again. Research suggests that more cash can improve well-being, but as Dee Marques finds out, it’s how you spend money that affects well-being. Read on to discover the 3 ways you can use money to buy happiness. 'Money can't buy happiness'. Just how many times have you heard that in your life? This saying reflects the generally accepted belief that happiness is a mindset that cannot be changed by how much—or how little—cash we have. But, sometimes—especially when going through financial difficulties—we may have felt feel that money and happiness are connected in some way. Indeed, at some point or another, we've all thought that we'd be better off with some extra cash in our pocket. When money’s tight, it's only natural to think that having a little more of it would make us feel better, less stressed about the future, and happier overall. Indeed, the link between mental health issues such as depression and anxiety and financial problems is well documented. “Studies have shown for decades that financial concerns are one of the leading causes of stress in our country,” says Ashley Agnew, director of financial wellness at Centerpoint Advisors in Massachusetts, USA. I've certainly had many sleepless nights worrying about how I'm going to handle incoming bills, growing debts, and securing an income as I grow older. These money worries have often lead to insomnia, poor sleep quality, and a deterioration in mental health. I'm sure this is something you can also probably relate too. Take note: money can't buy happiness (but it can buy cool shirts) So, if lack of cash can cause mental health problems, then why can't money buy happiness for us? Let’s take a mode detailed look at the research surrounding this long-standing debate. Can Money Buy Happiness? Here's What Science Says According to a report by The Psychological Society, money problems rank eighth in a list of the top 18 most common causes of stress in the United Kingdom. Similar findings have been reported in many other countries, including the United States, Australia, and Hong Kong. On the other hand, financial well-being is one of the main factors contributing to quality of life and overall happiness, so the concept of 'financial wellness' is definitely important when looking at why money can or can’t buy happiness. Financial wellness is defined as having enough money so that we don't have to worry about it or let it interfere with our relationships, health, and future plans. So, it would seem that the answer to ‘can money buy happiness?’ is yes—at some level—as long as you have enough of it. But how much is enough, and can financial wellness be quantified? “The link between financial problems and poor mental health is well documented. So, if that’s the case, why can't money buy happiness?” According to Nobel Prize winner and economist Angus Deaton, the benchmark—within the USA—can be established at $75,000 per year. In his research, Deaton found that below that amount, stress and negative emotions were reported more frequently. Of course, due to varying incomes around the world, that's not a fixed global figure, as it seems to vary from country to country. For example, studies have found that the amount needed for happiness was set much higher in Australia and New Zealand, but significantly lower in Latin America. Money Can't Buy Happiness: a Matter of Priorities Although the exact ‘price of happiness’ varies, most studies trying to answer the question ‘can money buy happiness?’ agree on one thing: once our basic needs are meet, the positive effects of money become less important when weighed against the negative aspects. RELATED: The 3 Things That Make People Happy During Economic Hardship Of course, having enough money can reduce financial anxiety, but researchers have also found that people don't feel happier once they earn over the threshold figure discussed. In fact, researchers from Purdue University and the University of Virginia suggest that—in the US—making more than $95,000 a year is actually linked to lower life satisfaction. The authors suggest this is because as people earn more money, they develop more materialistic goals and then feel the need to keep up with appearances—and that of their colleagues/friends. Maintaining this costly lifestyle makes it easier to fall into a spiral of dissatisfaction (known as the hedonic treadmill). A job promotion may mean a raise, but also more stress Furthermore, often money can’t buy happiness because earning more cash often equates with greater job responsibilities and therefore a reduced work-life balance. Indeed, bagging that promotion and connected salary increase could result in you working longer hours, having larger, more stressful responsibilities, and being chained to your desk for longer—all resulting in less quality time with family and friends (which is one of the essential 10 keys to happiness). So, the important thing here we can learn here is to be aware of the fine line between having enough and overconsumption, which can never be satisfied, and eventually will make us unhappy. The 3 Ways in Which Money Can Buy Happiness So, all the science points to the idea that having more money than we need won't necessarily make us happier. However, research also shows that if we use money on experiences and meaningful things it can boost our well-being. Indeed, science shows that when it comes to money and happiness, is not about how much money you have, but about how you spend it. An important part of finding balance between money and happiness entails using cash in a way that provides lasting satisfaction. For example, going on a shopping spree will only offer short-lived excitement, but investing in experiences can create the kind of memories—and joy—that last for ever. So, here are the three ways in which money can buy happiness: 1. Being Altruistic Studies show a strong connection between altruism and happiness. Some of the world's wealthiest people, like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, donate most of their wealth, because that action helps them to find meaning in life. Being altruistic with money is a win-win situation However, you don't need to be a tech billionaire to experience this: you can carry out small acts of kindness that involve minimal amounts of money, for example, giving some small change to a homeless person, setting up a monthly direct debit to your preferred charity, or sponsoring a friend that's raising cash for a good cause. RELATED: Random Acts of Kindness: 22 Ways to Spread Happiness Being altruistic in this way boosts your well-being, and the benefits of kindness are many and proven. 2. Buying Yourself Time Time is one thing I'm sure we'd all agree we would love more of. There just never seems to be enough time in a day to get things done; work, admin, home cleaning, family/child care, going to the gym/pool, etc. Money can buy happiness if you are using it to buy yourself extra time, enabling you to have more time to do things that really make you happy. So, if household chores take up too much of your time and if you can afford it, hire a cleaner. If doing your taxes or managing your company's finances takes you hours, let an accountant do it and free up your schedule. If you and your partner are always exhausted because of your children, spending a little on a babysitter once a week can buy you precious time to yourselves. “Money can buy happiness if you are using it to buy yourself extra time, enabling you to have more time to do things that really make you happy.” And you don’t have to be wealthy to benefit from any of these suggestions. A University of British Columbia, Canada, study of 6,000 people in the US, Canada and Netherlands showed that those who spent money on time-saving tasks reported higher life satisfaction, regardless of their income bracket. RELATED Spending Money: How to Buy Yourself a Happier Life The research, published in the journal, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, showed that individuals reported greater happiness if they used $40 to save time—such as by paying for chores to be done—rather than spending the money on material goods. “In a series of surveys we find that people who spend money to buy themselves more free time are happier–that is they have higher life satisfaction,” said Dr Elizabeth Dunn, a psychologist professor at the University of British Columbia. 3. Investing in Experiences Material possessions still have a high place in many cultures, especially in Western society. But ‘stuff’ gets broken, lost or loses it appeal after time. In fact, it’s proven that a non-materialistic approach to life is one step to boosting happiness levels. On the other hand, experiences create memories that will always stay with you. You can travel, take a cooking course, find a hobby you're passionate about, or simply be a tourist in your own town. Whatever brings joy to your heart, do it. Spending money on experiences can buy happiness because we can also connect it to our passion. For example, if you're into music, treating yourself and a pal to go watch your favorite artist in concert. Furthermore, new experiences can often open our mind, introduce us to new perspectives, and offer up the chance to experience awe—another happiness builder. Take off: money spent on experiences, such as travel, boosts well-being Happiness and Money: Wealth Affects Our Perception The last thing to consider when examining why money can or can't buy happiness is that happiness means different things to different people, so it's important to think about what makes you happy. Studies show that happiness is a complex emotion that can be experienced as a result of other positive feelings. For example, a 2018 study from the University of California and published in the journal Emotion, wealthy people tend to associate happiness with pride, a sense of achievement, and feeling accomplished. “People who make more money were more likely to experience happiness derived from their own accomplishments,” said lead author Paul Piff. Conversely, less well-off people are more likely to experience happiness in connection with emotions like compassion and love. “Often money can’t buy happiness because earning more of it often equates with greater job responsibilities and a lower work-life balance.” So, whatever happiness means to you, don't be afraid of making changes to find it, even if they seem scary at first. To some people, finding happiness could mean quitting high-paying corporate jobs to follow their calling. To others, it may mean taking up a less demanding job or arranging to work from home a few days per week, even if that means earning less. The Takeaway: Money Can't Buy Happiness Summing up it seems clear that there's a connection between money and happiness and between happiness and income, but it's not always a cause-effect situation. Although money matters, it’s far from being the only factor contributing to happiness. Indeed, when trying to answer the question ‘why can't money buy happiness?’, it’s useful to rethink our perception of well-being, avoiding comparisons with others, and trying to find out what happiness means to us at an individual level. Moreover, in our pursuit of happiness, it makes sense to focus on meeting our needs and creating a vault of experiences and memories, rather than a life full of material possessions, without forgetting to be appreciative and grateful for what we already have. So, it's clear that money can't buy happiness, except when you spend your cash in the specific ways of altruism, buying time, and experiences. Happy spending! ● Images: shutterstock with Muh.Imron, Shakirov Albert, Alex From the Rock and unsplash happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Freedom | Charity | Global Income Distribution Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Sometimes the obstacles we face in life paralyze us, leaving us trapped. Stanislava Puač J. shares 8 tips on overcoming challenges and restarting our lives. Even though many of us hope for a carefree life, it just will not happen. Challenges will always be on our path. Sometimes, it may seem as if the walls ahead are simply too high to surmount. Yet, overcoming challenges is a part of how we learn and grow. Indeed, obstacles give us an opportunity to become the best versions of ourselves. History is filled with examples of people who learned how to trounce impediments and develop psychologically from the process. Take Demosthenes, for example. He is now recognised as the greatest of ancient Greek orators. Nonetheless, when he was young, he had a severe speech impediment. He overcame this barrier through a self-designed, disciplined practice. Einstein is another famous example of how overcoming obstacles can result in greatness. Apart from not speaking until he was three, he constantly faced doubt and under-appreciation by adults throughout his childhood and youth. Still, he found a way to develop his talents and become one of the most recognised names in human history. In this article I'll explain how you can perceive overcoming challenges as a means of psychological growth. I'll explain why we need to fight the obstacles we face — and why we need to do it adaptively. Finally, I'll give you eight science-based tips for overcoming obstacles in a way that helps you grow and become braver and more confident. Why you need to overcome obstacles The examples from the introduction illustrate something that is called overcompensation in psychology. When we have an actual or perceived deficit of a sort, we will usually try to offset it by developing it into a particular forte. This strong point will then serve as a counterweight to the shortfall. Overcompensation means going above and beyond what is necessary. Demosthenes could have merely fixed the speech impediment and lived an average life. But no. He became the greatest orator. Dismantling self-doubt is a key step in overcoming challenges Examples of overcompensation reveal how overcoming challenges opens the path to psychological growth in life. Albeit going that far is not necessary for every obstacle we face, we must say that avoidance is usually unhealthy. When we face hurdles, we are presented with a choice. We can either commit to overcoming challenges — or to failing or stagnating. Here’s why. When you avoid dealing with difficulties you risk experiencing a range of adverse emotions. Some of the most common ones are anger (for your aspirations remaining unfulfilled), guilt (because you know that you did not try hard enough), or envy (when you witness others getting what they want). You are also bound to become stressed because problems rarely just disappear. A 2016 study from the University of Amsterdam found that avoidance of difficulties leads to a diminishing sense of control. In turn, psychological well-being and mental health declines as rumination takes over. “When you avoid dealing with difficulties you risk experiencing a range of adverse emotions, such as anger, guilt or envy.” Self-doubt, anxiety and depression could come as a result of continual failure to achieve goals. Even though it might feel good to rationalise the reasons why you did not realise your dreams at first, empirical findings reveal that this defence mechanism is associated with emotional disorders. Therefore, even though overcoming challenges may feel scary at times, it is vital for your well-being. As you progress through hurdles on your path towards attaining goals, you are simultaneously growing as a person. You develop self-confidence, learn to move beyond self-indulgence, and develop adaptive responses to whatever life throws your way. Overcoming challenges: 8 tips How we respond to complications is highly individualised. It could be affected by our past experiences, mental habits, as well as our personalities. Seeking and overcoming challenges seems embedded in some people’s temperament and personality structure. Nonetheless, whether we are naturally geared towards adventure or not, we will hit an impediment here and there. Overcoming obstacles will be easier if you incorporate some of the following tips on productive coping with challenges. 1. Analyse the problem well It may seem obvious, but the first step to overcoming challenges without difficulty is understanding the problem ahead. Still, many of us fail to approach the issue analytically. You may be amazed by how often we succumb to apprehension, avoidance — or daydreaming and unsubstantiated optimism, on the other hand — instead of scrutinising the problem critically. Therefore, examine where the problem truly lies. Is it a real or perceived obstacle? Which aspect is the most important one? In what order do you need to tackle the elements of the difficulty? What is it that you can and cannot impact? What resources do you need — new knowledge and skills, others’ help, time, or determination? 2. Consider it an opportunity, not a threat A common obstacle to successfully overcoming challenges is our mindset. I will be the first to admit that I'm not the type of person who goes about looking for challenges and adventures. Even more concretely, I used to feel threatened by any new and tricky situation. Still, what I found very useful is changing my perspective. What may not come naturally to you could be developed through practice. RELATED: Tragic Optimism: An Antidote to Toxic Positivity Those who enjoy challenges — and thrive facing hitches — see every obstacle as an opportunity to become greater, better, different. You, too, can train your mind to think of hindrances as a chance to learn something new and evolve rather than to suffer. 3. Examine and dismantle your self-doubts Overcoming obstacles is often made more difficult by your own unhelpful thoughts, especially if you're used to avoiding facing challenges. When you look at your records and see but a few instances in which you fought a problem head-on, it's easy to succumb to self-doubt. Doubting your abilities, or even loathing yourself for lack thereof, will get you nowhere. What you need to do is to examine and knock down your lack of faith in your skills. Where does it come from? What thought comes to your mind when you anticipate trouble? How does it make you feel? How realistic is such a belief? Could you think about the situation differently (hint — yes, you could)? Support from friends is a key factor in overcoming obstacles 4. Keep a record of your past successes One helpful way to deal with self-doubt more effectively is to document one’s successes. Studies show that many people tend to overestimate their shortcomings. At the same time, they underestimate how well they can address problems. As a result, their self-perception gets distorted, making them blind to their abilities. Make a CV of your past accomplishments. Do not hold back but praise yourself for everything you have achieved so far. Remember the times when you overcame snags with triumph. What qualities did you need to mobilise to overcome challenges? Write them all down. And then, come to this “CV” whenever you feel a lack of confidence creeping on you. 5. Make a solid plan Once you are clearer on where the problem lies, what unhelpful thoughts might be hindering your success, and which talents you can rally to help you in overcoming challenges, it's time to plan how to do it. In other words, you are highly unlikely to accomplish your goals if you do not combine a belief in yourself with a solid action plan. “The first step to overcoming challenges is understanding the problem ahead. Still, many of us fail to approach the issue analytically.” Define the goal and communicate it to those who need to be involved. Make a step-by-step map of action that is clear and easy to follow. Make sure there are tangible steps and smaller objectives on the way to the final goal. Measure the results — and celebrate them, too. 6. Assemble a circle of support Overcoming obstacles is much easier when you have someone to lean on. Science has shown that social support has been confirmed to be one of the crucial factors in psychological well-being over and over again. Somehow, life problems tend to seem much bigger when you feel alone in dealing with them. So, ask for support from the right people. Seek out those who will be supportive, accepting and realistic. Whether it's your friends and family, a support group, or a psychotherapist, an encouraging social environment can do wonders for your self-esteem. It will highlight and nurture your ability to overcome any issue ahead. A helping hand from friends is essential for overcoming challenges and difficulties 7. Meditate Meditation is a technique that can help you integrate the tips we have spoken about above. Meditative practice teaches you to calm your mind and free it from ruminative apprehensions and adverse emotions. It gives you the mental flexibility and physical tranquillity you need for overcoming obstacles with success. Finally, after meditation, you will notice greater clarity in understanding the problem ahead and how you can tackle it. 8. Pledge to self-care Let me be straight — overcoming challenges can be hard work. It's easy to disregard healthy habits when you are entangled with problems. This is why you should commit to a self-care practice and ensure you are well cared for. Broadly speaking, all the tips here can be seen as a form of self-care. When you perceive a problem rationally, address unhelpful beliefs and develop a growth mindset and self-confidence, you care for yourself. The same goes for gathering support or meditating. “Once you're clear on where the problem lies and which talents you can rally to help you in overcoming challenges, it's time to plan how to do it.” However, what we have in mind here is more specific. It's a well-known set of recommendations to make sure you do not neglect to care for your mental and physical needs. Therefore, eat healthily and regularly. Set up a better sleep routine to ensure both the quality and quantity of sleep you need. Exercise to release some of the accumulated stress. Socialise with the right people and consume quality media content. Finally, pamper yourself and treat yourself to something pleasant and healthy, like a relaxing massage. You will find your mental batteries charged as a result of such a self-care routine, and you will be much more willing to embrace the opportunity to grow from overcoming challenges. Takeaway: Embrace overcoming challenges It's perfectly natural to feel anxiety — dread, even — when facing major challenges in our life. The more important the goal, the graver the fear of not attaining it. You may even feel totally paralyzed. However, obstacles tend not to go away just because we look the other way. So, take the challenges life throws at you head-on. This will show you a doorway to an unbounded field for psychological growth. Embrace the hurdles and snags. Be courageous and believe in yourself. Even though overcoming challenges and difficulties may feel like you are in freefall at times, be at ease. There is a new 'you' that will catch you on the other side of the obstacle you're facing. • Main image: shutterstock/Maridav, shutterstock/Viktoria Kurpas, Hitdelight happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Self-help | Authenticity | Coaching Written by Stanislava Puač J. Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.

Healing your wounded inner child takes dedicated work and patience. So, how can you tell if you're succeeding? Psychologist Stanislava Puač J. explains the key signs that your inner child is healing, from choosing healthier relationships to responding instead of reacting. Healing the child within can feel elusive and vague at first. Even a little scary. Yet, as you move through the inner child work of listening to and caring for that younger Self, the signs your inner child is healed begin to emerge. It is rarely a dramatic overnight transformation – more of a rewiring behind the scenes. The inner tension starts to soften. Old triggers lose their grip. Bit by bit, you realize that inside of you, there’s now a healed inner child. So, how do you know if it’s working? And how long does it take to heal your inner child? Before we dive in, let’s pause to remember what healing the child within actually means and why it's important to embark on this journey. Healing the Child Within Healing your inner child involves reconnecting with the parts of yourself shaped by childhood experiences — especially painful or unmet emotional needs — and offering them the care they needed but didn’t receive. But why dig out past hurts in the first place? According to psychological research and practice, unhealed childhood wounds tend to cause extensive adversities in adult life. They affect our mental well-being, relationships, and even physical health and longevity. There are many signs your inner child is being healed Luckily, as a recent study by Trivedi, et al published in The International Journal of Regression Therapy shows, an intervention aimed at healing your inner child, “effectively improves participants’ mental health [...]. Moreover, the data show that the positive effects tend to be more pronounced with a longer duration of the intervention”. Whether your inner child work involves therapy, journaling, or using visualization and reparenting techniques, the path is rarely linear. But progress does leave footprints: here are some of the signs your inner child is healed. 9 Signs You’re Healing Your Inner Child A healed inner child doesn’t come to you with a memo saying: “Woohoo, everything’s perfect!” Nonetheless, if you have walked the path for a while, you will start noticing the signs your inner child is healed (or getting there). For me, it was when I realized I wasn’t entering a full panic mode when a man sitting next to me in public transportation started shouting (which would typically be a massive trigger). My healed inner child entered the stage as quietly as that. If you notice some of these signs your inner child is healed, take heart: change is unfolding. 1. You Respond Instead of Reacting Like my personal example above, specific triggers used to make you spiral into shame or lash out. Yet, now, you manage to pause before reacting. You recognize where the emotion comes from, accept it’s there, and choose how to respond. This is one of the most prominent sings your inner child is healed, because it means your childhood hurts no longer take over whenever you hit a bump on the road. 2. You No Longer Abandon Yourself to Keep Peace The moment you choose yourself over what others (or internalized others) expect you to be, everything changes. Carl Jung, the Swiss psychotherapist and psychologist, spoke about this. “Healing the child within can feel elusive at first. Yet, as you listen to and care for that younger Self, the signs your inner child is healed begin to emerge.” And a key marker of a healed inner child is precisely the ability to honour your needs and peculiarities. You are no longer willing to disappear just to keep the peace and avoid making waves. 3. You Feel Comfortable with Healthy Boundaries A natural continuation of the previous sign your inner child is healed is setting healthy boundaries. Your boundaries no longer resemble walls – nor are they non-existent. Nowadays, you have doors with locks you choose to open (or not). When you’re healing the child within, you begin to set boundaries from a place of self-respect. 4. You Can Self-Soothe Instead of Spiral Another vital sign your inner child is healed is when you stop spiralling into ruminating thoughts. Instead of incessantly asking yourself: “Did I do something wrong? Will they still like me if I say no?”, you now reach out for comforting behaviors, such as journaling, conscious breathing, music, and movement. You can now soothe your inner child from the position of a kind, attuned caregiver. A healed inner child will sooth instead of spiral 5. You Reclaim Joy and Playfulness When we live as adults with a hurt inner child, we tend to be overly adapted and efficient. In a sense, we’re a bit too adult. There’s little room for spontaneity. RELATED: What Playfulness Can Do For Your Relationship The moment you start letting yourself be silly and creative, you probably carry a healed inner child inside. Why? That freedom to play signals that the inner child feels safe enough to come out again. 6. You Sit Happily With Your Feelings Healing doesn’t mean you stop feeling sad or angry. But, unlike before, when you wouldn’t trust your emotions, you start acknowledging and validating them. You no longer feel the need to either suppress or dramatize your feelings to be taken seriously. 7. You Attract (or Choose) Healthier Relationships We tend to repeat the patterns from our family of origin. Unfortunately, if these were unhealthy, you have likely picked the wrong people to surround yourself with. Nonetheless, as you start healing your inner child, you begin to expect kindness and honesty from others. And you grow the capacity to give and receive healthy love. “The most profound sign your inner child is healed comes with a quiet sense of worth that doesn’t waver based on productivity, appearance, or approval.” What's more, a 2024 study by Loo Yee Hing from the International Grafinity Association of Malaysia revealed that such healing can be built upon further. A program aimed at healing the inner child among parents resulted in “transformation [that] was characterized by heightened self-awareness, improved emotional regulation, improved parenting skills and strategies, strengthened parent-child relationship that foster a suitable relationship”. 8. You Let Go of Harsh Self-Criticism Your inner critic’s voice has softened. Instead of cruel remarks about how incompetent you are when you make a mistake, you catch yourself offering self-compassion. That shift from punishment to patience and understanding signals your adult Self is making decisions about who and how worthy you are — and not the people who hurt you when you were a child. Dropping self-criticism: one sign your inner child is healing 9. You Know You’re Worthy – Even When You Struggle Finally, the most subtle yet profound sign your inner child is healed comes with a quiet sense of worth that doesn’t waver based on productivity, appearance, or approval. You now judge your worth and have integrity and an identity grounded in self-awareness and recognition of both your strengths and weaknesses. How Long Does It Take to Heal Your Inner Child? If you’re wondering how long it takes to heal your inner child, you’re not alone. It’s a common question, and a fair one. Unfortunately, you’re not going to receive a definite response. As with any self-development work, the road you need to travel before you live with a healed inner child varies. It is your personal path, and it's impossible to say what to expect in general. One friend told me he felt a massive improvement after only two therapy sessions. Most people begin to feel major shifts in a matter of months. Others walk this path for years. It all depends, among other factors, on: The severity of childhood trauma and adverse experiences you’re trying to heal Your current support system Consistency of your healing practices So, rather than aiming for a finish line, it’s more helpful to think in terms of layers. For example, you may heal the outer layer rather quickly, one that is tied to your self-confidence. And then, you might discover a deeper layer around trust or intimacy. Therefore, think about moving in an upward spiral, and peeling one layer after the other. Takeaway: Signs Your Inner Child is Healing Healing the child within is one of the most powerful journeys you can take. It’s as close as you can get to changing your past. No, wrongdoings won’t get undone. But you will transform how your past lives in you. And no, the transformation most likely won’t feel dramatic. Yet, you will wake up one morning, realizing that you have quietly become less anxious, kinder, and more in touch with the world and yourself; that you have shown up for yourself in ways no one else could. ● Images: shutterstock/Undry, shutterstock/dot.studio, shutterstock/Edge Creative happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Confidence | Authenticity | Resilience Written by Stanislava Puač J. Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.

Failure to self-validate can lead to problems such as impulsive behaviour and the inability to manage emotional responses. Psychologist Stanislava Puač J. explores why many of us fail at it and explains how to validate yourself successfully in 5 steps. Most of us are great at validating others. We acknowledge their emotions, recognize effort and success, and support individualism and self-expression. However, the majority of us are equally lousy at self-validation. We all get angry, disappointed, sad, jealous, scared, demotivated. Ideally, one would accept and be able to regulate these emotions. Instead, many people immediately think: “I shouldn’t feel this way. I’m being ridiculous!” As a result, coping with different experiences becomes exceptionally challenging. Reactions seem to be out of control. If you struggle with similar issues, you probably haven’t mastered the art of self-validation. The ability – or inability – to validate ourselves intertwines with much of what we go through in life. In this article, we'll give you five ways to develop self-validation, so you can get to grips with this essential skill. Why self-validation is essential In simple terms, self-validation is accepting your own internal experience: your thoughts and feelings. Validation and self-validation are widely acknowledged problems in psychology, philosophy , and sociology. The roots of the problem of self-validation lie in the vital human need to be recognized and supported. According to Iser’s work in The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, recognition has critical psychological importance. Others’ feedback is essential for one’s practical identity to form. We could also touch upon Hegel’s concept of ‘struggle for recognition’. In its simplest, it points us towards understanding the source of our need to be validated. When we are misrecognized by others, our relationship with ourselves is hindered, or even destroyed. Self-validation means accepting your thoughts and feelings Such strength of humans’ need to be validated by others led many thinkers to voice the significance of self-validation. Rare is a psychologist or a philosopher that would dispute the ultimate value of autonomy and authenticity. The independence that comes with the capacity to be one’s own judge could be expressed with a quote by Fromm: “Obedience to my own reason or conviction (autonomous obedience) is not an act of submission but one of affirmation. My conviction and my judgment, if authentically mine, are part of me. If I follow them rather than the judgment of others, I am being myself.” - Erich Fromm, On Disobedience. What happens if I lack self-validation skills? In slightly more practical terms, the inability to self-validate can lead to a range of adverse outcomes: negating your thoughts and emotions can lead to a paradoxical effect in which you become even more affected by them, as research has demonstrated. When you deny and suppress your inner experiences, you lose control over them. You could think of it as an instruction to not think about a pink elephant. Your cognition still rests on the negated content. You could face many adversities in your personal and professional life because a lack of self-validation can cause impulsive behaviour and emotional dysregulation. You could be more prone to risky behaviours, addictions, eating disorders, to name a few. “Although the potential outcomes of a lack of self-validation sound rather bleak, you should not feel discouraged. That's because learning how to validate yourself is a skill that can be developed.” Your interpersonal skills could also suffer, leading to a range of other problems in your career or relationships. Your love life and friendships could be chaotic, codependent, and intensely challenging for everyone involved. Finally, you might be vulnerable to depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, PTSD, and other emotional disturbances. When you cannot validate yourself, you are driven to maladaptive coping. This, however, eventually leads you far away from well-being and mental health. Why do we have a hard time to self-validate? There is no definitive response to the question above. If you don't know how to validate yourself, a few things could have happened: i) Attachment styles If the inborn need to be safe, cared for, and recognized was unfulfilled, we might have become unable to self-validate. For example, you might have developed an anxious attachment style. How your parents interacted with you as a child serves as a blueprint for your adult relationships. MORE LIKE THIS: Inner Child Work and Therapy: How to Heal Past Wounds Radical Self Care: 8 Ways to Put Your Well-Being First, Unapologetically How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: 7 Techniques That Work You might not have learned to be self-sufficient and recognize your worth. As children, we need adequate support from our caregivers to develop a sense of security about our emotions, decisions and actions. Research reveals that people with an anxious attachment style have a strong need for social approval. In other words, they need others to validate them. ii) Modelling Another option was that your caregivers did not make it possible for you to mimic self-validation. When we are children, we acquire many traits and habits by modelling. If your primary attachment figure invalidated themselves, you probably learned to do the same. Research shows that emotional and behavioural self-validation and self-regulation are skills that are transferred from parent to child. iii) Adult trauma You might also have started doubting yourself due to a traumatic experience at any point in your life. Both anecdotal reports and scientific studies confirm that being a victim of abuse, for example, could make you doubt your self-efficacy and self-worth. Most importantly, your readiness to accept, experience and address your emotions could have been disturbed. When one is in an abusive relationship, for example, they gradually lose their sovereignty. Self-validation becomes a distant memory. How to Self-Validate: 5 Steps Although the potential outcomes of a lack of self-validation sound rather bleak, you should not feel discouraged: That's because learning how to validate yourself is a skill that can be developed. Even if your early experience geared you towards invalidating yourself, you now have the opportunity to change that. Try these 5 techniques to develop self-validation. 1. Practise mindfulness Mindfulness and self-validation go hand in hand. You cannot validate what you don’t recognize. You need to develop a non-judgmental awareness of your experiences, as they happen and when they happen, to validate them. Being present is the first level of validation. This means acknowledging your inner experience without avoidance or distraction. Mindfulness will help you regain grasp over your emotions and build up strength to cope with them. It's possible to develop self-validation skills Evidence from fMRI studies supports this argument. Individuals who were grieving a loss of a loved one were taught mindfulness techniques for eight weeks. When they were tested afterwards, their scores revealed a significantly better ability to regulate emotions. They also had fewer symptoms of depression, anxiety and grief. fMRI suggested that the participants learned to gain cognitive control over their feelings. They were no longer overwhelmed by them. 2. Be brutally honest with yourself Being imperfect stings, we know. Indeed, accepting imperfection is difficult for most people, especially so if they were taught that being great at something equals being worthy. If your parents and social environment were too demanding, it might have resulted in unhealthy perfectionism. Such a form of perfectionism has adverse effects on mental health, as confirmed in empirical research. If your sense of self-worth is equated to being flawless, you might have a tough time even noticing (let alone accepting) your blemishes. Nonetheless, when you want to learn the art of self-validation, you need to be brutally frank with yourself. MORE LIKE THIS: Perfectionism and Anxiety: 7 Ways to Cope I Feel Unheard: Why Does Nobody Listen To Me? How to Find Your Authentic Self: 8 Techniques Notice the emotions and thoughts you don’t feel proud of. Admit to yourself your shortcomings. Own up to your genuine reactions and experiences. Yes, there will be many unpleasant facts. It’s alright – no one is watching! 3. Develop your emotional intelligence Although there are a few relevant emotional intelligence (EI) models, psychologist Daniel Goleman’s work is among the most popular. He proposes that EI consists of five constructs: self-awareness, self-regulation, social skill (being able to get along with others), empathy, and motivation. You can notice how EI is necessary for your ability to self-validate. With EI comes the ability to reflect on your experiences and emotions. Luckily, EI is a skill that can be learned. Therefore, learning how to validate yourself means you must also start developing your EI. “Mindfulness and self-validation go hand in hand. You cannot validate what you don’t recognize. You need to develop a non-judgmental awareness of your experiences, as they happen and when they happen.” When you can accurately name what you're feeling, you can then start to acknowledge and accept your emotional response. As a result, you will build healthy relationships with others without needing their recognition to feel good or motivated. You will build emotional autonomy. 4. Connect with your body’s responses Some people have grown so detached from their inner world that they need to tap into their bodily reactions first. In this regard, some elements of body-centred psychotherapies could be used. According to this group of approaches to psychotherapy, the body is not just something we have. We are our bodies. This means we live as a whole, as an inseparable totality of body and mind. When we learn to validate who we are and what we experience, we should include our body’s responses into the equation. Where are your emotions? What does your body do when you feel in a certain way? How does it respond to people and events? What is it trying to tell you about yourself? You could try a body awareness meditation to help you get started. A combination of body awareness with mindfulness and accurate, honest reflection we suggested above will help you develop a sense of being rooted inside of your own experience. Use meditation to connect with body's responses 5. Self-validate by acknowledging your past experiences The final piece of advice in developing self-validation skills is to learn how to validate yourself by acknowledging your past experiences. They fused within yourself and made you into who you are now. You need to practise recognizing both positive and adverse experiences – and their consequences. How will this help you practise self-validation? Let's say that you had an intense reaction to your partner’s criticism of something you did. Try not to think: “You acted like a madman there!” You could self-validate this reaction by saying: “It’s understandable that you felt this way. Your mother/father would punish you harshly for failures, and you are still overly sensitive to criticism”. Such a validation does not mean that you condone erratic behaviour. It means that you allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you're feeling. You also name the emotion and understand its cause. These are the first steps to get into a self-validating mindset. Additionally, these are the first steps towards growing as a person. These five steps build up towards self-validation development as taught in dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT). According to DBT, there are three steps to validate yourself and your emotions – acknowledge, accept and understand. This worksheet could help you practice self-validation in everyday situations, as well as with more intense or past emotions. The Takeaway: Self-validate to Autonomy Self-validation is freedom. Freedom to experience life as it is: both the beautiful and the ugly. It gives you self-determination in picking your path. You get to do it independently of others’ influence, be it conscious or subconscious. When you learn to rely on yourself for validation, you gain the liberty to be genuine and own your experiences. Therefore, in the spirit of autonomy that we are propagating here, we invite you – acknowledge yourself and allow your authentic Self to exist! • Images: shutterstock/Victoria Chadinova, shutterstock/G-Stock Studio, shutterstock/Prostock-studio, shutterstock/Anatoliy Karlyuk happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Empathy | Resilience | Stress Written by Stanislava Puač J. Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.

Feeling overwhelmed by modern life? Choosing to live more simply could be a good move to improve your happiness. Calvin Holbrook explores how to live a simple life and digs into the science behind the benefits it can bring, such as finding your purpose and increased focus. Since hitting my 40s, the idea of living simply appeals to me more than ever. While residing in large cities has provided plenty of opportunities for entertainment and excitement, I feel increasingly overwhelmed and anxious by excess noise, over-stimulation, distractions, and ever-increasing crowds. As a result, I find myself seeking out a quieter, more simplistic way of life – being closer to nature in a peaceful setting. While some of you may be thinking to do the same, living a simple life doesn’t have to mean shacking up alone in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere (although that actually sounds quite appealing). In fact, there are many practical and not-so-drastic ways of living simply – and the benefits of doing so are proven by science. Living simply can allow for more family quality time So-called 'simple living' or ‘voluntary simplicity' is a recognized lifestyle steeped in history; one that minimizes consumption and the pursuit of wealth and material goods. Individuals choose voluntary simplicity in order to attain a more modest and meaningful life. Many religious groups, including the monastic orders from the Middle Ages to the modern-day Amish and Quakers include simple living as an essential element of teachings. More recently, the modern simplicity movement arose from the counterculture movement in the 1960s and 1970s. Then, in 1981, this movement gained a new moniker with the release of Duane Elgin’s book Voluntary Simplicity. In it, he explained the virtues of “a way of life that is outwardly simple, inwardly rich.” During the 1990s, the concept of minimalism, which includes elements of simple living, also became popular. How Can I Live a Simple Life? While minimalism is mainly focused on reducing or giving up possessions, living a simple life includes other elements. Choosing simplification creates a life filled with meaning; a life lived on your own terms. It helps create the time and space to pursue your true interests and passions. Living simply flies in the face of the common values of the Western world. Living a simple life means stripping away the non-essential stuff to focus your time and energy on the things that matter the most to you. Is it OK to Just Live a Simple Life? If you're here reading this then you must already be curious about how to live a simple life! Conditioning by Western society often makes us believe success as being connected to wealth, possessions and achievements: all things that take effort. By the time we become adults, it can be hard to let that perception go which is one reason why you may feel hesitant about living a simple life instead. A lot of this fear is connected to the ego. “Living a simple life doesn’t just mean giving up your possessions. Choosing simplification creates a life filled with meaning, a life lived on your own terms.” By choosing to live a simple life, we reduce the nonessentials in our lives and often reduce stress and anxiety as well. We also make more intentional choices about our diet, exercise, and overall well-being. Simplicity allows us to prioritize self-care and mindfulness, which are essential for a healthy, balanced life. Living a Simple Life: 6 Key Benefits Moving to the countryside or living by the sea is a dream for myself and many others. And while the pandemic and improved technology have led to more opportunities for remote working, many of us can't simply take the leap and uproot due to family commitments. But – regardless of where you're living – there are many practical steps you can take to simplify your life and feeling the benefits. Some simple practical things you can to do start living a more simple life include: reducing possessions (have a clear out and donate) being mindful of future new purchases limiting your time on social media and smartphones switching off notifications learning to say no – stop attending events you’re indifferent about eliminating multitasking establish a daily routine appreciating nature more spend time alone with yourself Practice mindful eating Enjoy the art of simply doing nothing Doing some or all of these things can bring you great benefits and happiness. So, let’s take a more detailed look at six key benefits of how to live a simple life, backed up by science. 1. Simplify your life to learn more about yourself When you’re not distracting yourself with social media, binging Netflix, shopping for another gadget, or filling your diary with must-do events, you’re giving yourself the time and mental space to be grateful for what you already have – as well as creating the opportunity to reflect and learn more about yourself. In fact, living simply can help us find meaning and grow spiritually, as it shifts the focus away from material possessions and helps us look inwardly. It helps to create more silence – and even solitude – prime factors for spiritual reflection. RELATED: The Power of Silence: 10 Benefits of Cultivating Peace and Quiet Of course, sometimes reflecting on our lives and who we are can be as uncomfortable as it is rewarding, but ultimately it helps to focus on what gives our life purpose and meaning, and what we want to do with the rest of our lives. In turn, living a meaningful life has been to shown to increase happiness levels. 2. A simpler lifestyle can improve relationships In his essay Voluntary Simplicity: Characterization, Select Psychological Implications, and Societal Consequences, Amitai Etzioli argues that when we stop focusing our time on acquiring material possessions, we’re more likely to focus on relationships. Likewise, spending excessive time on social media or being occupied all the time can mean other relationships suffer. So, if we remove or reduce these distractors we free up more time to spend with friends and family and build meaningful connections – one of the 10 keys to happiness. Modest living focuses you on what really matters in life Additionally, developing a more simple way of life may mean editing your friendship group. Perhaps you have lots of different friends that you spend time doing different actives with, for example, the 'party' friend, the 'shopping' friend, the 'gym buddy'. By simplifying your life and doing less, it could mean shifting your focus to having fewer, higher-quality friendships and closer relationships. The interaction between you may also be more sincere, as you will be free of the need to impress. RELATED: Why Friendship Goals Matter and How to Achieve Them How to Get Over a Friendship Breakup: 7 Steps When to End a Friendship and How to Do it With Kindness In turn, there are health benefits attached to simplifying your friendships. Various studies have found that developing strong, solid friendships can reduce your illness risk – from being less likely to get a common cold to having a lower risk of developing obesity or heart disease. A 2017 Harvard study also found that keeping close friends could promote brain health as we grow older. 3. Simple living boosts your bank balance In many developed countries, the disparity between what we buy and what we need leads to overconsumption. This both drains the Earth’s resources and accelerates climate change. Voluntary simplicity is a lifestyle choice that minimizes consumption and the pursuit of wealth and material goods. Simplifying your life by reducing consumption means you will spend – and potentially owe – less. The benefits of financial independence can include less stress and worry, and consequently better sleep. Indeed, according to a UK study from 2018, money worries are a huge issue, affecting 40 per cent of the population. To limit your consumption, firstly, take time to look at your outgoings and consider what you need to spend your cash on. Those daily takeaway coffees? Upgrades to the latest iPhone or Samsung? Netflix and apps subscriptions? That gym membership you hardly ever use? ““Living simply can help us find meaning and grow spiritually, as it shifts the focus away from material possessions and helps us to look inwardly.” There are so many chances to minimize spending, so cancel what you don’t need and change your habits. Additionally, you may be being charged for subscriptions for things you’ve totally forgotten about, so take some step to go through your bank statements and check what's going out every month. Secondly, aim to eliminate any existing debt you have and simply live within your means. Stop using credit cards and, instead, develop a monthly budget. Thirdly, if you’ve decided to simplify your belongings, make yourself some extra money by selling unwanted stuff on eBay, or simply donating things to charity. What's more, if you decide to simplify your social life to focus on things such as reconnecting with nature, walking, meditation, etc, this will also benefit your bank balance – because most of these things are free. 4. Living simply is great for your health Living a simplistic lifestyle can also be beneficial to your physical and mental health. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found a link between materialism and poor physical health. The team, from Knox College, Illinois, also found an even stronger link between materialism and engagement in risky behaviors that could damage physical health, such as drinking alcohol, smoking and drug use. So, it follows that the reverse – having a non-materialistic attitude – could be positive for health. RELATED: Being Teetotal: 9 Benefits of Living Alcohol-Free This theory was backed up in an unpublished survey from the University of the Sciences in Pennsylvania. It found that 90 per cent of people who identified as coming from the simple living movement reported improved physical health after choosing to make a change to earn less money. Almost as many respondents also claimed that their mental health also improved. Simple living means less stress and increased rest The reasons for this could be due to the fact that developing a more simplistic lifestyle often means less stress and increased rest. This benefits could come from spending more time with friends/family, getting more physical activity, and changing jobs to find something more fulfilling and less money-orientated. MORE LIKE THIS: Gazing at the Stars: Replacing Worries With Wonder Living on a Houseboat Wild Swimming: Health Benefits of Open Water Additionally, voluntary simplifiers often make a move away from big urban hubs to the countryside or seaside, which also has potential health benefits. A 2012 study from the University of Exeter showed that coastal populations in the UK are healthier than those inland, believed to be party due to the stress relief of living by the sea and greater opportunities for physical activity. The coast also offers cleaner, healthier air, which helps to promote better sleep (also essential for good mental health). 5. Simplistic living means increased focus Reducing possessions and commitments correlates to a reduction in distractions and therefore less physical – and mental – clutter. As you simplify your life and remove distractions, you create space to breathe and focus more carefully on what remains. In fact, the physical reduction of clutter in your home has been proven to boost concentration. Researchers at the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute studied the effects of clutter and published the results in the Journal of Neuroscience. They concluded that clearing clutter from your home and work environments increased the ability to focus and process information effectively. Their research also showed that an uncluttered space led to people feeling less irritable, more productive and less distracted. “How to live a simple life? It means stripping away the non-essential stuff to focus your time and energy on the things that matter the most to you.” Simplifying your life by focusing on one task at a time, rather than multitasking, can also boost concentration. Multitasking used to be championed as effective, but Psychology Today reports that in reality it can decrease productivity levels by up to 40 per cent. Many of us are constantly switched on to multiple technologies: on average, we check our mobile phones every 12 minutes, causing further distractions and interruptions which affect our ability to concentrate. Choose to simplify life and learn how to avoid distractions by limiting these interruptions: remove or reduce social media usage and switch off annoying pop-up notifications. 6. Living a simple life helps the environment While the benefits of living simply described here are clear for the individual, the wider environment also benefits. It’s been previously suggested that if everyone on Earth consumed as much as the average US citizen, four Earths would be needed to sustain the population. So, consuming less and having fewer possessions decreases the amount of waste a person produces. In fact, there are many practical ways you can change you habits to live more simply and help the environment. Buying less clothes is a great place to start. Thanks to fast fashion, the textile industry is now one of the biggest environmental polluters and consumes energy throughout the supply chain. Donate old clothing to decrease consumption Indeed, humans consume 400 per cent more clothes than they did just two decades ago. About 80 billion pieces of clothing are consumed annually, and the US alone produces 11 million tons of textile waste each year. So, instead of buying cheap fashions, seek out more durable outfits that will last, and if they no longer fit, place unwanted clothes in a material recycling bin or donate – never just throw them away. As consumers we rarely consider the context and impact when buying products, for example, considering the workers and factories that made a product, the journey to the store a product made, how the packaging was produced, etc. Living a simple life means becoming more mindful of what you consume and thinking more about a product’s journey and environmental impact, therefore making more considered purchases. The Takeaway: How to Live a Simple Life According to the Chinese philosopher Confucius, “Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated.” I would have to agree. For me, it's clear these science-backed benefits of living a simpler life are enormous and can only add to our increased happiness. Simple living and sustainable living go hand-in-hand, and having a healthier environment will also lead to better health for generations to come. So, rather than buying more and more stuff, consider spending more of your time and money on experiences: they leave only memories and nothing in the trash can. ● Images: shutterstock/wavebreakmedia, shutterstock/Monkey Business Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Sport & Physical Activity | Purpose of Life | Community Living Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our online magazine, loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! He also works as a collage artist.

Becoming a volunteer is an important and meaningful way to help individuals and communities. And, as Calvin Holbrook writes, the multiple benefits of volunteering are proven by science. With most of us leading busy lives, the idea of volunteering – giving your time and energy to a cause without financial reward – may seem an impossible task. How can we fit anything else into our already jam-packed schedules? However, volunteering is important for many reasons and doesn't have to take up a huge chunk of your time. Furthermore, as well as the obvious benefits of volunteering to the community, individual or organization receiving assistance, there are multiple benefits – physical and mental – for the volunteer. It's these benefits that could partly explain the rise in popularity of volunteering over the past few years. During 2012-13, 29 per cent of adults in England, UK, said they had formally volunteered at least once a month. The figure in the United States is not far off, at around 25 per cent (with slightly more women volunteering than men). Promisingly, an increasing number of these people are young adults. In the UK, figures show that 2.9 million people in the 16 to 25-year-old age group volunteered during 2015, compared to just 1.8 million in 2010: an almost 40 per cent increase. Volunteering is an important tool to connect communities So, why the interest in volunteering? The Greek philosopher Aristotle once said that the essence of life is “to serve others and do good,” and it seems an increasing number of us are starting to wake up and see why volunteering is important. Many of us are starting to understand how serving and helping each other and different communities benefits not just others but ourselves, too. So, just why is volunteering important? Volunteering is important as it offers essential help to worthwhile causes, people in need, and the wider community. Indeed, many organziations and charities rely on the generosity of volunteers as they’re only part-funded through government or local councils, and cannot afford to pay salaries for all their staff. In fact, many companies depend almost solely upon teams of volunteers to help them thrive and do their work. What are the benefits of volunteering? Of course, the benefits of volunteering for those receiving help are clear. Whether it’s providing kids in a Third World country with free English classes or litter picking at your local beach, the benefits to the receiver and the wider community are usually part of the reason why you decide to volunteer in the first place. “Volunteering is important as it offers essential help to worthwhile causes, people in need, and the wider community.” But did you realise just how important volunteering could be for the person doing it? In fact, volunteering is beneficial to the doer for a whole host of reasons, including stress reduction, combating depression and providing a sense of purpose. And while studies show that the more you volunteer, the more benefits you’ll experience, volunteering doesn’t have to involve a long-term commitment. Even giving in simple ways can help those in need and improve your overall health and happiness. So, let’s take a closer look at just why volunteering is valuable with seven key benefits of this altruistic act. 1. Volunteering connects you with others If you’re feeling lonely, isolated, or simply want to widen your social circle, volunteering in your local community is an important – and often fun – way to meet new people. In fact, one of the best ways to make new friends and strengthen existing relationships is to commit to a shared activity together, and volunteering lets you do just that. If you’ve recently moved to a new city or country, volunteering is an easy way to meet new people, strengthening your ties to the local community and broadening your own support network. Furthermore, it connects you to people who have common interests and passions who could go on to become great friends. RELATED: The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits Happy Habits: 12 Ways to Boost Joy Levels Daily Finding Your Tribe: The 7 Steps You Need to Take In fact, volunteering is an important and interesting way to meet people who you might not normally connect with: people from different age groups, ethnicities or social groups. Because volunteering is open to everyone, it allows you to meet a wide variety of people from all sorts of walks of life, something that can only broaden your life experience further. 2. Volunteerism builds self-confidence and self-esteem Doing good for others and the community helps to create a natural sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Working as a volunteer can also give you a sense of pride and identity, helping to boost your confidence further by taking you out of your comfort zone and environment. Indeed, volunteering helps you to feel better about yourself, which you can then take back to your ‘regular’ routine, hopefully creating a more positive view of your own life and future goals. Volunteering builds self-confidence and reduces loneliness If you’re naturally shy or fearful of new experiences, cultures and travel, volunteering overseas could be an important and insightful way to help you build self-confidence in this area (not forgetting the other benefit of this type of volunteering – a chance to see a bit of the world at the same time!). Furthermore, research shows that volunteering could be particularly useful in boosting the self-esteem and confidence of adolescents who are just starting their life journey. A 2017 study from the University of Missouri and Brigham Young University that included almost 700 11- to 14-year-olds examined how sharing, helping and comforting others affected self-confidence. The study found that altruistic behaviors raises teens' feelings of self-worth, and that adolescents who assisted strangers reported higher self-esteem one year later. A National Youth Agency report seemed to corroborate this evidence. In it, young people aged 11 to 25 “repeatedly stressed that volunteering had increased their self-confidence, self-esteem and self-belief.” This self-confidence boost was shown to be strongly linked to improved communication skills, especially amongst young volunteers who were previously nervous about meeting new people. 3. Volunteering is important for physical health Interestingly, volunteering has distinct health benefits that can boost your mental and – perhaps surprisingly – physical health. Indeed, a growing body of evidence suggests that people who give their time to others might benefit from lower blood pressure and a longer lifespan. “If you’re feeling lonely or simply want to widen your social circle, volunteering in your local community is an important – and fun – way to meet new people.” A 1999 study showed that so-called ‘high volunteers’ (helping out at two or more organizations) had a 63 per cent lower mortality rate than non-volunteers. And more recent research (2013) from Carnegie Mellon University found that adults over 50 who volunteered regularly were less likely to develop high blood pressure (hypertension) compare to non-volunteers. Hypertension is an important indicator of health as it contributes to stroke, heart disease and premature death. Lead study author Rodlescia Sneed said that carrying out volunteer work can increase physical activity among those who aren’t normally very active, and that it could also reduce stress: “Many people find volunteer work to be helpful with respect to stress reduction, and we know that stress is very strongly linked to health outcomes.” Importantly, volunteers seem to notice these health benefits too. Indeed, a 2013 study from UnitedHealth Group and the Optum Institute of over 3,300 U.S. adults revealed that 76 per cent of those in the United States who volunteer said it makes them feel physically healthier. Also, around 25 per cent said that volunteering had been important in helping them manage a chronic health condition. 4. Volunteerism improves mental health When it comes to volunteering being important for mental health, the benefits are clear. Being altruistic in this way can help counteract the effects of stress, depression and anxiety. Indeed, the social contact aspect of helping others can have a profound effect on your overall psychological well-being. Volunteering keeps you in regular contact with others and helps you develop a solid support system, which in turn combats against feelings of loneliness and depression. Volunteering with animals has also been shown to improve mood while reducing stress and anxiety. Volunteering has many important health benefits Finally, volunteering boosts mental health simply because carrying out an altruistic act makes you happier; the so-called 'helper's high'. Human beings are hard-wired to give to others, and by measuring so-called brain activity and happiness hormones, researchers have found that being helpful to others can deliver great pleasure. RELATED: The Power of Kindness Shared Humanity: Why it Matters Human Kindness: Why We Need it More Than Ever A 2008 study from the London School of Economics examined the relationship between volunteering and happiness in a large group of American adults. The researchers found that the more people volunteered, the happier they were. Compared with people who never volunteered, the odds of being ‘very happy’ rose seven per cent among those who volunteer monthly and 12 per cent for those who volunteer every two to four weeks. 5. Volunteering is important for a sense of purpose Because volunteering means choosing to work without receiving monetary compensation, people often choose to give their time to issues or organisations they feel are important or have a special connection to. For example, if you're a big animal lover you may want to volunteer at a pet shelter. Or, perhaps you’ve living with or have recovered from an illness and want to dedicate some of your spare time to a charity that helps others living with the same condition. Volunteering like this helps address a social problem that is meaningful to you and in turn helps to build a sense of purpose, which further boosts your own happiness levels. “When it comes to volunteering being important for mental health, the benefits are clear. It can help counteract the effects of stress, depression and anxiety.” You can try volunteering at any age to help build a sense of purpose, but it’s often particularly common in older adults – those that have retired or maybe lost a partner of friends. Whatever your age of life story, volunteering can be an important technique to help give your life new meaning and direction. 6. Volunteering helps you forget your own problems One other benefit of volunteering is that focusing on others can give us a deeper sense of perspective and help distract us from negative thoughts and help stop rumination. Volunteering often involves helping those in need and can be useful in showing us that, in fact, our own lives are not as bad as we thought they were. 7. Volunteering is important for your career In an increasingly competitive job market, volunteering experience can be incredibly useful. It shows potential employers that you can take initiative and that you’re willing to give your own time to improve the world for other people. Furthermore, volunteering gives you the opportunity to practice important common skills used in the workplace, such as communication, teamwork, problem solving, planning and organization. Indeed, if you haven’t had a full-time job before then volunteering is an essential way to prove your skills when you do go for work interviews. Boost future job prospects through volunteering Also, if you’ve just graduated or looking for your first job, volunteering is an important and relatively easy way to get a foot in the door of a company you’d like to work with. Even if there's no immediate chance of employment afterwards, volunteering can help you to make connections for the future. Furthermore, if you’ve already had jobs and are considering a change of direction, volunteering is an important and fun way to try out different career options, especially if you’re not quite sure of where you want to go next. Indeed, volunteering offers you the chance to try out a new career without making a long-term commitment! Takeaway: the Benefits of Volunteering It's clear the benefits of volunteering are huge – improved physical and mental health, new friends and avoiding loneliness, a sense of purpose and deeper self-confidence. In turn, all of these things will help to boost your overall happiness: a win-win situation for all involved. If you're considering volunteering, ask yourself a few questions before taking the plunge. Firstly, think about which causes you're passionate about – it means you're more likely to enjoy and stay committed to the work. Secondly, are you looking for regular volunteering opportunities or a one-off project? Thirdly, what skill set can you offer and what can you hope to gain from volunteering? Good luck when you finally get going, and make sure you have fun – volunteering is important – the benefits are clear – but it's important to enjoy it too! • Images: shutterstock/Dragon Images, shutterstock/ESB Professional, shutterstock/Rawpixel.com, shutterstock/Monkey Business Images, Have you ever volunteered? What are the benefits for you? Share in the comments below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Kindness | Motivation | Learning | Altruism Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our online magazine, makes art and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage!

Energy vampires drain your emotional reserves and disrupt your mental peace. Sonia Vadlamani explains how to identify these emotionally taxing individuals and offers practical ways to protect your energy. Sometimes, spending time with certain people can leave you feeling completely exhausted – like you’ve just run a marathon. That heavy, worn-out feeling you carry after meeting someone may not be just your imagination. Chances are, you encountered an energy vampire. What is an energy vampire? Energy vampires are people who suck the energy from you – in one-on-one conversation or in social situations – leaving you emotionally depleted. While this isn’t always intentional, they tend to exploit your inclination to listen and care, taking far more from you than they can give in return. Recognizing emotional vampires and protecting yourself from their influence is essential to maintaining emotional and mental well-being. Energy suckers: energy vampires leave you drained How can you tell if someone is an emotional vampire? Identifying an energy vampire often starts with a gut feeling. When trying to recognize one, pay close attention to how you feel during and after interacting with them. Look for the subtle cues – if a simple conversation leaves you emotionally exhausted or you find yourself strategically avoiding someone so you can preserve your energy, those are both signs of an energy vampire. “Energy vampires are people who suck the energy from you – in one-on-one conversation or in social situations – leaving you emotionally depleted” Energy vampires can be deceptively friendly and charming, and you may not be able to pinpoint why interactions with them seem to deplete you emotionally. You may find yourself dreading a chance encounter or dodging events just to avoid them, and the inexplicable fear of encountering them is your emotional radar warning you to steer clear of their toxic influence. Signs you are being affected by an energy vampire Identifying an emotional energy drainer can be tricky at first, but being aware of a shift in your feelings and patterns can help. Some warning signs can include: Feeling anxious and inexplicable dread over the prospect of meeting someone Abrupt mood fluctuations and sudden irritability Avoiding activities and hobbies that you typically enjoy Making incessant excuses to get out of social situations and declining invitations frequently Feeling nervous or walking on eggshells while around them How do I protect myself from energy vampires? Identifying the emotional vampires around you is the first step toward shielding yourself from them. Here are a few ways to safeguard your emotional reserves: 1. Learn to say NO Saying “no” isn’t rude or alienating – it’s often a form of radical self-care. In fact, we often overestimate the ramifications of declining an invite, according to a 2023 report published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. According to Dr. Julian Givi, co-author of the study and a consumer behavior expert: “Saying no to invitations is an important, but challenging, aspect of people’s social lives. People are busy, and social commitments can be burdensome – especially when they involve those who are draining to be around. “Our research demonstrates that people overestimate the negative consequences of declining invitations – such as upsetting or angering the inviter – suggesting that we should not stress as much as we do about telling others no, including when invitations stem from energy vampires.” So, protecting your energy is a valid reason to promptly decline invitations that don’t align with your energy, even if it involves people you care about. 2. Set firm boundaries Another effective way to avoid energy-draining vampires is to limit your interactions with them – or to avoid engaging them altogether. Boundaries are a crucial aspect of self-compassion, as suggested by a 2020 study published in Journal of Psychological Research. Set clear, uncompromising boundaries with those who emotionally deplete you, and communicate them assertively so you can avoid resentment and bitterness later. Set boundaries: just say no to emotional vampires 3. Stay grounded in your values Being authentic and staying true to your values can be an effective shield against energy vampires, since your strong sense of self and clear boundaries make you less susceptible to emotional manipulation. Dr. James Huysman, mental health expert and founder of Star Network Foundation, told us: “[Our] values and finding our happiness through our ‘recovery to find our authentic selves’ are a garlic and crucifix for the energy vampire.” 4. Plan for downtime Sometimes, it doesn't seem possible to entirely avoid the presence of an energy vampire – maybe they’re a coworker, a family member, or part of your extended social circle. The key here is to prepare yourself for the encounter and have a recovery plan ready. Plan something rejuvenating and restorative for later – it could be as simple as a long bath, connecting with a supportive friend, or cuddling with your pet while reading a book. “If a simple conversation leaves you emotionally exhausted or you find yourself strategically avoiding someone so you can preserve your energy, those are all signs of an energy vampire.” Knowing that you’re equipped with an ‘emotional reset’ – or a plan to recharge subsequently after an unavoidable engagement with an energy vampire – will help you avoid the anxiety associated with it. Are energy vampires narcissists? Energy vampires often have narcissistic traits, given that narcissists rely on others’ emotional energy to reinforce their sense of identity. Much like emotional vampires, narcissists tend to feed off the energy and emotions of others to bolster their fragile self-worth. Blame shifting, using manipulation to guilt or gaslight, constant demands for attention, and excessive negativity are some of the key characteristics that narcissists share with energy vampires. Due to their shared traits, narcissists and emotional vampires are drawn to ‘empaths’ – or individuals with a heightened ability to feel and absorb others’ emotions – making them easy targets. Am I an emotional vampire? If you find yourself wondering whether you might be emotionally exhausting to others, do know that it takes courage and self-awareness to even get there – so you’re already on the right path. Observing your communication patterns is a good starting point: do you find yourself dominating most conversations or frequently steering the conversation towards yourself? If those around you have implied that they feel used or overwhelmed after interacting with you, it’s likely that you’ve been an energy vampire. Also, reflect on how often you’re genuinely interested in others in your life – do you engage with things they discuss and follow up later, or do you only seek emotional support for yourself? If the answer to most of these queries is yes, then you might be an emotional vampire – perhaps without even realizing it. MORE LIKE THIS: When to End a Friendship and How to Do it With Kindness Positive Relational Energy: the Secret Sauce of Uplifting Human Connections How to Get Over a Friendship Breakup: 7 Steps It also helps to assess how you respond to the boundaries set by others. Ask yourself how you feel when someone is busy or unavailable. Do you respect their space, or do you feel upset or abandoned? Truthful answers to these questions can offer you valuable insight into whether you’re emotionally taxing for those around you. How to stop being an energy vampire The good news is that asking this question itself is progress, given that most energy vampires rarely recognize – or care about – the impact of their emotional draining tendency. Here are some ways to stop exhausting others emotionally: Practice mindful listening Listen actively, ask relevant questions, and remember to follow up later. This shows that you truly care. Give, don’t just receive Friendships and relationships require active reciprocity. Offer support readily when others need it. Celebrate their wins and stand by them during difficult times. Devise your own coping strategies Indeed, it’s great to feel heard and supported. However, developing emotional resilience can help you overcome challenges on your own, reducing the need for you to rely on others to resolve your issues. Respect boundaries Honoring the personal boundaries set by others is essential for healthy relationships. Believe people when they say they’re busy. Give people space when they ask for it without guilt or resentment. Takeaway: Emotional vampires All interactions are, in essence, an exchange of energy. It’s important to stay mindful and reflect on which interactions uplift you and which ones leave you emotionally drained. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals with a bright outlook is a foolproof way to protect your energy and keep energy vampires at bay. ● Images: shutterstock/Mortotion Films, shutterstock/Krakenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Emotional intelligence | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Mental health is equally as important as physical health, and the stigma around depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses is finally being addressed. Dee Marques answers the question 'why is mental health important?' and has some tips on how to strengthen your mind. Mental health is a growing concern in our society, and for good reason. According to the Mental Health Foundation, more than 15 per cent of all adults will experience a mental health problem in any given week, and the figures increase to almost 25 per cent among young people. All over the world, mental health issues account for a significant percentage of the overall disease burden, and the figures seem to be on the rise. Thankfully, mental health is seen as increasingly important and in recent years is becoming destigmatized as people discuss it openly more and more. The truth is that mental health problems can affect everyone, irrespective of their age, social class, and financial situation. Being 'successful' in life does not make you immune to suffering mental health issues. While it’s easy to link success with happiness, and happiness with sound mental health, this isn’t always as straightforward as it seems. Sadly, we’re all familiar with recent high-profile suicides involving celebrities like Robin Williams or designers like Kate Spade and Alexander McQueen. They were all successful, wealthy, and accomplished, which teaches us a lesson on why mental health is important: mental illness can affect everyone, just like physical illness. RELATED: Dealing with suicide, bereavement and loss On this note, there’s a tendency to give more importance to physical health than to mental health. This bias towards the physical may be due to the fact that physical disease is more obvious, easier to spot. The medical field is concerned with problems that can be objectively measured (such as weight, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, etc.), but mental illness and its symptoms aren’t as visible as their physical counterparts. If anything, this makes it ever more important to be familiar with mental health warning signs and risk factors. Mental health issues can affect everyone In any case, the importance of mental health cannot and should not be underestimated. Keep reading to find out why. Why is mental health important? Research shows that an unhealthy mind will sooner or later manifest itself into an unhealthy body. An Oxford University study revealed that some disorders can reduce life expectancy by up to 20 years – that’s more than heavy smoking. Others have found that people suffering from mental illness are at a higher risk of heart problems and of early death due to heart disease. The list goes on, linking poor mental health to diabetes, osteoporosis, autoimmune skin conditions, obesity, etc. Moreover, some sources describe mental health as social, psychological, and emotional well-being. When this is absent, we become less functional in our daily routine: studies show that mental illness can make us unable to hold down a job or even to get a job in the first place. “Why is mental health important? Research shows that an unhealthy mind will sooner or later manifest itself into an unhealthy body.” Other studies show that mental disorders put an enormous strain on personal relationships, weakening family and friendship bonds, which in turn can make people feel isolated and worsen their symptoms. To sum it up, the importance of mental health lies in its connection to physical health and the essential role it plays if we want to enjoy quality of life and happiness. Common mental health problems The most common mental health problems both in the UK and the US are anxiety and depression, which affect between 10 and 18 per cent of the population respectively. The figures are similar at global level, as it’s estimated the depression affects a staggering 300 million people worldwide. Anxiety and depression are important mental health conditions Also ranking high are bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and phobias or psychoses. It’s clear that mental health problems are widespread, and in fact, the figures could be higher, as in many cases mental health issues go unreported or undiagnosed. Factors that can affect mental health There’s no single cause of mental health issues, since different factors affect people differently, but overall we can classify risk factors into three types: Genetic/physical factors Some people are born with gene abnormalities or chemical imbalances that affect the brain function. Exposure to toxic substances or even bacterial infections are other risk factors. Environmental factors Environmental factors such as poverty or significant financial difficulties, growing up in a dysfunctional family, traumatic childhood experiences, marriage breakdown, and the loss of a loved one. Belonging to vulnerable groups Vulnerable groups such as women, ethnic minorities, homeless individuals, those struggling with addictions or substance misuse, and people with existing health problems. The variety of factors teaches us something about why mental health is important: there are so many factors involved, that no one is really immune to the risks. Mental health: important symptoms It’s important to be familiar with the warning signs of mental health issues, so you can address them in their early stages. Here are a list of some of the most noticeable mental health symptoms: Changes to sleeping and eating habits. Social withdrawal. Mood swings that affect your ability to carry on with daily tasks or your relationships with others. Increased consumption of addictive substances (tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc.). Inability to concentrate or to get rid of negative thoughts. Apathy. Loss of sex drive. Prolonged sadness or excessive worrying. Feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, and/or useless. Thoughts of self harm. Tips to strengthen your mental health Mental health is made up of different building blocks that work together, so it’s important to target as many bases as possible. Some practical ways to maintain positive mental health include: 1. Audit your own views on mental health Suffering a mental health condition doesn’t mean you’re flawed or weak and is not a reflection of your personality. You should understand that it can happen to anyone, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. 2. Build a support network with people Build a support network with people you feel comfortable discussing your feelings with and who share your views about why mental health is important. Struggling with mental health? A support network is important 3.Schedule 'me time' Take breaks and use that time productively to do things that you enjoy and that foster your creativity and sense of worth. 4. Adopt healthy daily habits From getting enough sleep to eating well. Being well rested and getting enough nutrients has a direct effect on how your brain works. Track what you eat/drink and your mood to see if you can spot any patterns. “The importance of mental health lies in its connection to physical health and the essential role it plays in quality of life and happiness.” 5. Develop coping skills Skills such as being able to identify negative thoughts so they don’t snowball into mood- and health-affecting disorders. Focus on how to become stronger and more resilient to stress, life changes, other people’s comments. On that note, mindfulness and gratitude are the crucial building blocks of resilience. 6. Keep active Exercise can boost your self-esteem and have a positive effect on your physical and mental health. Choose something that’s motivating enough so you can stick to it. 7. Get professional help if you need it. Don’t let the stigma attached to mental health issues stop you from getting stronger. Fortunately, nowadays mental health issues are being openly discussed and the importance of mental health is being recognised as a top priority. There’s professional help out there, and you’re not weaker or worthless for needing it and reaching out – if anything, you’re smarter for recognising your needs and taking action. Conclusion: why is mental health important? Being aware of the importance of mental health is one of the best ways to protect and nurture your self. This is a challenging but rewarding journey, which you can start today by using the tips we described above to strengthen your mind and live a happier life. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Trust | Sound baths | Pets | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

How can you protect your energy? Sonia Vadlamani explores research-backed strategies to help navigate situations that leave you overwhelmed, stressed, or drained by negativity. In a world marked by global uncertainty, over-dependence on technology, and a constant stream of mobile app notifications, our mental reserves are being drained more rapidly than ever. Yet, while we instinctively protect our physical selves, many of us often overlook the importance of safeguarding our mental well-being. Indeed, we may believe that we have free agency over our choices, but research establishes that we only have a finite amount of mental energy or bandwidth. Known as ego depletion, this concept suggests that each decision or choice we make draws from a finite energy reserve. As this energy reserve dwindles, the quality of our choices and decisions can suffer. In the absence of conscious efforts to protect your energy reserve, you can experience poor decision-making, low productivity, stress, and eventually, burnout. Why protecting your energy is important Instances of energy burnout are at an all-time high. The Burnout Report 2025 reveals that 91% of UK adults reported feeling high or extreme levels of pressure or stress in the previous year. Meanwhile, 66% of American adults admit to experiencing burnout at work. Additionally, you may also feel the need to protect your energy while confronting so-called ‘energy vampires’ – needy friends, demanding colleagues, or emotionally draining instances that can leave you feeling exhausted or overwhelmed. Low battery? Time to start protecting your energy Protecting your energy helps you eliminate negativity and distraction from your life in a sustainable and intentional manner. Preserving your energy reserves also helps you pace yourself and avoid negative thoughts and stress, enabling you to focus on what’s more important. How to protect your energy: 7 ways to prevent energy drain So, we understand that knowing how to protect our energy is important, but how do we eliminate the stressors that leave us drained? Here are some science-backed ways to safeguard your mental bandwidth: 1. Practice emotional intelligence Researchers have long emphasized the vital connection between emotional intelligence and overall well-being. Thus, developing self-awareness is the first step toward learning to protect your energy. Make it a habit to check in with your emotions at regular intervals throughout the day. For example, if you notice signs of stress – like irritability or feeling unusually snappy – it may be ideal to slow down and recharge, perhaps with a spa day or a quiet nature walk. Similarly, experiencing a low mood or emotional numbness could indicate loneliness, and a cozy coffee date with a close friend could be the perfect remedy. 2. Set healthy boundaries Setting healthy boundaries is a fundamental aspect of protecting your energy. While it can feel uncomfortable – sometimes even rude – at first, establishing and communicating boundaries is a sign of emotional maturity. Whether it’s in friendships, romantic relationships, or at work, boundaries play a vital role across all areas of our lives. “Setting healthy boundaries is a fundamental aspect of protecting your energy. While it can feel uncomfortable, establishing and communicating boundaries is a sign of emotional maturity.” In addition to helping us maintain balance and enabling healthier relationships, research suggests that healthy boundaries also serve as a crucial tool for safeguarding our mental health. Indeed, setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away – it’s about protecting your peace so you can be your authentic self for the commitments and relationships that truly matter. Set boundaries and keep energy vampires at bay Nedra Glover Tawwab, mental health therapist and author of the bestselling book Set Boundaries, Find Peace, outlines three simple yet powerful steps to help you protect your energy through boundaries: Be self-aware Understand what works for you, be clear about your expectations – both from yourself and others – and what aligns with your values and comfort levels. The clarity attained from this reflection is key to establishing boundaries. Communicate openly Convey your needs and preferences clearly and directly, rather than dropping hints or making indirect references. Be assertive Express your boundaries respectfully and with confidence, asserting your needs and priorities as a form of self-care. Remember, setting boundaries may often bring up feelings of discomfort, shame, or guilt. When this happens, it’s important to accept these feelings and still move forward. Giving in to unhealthy patterns can cause resentment, burnout, or even emotional distress. 3. Say “no” more often Similarly, saying “no” can be awkward and difficult, and for people-pleasers, it can seem like a near-impossible task. However, doing so when your energy is low or your schedule is crammed is crucial for setting healthy boundaries. Saying no also helps prevent negative outcomes like resentment, regret, stress, or burnout. As a selective introvert, I remember struggling to decline invitations. I’d agree to attend parties, movies, music concerts, etc, just to avoid disappointing my friends. But then I'd return home drained, overstimulated, and with other telltale signs of an introvert hangover. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed Navigating Life: 10 Tips For Overcoming Obstacles How to Overcome Challenges and Move Forward Over time, and upon self-reflection, I learned that saying no isn’t an act of selfishness but self-care. Interestingly, my closest friends eventually learned to appreciate this shift, since they understood that I was more engaged and enthusiastic when I attended out of interest, not obligation. We often say “yes” to plans simply to avoid disappointing others, even though we’re stressed, busy, or already overburdened with responsibilities. Incidentally, researchers Julian Givi et al researched this specific aspect, with their study revealing that we often overestimate the potential negative outcomes of declining an invite for a social activity. The truth is that most inviters understand. The same applies for favours asked of you at work as well – if you’re at capacity, it’s OK to say no to additional tasks and stretch yourself too thinly. 4. Create a sanctuary Create a safe space in your home where you can truly unwind and recharge. Design areas for hobbies, crafts, and activities that help put your mind at ease. These safe spaces can be your simple yet effective answer to protecting your energy. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I find comfort in running a bath and reading or cooking a cozy meal for two from scratch. On the days my brain is scrambled with too many details coming from all quarters, I find that taking a short break to work on a jigsaw puzzle helps me reset my focus for the next task. “Tapping into the power of visualization can be the answer to how to protect your energy. It can help you create a ‘wall’ or mental barrier, allowing you to block negativity and manage your thoughts with intention.” Having a happy space to return to, especially after a stressful day at work or when you’re overstimulated, can help you recharge and gain a fresh perspective. Remember to declutter these spaces regularly to keep them truly restorative and free of visual chaos. Power low? Switch off and conserve your energy 5. Use visualization techniques Tapping into the power of visualization can be the answer to how to protect your energy as it can help you create a ‘wall’ or mental barrier, allowing you to block negativity and manage your thoughts with intention. Regular practice of visualization techniques can help you feel grounded and recharge yourself. Here are a couple of techniques you can try: Create your ‘happy’ place Sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and visualize a place where you feel happy and calm. This could be your favorite hiking trail – leaves rustling in the gentle breeze, sunlight filtering through the branches, its warmth caressing your skin like a hug. For me, a cherished memory is that of us playing with our beloved dog, Coffee, on the beach – sand beneath our feet, the mewing seagulls, Coffee fetching us small sticks and chasing crabs in sheer glee. Draw in as much sensory detail as possible. Focus on the joy this place brings you. Take deep breaths as you let the positivity fill your heart for a full minute. The cloak of protection Imagine wrapping yourself in a protective cloak made of white light, designed specifically to keep negativity at bay. Start at your feet and gradually work upward, picturing this light covering you in a soft, comforting shield. Finally pull the hood over your head, and as you’re cocooned in this cloak, notice the sensory details – the warmth, its softness on your skin, and its reassuring weight. Stay with this image for as long as you need to start the day with a renewed sense of strength. 6. Replenish yourself in nature The benefits of spending time in nature for our overall well-being are well-documented. Yet, according to a 2018 Nielsen Total Audience Report, most Americans spend nearly 11 hours per day in front of their screens. This growing reliance on technology often leaves us with very little time to step outdoors and connect with nature. Whether it’s a short walk in the park or a weekend hike in the wilderness, spending time in nature can significantly reduce stress, ease anxiety, and help us protect our energy more effectively. “Learning how to protect your energy isn’t about placing crystals on your nightstand – it pertains to redirecting your focus intentionally toward what’s more important.” Interestingly, nurturing something into life can also foster a sense of self-care and well-being. Therefore, projects like kitchen gardening are a great way to connect with nature, as well as reap benefits like better life satisfaction and improved physical and mental health. Recharge your batteries in nature 7. Breathing and meditation Breathing may be the most natural thing we do, but deliberate control of breathwork – like slow and mindful breathing techniques, for instance – can be a powerful tool for stress management and healing. Conscious breathing – or intentionally focusing on your breath – has been shown to have therapeutic benefits for our mental health. Practicing breathwork can help you manage stress and protect your energy in a more effective manner. RELATED: Uncover the Healing Power of the Breath Meditation is another simple yet powerful technique to reconnect with a compassionate, peaceful space within yourself. Try the loving-kindness meditation technique using visualization: start by directing warmth and positive affirmations for yourself, then gradually extend them to others – loved ones, acquaintances, and even the difficult people around you. Regular practice can help foster empathy, enabling you to stay centered in positive energy. Takeaway: protect your energy Learning how to protect your energy isn’t necessarily about chasing good vibes or placing crystals on your nightstand – it pertains to redirecting your focus intentionally toward what’s more important. Self-awareness is the first step toward protecting your energy. Tuning into your emotions and recognizing tell-tale signs of stress, regret, or mental exhaustion can help prevent your energy from being depleted. Once you identify what you’re feeling, you can respond with intention and choose the most effective form of self-care to restore your balance and recharge your energy. ● Images: shutterstock/Alphavector, shutterstock/HannaStudio, shutterstock/Rido, shutterstock/Krakenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Motivation | Positive psychology | Volunteering Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Ego death – also known as ego dissolution or ego loss – is a complete loss of subjective self-identity. Rhianna Quanstrom explores some of the common triggers, such as psychedelic experiences, as well as the signs, symptoms, and full meaning of ego death. The first time I experienced an ego death or dissolution was when I took psychedelics at a party. At the time, I was living a very unhealthy lifestyle and making a lot of poor choices. In fact, I think I was in total self-destruct mode. Why? Because I was fully identified with my mind, thoughts, trauma, and wounds. When I took the psychedelics, it was like the blinders came off. For the first time, I could clearly see that who I was “acting” as was not who I truly was. However, this was not an enjoyable experience. In fact, it was terrifying. I could see the darkness of my life surrounding me like a black cloud. Despite it being a “bad trip,” my life completely changed after that experience. I stopped partying, made new friends, and started living a completely different lifestyle. That pivotal moment launched me onto the path of becoming who I am today. This moment was what's known as an ego death, the first of many I have experienced as I continue to walk a path of healing and awakening. An ego death is a transformative experience in this journey we call life. It can be difficult to understand and even harder to describe. If you’re curious about ego death or perhaps believe you may be going through one yourself, keep reading to understand the symptoms of ego dissolution and the ultimate gift that it can offer. What is an Ego Death? To understand the ego death meaning, we must first understand what the ego even is. The ego represents our concept of self, of who we think we are. It contains our identities, beliefs, desires, wounds, conditioning, and worldviews. The ego is represented by "I am" statements, such as "I am (my name)," "I am a (role or gender)," "I believe (in this)," "I enjoy (this)," and "I think (this)." I like to think of it as a mental structure encompassing who we are in this form. It is a normal part of our psychology and human makeup. It helps us present ourselves, participate in the community, and share our unique gifts. Ego death meaning: loss of subjective self-identity The problem is that almost everyone completely identifies with this mental structure as who they truly are. They are their gender, role in society, accomplishments, thoughts, titles, personality, “things,” and income. By completely identifying with our ego structure, we also affirm the illusion of separateness. The ego, by nature, defines how we are separate from others. But this is just the “outward” structure, and there is an essence within this structure that is witnessing and bringing life-force consciousness to it all. Eckhart Tolle relates to this inner essence as our “Being.” Writing inThe Power of Now – his landmark book – Tolle states: “Being is eternal, ever-present One Life beyond the myriad forms of life that are subject to birth and death. However, Being is not only beyond but also deep within every form as its innermost invisible and indestructible essence. This means that it is accessible to you now as your own deepest self, your true nature.” “An ego death or ego dissolution is when our concept of self falls away, and all that we think we are is no longer true. Ego deaths can range in intensity and emotion, but they are often scary and disorienting.” I like to relate to it as my true Divine nature, which is part of and connected to all of life. This essence in me is the same essence within you and within all beings. From this place of knowing, we understand that our mental structures aren’t who we truly are; they are simply the lens or filter through which our true self shines through. As such, an ego death is when our concept of self falls away, and all that we think we are is no longer true. Ego deaths can range in intensity and emotion, but they are often scary and disorienting. This is because one of the main purposes of the ego is to keep us alive and safe! Indeed, we build these egoic structures and beliefs to keep our inner, true self “safe.” So, when we go through a process of realizing that who we think we are isn’t truly who we are, it can feel like we’re literally dying. However, it’s really just the ego going through a death phase. MORE LIKE THIS: Nonduality: What it Is, What it Isn't, and Basic Teachings What is Soul Loss and Retrieval? Healing Through a Shamanic Lens What Goes Around Comes Around: is Karma Real? Of course, the ego doesn’t truly “die.” Rather, an ego dissolution is more of a death for a rebirth process – a transformational rewiring that brings our ego structures into better alignment with our true, Divine self. Ego deaths also help us to remember and understand that we are not our thoughts, personality, or roles in life. We are so much more than our identities and beliefs. Even if we go through an ego death, we still have our thoughts, personality, and roles; however, those aspects of self might change or evolve to better reflect our true Being. The History of Ego Death While the term “ego death” is more recent, the concept of egotism and ego dissolution has been part of mystical traditions for millennia. This concept is found in Buddhism, Hinduism, Christian mysticism, Sufism, and shamanism. Buddhists believe the path of enlightenment involves the dissolution of the self. In Hinduism, there is the concept of the “false self,” which relates to the ego. Through meditation, yoga, and devotion, the devotee can let go of their false self and realize their true nature. Dissolution of the self This same concept stretches into Christian mysticism and Sufism, with both traditions emphasizing “dying to self” to experience union with God. The idea is to strip away illusions and egoic desires so that their singular focus is on the Divine. In shamanism, there is an interesting practice called dismemberment that is a form of ego death. People on a shamanic journey have experienced their spirit guide or power animal attacking them and ripping them apart. Their helping spirit then puts them back together, while leaving out energy, illness, beliefs, or limitations that are not serving that person. Dismemberment can happen spontaneously in a shamanic journey, or it can be experienced intentionally. “Ego deaths help us to remember and understand that we are not our thoughts, personality, or roles in life. We are so much more than our identities and beliefs.” More recently, the term ego death has been connected to psychedelic experiences. The term was actually coined in the 1960s by Timothy Leary in his book The Psychedelic Experience. In it, he explored how psychedelics played a key role in the spiritual journey and initiated ego deaths. Signs and Symptoms of Ego Death Ego death can occur within a single psychedelic or meditation experience, and it can be a slow process over weeks or months. When occurring over some time, ego death is commonly referred to as a “dark night of the soul.” While in an altered state of consciousness, such as on a psychedelic or shamanic journey, ego death symptoms may be entirely unique to you. It may feel scary, disorienting, liberating, peaceful, enlightening, or joyful. Here are some common signs and symptoms of ego death: Loss of identity You may not feel like you know who you are or why you’re here. Your current roles may not feel like they “fit” anymore. Confusion You may feel cloudy, disoriented, and not know what is “real” anymore. There could be emotions rising to the surface that don’t have an obvious source. Dissolving into nothingness An experience of completely letting go to the point where you feel like you are no one and no-thing, like you’re floating in space as pure consciousness. You may also experience sinking into the earth and dissolving into the soil. Becoming one with everything Alternatively, when the illusion of self strips away, one may feel like they are connected and one with everything around them. They are one with the tree in their yard, the wind in the sky, the bird flying high, and the clouds passing by. Detachment from the mind You may experience becoming the observer of yourself, like you are watching your mind from a distance. When there’s space between yourself and your thoughts, you can clearly see your thought patterns and emotions from a non-judgmental, unattached way. Intense fear During a psychedelic experience, it’s normal to go through phases of intense fear or panic. It may feel like you’re dying, and you may have visions of death or darkness. While scary, these are typical symptoms of ego death, especially on psychedelics. What Causes Ego Death? There are many ways that an ego death can be triggered. Substances – such as peyote/mescaline, psilocybin, ayahuasca, LSD, and DMT – commonly cause ego deaths. These are typically intense and transformational, resulting in a sudden change in one’s life going forward. Psilocybin, found in mushrooms, can lead to ego dissolution experiences Devotion to a spiritual and awakening path will eventually lead to ego death. The longer one walks this path, the more experiences of ego death they will go through. This is because as one walks a healing and awakening path, there is a natural purification process. All that is not true and no longer serves comes to the surface and is released over time. Aside from psychedelic experiences, here are some other common causes of ego death: Sudden spiritual awakenings Near-death experiences Childbirth Intense grief or trauma Deep, unconditional love Lucid dreaming Consistent and long meditations Shamanic journey meditations Is Ego Death Good? Ego death has the potential to be a truly rewarding experience, depending on how well the experience is integrated. It can lead to a deeper connection to one’s own true, Divine nature, and to the world around them. It can help bring one closer to their true purpose, help release emotional trauma, heal old wounds, and let go of belief systems or conditioning that no longer serve. For example, a 2023 study conducted led by Johns Hopkins University and published in Front Psychiatry found that naturalistic use (non-research-based) of psilocybin showed: “persisting reductions in anxiety, depression, and alcohol misuse, increased cognitive flexibility, emotion regulation, spiritual wellbeing, and extraversion, and reduced neuroticism and burnout.” This is just one study of many that show the positive implications of psychedelic integration, in which ego deaths are common. Ego deaths are profound and monumental, but they can also be frightening and disorienting. It’s important to integrate the process and seek support when you need it. Takeaway: What is an Ego Death? An ego death is a transformational experience. While scary, it can help us come into deeper alignment with our true essence and change the course of our lives. These intense initiations help us realize and remember that we are so much more than who we think we are. I’m so thankful for the intense and dark psychedelic experience I had. That ego death helped me realize that the path I was heading down was not where I wanted to go. It helped remove the illusions and beliefs clouding my mind so that I could clearly see that the life I was living wasn’t in alignment with my true, Divine nature. Whether you’re currently experiencing symptoms of an ego death or you’re curious about the psychedelic experience, be sure to have people around to support you. The key is integration and trusting that this experience is part of your liberation and healing. ● Images: shutterstock/New Africa, shutterstock/Good Studio, shutterstock/Room27 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Purpose of Life | Letting Go | Mindfulness Written by Rhianna Quanstrom Rhianna Quanstrom is a freelance writer, herbalist, and spiritual seeker with a passion for nature-based healing and sacred wisdom. Her writing draws from years of experience with meditation, shamanic practices, plant medicine, dream work, and the reclamation of the Sacred Feminine. Discover more of her writing and poetry on her Mystic Love Substack.

Challenging yourself leads to personal growth and fulfillment. Ed Gould asks you to step out of your comfort zone and learn how to challenge yourself in 8 different life areas. As a professional writer, I'm used to expressing myself but this often means staying within my comfort zone. Either I'll write about similar subjects I've written about before or stick to tried and tested formats. Recently, I challenged myself by performing some of the songs I've written over the years. I had not done anything close to this for over a decade! Although I did so primarily for fun, it was a significant challenge to see the project through once I had committed to the idea. What does this anecdote say about how to challenge yourself? What does my experience offer up with respect to the outcomes you might feel of setting a challenge for yourself? Why challenge yourself and are there pitfalls you should try to avoid? Read on to find out what my experience – and the experience of others – reveals about setting personal challenges. What Does Challenging Yourself Mean? When you challenge yourself, you step outside of your comfort zone. This alone means that setting any challenge for yourself is not going to be easy. Of course, how hard a challenge might be will depend on what it is and how tricky you – as an individual – find it to break out from your usual routine. Learning an instrument is a great way to challenge yourself In other words, some people will find it easier to go further with their personal challenges than others. There should be no judgement or self-recrimination based on the nature of the challenge. You can always set yourself a new challenge if the current one turns out to be a bit easier than expected, after all. What you need to know, however, is that when you challenge yourself, you're aiming for genuine personal growth. Your challenge should push you – but never to breaking point. A better life – one that is more fulfilled – is about growing. You want a challenge you can overcome which takes effort, so you'll be able to look back on your achievement with a sense of satisfaction. Setting challenges for yourself can become a healthy habit, too. The better you feel about meeting the challenges you set, the more likely it is you will want that feeling again and again. As such, your personal growth and sense of quiet satisfaction in yourself will likely grow. The Benefits of Challenging Yourself We've just covered one of the main benefits of setting a challenge for yourself: personal growth. Let's re-examine this from the flipside position to better explain it. Imagine for a moment a life in which you never set a challenge for yourself. You'd probably cope well with every situation you encounter in day to day life but what if a true challenge were to come along that you hadn't set for yourself? Circumstances out of our control affect us all the time, after all. How resilient might you be if the last time you'd overcome a challenge was during your development in school or even earlier? You might not have the skills to cope, let alone the resilience. “When you challenge yourself, you step outside of your comfort zone. This alone means that setting any challenge for yourself is not going to be easy.” In other words, by challenging yourself, you are training yourself to cope with anything that might come your way. You are proving to yourself you can do it – whatever it might be – and empowering yourself to deal with difficult situations. That's why any challenge you set yourself must take you out of your comfort zone – even if only a little bit – otherwise it wouldn't be a genuine challenge, would it? There is some neuroscience research which suggests that the sort of brain activity associated with challenging yourself is beneficial for mood and anxiety. To put that another way, the stress you self-impose with a challenge helps to train the brain in ways that make it better able to cope. Set goals and take.a leap with a new challenge With a self-imposed challenge, of course, you are in control. When you get the outcome you want after completing the challenge, the brain will often reward itself by stimulating the ventral striatum, the part of the cortex associated with goal-oriented reward. Quite apart from the biology of challenging yourself, there are psychological factors to take into account, ones which probably interact closely with aforementioned neurological ones. When you overcome a challenge, you prove to yourself that you can succeed. No matter what anybody else may say, you've set yourself a challenge, defined its parameters and worked towards overcoming it. No one can ever take that away from you even if they might want to. This is self-empowering in a way that can lift mood, change self-perception and even alter entire mindsets for the better. Often, behavioural change comes about through cognitive changes. As some studies have shown, achieving goals and challenges can alter the way we think by altering habits. In turn, this leads to positive behavioural outcomes that can make life more rewarding and appreciated. How to Challenge Yourself OK, so setting challenges is a good move for getting more out of life, but how to challenge yourself is a whole other question. The good news is that there are many ways to do so and there will be an approach suited to everyone, no matter what their current mental state. Let's talk about eight of the most common approaches of how to challenge yourself to get the right physiological and psychological outcomes. 1. Self-Reflection Challenges One of the best ways to challenge yourself if the very idea of setting a self-imposed challenge seems too much is to commit to focus on self-reflection or self-enquiry. Keeping a diary or committing to writing thoughts down in a journal every day can be a good first step on your journey. Looking back over entries can be revealing and offer a true sense of reward if you keep it up. 2. Physical Health Challenges From walks in the park to more demanding physical routines, setting a personal goal for your physical health has mental health benefits, too. Doing more physically is a kind of self-love, especially if you commit to something beyond your norm. 3.Skill Acquisition Challenges Trying to learn something new is always hard. That's why it is rewarding, too. Sign up for a language or art class, for example, and give something completely novel a go. You might find your new vocation and you'll probably meet some like-minded people along the way, which is great for boosting happiness levels. “Challenging yourself to improve your mental well-being is a smart move. Anything from increasing your focus on meditation to setting your mind to solving puzzles can be a satisfying challenge.” In fact, studies show that making learning a habit and cultivating more meaningful connections are two of the main keys to happier living, making this challenge-yourself tip an essential! 4. Self-Restraint Challenges Another of the best ways to challenge yourself is to cut out bad habits. Perhaps you know you gossip too much or offer opinions too readily when they're not welcome. Maybe you want to cut down on alcohol intake to feel the benefits of being teetotal, or restrain yourself in another way? If so, setting a personal challenge might be the best approach, especially if you want to gain a greater sense of equanimity in your life. 5. Mental Health Challenges Challenging yourself to improve your mental well-being is a smart move, too. Anything from increasing your focus on meditation to setting your mind to solving puzzles can be a satisfying challenge. Using your brain more helps with cognition and focus, rewarding you with increased sharpness and, yes, happiness, too. A daily mental challenge could be completing a crossword 6. Leadership Challenges If you are tired of always doing the same things, then it might be time to step up and lead. Perhaps you should challenge yourself by going for a promotion at work or maybe quit and start up your own enterprise, even? There again, maybe you can teach or coach informally, helping others with the knowledge and skills you have to share. 7.Self-Kindness Challenges For some, self-kindness is harder than for others. If you find it difficult to get on with yourself, then challenging yourself to be more self-forgiving might not come naturally. This is precisely why it would be a good self-challenge, though. 8. Supported Challenges You don't have to go it alone. Some of the best ways to challenge yourself involve support. You can set group challenges you overcome with others and still get a sense of personal achievement. Setting personal goals with a mentor or a life coach is equally valid as coming up with self-imposed ones. Takeaways: How to Successfully Challenge Yourself Given the numerous benefits of setting and achieving challenges, learning how to challenge yourself can be life-changing. Once a challenge has been overcome, you'll probably want to set more, having gained confidence in your ability to attain goals with greater mental resilience. Find something that suits your personality but be prepared to step outside of your comfort zone. The more you put in, the more you're likely to get out, after all. • Images: shutterstock/Midnight Studio TH, shutterstock/Okrasiuk, shutterstock/New Africa happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Positive psychology | Gratitude | Burnout Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Understanding that happiness is a state of mind rather than something to be obtained is a key life lesson. Dee Marques shares 8 ways you can consciously choose to be more joyful. Happiness is the ultimate quest; something all humans aspire to. You’d think that after thousands of years of existence we would've become better at figuring out a way to be happy and stay happy. So, why is happiness so hard to achieve, and why does it slip out of our hands so easily? Or is happiness a state of mind rather than something that's 'achieveable'? Personally, I’ve always wondered why some people seem happier than others, or why having a more positive mindset seems to come easier to them. As we go through life, we all have good and bad experiences – things that will shape us for ever – so why do we react so differently to that input? In reality, science shows that happiness is partly determined by our genes. Researchers claim that happiness is 50 per cent dependent on genetics and just 10 per cent on personal circumstances (like our financial situation, relationships, career, etc.). That means the remaining 40 per cent is down to us, suggesting that happiness is a state of mind that can be reached through the right choices and attitude. As best-selling author and behavioural scientist Steve Maraboli was once quoted, “happiness is a state of mind; a choice, a way of living. It is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experienced.” So, let’s look into how you can adjust your way of living and find happiness in everything you experience. Happiness Is A State of Mind: 8 Top Tips True happiness is not a temporary feeling that comes and goes, but rather something that guides our thoughts and our reactions to what happens in our lives. Indeed, happiness comes from within. Many of our choices are automatic. This is how our brains work, and thank goodness for that, because otherwise we wouldn’t be able to function. However, it’s in our power to make conscious choices to ensure that happiness is a state of mind in our everyday lives. Follow these 8 top tips to help develop a happy state of mind. 1. Trick your brain Yes, you can fool your brain into thinking that happiness is a state of mind with one single gesture: a smile. Indeed, there are several studies showing that smiling sends positive feedback to the brain, even when you're forcing it! This is because the brain can pick up cues from our body to generate certain moods by releasing a bunch of feel-good hormones. Other studies show that smiling calms us down by slowing our heart rate. So, simply putting on a grin can improve your mood at times when you need it the most. Stay smiling! Happiness is a state of mind 2. Count your blessings It’s easy – and natural – to focus on what we don’t have and think we’ll be happy when we get it. Instead, think about the things you already do have that make life precious. And don’t just think about them, write them down. If you haven’t started a gratitude journal, this is the time to do so. Writing therapy can help solidify your appreciation for the good things in life and make you more aware of thought patterns that interfere with a happy mindset. Happiness is a state of mind when you feed your brain positive thoughts, and gratitude is a scientifcally-proven place to start. 3. Start your day the right way Instead of starting the day in a rush, set the alarm 10 or 15 minutes before your usual wake up time and get in an early morning meditation session. With practice, an early mediation session will give you greater clarity, so you can appreciate the best things in life and become stronger in the face of adversity. RELATED: 9 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation There are many useful meditation techniques, but mindfulness meditation is particularly good at training your brain to perceive that happiness is a state of mind. 4. Change perspective Some years ago, I went through a rough patch and hated everything. The gloomy British weather didn’t make things any easier: the lack of colour and sunlight got the worst of me and magnified other problems I was struggling with. So, one day I got on a plane to visit relatives, and a few minutes after taking off we pushed through clouds and suddenly I was floating in a sunny, peaceful space. All I had to do to be in a different world was gain altitude. “You can trick your brain into thinking that happiness is a state of mind with one single gesture: a smile.” The metaphor is obvious: looking at things from a different “altitude” can make us perceive the world in a different way. It may take lots of practice, but once you get good at it, you’ll realise that happiness is a state of mind that sometimes relies on you changing perspective. RELATED: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! 5. Find and give support Isolation and loneliness are all around us and can make us feel miserable, even when we have reasons to be joyful. We may not feel like socialising when we feel down, but don’t shut the doors to those who care about you. Improving the quality of our interactions with others is a crucial step if you want to truly experience how happiness is a state of mind. Sharing feelings can help us to build stronger bonds, feel supported, and create positive feedback loops in yourself and others. Why not plan exercise sessions with friends, or take up a new hobby together? 6. Do a kind act every day A few months ago, a friend of mine was going through a difficult situation, but she didn’t want the circumstances to take over her life. She decided to go out every Tuesday and do something kind for others, even though she didn’t feel like leaving the house. RELATED: Random acts of kindness – 22 ideas to spread happiness She’s since become known as “Happy Tuesday lady”, and needless to say, her mental health has improved massively! And no wonder. Science shows that the power of kindness is real – being nice is proven to boost your mood, lower stress and reduce anxiety, among other benefits. Showing kindness boosts happiness levels 7. Find meaning and purpose Many people go through life doing what they’re think they're supposed to be doing. But do the things you do bring you a sense of meaning or purpose? If not, you’re missing out on the path to happiness. RELATED: Power of Purpose – Rediscover Your True Role in Life One of the biggest joys in life is exploring and discovering what we’re here for and what we can contribute to the world – or at least, to those around us. Discovering how to find meaning in life will put you in a happy state of mind for sure. 8. Cut down sources of unhappiness A happy state of mind is something that must be nourished through happy habits, and spending too much time on social media is not on that list! For many people, social networks are a source of unhappiness and insecurity and can contribute to feelings of depression. In fact, research shows that the constant need to compare our lives to other peoples’ lives creates a deep sense of dissatisfaction and makes us lose track of the blessings we already have. The Takeaway: Happiness Is A State Of Mind I won’t deny it: life's not easy and sometimes it’s plain challenging and frustrating. The work towards choosing happy is constant. It won’t happen overnight and you should be ready to fight setbacks. Facing obstacles along the way doesn’t mean there’s no hope or you’re losing the battle. Even in tough times, you can build the resources you need to experience that happiness is a state of mind. Like writer and personal development expert Dale Carnegie said, “it isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy, it's what you think about it.” ● Images shutterstock/Rido, shutterstock/Dmytro Zinkevych happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Resilience | Nature | Meditation | Self care | Kindness Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Holding on to resentment and bitterness often feels like a way to punish our aggressor, but, in reality, doing so we only hurts ourselves. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović shares her seven-step plan to letting go of resentment and grudges and moving forward. I have been horribly wronged in my life, more than once. So have many of us, for that matter. As you will know, it stings, it aches, and it can make life almost unbearable at times. We harbour resentment and bitterness towards those that have let us down or hurt us and it creates a negative feeling. That is just how it goes. However, at each step of the way, we get to choose one one thing: how we react internally. It is our absolute right. Yet, how often do we exercise it? And how many times do we allow circumstances to move us like string puppets? This article speaks about bitterness for being mistreated. More precisely, about how to let go of resentment. Because holding a grudge is our choice — and so is the healthier one of letting it go. Why holding on to resentment is dangerous At one point in my life, I was being repeatedly exposed to hurtful behaviour by a person very close to me. I was also being convinced that it was my fault, and I had to stomach it. It lasted for years, and resentment built up. And, if I'm being completely honest, I have to say I chose to hold on to the umbrage. I was doing so because it was my way of stating: “Look what you are doing to me! You are destroying me! Won’t you stop?” Yet, as I learned, bitterness only poisons the person feeling it. It punishes no one but the one clutching it. It does not make the needed change. All it does is lock you inside of a vicious circle of obsessing over past wrongs you experienced. These are not merely anecdotal observations. Science backs my insights up. The definition of resentment and empirical evidence both speak about the dangers of not letting go of it. What is resentment? Resentment is a “feeling of bitterness, animosity, or hostility elicited by something or someone perceived as insulting or injurious,” according to the APA Dictionary of Psychology. The mere definition highlights one thing — this is not how you want to feel! Although understandable, the emotion itself is extremely unpleasant. But how to let go of resentment and not feel angry and bitter all the time? Let resentment go and feel peace shutterstock/NaruFoto Even though we often think we do not have a choice, in fact, we can always pick our emotional reactions. As the research clearly shows, when you develop your emotional intelligence, you can regulate your emotional reactions more wisely. Harms of holding a grudge Indeed, not understanding how to let go of resentment can damage both your physical and mental health. In my case, I developed two stress-related chronic conditions. At least half of the stress I experienced was caused by being caught up in my head with the injury and people causing it. Not to mention being unable to laugh, feel happy, grateful, or be productive. Ruminating about past hurts occupied my mind. As a result, I practically missed years of my life and functioned on autopilot. While I was living in the awfully unpleasant past, the real-time events went by unnoticed. Abundant research confirms the ills of not releasing resentment and bitterness. When you do not learn how to stop being resentful, you are exposing yourself to adverse physiological processes that can make you physically unwell. Indeed, according to extensive research, unforgiveness seems to be linked to higher risks of heart attack, high cholesterol, elevated blood pressure and intensified chronic pain. “When you do not learn how to let go of resentment, you are exposing yourself to adverse physiological processes that can make you physically unwell.” Furthermore, people who do not know how to let go of resentment are under greater levels of stress, as a longitudinal study on over 300 participants demonstrated. As you surely know, stress is linked to a wide array of psychosomatic conditions. It may trigger or exacerbate a range of physical illnesses. Finally, not being able to release resentment, according to research, can also make you vulnerable to emotional disturbances, such as anxiety and depression. So, how can you let go of resentment and heal from its negative consequences? How to let go of resentment When examining the ways to release resentment, we need to understand one thing first. There are effective — and more effective ways to forgive. Even though holding a grudge is unhealthy in any case, if you truly want to reap the benefits of forgiveness, it should come from your heart. In other words, you need to feel it, not just act by it. Shades of forgiveness Scientific findings reveal which kind of forgiveness is most beneficial. Yes, believe it or not, not all forgiveness is the same. In fact, there are two main forms of forgiveness, and they have different effects, according to one study: Decisional forgiveness is when you intentionally resist an unforgiving stance and respond differently towards the person who wronged you. Emotional forgiveness happens when you replace the negative unforgiving emotions with positive, other-oriented emotions. The same study revealed that emotional forgiveness is the form that leads to more direct health and well-being consequences. It involves psychophysiological changes responsible for the benefits of letting go of resentment. RELATED: How to Forgive Someone Such conclusions were confirmed in another study from 2016. The findings showed that when we ruminate about past transgressions against us and keep experiencing adverse emotions, we are most vulnerable to the perils of unforgiveness. In other words, when we do not reach emotional forgiveness and release anger and resentment, we open ourselves up to the risk of mental health problems. Stop Being Resentful: 7 Steps OK, so you are ready to relinquish the bitterness. But how to actually let go of resentment? From personal experiences and of those close to me, I know that parting from the position of the victim may be a challenge. The grudge often seems like the only path towards getting justice. However, remember that it is merely an illusion. Only releasing resentment will liberate you and honour your worth. Freedom and peace await you at the end of this path. Here are seven steps to take to help you on your way: 1. Remember The first step, unpleasant as it may be, will be to remember the transgressions. Relive the emotions and hark back to all the details. Reflect on how the hurt and the anger have affected you since. It is vital to bring to light what you want to let go. Otherwise, parts of it may stay hidden and keep poisoning you. 2. Summon witnesses to your hurt Remember what I said earlier about not knowing how to let go of resentment because it was my only way of showing the pain I was going through? Instead of doing so, speak about your wounds. Talk to a therapist or a friend. Break the silence. It will be easier to release the bitterness when others witness your hurt. Holding onto resentment can cause mental and physical illness 3. Honour your pain In an effort to escape pain, we may suppress it. Do not minimise the effects of the offence. Negating the damage will not help you heal nor forgive. Acknowledge the extent of the pain and the trauma you may have endured. You will grow from it – do not worry. 4. Explore perspectives Now that you have gotten in touch with the hurt in all of its nastiness, you can start changing things. First, see the bigger picture. As unwilling as you may be to do so, you need to understand and empathise with the other person. RELATED: Changing Perspective and Gaining Happiness Go back to the experiences that made them into who they are. That does not mean that everything is alright if the person has had a traumatic childhood. It merely helps you understand that they, somehow, believe that they were right. 5. Let go of expectations Do not expect the transgressor to apologise. Do not wait for them to change or suddenly grasp the consequences of their actions. They may experience an epiphany and fall to their knees begging for forgiveness (and yes, we all hope for that to happen). “Find it in you to let go of your resentment. Feel it. Let the hurt and the offence float down the river of life and wave it goodbye.” Still, your liberation from resentment ought not to depend on it. You were hurt by another. Do not depend on another to mend it. You are the one doing the healing. So, let go of your expectations of others and focus on yourself. 6. Forgive deeply Remember the part about emotional forgiveness? This is where it comes into play. Letting go of resentment merely because your religion, principles, circumstances or life philosophy requires you to will not be enough. You need to tap into the part of you that feels connected to all living beings. You will need to embrace the fact that life comes with some hurt. Find it in you to release resentment and bitterness. Feel it. Let the hurt and the offence float down the river of life and wave it goodbye. 7. Forgive yourself Now, there is one last step for you to make. After you have travelled the path above, you may discover that there is one more person you need to forgive. It is yourself. Research reveals that you might be heading for depression if you do not. Therefore, forgive yourself for being at the wrong place at the wrong time, for not seeing the signs of danger or for letting wrong people into your life. Takeaway: How to Let Go of Resentment Resentment is one of the most efficient ways to make your life miserable. Is it not sufficient that you were mistreated? Do you have to keep harming yourself long after the transgression is over? Releasing resentment does not equal condoning actions that were plain wrong. It does not mean that you accept being abused or insulted. In fact, what letting go of resentment does represent is embracing self-respect and self-love. To let go of resentment is to decide to take care of yourself and not expect others to do it for you. Letting go of resentment means you have become greater than the harm you experienced. • Main image: shutterstock/KieferPix happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Gardening offers a huge range of mental health benefits, from reducing stress and depression to boosting your immune system. Dee Marques explores seven science-backed reasons to get busy in the garden and boost your well-being. When it comes to strengthening our mental health and finding happiness, common suggestions include taking up a creative hobby, meditation, physical activity, and building solid relationships with others. But did you know that getting green-fingered with gardening could also play an important role in achieving and maintaining happiness and mental well-being? Indeed, the mental health benefits of gardening are many. That could perhaps help explain why gardening seems to be the national pastime in many countries, such as in the UK. According to a recent survey, 80 per cent of British people believe gardening had a positive impact on their mental health, and that the benefits were even better than hitting the gym. Survey participants also said that gardening gave them a stronger sense of achievement than tasks like tidying up or cleaning. Furthermore, a research study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that gardening for as little as 10 minutes per week had a positive impact on health and reduced the risk of developing heart disease. When looking into these studies, what stands out is that we don’t need to spend endless hours in the garden, or even have a traditional garden at all to enjoy it mental health benefits. That's because gardening is within everyone’s reach; you can get started regardless of space or time limitations. For example, using a window box to grow herbs. But before we dig deeper, let's take a quick look at where the concept of gardening for mental health comes from. The healing power of gardening through history The connection between people, nature and mental well-being is rooted in history and goes back to ancient Egypt, where royals who felt mentally restless were encouraged to go for walks in their gardens. Eventually, gardening was tested as a clinical therapy during the 18th and 19th centuries. At around the same time, one of the founding fathers of modern psychology, Benjamin Rush, believed that getting hands-on (and hands dirty) in the garden had a healing effect on his patients. A few decades later, greenhouses and gardens were added to rehabilitation units of hospitals who treated world war veterans. RELATED: How Connecting With Nature Benefits Our Well-Being Fast forward to the present day, and the concept of therapeutic horticulture is practised all over the world. From Italy to Singapore, there are certified horticultural therapy gardens that bring the benefits of gardening for mental health to people of all ages and walks of life. Smells great, feels great! Gardening boosts your mental well-being shutterstock/Dean Drobot This renewed interest in gardening is also a result of changing demographics. The number of elderly people continues to grow in many countries of the Western world, and many have found that gardening is a way of offering support to the growing segment of this population. All this sounds really encouraging, but how exactly can gardening create a sense of happiness and well-being? The 7 mental health benefits of gardening It's clear that gardening for mental health is more than a passing trend. Getting busy with plants is like an escape valve from the pressures and stress of everyday life, but there are other important benefits you won’t want to miss out on. Here are seven ways in which gardening and horticulture therapy can help if you're feeling lonely, low in energy and motivation, or struggling with anxiety. 1. Stress relief One of the main benefits of gardening for mental health is its ability to relieve stress. Researchers saw this relaxing effect when investigating bathing in green or forest bathing, the Japanese concept of walking in forested areas. Gardening also provides a welcome break from our increasingly tech-dominated lives. A study found there were significant differences in mood when comparing participants’ response to two tasks: working on a computer and transplanting. “In a recent survey, 80 per cent of British people believe gardening had a positive impact on their mental health... the benefits were even better than the gym.” When participants were transplanting, they experienced lower stress levels than when they spent time in front of a computer. Researchers also noticed participants had lower blood pressure when transplanting, suggesting there’s a physical basis for the de-stressing effect of gardening. Additionally, research led by Vrije University Medical Centre in the Netherlands showed that simply looking at an image of a green landscape induced relaxation, in contrast to the constant demands for attention of urban landscapes. “Short durations of viewing green pictures may help people to recover from stress,” van den Berg told The New York Times. 2. Grounding and strengthen connections Gardening fosters a sense of grounding, as it helps us to reconnect with our roots as human beings. People who get involved in gardening often experience a deeper sense of belonging and connection with nature. This is no small feat: think about how disconnected the majority of people are from something as basic as the origin of the food they eat. By contrast, gardening grounds you in the value of growing your own food – even if you’re 'only' growing herbs. This sense of grounding also applies to the social sphere. Gardening can help strengthen your connection with others and offers an opportunity to meet people with the same interests. Visiting your nearest urban garden or allotment can connect you with like-minded folk. One benefit of gardening is reduced isolation shutterstock/Tania Kolinko 3. Staying present Staying in the present moment through mindfulness has a long list of benefits, such as reduced rumination and stress reduction. Gardening is a way of practising mindfulness as you need to concentrate on what you're doing. Furthermore, you can also take time to enjoy the beauty around you. Indeed, all tasks related to gardening (such as digging, pruning or weeding) force us to focus on the task in hand, and in doing so we’re more likely to stay in the present and put aside our worries, even if it’s only temporarily. 4. A sense of purpose Another benefit of gardening for mental health is that you can achieve a sense of worth and purpose. This happens when you get directly involved in something that is hands-on and you can see the end result of your effort. There’s a sense of pride and validation in choosing the plants, herbs and flowers that make you happy, and the pride you feel with nurturing them. In fact, studies show that gardening causes an increase in feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin, as helping plants grow stimulates our identity as nurturers. 5. Reduces the risk of Alzheimer's Gardening is related to better brain function and to improved concentration and memory. Some studies have found that it can even reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s and dementia. One long-term study from Australia followed nearly 3,000 older adults for over 15 years, tracking incidence of all types of dementia and assessing a variety of lifestyle factors. The researchers concluded that daily gardening was the single biggest risk reduction for dementia, reducing incidence by over a third – 36 per cent to be precise. “People who get involved in gardening often experience the mental health benefit of a deeper sense of belonging and connection with nature.” The factors that cause Alzheimer’s and its progression are poorly understood. However, as gardening involves so many of our critical functions, such as learning, strength, endurance, dexterity and problem solving, it could be this combination that contributes to warding off the illness in older adults. RELATED: How to Talk to a Parent With Dementia 6. Helps you to keep in shape Gardening involves a lot of physical exercise and so is a form of physical therapy. Weeding, digging, and carrying bags and pots around are all a good workout that can help you keep in shape. According to SAGA magazine, just half an hour of these fat-burning gardening activities can help shift a lot of calories: Digging and shovelling: 250 calories Mowing the lawn: 195 calories Weeding: 105 calories Raking: 100 calories What’s more, regular workouts can help you sleep better, and restful sleep is another essential element in achieving good health. Gardening creates a sense of purpose and achievement shutterstock/Alexander Raths 7. Strengthens your immune system You can strengthen your immune system simply by being exposed to natural light and Vitamin D while you’re gardening outdoors. In turn, this helps build resistance again chronic disease. Interestingly, it's also been suggested that the dirt you end up with under your fingernails may help to boost immunity. Mycobacterium vaccae, a so-called 'friendly' soil bacteria which is common in garden dirt, has been shown to alleviate symptoms of allergies, asthma and psoriasis, all of which can stem from a weakened immune system. In fact, Mycobacterium vaccae has also been shown to reduce depression, so don't be afraid to get your hands dirty: the bacteria can be absorbed by inhalation or ingested from your vegetables. Conclusion: gardening benefits our mental health These are only the proven benefits of gardening for mental health. In this post, we’ve seen that gardening is a natural anti-depressant that can have a powerful reset effect in our minds and bodies. Getting green-fingered is an accessible activity that requires minimal investment. If you have a balcony, a window sill, or even hanging space in your home, you can start gardening and experience a boost in happiness and well-being. It’s that simple! ● Main image: shutterstock/iko happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Organic food | Kitchen garden | Self care Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Is it possible to hack happiness? Sonia Vadlamani explores 8 research-backed strategies that can help us intentionally cultivate greater contentment in our daily lives. Happiness can often feel elusive – all of us wish to lead fulfilling, joyful lives, but ironically, the pursuit can be exhausting. The UN-sponsored World Happiness Report mirrors this paradox, with the rankings for the United States dropping sharply from 15th spot in 2023 to 24th in 2025. Emerging issues like loneliness and inflation have been cited as the major contributors to this decline. The happiness rankings for the United Kingdom continue to plummet too, with the plunge to the 23rd place all the way from 20th the year before. Meanwhile, the country that has consistently topped the World Happiness Ranking for the eighth consecutive year is Finland, sparking global intrigue about what makes the Finnish way of life so favourable and if there’s a way to make these principles – or happiness ‘hacks’ – relevant and actionable for the rest of the world. What are happiness hacks? Happiness hacks are simple, effective strategies devised to boost one’s overall wellbeing and enhance levels. You can think of them as psychological tricks to make yourself happy or simply ‘happy habits’ that, when put consistently into practice, can make a long-term impact. Strengthening social connections is a key happiness hack According to Alex Palmer, New York Times-bestselling author of Happiness Hacks: 100% Scientific! Curiously Effective!, “Small changes today can lead to big changes tomorrow. And that’s where happiness starts.” In essence, happiness hacks are small, intentional changes that can result in significant improvements in one’s mood, outlook, and life-satisfaction levels. So, how can I increase my happiness? While your genetic makeup and life circumstances do influence your happiness baseline to a great extent, research suggests that happiness can also be a conscious choice. Boosting happiness levels requires intentional effort on one’s behalf, and the happiness hacks listed here can help improve your wellbeing levels over time. 8 happiness hacks that deliver We’ve gathered some evidence-based insights – some familiar, others unexpected – to make the pursuit of happiness more achievable (and enjoyable). Here are eight happiness hacks or strategies to help you develop more meaning and joy across all pillars of life. 1. Strengthen your social connections A groundbreaking Harvard study involving 724 participants over 85 years found that the most important key to a happy life isn’t wealth or success but having strong, healthy relationships. In other words, hacking happiness begins with developing enriching social connections and nurturing relationships that matter to you. RELATED: The 6 Qualities of True Friendship The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits No Friends? Here's How to Make New Ones as an Adult To keep these relationships healthy and enriching, experts suggest practicing ‘social fitness,’ which refers to taking stock of one’s friendships and connections, evaluating these social connections and devising a realistic plan to devote time and effort to strengthen them. 2. Spend time in nature Spending time outdoors in nature has been linked to numerous physical and mental health benefits, including better heart health, lesser stress levels, and even lower mortality rates, according to Heather Eliassen, professor of nutrition and epidemiology at Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health. She explains, “Exposure to green space results in mental restoration and increased positive emotions and decreased anxiety and rumination.” “Happiness hacks are simple, effective strategies devised to boost one’s overall wellbeing and enhance happiness levels. You can think of them as psychological tricks to make yourself happy.” Another study links spending 120 minutes a week in nature to wellbeing and happiness. Hacking happiness, therefore, can be as simple as reconnecting with nature by stepping out to soak up some sunshine or taking a peaceful stroll in a park as you breathe fresh air. Take this happiness hack further by incorporating the calming power of meditation and try meditating in nature. 3. Break a sweat Regular physical activity is well-documented for improving overall wellbeing, relieving stress, and alleviating signs of depression. So, if you’re wondering how to hack happiness, get your blood pumping with a form of exercise you enjoy, be it strength training, Zumba, swimming, or dancing. Even a brisk 20-minute walk can elevate your mood by triggering the release of endorphins – your body’s ‘feel-good’ hormones that promote relaxation and a positive attitude. Hike in the hills and combine two happiness hacks at once (nature and exercise) 4. Healthy food, healthy mood A growing body of research supports the idea that you are what you eat. Simply put, since food fuels your brain and body to perform their required functions, the quality and composition of the food determine how you feel and function. What you eat has a direct effect on your brain function and mood. RELATED: The Gut-Brain Axis: Understanding Mood and Food Additionally, studies indicate a strong connection between gut health and emotional wellbeing, with any imbalance in the gut microbiome potentially resulting in low mood and signs of depression. Thus, hacking happiness can begin on your plate, preferably with a balanced diet consisting of lean proteins, green leafy vegetables, legumes and healthy fats. 5. Invest in therapy Sometimes, even with all the psychological tricks to make yourself happy, you may find your inner fears and limiting beliefs holding you back. In such situations, taking the next step toward a fulfilling life may feel challenging without external support, such as good counselling. In fact, a 2009 study by the University of Warwick and the University of Manchester found that therapy could be up to 32 times more effective at making you happier than making more money through a pay raise or a lottery win. While the idea of seeking therapy can feel daunting, understanding that it may help uncover your authentic potential and propel you toward your best self can make it a step worth taking. 6. Minimize your choices Living in the digital age has conditioned us to believe that having more choice means more freedom. However, it can also result in decision fatigue. As a matter of fact, an experiment by Stanford professor Baba Shiv uncovered that facing a constant multitude of choices can place a ‘cognitive load’ on the brain, negatively impacting your decision-making ability and mental peace. Therefore, if you’re wondering how to hack happiness, try narrowing your choices – not by avoiding or delaying decisions, but by streamlining your decision-making process. 7. Experience the magic of novelty often While a set routine can boost productivity, introducing novelty occasionally in your schedule can enhance your wellbeing and spark happiness, according to a 2020 study published in Nature Neuroscience. “People feel happier when they have more variety in their daily routines – when they go to novel places and have a wider array of experiences,” explains Catherine Hartley, assistant professor at New York University's department of psychology and co-author of this study. “Hacking happiness begins with developing enriching social connections and nurturing relationships that matter to you.” So, if you’ve been feeling stuck or bored with life, it may be time to embrace the magic of novelty. Liz Moody, the creator of the viral neuroplasticity hack ‘Novelty Rule,’ emphasizes that these novel experiences don’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. Instead, hacking happiness through novelty could be as simple as brushing your teeth with non-dominant hand, a tiny addition in your routine, such as creative journaling, learning a language, or a new experiment in the kitchen. Travel can be a way to welcome novelty as well. “You needn’t even go very far,” Karyn Hall, author of The Emotionally Sensitive Person, explained to Psychology Today: “Even a day trip to a nearby town can offer fresh sights and experiences.” You may be surprised by how many hidden gems exist not far from your doorstep! 8. Practice gratitude Humans are wired for negativity by default, but research suggests that expressing gratitude can help us shift our focus through enhanced neural sensitivity toward positive experiences. Robert Emmons, psychologist and professor at UC Davis, emphasized gratitude's social power in an article for Greater Good Magazine: “I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion, because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.” Daily gratitude journalling can build happiness levels Indeed, daily gratitude journaling can be an effective way to start hacking happiness – take 5 or 10 minutes to write down three things you’re grateful for and one meaningful experience you had the previous day. This happiness hack will gradually train your mind to embrace a positive outlook. What are Helsinki happiness hacks? According to a BBC report, some of the factors contributing to Finland’s robust happiness index can be attributed to the presence of a strong social welfare system, the country’s commitment to equality and well-being for its citizens, and low levels of corruption. “Daily gratitude journaling can be an effective way to start hacking happiness – take 5 or 10 minutes to write down three things you’re grateful for.” In addition to the institutional strengths, Finland’s cultural emphasis on spending more time in its abundance of nature plus the inherent attitude of resilience and strength in the Finnish people – known locally as sisu – are two of the widely-known wellness practices – or the so-called Helsinki happiness hacks – that contribute to their sustained overall happiness levels as well. Takeaway: How can I make myself happy? While happiness hacks are effective tools grounded in psychological research, these strategies may not always guarantee consistent happiness for everyone. In fact, a 2018 study found that the constant pursuit of happiness may sometimes leave you feeling not happy at all – mainly since striving too hard to be happy can ironically consume all the time one can spend being happy. That’s why it’s important to stay connected to your authentic self and understand what fulfills you – this self-awareness can render these happiness hacks more effective. Try being more intentional about living in the present – and make room to focus on the good mood here and now! ● Images: shutterstock/Tint Media, shutterstock/Vergani Fotografia, shutterstock/alexgo. photography happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Neuroscience | Stress management | Nature Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

The companionship and mental health benefits pets bring is widely known, but did you know the healing power of pets extends to physical relief as well? Ed Gould discovers five key health benefits that our furry friends can bring. What is it about pets that make them so therapeutic? It's a question I've asked myself before, having benefited from family furry friends and from spending time with other people's pets too. You might have posed the same question yourself. After all, animals are now routinely used in geriatric homes and hospital wards to lift people's spirits. So, if the health benefits of pets are known to professional caregivers, then the healing power of pets should not come as a surprise in domestic situations. Pets will often show signs of grief if they're separated from owners and sometimes display even deeper connections, such as knowing when we're in pain or danger. Of course, one of the key parts of the curative power of pets is that they love us in an unconditional way that human relationships rarely achieve. So, what does the latest research tell us about the health benefits of having a pet around the home? The healing power of pets: what science says Scientific research into the healing power of pets has been ongoing for decades. Most new studies focus on just one or two health benefits of pets but many researchers would agree that the advantages of pet ownership are multi-faceted in terms of healthcare. Let's take a look at some of the latest research. 1. Stress reduction and pet companionship Many pet owners would gladly admit that spending time with their animal helps them to relax and keep things in perspective. Returning from a tough day at work to a welcome from your pet – which really doesn't care about work stress – can help you to instantly calm down. Therapy dogs are used in hospital wards shutterstock/Monkey Business Images A 2019 study into animal interactions and stress conducted at Washington State University found that students were much more relaxed if they interacted with animals prior to taking their exams. Most reported a heightened state of tension that was relieved when they spent as few as ten minutes with animals. Pet owners can expect even better results due to greater levels of companionship. 2. Lowering blood pressure with pets According to Allen McConnell, a professor of psychology based at Miami University, the healing power of pets is very real – enough to lower your blood pressure. McConnell, who studies the ways humans interact with their pets, says that owning an animal can give people a sense of purpose and belonging that augments feelings of positivity which translates to health benefits. Stanley Coren, a psychology professor and neuropsychological researcher from the University of British Columbia agrees with these findings. “Your blood pressure lowers when you interact with an animal in a friendly way and your muscles relax, too,” he said. Another study in the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease said that stroking animals – even pet snakes – can help to bring blood pressure down. 3. Heart disease and the health benefits of pets In 1997 American medic Larry Dossey published a literature review concerning the medicinal power of pets. In it, he noted that at that time there were over 2,000 therapy programs in the US using animals to assist people with a wide range of conditions. In particular, he highlighted a scientific study that dated back to 1980. “One of the key parts of the healing power of pets is that they love us in an unconditional way that human relationships rarely achieve.” Conducted by Erika Friedmann of the University of Pennsylvania, it showed that people who suffered from heart disease were more likely to survive for a longer period if they had a pet at home. Following their treatment, people with a pet in their lives to return to had a much greater chance of recovery. In fact, pets were found to be a stronger predictor of survival than even having a supportive family around the individual concerned! 4. Improved mental health Many people with a pet will report that they feel mentally better off for having them in their lives. The scientific research into pet ownership and conditions like depression are mixed, however, with some backing up anecdotal evidence and others showing no significant healing power of pets either way. Stroking a pet lowers blood pressure shutterstockk/Damir Khabirov Certainly, pet ownership can lead to social interactions, especially when walking a dog, for example, which is known to help with conditions like depression and anxiety. According to work conducted by Sandy Branson of the University of Texas Science Center, homebound adults, particularly older people, do get a psychological lift from pet ownership. Her research looked into cognitive function and depression. In it, she found a significant correlation between better mental health and pet ownership among older people. 5. The healing power of pets and hormonal responses According to the aforementioned study in the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, touching a pet not only helps to lower blood pressure, but it also boosts our output of oxytocin, a happiness hormone that promotes feelings of trust and relaxation. “People who suffered from heart disease were more likely to survive for a longer period if they had a pet at home.” More widely, dog owners can expect an upturn in immunoglobulin A, an antibody that helps the immune system. Furthermore, a study published in Oxford in 2017 showed that children relaxed better in the company of pets, largely due to a perceived drop in hormones like cortisol which are associated with stress responses. 6. Mindfulness and pet ownership Pets help to keep you anchored in the here and now. Because animals tend not to express feelings of anxiety of what might be or what has passed, they help us to live in the moment, a key aspect of various forms of mindfulness including MBSR, for example. According to an article published by Harvard Medical School, mindfulness can be boosted by dog ownership, especially when you go on a walk together. Dr Ann Berger, a researcher at the NIH Clinical Center in Maryland agrees with this idea. She says that the foundations of mindfulness are based on attention, intention, compassion and awareness. “These are things that animals bring to the table innately that people have to learn,” she says. The takeaway: the healing power of pets However you look at it, pets are beneficial for their owners in numerous ways. In terms of health benefits, our understanding is still ongoing, but few people regret owning one in terms of either their physical or mental well-being. Make sure to give your furry friends some extra attention and reward them for all the health benefits they bring! Main image: shutterstock/Africa Studio happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Burnout | Stress management Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Most of us have probably asked ourselves 'what is the point of life'? Indeed, sometimes our time on Earth can seem futile. However, Dee Marques argues that finding meaning in your existence is key, and explores the 3 essential questions you should ask yourself to help find it. There comes a point in our lives where, no matter how successful we think we are, we’re bound to question why we’re here, what we're doing, and where we’re going. Sometimes, posing these questions can help us evaluate our goals and lifestyle and improve them for better physical and mental health. In other cases – perhaps when we're feeling low or vulnerable – wondering what the point of life is can amplify feelings of depression, anxiety and emptiness. As humans, we’re unique in the animal kingdom; among many other reasons because of our quest for finding fulfilment and happiness in life. We aim to do more than eat, sleep, reproduce, and stay safe. This quest for meaning has characterised humans since the beginning of times and it’s a central question in every culture. And, according to scientists, the search for meaning seems to be coded into our nature: our brains are larger and with this comes the ability to appreciate things beyond meeting our basic needs. MORE LIKE THIS: Feeling Defeated By Life? Here's How To Take Back Power Why Do I Hate My Life? 10 Ways to Start Loving It Again Feeling Lost in Life? Move On In 7 Steps And we can do more than appreciate the positive and joyful aspects of life. Trying to find meaning in negative experiences is also an ability that’s unique to humans, and that’s precisely what leads us to ask, 'what is the point of life'. So, how can we go about finding an answer? Let’s look at some practical ideas. What's the point of life? What if the purpose of life is finding a way to forget about the question 'what Is the point of life? Maybe there’s no single thing that brings meaning per se, but the journey itself may be what helps us find purpose. And when we talk about the journey, we mean every aspect of it, from savouring the pleasant experiences to learning from mistakes. Feel life is pointless? It's essential to find meaning and purpose But for the journey to be meaningful, it must be the result of your own choices. Some people try to find meaning in wealth and fame, but this doesn’t have to be your story. As a living being, you’re in a unique position to decide what your purpose should be. We didn’t choose to be born, but we can choose how to live our lives and how to enjoy it. “What if the purpose of life is finding a way to forget about the question 'what is the point of life?'” To do that, it helps focusing on being consciously grounded in the present. Practising mindfulness creates a greater awareness of what it means to be alive. It helps your mind get more in touch with your emotions, reactions, and with your five senses. This type of clarity can open your eyes to things or experiences that help you to live your life with purpose. And mindfulness is not the only thing that can bring us clarity: there are some questions you can ask yourself to inspire your search for purpose. The 3 questions to help you find meaning The quest for meaning in life is so vast that the very thought of getting started can make you feel overwhelmed. Discovering what the point of life is remains a lifelong journey, and the steps and stages won’t be the same for everyone. However, there are three key questions that can put you on the right track to begin the journey of discovery: 1. What would you like to be remembered for? As humans, we tend to focus on the present and the future. If you examine your ambitions, you may find that they’re limited to what you want to achieve this year, next year, on in the next decade. But have you thought about what you’d want to be remembered for? MORE LIKE THIS: How to Find Yourself Again: 10 Steps in Creating Clarity Bored With Life? Here Are 8 Ways to Shake Things Up When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading The answer to this question is usually related to career or spiritual goals rather than material ones, and thinking about it can help bring into focus the true essence of your being. If you're feeling lost in life, writing your obituary can be a great exercise in confirming what you'd like to be remembered for. 2. If you had super-powers, which problem would you solve first? There’s no shortage of serious problems in the world, and while it’s not always in our hands to single-handedly solve them, thinking about which problem you’d give priority can hint at where your main concerns are. Once you know that, you can start looking for ways of doing your part. For example, if you find that you’d want to end world hunger, you may want to spend some time volunteering at a soup kitchen, or creating a community food garden. 3. What’s the one activity that makes you lose track of time? We all know that time drags when we’re doing something we dislike. But the opposite is also true: there are some activities that make time fly because they get our full attention and bring us a sense of fulfilment. Losing track of time when doing something is known as finding your flow, and it's a clear sign that the activity taps into the things that make us come alive. So, spending more time in those activities can help you enjoy a more meaningful life. These thee questions are a great starting point if you are feeling the pointlessness of life. Our guide to searching for meaning in life has even more suggestions to guide you to clarity in what brings What is the point of life? Being enough There’s no doubt that knowing what your purpose in life is can bring you closer to happiness. But if you’ve been trying to find out what your life role is and haven't found an answer, don’t torture yourself. People’s experiences are different and not everyone will find the right answer at the same time. Gratitude: having enough can be enough What’s more, rushing into finding an answer will only put you under pressure and cause stress. Instead, try to see it from a different perspective: if you haven’t found an answer yet, simply “being” should be enough for now. Here are four suggestions on how to make that work: 1. Find abundance in having enough The powers of gratitude are proven by science. Make a list of things you already have in your life that make you feel blessed and grateful. Through mindfulness practice, you can find abundance in these things, and you may find that having enough is, well, enough! 2. Get comfortable with discomfort Life can feel like an uphill battle sometimes, and it's at those times when we might wonder what the point of life is. However, discomfort in life is unavoidable and trying to find meaning in those experiences often leads to frustration. So, try to accept life for what it is and know that the hard times won't last for ever. So called tragic optimism acknowledges adversity while holding space for hope. “Discovering what the point of life is remains a lifelong journey and the steps and stages won’t be the same for everyone.” 3. Let your intuition guide you Finding the meaning of life requires some analytical thinking, but sometimes logical reasoning doesn’t have all the answers. The key is to balance rational thoughts with intuition, which sometimes will contradict all logical arguments. Listen and trust that inner voice because it usually knows what’s good and right for you. 4. Forget what others think or are doing Some people seem to have their life’s purpose figured out, but comparing yourself to them isn’t helpful. The point of life is to live it in your own terms and at your own pace, and that should be the main focus. For the same reason, don’t let other people’s opinions affect you when it comes to what you find meaningful or how you go about finding your ambition, role or purpose. The Takeaway: Avoiding Pointlessness in Life So, what is the point of life? If there’s one thing that holds true for most of us, it's that the point of life is to live and experience things to the fullest, whatever that “fullest” means for you right now. Don’t rush your quest for meaning. Instead, make a point of finding joy in what you already have and try your best to feel grounded in the present. At some point, you’ll find the answer you’re looking for, and in the meantime, enjoy the journey! • Main image: shutterstock/Song_about_summer, shutterstock/WAYHOME studio Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Radical self care is about making decisions that honour our true selves. From setting uncompromising boundaries to nurturing your authentic self, Dee Marques explores 8 radical self care examples you can incorporate into your life to gain stability and happiness. What comes to your mind when you hear the term “radical self care”? For some people, they may it associate with taking time out to pamper themselves, but this type of self care goes way beyond scented candles and relaxing bubble baths. And although these smaller acts of physical self care have their place, radical self care involves a much deeper level of attention and consideration for our mind, body and spirit. A good example of radical self care is the decision taken by US gymnastics champion Simone Biles, who bravely withdrew from Tokyo Olympics in 2021 to prioritise her mental health. Reflecting on her decision, she said that "we have to protect our minds and our bodies and not just go out and do what the world wants us to do”, emphasising that this type of choice isn’t a sign of weakness, but of strength. Indeed, radical self care is about making choices that honour our true selves. It's about taking a stand for our inner stability – something that can be life-changing. Radical Self Care: the History While the volume of Google searches for “radical self care” has boomed from 2015 onwards, the origins of this concept go way back to the 1960s and 1970s. In fact, radical self care has always had a revolutionary flair to it. Starting in the 1960s, activists within the Black Power movement, including the Black Panthers and writers like Audre Lorde, affirmed that self care was crucial when it came to survival under oppression. Practicing radical self care can be life-changing These revolutionary voices understood that radical self care meant attending to their bodies and minds on a daily basis, as they battled with systemic injustice, whether that meant being diligent with nutrition, meditation, or yoga. Not only that, but radical self care also had a community focus, as many of these activists created wellness and social service programmes targeting groups affected by inequality, and turning self care into a form of activism. So, What is Radical Self Care Exactly? The full extent of radical self care is perfectly described by Audre Lorde, when she said: “caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare”. Nowadays, we’re used to thinking about self care as those Instagrammable moments of pampering, quiet, and relaxation, but there’s so much more to radical self care than me-time. “Radical self care is about making choices that honour our true selves. It's about taking a stand for our inner stability – something that can be life-changing.” To understand what radical self care really means, it helps to look at the origin of the word “radical”, meaning “root”. Radical self care isn’t about masking problems with comfort, trying endless yoga programmes or the latest fad in self care routines. Instead, it’s about going to the root, tending to the source. We’re talking about the type of care that tackles burnout, systemic pressures, and emotional labour with proactive healing, and not just with generic rest. RELATED: Be Good to Yourself: 8 Self-Love Techniques 12 Ways to Practise Self-Acceptance Self Validation: 5 Ways to Develop It This means prioritising yourself, even when putting your needs first disappoints other people. Just like fellow sports star Simone Biles, tennis player Naomi Osaka gave an outstanding example of this at the 2021 French Open. She refused to talk to the media as she felt mentally fragile and subsequently withdrew from the competition, all in the face of considerable pressure and coercion. Radical self care also means creating the space to live authentically and connect with your true self, aligning your choices with your coping, social, creative, and physical needs. Essentially, radical self care is about care with conviction – a transformational practice that recognises your well-being is non-negotiable. Making time for physical wellness is another radical self care example What are Some Examples of Radical Self Care? Because radical self care isn’t only radical at the root, but in its reach, it’s vital to ensure all areas of your life are covered by this commitment to prioritising your well-being. So, how does this look like in real life? Here are some examples: Leaving a pressured social role or job that doesn’t align with your needs and values. Declining an invitation if it disrupts your energy, even if it involves people you care about. Prioritising therapy, coaching, or community healing circles over mindless distraction. Speaking up about unrealistic expectations, even if that goes against the majority’s opinion. Ending toxic relationship dynamics or unhealthy communication loops. Taking meal planning seriously to ensure your meals are nutritious and honour your body. How Do You Practice Radical Self Care? Here are eight ways you can decide to make changes that honour your true self, cultivating radical self care. 1. Cultivate Relationships That Expand You The more seriously you take your well-being, the more sensitive you become to anything that drains your energy – and that includes people. If there are toxic people in your circle, or anyone who drags you down, radical self care demands you let go and focus on connections full of respect, reciprocity, and depth. 2. Set Uncompromising Boundaries One of the starting points of radical self care is realising you can’t give your 100% to everything at the same time. To protect your energy, be selective with your boundaries at work and at home, making sure your needs are clearly expressed (for example, “I’m unavailable after 6pm” or “I can’t handle extra projects right now.”) Protect your energy by setting uncompromising boundaries 3. Say “No” Cutting obligations may disappoint others, but each “no” frees space for your mental and emotional health. Saying “no” also includes refusing to give into distraction (such as mindless scrolling), when you could be using that time on activities that bring you tangible benefits. “Radical self care means prioritising yourself, even when putting your needs first disappoints other people. That often means saying 'no'.” Studies have shown that children who say “no” and delay gratification did better socially and academically later in life – and as writer and psychotherapist Bryan Robinson says – “saying no more than you say yes is a trait of healthy and successful people”. 4. Make Time For Physical Wellness Although radical self care is much more than taking a relaxing bath or doing yoga, attending to the body is an important aspect. Make time every day for activities that respect your body’s levels energy, such as a fitness or exercise routine like mindful running, and complement this with conscious eating choices. 5. Nurture Your Authentic Self Find opportunities to voice your truths, stand by your values, and celebrate your cultural, spiritual, or political identity. To cultivate your authentic self, you may want to explore rituals that reaffirm who you are or ancestral healing practices. 6. Practice Creative Expression Your authentic self has a creative side, and research across different cultures and age ranges shows that creative activities like writing, making art, and singing are correlated to higher levels of autonomy, empowerment, and stress relief. How to practice radical self cafe? Try creative expression 7. Embrace Rest As Resistance Review your routines often and realign them around rest. This could mean anything from taking a whole day to yourself, to making 15-minute appointments with yourself. Pausing isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a choice you make out of self-love. As author Ivory Bennett said about Simone Biles’ act of rest as resistance: “Biles is a bold and beautiful example of duality. You can be strong and choose rest”. 8. Swap Guilt For Trust Statistics show that 1 in 4 Americans feel guilty for investing in self care. When you feel guilty about attending to your well-being, you’re more likely to be inconsistent with your radical self care practice. It’s much more beneficial to approach every act of self care with complete trust in your choices and regards the benefits of these self-priority actions. Takeaway: Radical Self Care is Your Foundation Ultimately, radical self care is an act of total self-respect. It asks us to show up consistently for ourselves and reconnects us to our worth beyond productivity or performance – just like Simone Biles said: “I’m more than my accomplishments”. Embracing radical self care as a way of being roots us in our values, protects our energy, and restores our autonomy. What’s more, it invites us to honour our energy, trust our needs, and protect our peace without apology. Whether it’s saying no, resting without guilt, or expressing your truth, each radical choice is a step towards living more intentionally and authentically. Remember that your well-being isn’t a luxury: it’s your foundation. So, take the time and create the space for it. Why not start right now, finding one radical way of caring for and respecting yourself today? ● Images: shutterstock/GoodStudio, shutterstock/Julia Zavalishina, shuttertstock/Josep Suria, shutterstock/Toffee Photo happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Healthy habits | Letting Go | Goal setting Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.