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  1. I use hemp based Cbd oil which helps me without the giggly bit.
  2. I suffer from vehophobia and fear of death as well as generalized anxiety disorder. Some things which do not help Being told to calm down Being told I am not being rational even if I am not being rational Suggesting I am over reacting Trying to apply logic or reason when I am in a full blown panic Condescension Being humiliated for what is something beyond my control Becoming over focussed on the object of my fear Having people shouting or applying stress to me Telling me to just buck up or act more like a man Things that help Information which I can find or have control over like myself choosing to read a book about the subject that scares me Investigating statistics and risks so that I can be more realistic Cognitive behavioral techniques A music I love Spending time with my dog Talking about unrelated pleasant things I enjoy Breathing techniques Or relaxation Crafts Art In some cases confronting the fear by pushing myself forward. This doesn't work if it isn't self motivated.
  3. Hi I'm really struggling with yet another bout of depression. Have suffered since the age of 14 and on anti depressants. I just can't seem to lift myself out of it. I did do a mindfulness course in May which was good. Have a trip of a lifetime to Australia in February which i really thought would help this year but am in tears every day don't want to get out of bed let alone go out.
  4. Hi, I started this a few days ago . I am extremely exited and looking forward to this course. I have done the body scan but can’t tell a difference but I guess it’s to soon to see an change also I fall asleep while listening does it still work , and finally for the first week do I just concentrate on the body scan or all the other topics mentioned in week 1 i.e mindfulness/ mindful eating ? Thank you for this support ?
  5. My 2019 was absolutely terrible for most of it. But the last quarter of it things began to change for the better. My hope for 2020 is continuing my personal growth and further development in mindfulness and forgiveness
  6. Thank you for your kind response. Having the distance has given me the chance to notice what all my friends and family have always seen. That I’m the more caring, loving, supportive and generous one in the relationship and that I deserve to have to same effort put in for me. Some even think that it was an emotionally abusive relationship but I think that might be a bit excessive. I’ve always had the anxiety that, everyone that’s not family leaves and that I care more about people than they do me and she just fed into all of that! I am now taking time for self discovery with mindfulness and meditation, travelling etc... making some like minded friends and I’m feeling more at peace about everything. I hope your having a wonderful Christmas. Best wishes, Marushka
  7. Wow, thanks Joh. I am learning mindfulness and Practicing letting go, and I do meditate. I am much calmer now than I was 8 months ago. I think it's just a build up of emotions and stress, plus regressing back to how I was before I met my wife. I did live with my mum and late stepfather then, due to a lot of factors. Mental health being one of them. I did have many negative influences in my life then, and they started to resurface in the last 18 months as my happiness deteriorated. I think I may need more counseling sessions and to really Express and have a conversation with my mother.
  8. Sorry; I saw 49 under you pic and assumed it was your age lol - classic newbie mistake. So it was your wife's idea for you to move in and she isn't there anymore? I would. encourage you to really think about what it is about being around your Mum that changes your behaviour negatively. I suspect that you are internalising some of the negativity around you and this is contributing to your shutting down/off. If you feel that you are taking on extra emotional stuff that can also impact on your other relationships making you feel more tired, frustrated, irritable etc. Your first reaction when you thought about moving in with her was a gut reaction of negativity - I trust this is based on previous experience and is worth listening to. I don't think you can do much about the silly arguments - besides say they could be a natural part of living closely. Maybe you and your son can get out of the house more before bickering starts. There is an exit strategy for everyone - but you may have to reach out to agencies that can put you in the direction of financial etc support. If you are going to accept your Mum's help; I think you are also choosing to accept any difficulties that come alongside. In which case; time outs, mindfulness practices, meditation etc may help with getting some headspace and balancing good and bad. Buddhism as a practice has plenty to say about being compassionate to those with faults in their characters (don't we all). It encourages people to give gratitude and compassion even if we are feeling negative things ourselves - a 'fake it till you make it strategy'. Also; have you ever sat your Mum down and asked her how she finds living with you? Could be a way to understand her better or correct anything which is negative.
  9. Still have your doubts that meditation really works? Then here's the scientific proof to suggest that it does. Sonia Vadlamani looks at some of the key meditation studies and discusses why consistency is key when it comes to getting results. Gone are the days when meditation was a practice reserved mostly for yogis and Buddhist monks. Meditation is now a phenomenon that has transgressed set notions – thanks in part to the ubiquitous nature of apps like Calm and Headspace – most people have heard of meditation, even if they’ve never tried it. Celebrities such as the Beatles, Madonna and Oprah Winfrey have also played their part in helping meditation permeate into the mainstream. In fact, the global meditation market was worth $1.2 billion in 2017, and this figure is set to reach $2 billion by 2022. Yet, while trying to find a balance between app subscriptions, self-reflection, hectic schedules and time constraints, if you’ve ever thought 'does meditation really work?', then you're not alone! Several styles of meditation exist, with transcendental, mindfulness, mantra and gratitude meditation being some of the most widely practised. Any form of meditation can prove to be challenging – especially in the beginning. But science shows that if you find the right form of meditation for you, and be consistent with your practice – then meditation really does work. Let’s take a look at the proof after briefly revisiting some of meditation's benefits to the body. The benefits of meditation While different forms of meditation exist, they all have a common aim – to train your mind to concentrate, and to direct your focus solely on one subject, be that the present moment in mindfulness meditation, or a mantra in mantra meditation. Sofa, so good! Research to date suggests meditation does work shutterstock/fizkes Thus, meditation is essentially a vital exercise for the brain that builds up your ability to ward away distractions and stay engaged. The more focused you are, the lesser you react to external distractions. This also teaches you to calm your senses and react in a sensible and productive manner. There are other science-based benefits of meditation too – it helps alleviate stress, improves heart health and boosts brain power. The key parameter, nonetheless, is that one needs to be consistent with their chosen meditation practice in order to begin seeing any short-term or long-term benefits. Indeed, science shows that consistent meditation rewires the brain by increasing the density of regions related to self-awareness, concentration, memory, and compassion. At the same time, the sections of the brain linked to stress and anxiety tend to become less dense. The proof that meditation really does work There's been growing scientific interest in meditation in the past decade and the research clearly supports the idea that meditation does work. Let's take a look at some key studies. A 2012 trial study by Goyal M et al. at Johns Hopkins University on more than 3,500 participants revealed that meditation could play a moderate role in managing cortisol, the stress hormone known to create responses like disrupted sleep, impaired judgment, rise in depressive thoughts and anxiety. RELATED: Can't sleep? 14 fixes to get a good night's rest Another experiment by David M Levy et al. at the University of Washington found that mindful meditation can help reduce distractions and eliminate the tendency to multitask, thus helping individuals stay focused and feel more positive emotion regarding their task performance. “All the recent science-backed evidence shows that meditation really does work – if you’re consistent with your practice.” As for long-term benefits, meditation has been linked directly to a healthier and more preserved ageing brain. A study conducted by UCLA found that participants that practised meditation for an average of 20 years had more brain grey matter volume (responsible for processing information) than non-meditators. And a systematic literature review by Amy Gimson et al. at University of Southampton and University College London implied that meditation could be an essential aid to prevent or alleviate the symptoms of anxiety for individuals in their 40s or above, thus lowering the risk of cognitive impairment and dementia. So, how long before meditation starts to work? Several new meditators mistakenly assume that they will begin to experience the full benefits of meditation within a few days. Others think of meditation as an over-the-counter instant pain-relief medicine, or as a cure-all for all their problems. Using guided mediation apps work for many people shutterstock/Africa Studio The truth is that meditation is not the quick-fix one may be seeking, and there's no set time period for it to start ‘working’. In fact, while some beginners may start noticing certain benefits immediately, most people would need to practice meditation on a regular basis to be able to appreciate its advantages. RELATED: Meditation for beginners – our top 6 videos The key here is to not overthink it and select a suitable meditation practice which you can perform consistently. There’s no set time for how long you should meditate – it’s ideal to observe how long you can manage or feel the need to meditate, especially when you’re just starting out. It’s best to start small, and to not jump into extended meditation programs right away. Meditating for just three to five minutes has been proven to be beneficial. Finishing five-minute meditation sits initially for say, a week, will reward you with a feeling of accomplishment early on, allowing you to believe that you’re ready for longer meditation sessions. A 2012 study showed that meditating for 11 minutes regularly for eight weeks resulted in improved mood and sleep, lower levels of perceived stress and reduced depressive thoughts in patients with cognitive impairment, and their caregivers. “The truth is that meditation is not the quick-fix one may be seeking, and there's no set time period for it to start 'working'”. Indeed, so far other studies point to the idea that consistency of meditation – not necessarily the duration – is key for you to start experiencing its benefits. You may find even one meditation session to be incredible, but the real power comes from being able to keep at it every single day. A simple meditation technique that works Meditating is a simple process – it doesn’t require any magic tricks or hacks. All you need is a quiet place to sit in and concentrate. If you find it challenging to meditate amidst a chaotic day, we suggest a morning meditation upon waking is a calm and peaceful way to start your day before it becomes busy. RELATED: 5 strategies to help you develop a regular meditation practice Sit in a comfortable place – a chair or on a cushion on the floor – with your back straight. Set a timer for as many minutes you can conveniently meditate for and close your eyes. Now, try to relax your body and focus on your breath – inhaling and exhaling slowly. Do not try to curb away your thoughts. Instead, when a thought enters your mind – trivial as it may be – notice it, acknowledge the thought, and let it exit your mind. Go back to focusing on your breath. With time and practice, you’ll find it easier to keep thoughts and urges at bay, and your ability to concentrate will get stronger. Installing meditation apps on your phone may help you create a more suitable environment for meditation, and their guided meditations might make it easier for you to concentrate. Like we mentioned earlier, there’s no set rule or method for meditation, except that you should be consistent with your practice. The takeaway: does meditation really work? All the recent science-backed evidence shows that meditation really does work – if you’re consistent with your practice. If you’re still not convinced, we would encourage you to try it for yourself and experience the benefits. Start small, as we’ve suggested. Even finding the time to meditate for two to five minutes every day will enable you to train your brain. As Arianna Huffington, co-founder of Huffington Post – who has been meditating since she was 13 says: “starting with just five minutes of meditation every day will open the door to creating a powerful habit, and the many proven benefits it brings.” Main image: shutterstock/Koldunov Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.
  10. Die Weihnachtstage sind nicht immer eine fröhliche Zeit. Besonders dann, wenn man einen geliebten Menschen verloren hat und um ihn trauert. Paula Stephens kennt dieses Gefühl nur zu gut. Hier gibt sie 10 Tipps für den Umgang mit Trauer in der Weihnachtszeit. Dieser Artikel erschien im Original im englischen happiness Magazin. Ich habe meinen Vater an Heiligabend verloren, da war ich 16. Im nächsten Jahr packten meine Mutter, meine Großmutter und ich unseren Urlaubskummer in den Koffer und verbrachten die Weihnachtszeit an einem Strand in Hawaii. Es war eine gute Möglichkeit, mit den Traditionen und Erinnerungen zu brechen, denen sich keiner von uns stellen wollte. Meine lebendigste Erinnerung an diesen Hawaii-Urlaub ist, dass ich an Heiligabend beim Abendessen neben einem älteren Herrn saß und bemerkte, dass er genau denselben Pullover trug, den mein Vater oft getragen hatte. Diese Erkenntnis brachte meine Trauer an die Oberfläche. Ich verließ das Abendessen, und verbrachte Heiligabend weinend am Strand. Unnötig zu erwähnen, dass es lange her ist, dass ich ungetrübte Freude während der Weihnachtszeit gespürt habe. Aber ich glaube, dass wir in der Weihnachtszeit trotzdem fröhliche sein sollten - auch wenn das mit dem Kummer und der Sehnsucht nach der Person, die wir lieben und die wir sehr vermissen, in Einklang gebracht werden muss. VERWANDTES THEMA: Die acht Formen der Trauer kennenlernen In meinem Buch From Grief to Growth, was auf Deutsch "Von Trauer zu Wachstum" bedeutet, spreche ich über ein wesentliches Element der Heilung. Das besteht darin, Freude und Trauer im selben Moment zu bewahren. Es gibt keine herausforderndere Zeit dafür als die Feiertage. Aus diesem Grund habe ich diese zehn leicht verständlichen Tipps zusammengestellt, die dich an dunklen Tagen in dieser besinnlichen Jahreszeit unterstützen. Dabei ist es mir wichtig, nicht einfach zu sagen: "Überlebe Weihnachten". Nein, ich möchte dich ermutigen, die Einstellung zu haben, dass du immer zu mehr fähig bist als zum Überleben! Damit das gelingt, gebe ich dir einfache Tipps, für die du nicht viel benötigst, die dir jedoch zu der festlichen Zeit am besten helfen: 1. Liste die Traditionen auf, die dir am meisten Sorgen machen Ein Großteil unserer Trauer in den Weihnachtsfeiertagen hängt damit zusammen, dass sich Traditionen und Ereignisse ohne den geliebten Menschen anders anfühlen werden. Nimm dir also etwas Zeit und überlege dir, welche Traditionen sich gut anfühlen und welche zu schmerzhaft sind. Der beste Weg, um das herauszufinden, ist an einem ruhigen Ort ohne Blick auf die Uhr zur Ruhe zu kommen. Atme ein und aus und verbinde dich mit deinem Atem. Stell dir die Frage: "Welche Veranstaltungen oder Traditionen bereiten mir im Moment die meisten Sorgen?" Dein Unterbewusstsein hat die Antwort vielleicht gleich parat. Möglicherweise führt diese Frage aber auch nicht sofort zu einem Ereignis. Beobachte, wie sich dein Körper anfühlt, welche Empfindungen und welche Energie das Vorstellen der Termine und Traditionen auslöst. Natur schenkt Ruhe und Kraft: Ein Spaziergang hilft, Trauer und Schmerz fließen zu lassen Wenn du dabei nichts fühlst, kannst du im nächsten Schritt deine Gedanken zu den Weihnachtstraditionen weiterspinnen und fließen lassen. Fühle dich hinein - schmücke zum Beispiel in Gedanken den Tannenbaum, backe die Lieblingssorte des Menschen, den du vermisst. Wie fühlt sich das an? Schon bald wirst du vielleicht feststellen, dass einige Traditionen emotional aufgeladener sind als andere. 2. Überlege, welche Traditionen du beibehalten möchtest Einige Traditionen, die dir sehr am Herzen liegen, möchtest du vielleicht trotz Trauer und Verlust bewahren. Andere müssen für eine Weile (vielleicht auch für immer) zurückgestellt werden. Versuche dafür offen zu sein und auf dein Herz zu hören. Frühere gemeinsame Traditionen werden niemals mehr die gleichen sein, wie mit der geliebten Person. Aber diese Traditionen können trotzdem weiter gepflegt werden und dadurch die Liebe zur verlorenen Person würdigen. "Wir dürfen glücklich sein in Zeiten der Trauer! Auch wenn das mit Kummer und der Sehnsucht nach der lieben Person, die wir vermissen, in Einklang gebracht werden muss." Nach Zeiten der Trauer wird jedes nachfolgende Jahr ein bisschen anders sein. Was sich in diesem Jahr richtig anfühlt, wird sich in den kommenden Jahren möglicherweise anders anfühlen. Trauern ist ein Prozess und man sollte bereit sein, sich mit ihm zu entwickeln. Sei offen für das, was dir hilft, in deinem Trauerprozess voranzukommen ... und manchmal müssen wir ein paar Schritte rückwärts gehen, um voranzukommen! Rufe dir deine Liste meines ersten Tipps ins Gedächtnis. Gehen wir nun wie folgt vor: • Welche Traditionen möchtest du in diesem Jahr behalten? • Welche Traditionen sind in diesem Jahr zu schmerzhaft oder fühlen sich nicht richtig an? • Was oder wie könnte eine Tradition verändert werden? Wenn du dir bei einigen Punkten nicht sicher bist, kehre zu einem späteren Zeitpunkt wieder zu deiner Liste zurück. Führe dir Bilder vor Augen, wie diese Tradition umgesetzt wird, und achte darauf, welche Gefühlt das hervorruft. Natürlich kann nicht alles während der Weihnachtszeit kontrolliert werden, gerade wenn die Familie involviert ist. 3. Überlege dir, wie du deinem geliebten Menschen gedenken möchtest Selbst wenn du dich dazu entschließt, die Weihnachtszeit zu ignorieren und in den Ferien nach Hawaii zu fliegen (so wie wir im ersten Jahr nach dem Verlust), bleibt es wichtig, dir Zeit für Einkehr und Trauer zu nehmen. Dabei ist ein aktiver Trauerprozess sehr viel wert und kann durch neue Rituale, durch ein soziales Engagement oder eine Spende für eine Herzensangelegenheit deines geliebten Menschens geschehen. Kommt dir etwas in den Sinn, was du dieses Jahr tun möchtest, um deine Liebsten in die Weihnachtszeit einzubeziehen? 4. Tränen dürfen fließen Weinen. Tränen einfach fließen lassen. Du musst nicht den harten Kerl oder das toughe Mädchen spielen und vorgeben, dass alles gut ist. Es ist nicht alles gut! Es ist furchtbar, die Zeit der Liebe ohne den Menschen feiern zu müssen, der ein wichtiger Teil deines Lebens war. Gerade in dieser Zeit ist es völlig normal zu trauern. Tränen dürfen fließen, wenn dir zum Heulen zumute ist, lass es raus. Es wird dir gut tun. "Ein Großteil unserer Trauer in den Weihnachtsfeiertagen hängt oft damit zusammen, dass sich Traditionen und Ereignisse ohne den geliebten Menschen anders anfühlen werden. Nimm dir also Zeit und überlege dir, welche Traditionen sich gut anfühlen und welche zu schmerzhaft sind." Vielleicht fühlt es sich auch besser an, sich von Freunden, Familie und sozialen Aktivitäten zurückzuziehen oder - genau das Gegenteil - in wilden Aktivismus zu verfallen. Es gibt keinen richtigen oder falschen Weg, um mit Trauer in der Weihnachtszeit umzugehen. Wir müssen jedoch aufpassen, nicht in negative Bewältigungsstrategien zu verfallen. Manchmal ist ein Heulkrampf ein besserer Weg, um wieder Kraft zu schöpfen als das Aufrechterhalten einer Guten-Laune-Miene, die ein riesiger Kraftakt sein kann. Also, wenn du dich danach fühlst, dann lass die Tränen fließen. 5. Erzähle deinen Freunden und Verwandten, wie du dich fühlst Familie und Freunde wissen möglicherweise nicht genau, mit welchen Gefühlen du zu kämpfen hast: Trauer ist ein individueller Prozess, der sich für jeden anders anfühlt. Gerade wenn der Gegenüber selbst nicht betroffen war, fällt ein Hineinversetzen in die trauernde Person schwer. Generell wird sicherlich der Wunsch da sein, dich zu untersützen und für dich da zu sein. Aber wenn du die einzige Person bist, die weiß, was du brauchst und wie du dich fühlst - dann wird es sehr schwer, dir zu helfen. Mach es deinen Freunden und Familie also nicht schwerer, indem du von ihnen erwartest, dass sie deine Gefühle und deine Bedürfnisse erraten. Für jeden anders: Schreien, Weinen, fröhlich sein. Alles ist erlaubt im Trauerprozess Wir alle erleben Trauer auf unterschiedliche Weise. Teile deine Ängste, Sorgen und Wünsche. Sprich darüber, was dir wichtig ist oder wie du mit einem bestimmten Ereignis umgehen möchten. Natürlich heißt das nicht, dass du immer das bekommen wirst, was du brauchst. Es ist aber wichtig, dass du deiner Trauer Ausdruck verleihen konntest und für deine Bedürfnisse einstandest. 6. Selbstfürsorge: Gerade jetzt! Es gibt keine wichtigere Zeit als die Weihnachtszeit, um dich um dich selbst zu kümmern. Schlafmangel, schlechte Ernährung, erhöhter Alkoholkonsum, weniger Bewegung, erhöhter Stress - wer nicht auf sich Acht gibt, wird nach der Weihnachtszeit kein glücklicherer Mensch sein! VERWANDTES THEMA: Jeder bringt was mit: Fünf vegan/vegetarische Rezeptideen für euer Weihnachtsmenü Selbstfürsorge zur Weihnachtszeit ist deshalb extrem wichtig. Die Emotionen laufen jetzt auf Hochtouren und fordern dein Immunsystem heraus. Kümmere dich gut um deinen Körper und deinen Geist. Dazu gehört ausreichend zu trinken, auf viel und guten Schlaf zu achten, und dich statt mit zu viel Zucker mit einer vollwertigen Kost zu beschenken. Mache einen guten Stressausgleich und viel Bewegung zu einer wichtigen Priorität vor und während den Weihnachtstagen. Kümmere dich um dich selbst, indem du ein gutes Frühstück vorbereitest, viel Wasser trinkst, 30 Minuten früher ins Bett gehst, ein Tagebuch schreibst, draußen mit der Natur in Kontakt trittst und auf das zweite oder dritte Bier auf einer Party verzichtest. 7. Verwalte deine Energie Eine wichtige Ergänzung zum letzten Tipp. Es ist wichtig, auf dein körperliches Wohlbefinden zu achten. Genauso wichtig ist jedoch das seelische. Das ist besonders dann wichtig, wenn du dich gerne ablenkst und beschäftigst, um unangenehme Emotionen zu verdrängen. Erschöpfung (physische und emotionale) ist oft die Ursache für emotionale Zusammenbrüche. Und wie du sich weißt: Trauern an sich ist emotional sehr anstrengend! Wenn dann noch emotionaler Stress an Feiertagen, etwa durch unausgesprochene Konflikte dazukommen, ist dein Tank schnell leer. Denk also daran, dass es in Ordnung ist, Einladungen abzulehnen. Es ist auch in Ordnung in letzter Minute dein Ja in ein Nein zu ändern, wenn du feststellst, dass du dich nicht nach Gesellschaft fühlst. Diese Übung verhilft dir, deine Energie zu verwalten: Nenne drei Möglichkeiten, die dir Energie rauben (z. B. Reizbarkeit, Müdigkeit, Verlangen nach Zucker / Koffein) Nenne nun drei Möglichkeiten, wie du deinen Tank füllen kannst (z. B. ein Nickerchen machen, ein Bad nehmen, ein Tagebuch führen, ein Buch lesen) 8. Priorisiere berufliche / gesellschaftliche Einladungen Die Feiertage sind eine besonders stressige Jahreszeit was Feiern und Veranstaltungen betrifft. Weihnachtsfeiern auf Arbeit, in der Nachbarschaft und der Familie sind Beispiele für gefühlte Pflichttermine. Nimm dir Zeit, um eine oder zwei Veranstaltungen auszuwählen, an denen du teilnehmen möchtest. Man muss schließlich nicht auf allen Hochzeiten tanzen. Achte auf deine Auswahl und frag dich bei gesellschaftlichen Anlässen, an denen du möglicherweise mit deinen Lieben teilgenommen hast, ob du für diese Situation bereit bist. Versetz dich in die Situation, dort alleine hinzugehen. Wird jemand an der Veranstaltung teilnehmen, der dir eine Stütze sein kann? Wirst du dich danach eher gestärkt fühlen oder geschwächt? Grund zum Feiern? Wähle nur die Veranstaltungen aus, die dich stärken Hast du einen Notfallplan? Wenn du aus irgendeinem Grund zu einer unangenehmen Pflichtveranstaltung musst, oder das Gefühl hast, du solltest unbedingt teilnehmen, stell sicher, dass du einen Notfallplan hast. Zum Beispiel, indem du mit einem separaten Auto fährst oder dem Gastgeber vorher mitteilst, dass du nicht lange bleiben wirst. 9. Nimm dir Zeit - für dich selbst Bei der Planung deiner Weihnachtstage, solltest du für eine Person ganz besonderes viel Zeit einplanen: Für dich selbst. Ob du zu diesen Terminen Kraft in der Natur tanken möchtest und wandern gehst, ob du dich massieren lässt, ein Buch liest oder ein Bad nehmen möchtest, spielt keine Rolle. Plane diese Zeit rechtzeitig ein, um deine Batterien aufzuladen. Das kann auch Zeit mit engen Freunden oder der Familie sein, die dir hilft, dich verbunden und geliebt zu fühlen. Rufe diese Personen an, und sage ihnen, dass du während der Weihnachtszeit möglicherweise Unterstützung benötigst. Schreib eine Liste mit Personen, mit denen du in dunklen Momenten Kontakt aufnehmen könntest, und mit Aktivitäten, die dich aus einer Negativspirale rausholen können. Auch hierbei gilt, deine Pläne den Menschen zu erzählen, die dir nahestehen. Denn niemand kann deine Gedanken lesen und dir Wünsche erfüllen, die du nicht kommunizierst. 10. Zu geben, beschenkt auch dich Mein letzter Tipp und eine der erstaunlichsten Möglichkeiten, deine Trauer während der Weihnachtszeit zu überstehen, besteht darin, ihn für jemand anderen ein wenig besser zu machen. Gerade in den Weihnachtsagen geht es vielen Menschen schlecht - wir sind also nicht allein. Spende für eine Wohltätigkeitsorganisation im Namen des Menschen, den du vermisst. Nimm dir Zeit, anderen zu helfen. Kauf ein Geschenk für jemanden in einem Krankenhaus oder Pflegeheim. Gib der Person hinter im Café hinter dir einen Kaffee aus. Diese kleinen, freundlichen Gesten sind wunderbar und sehr wertvoll. VERWANDTES THEMA: 11 Dinge die du tun kannst, wenn du dich einsam fühlst Wie kannst du anderen helfen, sich in dieser Weihnachtszeit besser zu fühlen? Geben muss nicht finanziell sein - du kannst deine Zeit verschenken, oder Kleidung und andere Gegenstände spenden, die du nicht mehr verwendest. Aus eigener Erfahrung kann ich sagen: Nichts lindert und heilt unsere eigenen Wunden mehr, als jemand anderem zu helfen. ● Geschrieben von Paula Stephens Paula Stephens, M.A., ist Grünerin von Crazy Good Grief, einer Organisation, die nach dem Verlust eines geliebten Menschen positives Wachstum und Belastbarkeit lehrt. Ihre Arbeit ist inspiriert von dem persönlichen Verlust ihres ältesten Sohnes, der unerwartet verstorben ist. Paula ist Rednerin, Yogi und Life Coach. Sie ist die Autorin des Buchs From Grief to Growth: 5 Essential Elements to Give your Grief Purpose and Grow from Your Experience . Paula ist praktizierende Buddhistin und war kürzlich die erste buddhistische Kaplanin, die im Bezirksgefängnis arbeitete. Sie ist Mutter von vier Söhnen und lebt in Littleton, Colorado.
  11. Hi EYC, what a difficult situation you are in. Well done for reaching out, there are many people around the world that will be in a similar situation, look at things with objective eyes, and treasure the small moments of happiness however the appear. Sometimes time apart con solidify feelings for each other, or confirm them. If it Is the end, then don't stress too much. Yes it will hurt, even the very best breakups hurt, but it will get easier. Work on yourself over the Christmas season, find out what you want. Joining this community is a great start.
  12. Gratulations! Becoming aware of the monkey mind is such a huge and important lesson. Another one is that thoughts are real but they are not necessarily true. I find that the louder my thoughts claim to tell the truth the more they are based on assumtions which are based on nothing...
  13. Coping with loss, grief and loneliness during the holidays. Most people associate grief only with death, forgetting that we can grieve very many things that could include breakups, divorce, moving cities, being estranged from family members, death, friends or family in prison, etc. Many of us don't choose to be alone. Still, not everyone has a family to go to, and not everyone can afford the travel expense of visiting family members who live far away or abroad, while others have lost family or friends in other ways. The best way to overcome this feeling of loneliness during the holiday period, I found, is to allow yourself time to grieve and be sad. To feel and delve deep into those feelings that we so quickly want to avoid. Journaling is a fantastic tool to help process and release emotions if you don't feel like talking to anyone about it. A lot of us also have expectations of how the holidays should be, based on past experiences — expectations which leave us disappointed and frustrated when not fulfilled. Taking care of ourselves is essentially our own responsibility, and a great way to feel better and do better is to do things that make us feel good. Sleep more, eat healthy as often as we can, work out even for 20 minutes a day (if available to you), sit in the sun, read, meditate, go for a walk. For many people, pride, fear, timidness or shame prevents them from reaching out and asking for help. Please know that you're not the only one feeling these emotions or going through the grieving process, and it's totally ok to reach out and let people know your struggle. Open yourself to offers of help or invitations to events, even if you don't feel like going at all. It might be a blessing in disguise. Most importantly, find and do things you LOVE and that bring you joy. Most of us have time off work from the end of this week. Use that time to HAVE SOME FUN! Be it something you've always wanted to try, or something you haven't done in a looooong time. Just do it - as the ol' Nike saying goes. The holidays don't HAVE to be lonely. You do have a choice, and there's a lot you can do to heal and evolve. So, for anyone feeling lonely, lost, sad or emotional, this is for you. You're not alone. There's a bunch of people in this little community who'd be happy to lend an ear or a shoulder, I'm sure. I wish you all the best possible holiday season. For more on this topic, please check out this week's featured article in the Magazine.
  14. Many of us dream of living by the sea, and science shows coastal living could be beneficial for both our mental and physical health. Calvin Holbrook explores the therapeutic benefits of being in, on and by the water. Long before seaside spas became fashionable for those wanting a slice of rest and relaxation, respite close to the sea was – literally – just what the doctor ordered. During the mid-late 19th and early 20th centuries in the UK, people were regularly sent to convalesce by the coast, with sea-bathing hospitals being a common treatment. Indeed, in Victorian times, living by the sea was a way of treating those with consumption and chest diseases such as TB, as the fresh and salty sea air was believed to have curative properties. Fast forward to nowadays, and the reason many of us take our holidays by the seaside is because we appreciate the relaxing benefits of the ocean, sun and nature. But could making a more permanent move to the coast improve our health and mental well-being in the long-run? Let’s take a closer look at the science behind how living by the sea could benefit both your mind and body. The health benefits of living by the sea If you're thinking of moving to live by the seaside, here are four backed-by-science health benefits that may persuade you to take the plunger and make the change to coastal life. 1. Sea air helps you to sleep better If you feel sleepier or more rested after a visit to the seaside, there’s clear science to back up why. Dr Natasha Bijlani, a psychiatrist from London’s Priory’s Roehampton Hospital told Metro: “Sea air is good for sleep because it’s generally cleaner and fresher, with higher levels of oxygen, which can improve sleep.” In fact, negative ions in sea air accelerate your ability to absorb oxygen, and also help balance your serotonin levels, one of the body's happiness hormones. A seaside hike can lead to better sleep shutterstock/Paul Nash A 2015 study from the National Trust seems to corroborate the idea that breathing in sea air helps you to sleep better. It found that people sleep on average for 47 minutes longer the night after a decent seaside hike. That’s compared to only an additional 12 minutes for those who went on an inland walk of a similar length. Environmental psychologist Eleanor Ratcliffe, who carried out the National Trust research, said: “It’s clear there’s something really special about the coast that can allow people to boost their mood, relax and sleep.” 2. The coast boosts your mental health As well as improving sleep, recent scientific research shows that coastal living can also help in warding off depression and anxiety. A study from the University of Exeter looked at the census data of 48 million adults in England and how their rated their own health, in relation to where they lived. The results showed that people living close to the coast experience lower mental distress, but when the same people moved inland, the effects were reversed. Dr Lewis Elliott from the University of Exeter confirmed: “We discovered that the closer people live to the coast in England, the better they rate their health.” More recently, in October 2019, another study from the same team published in the journal Health & Place backed up their previous findings. The researchers surveyed almost 26,000 people to analyze the mental health well-being effects of being close to the coast. The results showed that those who live less than 1km from the sea are 22 per cent less likely to have mental health symptoms compared to those living over 50km away. This corroborated an earlier study from 2013 which concluded that you’re more likely to have better mental health if you live within 5km of the British coastline. “As well as improving sleep, recent scientific research shows that coastal living can also help in warding off depression and anxiety.” In fact, you don’t even have to get your feet wet to feel the mental and health benefits of living by the sea. Simply looking out at the vast ocean in front of you can help to put your worries into perspective. Your fears may seem trivial when you look at the skyline ahead: this is down to the power of awe. And a 2015 study showed that even just having a view of the sea can promote improvements in mood and a reduction in heart rate. Additionally, the sound of the waves can be very calming. 3. Salt water helps your body heal Physical health improvements are another potential benefit of living by the sea. Sea water is rich in minerals such as magnesium, chloride, sodium, potassium, iodine and sulphur, many of which have curative and anti-inflammatory effects on the skin. Indeed, a 1999 study from the University of Freiburg in Germany found that a combination of sea water and UVB radiation can improve troubling skin problems such as dermatitis and psoriasis. Coastal living means you can enjoy water sports rawpixel.com/shutterstock Talking to Woman & Home magazine, Kevin Benitez Garcia of Gran Canaria Wellness explained: “Soaking in seawater is nature’s skin treatment – it’s great for sensitive or eczema-prone skin.” With psoriasis, cell turnover is high, so replenishing it with minerals that the body has used up could explain why bathing in salty sea water helps so many people. • JOIN US! Find friends living the simple life on happiness.com • Additionally, the sea air contains a mist of saline water, which appears to have a soothing effect on the respiratory system’s mucosal lining. So, people living with health conditions such as sinusitis could benefit from living by the sea. It seems those Victorians were really onto something! 4. A more active, and therefore healthier, lifestyle A 2014 study from the UK found that coastal proximity increased your chances of being fitter and healthier than those who lived elsewhere – partly due to the fact that those living closer to the sea have higher levels of physical activity. Indeed, the study found that you’re more likely to exercise regularly if you live within 1km of the English coastline. “Physical health improvements are another potential benefit of living by the sea. Sea water is rich in minerals, many of which have curative and anti-inflammatory effects on the skin.” Of course, the sea offers up the opportunity for swimming during warmer months, but the water also provides the chance to get involved in other sports all year round such as sailing, surfing or paddleboaring. Likewise, the coastline provides the perfect opportunity to keep fit through jogging, running and hiking. Dr Elliott from the University of Exeter told Coast magazine: “We know that when people go to the beach, there are opportunities to be physically active and people are more likely to stay there for longer. Physical activity has a strong effect on mental health, and when combined with being in a natural, coastal environment, these effects become even stronger.” Coastal living: the takeaway It's clear from research that there are various benefits of living by the sea for both our mental and physical health. Studies suggest that it can help with depression and that a coastal environment offers up more chance for physical fitness. So, while we all enjoy our holidays by the sea, could a more permanent move to the coast benefit us? Science seems to suggest it does. Dr Elliott said: “the cumulative effect of actually living by the sea could have a much greater effect in the longer term.” ● Main image: shutterstock/I-ing happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Family activities | Benefits of gardening | Simple living Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness.com magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also loves hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!
  15. It was brought on by stress about 10 years ago. My eating is not very regular. I pick very little throughout the day but that’s it. If I’m out somewhere for the day I will have a meal. I avoid dairy and bread. I work full time, as a chef. So I’m on my feet all day. I weigh about 9st xXx
  16. Yes, thank you @Sany those are more things to consider. There's so much potential for understanding ourselves better. Some feelings in the tummy might be connected to being hungry or full or having eaten something that doesn't agree with us too well, it might as well be an emotion or thought manifesting in the body like excitement or stress. So many messages to decipher ... so much potential :-)
  17. Hello! I don't know you or your life at all, but based on what you've written I think it might be best to ask yourself if you're truly being compassionate towards others or if you're just giving your energy away to them without regard for how much you should keep for yourself. In order to develop the ability to feel unconditional love for your fellow humans it's imperative that you learn to love yourself unconditionally first—perhaps even MORE than you love others, because you need a solid foundation of love to start from before you try to build on top of it. Take care of yourself. Forgive yourself. Treat your body and mind with the same kind of love that you'd like to give to others. As far as how to transform fear into love, I'm afraid (no pun intended) that I don't know. I'm still looking for the answer to that as well, but if I find any interesting resources I'll be sure to post them here. <3
  18. This year the mainstream media has been full of stories about climate emergency, political scandal, crime increases, and other less-than-positive events. But, if you scratched below the surface, there were plenty of great feel-good news items to feel excited about. Ed Gould shares his top 19 positive news stories of 2019 to inspire and uplift you! 1. Over half of millennials eat in an environmentally-friendly way According to the New York Post, a large survey conducted in the United States found that millennials have made significant changes to their diets in order to benefit the environment. The August poll, commissioned by Sweet Earth Foods, found that nearly 60 per cent of millennials had a low carbon footprint diet, including veganism and eating less red meat. Of these, most said they were motivated by climate change. RELATED: Eat these 8 good mood foods 2. Eating greens really is good for you Continuing the food theme, research published in May suggested that certain greens – in particular, broccoli and kale – contain compounds that are great at suppressing the growth of tumours and other cancerous cells. A team from Harvard Medical School in Boston spent time researching prostate tumours and their reaction to compound indole-3-carbinol (which appears naturally in green vegetables). Known as a suppressor protein, the compound could be used as a way to treat tumours and even prevent them from occurring in the first place, according to Medical News Today. Mother always said “eat your greens”... and she was right! shutterstock/RossHelen 3. Breakthrough technology allows blind people to perceive light In September, a novel technology was demonstrated in the US which allows blind people to gain more visual perception. A research team from UCLA Health used surgical implants in four blind patients to allow them to perceive light and dark. A wireless device 'looks' at objects which then sends signals to the implant. The brain is then able to perceive the implant's stimulation as patches of light and dark. In some cases, blind people have been able to sense individual objects and even movement. 4. Kayak across Europe for free In May, a scheme was announced whereby tourists can kayak the great waterways of Europe without charge. Rather than paying to rent a kayak for a day or two during their stay, people will now be able to obtain them without cost. The catch? You have to collect rubbish from the canals in urban centres. The initiative is up and running in Denmark thanks to an organisation called GreenKayak but it's hoped the scheme will spread to other big cities with man-made waterways. Seems like a win-win situation! Paddle power: clean up by kayaking 5. Free sanitary products for schools Back in March, a pilot scheme offering free sanitary products for children and teens in England's secondary schools was announced, hoping to provide support for the 10 per cent of young women who cannot afford to buy menstrual products each month. This follows Scotland's lead. In 2017 the country became the first globally to provide free sanitary products to all females in schools, colleges and universities. UK activists hope the new scheme will be equally expanded. 6. The world is getting greener If you think the planet is becoming more and more deforested you’re not alone. However, NASA brought a little happiness to this gloomy view. Its satellite imagery has shown that there are actually more trees, not fewer, than a few years ago. As reported by CNN in February, the US space agency has noted that both India and China have been planting trees and agricultural crops that have created more vegetation overall. Since 2000, it’s estimated that leaf-covered spaces of the planet have risen by some 2,000,000 square miles. Green is go: there are more trees than ever before shutterstock/DugDax 7. A healthy gut can lower anxiety The benefits of healthy gut bacteria have long been known to medical science as helping with digestion and all-round physical health. According to several reports back in May, Chinese researchers found that a healthy gut may also lead to better mental well-being. A team at the Shanghai Jiao Tong University School of Medicine discovered that consumption of foodstuffs containing probiotics – which help to promote a healthy gut – could lead to lower anxiety levels. In fact, the researchers said their work demonstrated that it was a good idea to treat anxiety symptoms by regulating a patient's intestinal microbiota. RELATED: Panic attacks – 12 tips on what to do when anxiety hits hard 8. Hugging is great for mental health You may have known it all along but hugging really is good for you – and a group of researchers believe they've proved it. In a study of over 400 individuals, people who hugged were shown to feel less negative responses throughout their entire day after they'd received one. People who had been hugged showed lower blood pressure as well as augmented levels of happiness hormone oxytocin. Interestingly, single people and those in partnerships were found to demonstrate the same sorts of responses within this study from November. A hug a day keeps the demons away! shutterstock/sebra 9. Playing games helps thinking, study finds Scientific research conducted over decades found that playing board games which involve memory and problem solving can help you to retain thinking skills in old age. Psychologists from the University of Edinburgh studied over 1,000 people in their 70s to come up with the findings which focussed on non-digital games such as bingo, chess, cards and crosswords. In November, University of Edinburgh's Dr Drew Altschul said: “These latest findings add to evidence that being more engaged in activities during life might be associated with better thinking skills in later life.” RELATED: Cognitive impairment - 5 key ways to reduce the risk as you age 10. Saunas may help reduce heart disease risk According to The Independent, a study found that regularly taking saunas can help to prevent heart disease. The work, published in the BMC Medicine journal in September, claimed that cardiovascular disease is less common among the over-50s age group if they enjoy saunas on a frequent basis. The research was conducted in Finland over the course of a 15-year period. It's not yet known why saunas seem to be so beneficial for heart health in older age. However, one researcher said that it could be tied up with the fact that taking saunas is a relaxing activity that may help to lower blood pressure. Saunas could reduce heart disease shutterstock/Med Photo Studio 11. Wind energy study states Europe could power the world In reports made in The Independent in August, an academic study calculated that Europe has sufficient space and the right meteorological conditions to supply enough electrical energy to meet the whole world's needs. By 2050, 497 exajoules of power could be derived from wind in the continent, which is more than enough to go around. The study said that a mixture of both onshore and offshore would be needed to meet this, especially as global demand rises. Turkey and Norway were singled out as countries which were particularly suited to wind energy. 12. Liver transplants could be revolutionised According to a report on the BBC, scientists have developed a new procedure for conducting liver transplants. This, it's hoped, will help to speed up the rate at which they can be transplanted, helping to slash waiting times. Donated livers are normally chilled, which mean they can degrade. The new idea is to use perfusion machines in order to keep livers in good condition for longer, offering greater flexibility for finding suitable recipients. 13. The tiger population is on the up In July, The Daily Telegraph reported that the numbers of tigers roaming around India may have risen by as much as 30 per cent since 2014. Back then, new measures were brought in to protect these big cats. This means that well over two-thirds of the wild tiger population now lives within India's borders. The country is now on track to meet its internationally agreed commitments to improve global tiger numbers by creating safer habitats for these impressive creatures. The cat's back: there are more tigers in Nepal than previously thought 14. Paper recycling receives a boost In September, The Week reported that a clever new technique for 'unprinting' paper had been developed at Rutgers University in the USA. Scientists there have created a way of erasing black, blue, red and green ink from printed pages, meaning already-printed documents can be erased and then reused (up to five times). As its done locally, this eliminates the costs and energy consumption associated with transporting office paper to reprocessing centres. 15. Survey revealed what really makes us happy A study reported in the Metro revealed the keys to happiness in June. The survey, commissioned by private healthcare group Bupa, showed that having a loving relationship and being close to family was most important when it came to what make us feel happy. Other things that made the Top Ten included getting at least eight hours of sleep, regular exercise, owning a pet, connecting with nature, and – crucially, perhaps – laughing frequently. The study asked 2,000 UK-based adults aged 55 what they though the secrets to a long and happy life were. Interestingly, the average age respondents said they finally realised what the secrets to happiness were was 49! A giggle is good: laughter is a key happiness provider 16. New technique could make chemotherapy more bearable In January, a team of American medical researchers revealed how chemotherapy can be made more effective by concentrating it in the parts of the body. The idea is to insert tiny sponge-like materials into the patient's bloodstream so that the chemicals used in the therapies cannot pass through. The technique has been referred to as a 'chemofilter' and is something that could potentially improve the lives of many cancer sufferers. The study was conducted by Professor Nitash Balsara from the University of California at Berkley. 17. Marijuana may be more potent than aspirin According to Sky News in July, a scientific study into anti-inflammatories found that certain molecules in cannabis plants could be up to 30 times stronger than common drugs like aspirin. The work, undertaken in Canada, builds an even stronger case for the use of certain therapies derived from cannabis plants. According to the lead researcher, Professor Tariq Akhtar, the molecule in question has no psychoactive effect, potentially making it ideal for a new medicine. 18. Poaching of African elephants in decline Thanks to successful anti-poaching initiatives in much of central and southern Africa, the number of elephants there falling prey to ivory hunters has fallen over the last six years by up to 50 per cent. In fact, CBS reported that one reserve in Mozambique had seen no elephants lost to poachers over the course of an entire 12-month period – remarkable given the number of animals that used to be hunted. Specialists claim the real driver in this success has been lowering global demand for ivory which, in turn, disincentives the practices of poachers in the first place. Tusk luck: poaching of African elephants is in decline 19. Breakthrough found in the fight against Parkinson's disease Scientists at the University of Ontario in Canada found a way to restore movement to patients with advanced stages of this debilitating condition. According to reports from the BBC in April, the team's brain implantation method has produced results which exceeded all expectations. They hope to turn their approach into a full treatment which will restore both mobility and confidence to sufferers. ● Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.
  19. Regarding the MBSR course, I think it's pretty straight forward: Doing the formal and informal practices as scheduled in the course. Within that, you can choose between a longer and a shorter version. But stick to the minimum time and stick with the type of meditation. Altering the position as needed is ok. Once you've finished the course, and you want to maintain your meditation routine, it becomes harder. For example, I found myself cheating using a Yoga Nidra session on insight timer to fall asleep. It's counted there as a meditation but not only did I know that while it does have it's benefits it's not the kind of mental exercise I was supposed to be doing, rather something I could do as well. After a while, I also became aware of how the positive changes mindfulness meditation were getting weaker. Going to a Vipassana retreat was my way to kickstart my meditation practice again thoroughly. Somehow I feel it's like going to the gym. If it's not somehow hard if there's no "sweat" if there's no inner resistance to overcome there's little to be gained, and if we are honest to ourselves we know when we are making the easy choice. I easily fall asleep lying down as well unless I am incredibly well-rested. So I sometimes do the bodyscan in my regular meditation position, which helps a lot staying awake as well as staying warm as I do use a warm blanket.
  20. Hi All! I'd like to start by thanking evryone at happiness.com for this wonderful opportunity. I have practicing mindfulness for about 10 years. Formal training was always an interest but the dollar factor just did not match. I am ecstatic being given the chance to join happiness.com, the Academy and the forum. I have learned so much aready! Never before when I practiced my bodyscan did my baby toes and baby fingers both feel stronger and connected at the same time. Already I am more productive and less stressed. The different styles of the presenters makes the classes exciting. I'm experiencing a new clarity just being a part of the mindfulness activities required and shared with me through the academy. Thank you again and I look forward to week 2. Peace and blessings, Miriam
  21. A new book explains six keys to learning that can help anyone overcome barriers to success in school or in life. By Jill Suttie on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. Recently, a close friend’s niece was having trouble graduating from college. She needed to pass a math class to graduate but wouldn’t take it because she feared flunking it. A belief that she just wasn’t “good at math” was keeping her stuck in graduation limbo, unable to move on with her life. I know my friend’s niece isn’t the first person to be cowed by a math course or some other seemingly insurmountable barrier to success. Maybe someone gave you the message that you weren’t talented enough to succeed in a particular field; or you just didn’t have the confidence to persevere when you struggled. Now, a new book, Limitless Mind: Learn, Lead, and Live Without Barriers by Jo Boaler, explains what’s wrong with this attitude. Boaler, a Stanford University math professor, argues that people can learn just about anything once they understand how their brains work and how to support their own learning. Her book is a call to discard old notions of “giftedness” and to fully embrace the new science of the mind, thereby transforming schools, organizations, and workplaces into environments that support rather than limit success. The problem with talent “Millions of children, every year, start school excited about what they will learn, but quickly become disillusioned when they get the idea they are not as ‘smart’ as others,” writes Boaler. That’s because parents and teachers inadvertently give out the message that talent is inborn — you either have it or you don’t. As a math professor, Boaler has seen this firsthand. Many young adults enter her class anxious about math, and their fear about learning impacts their ability to learn. Retrain your brain and start learning again “The myth that our brains are fixed and that we simply don’t have the aptitude for certain topics is not only scientifically inaccurate; it's omnipresent and negatively impacts not only education, but many other events in our everyday lives,“ she writes. Even though the science of neuroplasticity – how our brains change in response to learning – suggests learning can take place at any age, this news has not made it into classrooms, she argues. Some of our misguided visions of talent have led to racist and sexist attitudes, she writes. For example, many girls get the message early on that math is for boys and that boys are better at it, interfering with their ability to succeed and leading to gender disparities in fields of study related to math. Similarly, people of color may also have to overcome stereotypes about fixed intelligence in order to thrive. How our minds help us learn Luckily, Boaler doesn’t stop at pointing out the problem but also provides tips to help anyone, whether they’re math-phobic or worried about other impediments to learning, to create a new mindset. 1. Understand that your brain is always changing “Every time we learn, our brain forms, strengthens, or connects neural pathways,” writes Boaler. This means that no one is stuck at birth with a limit on what they can learn. Instead, it’s the belief in giftedness and how that impacts the way teachers teach that actually hampers people’s learning. For example, when schools practice tracking – dividing students into different reading groups or math groups based on ability – it can produce worse results for students than keeping mixed-ability students together. As research from Teresa Iuculano and her colleagues has shown, the brains of people who have been labeled early on as “learning disabled” can be completely rewired after a short program involving one-on-one tutoring. 2. Learn to embrace struggle, mistakes and failure Students and teachers commonly believe that getting the right answer on a test shows that students are learning. But, as Boaler points out, it’s actually when students practice difficult things – problems just beyond their ability – that the brain works harder and imprints new knowledge. This also makes the knowledge more accessible later on. “The science of neuroplasticity – how our brains change in response to learning – suggests learning can take place at any age.” Practising what they can already do well actually hinders students’ learning; making mistakes helps them focus in on different ways of considering a problem, which helps strengthen learning. When teachers encourage students to struggle and students give themselves permission to make mistakes, it can be incredibly freeing for both. 3. Change your beliefs about your mind, and your brain will follow When you change your mind about yourself, it turns out that this will also change your body and brain. For example, researchers found that adults who had negative ideas about aging in their younger years – between 18 and 49 years old – were more likely to experience a cardiovascular event during the next 38 years, regardless of their initial age, heart health, race, or many other factors. The same is true for how you think about your learning. For example, if young kids learn that their success in school is tied to being smart rather than tied to effort, they may be less motivated to learn later on. 4. Try multiple approaches to learning Though it’s important to have a growth mindset for learning – a belief that knowledge isn’t fixed, but can be developed through effort and perseverance – it’s also important to try new learning strategies. Multi-dimensional approaches to teaching and learning work best because they engage many areas of the brain at once, and communication between different brain areas aids in learning. Even math proficiency can be enhanced by seemingly unrelated knowledge or skills – like verbal skills or finger perception (the ability to identify our fingers without looking at them). “The new discoveries about the working of the brain are revealing the need for a different approach to teaching that is more physical, multidimensional, and creative than the approaches that have been used in the past in most institutions of learning,” writes Boaler. “Practising what they can already do well actually hinders students’ learning; making mistakes helps them focus in on different ways of considering a problem, which helps strengthen learning.” In her own research, she found that this multi-pronged approach to teaching math – challenging students to consider problems using different strategies, like storytelling or visual art – was much more effective for learning, especially for girls, English language learners, and economically disadvantaged students. This suggests that approaching something you want to learn from multiple angles is better than just trying to get it “right.” 5. Aim for flexible thinking rather than speed Too often, teachers and learners think that being fast at something means you’re good at it. But, as research suggests, that’s not often the case. Trying to do something under pressure – such as a timed test – can cause stress, which compromises the working memory needed to recall important information. That’s why Boaler argues that giving students long problem sets to solve at home, or trying to measure math performance under timed conditions, is not useful. It could also unnecessarily discourage potential future math scholars who give up early because they think speed equals competency. Age shouldn't be a factor when it comes to new learning shutterstock/Monkey Business Images While some students thrive in timed tests and are adept at cramming for exams, it’s not likely their learning will stick, says Boaler. Instead, engaging with material in flexible ways over time is key to learning. 6. Try collaboration Schools that teach a growth mindset won’t necessarily help students learn better if there is not peer support for the idea – meaning, if students still buy into the myth of the gifted student. It’s crucial for schools to reinforce the idea that learning together is better than learning alone. As one study showed, working together instead of alone can make the difference between passing a difficult math class and giving up and failing the class. “An important change takes place when students work together and discover that everybody finds some or all of the work difficult,” writes Boaler. It reinforces the idea “that learning is a process and that obstacles are common.” Focusing on collaboration in the classroom — rather than trying to test students individually — also more closely resembles the work world, argues Boaler, and can help reduce the gender bias so often found in science-related subjects. In the case of my friend’s niece, she ended up drawing on the support of her aunt and connecting with a tutor who encouraged a growth mindset, taught her new strategies for problem solving, and helped reduce her math anxiety. Eventually, she took the math class and passed with flying colors. Her story is an important reminder that the obstacles to learning are often more a function of our approach than of our ability. As Boaler’s work — and that of countless others — suggests, our minds may be less limited than we think. ● Main image: shutterstock/Carlos David This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is grateful to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu
  22. Greetings Happiness Friends: Starting 12/14/2019 please offer your 12 days of Mindful Happiness. You can do 1 each day or compile a list for 12 days, either way you will feel good! This is a way to reduce our holiday stress and do some self care/love. So join in....will expire 12/25/19! Be mindful, b happy,
  23. Really interesting article, I didn't realize there were some many different types of grief. I think we often forget that the grieving process isn't only relate to death. I've also heard people comment on how others 'didn't cry' or 'posts way too much about it on social media', and I think it's so important to keep in mind that everyone grieves differently and has their own process to go through. What might seem exaggerated or 'cold' to you, is exactly what someone else needs based on the type of grief they're experiencing.
  24. Tired of negative news? These feel-good stories from November highlight the positive things happening in the world. Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up from the month. November was full of feel-good news. If you thought that there was too little happiness and not enough to cheer you in the mainstream news outlets, then read on to discover some of the positive stories you may have missed. 1. Police use mindfulness techniques to help officers According to the i newspaper, five constabularies in the UK have been trialling mindfulness training in order to prevent burnout and to boost officer retention. The training is there to save money in recruitment and training costs in the long run but the other benefits of mindfulness may mean that it's soon extended to other police forces. 2. Steel made without fossil fuels in world first Although steel is needed for many renewable energy products, it's carbon-intensive to make, usually requiring coal to be burned to generate enough energy. In a global first, an Austrian steel-making firm has powered its furnaces entirely from hydrogen – a clean source of fuel. According to Manufacturers' Monthly, a consortium of partners developed the project along with €18 million of EU public funding. 3. Whale species faring better than expected Not that long ago, the humpback whale was close to extinction. The species tends to inhabit the southern Atlantic but is found elsewhere these days, too, as its numbers have grown. Scientists now estimate that the largest breeding group currently numbers around 25,000 individuals, a surprisingly large figure given how low it had previously dropped. Conservationists say that this attests to the success of bans on commercial whaling. It's thought that current methods of estimating whale numbers are more accurate than ever before because it's done with technologies deployed in the air as well as at sea. It's (hump) back: this whale species is on the rise shutterstock/Chris Holman 4. Bacteria harnessed to help climate change In feel-good news for anyone who thinks that carbon capture technology will help to save the planet from the worst outcomes of climate change, scientists have altered the DNA of a bacteria so that it survives solely by consuming carbon dioxide. According to the Independent, Israeli researchers have altered E-coli so that it can consume CO2 in a similar manner to plants! RELATED: Feel-good news from October 5. Canada pushes for green aviation fuel According to Renewables Now, a non-profit group called the Green Aviation Research and Development Network – funded by the Canadian government and the aerospace industry – has launched a new project designed to augment the supply of sustainable aviation fuel in the country. The so-called BioPortYVR project will set up regional supply chains so that biofuel can be made in the country without relying on imports. 6. Playing games helps thinking, study finds Scientific research conducted over decades has found that playing board games which involve memory and problem solving can help you to retain thinking skills in old age. Psychologists from the University of Edinburgh studied over 1,000 people in their 70s to come up with the findings which focussed on non-digital games such as bingo, chess, cards and crosswords. University of Edinburgh's Dr Drew Altschul said: “These latest findings add to evidence that being more engaged in activities during life might be associated with better thinking skills in later life.” RELATED: Cognitive impairment – 5 ways to reduce the risk as you age Game on: playing chess could help retain thinking skills shutterstock/Freeograph 7. Simple test for breast cancer could be a game-changer Although screening for breast cancer is common, medical researchers have long sought a simpler and more reliable solution. According to The Guardian, a simple blood test could replace the current method and provide an accurate idea of whether the disease is present in women five years ahead of it becoming noticeable. A team from Nottingham University’s School of Medicine looked into the presence of antigens in the blood to make predictions about clinical signs of breast cancer later becoming apparent. Their findings were presented at a national cancer conference in Glasgow in November, and the team successfully spotted the condition in a number of women in their sample group and were also able to show when it was not present accurately, too. 8. New hope for endangered gharials A type of crocodile has been discovered in Nepal, an area where it was thought to have been wiped out, according to reports from the BBC. The gharial is a species that resembles a crocodile with a large snout, and it has few places in the world where its habitat is still suitable. The discovery of around 100 hatchlings of this endangered species has therefore brought a great deal of happiness to conservationists in Asia looking to protect them. A member of the Zoological Society of London found the baby reptiles basking in the sun in Nepal's Bardia National Park. RELATED: Feel-good news from September 9. Audio used to breathe new life into coral reefs Researchers have long been worried about the prospects for coral reefs under the challenge of global warming. However, so-called dead patches of corals are being brought back to life by playing sounds via underwater speakers. Australian scientists are using the audio associated with healthy coral reefs to lure fish back to them. This can then kickstart the ecosystem and lead to a revival, according to reports in the Daily Mail. Sounds great: music is helping a coral comeback 10. UK museum returns items to indigenous Australian communities So-called restorative justice is a big talking point in the museum sector these days but it rarely happens. However, in a significant move that could lead to more museums following suit, the Manchester Museum has decided to return dozens of artefacts to the descendants of their original owners. The museum held a ceremony in which around 40 sacred and ceremonial items were handed back to representatives of several indigenous Australian communities. As reported by Museum Next, the repatriation of these items coincided with the 250th anniversary of Captain James Cook's first European voyage to Australia. ● Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.
  25. Hi everyone, My name is Shannon. I live in the Syracuse, NY area and currently have a SNOW DAY from work so I thought this would be a great day to start the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course here. I am a pretty happy woman most of the time, but definitely suffer in the winter! Nice to e-meet all of you!
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