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Minimalism is a great way to unclutter your life, gain more space, and also deal with less stress. Happiness.com's Tine Steiss shares her simple rules of minimalism, and – like the practice itself – they are pretty minimal too! Minimalism is a great way of making space for the new year; for change, personal growth and development. Here's how to unclutter your life and make room to breathe and to be yourself. Think about your belongings like this: Everything needs to have a purpose. It can either be beautiful or useful or both. It is beautiful if you look at it several times a week and it makes you smile. It is useful if you use it several times a week. Put the other things in a box. Put the box aside for some weeks. You can take things you need out again. After some weeks, label the box and put it away.Take it out after several months. If you haven’t opened the box meanwhile, donate it without opening it again. You will create space in your life. You will establish character, time and priorities and most of all, by sticking with the useful and beautiful, you will become more yourself with less. Let go of the old – make space for something new! ● Main photo: colourbox.com Written by Tine Steiss Tine is part of the happiness.com team. She's an artist, meditator, media engineer and MBSR teacher. If she's not traveling she's working on turning her rooftop terrace into a garden paradise. Find out more about her on: Instagram.

Which are the best happiness apps out there on the market? Rae Bathgate selects the top six that help boost your well-being. Apple coined the phrase “there's an app for that,” and it's true many of us tend rely on our smartphones and apps for so much these days. There are apps for music, dating, exercising, health, transport, learning new languages, and even tuning a guitar. But what are some of the best happiness apps out there? There are so many happiness apps these days, how do you know which are the best? Well, below I review six of the top science-based happiness apps to reveal their strengths and weaknesses. The best happiness apps are, first and foremost, free (at least for a trial run). Many also use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as a basis for their concept. While apps are indeed very different than an hour of talk therapy with a counsellor, the way that apps can work within the realm of CBT is to try to modify your thinking patterns and by helping you to change patterns of behaviour through repetition. This can be of help if you are trying to stop ruminating. Who uses happiness apps? There are various reasons why self-care apps can be a positive addition to your life and push you a little bit closer towards your quest to happiness. They're more common than you think, and people already tend to use the iPhone, an extension of themselves, as a way to learn more about and to be more in tune with their mind. Get appy: which happiness apps boost your well-being? Indeed, according to Nature, about 29 per cent of “disease-specific mobile health apps” are focused on mental health. For example, two common mental health related apps for more dire circumstances are the PTSD Coach app or FOCUS for users with schizophrenia. While these two don't illustrate why the average happy hunter uses happiness apps, they have some of the same benefits. So, can an app really make you happier? First of all, the best happiness apps are helpful for those with a busy schedule, as they are always available. After all, you never know when you’ll need help. The app also interacts positively with the user. Just like getting constant notifications or updates on social media might be stressful, receiving reminders to do a task or maybe an affirmation just when you need it could help you feel a lot better. “Apps within the realm of CBT try to modify your thinking patterns and by helping you to change your patterns of behaviour through repetition.” While not all the apps are free, many beat the cost of going to see a mental health professional, and, what’s more, the stigma of going to see a specialist unfortunately still exists. Some of the advantages of using happiness apps are: You can practice them everywhere; If you use them as much as you use your smartphone, you'll use them regularly; It can remind you to be happier if you forget; Many of them are cost effective, if not free. Of course, it's important to remember that happiness and health apps are an excellent way to keep working towards better mental health at the forefront of your everyday life and can consolidate healthy habits, but even the best happiness apps by no means replace visiting a mental health professional, or even just simple human contact. Think of these happy apps like vitamins – supplements are great, but they can never replace the real thing. So, without further ado – and in no particular order – here's our pick of the best happiness apps on the market right now. 1. Happify Android: Free iPhone: Free Happify comes in both website and app form, and claims to: increase happiness through fun activities and games; help you learn life-changing habits based on science; reduce stress and build skills for a happy healthy life. The Happify app has various “scientifically validated tracks” that are suggested to you after you take a short questionnaire detailing your life and health. Each track has a theme and is divided into parts (usually four). These are then divided into activities, ranging from guided meditations to reflective writing assignments to fun games. How many tracks depends on if you pay the monthly subscription or downloaded the free version. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Happify app: an overview of this happiness application For the more socially minded, there's a community page with inspirational comments from other users. You can add your own too to brighten someone else’s day since it’s proven to make you feel happier. There are 58 'core activities' to begin with, with different variations, adding up to an amazing 1,200 various activities in total. These activities were designed with the help of a psychology professor, and they range from asking you to write down what you’re looking forward to in general, or looking forward to doing for a friend. Each of the 58 activities has a “Why it works” icon next to it, to explain you more about the science behind the fun games. Every two weeks, your phone gives you a happiness check-in. “While not all the best happiness apps are free, many beat the cost of going to see a mental health professional.” The reception for Happify app has been overall positive. In fact, 86 per cent of the app's users reported feeling better about their lives after just two months of using it during testing, with many reporting feeling more motivated and productive, indicating that it helps people to solidify positive, helpful habits that are the framework for a more confident and happy life. Happify app allows you develop life-changing habits Users can also access Happify Daily – free content based around happiness – as well as the Happify community and forum. And, if you really feel the app is working for you, you can unlock the full range of actives and reports by subscribing to Happify Plus. So, as a recap, here's why you should download the Happify app: It helps you build resilience for stressful experiences; It helps you build happy, healthy habits tied to positive thinking; Since even reflecting on happy memories releases happiness hormones, you can boost your well-being by making a digital scrapbook to remind you of sunnier pastures when you feel blue. 2. Happy Habits Android: free iPhone: unavailable The Happy Habits app describes itself as relying heavily on the principles of CBT, and that it works by helping to “create the conditions for happiness in [the user's] life. It starts out by giving its users a 119-item test to assess their happiness based on 14 factors; then, they administer results and suggestions, through games and soothing audios to talk you through your quest for happiness. Another Happy Habits feature are Emotion Training Audios. These are to help with managing emotions so that you can be more aware and cultivate a more positive attitude, best used when you feel overwhelmed by anger, sadness, or stress. Happy Habits: a sneak peak inside this well-being app Then, if you're feeling particularly anxious, you can also use the Relaxation Audios to unwind and to learn deep relaxation. Or, for those of you who like to find out more about the concept and the history of the pursuit of happiness, there's their Choosing Happiness Audio to delve into the idea of and search for well-being. For those of you who like to cross things off of a list, the Happy Habits app also features a Customisable Happy 'to do' list. “The best happiness are free (at least for a trial run). Many also use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as a basis for their concept.” Like most of the best happy apps, it's gamified, which means using it is fun, rather than a chore, with a points feature that helps you to keep track of progress. Users who like to write and keep track of their thoughts will be happy to know that the app also has a happiness journal for writing personal affirmations and recording positive events to look back on later. The Happy Habits design is a little retro, but it uses positive colours like yellow and orange, and it’s customizable. So, a recap of why you should use Happy Habits: It's based on CBT, a method that's proven to help depression and anxiety; It has a large variety of calming audios for you to listen to in the car, on the bus, or at home; It gives you a gratitude scrapbook to look back on when you need to cheer up. 3. SuperBetter Android: free iPhone: free Building resilience – the ability to stay strong, motivated and optimistic – even in the face of change and difficult challenges is tough. But the makers behind the SuperBetter app believe that using their tool will unlock your heroic potential so you can overcome tough situations and achieve goals that matter most. RELATED: Happiness podcasts – 8 that we rate At the heart of SuperBetter is the Live Gamefully® method, a framework that brings the psychological strengths and mindset of gameplay to real life. The method promotes new levels of personal growth as a result of stress and change. That's why it's called SuperBetter. A key part of building happiness is developing resilience. While bouncing back from life’s challenges is important, it’s not easy. SuperBetter makes the process easier by taking you through a series of activities that help you build resilience while reducing anxiety and depression, leading to a happier life. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } XX Feeling super: SuperBetter founder Jane McGonigal The SuperBetter app has gamified the process of building happiness by creating short and simple activities that you complete as you head off on quests to build happiness-boosting skills. Completing the activities provide you with quick wins to jump-start your happiness journey. With SuperBetter you become the hero of the app, as you gain points and power by completing and tracking daily activities. Simple tasks such as taking a walk or drinking a glass of water count as a step toward your ultimate goal. You can also do it with a secret identity and superhero story of your choosing. The SuperBetter lets you collect power-ups on your quests, fight off bad guys, and get help from allies. One of our best happiness apps: SuperBetter Another unique thing about the SuperBetter app is that it's heavily science-backed. A study by the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia found that when people played SuperBetter for 30 days, their mood improved, symptoms of anxiety and depression decreased, and self-belief to achieve goals increased. So, a recap of why you should use the SuperBetter app: Gamified and fun; Helps you to build resilience, adopt new habits, improve skills and strengthen relationships; Research has shown it has positive results. 4. HAPPY Android: free iPhone: free OK, call us biased, but we really think our own app, HAPPY, is also one of the best happiness apps on the market too! One of the most significant factors to impact our happiness is a sense of community, and that's what HAPPY, our own well-being app, focuses on. Many of the apps on this list aim to improve our mental health, foster resilience and actively build our capacity to live happier lives by offering concrete personal exercises such as gratitude journals, mindfulness exercises, creating healthy habits, etc. These are all practical measures which we at happiness.com highly recommend. However, they are primarily done in solitude and through introspection. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } The HAPPY app makes use of the key feature of the happiness.com platform – community. It's a happiness app that allows you to be in touch with people worldwide to share your struggles and support each other. To find strength in our shared humanity, our imperfection, and our deep care for each other and the planet. HAPPY is an app that aims to build a community and to use it to elevate your well-being through: Joining a conscious, global community. Engaging in big topics and intimate conversations. Sharing common interests and new perspectives. Building mutual support through shared struggles. Everyone experiences ups and downs, but how do we master the downs skillfully? The HAPPY app facilitates a safe and mutually supportive community where tools, practices and experiences enable everyone to live happy and fulfilled lives. HAPPY: our well-being app focuses on community For example, are you awake at 3am full of anxiety? Share your struggles live on the HAPPY app, and who knows where in the world someone else will be awake who relates to your experience and has kind words of support. Maybe you are in the metro on the way to work, and you can be the person who is offering those accepting words and emotional support. The HAPPY App is the mobile addition to happiness.com: your pocketful of happiness. Making the healing power of human connection – the happiness community – accessible on your phone. 5. Happier Android: unavailable iPhone: free Happier is an Apple app on a mission: to make sure you appreciate life to the fullest. Happier app was developed by Nataly Kogan, a TEDtalk speaker who emigrated from Russia when she was young and went through hard times, escaping oppression in the Soviet Union while her family got on their feet in the Detroit projects. Allegedly, Kogan vowed to find happiness, first looking towards success and wealth to achieve it. Quite understandably, this did not lead her where she wanted, so she turned towards her father's work – science – to see what next steps she could take. Happier app: an overview of what's inside In practice, the app works by helping you to be "more present and positive throughout the day," working like a life appreciation platform, or a personal life coach. Each day it prompts you to write what you're most grateful for, be it the sun shining on your back, a moment spent with a loved one, making every stoplight on the street, or getting your favourite ice cream – you can even add pictures • JOIN US! Discover more tips on happiness with our open and inspired community • These are moments that you might not notice if not for Happier, with which you can "create, collect and share those tiny positive moments." Ways you can use it are to lift your mood, take a meditation break, or enjoy the moments that make your day happier. “Happier app works by helping you to be 'more present and positive throughout the day', working like a life appreciation platform, or even a personal life coach.” The Happier app is portable and can be used on Apple watch as well, acting as your gratitude journal. It also offers “bite-sized, expert-led courses,” to teach you more about the practice and science of happiness on which the app is based, breaching subjects like strength, calmness, and gratitude. What's more, it works as a sort of happiness social media platform, where you can connect to those around you (if you want, since sharing publicly is entirely optional) and get inspired by their gratitude posts. There's something very zen about Happier, an app which urges you to think of happiness, not like a feeling, but more like a muscle to be trained and on which you can rely on your day-to-day life. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } So, here's a recap as to why you should use the Happier app: Instead of selling you unattainable happiness, it helps you to appreciate what you already have; To keep a picture, easily updatable scrapbook on what you're most grateful for; It helps you learn more about the science behind positive psychology. 6. Yolife Android: free iPhone: free A relative newcomer into the happiness app scene, Yolife is described as 'your personal coach to live longer in good health'. Indeed, the vision of the Yolife founders is to add 15 healthy years to the lives of at least one million people in the world. And what does great health bring? Greater happiness, that's what. Signing up via log-in or Facebook, the first stage of Yolife involves completing an engaging health consultation, answering questions about your health, habits, exercise, social life and such. Your responses determine just how many extra healthy years they suggest you'll live in good health. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Love life: Yolife wants you to live longer in great health Furthermore, with each answer you give there's a scientific explanation behind it and the chance to read more. Indeed, Yolife is thoroughly research-based, using clinical studies and advisory board for input. The design is modern and sleek, with a refreshing sense of humor in the texts, too. After completing the consultation you can see how many estimated healthy years you have. What comes next is your personalized programme of activities which aims to boost those healthy years further by helping you to discover which areas you have the greatest potential to improve. The programme includes classes on subjects such as optimal sleeping conditions, the purpose of life, sex makes you live longer (!), different ways of fasting, and plenty more. “The vision of the Yolife app is to add 15 healthy years to the lives of at least one million people in the world.” Yolife co-founder Tassilo Weber has his own definition of happiness which is very much present in the app: "I'm not only an entrepreneur, I also studied philosophy and still consider myself a philosopher by heart. Therefore, the pursuit and definition of happiness has always been a major topic in my life. And that influence cannot be hidden, as you use the Yolife app. The happiness app Yolife has a sleek, smart design “There's even one full session called “A formula for happiness”. It boils down to two things: 1. Find and follow a purpose. 2. Stay healthy for as long as possible. With these two pillars in place, happiness has the best chance to thrive. As Yolife is an app that helps you to live longer in good health and guided by purpose, I consider happiness as one of the main value propositions that we intend to bring to at least one million people.” So, here's a recap as to why you should use the Yolife: Science-backed suggestions on practical life changes; Track your progress and growth Sleek, modern design and great colours; The best happiness apps: conclusions Of course, using these happiness apps alone won't be enough to change your life. Spending too much time on your smartphone – even on happiness apps – won't give you time to put what you learn on these apps into practice. Still, there is science to back up the claims behind these programs. For example, a meta-analysis of 51 “positive-interventions” like mindfulness activities, gratitude writing, and goal-setting found them to “significantly enhance well-being and decrease depressive symptoms.” More specifically, one of the main ideas behind the majority of these apps, counting your blessings, has been proven to make you happier. We invite you to try out what we think are the best happiness apps to see what works best for you, and what pushes you to do the little things that will make your life better. Let us know below in the comments which ones have helped you the most! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Learning | Mindfulness | Meditation | Coaching Written by Rae Bathgate Rae Bathgate is an American journalist based in Barcelona, where she enjoys sunlight, yoga, and bookbinding.

What exactly is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? Let's take a deeper look at the definition of the psychologist's so-called 'pyramid of happiness' with Arlo Laibowitz. How do we become happy? It's question that has been asked since the dawn of time and answered by philosophers, gurus, and – more recently – psychologists. One of them was Abraham Maslow. He formulated 'Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs', also known as the 'pyramid of happiness.' It made up his 1943 paper A Theory of Human Motivation and was published in Psychological Review. So, what exactly is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and how can we learn from this pyramid example if we want to be happy? Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is a motivational theory in psychology consisting of a five-tier model of human needs, often shown as hierarchical levels within a pyramid. Maslow’s pyramid is divided into five levels of needs, from the bottom of the hierarchy upwards: physiological safety love and belonging esteem self-actualization Maslow's hierarchy of happiness: the need levels Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: the five levels 1. Physiological needs These are biological and physical requirements, like breathing, food, water, and sleep. When these needs are not fulfilled, they become the only thing we are preoccupied with. 2. Safety needs These are things such as physical safety, and needs for home, employment, income, and health. Without fulfilment of these needs, a person continually feels insecure and unprotected. 3. Love and belonging needs These deal with our desires for deep interpersonal connections, good family relationships, friendships, and sexual intimacy. Without them, we might become depressed or experience loneliness. 4. Esteem needs These are needs like self-esteem, confidence, achievement, and being respected by others. 5. Self-actualization needs These deal with creativity, spontaneity and problem-solving. They are met if we can become everything we are capable of becoming. Self-actualizing people have a grounded sense of well-being and satisfaction. And a sense of awe, wonder, and gratitude about life. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Pyramid of happiness: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Maslow noted that his hierarchy is a general description. And while he initially stated that individuals must satisfy lower level needs before progressing on to higher level growth needs, he later clarified that satisfaction of needs is not an “all-or-none” phenomenon. Therefore, levels are not fixed, and each need does not have to be fulfilled 100 per cent to be able to move to higher levels. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: deficiency needs So, looking at this hierarchy, how do we become happy? Maslow called the lower four levels 'deficiency needs' (D-needs): if they 're not met, it influences our psychological health and obstructs our tendency for growth, autonomy, identity, and excellence. The final, top level is the so-called 'growth' or 'being needs' (B-needs). In many cases, deficiency needs arise due to deprivation. When they are unmet, they are said to motivate people more. Indeed, motivation to fulfill these needs becomes stronger the longer they are denied. For example, the longer a person goes without food, the hungrier they will become. “Maslow noted that his hierarchy is a general description. Levels are not fixed, and each does not have to be fulfilled 100% to move to higher levels.” Pyramid of happiness: 'Growth' or 'Being' needs Maslow's 'growth' or 'being' needs do not necessarily stem from a lack of something, but rather from a desire to grow as a person. Once these growth needs have been more or less satisfied, one could be thought to reach the top of the pyramid of happiness – the highest level, known as 'self-actualization'. Once someone has met their deficiency needs, the focus to self-actualization begins and we – even if only at a subconscious level — begin to contemplate deeper ideas about our existence, purpose and meaning in life. Each of us has the potential to move up the hierarchy toward a level of self-actualization. However, progress is often disrupted by a failure to meet lower level needs. Of course, life experiences, such as a loss of job, depression or anxiety, health issues, and many may cause individuals to fluctuate between levels of the happiness hierarchy. Indeed, not all os will move up the hierarchy in one way for ever: we may move back and forth between the different need types. Maslow’s Pyramid: expansion of the Hierarchy of Needs It's important to note that later, during the 1960s and 70s, Maslow added other levels to the top half of the needs pyramid, including 'cognitive', 'aesthetic' and, after 'self actualization', 'transcendence' needs. He studied what keeps self-actualizing people – those at the top of the happiness pyramid – motivated. He found that these people seek things like truth, goodness, beauty, excellence, and so on. 6. Cognitive needs These include knowledge and understanding, curiosity, exploration, need for meaning and predictability. 7. Aesthetic needs The appreciation and search for beauty, balance, form, etc. 8. Transcendence needs A human is motivated by values which transcend beyond the ego and personal self (e.g., experiences with nature, mysticism, aesthetic and sexual experiences, faith, altruism, the power of kindness, etc.) Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: expanded model Instead of being interests that involve self-interest, these values transcend the individual. By including these need types into Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs the psychologist answered criticism about the absence of desires to know, desires for beauty, and desires for truth, in his original model of the pyramid of happiness. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Friendship | Purpose of life | Mental health | Motivation Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.

Self-acceptance can be difficult, especially when we compare ourselves to others. But knowing your strengths and being happy with your flaws has real benefits. Arlo Laibowitz answers the question 'what is self-acceptance?' and shares 12 tips to help develop your self-love. Self-acceptance, self-love and improvement. It sounds like a great idea to strengthen our skills and habits. But, in fact, it can have a negative impact on us if we're constantly asking ourselves what we should do or should be all the time. Often, our inner critic makes a judgement that we're not good enough, and we don’t accept ourselves as we are at that moment. That can be a problem, because one of the most significant factors to be happy and to feel satisfied with life is self-acceptance. OK, what is self-acceptance exactly? Self-acceptance is: The awareness of your strengths and weaknesses The realistic appraisal of your talents, capabilities, and worth The feeling of satisfaction with your self, despite flaws and regardless of past choices Benefits of self-acceptance include: Mood regulation A decrease in depressive symptoms, the desire to be approved by others, fear of failure, and self-critique An increase in positive emotions, sense of freedom, self-worth, autonomy, and self-esteem .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } X Watch and learn: learn self-love and accepting yourself How to practise self-acceptance? Check out the video above and read below for 12 clear steps to being able to truly accept ourselves: 1. Become self-aware and set an intention Recognize your thoughts, feelings and pain, welcome them, and separate yourself from them. Then set the intention that you're willing to accept yourself in all aspects. 2. Celebrate your strengths And accept your weaknesses. Thinking about your strengths, ask yourself a few key questions: what are the traits that always earn you compliments? What areas of work do you excel at? What are your unique talents? Making a list of your strengths and past achievements and re-reading them when you are having an off moment is a great way to practise self-acceptance. “Making a list of your strengths and achievements and re-reading them when you're having an off moment is a great way to practise self-acceptance.” Also, add to the list whenever possible. Instead of focuses on failures or mistakes (which is normal), replace that negative thought with a positive one about when you achieved something. 3. Consider the people around you In recognizing positive and negative reinforcement, and practicing your sense of shared humanity, for instance, through loving-kindness meditation. This is one of the key steps of practicing radical self care – a lifestyle of making choices that honor our true selves and nurture our authenticity. 4. Create a support system Surround yourself with people that accept you and believe in you – and avoid those that don't. Indeed, quality relationships are key to happiness and acceptance of self. In a landmark 75-year, multigenerational study, Robert Waldinger measured happiness levels in people from Boston’s poorest neighborhoods. The most joyful were those with high-quality social connections. Friend focus: surround yourself with people that accept you for you 5. Forgive yourself This can be a tough one to conquer, but learning to move on from past regrets and accepting that you were the best possible you at that moment is a key step to self-acceptance. Indeed, even if we’ve become pretty good about being able to forgive others, self-forgiveness seems to be much more difficult. • STRUGGLING TO ACCEPT YOURSELF? Join our community and find support • So, in order to forgive ourselves, we first need to admit to ourselves that we made a mistake. Take ownership and acknowledge your error — then, try to retain what you learned from the event but release everything else (here's how to stop ruminating over things you cannot change). Try to appreciate those missteps for what they actually are: a stepping stone on your life path. Also, remind yourself that mistakes and failures are part of being human. In fact, it’s how we learn and grow. 6. Realize that acceptance is not resignation Acceptance is letting go of the past and things we cannot control. You can then focus on what you can control, and empower yourself further. 7. Quiet your inner critic And stop rating yourself against others. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “comparison is the thief of joy,” and today this rings truer than ever. One way is to try to avoid scrolling endlessly through social media channels and comparing your life to that of others. Remember, people only tend to present and project the positive images of their lives – you never really know how people are feeling behind the scenes. 8. Grieve the loss of unrealised dreams Perhaps you've found yourself in a job you don't enjoy, an area you never wanted to live in, or single when you’ve always dreamed of being settled with a partner. Whatever it is, we often wonder what dreams are worth holding onto and whether, in fact, it's time to just let go. “One of the most significant factors to be happy, and overall feel satisfied with your life, is self-acceptance.” And when it is time to let go, it's not always easy. For some of these plans, giving them up can lead to freedom. But for other unrealized dreams, there can be deep grief involved. Whatever your situation, realize that letting go of unrealized dreams doesn't stop you dreaming of new situations and aspirations for your future! Reconcile who you are with the ideal image of your youth or younger self and grab hold of what's coming next. RELATED: The 8 types of grief explained 9. Perform charitable acts Give to others through volunteering and recognize how you can help and make a difference in others’ lives. The benefits of kindness are scientifically proven and both mental and physical. 10. Speak to your highest self The inner voice that has compassion, empathy, and love, to others, and to yourself. Follow our 12 steps and learn how to practice self-acceptance 11. Be kind to yourself Cultivate self-compassion, in not judging yourself, or over-identifying with self-defeating thoughts or behaviour. Take care of your mind and body. 12. Keep believing in yourself Use positive self-talk and practice PERT: Positive Emotion Refocusing Technique when times are tough. The path to self-acceptance can be rough and bumpy. There will be times that current external circumstances, past experiences, and our programming make it hard or impossible to accept ourselves. If this happens, there's no shame in seeking help – from a loved one or a professional – when things get too hard. In the end, the greatest gift you can give yourself is self-acceptance. In the words of psychologist Tara Brach: “Imperfection is not our personal problem – it is a natural part of existing. The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.” By learning how to practice self-acceptance and self-love, we can learn to live with our imperfections and be truly free and happy. ● Main image: mimagephotography/shutterstock happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Self-Care | Acceptance | Letting go | Compassion Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.

Ikigai (pronounced Ick-ee-guy) is a concept originating from the Japanese island of Okinawa, home to the largest population of centenarians in the world. So, could finding our ikigai – our reason for being – lead to happiness and longevity in life? Arlo Laibowitz explores this interesting idea... Why do we get up in the morning?, What is the meaning of life? Why don’t we commit suicide? These are all questions that we think about or need to answer at some point in our lives, either professionally or personally. The Japanese concept of Ikigai answers these questions, by finding our reason for being. So, what exactly is Ikigai, and how can we use its lessons to find meaning and happiness in our lives? Ikigai, according to one definition, is our “raison d’être”, or the happiness of always being busy, both in our professional life and everyday life. It's the passion and talent we have that gives meaning to our days and drives us to share the best of ourselves with the world. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Ikigai helps you find your reason for being, and therefore, passion and meaning When we look for our professional ikigai, we can ask ourselves four questions: What do we love? What are we good at? What does the world need? What can you be paid for? Ikigai is found at the intersection of these four questions, where passion, mission, vocation, and profession meet. To determine our ikigai, we can try to: Find a purpose we strongly believe in. Stop thinking and start doing. Speak to people who have similar passions. And, accept that setbacks are normal. Ikagi at work: Knowing what you love and what you're good at can help you make better career options The characteristic of everyday ikigai are: Finding flow in everything we do, and remaining active. Taking it slow, and not worrying. Cultivating good habits, including good nutrition. Nurturing good friendships. Living an unhurried life, and exercising daily. Being optimistic and smiling a lot. Reconnecting with nature. Giving thanks, and having resilience. Cherishing "wabi-sabi", or the imperfection of life. And, living by "ichi-go, ichi-e": the knowledge that this moment exists only now, and won’t come again. Ikigai is an attitude towards life, a way of finding our optimal activities in life, and a set of characteristics that can create meaning and happiness in life. By finding our professional ikigai, and living according to its characteristics in our day-to-day, we can lead meaningful and fulfilling lives. On the Japanese island of Okinawa, people live among the longest in the world. Their secret: following their ikigai, and thereby constantly maintaining their happiness. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Purpose of Life | Motivation | Work Life Balance Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.

Ever had the feeling of complete focus and contentment on a work task or hobby? That's called 'flow', and when you find it, cherish it. Because, as Arlo Laibowitz explains, finding that elusive state of flow can lead to great happiness. True happiness and satisfaction in our work, studies, or hobbies. These are things we all strive for, but only a few seem to be able to obtain such contentment. Did you know that there is a state that means to be fulfilled and engaged in these activities? That state is called flow, named by Hungarian psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi [Mee-high cheek-sent-mee-high]. So, what is 'flow' and how can we obtain it? What is the state of flow? Csikszentmihalyi defines flow as the mental state in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of focus, involvement and enjoyment: “A state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience is so enjoyable that people will continue to do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.” The state of flow is characterised by total absorption in what one does, and the resulting loss in one's sense of space and time: Action and awareness become merged. We have no worry of failure, because we are in control. Our sense of time becomes distorted, because the activity becomes rewarding in itself. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } xx A state of flow leads to great happiness The physiology of flow Physiologically, consciousness, worry and self-reflection all reside in the front part of our brains. When we achieve a state of flow, this front area experiences decreased activity. This increases function in the other areas of our brains, enabling creativity and new ideas to emerge. Indeed, this state is not inhibited by the that more conscious part of our brains, therefore boosting productivity and creativity. • JOIN US! Need support? Sign-up to happiness.com and join a community that cares • Curiously, achieving a state of flow affects other parts of our bodies, too. According to Jyoti Mishra, an attention researcher at San Francisco's University of California, blood flow moves to brain regions that process relevant, rather than random, sounds. This results in us being able to tune out sounds such as ticking clocks, passing cars, etc, when we are fully occupied in our task. “The state of flow is characterised by total absorption in what one does, and the resulting loss in one's sense of space and time.” A state of flow also reduces the perception of pain, so that – according to Csikszentmihalyi – aches and exhaustion "have no chance to register in consciousness.” Furthermore, the concentration involved in flow deepens breathing, increasing oxygen levels and reducing lethargy. Flow: how to achieve it There are people who have developed their flow in such a way that every obstacle becomes an enjoyable challenge. Csikszentmihalyi calls these people 'autotelic'. These are people that are never bored, rarely suffer anxiety, and are constantly involved with what is going on around them. So, how do we become more autotelic ourselves? There are some conditions that have to be met to achieve it: The activity has a clear set of goals and progress. The task must have clear and immediate feedback. We have to pay attention to what is happening in the moment without distractions. We need to learn to enjoy the immediate experience. We have to proportion our skills to the challenge. How do we obtain a state of flow? Flow is a balancing act between anxiety – when the task is too difficult – and boredom – when the task is not difficult enough. That's because when we are in flow, we subconsciously work towards becoming masters. So, to maintain flow, we must seek greater challenges. Go with the flow: challenging hobbies leads to happiness It's an innately positive experience. It produces intense feelings of enjoyment, with long-term benefits to positive effect and happiness. Csikszentmihályi also stated that happiness comes from personal development and growth. Flow states create this development and growth. If you're having trouble finding your flow, take time to think about a time when you were doing something and felt all your worries slide away. It could be something as simple as a relaxing walk in nature, or perhaps a creative activity such as mandala colouring. Try to repeat this experience as often as you can, and challenge yourself to do more elaborate versions of it. RELATED: Ava Marie Doodles – the handmade heroine The more time we spend in flow-state activities, the more our intrinsic motivation and self-directed learning increase. So, challenge yourself with more complicated tasks, improve your skills, and repeat this process continuously, to help boost your happiness and life satisfaction. ● Main image: shutterstock/shurkin_son Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.

It’s often said that schools don’t provide the life skills children really need as adults, but emotional education – or social emotional learning – is becoming much more popular. Arlo Laibowitz explores what it is and just how it benefits the younger members of our community. Traditionally, education focuses on three R’s: reading, writing, and arithmetic. But to become happy and caring individuals, those skills are not enough. Increasingly, there’s also attention to 'soft skills', most often called emotional education or social emotional learning (SEL). What exactly is social emotional learning (SEL)? Social emotional learning is the process through which students acquire and apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary to: understand and manage emotions (self-awareness) set and achieve positive goals (self-management) feel and show empathy to others (social awareness) establish and maintain positive relationships (relationship skills) make responsible decisions. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } What does social emotional learning focus on? Self-Awareness trains the ability to focus on one's emotions, thoughts, and values, and how they influence behaviour. Also, it strengthens the capacity to assess one’s strengths and limitations, with confidence, optimism, and a ‘growth mindset’. Self-Management trains the skills to regulate emotions, thoughts, and behaviours in different situations: managing stress, controlling impulses, and motivating oneself. Social Awareness focuses on the ability to take the perspective and empathise with others. It enables the student to understand social and ethical norms. Relationships skills strengthen the students in their ability to establish and maintain healthy and rewarding relationships, to communicate clearly, listen mindfully, cooperate with others, negotiate conflict, and seek and offer help. Responsible decision making trains the capacity to make constructive choices about personal behaviour and social interactions based on ethics, safety, and social norms. How can it be used to help students? The three R’s of emotional education that are found in social emotional learning are focused on emotional literacy: Regulation, Reconstruction and Resilience: Students learn to regulate their emotions and alter them. Reconstruction of emotions enables emotionally healthy and positive responses. And when students are capable of balancing conflicting and competing emotions, they become calmer and more resilient. The reasons to adopt social emotional learning are these positive results: To overcome and manage emotions like fear, hatred, anger, and anxiety. To increase academic success, in test scores, grades, and attendance. To lower stress levels, and have more positive attitudes towards themselves, others, and tasks. To prevent harmful behaviors like drug use, violence, and bullying. And to provide students with the skills they will need in their future careers and lives. The skills taught through SEL help students, educators, and parents to cultivate more positive emotions. Education can be used as a tool to serve the greater good: students learn to sustain their well-being and happiness and care for themselves and others. In the shift from the traditional three R’s to the three R’s of emotional learning, students, schools, and parents, develop skills and competencies that enable them to lead more balanced, empathic, connected, and happier lives. ● Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.

Looking to develop or improve your mindfulness practice? Tine Steiss reviews Mindfulness Daily, an app that aims to do just that. In Mindfulness Daily, Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach are presenting a 40-day introduction for mindfulness and meditation. You can access the daily lessons via an app or online. Mindfulness Daily app: what is it? The lessons are usually around 10 minutes long and are either taught by Jack or Tara. An explanation about today's subject is followed by a guided meditation to dig deeper into the subject. It's wrapped up with a daily practice to try throughout the day. Finding some space to incorporate your Mindfulness Daily practice during the start of your day could be a great idea. RELATED: Morning meditation – the secret to a great day Once you've completed a lesson you can access the following one the next day. This creates a nice pace and means that you can't rush through the course. You're given the time to explore each lesson throughout your day and you can always revisit the lessons you've already completed. These lessons are currently divided into four main topics: Mindfulness Basics Emotional Intelligence Resilience, Healing and Inner Freedom Mindful Living With the latest update of the Mindfulness Daily app, each lesson also has a name. This makes it much easier to revisit your most influential lessons when you feel like you need them. With this, you can tailor your sittings to your daily needs once you've finished the course by starting out with a subject you'd like to focus on. Which means the app keeps being your little helper, even after having finished the course. “Once you've completed a lesson on Mindfulness Daily you can access the following one the next day. This creates a nice pace and you can't rush through the course.” The course has a great structure that guides you through all the relevant areas of mindfulness without being boring or too demanding. It's suitable for beginners as a first introduction to mindfulness, but if you're more experienced you will still find this course helpful and structured and are likely to discover new aspects of mindfulness for yourself. Get 'appy: Mindfulness Daily offers 40 lessons Going through 40 aspects in 40 lessons you'll most likely encounter some that seem to be an easy ride and some that touch you on a deeper level. So, this is also a great way to explore where to focus on more in your future practice. Pricing and benefits Mindfulness Daily is distributed by Sounds True, an independent multimedia publishing company focusing on spiritual traditions, arts and humanities. I paid $38 for the app, so each lesson came down to less than $1. If you download Mindfulness Daily you also get access to other free Sounds True content. Even its regular newsletters come with free content, so the marketing is actually a win-win deal; they remind you to spend your money with them and give you something nice for free. Fair enough if you ask me. [UPDATE] Mindfulness daily is now available for free! RELATED: The 5 best happiness apps to improve well-being The Sounds True library app is a similar deal. It provides you with easy access to meditations, music, Mindfulness Daily and whatever else you may buy there in the future. It also tracks the time you've been meditating with the app, offers a meditation timer with different bells, and a journal for your experiences. This keeps me from not deleting the app from my phone and even using it on a daily basis. Mindfulness Daily: my personal experience Due to the briefness of each lesson, it's easily incorporated into your morning routine. At least for me, it was easy to sit down for ten minutes each morning and I didn't skip or postpone a single day. Most of the time I'd even revisit a lesson in the evening again to wrap up my day. “The Mindfulness Daily app course has a great structure that guides you through all the relevant areas of mindfulness without being boring or too demanding.” I started with meditation many years ago, but it wasn't until about two years ago that I developed my personal daily routine. Having a structured program is very helpful for me to keep up a daily practice. Even better if it helps me revisit and expand my knowledge and practice. So, the structured daily lessons were really up my alley to start with. I also realized how I got a bit slack after the course had finished. But I started using single lessons matching my needs that day as an intro to my daily practice. High praise: daily meditation using Mindfulness Daily works Furthermore, I admit to being a bit of a Tara Brach fangirl. She has a lot of free content out there that I listen to regularly. Normally it's harder for me to concentrate on a subject if I'm just listening and I prefer reading about it. In her case, it's the other way around. I had some troubles reading her book True Refugee. On the other hand, listening to her talks is a great experience, as the way she explains things really resonates with me. So, that's one of the main reasons I chose this course. If you're unsure about whether or not you like Tara Brach's or Jack Kornfield's style, just check out the free content they provide. Some of it you can also get for free on Sounds True. ● Main photo: colourbox.com Written by Tine Steiss Tine is part of the happiness.com team. She's an artist, meditator, media engineer and MBSR teacher. If she's not traveling she's working on turning her rooftop terrace into a garden paradise. Find out more about her on Instagram.