Members Cd**** Posted October 27, 2023 Members Posted October 27, 2023 I've been friends with someone for over 11 years. We were housemates at college and ended up living within 45 mins of each other for 9 years after graduation and met up every few months. When we were both married we would meet up as a couple a few times a year around 3 or 4. A few years ago they moved slightly further away and the distance is now probably double what it was. However, we continued to meet up a few times a year half way. When we had our first child the distance was still 45mins and they were great really supportive. They met with us several times when he was small till the age of about 18months even when they moved. Things got a bit odd about a year ago, despite finishing renovating their house we have never received a invite, where others have, which feels odd as we used to meet at each others houses alot. When we had a late baptism for our child (pandemic) when he was two, only my friend showed up with a excuse from his partner. Since then everytime we have mentioned meeting as a 4 (plus our toddler) we have been ghosted. No response. You wait few weeks or a month, send a message asking 'how there doing' or sharing news, and not mentioning dates to meet, and a reply comes through within the day, you can go a few weeks doing that with no issues and then as soon as you mention dates. Ghosted. This hurts slightly more as we recently had out second child, despite invites and indicating they'd like to come see him, they have made 0 effort to be there for us or meet the child outside of messages. I've met up with my friend a few times this year just us and it's been fine - a few weeks back I suggested (having not done so for around 10 weeks) all 4 of us meeting or, if they were two busy for that, just him and me and again ghosted. It's been 4 months since I've seen him now. Yesterday, same thing, message a 'how are you?' and by the evening a long reply apologizing for being bad at replying due to busyness / other stresses in life - no mention of meeting. Yet in the message they happily told me how they were meeting up with a mutual friend, on way back from somewhere, and had others friends round there house recently. They seem oblivious to what there doing, but, then, I think; how can you be? What has changed? Has your partner decided we're not worth the effort, and, if so, I'd wish you'd just say! I really don't know what to do. I don't want to lose my friend of 11 years, but also really don't like their habit of ghosting me for wanting to arrange meeting up! I feel pretty hurt they don't want to meet my newest child despite indicating they would. Part of me wants to just say "what gives" or "have we done something" but I honestly don't know where we'd end up if I did and that's scary. Currently, I've not replied as I don't know what to say which is unlike me, I'm the reply within a day kinda person.
Recommended Posts