The effects of scammers on me - a personal note

[Tine]

Recently happiness.com gets flooded with scammers. I guess that's somewhat normal for a community, and maybe it means that we are growing, but I also feel really sad, disappointed, and at times mad about this development. Perhaps we are naive to think we can create a safe space anywhere for people to be themselves, create a supportive community, and relax. Maybe the lesson here is never to let our guard down, never to trust, and never to help anyone because it might be a scam.

But this is not the world I want to live in. I want to actively work towards a world where people can trust each other, look out for each other, and support each other selflessly.

 

You scammers are actively making this a whole lot harder, and it sucks!

I am actively engaged in educating myself regarding racist stereotypes and demolishing white supremacy and heteronormative patriarchy. As a member of the community managers, I see the fake check images. So please explain why 99% of all "in your face sexy" white woman accounts and "older white men looking for real love after a successful life" accounts are run by black men mainly from Nigeria and Ghana? What does it tell about this world and our (internalized) racist, sexist, classist, colonialist, and what-not-ist stereotypes and how does it reinforce them? 

Maybe try to "trick" someone else into loving you for being this nice guy from Nigeria? Why invest time into pretending that you are a "random pornstar picture from the internet" lady when you could be YOU? It might even be faster. And I bet it's a lot easier to be yourself. 

 

I apologize to the people from Nigeria for this generalized thought upfront. I am aware that it's of cause, not all Nigerians. I don't want to be left with only one learning "If the person is from Nigeria, be careful it's likely that they want to rip you off." I don't want the name Nigeria ring an alarm bell in my mind. Do you see the damaging nature of those scammer interactions? I want to learn about Nigeria and the Nigerian people, the many different tribes and languages, about culture, food, traditions, and values instead. I want to be respectful, humble, open, amazed and appreciative, not mistrusting and expecting the worst. 

 

Try honesty - it's easier and more sustainable. It doesn't hurt your soul, spirit, your character - whatever you call it.

 

You are beautiful and worthy the way you are!

Thank you.

[zy****]

40 minutes ago, Tine said:

how does it reinforce them? 

Maybe try to "trick" someone else into loving you for being this nice guy from Nigeria? Why invest time into pretending that you are a "random pornstar picture from the internet" lady when you could be YOU?

It's about money.
These people wouldn't do it if there wouldn't be enough people giving them personal data, "loaning" them money or something like that.

 

The advertisement posts are about money too. It's very cheap and fast to pay someone for spam posting advertisement and appearently, there are enough people reacting on this ads to make it profitable.

 

As a core team member, you can turn the tables and annoy these people with restrictions. Maybe only allow only 1 post per day and 1 personal message per day in the first week of membership or something like that.

[Ge****]

vor 18 Minuten, schrieb suedseefrucht:

It's about money.
These people wouldn't do it if there wouldn't be enough people giving them personal data, "loaning" them money or something like that.

 

The advertisement posts are about money too. It's very cheap and fast to pay someone for spam posting advertisement and appearently, there are enough people reacting on this ads to make it profitable.

 

As a core team member, you can turn the tables and annoy these people with restrictions. Maybe only allow only 1 post per day and 1 personal message per day in the first week of membership or something like that.

Sadly it's not so easy to restrict them. Then they have to restrict ALL members. 
But the real users can help: If you see something like scam / spam then visit the profile, tap on the three dots in the upper right and tap on report and report them as spammers. So everyone can help the team to clear our all safespace.

[Un****]

I know they are everywhere I was bothered by them in the beginning heck messenger and fb social if you don't know friends or family the rest is scams or marketing scammers are not very smart they suck at lies I set and let them go just see how far they are going I'm even sometimes saying I know what you are they don't listen I guess once in awhile I feel like I may be helping an old guy out of they are thinking I am suckered I'm wasting their time innocent name they were about to try I took his place 95% are scammers if school is- no where ,work -no jobs , live Houston hometown Houston and friends list 200 men all Nigerian or foreign not texan they write the same as they talk not English don't get sentence spelled correctly if the do then words are out of place . I do hate them little boogers but they are out there I expose em play em out just before they ask for money I say no then the online dating trust thing is coming I just tell them pretty much what they are going to say they know then and poof ghost me lol . I do know 1st sentence it's not often I keep pretty busy ionce in awhile one will just rub me the wrong way I just go have fun 

 

[Tine]

3 hours ago, suedseefrucht said:

there are enough people reacting on this ads to make it profitable

This puzzles me, but the amount of spammers and scammers seems to prove your point. I have heard of pretty professional call centers for scammers for whom it's pretty much just a job like any other job and they are pay a percentage of what they scam out of people.

There's a pretty evident lack of jobs which both pay your bills and do so without damaging others in one way or another.

 

[Tine]

3 hours ago, suedseefrucht said:

annoy these people with restrictions

Yes, we have restrictions and measures in place which we are refining. We started off pretty open because we didn't want to start with negative assumptions about people but respond to problems when they arise, if they arise.

The spammer and scammer problem is now clearly there and we are working on more ways to detect and block early. That's one way to tackle the problem and we are super grateful for each user who supports us by reporting pics and users quickly. 🥰 This is keeping us all safe.

Another way for users to be safe is to see if the person they are talking to has passed the profile verification checks.

 

[Berta]

I am glad you raised this issue. I was wondering what is going on these days. What a waste of time and energy.

[Ge****]

vor 9 Minuten, schrieb Berta:

I am glad you raised this issue. I was wondering what is going on these days. What a waste of time and energy.

Sadly any kind of communitys have to fight with exactly these problems 😕 Even dating or special topics. I'm on an forum for spiritual doings and they have the same scammers every day.

[br****]

You see one thing is this scammers feel we are racist that’s why .if they use there black faces an color we won’t even give them an attention that’s why they go ahead still peoples pictures an all of that

[zy****]

Skin color shouldn't matter at all. 

If you are saying: "We", I'm not part of this "We", because I judge peoples behavior, not their appearance. 

 

And if you would be right and "black scammers" use fake pictures, the only people suffering from no attention would be the nice people, right? 

So it's wrong to ignore by skin color. 

[br****]

I discovered It..thats my own understanding

[Tine]

As part of the community team, for this particular case I can say the easiest to spot scammers are black men creating profiles as white overly sexy woman.

People could also use their own pictures contacting others with the intention of scamming them.

We can't look into people's hearts.

There's enormous damage done, because essentially I need to mistrust everyone to keep me safe and that's from what I see in the world the root-cause of all evil.

 

What I am wondering is why there is the need to scam so blatantly if this whole project is about helping each other.

I am suggesting a different business model. Be yourself, be honest, be vulnerable. Make real friends and ask for help if you need it.

You might only be able to scam a person once and then you are damaged goods in terms of trust.

Be a good friend yourself and your friends will help you again and again.