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Life is seldom smooth-sailing. Sonia Vadlamani shares some helpful, research-backed ways that can make navigating through life obstacles a great deal easier... and even enjoyable! Life is hard sometimes, as we’re all aware. A random analysis of any given week would present the various hassles we often come across: a flat tire, an unexpected expense, a flu that puts a dent in your plans for the week, an incomplete to-do list – you get the picture. As a matter of fact, these challenges seem to multiply as we grow older. We assume we have it all under control, until we’re suddenly mired amidst one too many adversities and unforeseen hardships like major health conditions, loved ones suffering or passing away and the grief that follows, having to end a friendship, relationship breakdowns, to name but a few. I’m no stranger to the realization that life will always remain unpredictable despite all my thorough planning, and there will always be contingencies which I couldn’t have scheduled. For instance, I thought I had mapped out my plans for 2020 to the last detail, when COVID-19 pandemic struck, and changed my perspective about navigating through life events entirely. Not only did I have to cancel all my travel plans, but I lost an ailing grandfather who I nurtured a very affectionate relationship with. To add to my troubles, my gym, favorite hangout spots, friends and all social events we enjoyed became inaccessible due to the pandemic, leaving me feeling confused, restless and helpless. While I did still have plenty to be grateful for, life as I knew it had been altered dramatically, and I seemed to have no clue how to cope with such unprecedented times. However, in hindsight, it seems that like billions of other people throughout the world, I went about navigating through life and overcoming challenges with determination and resilience. Indeed, staying resilient and maintaining a positive disposition during a rough ride can prove to be cumbersome. Nevertheless, navigating through life becomes easier when we accept challenges as a chance to rise above our insecurities and fear of change. Navigating life: 10 helpful tips Sometimes, navigating through life with all its difficulties can seem like a daunting task. You may find yourself stuck with the feeling that you’re never good enough, or that life’s been unfair to you and you were cut a raw deal. Truth is, challenges arise in everyone’s lives, and no one can remain secure in their comfort zone for too long. But it’s entirely up to us as to how we go about to seek a happy, successful life. Here are ten science-backed rules to help us navigate through life’s challenges head-on, so we can lead happier, meaningful lives. 1. Be true to yourself Living in the digital era, it’s easy to get caught in the comparison trap and lose your sense of individuality sometimes. Indeed, authenticity in today’s technology-dominated times may seem like a risky move – especially when social media and other shaping forces in our lives, such as parents, teachers and peers may have told us to ‘fit in’ and conform – in order to feel a connection. As a result, we often hide our true selves due to the fear of rejection and judgment from others. Confronting – not avoiding – challenges is a key way to navigate life However, research suggests that authenticity is an integral part of happiness, and can boost one’s self-esteem, in addition to lowering stress levels. In fact, real, lasting connections are forged when we are true to ourselves. Indeed, cultivating your authentic self can seem challenging at first, but the rewards it enables you to reap – in the form of greater life satisfaction, strengthened interpersonal relationships, and a reinforced sense of purpose – make it all worth pursuing. 2. Confront challenges Life has a way of presenting us consistently with challenges that will assess our emotional mettle, be it in the form of injury, illness, loss, grief or an uncertain future. Accepting this can allow us to be fully present and relish the gifts we have in our lives this very moment, as we live each day with renewed appreciation, joy and lasting confidence in our own capabilities. “The happiest people I know are dedicated to dealing with the most difficult problems,” reveals Rosabeth M Kanter, founding chair of Harvard Advanced Leadership Initiative, and author of Think Outside The Building. In fact, Kanter suggests dividing our challenges into two categories: the ones we’re dealing with immediately, and those which give us a “chance to make a difference”. The latter helps us look at hurdles in a new light, making us better equipped for navigating through life with a sense of purpose. 3. Distinguish thoughts from fact Most of us are guilty of spending too much time ‘in our heads’ or being pre-occupied with our thoughts. According to research, humans are hardwired for negativity, which means that it’s natural for most of us to feel negative outcomes or emotions with a greater intensity than positive feelings. As a result, we end up navigating life with a penchant for overthinking, which can affect our mental health and stress levels adversely according to research. “Overcoming challenges forms an important part of navigating through life, and the ability to view a situation from a different vantage point can allow us to learn a great deal about ourselves.” To make matters worse, we often mistake overthinking for problem-solving. Whereas the truth is that rumination impacts our decision making, thus interfering with our problem-solving abilities. Instead of catastrophizing the challenges, you need to stop ruminating and embrace them as stepping-stones to personal growth. Acknowledging that you are not your thoughts will allow you to take control of your thoughts, and put a stop to the tedious mental chatter. 4. Change your perspective Stephen Joseph, professor of psychology and author of Authentic: How to Be Yourself and Why It Matters, suggests that we change our perspective and consider challenges as “an important part of growing and developing as a person”. Indeed, overcoming challenges forms an important part of navigating through life, and the ability to view a situation from a different vantage point can allow us to learn a great deal about ourselves. Instead of living in denial in your comfort zone, we can gradually tune our minds to look at adversities as learning opportunities and face them head-on when they present themselves. Stepping back to get a better perspective, taking some time to clear your mind, and approaching the situation without rushing will enable you to gain newer insights. 5. Maintain a sense of humour Life can be a bumpy ride sometimes, and stress seems unavoidable given the daily hassles we experience, such as waiting times, unpleasant interactions with co-workers, deadlines, and failed plans. However, there is no need for a serious and skeptic demeanor all the times, and a little bit of humour and playfulness can go a long way to strengthen relationships and boost happiness levels. Infusing some humour in your daily life is a great way to prime your mind for optimism and navigate life with a positive attitude. 6. Be kind to yourself We often tend to beat ourselves up when things don’t go the way we planned. However, this cycle of self-criticism and ignoring the pain we feel seldom makes us feel any better. Compare this with how you’d treat a friend with love, kindness and encouragement when they face failure. Researcher Kristin Neff suggests that channeling self-compassion during tough times is crucial for overcoming challenges with an improved sense of connectedness and emotional balance. Indeed, being kind to yourself and treating yourself with love and compassion can make navigating through life an easier, happier feat. 7. Persistence is key While everyone adapts differently to a challenge or an adverse situation, one rule that holds true for everyone is that it’s never too late to get back on track to achieve your goals. Avoid the temptation to give up – researchers suggest that deserting your purpose or circumventing your goals can be emotionally painful, possibly resulting in grief-related distress or even depression. Cultivating persistence pays off without fail, as long as you set realistic goals and continue to put efforts in the right direction. Stay persistent and focused on achieving your dreams 8. Remember happiness is a journey, not a destination You may have noticed how accomplishing goals makes us happy but only for a limited time, as we then move on to the pursuit of happiness in the form of the next milestone. Psychologists refer to this tendency as the ‘happiness trap’, wherein one maintains an unrealistic purview of happiness, in addition to constantly comparing their happiness levels with that of others. “Being kind to yourself and treating yourself with love and compassion can make navigating through life an easier, happier feat.” However, researchers and philosophers stress the importance of viewing happiness as a journey not a destination that needs to be chased relentlessly. Indeed, it’s important to take the time to pause and smell some roses along the way. Navigating through life gets easier when we view happiness as a choice we can make consciously, and cultivating happy habits that can raise our well-being levels in a consistent manner. 9. Remain thoughtful, kind and gracious Difficult times warrant the need for human kindness more than ever, and it helps to treat others the same way we want to be treated. Expressing thankfulness, apologizing genuinely, complimenting others without an agenda, and offering support and encouragement in times of need helps strengthen our connection with others. Developing a reputation for being grateful, compassionate and kind can help you build lasting relationships that you can depend on whilst navigating life’s difficulties. 10. Devise and uphold your personal boundaries Personal boundaries are a measure of your self-esteem and help ensure that you aren’t vulnerable to being used or mistreated by others around you. Devising and establishing clear, strong boundaries in place helps foster trust and loyalty, thereby strengthening relationships. Healthy boundaries are not just about being able to express your views and needs assertively but are also helpful for navigating through life in a more efficient manner. Takeaway: navigating life As we all know from experience, life has its ups and downs. Most of also realize that we seek happiness, meaningful connections and fulfillment of our purpose as we navigate through it. Practising mindfulness, being accountable for your words and actions, developing an attitude of gratitude, and being present instead of worrying about the future can make navigating life easier – and more importantly – enjoyable. • Main image: shutterstock/fizkes happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Compassion | Friendship Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Mental health is equally as important as physical health, and the stigma around depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses is finally being addressed. Dee Marques answers the question 'why is mental health important?' and has some tips on how to strengthen your mind. Mental health is a growing concern in our society, and for good reason. According to the Mental Health Foundation, more than 15 per cent of all adults will experience a mental health problem in any given week, and the figures increase to almost 25 per cent among young people. All over the world, mental health issues account for a significant percentage of the overall disease burden, and the figures seem to be on the rise. Thankfully, mental health is seen as increasingly important and in recent years is becoming destigmatized as people discuss it openly more and more. The truth is that mental health problems can affect everyone, irrespective of their age, social class, and financial situation. Being 'successful' in life does not make you immune to suffering mental health issues. While it’s easy to link success with happiness, and happiness with sound mental health, this isn’t always as straightforward as it seems. Sadly, we’re all familiar with recent high-profile suicides involving celebrities like Robin Williams or designers like Kate Spade and Alexander McQueen. They were all successful, wealthy, and accomplished, which teaches us a lesson on why mental health is important: mental illness can affect everyone, just like physical illness. RELATED: Dealing with suicide, bereavement and loss On this note, there’s a tendency to give more importance to physical health than to mental health. This bias towards the physical may be due to the fact that physical disease is more obvious, easier to spot. The medical field is concerned with problems that can be objectively measured (such as weight, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, etc.), but mental illness and its symptoms aren’t as visible as their physical counterparts. If anything, this makes it ever more important to be familiar with mental health warning signs and risk factors. Mental health issues can affect everyone In any case, the importance of mental health cannot and should not be underestimated. Keep reading to find out why. Why is mental health important? Research shows that an unhealthy mind will sooner or later manifest itself into an unhealthy body. An Oxford University study revealed that some disorders can reduce life expectancy by up to 20 years – that’s more than heavy smoking. Others have found that people suffering from mental illness are at a higher risk of heart problems and of early death due to heart disease. The list goes on, linking poor mental health to diabetes, osteoporosis, autoimmune skin conditions, obesity, etc. Moreover, some sources describe mental health as social, psychological, and emotional well-being. When this is absent, we become less functional in our daily routine: studies show that mental illness can make us unable to hold down a job or even to get a job in the first place. “Why is mental health important? Research shows that an unhealthy mind will sooner or later manifest itself into an unhealthy body.” Other studies show that mental disorders put an enormous strain on personal relationships, weakening family and friendship bonds, which in turn can make people feel isolated and worsen their symptoms. To sum it up, the importance of mental health lies in its connection to physical health and the essential role it plays if we want to enjoy quality of life and happiness. Common mental health problems The most common mental health problems both in the UK and the US are anxiety and depression, which affect between 10 and 18 per cent of the population respectively. The figures are similar at global level, as it’s estimated the depression affects a staggering 300 million people worldwide. Anxiety and depression are important mental health conditions Also ranking high are bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and phobias or psychoses. It’s clear that mental health problems are widespread, and in fact, the figures could be higher, as in many cases mental health issues go unreported or undiagnosed. Factors that can affect mental health There’s no single cause of mental health issues, since different factors affect people differently, but overall we can classify risk factors into three types: Genetic/physical factors Some people are born with gene abnormalities or chemical imbalances that affect the brain function. Exposure to toxic substances or even bacterial infections are other risk factors. Environmental factors Environmental factors such as poverty or significant financial difficulties, growing up in a dysfunctional family, traumatic childhood experiences, marriage breakdown, and the loss of a loved one. Belonging to vulnerable groups Vulnerable groups such as women, ethnic minorities, homeless individuals, those struggling with addictions or substance misuse, and people with existing health problems. The variety of factors teaches us something about why mental health is important: there are so many factors involved, that no one is really immune to the risks. Mental health: important symptoms It’s important to be familiar with the warning signs of mental health issues, so you can address them in their early stages. Here are a list of some of the most noticeable mental health symptoms: Changes to sleeping and eating habits. Social withdrawal. Mood swings that affect your ability to carry on with daily tasks or your relationships with others. Increased consumption of addictive substances (tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc.). Inability to concentrate or to get rid of negative thoughts. Apathy. Loss of sex drive. Prolonged sadness or excessive worrying. Feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, and/or useless. Thoughts of self harm. Tips to strengthen your mental health Mental health is made up of different building blocks that work together, so it’s important to target as many bases as possible. Some practical ways to maintain positive mental health include: 1. Audit your own views on mental health Suffering a mental health condition doesn’t mean you’re flawed or weak and is not a reflection of your personality. You should understand that it can happen to anyone, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. 2. Build a support network with people Build a support network with people you feel comfortable discussing your feelings with and who share your views about why mental health is important. Struggling with mental health? A support network is important 3.Schedule 'me time' Take breaks and use that time productively to do things that you enjoy and that foster your creativity and sense of worth. 4. Adopt healthy daily habits From getting enough sleep to eating well. Being well rested and getting enough nutrients has a direct effect on how your brain works. Track what you eat/drink and your mood to see if you can spot any patterns. “The importance of mental health lies in its connection to physical health and the essential role it plays in quality of life and happiness.” 5. Develop coping skills Skills such as being able to identify negative thoughts so they don’t snowball into mood- and health-affecting disorders. Focus on how to become stronger and more resilient to stress, life changes, other people’s comments. On that note, mindfulness and gratitude are the crucial building blocks of resilience. 6. Keep active Exercise can boost your self-esteem and have a positive effect on your physical and mental health. Choose something that’s motivating enough so you can stick to it. 7. Get professional help if you need it. Don’t let the stigma attached to mental health issues stop you from getting stronger. Fortunately, nowadays mental health issues are being openly discussed and the importance of mental health is being recognised as a top priority. There’s professional help out there, and you’re not weaker or worthless for needing it and reaching out – if anything, you’re smarter for recognising your needs and taking action. Conclusion: why is mental health important? Being aware of the importance of mental health is one of the best ways to protect and nurture your self. This is a challenging but rewarding journey, which you can start today by using the tips we described above to strengthen your mind and live a happier life. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Trust | Sound baths | Pets | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

We all get down on ourselves sometimes, but if you're stuck in a rut and thinking “I hate my life”, then it's time to take action. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović shares 10 practical ideas to help put your life in perspective and turn things around so you can start loving it again... “I hate my life!” Does this statement (or, rather, exclamation bellowed in agony) resonate with you now or in the past? Then you are not alone. Life can be joyous, exhilarating and breathtaking. However, it is also unpredictable. Challenges arise, we make wrong decisions, difficulties get hurled our way. A part of life is to dislike some of it. You might have married the wrong person, and now you loathe your time together. Maybe you were hit by an economic crisis and cannot make ends meet. You could be chronically overworked, not having the time to do anything else. Sometimes it seems only logical to hate your life. I lived in that state for many years. And I do not mean a teenage “I hate my life!” exclamation when you embarrass yourself in front of the entire class. I'm talking about the darkest loathing of every waking moment. I know how your soul grows black when you feel inescapably hopeless and helpless. Why did I share that with you? Because I want you to know that what you will read is not empty talk. I have travelled the path, and I did so very recently. You, too, can swim back to the surface. How? Read on for some ideas on how to fight the antipathy you nurture towards your own life — and fall back in love with it. Stop hating, start reclaiming Hating your life is not a pretty state to be in. Wrong choices and regret tend to put you off course. I remember when I noticed my life suddenly starting to lose all its colours. I felt lost. I was paralysed by the revulsion when I catalogued all my failures that made my life unenjoyable, to say the least. If you have had enough of loathing, start reclaiming your life. It may be a long road to travel. Still, you are bound to become sager afterwards — not to mention happier. 1. Take time to reflect The very first step you need to take is to understand why you hate your life. It may be obvious, like having a job that drains your energy and has no higher purpose whatsoever. In other instances, the source of your hatred may not be so obvious. It could be a group of aspects of your life, like an unsupportive family, lack of time for hobbies, overly expensive apartment, wrong profession, and so on. If you hate your life, it's time to take steps to change it Take some time to reflect on the topic. Write down your thoughts if you need to. What it is exactly that you want out of your life? It would be best if you determined exactly where the loathing comes from. Because unless you know why you hate your life, it will be challenging to come up with how to change it. 2. Determine what's in your power to change When you're done with the soul-searching from the first step, you should analyse the situation. What is it that you can control and change? What is out of your hands? For example, if you're in an abusive relationship, there's little point in trying to make the abuser change. However, you can transform your perspective on things. You can gradually start refusing to think about your life and yourself as they dictate. Their insults do not have to be the building blocks of your identity. RELATED: Changing perspective and gaining happiness The Serenity Prayer, regardless of your religion, speaks about a pearl of universal and timeless wisdom: Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other 3. Remove unhelpful automatic thoughts Whatever your situation may be, chances are, the previous step led you to realise your thoughts are always in your hands. Indeed, it's the one thing we can always control. We all have many automatic thoughts. Unfortunately, they are often unhelpful. Such maladaptive thinking patterns cause numerous disturbances and difficulties, as a cross-cultural study found. A straightforward example: if you keep thinking “I hate my life” then you are gearing your mind towards negativity. “Come up with alternative statements and start thinking them instead of the negative ones. For example, replace 'I hate my life' with 'It's in my power to create the life I want.” Work on removing such maladaptive thoughts. Challenge them, search for counterarguments. Come up with alternative statements, and start thinking them instead of the negative ones. For example, replace “I hate my life” with “It is in my power to create the life I want”. Remember: you are not your thoughts. A systematic review of nearly 70 scientific papers confirmed the power of self-talk. Positive self-talk can improve our performance, help with depression or anxiety symptoms, and increase our confidence. 4. Forgive and self-forgive If you're in a situation that makes you hate your life, maybe you need to work on forgiveness. An extensive review of studies on forgiveness found that if we find it in ourselves to replace the unforgiving emotions with empathy and compassion, our bodies and minds heal. And what about self-forgiveness? When you forgive yourself, you open the doors to growing as a person, a study revealed. According to Stanford University’s summary of recent findings in the field, self-forgiveness leads to: Wisdom Increased ability to focus, success, and higher productivity Better emotional health More quality relationships A sense of happiness and gratitude Whether you’re feeling guilty for hurting another person, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or for failing to stick to healthy habits, let go of self-hate. Letting go of loathing will help you release your energy for a fresh start and a new, happier life. 5. Practise gratitude When you hate your life, you probably have a bias towards seeing the negatives. It may be a strong mental habit, making you blind to the opportunities that are still there for you. However, if you're fed up with the hatred of your life, start practising gratitude. Focus on all of the good things in your life. Indeed, even in the darkest moments, there is something to be grateful for. Practise gratitude and enjoy the simple things in life shutterstock/Serhii Yurkiv It may be your memories and the wonderful moments you've had in the past. It could be your inner strength and perseverance. Look at nature and cherish its beauty. Take a moment to watch the morning and be thankful for seeing it. Savour. Then move gradually towards recognising other positives in your life — friends, family, your home, your job... find the good in everything you can. In that way, you train your mind to stop focusing on the loathsome aspects of your life. Scientific research has confirmed the benefits of gratitude on life satisfaction and happiness. Suddenly, you will start seeing the opportunities to turn things around. 6. Avoid comparisons Comparing yourself to others can make you vulnerable to anxiety, low self-esteem and depression. We're naturally inclined to compare ourselves to others. Social media make it very difficult not to. However, what people showcase online is carefully corrected and selected to display only the best features. Trying to keep up with those fake standards is bound to make you hate your life. Even when you know images and posts are edited, they can still make you feel inadequate. “However, if you're fed up with the hatred of your life, start practising gratitude. Even in the darkest moments, there is something to be grateful for.” So, do not compare yourself. Direct your energy towards your authentic needs and wishes instead. Ask yourself — what would I want if I was not trying to keep up? What would I do if I did not care about praise, money, accomplishments, recognition? 7. Explore your passions Do you remember the last time you felt on top of the world? You were likely living in line with your principles and passions at that time. Now that you are not, you probably feel lost and “I hate my life” has become your mantra. Therefore, venture on to explore and (re)discover your interests. Ask yourself: “What is it that I used to love doing and believed in?” “What would I want to do if I did not have to care about money or anything else?” Search for the activities that give you something called flow, a phrase coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Flow is a state in which you get lost in an activity. You stop noticing time passing, and you're absorbed in what you're doing. Csikszentmihalyi’s research concluded that the more ‘flow’ you have in your life, the more resilience, well-being, and fulfilment you will enjoy. 8. Get support (and input) from your friends and family Hating your life puts you in a dark and, often, lonely place. You may be living under circumstances that isolate you. The heaviness of the feeling might be too much to hide or to share with others. Embrace family when you're feeling low in life shutterstock/AlessandroBiascioli Yet, being alone is a stressor on its own. It can make it too easy to ruminate about what you loathe about your life. Try to “prescribe” yourself socialising with people. Enjoy a casual coffee with friends or a heart-to-heart conversation about what worries you. Studies revealed that social support could help you step out of your head and gain a fresh perspective on things. 9. Look after yourself When you're in a state of loathing your life, it often becomes difficult to take good care of yourself. However, the mind-body connection goes two ways. When you're sleep-deprived, sick, and physically weak, you become psychologically vulnerable, too. RELATED: Feeling blue or clinically depressed? The 4 things you should look out for So, start looking after yourself. Sleep, exercise, get enough fresh air, eat healthy food. Scientific research has proven that physical activity helps lower the levels of stress hormones in your body. It also increases your ability to focus and use your intellectual skills better. As a result, you will gain clarity and better control over your emotions. Same goes for other acts of self-care. Give yourself plenty of self-love, even when you do not feel like it. Your future self will thank you. 10. Make a plan of action After all of the steps above, you're probably ready to make an action plan. Identify what makes you unhappy. Commit to making small steps to improve things. Each day, ask yourself: “What is it that I can do to move closer to my goal today?” The “I hate my life” monster might raise its ugly head a few more times. However, stop sabotaging yourself. Do not allow it to stay in your head for too long. Remember — our time on this planet is limited. You do not want to spend whatever time you have left hating your life — you want to change it while you can. Takeaway: I hate my life Yes, you only get to live once. So, does it make any sense to hate your life? Is it not wiser to try and change it around? It may take some time, but if you use the rock bottom you're at right now to push yourself back to the surface, you will be able to say: “I survived”. You will start to love living again and enjoy every moment of it. • Main image: shutterstock/Srdjan Randjelovic Please note that the “I hate my life” sentiment might be a symptom of clinical depression. If you experience any of the signs of this emotional disorder, make sure to reach out to your local mental health services. In the US, you can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for free and confidential support. Use Lifeline Chat or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). In the UK, call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected] for a reply within 24 hours. You can also text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text “YM” if you're under 19. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting in our happiness forum ■ learning with free online Academy classes Authenticity | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Most of us have probably asked ourselves what's the point of life'? Indeed, sometimes our time on Earth can seem futile. However, Dee Marques argues that finding meaning in your existence is key and tells you the three vital questions you should ask yourself to help find it. There comes a point in our lives where, no matter how successful we think we are, we’re bound to question why we’re here, what we're doing and where we’re going. Sometimes, posing these questions can help us evaluate our goals and lifestyle and improve them for better physical and mental health. In other cases – perhaps when we're feeling low or vulnerable – wondering what the point of life is can amplify feelings of depression, anxiety and emptiness. As humans, we’re unique in the animal kingdom, among many other reasons because of our quest for finding fulfilment and happiness in life. We aim to do more than eat, sleep, reproduce, and stay safe. This quest for meaning has characterised humans since the beginning of times and it’s a central question in every culture. And according to scientists, the search for meaning seems to be coded into our nature: our brains are larger and with this comes the ability to appreciate things beyond meeting our basic needs. • JOIN US! Need support? Sign-up to happiness.com and join a community that cares • And we can do more than appreciate the positive and joyful aspects of life. Trying to find meaning in negative experiences is also an ability that’s unique to humans, and that’s precisely what leads us to ask 'what's the point of life'. So how can we go about finding an answer? Let’s look at some practical ideas. What's the point of life? What if the purpose of life was finding a way to forget about the question 'what's the point of life?'! Maybe there’s no single thing that brings meaning per se, but the journey itself may be what helps us find purpose. And when we talk about the journey, we mean every aspect of it, from savouring the pleasant experiences to learning from mistakes. What's the point of life? Both meaning and purpose But for the journey to be meaningful, it must be the result of your own choices. Some people try to find meaning in wealth and fame, but this doesn’t have to be your story. As a living being, you’re in a unique position to decide what your purpose should be. We didn’t choose to be born, but we can choose how to live our lives and how to enjoy it. “What if the purpose of life was finding a way to forget about the question 'what's the point of life?'” To do that, it helps focusing on being consciously grounded in the present. Practising mindfulness creates a greater awareness of what it means to be alive. It helps your mind get more in touch with your emotions, reactions, and with your five senses. This type of clarity can open your eyes to things or experiences that help you to live your life with purpose. And mindfulness is not the only thing that can bring us clarity: there are some questions you can ask yourself to inspire your search for purpose. The 3 questions to help you find meaning The quest for meaning in life is so vast that the very thought of getting started can make you feel overwhelmed. Discovering what the point of life is is a lifelong journey and the steps and stages won’t be the same for everyone. However, there are some questions that you can put you on the right track to begin the journey of discovery. 1. What would you like to be remembered for? As humans, we tend to focus on the present and in the future. If you examine your ambitions, you may find that they’re limited to what you want to achieve this year, next year, on in the next decade. But have you thought about what you’d want to be remembered for? The answer to this question is usually related to career or spiritual goals rather than material ones, and thinking about it can help bring into focus the true essence of your being. 2. If you had super-powers, which problem would you solve first? There’s no shortage of serious problems in the world, and while it’s not always in our hands to solve them, thinking about which problem you’d give priority can hint at where your main concerns are. Once you know that, you can start looking for ways of doing your part. For example, if you find that you’d want to end world hunger, you may want to spend some time volunteering at a soup kitchen, or creating a community food garden. 3. What’s the one activity that makes you lose track of time? We all know that time drags on when we’re doing something we dislike. But the opposite is also true: there are some activities that make time fly because they get our full attention and bring us a sense of fulfilment. Losing track of time when doing something is known as finding your flow, and it's a clear sign that the activity taps into the things that make us come alive. So, spending more time in those activities can help you enjoy a more meaningful life. These questions are just the starting point: we’ve written an article about other ways to guide your search for meaning. What's the point of life? Being enough There’s no doubt that knowing what your purpose in life is can bring you closer to happiness. But if you’ve been trying to find out what your role in life is and have found no answer, don’t torture yourself. People’s experiences are different and not everyone will find the right answer at the same time. Gratitude: having enough can be enough shutterstock/WAYHOME studio What’s more, rushing into finding an answer will only put you under pressure and cause stress. Instead, try to see it from a different perspective: if you haven’t found an answer yet, simply “being” should be enough for now. Here are four suggestions on how to make that work: 1. Find abundance in having enough The powers of gratitude are proven by science. Make a list of things you already have in your life that make you feel blessed and grateful. Through mindfulness practice, you can find abundance in these things, and you may find that having enough is… enough! 2. Get comfortable with discomfort Life can feel like an uphill battle sometimes, at it's at those times when we might wonder what's the point of life or of going through hard times. However, discomfort in life is unavoidable and trying to find meaning in those experiences often leads to frustration. So, try to accept life for what it is and know that the hard times won't last for ever. “Discovering what the point of life is is a lifelong journey and the steps and stages won’t be the same for everyone.” 3. Let your intuition guide you Finding the meaning of life requires some analytical thinking, but sometimes logical reasoning doesn’t have all the answers. The key is to balance rational thoughts with intuition, which sometimes will contradict all logical arguments. Listen and trust that inner voice because it usually knows what’s good and right for you! 4. Forget what others think or are doing Some people seem to have their life’s purpose figured out, but comparing yourself to them isn’t helpful. The point of life is to live it in your own terms and at your own pace, and that should be the main focus. For the same reason, don’t let other people’s opinions affect you when it comes to what you find meaningful or how you go about finding your ambition, role or purpose. • JOIN US! Struggling with life? Sign-up to happiness.com and share your story • Conclusions So, what is the point of life? If there’s one thing that holds true for most of us, it's that the point of life is to live and experience things to the fullest, whatever that “fullest” means for you right now. Don’t rush your quest for meaning. Instead, make a point of finding joy in what you already have and try your best to feel grounded in the present. At some point, you’ll find the answer you’re looking for, and in the meantime, enjoy the journey! • Main image: shutterstock/Song_about_summer Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Finding it difficult to seek happiness from anything you do? Sonia Vadlamani explores the reasons why a loss of pleasure and motivation could signify an underlying mental health concern. Plus, she suggests seven ways to start rebuilding your happiness. Several of us find ourselves feeling down at some point in our lives, which could translate to feeling unmotivated, sad, stuck in life or at work, or just bored. However, if you keep thinking 'nothing makes me happy anymore' or 'what’s the point of life', as well as being unable to take delight in anything in your life, it could be that you are actually in a state of deep depression (perhaps without even realizing it). Anhedonia, or the inability to derive joy or happiness from anything around us, is a common indication of an underlying mental health issue such as depression, post traumatic stress disorder, or anxiety. While this feeling mimics boredom, it is also coupled with lack of motivation on one’s behalf to try anything, as nothing seems to matter to anymore, and there is no reward or pleasure to be derived from the action. In fact, it’s estimated that for those living with anhedonia, the regions in the brain that are usually associated with reward anticipation or interest are inflamed. This inflammation causes a dopamine imbalance in the brain, which makes one indifferent to the outcome of any event or situation. Why nothing makes you happy anymore It’s important to know that anhedonia – or the distinct sensation that nothing makes you happy – could also be a symptom of a situational depressive episode and need not be characterized as clinical depression. “It's something a lot of people experience, at least at one point in their lives,” states Dr Miranda Nadeau, a licensed psychologist based in Austin, Texas. RELATED: Feeling blue or clinically depressed? The 4 things you should look out for Anhedonia can be defeated with consistent effort, but first you may need to pinpoint the underlying causes, so that they can be remedied. There are several plausible reasons why you may not find anything interesting or enjoyable anymore: Feeling burned out and exhausted Feeling easily irritable, being sleep-deprived for a long duration and constant lethargy are some of the symptoms associated with burnout. The most usual form of this healthcare issue is seen in the form of workplace burnout, wherein people work through prolonged hours under immense stress, or carry out a wide range of responsibilities without sufficient breaks or rest. Loneliness While loneliness usually occurs in people who live alone or are isolated from others for extended period, a person can feel lonely even when they’re in a crowd. Loneliness as an emotional state takes root when we’re unable to form true connections with others around us. A constant sense of nothing making you happy within can signal loneliness, and the tendency to shut ourselves to the outside world might spiral us deeper into a depressive state, thus making it a vicious cycle. Loneliness and isolation can put us in a depressive state Boredom We often feel bored and uninspired because we’re wired to adapt to our circumstances – positive or negative – and after we get used to something, we tend to become indifferent to it and fail to derive any further 'happiness boost' from it. While this hedonic treadmill is a common phenomenon for most of us, sometimes this prolonged apathy or boredom towards life events can spiral towards substance abuse, addiction to unhelpful routines, self-harming behavior and even depression. • JOIN US! Sign-up to happiness.com and connect with our caring community • Depression If you’re feeling blue often and each new day begins with a sense of apprehension, or if activities that used to spark joy fail to evoke any emotion in you, this could indicate the start of a depressive episode. Depression is a complex condition, with both mental and physical symptoms. However, the good news is that once diagnosed, depression can be treated, making it possible for one to eventually lead a happy, fulfilling life. How to rebuild happiness: 7 steps While the inability to derive joy from anything is a reason for concern and should be addressed, it’s important to realize that others have been in the same shoes before you and have found their way to happiness once again. So, if you constantly think to yourself 'nothing makes me happy anymore', here are some ideas to help you gradually change this state of mind and feel happier. 1. Get sufficient rest Research reveals a strong link between troubled sleeping and depression, with sleeping disorders present in nearly 75 per cent of adults diagnosed with depression. Sleep disturbances can raise stress levels and anxiety, impacting one’s overall quality of life. “If you keep thinking to yourself 'nothing makes me happy anymore' or 'what’s the point of life', it could be that you are actually in a deep depression.” Indeed, following good sleep hygiene is essential for ensuring good overall health. Some effective sleep hacks include limiting your overall screen-time and consciously shutting all screens at least an hour before bed. Getting good-quality sleep on a regular basis is one of the surest ways to feel better again, according to research. 2. Consult a physician A persistent feeling that nothing makes you happy could also arise from an underlying medical condition or a sudden shift in your usual lifestyle. For example, those who spend more time indoors are likely to be deficient in vitamin D, which is associated with poor mood, depression and other mental disorders. Eating disorders and health conditions like hypoactive thyroid or iron deficiency can result in depressive symptoms and heightened anxiety as well. Talking to your doctor and getting the bloodwork and appropriate tests done can help eliminate these potential underlying conditions that could cause unhappiness. 3. Take care of your body Our food choices affect our mood and health, as revealed from the discovery of the gut-brain axis. Include lots of good mood foods like green vegetables, seeds and nuts, lean meats and prebiotics to improve your mental health and boost your happiness levels. Dehydration is also responsible for blocking the production of serotonin, potentially impairing our ability to think clearly and make us feel tired all the time, and hence it’s important to stay hydrated through the day. Furthermore, engaging in physical activity will also help combat that 'nothing makes me happy' feeling by releasing endorphins, a type of 'happiness hormone' which can boost our stress management abilities. Exercise releases happiness-boosting endorphins shutterstock/Rido In fact, regular exercise can change our brain, in addition to improving heart health and preventing diseases like diabetes. If you can’t access the gym, try mindful running or restorative yoga to introduce the element of mindfulness and relaxation to your daily exercise routine. Starting slow, setting small and realistic goals and being consistent can create noticeable improvements in the way you feel. 4. Re-configure what happiness means to you At this point, you may be ready to take a deeper glance into what elicits happiness for you and adding activities which may uplift your mood. When I find myself feeling unhappy, I look around for clues as to what makes me happy in the first place, and whether I’ve been doing enough lately to achieve or reinstate that feeling. If there are obstacles that prevent you from picking up activities you once used to enjoy, try inculcating new activities that may interest you and help you feel less bored with life. While traveling to explore various cuisines and fitness pursuits are activities that generally keep me upbeat, I found it was connecting with nature in the form of gardening – even in a limited apartment space – that helped keep my spirits up through the stress and anguish I experienced around the COVID-19 pandemic. Look for ways to incorporate awe in your life. Including 'expressive therapy', or creative expression in the form of making art, music, dance, writing or creative dialog can improve our ability to cope with emotional issues, while helping us form meaningful relationships with others with similar interests. 5. Meditate regularly A daily meditation routine and focusing on your breathwork can help to boost happiness levels, albeit over time and with steady practice. There are several types of meditation you could choose from, depending on the skills you wish to learn from meditation and convenience. For example, gratitude meditation could help you bring attention to the good things in your life, enabling you to release negativity. Deep sleep meditation can improve your sleep quality and help you feel well-rested, rejuvenated, and ready to brave the next day with improved energy levels. 6. Reach out and connect “Oftentimes people experience anhedonia and other symptoms of depression when they feel their social connections are weak,” states Dr Nadeau. Research suggests that forming meaningful social connections can help you find your way back to happiness. Utilizing the power of friendships and positive communication is important for our overall life-satisfaction and well-being. “Research suggests that forming meaningful social connections can help you find your way back to happiness.” While intimate connections and close ties are important, even weak ties can impact us positively by providing stimulation and a fresh perspective, as researcher Karen Fingerman points out. Connecting with random strangers during the pandemic can help you and others feel less lonely and isolated, making the world around feel like a better place. 7. Talk to a mental health professional If none of these ideas are making you feel better and happier, it’s okay to seek professional help when you’re feeling defeated by life. Reaching out and talking to a specialist can help you take stock of your situation and pinpoint the inherent concerns that require addressing or cognitive reframing. Be it dealing with rejection or hurt, working on self-acceptance, or the need to devise work life balance, a therapist can help you process and resolve the underlying issues when you’ve had that 'nothing makes me happy' feeling for a prolonged period. Takeaway: nothing makes me happy Most of us tend to lose interest in things we used to enjoy at some point in our lives. However, anhedonia takes this inability to enjoy to its furthest limits, wherein one can’t seem to take delight in anything that once used to spark joy within them, such as food, conversations, music, travel, etc. If you find that nothing make you happy anymore, start by identifying and addressing the plausible underlying causes. Focus on getting your physical and mental health back on track and indulging in activities that you previously enjoyed or rejuvenate you now. Try to incorporate one or more happy habits into your routine to gradually combat your 'nothing makes me happy anymore' feeling. However, seeking professional help is essential if you’re struggling to reconnect with happiness on your own. • Main image: shutterstock/fizkes If you're experiencing any of the signs of depression make sure to reach out to your local mental health services. In the US, you can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for free and confidential support. Use Lifeline Chat or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). In the UK, call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected] for a reply within 24 hours. You can also text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text “YM” if you are under 19. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Kindness | Motivation | Learning | Altruism Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Can creating targeted gratitude affirmations boost our well-being? Sonia Vadlamani explores the science behind practising gratitude in the form of positive affirmations and offers insight on how to do it yourself. “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions.”, stated Zig Ziglar, the renowned motivation speaker. Several religions and spiritual gurus advocate gratitude as the ‘social glue’ that binds people and communities together for greater good. However, there is more to gratitude than merely being a cultural construct – researchers agree that one’s ability to be grateful is strongly associated with their physical and psychological health, happiness, and overall life satisfaction levels. What is gratitude? Put simply, gratitude refers to taking the time to reflect on and appreciate all positive aspects of your life. While it also includes social niceties like thanking others or random acts of kindness, gratitude entails expressing appreciation towards ourselves as well as other positive developments and experiences around us. Numerous studies have reinforced the importance of gratitude for our physical and mental well-being, as well as our happiness and overall life satisfaction levels. However, researchers consider gratitude to be a fundamental resource, especially because it can be incorporated with ease in our daily schedule without much fuss in the form of positive affirmations, journaling or meditation. How does gratitude work? To begin with, gratitude can help us overcome the ‘hedonic treadmill’, or the human tendency to become desensitized towards positive things that happen to us over time. For example, dreaming about getting a promotion at work, driving a snazzy sports car, owning a sprawling bungalow, etc. must have made you happier than actually attaining these things, since we are conditioned to return to our baseline contentment quickly after a sharp surge in happiness levels. Practise gratitude affirmations in front of a mirror shutterstock/fizkes Practising gratitude may help slow down hedonic adaptation, thus enabling us to maximize our happiness for all the noticeable milestones as well as the simplest pleasures in life. Furthermore, gratitude can help us overcome negativity bias, or the human tendency to focus more on the negative outcomes and experiences, allowing us to gradually develop a more optimistic point of view. Gratitude can also regulate our mood, improve health and even boost our productivity levels. Moreover, being grateful creates a lasting impact on the human brain, as per a study conducted by Joshua Brown et al at University of California. Using an fMRI scanner to measure the brain activity of participants who wrote gratitude letters, researchers noticed that those who practised gratitude were more sensitive towards recognizing acts of gratitude, which may contribute towards improved mental health in the longer run. Gratitude and the science behind positive affirmations While they may seem like products of “wishful thinking” at the outset, gratitude affirmations are positive statements that can create a powerful impact on our mind and outlook. As humans, we tend to subconsciously ingrain negative thought patterns and self-limiting beliefs which hamper our growth and happiness. Positive affirmations are essentially messages to your subconscious, meant to challenge your habitual ways of thinking and behaving. A review study by DK Sherman et al revealed that positive self-affirmations can considerably broaden an individual’s overall perspective. Additionally, repeating these positive statements over a period of time helps reinforce new neural pathways in a process called cognitive restructuring, which enables the mind to actually rely on these statements in stressful times, making it easier to cope with the duress. “While they may seem like products of 'wishful thinking' at the outset, affirmations are positive statements that can create a powerful impact on our mind and outlook.” Indeed, positive affirmations can help us lead more authentic lives by encouraging us to focus on areas which hold greater personal value for us, instead of seeking validation from others. Adding an element of gratitude to these self-affirmations can magnify positive emotions further, enabling us to cherish the present more and invite happiness and abundance freely into our lives. 23 gratitude affirmations you can try Gratitude affirmations are aimed at limiting self-sabotaging thoughts through conscious repetition and replacing negative beliefs with constructive statements or resolutions. You can choose to include specific areas in your life, like building confidence, financial freedom, body positivity etc. and design affirmations centered on bringing improvements in these areas. Here are some examples of gratitude affirmations you can repeat: Affirmations for daily gratitude I’m grateful for my secure and safe home. I’m thankful for access to clean, hygienic water and nourishing food. I’m grateful for the wonder that my body is, all that it accomplishes and is capable of. I appreciate the beauty of nature that surrounds me, and my ability to pause and savor it. Gratitude affirmations for love and relationships I’m grateful for the love and affection I receive from my loved ones, which I try to reciprocate to the best of my ability. I’m thankful for nurturing loving and supportive friendships, and I try to support my friends to the best of my ability. I appreciate the unconditional love my pets have for me, and how they enrich my life with their warmth and loyalty. I’m deserving of cultivating long-long-term connections. I’m thankful for attracting healthy relationships in my life. Positive affirmations can help you focus on self-improvement Gratitude affirmations for manifesting success While my thoughts may vary through the day, my grateful spirit is reflected in every decision I make and each action I undertake. I realize that learning is a constant process, and I’m thankful for the lessons I learn every day. By appreciating everything I have and all that is working in my favor, I tap into abundance and invite great opportunities into my life. I believe I am the creator of my success and happiness. I’m thankful for all I have achieved thus far and grateful for the ability to manifest my goals for the future. I’m grateful for the support and dedication by my teammates or employees to achieve our collective goals and milestones. Gratitude affirmations for confidence and positive outlook I’m thankful for the person I am today, and the person I am constantly evolving into during this journey of perpetual self-growth. I’m positive that the Universe is looking out for me and grateful that it’s sending out the best possible outcomes my way. I understand and appreciate that I can achieve everything I set my mind and heart to, provided I go in fully prepared to put in the hard work required to achieve it. I realize that each obstacle in my journey thus far has been an opportunity for learning and developing resilience, and I’m grateful for these life lessons. Gratitude affirmations for financial freedom I’m perpetually amazed by and grateful for how abundant my life already is. I’m thankful for a positive cashflow, and I’m inviting abundance every day with my focused thoughts and consistent actions. I enjoy a constructive relationship with money and I’m grateful for the wisdom to spend my money wisely. I surrender any resistance I may have towards attracting money. I’m thankful for my ability to create the financial freedom I deem myself worthy of. How to practise gratitude affirmations Fortunately, gratitude affirmations are simple to define and easy to implement as well. The key to making your affirmations more efficient involves identifying your core values or problem areas that you wish to target. Positive affirmations can help you focus better, find your flow state, help you combat stress and anxiety – the possibilities are endless. A great way to make your affirmations more effective is to repeat them out loud as you face the mirror, also known as ‘mirror work’. “Looking at yourself in the mirror will make you aware about your intentions and reflect your feelings, strengthening your connection with the affirmations”, advocates Louise Hay, healer and author of bestselling book Mirror Work: 21 Days to Heal Your Life. “Positive affirmations can help you focus better, find your flow state, help you combat stress and anxiety – the possibilities are endless.” Maintaining a gratitude journal is another way to strengthen your affirmations, as writing about gratitude can aid improved emotional regulation and better adherence to goal-setting. Start by sparing 15 minutes of your time every day to jot down at least 5 gratitude affirmations in each area you wish to focus on. It is important to set self-doubt and judgment aside while you do this – consider this to be an honest reflection of your feelings for the day. Gratitude meditation is another reliable medium to supercharge your affirmations. Indeed, research points out that focusing on one’s blessings and positive events in life can improve their well-being. Getting started with gratitude meditation routine is easy. Choose a convenient time (preferably early morning or before bedtime) and dedicate at least 10 minutes of your time to focus on your chosen gratitude affirmations. Takeaway: gratitude affirmations Gratitude is a powerful emotion – indeed, developing an attitude of gratitude can revolutionize your overall well-being and happiness levels. It's important to be consistent and patient with whichever practice you’ve chosen to proceed with, as the benefits of gratitude affirmations can take a while to become apparent. Thankfully, building your ‘gratitude muscle’ is an enjoyable and free process, and the rewards you reap will make it worth the effort. • Main image: shutterstock/krackenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Motivation | Altruism | Lightwork Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Friendships make us happier and healthier, so research says. However, friendships that are unfulfilling or fading can have the opposite effect. Sonia Vadlamani identifies seven signs that someone doesn’t want to be your friend and offers advice on how to handle the situation. Friendships are a unique form of relationship in several ways. For starters, we enter them of our own accord, unlike family relationships. Friendships also lack the formal structures that are typically present in other relationships, like marriage and familial bonds. What’s more, research suggests that friendships form the core of one’s happiness levels and well-being. In fact, strong social relationships matter more to us as we age, which is why it’s important for us to form meaningful connections that make us happy. According to the authors of the still-ongoing Grant Study, a study which aims to monitor the happiness levels and well-being of 1,600 Harvard undergraduates through their entire lives, “the capacity to love and be loved was the single strength most clearly associated with subjective well-being at age 80.” Yet, it’s a known fact that friendships change as we grow older. In the current COVID-struck world – where most of us are picking up the social connections from their pre-pandemic lives – some may slowly realize that their friendships probably aren’t the same as they once were. On the other hand, we may have formed new connections and friendships during these difficult times. However, not all acquaintances or connections can be transformed into fulfilling, lasting friendships. Sometimes you may want to re-kindle a friendship from your distant past, hoping for a happy reunion despite spotting some warning signs that your friend doesn’t care about you. Indeed, given that we are largely social creatures, your excitement towards forging a friendship may cause you to overlook some of the signs someone doesn’t actually want to be your friend. 7 signs your friend doesn’t care about you Friendship is a two-way street, and it’s not healthy to force it upon someone who clearly isn’t interested in being buddies with you. So, if you’re concerned that a friend of yours appears disinterested in your relationship or is acting up, here are seven pointers to help you differentiate true friends from mere acquaintances. 1. They don’t really know you anymore One of the easiest signs that your friend doesn’t care about you anymore is when you feel that they don’t really know or understand you. It’s possible that with time you may have simply grown apart, and that your interests now vary. However, if your friend doesn’t make an effort to keep up with your likes and preferences, and seems indifferent to your opinions and feelings, it could signify that they don’t truly value your friendship. Not feeling included is a sign of a problem friendship shutterstock/fizkes 2. They avoid meeting or keep cancelling plans It cannot be denied that communication and consistency form the bedrock for any fulfilling and reliable friendship. Which is why a steady lack of interest in catching up or a refusal to make plans with you can be considered as signs that someone doesn’t want to be your friend. RELATED: The 8 types of friend we all need We all have busy lives, but if you notice that you're continually the first one to touch base and attempt making plans with someone, or that they doesn’t seem enthusiastic about meeting you, it could be that they are no longer interested in being friends with you and are unable to talk to you about their feelings. 3. You aren’t included in their social lives One of the most obvious signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend is when they leave you out of their plans to hang out or attend an event, even when your other friends may have been invited. When confronted, they may offer a vague excuse or inadequate reasoning for why they left you out, leaving you even more puzzled each time. While this can sound like a common movie trope, it is especially hurtful and can sometimes make you question your friendship. “A steady lack of interest in catching up or a refusal to make plans with you can be considered as signs that someone doesn’t want to be your friend.” With social media becoming an integral part of our lives, a reasonable way to gauge the true state of your friendship could be to observe your friend’s social media feed. You may find that they do not post about you or tag you, even if you were attending the same event and were present in the picture they posted. Indeed, not everyone uses social media in the same manner and to the same degree, and thus social media shunning is not a foolproof way to gauge your friendship with someone. However, excluding you repeatedly from their socializing plans and ignoring you on social media whilst they’re active on it are reliable signs your friend doesn’t really care about you. 4. They seem distant and avoidant Despite our hectic schedules and busy lives, we usually make time to catch up with the people we truly care about. After all, healthy communication and timely, mutually enriching interactions are key to sustaining friendships. One of the warning signs your friend doesn’t care about you can be their remote behavior and tendency to be preoccupied when you’re having a conversation. Paying attention to the non-verbal cues can sometimes offer a clearer picture too. For instance, if someone is always playing with their phone or looking off into the distance rather than listening to you, they may be trying to avoid you. Indeed, if you find that your friend doesn’t pay attention to you or responds with unenthusiastic answers when you’re trying to make a conversation, it could be a sign that your relationship may have already faded. Sign of the times: using a phone over friendship 5. They always place the blame on you While it can’t be denied that every relationship can face minor stumbles at some point, good friends often work together to clear misunderstandings and overcome the obstacles that stand in their way. However, holding you responsible for everything that ever went wrong, and never acknowledging their mistakes despite clear evidence of their wrongdoing could be clear signs that person doesn’t want to be your friend any longer. RELATED: Are you being used? 12 signs to look out for 6. They’re never around in difficult times True friends prove to be reliable during hardships and support each other through thick and thin to the best of their ability. So, being too busy, citing excuses, or flaking out on you every time you need help or support is one of the unmistakable signs your friend doesn’t truly care about you. “One sign your friend doesn’t care about you is if they respond negatively to news about your success or accomplishments, or never seem excited for your growth.” This is often compounded by the fact that this fair-weather friend does often touch base with you to seek help or ask a favor but is unapproachable when you’re in dire straits. While you may often end up feeling hurt or bothered by this opportunistic behavior, it could be seen as a clear sign someone doesn’t want to be your friend. 7. They never seem happy for you One of the definite signs your friend doesn’t care about you is if they mostly respond negatively to news about your success or accomplishments, or never seem excited for your growth. Real friendships are based on mutual admiration, support and encouragement. Evidently, the lack of support and constant negativity coming your way could be surefire signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend. What to do when you see signs someone doesn't want to be your friend Given the voluntary nature of friendship, it often gets subjected to uncertainties of life in a way that other relationships don’t. Here are some ways to deal with indications that a friendship is now drawing to a close. Resist the temptation to force a friendship Sometimes, we must just accept that a new friendship isn’t meant to blossom, or that it may be the time to end a friendship. This is especially true if the other person isn’t reciprocating your interest or has made it clear that they are not interested in socializing with you. Long-lasting friendships require mutual and deliberate efforts, and forcing a friendship despite signs your friend doesn’t care about you can possibly leave you upset and heartbroken. Try changing your perspective about rejection Social rejection may cause you to question your self-worth and may even deter your confidence. However, try changing your perspective towards rejection as daring to step out of your comfort zone and taking a worthy risk. Instead of viewing the rejection as failure and questioning your likability, embrace this as a situation where you just didn’t ‘click’ with the friend, and save your precious energy by ably interpreting the signs your friend doesn’t care about you. Focus on making new connections Instead of getting trapped in a vulnerability hangover over your rejection, practice letting go gracefully. This will allow you to focus on making more rewarding connections with like-minded individuals who are truly interested in your friendship. Takeaway: signs your friend doesn’t care about you The power of friendship is real and our buddies play an important role in our happiness and well-being, which is why we need to be mindful when touching base with friends from the past or trying to forge new friendships. Just as you can’t possibly be good friends with everyone, it can be unfair on your behalf to impose your friendship, despite signs your friend doesn’t seem to really care about you. Try practicing acceptance and consider this as an opportunity to express gratitude for the friends in your life who will always be by your side through good times and rough tides. In the meantime, keep your chin up and do not let the disappointment prevent you from finding your tribe. • Main image: shutterstock/Prostock-studio Have you ever had to end a friendship because it was clear your friend didn't care about you anymore or had lost interest? Perhaps you've had a one-sided friendship and had to make changes and now have an ex-best friend! Let us know your thoughts below and in our friendship forum. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Empathy | Deep listening | Loneliness Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

What is gratitude meditation and how do you practise it? Sonia Vadlamani answers these questions plus explains five great benefits it brings. Plus, discover three great gratitude meditation YouTube videos to get you started. Do you want to reap more from your life – whether in the form of happiness, enriched relationships, enhanced sense of well-being or increased efficiency? Do you wish to amplify your existence and make life more meaningful, instead of feeling like you barely exist amidst the chaos of daily life? Gratitude meditation can help you achieve these things, and it's also one of the simplest meditation types you can practise. What is gratitude? Derived from the Latin word gratus, gratitude is the ability to feel thankful and show appreciation for all things good in your life. Have you ever observed how you feel a spur-of-the-moment gratefulness when someone does something kind for you, or surprised you with a lovely gesture or gift? The emotion you felt was that of gratitude, and studies show that practising thankfulness every day can help change your life for the better. In fact, scientific studies have found that gratitude can be the ‘social glue’ that promotes positive outlook, strengthens relationships, and help us to become better, happier human beings. What is gratitude meditation exactly? Gratitude meditation, as indicated by the name, is a kind of meditation centered on feeling grateful. While there are many other styles of meditations out there, gratitude meditation is one of the easiest you can practice anywhere, even in the midst of a hectic work schedule. What's more, it's also one of the most rewarding styles of meditation. JOIN US! Discover more about meditation at happiness.com. Belong to a community that cares Gratitude meditation focuses on bearing in mind various things you're thankful for in life and letting that feeling of appreciation take a stronghold inside yourself. For example, it could be appreciating family members who are always there for you, friends who always cheer you up, or colleagues who share the workload with you so you don’t have to do overtime. Great to be grateful: gratitude meditation has many benefits Additionally, you don't always have to meditate on a noticeable act – gratitude meditation also enables you to take pleasure in the simple things in life you're grateful for like the ability to see, hear, taste and walk, or something as intangible as the important lesson you learnt from a difficult phase you were going through at some point in your life. The origins of gratitude meditation Research suggests that the foundations of gratitude were inspired from religion. Mindfulness and meditation expert Jack Kornfield is quoted as saying: “Buddhist monks begin their day with chants of gratitude for their blessed lives. Meanwhile, Martin Luther described gratitude as the “basic Christian attitude”. Indeed, millions of Christians celebrate Thanksgiving every year to count their blessings and express their appreciation for all they have. “Gratitude meditation also enables you to take pleasure in the simple things in life, like the ability to see, hear, taste and walk.” Meanwhile, Hinduism advocates that “one with an attitude of gratitude is closest to achieving Moksh, or freedom from karmic life-cycles,”, states Uma Mysorekar, M.D. Do you have to be religious to practice gratitude? Of course not. Experts agree that gratitude is not limited to religious pursuits – you can be thankful for the gifts of life without being religious. Benefits of gratitude meditation There are many advantages to incorporating a gratitude meditation practice into your life. Here are five of the most important: 1. Greater sense of happiness Studies have shown that practising gratitude can consistently and effectively make you happier. Counting your blessings can make you feel more optimistic and help you develop and maintain a positive attitude throughout the day. Indeed, a study revealed that gratitude could be the most-needed positive intervention that can prevent depressive thoughts and help individuals lead a happier, content life. 2. Improved mental health Could you ever have guessed that gratitude meditation can also rewire your brain to be better equipped to deal with adversity or difficult phases of life? Practising gratitude meditation sensitizes the brain towards helpful acts and appreciable things in life, thus enabling us to break free from the endless loop of worries, rumination, fears and insecurities. 3. Stronger personal relationships Practising gratitude meditation has even been show to protect marriage and strengthen friendships. Expressing your thanks for friends, colleagues and spouse can make them feel appreciated and valued, reinforcing your bond with them and preventing miscommunication or conflict. 4. Better physical health Feeling grateful for good things in your life can make a difference in your outlook towards life, enabling you to feel better, live to the fullest and even sleep better. Indeed, grateful people are more likely to experience heightened state of mind, eat healthily, exercise more often and live longer. 5. Increased social circle Ever noticed how some people make friends effortlessly and instantly? Grateful individuals can trust more easily, express their appreciation in more straightforward fashion, and make friends with strangers with better ease. A 2014 study from the University of New South Wales (UNSW) Australia was the first to show that for thanking a new acquaintance for their help meant they were more likely to seek an ongoing social relationship with you. “Saying thank you provides a valuable signal that you're someone with whom a high quality relationship could be formed,” said UNSW psychologist Dr Lisa Williams, who co-conducted the research. Gratitude meditation: how to do it Great news: kickstarting a gratitude meditation routine is simple! All you need is a quiet corner and minimal time (10-20 minutes on average, depending on the technique you choose). “Gratitude meditation is one of the easiest you can practice anywhere, even in the midst of a hectic work schedule.” You could even start small, and simply be thankful for the basic amenities and privileges you have in life. Several experts (and even celebrities like Oprah) suggest that maintaining a gratitude journal to jot down all the things, actions, people etc you’re grateful for, can transform your outlook towards life tremendously. Here are three YouTube videos to inspire you to get your gratitude meditation routine up and running: The Mindful Movement: 10-Minute Morning Meditation for Gratitude This meditation can form a part of your morning ritual, preparing you to start the day on a more positive note. Ever feel trampled under the weight of senseless material pursuits, or dissatisfied by what you have achieved so far? Practising gratitude daily using this technique will open your eyes to the fact that what you have is enough, and that you are perfect. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Mary Kate: Gratitude Meditation To Shift Your Reality Using the powerful tool of Law of Attraction, this gratitude meditation technique shows you how to attract miracles in your life. Appreciating the smallest gestures and acts of kindness and being thankful for everything you have will help you manifest happiness and abundance every single day. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Dan Lok: 15-Minute Guided Gratitude Meditation for Abundance & Miracles Renowned business magnate and educator Dan Lok shows how to energize your day and attract abundance by being grateful for everything you have using a simple yet effective visualization technique. You begin by relaxing and asking yourself what and who all you're grateful for, and if there are things you're taking for granted. This meditation is very easy, and helps you develop more compassion, empathy and appreciation for everything good. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Round-up: gratitude meditation In conclusion, the benefits of gratitude meditation are many. Gratitude is not only a humble acknowledgment of how blessed our life is, but also a doorway for attracting abundance, happiness and prosperity our way. What's more, incorporating gratitude into our daily lives is very easy and hardly requires any additional effort. Are you getting started today? ● Main image: shutterstock/ WAYHOME Studio Liked this? Then check out Top 5 benefits of gratitude practice happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Mental health | Compassion | Empathy Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

It’s a fact; the art of practising gratitude can make you happier, healthier and improve your personal relationships. Victoria Haynes looks at the many benefits, and finds some great ways to cultivate the gratitude attitude. Taking the time to be grateful makes a real difference to your daily life. I try to practise the attitude of gratitude as often as possible, and every time I do, I get a little happiness boost. I’m not talking about grand gestures, either; simply thanking someone for holding a door or giving flowers to show my appreciation are all it takes. Knowing I’ve made someone feel good, and seeing their reaction has the power to take my day to the next level. Expressing gratitude in times of crisis is especially important. The Covid-19 pandemic has left people around the globe feeling anxious and hopeless, but if you look closely enough, pockets of gratitude have been popping up everywhere. Around the world hard-working frontline staff have been celebrated with rounds of applause while caring community members have sacrificed time to create much-needed PPE for teams that have been saving lives and caring for the sick. Gratitude has helped to unite communities and give hope where it seemed like there has been none. In fact, as humans, we’re programmed to focus on the negative aspects of life, so it’s not always easy to find things to be grateful for. At the end of a bad day, it can seem impossible to sit down and feel thankful – which is why we need to change our thinking. Choosing to focus on the positives and enjoy the little things, even when times are tough, is the key to cultivating a long-lasting attitude of gratitude. Attitude of gratitude: the benefits There are many scientifically-proven benefits to practising gratitude regularly. From obvious things, such as increased happiness and better relationships, to more surprising positives such as improved sleep patterns, here’s our top six reasons to harness the gratitude attitude. 1. Increased personal happiness Being thankful makes you feel great, and it’s an easy way to get a natural high and reduce negative emotions. It’s not just about you, though; gratitude is a beautiful two-way transaction. Expressing and receiving thanks encourages our brains to release happiness hormones such as dopamine and serotonin, giving us a sudden burst of joy. Journaling for gratitude shutterstock/WAYHOME studio And it’s more than just speculation. In 2009 scientists conducted a study at the National Institute of Health (NIH) into the effects of gratitude on brain activity, and the results were overwhelmingly positive. Subjects showed increased activity in the hypothalamus – the area which releases those feel-good chemicals – when they practised gratitude. Indeed, it’s scientifically proven that an attitude of gratitude has the power to rewire your brain. 2. Deeper relationships As well as making you feel good, adopting a gratitude attitude can build and strengthen relationships with others. It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking those close to you for granted, so remembering to thank your nearest and dearest can do wonders for your relationships. It works in two ways; remembering to be grateful makes us more appreciative of our partners, family and friends, while at the same time creating a cycle of gratitude. The more likely we are to express our thanks, the more likely we are to receive it. “Choosing to focus on the positives and enjoy the little things, even when times are tough, is the key to cultivating a long-lasting attitude of gratitude.” This isn’t just limited to loved ones, either – expressing gratitude in the workplace can lead to better communication and productivity. Research carried out at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania found that fund-raisers who had been thanked for their efforts made 50 per cent more fund-raising calls than those that hadn’t. 3. Improved patience and decision making You might not naturally link the two together, but striving to be a grateful person is a great way to improve your patience and decision making levels as well. We live in an age where we’re encouraged to aim for more of everything; bigger houses, more holidays, a better paid job. Many people want it all and they want it now! Studies have shown that people who happen to be more grateful, also tend to be less impatient and make better decisions. The thinking is that the more able you are to see the positives in your current situation, the less likely you are to crave new short-term gratification. 4. Boosted resilience Being grateful changes your entire outlook on life. It gives you the ability to thrive under pressure, make the best of difficult situations and allows you to find the good in an otherwise terrible day. With patience, you can train your brain to focus on the positives rather than the negatives, giving you the confidence to deal with any kind of adversity. Researchers at Georgia Southern University have proven the theory. They took two groups of people, and asked only one of them to perform a gratitude-based exercise. The group who were assigned the gratitude task reported to have experienced more resilience and coping skills during the experience than the group who hadn’t participated. 5. Reduced anxiety and depression If gratitude can make you happier, it stands to reason it can have a positive impact on mental health problems. If you're living with anxiety or depression, it’s possible that adopting an attitude of gratitude and focusing on the positives could play a vital role in recovery. Aside from encouraging the production of both dopamine and serotonin, gratitude practice reduces the production of stress hormones. In 1998 McCraty et al conducted an experiment into emotional self-management and stress. Their findings showed that there was a 23 per cent reduction of cortisol – a stress hormone – in the experimental group, who had been instructed to take part in an appreciation exercise. Express thanks with gifts or letters shutterstock/StudioByTheSea Another study discovered that the act of gratitude writing was incredibly beneficial to mental health. Researchers asked participants to either write letters of gratitude, note down their most negative experiences, or write nothing. They found that the group who took part in writing gratitude letters reported better mental health several weeks after the study had been completed. 6. Better physical health It’s been scientifically proven that people who practice expressing gratitude regularly also enjoy better physical health. A gratitude attitude is the secret to enjoying less pain, better sleep, less stress and more energy. People who focus on the positives in life tend to be more relaxed and are far happier than those who don’t. “If you're living with anxiety or depression, it's possible that adopting an attitude of gratitude and focusing on the positives could play a vital role in recovery.” Sounds too good to be true, right? Then let the science convince you. In 2003 researchers Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough carried out an investigation into whether gratitude had a positive effect on daily life and well-being. The students who took part and kept a gratitude journal for two weeks went on to report less headaches and other physical ailments than the group who were asked to write about negative events. How to cultivate the gratitude attitude Harnessing an attitude of gratitude doesn’t have to be difficult. At first, it might seem tricky to retrain your brain to look for the positives rather than allow it to focus on the negatives, but the more you practice, the more obvious it will become. Try some of the following methods: Gratitude journals Keeping a gratitude journal doesn’t mean you have to write pages and pages every day. It could be as simple as starting the day by noting down things you’re looking forward to, or ending it by recording a few positive events that happened. The aim is to simply lead your brain away from any negatives. Expressing thanks to family and friends It might sound basic, but just the act of saying thank you to your closest family and friends is a great place to begin on your quest for a gratitude attitude. We often forget to express gratitude for the everyday things – so start now! Writing letters Thankful for something? Write someone a letter and tell them how grateful they are, and how much of an impact they’ve had on your life. Meditating on gratitude If you already practice meditation, you’re halfway there. Meditating on gratitude is the art of sitting quietly and concentrating on all the things you’re thankful for. The gratitude attitude: conclusions It’s scientifically proven that gratitude has the power to change your life. Increased health and happiness, better interpersonal relationships and a boost to your brain power – what could be better? Grab that notebook and start your gratitude journal today. ● If you're interested in learning more about cultivating a more grateful approach to life, consider enroling in our 10-day online course, Mastering the Attitude of Gratitude. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Gratitude | Acceptance | Letting go | Journaling Written by Victoria Haynes Victoria Haynes is a freelance writer from the South Coast of the UK, who loves nothing more than a strong cup of tea, a good novel and the great outdoors.

A complex mystic ritual, a secret order, or a simple yet powerful universal phenomenon? Sonia Vadlamani explains how the law of manifestation works and suggests eight techniques that you can incorporate into your life. Oprah Winfrey likes to credit her success in life to a keen understanding of the law of attraction. And even centuries ago Plato seemed to know it too when he observed, “like attracts like”. If understood and applied correctly, the law of attraction and associated manifestation techniques could potentially change our worldview and bring about a positive shift in our lives. And although there is limited science to back up the suggestion that the law of attraction works, there are some studies out there that suggest just that. Law of Attraction aka Law of Manifestation The law of attraction states that we attract events and situations of similar frequency as our feelings, thoughts and beliefs. Be it consciously or without our knowledge, we constantly broadcast a vibrational energy that determines the circumstances, experiences and people we attract or repel. Also known as the law of manifestation, this tenet places emphasizes on the power that our thoughts can have over the outcomes or events in our lives. • SHARE IDEAS! Sign-up and discuss manifestation techniques in our forum • Manifestation works along a similar ideology: what you focus on becomes your reality. However, focusing your thoughts only isn’t enough to manifest your dreams – aside from the hard work involved it requires positive thinking and action on your behalf as well. The law of manifestation is based on the principle that your thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions can transform into physical reality through focus and supportive action. 8 manifestation techniques to attract what you want Manifestation techniques are essentially practices or daily rituals which can help you achieve your dreams and goals. It’s possible that your subconscious mind may try to resist these practices at first but overcoming this and persisting with an open heart and mind is key to successful manifestation. 1. Sensory visualization The legendary heavyweight boxing champion Muhammed Ali credited visualization techniques for enhancing his performance in the ring. It can also prove to be a worthy exercise for those who lack a vivid imagination or have a difficult time picturing their dream life to be able to manifest it. Instead of using only one or part of your senses, this manifestation technique encourages you to experience your dream or vision by immersing all your senses. For example, if your dream is to build a fitter and stronger physique, start by picturing the day you achieve your goals. Imagine the way you’d look and feel, your improved health, your ability to pick up heavier objects with great ease, and your improved relationship with food. Indeed, involving all your senses in this manner offers a more wholesome visualization experience, enabling you to channel the law of manifestation more effectively. 2. Vision boards Also known as dream boarding, this manifestation technique is favoured for its simplicity and effectiveness. It involves curating images and inspirational quotes that resonate with your vision, to be displayed on a wall or a board, in a prominent place where you will see them every day. Dream boarding is a popular manifestation technique shutterstock/Dasha Petrenko There is some evidence that vision boards work. A survey conducted by TD Bank on 1,100 individuals and 500 small business owners revealed that one in five business owners used a vision board to create their business plans. Furthermore, 76 per cent of those had already achieved what they had envisioned using the dream board they originally created. This survey backs up the idea that the process of finding the pictures and words that resonate with your goals can help in strengthening your commitment towards fulfilling them. Also, looking at the board each day serves as a constant reminder of your vision, inspiring you to put in the effort towards making the dream a reality with the help of an actionable plan. 3. Eliminate self-limiting beliefs A 2008 study published in Journal of Experimental Social Psychology revealed the role of belief perseverance in the way individuals continue to think of themselves and others, bolstered by their initial impressions. The study concludes that it’s difficult to shake off one’s initial set of opinions and beliefs, even when the underlying assumptions are proven false. The implications are serious, considering our brain makes most decisions based on the subconscious beliefs and thought patterns we ingrain over several years. “The law of manifestation is based on the principle that your thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions can transform into physical reality through focus and supportive action.” A conscious belief assessment can be a reliable manifestation technique to reflect on your subconscious belief patterns, and to check if any of these thoughts contradict or undermine your ability to achieve what you’re trying to manifest. To prevent limiting thoughts from hampering your manifestation process, practise this daily along with supportive affirmations that reinforce your confidence. 4. Multi-perspective visualization In addition to visualizing your dreams and goals from a first-person perspective, you can introduce a third-person perspective to strengthen your manifestations: try to see yourself from an ‘outsider’s point of view’. Introducing multiple ‘vantage points’ or perspectives while visualizing your goals will help you review your actions to support this goal achievement, and alter your action plan, if needed. A study conducted by Brittany M. Christian et al on 400 participants pointed out the various characteristics of first-person vs third-person visual imagery. It concluded that while first-person visualizations tended to evoke more emotion and hence were more powerful, a third-person vantage point helped the participants make more informed and detached observations, enabling a better problem-solving approach. 5. Gratitude journaling A series of studies by Nathaniel M. Lambert et al concluded that developing an attitude of gratitude results in more positive life outcomes, greater sense of happiness and a higher degree of satisfaction. Making a daily gratitude list can enhance the power of your manifestations by elevating your consciousness and vibrational energy. RELATED: Top 5 benefits of gratitude practice 6. Manifestation affirmations Affirmations are positive statements designed to eliminate the negative tendencies of your subconscious mind and to reinforce empowering thoughts about your ability to achieve your dreams. A 2015 study by University of Pennsylvania pointed out that future-oriented self-affirmations can help break limiting subconscious patterns and create newer, more useful neural connections. Gratitude journaling is another manifestation technique shutterstock/Juice Flair This affirmation manifestation technique, which works with neuroplasticity, could involved you saying something like, “I’m worthy of receiving what I desire”, or “I believe the Universe is working alongside me to achieve what I’m manifesting”, or “I’m working whole-heartedly towards achieving the goals I’m manifesting”. 7. Focus wheel The focus wheel is a simple yet effective manifestation technique to shift your focus from limiting thoughts towards positive and energizing ones. Making one is easy: start by drawing a small circle on a paper or board and write down the goal or dream you currently wish to achieve. Next, jot down positive thoughts related to your main goal around the circle. “Manifestation techniques are essentially practices or daily rituals which can help you achieve your dreams and goals.” For example, if your goal is to achieve good health, the positive statements around it could be “I will exercise five days a week” and “I will make healthier, more conscious food choices.” This manifestation technique helps you to visualize your thoughts more clearly. 8. Act ‘as if’ A quicker way to attract what you want in your life may be by adopting the acting ‘as if’ practice developed by Alfred Adler. This manifestation technique advocates that acting as if you already achieved what you want – instead of waiting for it to become a reality – results in permanent behavioral changes which can then put you on the fast-track to really achieve what you're trying to manifest. • JOIN US! Sign-up and connect with a caring, curious and spiritual community • So, instead of theorizing and planning endlessly for a future event, this technique encourages you to spring into action now to live as if you already have everything you’re manifesting. Manifestation techniques: the takeaway Whether you desire to manifest love, success or happiness, manifestation techniques can prove to be powerful tools to help you bring the positive shift you desire. Although there is limited science to back up whether such techniques based on the law of attraction work, studies so far suggest they can definitely help you on your journey to getting what you want. Explore these manifesting techniques to see what works best for you – you can practise more than one or all at the same time, or even modify or combine them into a version that aligns with your vision. We’d love to know if they work (or don’t!) for you. Let us know in the comments below! • Main image: shutterstock/Teo Tarris happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy classes Gratitude | Motivation | Learning | Success Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

The benefits of developing a gratitude practice are proven by science. From stronger relationships to self-improvement, Dee Marques examines the five key advantages to always being grateful... Gratitude and happiness often go hand in hand, especially when gratefulness is seen as something essential in our daily lives and not just as a passing emotion. Indeed, science shows that far from being a monolithic concept, gratefulness is a complex emotion with real advantages. Indeed, if you start practicing gratitude then you can expect real physical, social and cognitive benefits. So, what is gratitude and gratefulness exactly? Essentially, gratitude is the affirmation of goodness in our lives and the world, of the gifts and benefits we receive, and the recognition that the source of this goodness is outside of us. Practising gratitude: the benefits Taking time to be grateful has many advantages that can make a real difference to our daily lives. As well as allowing us to be mindful and celebrate the present, here are five key reasons to pick up a gratitude practice – the benefits of doing so are all backed up by science. 1. Stronger relationships The social dimension of gratitude is one of the most important benefits of setting up and/or persevering with a gratitude practice. It can help us build stronger relationships because by practising it, we're acknowledging not only the existence of things to be grateful for in life but also – and more importantly – we're acknowledging the source of those things. In the majority of cases, the origins can be traced back to other people, whether they're family members (such as your partner preparing your favourite meal), or strangers (the postman delivering your mail, farmers producing the foods that will be on your table, etc.). Be grateful for simple things, such as your partner's cooking When we think about how other people improve and bring pleasure to our lives, our appreciation for them increases naturally. Noticing the small things and how they came about can be a real eye-opener. It helps us feel more interconnected – part of the whole – and in unity with the world that surrounds the people in it and us. The result? We're less likely to feel lonely or isolated and more likely to live a meaningful life. “Scientific findings have proven that gratefulness is a complex emotion with real advantages. Indeed, if you start practising gratitude then you can expect real physical, social, and cognitive benefits.” The link between gratitude practice and stronger or more fulfilling relationships is not just subjective: researchers at the University of Manchester have established that gratitude influences our perception of social support, encourages reciprocity, and helps create a more supportive environment. 2. Higher cognitive functioning Practicing gratitude also has the potential benefit of turning us into better functioning individuals, and science leaves little room for doubt about this. Dr Christina M. Karns from the University of Oregon carried out extensive research into the neurological aspects of gratitude. Her findings (which you can learn about here, especially in the second half of video) revealed that brain imaging scans show how practicing gratitude activates two areas of the brain that are responsible for processing information for decision-making purposes. This has been confirmed by studies at other universities, which showed that grateful individuals were more likely to be patient in receiving rewards and made better decisions in the long term, whereas individuals who were not feeling grateful when faced with a choice preferred immediate rewards even if those were not as beneficial. “The social dimension of gratitude is one of the most important benefits of setting up and/or persevering with a gratitude practice.” Researchers concluded that there's a connection between gratefulness and self-control. Combined, these two virtues can help us become more rational and focused when making decisions. Even better, research at two universities in the USA shows that feeling grateful releases dopamine, a 'happiness hormone' that keeps neurons functioning and, according to Science Daily, can increase motivation and energy levels. Practices like letter writing or keeping a gratitude journal were also shown to help people achieve their goals more consistently, and this only makes sense. Consciously and intentionally setting aside some time to reflect on the reasons we have to feel grateful sets a precedent for analytical thinking, which can then be extended to other aspects of our lives: the benefit of gratitude practice are clear. 3. Happier and more positive emotions When being grateful becomes an integral part of who we are, savouring the little pleasures in life becomes an essential part of our day-to-day routine. And the more grateful we feel, the more enjoyment we can get out of life. This is more than just a hypothesis. A paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggested that gratitude is strongly related to other positive emotions like life satisfaction, a sense of control, and hope. At the same time, the study found an unlikely correlation between the feeling of gratefulness and negative emotions, such as depression, envy, and anxiety. One benefit of writing a gratitude journal is hitting your goals From a scientific point of view, our brains have a built-in negativity bias that makes us more likely to remember bad experiences than good ones. This happens because negative events trigger an adrenaline rush that engraves negative feelings and memories in the brain. But another benefit of gratitude practice is that it can help re-wire our brains to overcome this bias. RELATED: Gratitude practice (and how it can change your life) Indeed, research shows that gratitude boosts our resilience and gives us reasons to be happy, even in difficult times, establishing a link between gratefulness and the ability to cope better with problems and stress. Other studies have shown that people suffering from depression reported a 35 per cent reduction in their symptoms after starting a thoughtful gratitude practice. Additionally, it's interesting to note that gratefulness seems to have a cumulative effect, as participants reported that happiness levels kept increasing over time. So if you practice gratefulness continuously, the benefits could grow, too. 4. Self-improvement When all the benefits of gratitude practice discussed so far are taken into consideration, it's evident that being grateful is an excellent way of boosting our opportunities for self-growth and personal development. In fact, bringing gratefulness into our lives can transform our personalities for the better. Scientific studies conducted in 2010 suggested that this emotion serves as an intermediary between positive personality traits and emotional well-being, especially when it comes to areas like self-acceptance, purpose in life, openness to others, and autonomy. The beauty of this is that there's no way of predicting where a gratitude practice will take you, as adopting gratefulness is like going on a journey of personal discovery. 5. Better overall health Grateful living has advantages that we can experience at a physical level, too. Dr Robert Emmons, a professor of psychology at the University of California, is a well-known expert in the science of gratefulness, who affirms that gratitude practice can be beneficial to our bodies and improve our overall well-being. Practice makes perfect: gratitude for exercise keeps you motivated Research carried out by Dr Emmons and his team highlighted the mind-body connection and showed that grateful individuals tend to be more aware of how their lifestyle choices affect their health. For example, being thankful for how good exercise makes us feel is likely to keep us motivated to work out frequently, and in turn, regular activity is linked to a stronger immune system, lower cholesterol levels, and lower blood pressure. “It's interesting to note that gratefulness seems to have a cumulative effect, as participants reported that happiness levels kept increasing over time. ” On that note, practising gratefulness appears to be good for our hearts too, quite literally so. Scientists at the University of California, San Diego, examined people who were at high risk of experiencing heart disease and who also kept a gratefulness journal and found that their symptoms worsened at a slower rate than participants who didn't follow the same practice. RELATED: Gratitude yoga And in case that wasn't good enough, feelings of gratefulness cause higher activity in the hypothalamus, a part of the brain that regulates sleep patterns, metabolism, and stress levels. Benefits of gratitude practice: conclusions As you can see, the benefits of incorporating gratefulness practices into your daily life are enormous. Why not give it a try and experience first hand the transformative power of gratitude? One of the best things about being grateful is that it's simple and doesn't cost a thing! ● Do you have a gratitude practice? How has it changed your life? Share with the happiness.com community below or in the Forum... Main image: colourbox.com Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Gratitude was always part of her happiness routine, but when Sienna Saint-Cyr started practising yoga for gratitude, she found a new lightness, peace and energy within. Gratitude – and gratitude yoga – is a catalyst for happiness. When we're grateful for what we have, we stop focusing on the things we lack. But why exactly? Gratitude expert Robert Emmons shares that when people help one another, they feel happier. The actions they take release the feel-good hormone oxytocin. It's this same chemical that positive touch activates. So, while gratitude itself doesn't release the happiness hormone, the actions we take when we are full of gratitude do. From my personal experience, I know that holding gratitude in my heart and mind always leads me to feel happier. For me, it’s not just the actions I take but the reminder that I have so much to be thankful and appreciative for. That alone can get my thinking from dark and depressed to being full of joy. Gratitude is a vital step in my happiness and the benefits of gratitude practice are many. Gratitude yoga: what is it? Since I’d already tried compassion yoga with Adriene, I wanted to try 'Grounding Into Gratitude – Root Chakra Yoga' with her as well. Gratitude – in my experience – is more practical as opposed to just a ‘feeling’, so incorporating it into my yoga practice sounded like an excellent method for increasing my gratitude and, therefore, happiness. “Gratitude and gratitude yoga is a catalyst for happiness. When we're grateful for what we have, we stop focusing on what we lack.” Right from the start, Adriene asked that we trust ourselves, her, and the gratitude yoga practice. She opens with a request that we are the ‘observer’. It made perfect sense, since, in order to feel full of gratitude, we have to be able to observe the good happening around us. It takes us from a place of internal focus and allows us to look outward. This video is also shorter than the last, only about 30 minutes. So it’s a good one for those that don’t have a full hour for daily practice. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Gratitude yoga from Adriene Connecting to chakras Next, Adriene has the practitioners focus their energy in their root chakra, which is the space right behind the pubic bone. Our root chakra is our base, foundation, our connection to the Earth and the physical. When it's out of balance, we can experience higher levels of negativity, trouble eating, greater insecurity, greediness, and more. With all the negative aspects of the root being out of balance, having a practice that focuses on balance seemed the right choice. While I mentioned the heart chakra in compassion yoga, I didn't get much into it. But in this case, understanding chakras is helpful as they're often used in yoga to focus on a particular area of the body, an energy flow. The chakras are associated with seven energy points in the body, colours, organs, and they have corresponding yoga poses to help balance them. Because yoga and balancing the mind, body, and spirit are very connected to the thoughts in our heads, Yoga Journal uses words like ‘imagine’, which took the idea of the chakras from a place of ‘this is real, and therefore we must prove it’ to a place of ‘this is real in my mind and therefore, helpful for visualisations during my practice’. I mention this because when I go to therapy, we often discuss the differences between things that are proven scientifically and things we simply believe. Belief is powerful; there’s no doubt about it. But science and belief aren't the same. So, if you're new to the idea of chakras and desire a science-based explanation, you might do better with the idea of chakras as visualisations as opposed to actual energy points in the body. For our purposes here, the root is our base and our balance. Gratitude yoga: the practice The first gratitude yoga pose in which I felt my energy and grounding – or connection to the earth – was the Malasana pose. It was hard to stay in it at first, as I felt unbalanced. But I kept trying. Slowly, my hips opened. I felt my energy shoot from my root down through the floor and into the earth, then fresh energy back up into me. I visualized this energy, and the more I did so, the sturdier I felt. Gratitude yoga: Malasana pose Finally, I was able to stay in the gratitude yoga pose and fully embrace that feeling of balance, which then led to me feeling so much giddy happiness. Because when I feel balanced, I feel like I can trust myself, and that is a vital step in maintaining my joy. During a variation of Malasana, Adriene has the practitioner work with their feet. She mentions that feet are an essential step in finding grounding. Since my feet often ache, I took what she said to heart and massaged my feet while rocking back and forth in a sort of frog-like squat. It’s close to Malasana, but not quite the same. “Slowly my hips opened. I felt my energy shoot from my root down through the floor and into the earth, then fresh energy back up into me!” I found this helped me relax into the more challenging poses later on. If I was struggling with balance, I rubbed the bottoms of my feet for 30 seconds, and I was instantly able to balance more efficiently. Another gratitude yoga pose I found helpful was called Humble Warrior. I’d done Warrior pose many times, even Peaceful Warrior, but not Humble. I was amazed how much this pose released in my body. All the tension I carry in my shoulders and neck began to loosen, and the longer I maintained the posture, the more I felt the release. Yoga for gratitude: Humble Warrior pose Gratitude yoga: 'I am,' and happiness I can’t deny that when I finished the video that I felt lighter, more grounded, connected to Earth, and at peace with myself. One of the mantras Adriene used — because as she stated in the video, it relates to the root chakra — was ‘I am’. During the entire session, I focused on gratitude for all the wonderful people in my life, for the healing in myself that I've allowed happening and worked so hard for, and also the thought 'I am'. I kept repeating ‘I am’ in my head. Sometimes I’d say it aloud. Each time, I felt more accepting of myself. Less judgement and self-shaming behaviour for all the things I am not. I've known about ‘I am’ for years now. In fact, my first introduction to it was when I was young and being raised in a religious household. I was told that this was God’s response when asked what he was. Later I was shown meditations and Native American and Buddhist practices that also incorporated it. “When I finished the gratitude yoga video I felt lighter, more grounded, connected to Earth, and at peace with myself.” But I didn't understand that really all ‘I am’ means is acceptance and embracing of the self. It’s not to embrace my bad habits, but to embrace that I have those bad habits and to choose to love myself anyway. It’s in accepting myself fully that I find the ability to break my bad habits. Not only is the mantra ‘I am’ helpful for self-acceptance, but it’s also useful for gratitude toward others, as well as affirmations: I am thankful… I am grateful… I am happy… Self-acceptance is an important step on our path to happiness. In fact, self-help books and too-large goal setting can lead to unhappiness. There's a ‘should be’ and ‘should do’ mentality and it directly leads to ‘I am not enough’. The right place to start with developing one self though is self-acceptance and being happy enough. While self-acceptance – 'I am' – can result in seeing our worth as we are. As I mentioned above, this isn't reason to perpetuate bad habits. What it is is an opportunity for embracing ourselves and loving who we are. I feel gratitude, the ‘I am’ mantra, and happiness are connected. I didn't possess any of these until I jumped onto the wheel (as I see it in my mind’s eye). Once I had gratitude, I felt happier. Once I felt happier, I was able to accept the parts of myself that I was judging. Then when I let go of self-judgement, I felt a deeper level of gratitude. If I stay on this wheel, these things feed one another, and I end up feeling each stronger. Give yoga for gratitude a try and also read on for yoga for moodswings, part three of this series. Namaste! ● Main image: colourbox.com. Other images: Yoga with Adriene Written by Sienna Saint-Cyr Sienna Saint-Cyr is an author, advocate, and the founder of SinCyr Publishing. She speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on the importance of having a healthy body image, understanding enthusiastic consent, using sexuality to promote healing, navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships, having Complex PTSD, and more. Sienna loves sharing her journey of healing and finding happiness with her readers. Along with writing erotica and romance, Sienna speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on such sex-positive topics as a healthy body image, using sexuality to promote healing, and navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships. She writes for several websites. Find out more. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? 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Which are the best happiness apps out there on the market? Rae Bathgate selects the top six that you'll want to ring home about. Apple coined the phrase “there's an app for that,” and it's true many of us tend rely on our smartphones and apps for so much these days. There are apps for music, dating, exercising, health, transport, learning new languages, and even tuning a guitar. But what are some of the best happiness apps out there? There are so many happiness apps these days, how do you know which are the best? Well, below I review six of the top science-based happiness apps to reveal their strengths and weaknesses. The best happiness apps are, first and foremost, free (at least for a trial run). Many also use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as a basis for their concept. While apps are indeed very different than an hour of talk therapy with a counsellor, the way that apps can work within the realm of CBT is to try to modify your thinking patterns and by helping you to change patterns of behaviour through repetition. This can be of help if you are trying to stop ruminating. Who uses happiness apps? There are various reasons why self-care apps can be a positive addition to your life and push you a little bit closer towards your quest to happiness. They're more common than you think, and people already tend to use the iPhone, an extension of themselves, as a way to learn more about and to be more in tune with their mind. Get appy: which happiness apps boost your well-being? Indeed, according to Nature, about 29 per cent of “disease-specific mobile health apps” are focused on mental health. For example, two common mental health related apps for more dire circumstances are the PTSD Coach app or FOCUS for users with schizophrenia. While these two don't illustrate why the average happy hunter uses happiness apps, they have some of the same benefits. So, can an app really make you happier? First of all, the best happiness apps are helpful for those with a busy schedule, as they are always available. After all, you never know when you’ll need help. The app also interacts positively with the user. Just like getting constant notifications or updates on social media might be stressful, receiving reminders to do a task or maybe an affirmation just when you need it could help you feel a lot better. “Apps within the realm of CBT try to modify your thinking patterns and by helping you to change your patterns of behaviour through repetition.” While not all the apps are free, many beat the cost of going to see a mental health professional, and, what’s more, the stigma of going to see a specialist unfortunately still exists. Some of the advantages of using happiness apps are: You can practice them everywhere; If you use them as much as you use your smartphone, you'll use them regularly; It can remind you to be happier if you forget; Many of them are cost effective, if not free. Of course, it's important to remember that happiness and health apps are an excellent way to keep working towards better mental health at the forefront of your everyday life and can consolidate healthy habits, but even the best happiness apps by no means replace visiting a mental health professional, or even just simple human contact. Think of these happy apps like vitamins – supplements are great, but they can never replace the real thing. So, without further ado – and in no particular order – here's our pick of the best happiness apps on the market right now. 1. Happify Android: Free iPhone: Free Happify comes in both website and app form, and claims to: increase happiness through fun activities and games; help you learn life-changing habits based on science; reduce stress and build skills for a happy healthy life. The Happify app has various “scientifically validated tracks” that are suggested to you after you take a short questionnaire detailing your life and health. Each track has a theme and is divided into parts (usually four). These are then divided into activities, ranging from guided meditations to reflective writing assignments to fun games. How many tracks depends on if you pay the monthly subscription or downloaded the free version. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Happify app: an overview of this happiness application For the more socially minded, there's a community page with inspirational comments from other users. You can add your own too to brighten someone else’s day since it’s proven to make you feel happier. There are 58 'core activities' to begin with, with different variations, adding up to an amazing 1,200 various activities in total. These activities were designed with the help of a psychology professor, and they range from asking you to write down what you’re looking forward to in general, or looking forward to doing for a friend. Each of the 58 activities has a “Why it works” icon next to it, to explain you more about the science behind the fun games. Every two weeks, your phone gives you a happiness check-in. “While not all the best happiness apps are free, many beat the cost of going to see a mental health professional.” The reception for Happify app has been overall positive. In fact, 86 per cent of the app's users reported feeling better about their lives after just two months of using it during testing, with many reporting feeling more motivated and productive, indicating that it helps people to solidify positive, helpful habits that are the framework for a more confident and happy life. Happify app allows you develop life-changing habits Users can also access Happify Daily – free content based around happiness – as well as the Happify community and forum. And, if you really feel the app is working for you, you can unlock the full range of actives and reports by subscribing to Happify Plus. So, as a recap, here's why you should download the Happify app: It helps you build resilience for stressful experiences; It helps you build happy, healthy habits tied to positive thinking; Since even reflecting on happy memories releases happiness hormones, you can boost your well-being by making a digital scrapbook to remind you of sunnier pastures when you feel blue. 2. Happy Habits Android: free iPhone: unavailable The Happy Habits app describes itself as relying heavily on the principles of CBT, and that it works by helping to “create the conditions for happiness in [the user's] life. It starts out by giving its users a 119-item test to assess their happiness based on 14 factors; then, they administer results and suggestions, through games and soothing audios to talk you through your quest for happiness. Another Happy Habits feature are Emotion Training Audios. These are to help with managing emotions so that you can be more aware and cultivate a more positive attitude, best used when you feel overwhelmed by anger, sadness, or stress. Happy Habits: a sneak peak inside this well-being app Then, if you're feeling particularly anxious, you can also use the Relaxation Audios to unwind and to learn deep relaxation. Or, for those of you who like to find out more about the concept and the history of the pursuit of happiness, there's their Choosing Happiness Audio to delve into the idea of and search for well-being. For those of you who like to cross things off of a list, the Happy Habits app also features a Customisable Happy 'to do' list. “The best happiness are free (at least for a trial run). Many also use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as a basis for their concept.” Like most of the best happy apps, it's gamified, which means using it is fun, rather than a chore, with a points feature that helps you to keep track of progress. Users who like to write and keep track of their thoughts will be happy to know that the app also has a happiness journal for writing personal affirmations and recording positive events to look back on later. The Happy Habits design is a little retro, but it uses positive colours like yellow and orange, and it’s customizable. So, a recap of why you should use Happy Habits: It's based on CBT, a method that's proven to help depression and anxiety; It has a large variety of calming audios for you to listen to in the car, on the bus, or at home; It gives you a gratitude scrapbook to look back on when you need to cheer up. 3. SuperBetter Android: free iPhone: free Building resilience – the ability to stay strong, motivated and optimistic – even in the face of change and difficult challenges is tough. But the makers behind the SuperBetter app believe that using their tool will unlock your heroic potential so you can overcome tough situations and achieve goals that matter most. RELATED: Happiness podcasts – 8 that we rate At the heart of SuperBetter is the Live Gamefully® method, a framework that brings the psychological strengths and mindset of gameplay to real life. The method promotes new levels of personal growth as a result of stress and change. That's why it's called SuperBetter. A key part of building happiness is developing resilience. While bouncing back from life’s challenges is important, it’s not easy. SuperBetter makes the process easier by taking you through a series of activities that help you build resilience while reducing anxiety and depression, leading to a happier life. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } XX Feeling super: SuperBetter founder Jane McGonigal The SuperBetter app has gamified the process of building happiness by creating short and simple activities that you complete as you head off on quests to build happiness-boosting skills. Completing the activities provide you with quick wins to jump-start your happiness journey. With SuperBetter you become the hero of the app, as you gain points and power by completing and tracking daily activities. Simple tasks such as taking a walk or drinking a glass of water count as a step toward your ultimate goal. You can also do it with a secret identity and superhero story of your choosing. The SuperBetter lets you collect power-ups on your quests, fight off bad guys, and get help from allies. One of our best happiness apps: SuperBetter Another unique thing about the SuperBetter app is that it's heavily science-backed. A study by the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia found that when people played SuperBetter for 30 days, their mood improved, symptoms of anxiety and depression decreased, and self-belief to achieve goals increased. So, a recap of why you should use the SuperBetter app: Gamified and fun; Helps you to build resilience, adopt new habits, improve skills and strengthen relationships; Research has shown it has positive results. 4. HAPPY Android: free iPhone: free OK, call us biased, but we really think our own app, HAPPY, is also one of the best happiness apps on the market too! One of the most significant factors to impact our happiness is a sense of community, and that's what HAPPY, our own well-being app, focuses on. Many of the apps on this list aim to improve our mental health, foster resilience and actively build our capacity to live happier lives by offering concrete personal exercises such as gratitude journals, mindfulness exercises, creating healthy habits, etc. These are all practical measures which we at happiness.com highly recommend. However, they are primarily done in solitude and through introspection. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } The HAPPY app makes use of the key feature of the happiness.com platform – community. It's a happiness app that allows you to be in touch with people worldwide to share your struggles and support each other. To find strength in our shared humanity, our imperfection, and our deep care for each other and the planet. HAPPY is an app that aims to build a community and to use it to elevate your well-being through: Joining a conscious, global community. Engaging in big topics and intimate conversations. Sharing common interests and new perspectives. Building mutual support through shared struggles. Everyone experiences ups and downs, but how do we master the downs skillfully? The HAPPY app facilitates a safe and mutually supportive community where tools, practices and experiences enable everyone to live happy and fulfilled lives. HAPPY: our well-being app focuses on community For example, are you awake at 3am full of anxiety? Share your struggles live on the HAPPY app, and who knows where in the world someone else will be awake who relates to your experience and has kind words of support. Maybe you are in the metro on the way to work, and you can be the person who is offering those accepting words and emotional support. The HAPPY App is the mobile addition to happiness.com: your pocketful of happiness. Making the healing power of human connection – the happiness community – accessible on your phone. 5. Happier Android: unavailable iPhone: free Happier is an Apple app on a mission: to make sure you appreciate life to the fullest. Happier app was developed by Nataly Kogan, a TEDtalk speaker who emigrated from Russia when she was young and went through hard times, escaping oppression in the Soviet Union while her family got on their feet in the Detroit projects. Allegedly, Kogan vowed to find happiness, first looking towards success and wealth to achieve it. Quite understandably, this did not lead her where she wanted, so she turned towards her father's work – science – to see what next steps she could take. Happier app: an overview of what's inside In practice, the app works by helping you to be "more present and positive throughout the day," working like a life appreciation platform, or a personal life coach. Each day it prompts you to write what you're most grateful for, be it the sun shining on your back, a moment spent with a loved one, making every stoplight on the street, or getting your favourite ice cream – you can even add pictures • JOIN US! Discover more tips on happiness with our open and inspired community • These are moments that you might not notice if not for Happier, with which you can "create, collect and share those tiny positive moments." Ways you can use it are to lift your mood, take a meditation break, or enjoy the moments that make your day happier. “Happier app works by helping you to be 'more present and positive throughout the day', working like a life appreciation platform, or even a personal life coach.” The Happier app is portable and can be used on Apple watch as well, acting as your gratitude journal. It also offers “bite-sized, expert-led courses,” to teach you more about the practice and science of happiness on which the app is based, breaching subjects like strength, calmness, and gratitude. What's more, it works as a sort of happiness social media platform, where you can connect to those around you (if you want, since sharing publicly is entirely optional) and get inspired by their gratitude posts. There's something very zen about Happier, an app which urges you to think of happiness, not like a feeling, but more like a muscle to be trained and on which you can rely on your day-to-day life. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } So, here's a recap as to why you should use the Happier app: Instead of selling you unattainable happiness, it helps you to appreciate what you already have; To keep a picture, easily updatable scrapbook on what you're most grateful for; It helps you learn more about the science behind positive psychology. 6. Yolife Android: free iPhone: free A relative newcomer into the happiness app scene, Yolife is described as 'your personal coach to live longer in good health'. Indeed, the vision of the Yolife founders is to add 15 healthy years to the lives of at least one million people in the world. And what does great health bring? Greater happiness, that's what. Signing up via log-in or Facebook, the first stage of Yolife involves completing an engaging health consultation, answering questions about your health, habits, exercise, social life and such. Your responses determine just how many extra healthy years they suggest you'll live in good health. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Love life: Yolife wants you to live longer in great health Furthermore, with each answer you give there's a scientific explanation behind it and the chance to read more. Indeed, Yolife is thoroughly research-based, using clinical studies and advisory board for input. The design is modern and sleek, with a refreshing sense of humor in the texts, too. After completing the consultation you can see how many estimated healthy years you have. What comes next is your personalized programme of activities which aims to boost those healthy years further by helping you to discover which areas you have the greatest potential to improve. The programme includes classes on subjects such as optimal sleeping conditions, the purpose of life, sex makes you live longer (!), different ways of fasting, and plenty more. “The vision of the Yolife app is to add 15 healthy years to the lives of at least one million people in the world.” Yolife co-founder Tassilo Weber has his own definition of happiness which is very much present in the app: "I'm not only an entrepreneur, I also studied philosophy and still consider myself a philosopher by heart. Therefore, the pursuit and definition of happiness has always been a major topic in my life. And that influence cannot be hidden, as you use the Yolife app. The happiness app Yolife has a sleek, smart design “There's even one full session called “A formula for happiness”. It boils down to two things: 1. Find and follow a purpose. 2. Stay healthy for as long as possible. With these two pillars in place, happiness has the best chance to thrive. As Yolife is an app that helps you to live longer in good health and guided by purpose, I consider happiness as one of the main value propositions that we intend to bring to at least one million people.” So, here's a recap as to why you should use the Yolife: Science-backed suggestions on practical life changes; Track your progress and growth Sleek, modern design and great colours; The best happiness apps: conclusions Of course, using these happiness apps alone won't be enough to change your life. Spending too much time on your smartphone – even on happiness apps – won't give you time to put what you learn on these apps into practice. Still, there is science to back up the claims behind these programs. For example, a meta-analysis of 51 “positive-interventions” like mindfulness activities, gratitude writing, and goal-setting found them to “significantly enhance well-being and decrease depressive symptoms.” More specifically, one of the main ideas behind the majority of these apps, counting your blessings, has been proven to make you happier. We invite you to try out what we think are the best happiness apps to see what works best for you, and what pushes you to do the little things that will make your life better. Let us know below in the comments which ones have helped you the most! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Learning | Mindfulness | Meditation | Coaching Written by Rae Bathgate Rae Bathgate is an American journalist based in Barcelona, where she enjoys sunlight, yoga, and bookbinding.

Yes, happiness is a choice and not a result of achievements or purchases. Learn how to maintain your happy vibe with these eight tips from Calvin Holbrook. As editor of this happiness magazine, you'd be forgiven for thinking that I leap out of bed each morning after a restful sleep with a grin on my face, full of great intentions for the day ahead. Not so! Indeed, for the main part, for me, happiness is a choice rather than my natural state of being. In fact, like all of us, I’m not happy all the time (let’s face it, that would just be weird). In reality, for me, authentic happiness doesn't signify a lack of negative feelings such as sadness and pain, but an ability to experience a wide spectrum of emotions while managing to appreciate – and stay focused on – the positive things that I do have in my life. According to psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, roughly 50 per cent of our natural happiness level is genetically determined (our so-called happiness set point). I believe my own happiness set point started out lower down the scale, but, with work, I’ve managed to boost it because – over time and consistently – I’ve made the choice to be happy, even when my life circumstances and situation were telling me otherwise. Choosing to be happy is a constant effort, and to be honest, it’s not something that comes naturally. In fact, I’ve had to train myself to think happy. Indeed, like millions of us, I’ve struggled with periods of depression and anxiety, had to live with periods of debilitating panic attacks or episodes of rumination that have beaten my mental health and happiness down. Along the way, I’ve learned that these problems should not define me or my mood. Indeed, I can still see happiness as a choice, but it requires focus and effort to stay positive (and, of course, professional help or medication when appropriate). Happiness fuels success, not vice versa Most people go through life thinking that happiness is something that happens to them as a result of success or something good happening, for example, getting a pay rise or getting 100 new likes on their latest Instagram post. Indeed, large parts of the population don’t realize that happiness is a choice, and instead go through the motions in life, waiting for joy to pop up and slap them in the face! Stay smiling: make the choice to be happy However, science shows that this type of instant gratification doesn’t really make us happy (not in the long-term, anyway). In fact, there is no magic pill to finding happiness. However, there is one thing that is required to boost well-being, and that is work. Work? Ugh! I’m afraid so. Because happiness is a choice, it needs to be worked at consistently, with effort, care and dedication on your behalf. • JOIN US! Sign-up free now to access online courses in our Academy • In fact, I believe the root to happiness is in the work you put into it. You have to commit to being happy, prioritize it, focus on it, and remain disciplined as much as possible, even in those dark and difficult days – especially on those dark days! If happiness is a choice, how can I work on it? It sounds staggering, but it’s reported that we make around 35,000 remotely conscious decisions every single day. From seemingly inconsequential stuff about choosing what to eat and what clothes to wear, to bigger things like who to love, how to spend our free time, whether to move city or quit the job we feel stuck in. Some of our choices turn out to be great and others not so. What they have in common though is that all of these choices are based in our deep desire to be happy. These choices make up part of our ‘life activity’. As mentioned earlier, genetics make up roughly half of happiness levels. The remainder depends on our circumstances (10 per cent) and this so-called ‘life activity’ (40 per cent). "Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.” Ralph Marston While we cannot always control our circumstances, we do have more control over our life activity. And if that life activity is said to be responsible for almost 40 per cent of our happiness, we can focus on making better choices here to increase our happiness levels. In fact, we can even make choosing happiness as one life choice! OK, I hear what you might be thinking: all of this is easier said than done. Life is tough. Shit happens. Stuff gets in the way. True, there are many challenging things that we will experience in life and we know that the only certainty is change, so we will always face upheavals. This doesn't mean that all of life is bad, it just means that life is not easy. But happiness does not come from your circumstances or your situation. Happiness comes from a choice that you make within. Learning how to choose happiness I’ve had to train my brain to choose happiness, even when my circumstances suggested the opposite. I believe I’ve boosted my natural happiness set point by carrying out specific ‘feel happier’ activities. If you're struggling to find the root of happiness, incorporate these eight science-backed tips into your daily life and you may start to feel happier. Stick at it, put in the hard work, and you should see results. 1. Choose gratitude and look on the bright side No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive you can find to focus on. It could be the fact you have a place to live, friends and family that love you, have clothes to wear, or even that you have eyes to see and legs to walk with. There are millions of people in the world that don't have some of these things. RELATED: 5 benefits of gratitude practice Since happiness is a choice, start finding things in your life that you're grateful for. It could also be seemingly small, general things that we often take for granted, such as the smell of cut grass, the sound of the ocean, etc. Writing these things down in a gratitude journal helps to solidify your happiness further. Try jotting down three good things about every day: studies have shown that doing this increases optimism, reduces anxiety, and chemically changes the brain to be more positive. 2. Choose to think positively Try to live by the ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ anecdote. Focusing on positive thoughts and trying to reducing negative thinking is easier said than done, but give the following technique a try. Each time you have a negative thought, simply replace it with a positive one. This practice will help to retrain your habitual thought patterns to bring more positive thoughts and happiness into your life. Changing perspective on your situation will help you find happiness. If you’ve made a mistake – however big – try to focus on your past achievements instead, actually visualizing your previous successes and happy times. 3. Choose to smile Turn that frown upside down! One of the most important figures in the fields of mindfulness and meditation, Thích Nhất Hạnh once wrote, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”’ Indeed, studies have shown that smiling and other external expressions work as a continual feedback loop, helping to reinforce our internal emotions. A study by scientists at the University of Kansas found that making yourself smile can help lower your heart rate during stressful activities. So, smiling even when we feel down will gradually makes us feel happier (and healthier). Try smiling at strangers, too: as well as being a choice, happiness is also contagious. Grin gains: force a smile and choose to feel happier 4. Choose kindness When you choose to do kinds acts for other people, so-called happiness hormones are released, boosting your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of well-being and satisfaction. Endorphin levels also rise, leading to a phenomenon known as a 'helper’s high’. • JOIN US! Discover more tips on happiness with our open and inspired community • Another physical benefit of kindness is that it can help to lower anxiety. Social anxiety is associated with low positive affect (PA), which relates to an individual’s experience of positive moods such as joy, interest, and alertness. A four-week study on happiness from the University of British Columbia found that participants who engaged in kind acts displayed major increases in their PA levels that were maintained during the study duration. 5. Choose meaningful relationships/interactions Research shows that happier people have rewarding social relationships. Indeed, we humans are a social species and need regular contact. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness and recent studies show it can be as harmful to mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. So, to make a happiness a choice, choose quality friendships. In fact, even a short positive interaction with a stranger can contribute to you feeling happier. 6. Choose to be more mindful Mindfulness meditation is an easy way to try to increase your happiness levels. Start your day with just 10-15 minutes of meditation, shortly after waking: the immediate heightened inner clarity and focus it will give you will set you up for what’s ahead. Many studies have shown that mediation can boost happiness levels by reducing stress hormones, shrinking the part of the brain that controls anxiety, and by stopping rumination, amongst other things. “No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive you can find to focus on. Since happiness is a choice, start finding things in your life that you’re grateful for.” And, according to Psychology Today, meditation is the strongest mental practice that has the power to reset your happiness set point, thus turning you into a more joyful person and literally rewiring major areas in your brain so you can feel happier. 7. Choose a purpose Meaningfulness is a happy factor that you can extend into your whole life. Whether it's volunteering, gardening, or becoming politically active, activities with a purpose have been shown to boost people's happiness and reduce stress levels at the same time. A study from the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that people who took part in such activities became 34 per cent less stressed and 18 per cent less sad. 8. Choose to be satisfied Ex-US President Theodore Roosevelt once said, “comparison is the thief of joy.” And in today’s Insta-ready society this rings true more than ever. In a social media savvy world, flaunting your money, travels and other supposed successes or happiness is all too common, especially with the younger generation. However, if happiness is a choice, then comparing yourself to other people will only result in unhappiness. Rate your mates: quality friendships bring happiness In fact, data from a 2010 survey of 19,000 Europeans showed that those who compared their incomes to others were less happy with what they had. The comparisons that were most damaging to happiness were when people compared their incomes to those of school and university friends (even though we know that money can’t buy happiness, right?) Choose to be satisfied with what you have and stop comparing your life to that of others: reduce the time you spend scrolling through social media. Conclusions: why happiness is a choice Abraham Lincoln is famously quoted as saying, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” And he was right. Happiness is a choice but also a daily practice that requires time, effort and dedication. By carrying out our suggestions above, you should hopefully start to see some benefits. But, if you still fail to feel happy, take time to think through your actions. Are you doing the things you need to choose happiness or are you letting your emotions take control? If you’re trying to feel happier and you remain down or struggling with depression, consult with your GP or therapist to seek professional help. Happiness is a choice and choosing help is a also a great step to getting started if you’re feeling blocked. • Choosing happiness becomes easier when you have the right tools to help you. Sign up free to happiness.com today to access our online Academy and share and support others in our forums. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Gratitude | Thich Nhat Hanh | Purpose of Life Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, as well being an artist and lover of travel, swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

Feeling connected to others in a world that's increasingly individualistic may seem challenging, but as Dee Marques explains, there are some simple intimacy exercises you can use to develop stronger bonds, deepen connections, and improve the quality of your relationships. There's little doubt that humans are social beings. Feeling close to others contributes to our overall feelings of happiness and fulfillment. Indeed, there are plenty of studies that confirm this from a scientific point of view. In fact, scientists believe our brains are hardwired to be social and that our development as a species relied on our ability to maintain strong bonds. But although we live surrounded by people, loneliness and isolation are still some of the biggest social challenges of the 21st century. Indeed, researchers have noted that one can have a wide social network and interact regularly with others and still feel lonely or disconnected. This suggests that intimacy is a key factor in the development of meaningful connections with others. So, here are five easy intimacy exercises that can help deepen the connection you have with your partner and all the other important people in your life. 1. Meditation Meditation is a fabulous tool that can help you achieve greater awareness and connection with the world that surrounds us. Several studies have found that regular meditation practice has a positive effect on close relationships and helps develop a stronger sense of intimacy. According to these studies, there are several reasons why meditation works: first of all, meditation makes us more accepting of our own flaws, so we can easily become more forgiving of others. Secondly, meditation improves our ability to separate thoughts from emotions and makes us less 'reactive', so we can continue working on developing closeness, despite ups and downs in our relationships. Meditation helps deepen connections with others Shou-yi is a lesser-known form of meditation that comes from the Taoist tradition. The name itself means “to embrace the one”, so it's easy to see why this intimacy exercise can help deepen a connection with others. Shou-yi brings to the forefront of your mind the fact that in one way or another, we are all interconnected and interdependent. This technique is also known as “quiet sitting” and involves contemplative meditation based on Taoist philosophy: Sit down with your back straight Visualise the five 'yin organs', or bodily parts where energy resides: the liver, heart, spleen, lungs and kidneys. This could be compared to a body scan meditation, where you focus on one body part at the time Each yin organ has a colour associated to it. Liver is azure, the heart is a vivid red, the spleen is yellow, lungs are white and kidneys are dark blue. Focus on the relevant colour as you move through each body part According to Taoist scriptures, these colours also correspond to the five elements: wood (azure), fire (red), earth (yellow), metal (white) and water (dark blue) Visualize the flow between body parts, colours and elements The goal of this technique is to achieve a deep insight into oneness and bring a deep sense of harmony between humans, the earth and the cosmos. Once you are in the 'oneness mindset', it becomes easier to look at the forest instead of getting distracted by the trees (other people’s habits and traits that bother us). After all, there is a reason why Taoist philosophy has been used for peacebuilding and conflict management purposes. 2. Loving-kindness meditation A second intimacy exercise to help deepen connection is loving-kindness meditation (LKM). The ultimate goal of LKM is to strengthen compassion, love and appreciation for other beings, so it's an ideal technique to improve intimacy. RELATED: How to improve intimacy – 9 techniques to try A study of people who practised loving-kindness meditation for six weeks showed a reduction in the negativity levels of their relationships. Furthermore, participants reported having a stronger support network and felt increased happiness. The technique is also simple: Find a quiet space and choose a comfortable position Create a mantra, which should include good wishes towards others (for example: "May I be happy, healthy and free from harm. May you be happy, healthy and free from harm") Repeat the mantra in six stages: first direct it towards yourself, next towards someone who has had a positive effect in your life, then towards a relative or friend, next towards someone you feel neutral or have an occasional conflict with, then towards someone you dislike, and lastly, towards all beings While you repeat the mantra, picture those good wishes physically going from you to other people Here's another example of a loving kindness meditation by Jack Kornfield 3. Gratitude The third exercise is writing gratitude letters. Letting people know we value them and care for them can improve our relationship with others, since we become more likely to overlook people’s flaws, lessening any chance of conflict and helping us achieve a better appreciation of other people’s value. Gratitude letters can deepen connection because our feelings of gratitude are directly shown to the other person. This intimacy exercise has a strong impact on the quality of the relationship, as well as a lasting effect that can span several weeks, as shown by studies at the University of Pennsylvania. Even if you don't send the letter, putting your gratitude in writing makes you more aware of your positive emotions and is bound to make you feel closer to others. “Writing gratitude letters as an intimacy exercise can deepen connection because our feelings of gratitude are directly shown to the other person.” Gratitude letters work because when we direct our attention to gratefulness, we automatically divert it from toxic or negative emotions. And as some researchers have found, the benefits multiply over time, since cultivating an ongoing gratitude practice causes changes in brain activity in areas related to decision-making, meaning that there is a link between gratitude feelings and how we act towards others. Say thanks: gratitude letters are a great intimacy exercise 4. Getting to know you exercise The fourth method on deepening connections is a 36-question exercise that you can use to understand others better and get a better picture of who they truly are. For this intimacy exercise, you'll need to set at least 45 minutes aside and take turns asking the questions that you can find here. RELATED: 6 types of intimacy and how to cultivate them Research at US universities has shown that this exercise is effective in helping deepen connection and closeness between people. This is because the exercise relies on mutual self-disclosure as opposed to small talk. Furthermore, it requires both sides to open up, providing a safe environment where there's no fear of feeling vulnerable or one-sided. 5. Mindful listening Devoting time to properly listening to others (instead of simply exchanging views or acknowledging information) is one of the best ways of showing we care for them. Mindful listening is an intimacy exercise that can also help increase empathy, because in doing so we get to understand better other people’s motives, needs and fears, gaining a more accurate picture of who they are as human beings. “Meditation practice has a positive effect on close relationships and helps develop a stronger sense of intimacy.” So, next time you have a conversation with a partner or friend, focus on what they're saying without judging or interrupting, and do your best to be present in the moment, being supportive and receptive. It's also useful to have some guidelines in mind: Suspend assumptions Suspend judgement Suspend status (communicate on an equal-to-equal basis) Honour confidentiality Honour silence Deep listening works because by not being judgmental and overlooking differences in opinion, others feel more inclined to trust us. Overall, mindful listening improves the quality of our relationships and sets a solid foundation for authentic interpersonal encounters. Listen and learn: deep listening equals deeper connections The benefits of deeper intimacy We live in a society that's increasingly individualistic, so it's always good to remember the benefits of crafting a deeper connection with others and of cultivating intimacy in relationships. The benefits are both physical and emotional: being able to connect with others at a deeper level generates empathy, which has been proven to give a sense of purpose and to strengthen the immune system. Other studies show that stronger connectedness with others is a key component of our support system, can lower stress and anxiety levels, and has been linked to lower heart disease rates. Of course, lasting closeness, intimacy and loyalty will not come automatically. There is no magic pill when it comes to deepening your connection with others, but the five intimacy exercises we have discussed here are a good starting point that can help your enjoy richer and more meaningful relationships. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Relationship advice | Communication skills | Learning Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Practicing gratitude is a simple way to deal with bad situations and is scientifically proven to have a positive pay off on your health. Arlo Laibowitz examines the ways to be thankful and the benefits. The benefits of practicing gratitude are many. When we're going through tough times, or don’t feel satisfied with life, it's natural to focus on what we lack and take the things that we do have for granted. That's a missed opportunity. Many studies have shown that one of the keys to living a happy and fulfilled life is gratitude. So, how can we develop a gratitude practice? And what are the advantages of being grateful? What is gratitude? Gratitude is the affirmation of goodness in the world, of the gifts and benefits we receive, and the recognition that the source of this goodness is outside of us. Gratitude allows us to: Celebrate the present. Handle toxic or negative emotions better. Be more resistant to stress. And have a higher sense of self-worth. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Gratitude practices and programs One of the leading researchers on gratitude is Robert Emmons. He's developed gratitude programs and practices that centre around: Keeping a gratitude journal of three or five things you're grateful for, and thereby developing a daily gratitude practice. Remembering the bad. To be grateful in the now, it helps to remember hardships you've overcome. Asking yourself three questions. “What have I received from __?”, “What have I given to __?”, and “What troubles and difficulty have I caused?” Learning prayers of gratitude, or looking for secular alternatives to express gratitude for existence on a regular basis. Coming to your senses. Appreciate everything you can see, smell, taste, and hear. Using visual reminders, to help you appreciate what you have. Making a vow to practice gratitude, which could be as simple as a piece of paper saying “I vow to count my blessings each day.” Minding your language. Use words like 'blessing', 'fortune', 'abundance', and so on. Focus on your speech on others instead of yourself. Going through the motions. Doing grateful actions will make you more grateful; smile, say thank you, and write letters of gratitude. Thinking outside the box. Look for new situations and circumstances to feel grateful. On a practical level, your gratitude practice can consist of many things, from writing a handwritten ‘thank you’-letter, to creating an appreciation calendar, saying “I’m grateful” for everything you touch on a given day, calling your parents or children and expressing your appreciation, sharing a positive post of gratitude on social media, or giving your time or money to a cause or charity. Good stuff: be grateful, feel better! What are the benefits of a gratitude practice? The benefits of gratitude practices range from physical benefits, like having a stronger immune system, lower blood pressure, and better sleep, to psychological benefits like higher levels of positivity, more alertness, joy, and pleasure, to social benefits like being more helpful, generous, compassionate, forgiving, and more connected. People who experience the most gratitude (and therefore the positive effects) tend to: Feel a sense of abundance in their lives. Appreciate the contributions of others to their well-being. Recognise and enjoy life's small pleasures. Acknowledge the importance of experiencing and expressing gratitude. In short, developing and maintaining gratitude practices radically transforms your outlook and experience of life. Practice gratitude on a regular basis, and start reaping these benefits for yourself! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Stress management | Mindfulness | Burnout Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.

In today's noisy and unsettling world, in can be difficult to find inner peace and tranquility. Dee Marques explores the three key techniques that can help: mindfulness, shadow work and cultivating equanimity. It’s true that human history has always been marked by unsavoury events, but perhaps you share the feeling that these days, conflict, hatred, and violence suddenly seem to be all around us. Feeling you don’t really know what’s happening to the world is deeply unsettling and can threaten your inner peace and happiness. Yet, there are things you can do to counteract these emotions. Here are some ideas on how you can promote inner peace within yourself – and with others – regardless of how uncertain the world around us may be. Finding inner peace When dealing with hatred and violence, finding ways to promote inner peace requires mindful action. Here are the three key techniques you can use to try and find that inner calm and quiet. 1. Mindfulness Our first suggestion is to practise mindfulness. Not just because of its ability to transform your inner self, but because it can change your perception of the world, too. Indeed, scientific studies have shown that regular mindfulness practice appears to shrink the amygdala (the part of the brain that controls feelings of fear), while at the same time activating the pre-frontal cortex, which is associated with decision-making and awareness. All this means that mindfulness can help us regulate our emotions instead of simply reacting to triggers. It also helps us make more balanced judgements about what’s going on around us, as well as inside us. Discover some great mindfulness tips, such as mindful eating and drinking, gratitude walks and creating a start-of-the-day ritual. Finding inner peace through gratitude walks 2. Shadow work When it comes to finding inner peace and calm, our second suggestion is to engage in shadow work. This transformational practice is based on the idea that our feelings and perceptions about ourselves dominate the way we feel and act towards others. The shadow is the “negative you” or “your dark side”. With shadow work, instead of pushing it to the back of your mind or repressing it (as most of us feel tempted to do), you should explore it. This helps you to learn more about your own prejudices and misconceptions. The basic outline of shadow work looks like this: Acknowledge the negative emotions triggered by some people, news or events. Connect with your shadow and establish a conversation with it. What is it trying to achieve? Is its overall intention positive or negative? In most cases, your shadow holds on to negative emotions to protect you from harm. Can you find other ways of achieving the same without getting caught in a negative circle or without blaming others? Last but not least, remember that peace is not a goal that can be reached through certain mediums, but rather peace is the medium itself. In other words, use peace to bring inner peace by showing kindness and consideration towards your body and mind. For example, loving-kindness meditation has been proven to reduce self-criticism, promote peace with ourselves and others, and generate positive feelings towards strangers. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Loving kindness meditation for inner peace YouTube/LovingKindnessMeditation 3. Cultivating equanimity Cultivating equanimity can also help you to find inner peace and also peace with the outside world. Equanimity is one of the Four Sublime States in the Buddhist tradition, and the word derives from Sanskrit expression that means “to see without interference”. Equanimity is also defined as even-mindedness, a balanced reaction to both positive and negative events or thoughts, and the ability to achieve a state of mind that cannot be affected by bias and prejudice, but that's driven by compassion instead. “Finding ways to promote peace requires mindful action. Basically, you’ll need to disarm the inner world first in order to disarm the outer world.” Cultivating equanimity involves re-wiring your brain through conscious practise. Yoga (especially gratitude yoga) provides the ideal conditions to work on this. Find your equanimity mantra (something that reminds you of the need to stay unbiased), start your yoga session, and take note of any negative reactions triggered by thoughts or people you dislike. Keep referring to your equanimity mantra while acknowledging that you are responsible for your own happiness and peace of mind. Finding peace in the outside world Of course, we should all do our best not only to promote inner peace in our minds, but also in the outside world. To do that, you don’t need to make grand gestures. As Buddhist author and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh said: “Learn the art of making one person happy, and you will learn to express your love for the whole of humanity and all beings.” So, here are 10 easy-to-put-into-action gestures of peace and kindness: Send a heart-felt handwritten card to a friend or relative Compliment a colleague and express how much you appreciate them Offer a small gift (e.g. fruit, biscuits) to the person who delivers your post Donate to a charity shop Volunteering is important. Try it at a shelter or soup kitchen Offer your place in the queue to the person behind you (or try another random act of kindness) Track down an old teacher or lecturer, and send them a note of appreciation Bake some treats and take them to work to share with colleagues Let another driver into your lane Strike up a conversation with a homeless person Meditation can help you to cultivate inner peace shuttertsock/Jack Frog When it comes to finding inner peace and calm in troubled times, it’s important to resist isolation, even if this seems to go against our most basic instincts. For example, you could get involved in community-building initiatives, as this can help establish meaningful conversations with those who hold different views. You can also join non-violence organizations, or learn more about how prejudice and stereotypes affect us by signing up to prejudice reduction workshops or seminars in your local area or online. Conclusions: finding inner peace Finding kindness and peace within yourself and in the world won’t happen overnight, but mindfulness practise, shadow work, cultivating equanimity, and resisting isolation are within the path to hope and joy. To cope with the troubled times we're currently living in, you’ll need to be persistent and willing to challenge your inner self. ● Main image: shutterstock/marvent happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | | Meditation | Volunteering Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Could you be stuck in the happiness trap? Trying to pursue joy at all times? If so, it's time to stop. From practising gratitude to reaffirming your values, these five science-backed tips from Ed Gould will help you to become satisfied with how your life already is. Accepting that you feel happy enough, as opposed to constantly pursuing an idea of what happiness might be, is the route many now choose to discover greater well-being. Indeed, this is the key idea behind escaping the so-called 'happiness trap'. Remember that old REM hit, Shiny Happy People? In it, the lyrics encouraged you to put “it in your heart” where “tomorrow” and “gold and silver shine”. OK, let's not set too much store by a pop song, but it illustrates something important about modern culture: happiness seems to be shiny, attractive and – like gold and silver – material. Now, a jangly pop anthem may not be the best route to understanding what happiness is, but it does suggest the way many people still think about it. However, the pursuit of happiness can often lead us in the wrong direction. This is what today's psychologists refer to as the happiness trap. Let's have a look at what it is exactly, how you can identify the extent to which you might have fallen into it and – perhaps most importantly of all – the five main ways you can escape the happiness trap. The misguided pursuit of happiness According to Greek philosopher Aristotle, happiness involves activity and exhibiting virtue, but the word he chose to describe it was 'eudaimonia'. Often translated as 'happiness', this term is probably better described as 'human flourishing'. We seem quite removed from that sentiment when you consider how contemporary mass culture depicts happiness. Think of all the happy messages the mainstream media bombards us with to begin with. Indeed, ask yourself how many times a day that you might hear that you can be happy – will be happy, even – if only you choose these clothes, that form of transportation or those beauty products. Don't shop 'til your drop: escape the consumerism happiness trap There again, the pursuit of happiness might be marketed as being concurrent with the pursuit of other goals. For example, you may have heard you'll be happy if you pursue your youth – with an anti-wrinkle cream, of course. Or that you'll be happy if you pursue greater wealth by choosing one investment product over another. However, eudaimonia has little to do with any of that. Over the ages, spiritual leaders such as the Dalai Lama have taught us to abandon the relationship between happiness and material wealth. Bear in mind that it's not so much that increased material wealth won't bring you some sort of happiness or temporary life improvement, rather than the detriment it can cause to your perception of happiness. “Escape the happiness trap by setting aside time to recall moments of gratitude. Keep an eye on what really contributes to your happiness.” And although the current generation of Westerners are, by and large, richer than ever before, the variation of how people perceive their level of happiness is still high, to say the least. The happiness trap: what is it exactly? Feeling unhappy or sad is perfectly natural and we all go through ups and downs with our mental health from time to time. However, a general malaise in your sense of happiness may reveal that you are, indeed, stuck in the happiness trap. Furthermore, if you think your personal happiness ties in with the images you might see on TV or in lifestyle magazines, then that's another sure sign. Equally, if you're constantly comparing the level of happiness you feel with that which you perceive in your friends, family, neighbours and colleagues – known as 'keeping up with the Joneses' – then this may also indicate your entrapment of a false perception of happiness. Escaping the happiness trap: 5 strategies Identifying and accepting the state of being happy enough is the key to escaping the happiness trap. If you feel happy enough, then you won't feel the need to carry on pursuing the false idols of materialism. However, deciding to feel happy enough may be easier said than done given our materialistic culture. Indeed, a 2003 psychological study by Schooler, Airey and Loewenstein suggested that pursuing happiness as a goal was doomed to failure anyway. RELATED: Money can't buy happiness (except when you spend it like this) Thankfully, Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky and others offer some useful cognitive and behavioural tips that offer you the best chance of avoiding that empty sensation of not feeling happy enough. So, here are five key techniques you can employ to help you escape the happiness trap. 1. Positive mentality strategies Writing can have a beneficial effect on the way we think about a range of circumstances, including the way we feel about happiness. However, it's not the only positive mental strategy that you can use in a self-regulatory manner. Positive thinking about oneself can come in other reflective forms. Take a look back through old photos of heart-warming and cheerful life events. Or you might prefer to talk about your happiest and unhappiest moments in life with a loved one. RELATED: Future self journaling Another possibility is to have a discussion about your life goals for the future with your partner or a trusted friend. By focusing positivity in this way, you naturally engage less with shorter term aspirations and material objectives. Escape the happiness trap with family time shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 2. Set aside time for gratitude With so much that contributes to modern life pointing you towards the happiness trap, it's a good (and simple) idea to set aside time to recall moments of gratitude. By doing this regularly, you're much better positioned to see past the short-term nature of such messages and to keep an eye on what really contributes to your happiness. For instance, keep a gratitude journal where you count your blessings, such as the love of people close to you or your general health. In addition, writing letters of gratitude can help to reorientate your perspective on what really counts. There's something about the mental activity that goes on during the act of writing that helps to rebalance our cognitive processes and application of this can shape your feelings surrounding happiness. RELATED: The attitude of gratitude – 6 reasons how it will change your life 3. Be altruistic Studies have shown that practising altruism can help you to feel more satisfied and enable you to find happiness. Helping you to understand what is good about your life, altruistic acts are also of benefit to their recipient. Simply making the decision to be kinder and more understanding in your everyday interactions is a good first step. Once you start practising altruism regularly, you'll soon start feeling the power of kindness. “The pursuit of happiness can lead us in the wrong direction. This is what today's psychologists refer to as the happiness trap.” You might consider doing something practical, too, such as donating your blood. Or, by routinely committing to random acts of kindness or trying to make a loved one happy, you'll end up feeling more empowered about how happy you feel and less reliant on what other people think about you. The happiness trap: evolution of the human mind © YouTube/Dr. Russ Harris 4. Reaffirmation of your values Refocussing on your most important values is another key step in accepting the level of happiness you feel. Think of it like restating your marriage vows – if you ever made them, that is – as a means of getting back to basics. By reaffirming the true person that you are, it becomes possible to shake off sometimes years of misguided happiness that has become more and more reliant on a false idea of perfection: one that's modelled on an 'ideal' life as depicted in modern culture so much. Take a step back to focus on what makes you tick and reaffirm your commitment to it. 5. Savour every moment of life By taking the time to savour positive experiences in life, rather than rushing on hedonistically to the next chance of happiness, you're more likely to enjoy the moment. Think of a greedy diner who, enjoying their food, gulps it all down rapidly only to feel disappointed quickly afterwards, compared with someone who savours every mouthful. Both will consume the same amount of food but gain very different experiences from their meal. So, take your time and slow down. See the whole picture. Be mindful about everything. Focus on the positivity of any given situation in order to feel happier in yourself. The happiness trap: conclusions Modern life and the pursuit of joy makes it easy for humans to get stuck in the happiness trap. And, in this era of social media, it's harder to escape comparing your life, experiences and possessions with that of your friends or complete strangers. But, by following our tips based around CBT, you can start to reframe your thoughts and activities to become more satisfied with what you have in life, and – more importantly – who you are. ● Main image: shutterstock/Rawpixel.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Coaching | Acceptance | Learning | Self-care Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's also a practitioner of Reiki.

Extending happiness to those around us is likely to make us happier, too. Sonia Vadlamani explores ideas for spreading love and happiness, and the positive payoff this can deliver. Most of us wait for happiness to chance upon us, be it through a raise at work, finding love or a favorable event. Truth is, happiness is a choice and choosing to maintain a happy vibe constantly takes some dedicated effort and mental training on our behalf. However, what if it were easier to boost your levels of happiness by the way of simply spreading love and happiness around us? Researchers agree that happiness moves in clusters through groups of people and communities. Indeed, in our technology-driven and screen-obsessed era, sometimes we forget that it’s not all about us and that we may need to put back the love and happiness we expect to receive from the world. Therefore, it’s ideal to ingrain the message that happiness begets happiness, as having a more content social circle ensures that our own psychological needs are met with greater ease. Why spread love? “When we feel love and kindness towards others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace,” said His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. Indeed, spreading love and happiness can help us do better and feel better at the same time, as happier people are more helpful. Focusing on creating happiness for others also allows us to attract better outcomes for ourselves, inspiring us to follow our bliss and fulfill our purpose in life. Spreading love to others helps ourselves find peace, too Extending love to others can also aid us in resolving inner turmoil and letting go of resentment and hurt we may have harbored for a long time, enabling us to cultivate our authentic self. Spreading happiness is an effective way to counter negativity, avert hate and overcome prejudice through bridging our differences. 9 ways to spread love and happiness “Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier,” advocated Mother Teresa, the Nobel laureate renowned for her missionary work with the underprivileged. Spreading happiness need not call for grand gestures or extravagant effort. In fact, committing to carry out random acts of kindness is one of the easiest ways to increase happiness around you, research suggests. Here are nine more research-backed suggestions for advocating love and happiness. 1. Strike up a conversation Humans are wired to reach out and seek connections, and the inability to form fulfilling social bonds can create ‘social pain’. This can affect our behavior and outcomes in the same capacity as physical pain, according to Matthew Lieberman, scientist and author of the bestseller book Social. Yet, it can be difficult to start a conversation with strangers, even if you’re simply doing it with the intention to be nicer. RELATED: How to keep connecting with strangers during the pandemic Striking a conversation – be it in the form of a casual complement to a stranger or a healthy discussion with a group of like-minded individuals – can be the key to spreading happiness, as it can put others at ease and establish a connection. It can possibly also help you tap into the power of friendship. However, remember to indulge in positive communication and being respectful, especially when conversing with strangers. 2. Listen without judgment Do you remember feeling supported and understood when you could vent your feelings without judgment and distractions from others? Indeed, offering someone our undivided attention and avoiding the temptation to jump in mid-flow to impose our perspectives can be an effective way of spreading love and happiness. “Spreading love and happiness can help us do better and feel better at the same time. Focusing on creating happiness for others also allows us to attract better outcomes for ourselves.” Sometimes, it helps to take a ‘helicopter view’ of a scenario and remind ourselves that everyone around us maybe going through a struggle of their own, unbeknownst to us. A withdrawn neighbor could be overwhelmed at work, a server who seemed preoccupied today could be dealing with adult bullying, or a friend who has lately been seeming reclusive might be trying to deal with their depression. Practising mindful listening enables us to withhold snap judgments and view a situation from a different, more helpful vantage point. Also, nurturing an age-gap friendship can be a great way to broaden our perspectives and drop any unwanted, pre-conceived notions we may have, in addition to building a mutual support system. 3. Express gratitude An attitude of gratitude can change our lives for the better, according to research. Expressing thankfulness and being appreciative of good things in our lives can help improve relationships with others, lower stress levels and enable better decision making. Choosing gratitude also allows us to cultivate an abundance mindset and tap into our intuition with greater ease. There are several effective ways to practise gratitude, which include keeping a gratitude journal, using visual reminders, formulating gratitude affirmations or simply incorporating gratitude yoga into your daily schedule. 4. Be supportive Our encouraging words and supportive behavior can create a butterfly effect on others, highlighting our ability to create a positive impact in their life. Practise offering constructive criticism whenever you wish to offer useful feedback, albeit in a compassionate manner. A simple hug can spread kindness and love shutterstock/BRO.vector Helping someone cope with holiday grief or somebody having a panic attack, being there for someone recovering from addiction are some of the ways of spreading love by being supportive. Indeed, the simple act of hugging can sometimes offer greater mental benefits than words of encouragement. 5. Indulge in small acts of kindness While volunteering and charity require you to offer your skills and resources for furthering a good cause, there are several easy ways to choose kindness every day, most of which don’t demand a lot of time or effort on your behalf. Spreading love is possible through small gestures, like leaving a bigger tip than expected, holding the lift door open for others, or offering a nutritious meal to a lesser-privileged person. 6. Practise self-compassion While we remember to acknowledge others’ needs and successes, we often forget to validate our own accomplishments. Spreading love and happiness becomes easier when you are kind to yourself and recognize your own worth fully well. Learning to embrace your imperfections and practising self-compassion is important for your well-being, as well as for spreading love around. 7. Stop worrying about others Sometimes, we mistakenly identify excessive worrying and attachment to an outcome as love. However, worrying keeps us hyper-alert against signs of threat. Unfortunately, excessive worrying also thwarts creativity, messes with our goals and can possibly result in trust issues. “Spreading love is possible through small gestures, like leaving a tip, holding the lift for others, or offering a nutritious meal to a lesser-privileged person.” I hail from an Indian family with relatively modern values and an independent outlook, yet it was typical for my parents to worry about my future, life-choices, academic performance and career, etc. While they meant well and assumed that all the excessive worrying was a manifestation of their love for me, I noticed that whenever my parents worried over me, my stress levels would rise. The first step in resolving this could be to stop misidentifying worrying as an expression of love, recognizing that it’s counterproductive, and could even lead to self-sabotaging relationships. I had to finally convince my parents that while I appreciated their kindness and caring, the weight of their worrying was far too burdensome and was adversely impacting my mental health. 8. Learn to relax Have you found yourself juggling too many roles, or nearing a burnout, perhaps due to uncertainty fueled by the COVID-19 pandemic? The key to spreading happiness could lie in devising a better work-life balance and making relaxation a part of your daily schedule as well. Introducing mindfulness at work and taking regular short breaks can aid in boosting your productivity levels and enable improved stress management. Reconnecting with nature periodically with something as simple as gazing at the stars, fishing or forest bathing can help you replace your worries with a sense of rejuvenation and wonder. 9. Learn a life skill (and then teach others) Spreading happiness is possible by using learning and teaching to connect with like-minded people. In fact, learning contributes to happiness and is a powerful way to build a strong network of people and resources. Teaching an essential skill like performing first-aid or CPR, or sharing your know-how regarding a simple hobby like gardening or knitting could make you better equipped to seek and provide social support. Takeaway: spreading love and happiness In the words of Buddhist activist Thich Nhat Hanh, “Learn the art of making one person happy, and you will learn to express your love for the whole of humanity and all beings.” Indeed, researchers point out that happiness is a contagion that can pass from one person to another, through large social networks. Since happiness is a collective phenomenon, spreading love and happiness can boost the well-being quotient for others as well as ourselves. • Main image: shutterstock/BRO.image happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Altruism | Compassion | Happiness Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

There are many different types of meditation. Discovering which style suits you best is useful – you'll be more likely to devote yourself to the practice and so the health benefits will stay with you for longer. Calvin Holbrook looks at ten common meditation types. Meditation has surged in popularity in the Western world in recent years, and there seem to be an ever-increasing number of different types of meditation available to practise. While this can be confusing, what isn't at question is the world of good meditation provides. Indeed, if you've ever asked 'does meditation really work?', the answer is a resounding 'yes'! In fact, research has shown that the effects of meditation include pain reduction, lowered blood pressure and an increased sense of well-being and self-compassion. However, while there are a host of positive claims for the benefits of meditation, there is still much that is not fully understood by science about this ancient practice. Indeed, meditation is sometimes presented by mainstream media as a cure-all. And while recent studies indicate that meditation is effective for anxiety and depression, it doesn't seem to be any more effective than other forms of treatment, such as medication or exercise. With this in mind, how do you decide on what type or style of meditation is best for you? Choose a meditation type that's best for you Commitment to a regular meditation practice is necessary in order to reap the full benefits. Indeed, it's essential to find a personal meditation style or technique that you're comfortable with. That's because finding your preferred form of meditation means you're more likely to continue with it. But, in fact, there's no right or wrong way to meditate. We suggest that you should choose a type that speaks to you spiritually. Try a few of these styles of meditation and see what you enjoy most. Which type of meditation should I choose? Below, we'll describe eight of the most common meditation types or techniques. Before reading on, ask yourself the following questions that will help you discover your best personal style of meditation: Are you trying to empty your mind or focus it? Do you find it easy to focus when sitting still or do you find it easier when active? Do you find sounds distracting or calming? Do you want others to benefit from your meditation practice also? When assessing the effects of a particular style, you may find it helpful to keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings during and after a sitting. So, explore the ten meditation types listed below and find what works for you... 1. Focused meditation Suitable for beginners and those who need assistance in focusing. Science has shown that practising meditation over years can cause the grey matter in the brain to increase in area, so it's well worth finding a form of meditation that will help you persevere. The focused meditation style concentrates on the senses. Visualization is when you focus on a mental image of an object, such as a light or a flower. This is a commonly-used technique. Occasionally you may be asked to focus on other senses, like sound or touch. Other focus points include breathing and the flow of energy through your body. RELATED: Visualization meditation – how to practise it 2. Mantra meditation One of the best meditation styles for those who find silence distracting and find relaxation and peace in repetition. Mantra meditation has been practised for thousands of years. You simply chant or recite a 'mantra', such as the mystical Sanskrit word 'Om' (claimed to be the origin of all sound). Whether you whisper it mentally or chant aloud, repetition allows your mind to relax. Alternatively, you could choose an inspirational phrase that's personal to you. Mantra meditation can be practised in a group or individually. Mantra meditation is a style for those who don't enjoy silence 3. Transcendental meditation (TM) A meditation style that may suit a person looking for a more structured form. Or committed beginners who are ready for a regular practice. Founded by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and with more than five million practitioners worldwide, transcendental meditation (TM) is the style which has received the most attention from science. For example, research by the AHA has shown that TM can reduce hypertension. “Science has shown that practising a meditation technique over years can cause the grey matter in the brain to actually increase in area.” Instead of just following the breath, transcendental meditation uses a series of Sanskrit words and mantras to help you focus. Every student is given an individual mantra, based on factors like gender or birth year. The recommendation for transcendental meditation is to practise it in a comfortable seated position, for 20 minutes twice a day. Vedic meditation is another variation. 4. Spiritual meditation If you thrive in silence, spiritual meditation may be your best personal meditation style. Science shows that spiritual meditation can be helpful in lowering high blood pressure and preventing heart disease. Similar to prayer, spiritual meditation allows the practitioner to reach a more reflective and contemplative state through various elements. Whether at home or in a place of worship, you embrace the silence and gradually allow your mind to wander over a personal question or prayer. Some people find that the answer to their deepest questions comes from within. While others feel that they answer comes from outside – from God or the universe. 5. Mindfulness meditation May suit someone who has no regular access to a group or teacher. Buddhist teachings base themselves on mindfulness meditation. It's an umbrella term for meditation techniques that teach us to accept everything that arises without judgement. To address things that occur and release stress as it arises while nurturing a surrender to things that we cannot change. Studies show that mindfulness meditation can be an effective treatment for episodes of depression. It's possible to practise this style of meditation alone, making it particularly suitable for those who do not have access to a class or teacher. Furthermore, like many styles of meditation, it requires minimal effort. Mindful meditation is a perfect type for when you're alone 6. Gratitude meditation May suit someone who wants to practise meditation at any time throughout the day. Gratitude meditation is one of the easiest styles of meditation you can try and you can also practise it anywhere, even on the go. This meditation type involves meditating on the things you're thankful for and allowing that appreciative sensation to take a stronghold within. The benefits include greater sense of well-being, improved mental health and stronger personal relationships. 7. Vipassana meditation For experienced meditators considering exploring even deeper within themselves. Vipassana means 'to see things as they really are'. Vipassana is one of the most ancient techniques of meditation. In fact, it's believed to be the meditation form taught by the Buddha himself. Vipassana meditation is a method of self-transformation through self-observation and focuses on the deep interconnection between the mind and body. “Commitment to a type of meditation is necessary in order to reap the full benefits. Indeed, it's essential to find a personal meditation style that you're comfortable with.” Ten-day silent retreats where you can develop the Vipassana meditation technique are popular. Communication of any kind during these events is usually strictly prohibited. It’s recommended that if you want to try a ten-day retreat that you already have a basic knowledge of meditation and have experience in sustaining long periods of quiet and calm. 8. Six phase meditation Ideal for those who want to boost compassion, happiness and productivity. Six phase meditation is a newer meditation technique that combines the science behind how our brain works with advice on spiritual growth. This six-step guided meditation tackles common roadblocks in meditation practice and requires up to 20 minutes daily. This style of meditation involves meditating on the following six things: connection, gratitude, forgiveness, visualization, daily intention blessing. The main goals of 6 phase meditation are lowering anxiety and stress, connecting with your intuitive and creative side, becoming more compassionate and fulfilled, and increasing happiness and productivity. 9. Movement meditation May suit you if your mind becomes distracted when you're still. Or if you sit at a desk all day and prefer to find tranquillity through action. Movement meditation is a broad category of active meditation styles. Gentle, repetitive movements such as hatha yoga, a walk through the woods during forest bathing, gardening, or even housework help to clear your mind and keep it in the moment. Research by scientists at Oregon University found a significant decrease in pain experienced by fibromyalgia patients who practised this meditation type. Movement meditation suits active types of people 10. Loving kindness meditation Ideal for those who want to boost compassion, connection and self-acceptance. Loving kindness is a popular meditation technique used to increase capacity for forgiveness, connection and self-acceptance. During loving kindness, you focus loving energy toward yourself and to others – even those you make dislike or total strangers. While meditating, try to imagine yourself experiencing complete wellness and inner peace. Feel perfect love for yourself, content that you're just right. While concentrating on this joyous feeling of love and kindness, repeat these positive phrases to yourself (or create your own): May I be happy May I be safe May I be healthy, peaceful, and strong May I give and receive appreciation today Bask in those feelings of warmth and self-compassion for some moments before shifting your focus to loved ones. Start with someone who you're very close to, and feel your gratitude and love for them. Repeat the reassuring phrases for them: may you be happy and safe. Next, branch out to other friends and family members and repeat the meditation technique. It's important to try it with people you may dislike or do not naturally connect with. Finally, extend feelings of loving kindness to people around the globe and focus on a feeling of connection and compassion. Tonglen meditation is a similar type of meditation and also shares a purpose of focussing on compassion and healing others. Takeaway: types of meditation There are a multitude of meditation techniques and styles to discover. Try practising a few different ones to see which are best suited to your lifestyle. For most people, meditation induces calmness, relaxation and a sense of well-being. Meditation should not be a optimization goal in-and-of itself but rather a means of developing self-compassion and peace. Be wary of pushing on with a meditation practice if it feels counter-productive. ● Main image: Colorbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Mindfulness | Compassion | Kundalini meditation Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our magazine and is a lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage. Find out more.