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Journaling isn’t just for teenagers. As Arlo Laibowitz explains, jotting down your thoughts, plans and reflections helps with self-development and is scientifically-proven to prevent depression. Try these seven creative journaling ideas and discover the multiple benefits these techniques will bring to your life. Many of us have started writing a diary or journal at some points in our lives. And many of us have also stopped writing in them not that much later! Indeed, many famous artists, writers, entrepreneurs, inventors, and thinkers keep – or have kept – journals, and there are many different journaling techniques and ideas you can try. For many, it's a creative necessity and outlet. For some, it's a place for exploration, and yet for others, journaling is an art form in itself. In fact, journaling can be enriching and fulfilling on many levels. It can lead to insights, personal growth, and setting and achieving goals. Journals record our ideas, thoughts, feelings and reflections. In doing so, they create a through-line in our life; a place of refuge and reflection, that we can visit and revisit. Keeping a journal is a proven technique to develop personal growth Personally, I started journaling years ago, as part of the Morning Papers practice of The Artist’s Way. I've written notebooks full of journal entries related to personal growth, gratitude, creative development, project ideas, personal insecurities, blocked traumas, to-do-lists, goals, dreams and much more. Indeed, I've tried types of journaling for weeks or months at a time – and have also not journaled for weeks in between entries. Every time I come back to the practice and sustain it on a regular basis, I feel I can go deeper; explore things more explicitly, and in the process, experience a wonderful journey to my interior. “There are many journaling techniques and ideas you can try. For many, it's a creative necessity and outlet. For others, it's an art form in itself.” So, what are the benefits of journaling? What different journaling ideas and techniques can we employ? And how do we go about starting and – more importantly – sustaining a daily journaling habit? What are the benefits of journaling? Journaling has been identified as a so-called 'keystone habit' – a habit that is defining and catalyses more habits – in multiple studies. As Charles Duhig writes in The Power of Habit, these keystones are “small changes or habits that people introduce into their routines that unintentionally carry over into other aspects of their lives.” Furthermore, the benefits of journaling are emotional, cognitive, creative, and possibly even spiritual. Using creative journaling techniques helps us to: Clarify our thoughts and feelings, reducing internal conflict Release thoughts and emotions, by recognizing and tracking them Increase focus while deepening our learning and problem solving Boost stability and help us let go of the past. Resolve disagreements with others, by detaching ourselves from the conflict and reflecting on it Furthermore, studies show that specifically keeping a gratitude journal offers some added benefits. In fact, people that keep a gratitude journal have been shown to be happier, healthier, more balanced, and generally more optimistic. Furthermore, they are less self-centered, less susceptible to feelings of envy, more relaxed, and better in decision-making. Journaling Techniques: 6 Ideas to Try There are many different methods of journaling you can benefit from. Here are six creative journaling ideas to get you started. You can always try more than one technique at a time and discover what suits you best. 1. Ten Minute Routine An easy creative journaling technique to begin with is practising the Ten Minute routine. Before going to bed, ask yourself so-called “requests” – the things that you're trying to accomplish currently in life – and write them down. Then, in the morning, write down your answers and thoughts on these questions. This way of journaling is especially efficient to review and sharpen your to-do-list and life vision, as they become forged in your subconscious mind. 2. Stream of Consciousness Another tried and tested creative journaling idea is writing daily in a stream of consciousness. Note down any thought, memory, to-do-list, feeling, drawing, or whatever else pops up. Just let it flow as you write, without trying to censor or edit yourself. Keep going until everything in your 'stream of consciousness' is on the page. Start your day with journaling and a clearer mind 3. Morning Memories Another different journaling technique is writing 'morning memories daily'. Schedule your journaling session each morning, before you start your day. Use the same journal every day, sit in the same spot, and when you’re done writing, take time to reflect on what you've written and accomplished in that session. RELATED: Morning Meditation: The Secret To A Great Day 5 Reasons to Make Your Bed Every Day The 7 Steps to Take When Nothing Makes You Happy Anymore 4. Gratitude Journaling Probably the most researched journaling technique is the gratitude journal, as mentioned earlier. For maximum benefit, take 15 minutes per day, three to four times a week, to journal about what you're grateful for on that day. Be specific, choose depth of gratitude over breadth, and try to get personal (being thankful to people is more efficient than to things). Make a note of seeing good things as a gift, as well as savouring surprises and unexpected events. 5. Intensive journal A comprehensive method of journaling is using the intensive journal process. This copyrighted process, which can be learned in specialised workshops, enables the person journaling to get to know themselves on profound levels. The Intensive Journal Workbook is a large notebook filled with paper and divided into four dimensions of human experience: Life/Time, Dialogue, Depth and Meaning. Each of these aspects is divided into several subsections to work through in the path that the method prescribes. Some of these paragraphs are used to write about our memory of the events of our lives as well as dreams and images. Others are more geared towards stimulating insights and creative activity. 6. Ensō drawing There are various techniwues of journaling. We can choose a traditional way, with pen and paper, or write in an electronic journal, or even add art practices to our journaling, such as drawings or collages, or even specialised forms like ensō drawing. “People that keep a gratitude journal are happier, healthier, more balanced, and generally more optimistic.” Ensō originated in the Japanese Zen Buddhist tradition and these circles are considered sacred symbols that represent infinity and enlightenment, emptiness, balance and harmony. Made with one breath and one continuous movement of a brush or pen, the ensō represents the oneness of life and impermanence of the moment. Our vulnerabilities and strengths are all wrapped up in that circle. As drawing an ensō only takes a moment, you could incorporate this practice alongside one of the other journaling techniques listed. 7. Future Self Journaling Future self journaling is one of the newest journal techniques to gain attention. The practice essentially entails getting in touch with your inner self and manifesting the future you want. It works with employing a positive outlook, which helps you overcome creative blocks and navigate life in a more focused way. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Let Go of the Past: 9 Techniques to Try 7 Ways to Tap Into Your Intuition 31 Shadow Work Prompts For Your Psychological Journey Future self journaling involves focusing on your behavior and creating affirmations and strategies to make real changes to them to propel you to a better place. How to Journal Daily There are an endless list of things to journal about and sometimes it can be hard to sustain this healthy practice. Likewise, there are as many ways to initiate and maintain your journaling as there are different forms of journaling. Here are some ideas to keep you at it: A simple way to start journaling is by starting every day with writing down tasks and goals that you have for that day. Only write a few items, to make it easy to start and make progress. It's useful to mix personal and professional things. By keeping each journal entry short in the beginning, it's easy to do. At the end of each day, look back at what you've accomplished, what you've learned, what you want to explore further, and what you want to pursue the next day. Journaling techniques: start putting pen to paper Once you've developed a basic journaling practice, you can dig deeper and expand on it. Some commonly held beliefs and ‘best practices’ include: Writing about where you are in your life at this moment, and building on that in subsequent journal entries. Starting a dialogue with your inner child by writing in your non-dominant hand, and switching back to your dominant hand. For sustaining your gratitude practice, maintaining a daily list of things you appreciate. Starting a journal of self-portraits; draw, write, or collage who you are today, and learn to appreciate and develop yourself. Keeping a nature diary to connect with the natural world: record what you experience in looking at the sky, experiences and how you feel in different weather, or walks in nature. Maintaining a log of successes, starting with big ones that you remember, and then add them as they occur. This can be strengthening to go back to when you are feeling low. Keeping a playlist of your favourite songs. Write about the moods and memories they trigger. If there’s something you're struggling with or an event that’s disturbing you, write about it in the third person to create distance and perspective. Journal Techniques: Travels to Our Interior Journaling is a powerful habit that enables us to get a more in-depth and clearer understanding of the thoughts, feelings and issues we're working through. Whether we use journaling to accompany our meditation, forgiveness, or gratitude practices, or to work through emotional trauma or creative stumble blocks, a daily practice enables us to focus and develop further. Trying different creative journaling techniques and ideas has given me many benefits in life. I wish you the same journey as you explore your journaling practice. ● Images: Rawpixel.com, dekazigzag, Vergani Fotografia happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Goal setting | Mindfulness | Burnout Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.
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How to Find Happiness Within: 5 Ways to Build Inner Joy
Calvin77 posted an article in PERSONAL GROWTH
True happiness comes from within, but it takes work. The good thing is, all of us can learn how to develop it. From cultivating resilience to showing gratitude, Sonia Vadlamani explores five science-backed techniques that build lasting inner happiness and joy. For the longest time, I believed happiness to be something that came from outside – like getting a promotion at work, traveling to a dream destination with my partner, or purchasing something from my wishlist. And yes, indeed, these events do make me happy. But in reality I find I’m actually much happier on the days I have some quality “me time” to enjoy all my favourite leisure activities and connect with the people I love. This observation, coupled with research on happiness, helped me understand the simple and profound truth: happiness comes from within – happiness is an inside job. This holds true for most of us: while external events can definitely make us joyful, we also have inherent values and needs that we derive happiness from just the same. The best part? We don’t need to wait for external outcomes to feel content; we just need to learn how to tap into these sources of lasting happiness. Indeed, happiness is a choice, and science shows that true happiness comes from within, consistently and reliably, when we take small, intentional steps to achieve it, every single day. What does it mean to find happiness within? When we talk about finding inner happiness, we refer to what researchers in positive psychology call “internal happiness”, or a steady sense of well-being and contentment that stems from within and doesn’t rely on external circumstances. Unlike the fleeting happiness that we experience from external events like winning some money on the lottery or attending a concert, intrinsic happiness isn’t temporary, but rather a stable foundation for contentment and peace of mind. Where does happiness come from? Start the search within... In contrast, external happiness relies heavily on outside events, possessions and achievements. While these are undeniably necessary for life satisfaction, they only tend to boost our mood and improve happiness levels temporarily. In fact, a study of Stanford student-athletes living under immense pressure revealed that intrinsic factors like mindfulness, self-restraint, and self-esteem were stronger predictors of happiness than external factors such as playing time and scholarships. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Find Happiness: 11 Science-Backed Tips What is Happiness Exactly, Anyway? Discover the 10 Keys to Happier Living Another study by researchers Christopher P Niemiec et al. suggests that while the quest for external happiness alone can adversely impact well-being, focusing on intrinsic happiness benefits one’s psychological health, emphasizing the need for balance between external and internal forms of happiness. “Developing mindful awareness is key to finding happiness within yourself, as savoring the 'now' requires us to pay attention to events unfolding around you.” These findings highlight the need to develop traits that can help us find true happiness from within, enabling us to navigate life’s uncertainties better and build resilience. It’s also important to know that happiness can’t always stem entirely from within, especially for someone with a mental health condition like depression or anxiety, who may need to seek professional help for managing their condition and finding relief. How to Find Happiness Within Yourself The quest for finding happiness within yourself doesn’t mean ignoring external events and life milestones, but rather developing skills and practices that help maintain a sense of peace and inner contentment even through challenging times. So, here are five science-backed ways to help you learn how to find happiness within yourself. Incorporate them into your life one at a time to help build long-lasting joy and contentment. 1. Learn to live fully in the present A Harvard study that tracked the thoughts and moods of 2,250 participants found that humans spend nearly 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re doing, and that this impacts happiness. Published in Science, this research corroborated a profound truth: the human capacity to capture joy depends largely on being present in the moment. Indeed, research suggests that ruminating over the past or worrying about the future can fuel negativity and reduce life satisfaction. On the other hand, immersing ourselves fully in the present – wholly engaging with the task at hand – regulates our nervous system and enables a flow state characterized by complete absorption. This can further help instill a sense of control, putting a stop to repetitive thoughts. Develop mindful awareness (and increased happiness) through breathwork Indeed, developing mindful awareness is key to building inner happiness, as savouring the “now” requires us to pay attention to the events unfolding around you. Simple mindfulness practices that can help improve your mood and elevate inner happiness levels include: focusing on your breathing. tuning into what you see, hear and feel at the moment, like eating, walking and doing daily chores. gently bringing your attention back to the present moment when it wanders (it will). setting time aside for mindfulness meditation. 2. Practice radical acceptance If being mindful pertains to developing awareness, acceptance is how we process and respond to this awareness, especially when faced with failure, loss or imperfections. Indeed, a comprehensive review of six correlated studies by researchers Daniel T Cordaro et al. suggests that inner contentment is a distinct positive emotion that is central to overall well-being and happiness. Embracing life as it is, therefore, is a crucial requirement for how happiness comes from within. This endeavor requires us to be aware of and accept the various emotions, imperfections, fears, and desires that make us all essentially human. MORE LIKE THIS: Happiness is a State of Mind: 8 Ways to Develop It Is Happiness Genetic? Here's What Science Says How Can Happiness Be Measured? Radical acceptance relies on practicing self-compassion, which means treating yourself with the same kindness you would show a good friend during a difficult time. It also involves understanding that errors and failure are a part of being human, not personal flaws. Here are some ways to practice radical awareness and self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Evaluate your feelings with a gentle approach, not harsh self-judgment. When you notice a mistake or flaw, approach the emotions with kind observance and speak to yourself with genuine warmth. Remember that you’re not alone in your struggles – everyone faces challenge in their lives. Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and limitations. 3. Cultivate inner resilience Resilience, or the capacity to recover from difficult situations and adapt to life's challenges, is a key predictor for finding happiness within yourself. In fact, a study by researchers Steven M. Southwick et al. revealed that resilient individuals don’t encounter fewer challenges in life; they simply react to them differently. Therefore, your ability to adapt to adversities and overcome challenges can be the answer to how to find inner happiness and well-being. The first step toward developing resilience is reframing your perspective about life’s uncertainties and embracing the unknown. Resilient people look at difficulties as opportunities to learn, not threats to their happiness, and are adept at ‘lemonading’ – making the best of the situation at hand. “Individuals who understand that true happiness comes from within are also more resilient and more capable of bouncing back from life’s trials.” Adopting a growth mindset is another crucial aspect of resilience. Challenge yourself by stepping out of your comfort zone and attempting something that feels uncomfortable. Also, remember to celebrate small wins by tuning your mind to recognize and enjoy the smallest efforts and progress, instead of waiting to celebrate loftier milestones. 4. Develop a gratitude routine There’s more to gratitude than just saying thanks – emerging research suggests it’s a powerful practice that can help rewire our brains to weed out toxic emotions and significantly improve our happiness levels. How to find happiness from within? Keep a gratitude journal A study at University of California, Berkeley, involving 300 participants seeking mental health counseling revealed that the mental health benefits of gratitude practice can be experienced even when it's not communicated to others. While the benefits of gratitude – like improved inner happiness, reduced mental stress, and an optimistic outlook – take time to emerge, they create a positive snowball effect with consistent practice. To cultivate an attitude of gratitude, try these things daily: Write down three things you’re grateful for in your gratitude journal. Express gratitude to people you’re thankful for having in your life. Acknowledge moments of kindness and beauty throughout the day. Set time aside to practice gratitude meditation to truly appreciate all the things you’re thankful for. 5. Nurture meaningful connections While true happiness comes from within, we’re essentially social beings, and having close relationships is a fundamental need for a long, healthy life. Spending time with those you care for helps release happiness hormones, namely serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin. These are also released when you exercise, so in a way, spending quality time with your loved ones is almost as beneficial as getting a workout. To strengthen your relationships: Practice mindful listening and empathy. Really hear others out without judgment or bias. Trust your close friends and family enough to share your authentic self, and avoid the vulnerability hangover trap. Show up consistently, whether to celebrate their wins or be a shoulder to lean on during tough times. Connect over activities you collectively enjoy, like hiking, volunteering or joining a book club. Where does happiness come from? Friends are a key source Inner Happiness: Clear Health Benefits The happiness derived from savoring life’s small joys is also associated with several other positive outcomes considered the “hallmarks of a happy person”, such as long-lasting relationships, more successful careers, and better health. Individuals who understand that true happiness comes from within are also more capable of bouncing back from life’s trials and uncertainties with better stress-management and decision-making abilities. In essence, the ability to tap into inner happiness helps us experience more positive emotions and achieve more favorable outcomes in terms of success and improved life satisfaction. Takeaway: Happiness Comes From Within Happiness is a journey, and while the path to inner happiness isn’t easy, it is accessible to everyone. As demonstrated by the ample research above, everyone has the ingredients necessary to cultivate lasting joy within ourselves – the practices discussed here simply help you uncover and nurture the happiness that already exists within you. Indeed, in a world that constantly tells us happiness is bound to result from the next purchase or milestone, finding happiness within yourself is a practical and responsible step towards ensuring your well-being. ● Images: feodorina, Peopleimages.com - Yuri A, Oksana Klymenko, Jacob Lund happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Self care | Empathy | Letting go | Acceptance Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram. -
Prioritizing Yourself: How I Learnt to Put Myself First
Calvin77 posted an article in PERSONAL GROWTH
Sonia Vadlamani explores why making yourself a priority is an essential form of self-care. Learn how to put yourself first guilt-free with these 6 science-backed methods. Plus, get inspired for self-prioritization with some well-known 'put yourself first' quotes. For me, the need to put myself first began with a late-night phone call from a panicked former boss. It was close to 11pm on one of my leave days. I answered reluctantly, only to hear my ex-boss shouting about an incomplete presentation that wasn’t my responsibility – for a client meeting I wasn’t even a part of. “They left it incomplete,” she barked, “and I need your help right now to finish it. My meeting depends on this.” For context, I’d worked on the initial presentation that had helped bring this client in, but not since. Despite my will, my first instinct was to say, “Yes, of course! What do you need?” However, I stopped halfway through to ask myself: 'What’s compelling me to say yes when all I want to do is curl up in bed with a book? ' The answer was shockingly plain – I’d fallen into the habit of putting the needs of others before prioritizing myself. This often left me with burnout and exhaustion, not to mention the frustration and resentment of letting myself down. So, I mustered the courage and told my power-hungry former-boss: “Sorry, I can’t help you. I was just about to head to bed. All the best with your presentation, though.” Prioritize Yourself: Self-care and practice self-compassion While saying this wasn’t easy, it helped me identify an unhelpful pattern I'd carried for years. As I noticed the different scenarios where I put others first – often at the cost of my mental and emotional wellbeing – it became painfully clear that I needed to build healthy boundaries, not just at the workplace but in my personal life as well. The other surprising lesson: it’s important to consider your own needs and put yourself first sometimes in order to be more genuinely helpful for others. The oxygen mask analogy from airline safety makes complete sense in this context – you can only assist others after your own oxygen supply is secured! Similarly, we’re better equipped to care for others only once our own physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing are in check. Indeed, prioritizing yourself is essential. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddha Yet, many of us have somehow convinced ourselves that going above and beyond to fulfill others’ needs is what makes us “better” humans. Experts caution, however, that selflessness can turn into self-sabotage if left unchecked. What is Healthy Selfishness? Contrary to the common perception, healthy selfishness isn’t about neglecting your loved ones or abandoning responsibilities in a narcissistic pursuit. Rather, it’s about realizing that making yourself the priority forms the foundation for everything else in life to function smoothly. You can envision this concept as the difference between a vessel that is replenished and overflowing versus one that’s been drained of its essence. MORE LIKE THIS: When to End a Friendship and How to Do it With Kindness Self-Validation: How to Validate Yourself in 5 Steps I Feel Unheard: Why Does Nobody Listen To Me? Interestingly, psychology experts describe healthy selfishness and pathological altruism as the two paradoxical forms of selfishness, underlining that not all selfishness is necessarily bad, and not all altruism is essentially good. Practicing healthy selfishness, in fact, plays a key role in shaping our sense of self and helping us determine our preferences for people and activities we prefer to engage with (or step away from). “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” Jack Kornfield, Buddhist teacher and author As Dr Scott Barry Kaufman, professor of psychology at Columbia University and host of The Psychology Podcast, suggests, “Loving people have love toward themselves, and it is precisely this affirmation of their own unique self, happiness, growth, and freedom that allows them to love others.” Why is making yourself a priority important? Indeed, it’s true that selflessness – through acts of kindness, radical empathy, and volunteering – can boost happiness. A comprehensive study by psychologists from four universities across Canada revealed that generosity can even improve resilience during challenging times. Put yourself first by setting healthy boundaries However, healthy selfishness isn’t about halting acts of kindness or withdrawing care from others. It simply means prioritizing your own well-being by extending the same kindness and care to yourself first so that you can be in a better position - physically, mentally, and emotionally – to help others. Prioritizing yourself in healthy ways ensures that you feel more fulfilled and happier overall, more present in your relationships, more productive at work, and more resilient during tough times. How to Put Yourself First: 6 Strategies Psychologist Ronald Stolberg describes healthy selfishness as taking charge of meeting your physical, mental, emotional, and social needs. Here are some practical ways I’ve learnt to put myself first without feeling guilty, and you should try them too. 1. Cultivate self-compassion Developing empathy and a kind relationship with yourself is one of the most crucial aspects of putting yourself first. Research even suggests that self-compassion is a strong indicator of overall wellbeing. Practicing self-compassion involves: Acknowledging the myriad emotions you experience, without rushing to fix them. Accepting that mistakes make us human. Speaking to yourself with the same kindness you’d show a loved one. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes. 2. Set and maintain healthy boundaries Establishing clear limits across different aspects of your life – and communicating the same to those around you – is essential for wellbeing. According to Lydia Hall, the eminent nursing theorist who developed Care, Cure, Core, it’s important to regard healthy boundaries as “fences, not walls” – that enable connection while “protecting your personal space.” Here’s what healthy boundaries can look like: Communicating your needs and preferences clearly with romantic partners, family, or friends. Conveying the need for maintaining individual interests and friendships to your romantic partner so that neither partner feels they’ve lost their identity in the relationship. At the workplace, defining your work hours and refraining from checking emails when not at work. Learning to delegate tasks, which a study of almost 11,000 leaders worldwide found to be a gamechanger for reducing stress and preventing burnout. Taking regular breaks from work and daily chores to indulge in activities that you enjoy. 3. Master the art of saying no While saying no can seem daunting, it’s an effective way to create boundaries to stop feeling overwhelmed and emotionally overloaded. Remember, disappointing someone temporarily by saying no is far healthier than burning yourself out trying to accommodate everyone else’s needs. “Self-love is an ocean, and your heart is a vessel. Make it full, and any excess will spill over into the lives of the people you hold dear. But you must come first.” Beau Taplin, Author The reality is that by making yourself a priority, each “no” now means saying “yes” to something you appreciate more. For instance, declining a social event or turning down a coffee invite from an energy vampire helps you create space for doing what you love instead. MORE LIKE THIS: 8 Essential Life Lessons From RuPaul Charles How to Find Happiness Within: 5 Ways to Build Inner Joy Tragic Optimism: An Antidote to Toxic Positivity 4. Make self-care a part of your daily routine There’s more to self-care than bubble teas, face masks, and spa days. It’s a vital part of putting yourself first without feeling guilty, given that a lack of self-care has been shown to cause burnout and compassion fatigue. Including self-care in your daily routine can look like: Including ten minutes of conscious breathing exercises or mindful meditation in your day. Taking care of your physical health through regular exercise, nutritious meals, and restful sleep of at least 7 hours. Sparing a few minutes for gratitude journaling to appreciate everything you have going for you. Stepping out for short strolls during a hectic workday. Setting aside time for hobbies like gardening, knitting, or anything else that sparks joy. Spending time with friends who uplift and energize you. Checking in with your mental health regularly and asking for help when needed. 5. Seek balance Indeed, acts of kindness and volunteering for causes you care about can boost happiness and make life more meaningful. However, helping others should never happen at the cost of your peace of mind, strain your closest relationships, or hinder your work. The key is to find balance – devise a win-win approach where your generosity results in positive experiences for everyone while leaving you fulfilled; not weighed down. All smiles: make yourself a priority 6. Invest in your future self Investing in your personal growth and goals is a fundamental aspect of healthy selfishness. While there's no magic recipe to ensure all your goals are achieved with ease, you can begin by setting so-called SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound). “You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.” Eleanor Brown, Author Indeed, goal setting isn’t the end of the story but an ongoing process. Review your progress periodically and revisit the ones you couldn’t focus on earlier. Don’t forget to celebrate small wins and any milestones along the way. Takeaway: How to Put Yourself First Shifting your perspective to healthy selfishness and self-prioritization is the first step toward putting yourself first. Know that looking after your interests should be instinctive, not a luxury. Remember, healthy selfishness is all about being self-focused, not “self-absorbed.” Putting yourself first doesn’t harm others or halt progress. Instead, it simply means that you’re pausing to recharge so you can bring your A-game to everything you do and be your best, authentic self. Find inspiration from our words and 'put yourself first' quotes and start prioritizing yourself! ● Images ShotPrime Studio, Nadia Snopek, Dima Berlin happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Self care | Empathy | Acceptance Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram. -
Are chakras real? While not tangible, the importance of chakras within multiple traditions suggests they are. Rachel Markowitz explains the meaning, locations and colors of the seven main chakras, plus the mantras and yoga asanas that activate these unique energy centres. I was introduced to chakras during a yoga teaching training class when a teacher instructed me to chant “ham” repeatedly while inverted in a shoulder stand. This, the instructor said, would open my throat chakra, which was linked to my insecurities, and radically improve my life. At the time, this seemed odd; I didn’t know what a throat chakra was, why it might be closed, how opening it would be helpful, or how chanting upside-down might facilitate this! However, I can now admit that, as a yoga instructor myself, I’ve suggested similar practices to students for a multitude of reasons. Since chakras are not part of the physical body, they often remain a mystery. However, a basic understanding of energetic anatomy is a powerful tool for harmonizing body, mind, and spirit. Let's explore the chakra system together and discover some tips to help ensure your energy flows freely. What are Chakras? Chakras are moving centers of concentrated energy located in the subtle (energetic) body. In Sanskrit, chakra translates to wheel, which serves as an appropriate visual representation of these spinning energy disks. Chakras were first mentioned in the Vedas thousands of years ago – a series of texts that form the basis of Indian philosophy, all branches of yoga, and Ayurvedic medicine – and were later described in the Upanishads, Yoga Sutras, and Tantric texts. There are numerous systems for identifying and classifying these energetic vortexes, and most traditions suggest that we have over 100 chakras throughout the subtle body. It' possible to work on activating chakras during yoga However, according to most modern-day yoga teachings, seven chakras are particularly significant. These major chakras are located along our main energetic channel, Sushumna Nadi, ascending from the base of the spine to slightly above the crown of the head. Chakras govern certain aspects of our physical body, mind, and spiritual path. Each of the seven main chakras corresponds to a color and is depicted by a lotus flower with specific geometrical and symbolic qualities. Each chakra also has a corresponding bija, or seed, mantra. Furthermore, the first five chakras are linked to an element (the last two chakras relate to existence beyond the elements). In an ideal state of being, all chakras are open and aligned. Other healthy-chakra descriptions include “activated,” “balanced,” or “unblocked.”) Why Learn About Chakras? Understanding each chakra and its role in our composition can help us see patterns in our overall well-being, identify and heal imbalances and chakra blockages, and strengthen the body, mind, and aura. RELATED: Yoga For Happiness: Gratitude Yoga Kundalini Meditation: 4 Key Benefits and How to Practise It Fasting and Autophagy: Ancient Wisdom Chakras also offer a unique perspective on the connection between our internal and external worlds. For healing, we can work to clear and balance energy in the entire body or focus on each chakra individually. Either way, when we take the time to ensure that prana, or life-force energy, is moving without constrictions or resistance in the energetic body, we encourage optimal health – from the inside out. Exploring the Major Chakras The seven main energy centers are divided into three lower chakras, which relate to the Earth and the individual self, and three higher chakras, which connect us to the universe and spirit. The higher and lower chakras come together at the heart chakra, located in the center of the chest, at the level of our anatomical heart. “Chakras govern certain aspects of our physical body, mind, and spiritual path. Each of the seven main chakras corresponds to a color and is depicted by a lotus flower with specific geometrical and symbolic qualities.” Below is a description of each of the seven major chakras, including location, associations, symbol, color, and mantra – along with a short list of suggested yoga practices that promote chakra health. For strengthening, unblocking, or healing an ailment related to a certain chakra, you can visualize a light at its location, focus on its symbol, chant its mantra, incorporate its color in your daily life, or practice the postures or breathing techniques listed in each section. The 7 main chakras, colors and locations within the human body 1. Root (Muladhara) Chakra The root chakra governs the health of the lower body, from the feet to the hips. In life, it’s connected to basic survival, primal instincts, and foundational physical and material needs. Location: Base of the spine; pelvic floor Color and Symbol: Red lotus flower with four petals Element: Earth Mantra: Lam. Recommended Yoga Practices: Warrior poses, lunges, balancing postures, seated positions 2. Sacral (Svadisthana) Chakra In the physical body, the sacral chakra energetically controls our hips, sexual organs, and reproductive health. It’s also connected to desire, emotional stability, sexuality, pleasure, and anything we create. Location: Below the navel Color and Symbol: Orange lotus flower with six petals Element: Water Mantra: Vam. Recommended Yoga Practices: Happy Baby pose, Goddess pose, hip openers 3. Solar Plexus (Manipura) Chakra The solar plexus chakra is related to the core of our body and our digestive system. Mentally and emotionally, this chakra governs strength, confidence, willpower, ego, and the way we assimilate or “digest” information. It’s strongly linked to the concept of tapas in yoga, our inner fire. Location: Center of the body; near the abdomen and below the ribcage Color and Symbol: Yellow lotus flower with 10 petals Element: Fire Mantra: Ram. Recommended Yoga Practices: Boat pose, twists, Breath of Fire 4. Heart (Anahata) Chakra As mentioned earlier, Anahata chakra is the place where the upper and lower chakras join together at the heart center. In our bodies, this chakra governs the area around the chest, anatomical heart, and lungs. In our lives, the heart chakra is related to love (of self and others), relationships, trust, and compassion. Location: Center of the chest at heart level Color and Symbol: Green lotus flower with 12 petals Element: Air Mantra: Yam Recommended Yoga Practices: Camel pose, Bow pose, Puppy pose 5. Throat (Vishuddha) Chakra The throat chakra governs the throat and neck area, as well as the thyroid gland, and is linked to our sense of speech, creativity, and ability to communicate authentically. Vishuddha chakra is also significant as our center of energetic purification. Location: Throat Color and Symbol: Blue lotus flower with 16 petals Element: Ether (Space) Mantra: Ham. Recommended Yoga Practices: Shoulder Stand, Fish pose, Lion’s Breath, chanting 6. Third Eye (Ajna) The third eye center is closely linked to our pineal gland, nervous system, and sense of intuition and perception. Thus, we often look to ajna chakra for relaxation and visions during spiritual practice. Location: Center of the brain; between the eyebrows Color and Symbol: Violet or indigo lotus flower with two petals Mantra: Om Recommended Yoga Practices: Child’s pose, meditation, Shambhavi Mudra (directing gaze at the third eye) 7. Crown (Sahasrara) The crown chakra connects the individual self to the greater Self. It’s related to cosmic consciousness, self-awareness, and the interconnectedness of all that is. Location: Slightly above the crown of the head Color and Symbol: White, Light, or Violet thousand-petal lotus flower Mantra: Aum (or silent aum) Recommended Yoga Practices: Headstand, Savasana, meditation Are Chakras Real? Chakras are not physical or tangible, but that doesn’t make them less real than other aspects of our physical, mental, emotional, or energetic existence. One indicator of the validity of the concept of chakras is their appearance throughout various traditions and time. In addition to the yogic systems of chakras, Buddhist, Jain, and other healing modalities also visualize and work with chakras (or similar locations of concentrated energy, such as meridians/Dan Tien in Chinese medicine) as points of focus for meditation and healing. Chakras can be used as focal points during meditation Although science has yet to prove the existence of chakras, research is on the way to doing so. Recent technology is now able to measure the electromagnetic radiance of auras and the energetic body, indicating that our energetic presence, particularly energy emanating from the heart, extends far beyond our physical bodies. “Chakras are not physical or tangible, but that doesn’t make them less real than other aspects of our physical, mental, emotional, or energetic existence.” That being said, the purpose of this article is not to convince you that chakras are real, but rather to serve as an introduction to those who would like to explore deeper aspects of self-awareness. Yoga is a science of getting to know your true self through experimentation and introspection. So, for those of you questioning the nuances of your subtle body and the reality of the chakra system, I urge you to experiment with the basic visualization techniques and contemplation methods indicated above. Takeaway: Yoga Chakras, Colors and Locations According to the science of yoga, chakras are powerful vortexes of moving energy located along our major energetic channel, that govern different aspects of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. By understanding the role of the major chakras in our bodies and lives, we can begin to identify and balance each aspect of our energetic composition to embark on the path of holistic healing and well-being. ● Images: shutterstock/May_Chanikran, shutterstock/E.Va, shutterstock/New Africa happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Empathy | Resilience | Self care Written by Rachel Markowitz Rachel recently found herself over a decade deep in a worldwide wander guided by what she feels to be true. She’s been facilitating classes and workshops on yoga, meditation, self-exploration, and alternative ways of living since 2012, mostly in Latin America and Asia. These days, she spends most of her time looking at, walking around, or singing to a sacred mountain in southern India. Read more of her words at her to those who wonder blog.
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Unlike toxic positivity – where the only acceptable response to hardship is to smile through it – tragic optimism acknowledges adversity while holding space for hope. Dee Marques explores the meaning of tragic optimism and offers five ways to find meaning during challenging times. Do you remember the last time you tried to cheer someone up by telling them “stay positive” or – the current mantra of our times – “you've got this!”? Or maybe you say these things to yourself to pep yourself up while you're going through difficult days while trying to navigate through life. Although the intention behind these expressions comes from a place of kindness, reinforcing words such as these can sometimes miss the mark. That's because we live in a culture that often pushes us towards forced optimism; a mindset where every cloud must have a silver lining and must be met with a smile. This kind of toxic positivity comes with its downsides. As best-selling author Margie Warrell puts it: “The over-generalization of ‘think positive’ to all situations can be harmful, as it denies the full human experience”. However, there’s also a very real and valid longing behind toxic positivity: to find hope in difficulty and to trust that life is meaningful, even when it’s hard. So, how do we meet that need without bypassing our emotional truth? That’s where so-called tragic optimism comes in. What is the meaning of tragic optimism? The concept of tragic optimism was first developed by Austrian psychologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl. He defined it as, “an optimism in the face of tragedy and in view of the human potential”. It asserts that even in the face of suffering, individuals can find purpose and meaninf in life, maintaining optimism and hope, even in the most challenging circumstances. Tragic optimism: finding the light while accepting the darkness Challenging circumstances and tragedy is something that were close to Frankl. During the three years he and his family spent in various concentration camps, his father died while both his mother and brother were murdered in gas chambers. By holding on to hope and meaning, Frankl managed to survive this terror and work within psychology. Tragic optimism vs toxic positivity Unlike toxic positivity – which suggests that the only acceptable response to pain is to smile through it – tragic optimism recognises that suffering is part of life. Its strength lies in embracing life as it is, as a way to cultivate emotional honesty and fortitude. This concept is completely at odds with toxic positivity, which leaves little room for anger, grief, fear, or despair. In this mindset, people are often asked to “look on the bright side” instead of acknowledging pain. In real life, this can play out in small but painful ways: a friend brushing off your heartbreak with “you’ll find someone better”, a colleague minimising your burnout with “at least you have a job”, or even the inner voice that tells you “you don’t have a right to feel sad or unhappy – others have it worse”. “Tragic optimism recognises that suffering is part of life. Its strength lies in embracing life as it is, as a way to cultivate emotional honesty and fortitude.” Science shows that toxic positivity can, as.the name suggests, be harmful. Research confirms that dismissing negative emotions through suppression or experiential avoidance actually heightens distress. Moreover, the emotional suppression that characterises toxic positivity can leave us feeling more alone and ashamed, and has even been linked to anxiety and depressive disorders. A 2011 study from the University of Bielefeld, Germany, found that this avoidance doesn’t only lead to increased suppression of negative emotions, but also to the suppression of positive emotions, suggesting that toxic positivty can even impair our ability to enjoy the good things in life. Finding Meaning in Hardship Frankl believed that meaning is the antidote to suffering. Building on philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche’s idea that "if we have our own why in life, we shall get along with almost any how", Frankl observed this to be true under gruelling circumstances, and noted how some of his fellow prisoners in a concentration camp made it through simply because they were able to find meaning in their experience. MORE LIKE THIS: The Attitude of Gratitude: 6 Ways it Can Change Your Life How to Find Meaning in Life: 7 Strategies Values and Motivation: Essential For Meaning in Life Although traumatic events mark us, we always have the option to weave them into our life narrative and see them as growth points, rather than as endings. This integration work to overcome challenges is crucial, because otherwise we would be left with multiple disconnections between different events and stages of life, which would make it difficult to understand how difficult experiences can lead to growth. Tragic Optimism: Growth From Hardship Of course, unproblematic situations and joyful life stages are important and we should enjoy them to the best of our ability. Enjoyment is important to life! But growth rarely comes from those moments. Instead, it often emerges as we carve our way through hardship. This is what researchers have called post-traumatic growth – and real-life examples are plentiful. For instance, a 2021 study from the University of California and Eastern Washington University of over 500 participants during COVID-19 found that 56% felt increased gratitude amid suffering. Brighter days can lie ahead when you hold on to meaning Similarly, a 2011 study from George Mason University found that people experiencing traumatic events such as natural disasters or the death of loved ones without falling into experiential avoidance reported high levels of growth and meaning – in fact, the greater the distress, the greater their growth. 5 Meaning-Making Strategies Tragic optimism – making meaning through hardship – is about staying with what hurts and choosing to move forward regardless. Here are five strategies to help you turn adversity into understanding, strength and growth. 1. Name What You Feel Instead of brushing aside emotional discomfort saying “it could be worse” or “stay positive”, allow your emotions to surface and acknowledge their nature and where you feel them in your body. A 2007 study from UCLA found that labelling emotions combined with mindfulness reduced activity in the brain’s threat response centre, helping participants feel calmer and more in control. 2. Find Your ‘Why’ One of the most powerful strategies during periods of hardship is to identify a sense of purpose. Your ‘why’ doesn’t have to be huge or dramatic, but to be meaningful, it needs to feel true to you. Here are some examples: Caring for someone you love Advocating for an issue close to your heart Using your experience to support others going through similar challenges Committing to become the person you needed when you were at your lowest Achieving all the life goals you still aim for The point of tragic optimism isn’t to erase pain, but to anchor yourself in something worth enduring it for. As research has shown, purpose is linked to greater emotional resilience, decreased depression and anxiety, and even to a longer lifespan and fewer risk of heart conditions. 3. Reframe Suffering Into Growth Tragic optimism involves approaching hardship as part of your evolution. So, instead of asking, "Why is this happening to me?", ask "What might change because of this?" or "What kind of person do I want to become because of this?" Changing your perspective like this isn’t about forcing silver linings, but about reinterpreting life events so you can move from helplessness to agency. Change your perspective and reframe suffering into growth 4. Practise ‘honest gratitude’ Forcing yourself to “be grateful” doesn’t help. Even gratitude researcher Robert Emmons says: “To deny that life has its share of disappointments, frustrations, losses, hurts, setbacks and sadness would be unrealistic and untenable. Life is suffering. No amount of positive thinking exercises will change this truth.” “While toxic positivity offers comfort at the cost of emotional authenticity, tragic optimism acknowledges adversity while holding space for meaning, hope and growth.” Honest gratitude is a more nuanced and grounded perspective that simply invites you to notice what remains steady or meaningful as you experience pain. That might be a friend who checks in, a tree you pass on your daily walk to work that reminds you of continuity, or the feeling of a warm cup of tea on a hard day. 5. Take one meaningful action Sometimes, meaning is not found through thought, but through action. Ask yourself: What is one small thing I can do today that aligns with my values? Maybe that means writing a note of encouragement to someone else, or volunteering in a way that feels manageable. These choices say: “I can respond to pain in meaningful ways”, which is the basis of tragic optimism. Takeaway: Tragic Optimism While toxic positivity offers comfort at the cost of emotional authenticity, tragic optimism acknowledges adversity while holding space for meaning, hope, and growth. This is a gentler, wiser alternative that makes space for both hardship and growth. Tragic optimism isn’t just an antidote to toxic positivity: it’s an invitation to embrace every part of the human journey, and to emerge with deeper strength, meaning, and love for life. If you’re going through something difficult, try to stay open to life, even when it hurts. ● Images: PHOTOCREO Michal Bednarek, Perfect Wave, Good Studio happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Stress management | Resilience Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
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Many of us are trying to find greater happiness in our lives. Learn how to boost your daily joy and well-being with these 11 science-backed tips from Calvin Holbrook. In today's modern and busy world, finding happiness can seem challenging. For the majority of us, our lives are more stressful than ever and we have less time to relax and enjoy life. The recent shift in mainstream media becoming increasingly negative only helps to fuel our anxiety, leading to greater misery and unhappiness. Happiness is a state we all want to live in, but is it even realistically possible to be upbeat and content the whole time? And what exactly is happiness? Would you consider it a way of life, a certain mood, or a state of mind? It's clear happiness levels fluctuate, but is there a way to increase or regulate them? Or is happiness a choice? In fact, as most of us have probably realized by now, there’s no magic way to stay joyful all the time. However, there is some science behind the nature of happiness. Furthermore, once we understand this, we can develop our skills to find happiness and remain joyful for longer periods consistently. So, follow these 11 science-backed ways to increase your levels of joy and you should be able to see a positive difference in your daily well-being and discover deeper happiness more easily. How to find happiness: 11 science-backed tips From staying social to practising gratitude: make these 11 changes to your life and start finding more happiness. 1. Stay social and build quality relationships Science is clear on out first tip on how to find happiness: you can improve well-being through developing quality relationships. We humans are a social species and need regular contact. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness and recent studies show it can even be as harmful to mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. How to find happiness within yourself? Through others But if you're searching for happiness, don’t start adding random friend requests to people on Insta just yet. Simply having many different acquaintances doesn’t lead to a boost in happiness levels – research shows that it’s the quality of our relationships that's key to boosting our well-being. In a landmark 75-year, multigenerational study, Robert Waldinger measured happiness levels in people from Boston’s poorest neighbourhoods and found that the most joyful were those with high-quality social connections. Furthermore, lonely people were less happy and, significantly, had poorer health. RELATED: How to Make New Friends As An Adult The 6 Qualities of True Friendship How to Be a Better Friend: 9 Ideas So, make sure to nurture more meaningful relationships with the people you already love. And, if you're feeling alone or disconnected from your current friendship group, finding your tribe – people with whom you are likely to get on best with – is a surefire way to finding more happiness. 2. Force a smile Buddhist Thích Nhất Hạnh once wrote: “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”’ Indeed, studies have shown that smiling and other external expressions work as a continual feedback loop, helping to reinforce our internal emotions. “If you're on a quest for how to find happiness within yourself, start by thinking of others first, and begin to lead a more meaningful life.” Psychological scientists from the University of Kansas conducted a study in which they assessed the impact of smiling on one’s physical and mental state. They came to the conclusion that making yourself smile can help lower your heart rate during stressful times. So, smiling even when we feel down can actually makes us feel happier. Furthermore, try smiling at strangers, too: studies also show that happiness is contagious, so you may just get a friendly grin back that lifts you up. This is an easy practical tip which can help you in finding happiness on a daily basis. 3. Find your 'flow' It sounds simple, but take time to think about what you really love doing in life and make an effort to do more of it. Go for simple things you can fit into your schedule on a daily or weekly basis. Maybe it’s being in nature. Perhaps it’s reading, forest bathing, visiting art galleries, cooking a delicious meal, or just dancing around the living room. Whatever your daily happy buzz, make time for it in your life and it will help you in discovering greater happiness. Maybe you can find your flow on the river? Better still, if you can find an activity where your mind is fully immersed in a feeling of focus, involvement and enjoyment, you've probably found your flow. This blissful state – where you're 100% 'in the zone' – sparks true moments of joy, calm and creativity, as well as helping you find happiness by forgetting any current worries. 4. Think positively Some people seem to live by the ‘glass half full’ and ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ anecdotes, and for good reason. In fact, research has shown that positive thinking can assist in stress management as well as playing an important role in your overall well-being and health. A 2017 study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that positive thinking helps in combating feelings of low self-esteem, improves physical health, as well as helps brighten your general outlook on life. “Science shows that writing a daily or weekly gratitude journal can make finding happiness easier.” Here's a simple tip: every time you have a negative thought, try and replace it with a positive one. It's sounds easier said than done, but this practice can help to retrain your usual thought patterns to bring more positive thoughts into your life. Likewise, changing your perspective on your current situation can help in discovering happiness too. If you’ve made a mistake – however big – focus on your past achievements instead, visualizing your successes. Learn more about how to stop ruminating on past mistakes and start living with hope and appreciation of the present moment. 5. Develop a more meaningful life Meaningfulness is a major happy factor that you can extend into all areas of your life. Whether it's through gardening, volunteering, or becoming politically active, meaningful activities have been shown to boost people's happiness while reducing stress levels at the same time. Add meaning to your life by helping others in need What's more, developing meaning through helping others has been shown to be particularly beneficial. A study from 2017 showed that people who offer care and help to others then become better equipped to handle their own problems. Moreover, the researched showed that participants who engaged more by helping others also showed greater decreases in levels of depression. So, if you're on a quest for how to find happiness within yourself, start by thinking of others first, and begin to lead a more meaningful life. 6. Practise gratitude Our next tip on how to find happiness is to show gratitude. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is proven to make you feel happier and more humble. We often focus on what we don't have, but, instead, we should be grateful for what we already do have: a home, food on the table, clothing, and access to water/electricity. Many millions of people in the world don’t have these things (and, interestingly, many of them are still happy!). RELATED: 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice 23 Gratitude Affirmations For Attracting Happiness Yoga for Happiness: Gratitude Yoga Moreover, science shows that writing a daily or weekly gratitude journal can make finding happiness easier. The Journal of Happiness Studies published a study that used gratitude letters to test how being grateful can affect our levels of happiness. The researchers concluded that: “Participants included 219 men and women who wrote three letters of gratitude over a three-week period. Results indicated that writing letters of gratitude increased participants' happiness and life satisfaction while decreasing depressive symptoms.” How to find happiness: gratitude journals helps you appreciate life 7. Stop comparing yourself to others In our social media savvy world, flaunting your travels, relationships and purchases on Insta is all too common. However, comparing yourself to other people only leads to unhappiness. Indeed, data from a 2010 Europe-wide survey of 19,000 people showed that those who compared their incomes to others were less happy with what they had. Furthermore, while other people’s lives may appear 'perfect’, there’s always a hidden story we’re unaware of. We usually only share our best moments on social media, rather than our fears and anxieties. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on achieving your own dreams by goal setting. If needed, change your social media habits and/or delete accounts. 8. Exercise daily If you're wondering how to find happiness, exercising is proven to boost levels of happiness. In fact, exercise has such a profound effect on well-being that it’s an effective strategy for tackling depression. In a study cited in The Happiness Advantage – a book by Shawn Achor – three groups of patients treated their depression with medication, exercise, or a combination of both. All three groups experienced similar improvements in their happiness levels in early days, but the later follow-up assessments proved very different. “Starting your day with just five to ten minutes of meditation will help you in finding happiness. Try meditating in the morning, shortly after waking.” Six months later the groups were tested to assess their relapse rate. Of those that had taken the medication alone, 38 per cent had slipped back into depression. Those in the combination group did a little better, with a 31 per cent relapse rate. But with the exercise group, the relapse rate was just nine per cent, suggesting it really did make a difference to finding happiness. So, make sure you fit some exercise into your daily routine. If you don't enjoy going to the gym, try mindful running or wild swimming to reconnect with nature. Group sea swimming is a great way to boost happiness levels 9. Get plenty of sleep If you don’t rest well, you won’t be able to function at your best. Regular sleep deprivation breaks down productivity, alertness and mood. Aim for between seven and nine hours kip a night and this will help keep your happiness levels up. A 2017 study from the Division of Sleep and Circadian Disorders at Brigham and Women's Hospital, and MIT Media Lab Affective Computing Group showed that keeping regular sleep patterns contributes to the happiness and well-being of college students. The study looked at 204 students over one month. The results show that higher sleep regularity was significantly related to higher morning and evening happiness, healthiness and calmness during the week. “Irregular sleep-wake schedules are common in our modern society," said lead author Akane Sano, PhD. “Our results indicate the importance of sleep regularity, in addition to sleep duration, and that regular sleep is associated with improved well-being.” Struggling to get a decent night's rest? Follow our 14 science-backed sleep hacks or try a deep sleep meditation. 10. Practise meditation Starting your day with just five to ten minutes of meditation will help you to find deeper happiness. Try meditating in the morning shortly after waking: the immediate heightened inner clarity and focus it will give you will set you up for the rest of the day. RELATED: 10 Types of Meditation: Which Style is Best For You? Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature Does Meditation Really Work? Here's What Science Says In fact, there are many studies that have shown that meditation can boost happiness levels by reducing stress hormones, shrinking the part of the brain that controls anxiety, and by stopping rumination, amongst other things. And, according to Psychology Today, meditation is the strongest mental practice that has the power to reset your happiness set point, thus turning you into a more joyful person and literally rewiring major areas in your brain. 11. Go outside more often While we can’t control the weather, spending time outside is essential for our well-being. In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor recommends spending time in the fresh air to improve your happiness. “Making time to go outside on a nice day also delivers a huge advantage,” he says. “One study found that spending 20 minutes outside in good weather not only boosted positive mood, but broadened thinking and improved working memory.” Find your flow: do what you love and find deeper happiness Meanwhile, a study from the University of Sussex corroborated the idea that being outdoors made people happier: “Being outdoors, near the sea, on a warm, sunny weekend afternoon is the perfect spot for most. In fact, participants were found to be substantially happier outdoors in all natural environments than they were in urban environments.” So, whatever the weather, make sure you get outside of your four walls to boost your well-being. The takeaway: how to find happiness Finally, one last thing: science also suggests that some people are simply ‘born happier’. In The How of Happiness, researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests that only around 40 per cent of our happiness is under our control (recent life events and biological set points predetermine the other 60 per cent). So, if accurate, this research means only about half of happiness levels can be controlled at any given moment. If you're searching for how to find happiness within yourself, then incorporate as many of our 11 ideas into your daily life – you should be able to increase your happiness levels over a period of time. Seeking out a positive state of mind, regular exercose, and enhancing quality relationships all help: but these habits require consistent work to be successful and help you in finding happiness. In the meantime, if life gives you lemons, choose to make a tasty lemonade! ● Images: shutterstock/Zoran Zeremski, shutterstock/G-Stock Studio, shutterstock/Ground Picture, shutterstock/Oksana Klymenko, shutterstock/jax10289 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Authenticity | Motivation | Success Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage!
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Happiness Is A State Of Mind: 8 Ways To Develop It
Calvin77 posted an article in INSPIRATION & SPIRITUALITY
Understanding that happiness is a state of mind rather than something to be obtained is a key life lesson. Dee Marques shares 8 ways you can consciously choose to be more joyful. Happiness is the ultimate quest; something all humans aspire to. You’d think that after thousands of years of existence we would've become better at figuring out a way to be happy and stay happy. So, why is happiness so hard to achieve, and why does it slip out of our hands so easily? Or is happiness a state of mind rather than something that's 'achieveable'? Personally, I’ve always wondered why some people seem happier than others, or why having a more positive mindset seems to come easier to them. As we go through life, we all have good and bad experiences – things that will shape us for ever – so why do we react so differently to that input? In reality, science shows that happiness is partly determined by our genes. Researchers claim that happiness is 50 per cent dependent on genetics and just 10 per cent on personal circumstances (like our financial situation, relationships, career, etc.). That means the remaining 40 per cent is down to us, suggesting that happiness is a state of mind that can be reached through the right choices and attitude. As best-selling author and behavioural scientist Steve Maraboli was once quoted, “happiness is a state of mind; a choice, a way of living. It is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experienced.” So, let’s look into how you can adjust your way of living and find happiness in everything you experience. Happiness Is A State of Mind: 8 Top Tips True happiness is not a temporary feeling that comes and goes, but rather something that guides our thoughts and our reactions to what happens in our lives. Indeed, happiness comes from within. Many of our choices are automatic. This is how our brains work, and thank goodness for that, because otherwise we wouldn’t be able to function. However, it’s in our power to make conscious choices to ensure that happiness is a state of mind in our everyday lives. Follow these 8 top tips to help develop a happy state of mind. 1. Trick your brain Yes, you can fool your brain into thinking that happiness is a state of mind with one single gesture: a smile. Indeed, there are several studies showing that smiling sends positive feedback to the brain, even when you're forcing it! This is because the brain can pick up cues from our body to generate certain moods by releasing a bunch of feel-good hormones. Other studies show that smiling calms us down by slowing our heart rate. So, simply putting on a grin can improve your mood at times when you need it the most. Stay smiling! Happiness is a state of mind 2. Count your blessings It’s easy – and natural – to focus on what we don’t have and think we’ll be happy when we get it. Instead, think about the things you already do have that make life precious. And don’t just think about them, write them down. If you haven’t started a gratitude journal, this is the time to do so. Writing therapy can help solidify your appreciation for the good things in life and make you more aware of thought patterns that interfere with a happy mindset. Happiness is a state of mind when you feed your brain positive thoughts, and gratitude is a scientifcally-proven place to start. 3. Start your day the right way Instead of starting the day in a rush, set the alarm 10 or 15 minutes before your usual wake up time and get in an early morning meditation session. With practice, an early mediation session will give you greater clarity, so you can appreciate the best things in life and become stronger in the face of adversity. RELATED: 9 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation There are many useful meditation techniques, but mindfulness meditation is particularly good at training your brain to perceive that happiness is a state of mind. 4. Change perspective Some years ago, I went through a rough patch and hated everything. The gloomy British weather didn’t make things any easier: the lack of colour and sunlight got the worst of me and magnified other problems I was struggling with. So, one day I got on a plane to visit relatives, and a few minutes after taking off we pushed through clouds and suddenly I was floating in a sunny, peaceful space. All I had to do to be in a different world was gain altitude. “You can trick your brain into thinking that happiness is a state of mind with one single gesture: a smile.” The metaphor is obvious: looking at things from a different “altitude” can make us perceive the world in a different way. It may take lots of practice, but once you get good at it, you’ll realise that happiness is a state of mind that sometimes relies on you changing perspective. RELATED: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! 5. Find and give support Isolation and loneliness are all around us and can make us feel miserable, even when we have reasons to be joyful. We may not feel like socialising when we feel down, but don’t shut the doors to those who care about you. Improving the quality of our interactions with others is a crucial step if you want to truly experience how happiness is a state of mind. Sharing feelings can help us to build stronger bonds, feel supported, and create positive feedback loops in yourself and others. Why not plan exercise sessions with friends, or take up a new hobby together? 6. Do a kind act every day A few months ago, a friend of mine was going through a difficult situation, but she didn’t want the circumstances to take over her life. She decided to go out every Tuesday and do something kind for others, even though she didn’t feel like leaving the house. RELATED: Random acts of kindness – 22 ideas to spread happiness She’s since become known as “Happy Tuesday lady”, and needless to say, her mental health has improved massively! And no wonder. Science shows that the power of kindness is real – being nice is proven to boost your mood, lower stress and reduce anxiety, among other benefits. Showing kindness boosts happiness levels 7. Find meaning and purpose Many people go through life doing what they’re think they're supposed to be doing. But do the things you do bring you a sense of meaning or purpose? If not, you’re missing out on the path to happiness. RELATED: Power of Purpose – Rediscover Your True Role in Life One of the biggest joys in life is exploring and discovering what we’re here for and what we can contribute to the world – or at least, to those around us. Discovering how to find meaning in life will put you in a happy state of mind for sure. 8. Cut down sources of unhappiness A happy state of mind is something that must be nourished through happy habits, and spending too much time on social media is not on that list! For many people, social networks are a source of unhappiness and insecurity and can contribute to feelings of depression. In fact, research shows that the constant need to compare our lives to other peoples’ lives creates a deep sense of dissatisfaction and makes us lose track of the blessings we already have. The Takeaway: Happiness Is A State Of Mind I won’t deny it: life's not easy and sometimes it’s plain challenging and frustrating. The work towards choosing happy is constant. It won’t happen overnight and you should be ready to fight setbacks. Facing obstacles along the way doesn’t mean there’s no hope or you’re losing the battle. Even in tough times, you can build the resources you need to experience that happiness is a state of mind. Like writer and personal development expert Dale Carnegie said, “it isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy, it's what you think about it.” ● Images shutterstock/Rido, shutterstock/Dmytro Zinkevych happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Resilience | Nature | Meditation | Self care | Kindness Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter. -
Positive energizers are optimistic souls that naturally radiate good vibes to others. Psychologist Stanislava Puač J. offers up the 7 traits of positive energizers and explains how you can nurture more positive relational energy in your life, building happiness. I recently came across the notion of positive relational energy and I immediately remembered something that happened during my college volunteer days. We were working with emotionally heavy cases – stories of trauma and disadvantage that stayed with you long after the day ended. One evening, our team met to report on progress, and we were all visibly drained. One of the coordinators walked in, carrying a tray of mismatched mugs and those overly sweet 3-in-1 instant coffee packs we all secretly loved. But it wasn’t the coffee that lit up the room – she cracked a soft joke about how we ourselves were one emotional breakdown away from qualifying for group therapy, and – genuinely – asked how we were doing. Energy is contagious: positive energizers know it! Of course, that moment didn’t change much in the burden we were carrying. But you could clearly see how the energy shifted. We laughed together and the heaviness dissipated. We all grabbed that straw of optimism and held on to it. If a conversation such as this has ever left you feeling unexpectedly lighter, you’ve probably felt the effects of positive relational energy. Let’s unpack what this concept means, how it works, and how you can become one of these people with positive, contagious energy. What Is Positive Relational Energy? Energy is contagious; I intuitively knew that all of my life. Some people walk into a room and lift the entire emotional atmosphere. Others literally drain life force out of you. “Positive relational energy refers to the uplifting and energizing effect that some people have on others. In simpler terms, when we interact, we exchange not only information but also a dynamic flow of energy.” This interpersonal effect is known as relational energy – a term Kim Cameron explored in detail. According to him, positive relational energy refers to the uplifting and energizing effect that some people have on others. In simpler terms, when we interact, we exchange not only information but also a dynamic flow of energy: Positive relational energy is the kind that inspires, motivates, and leaves people feeling better. It’s more than optimism or a forced “good vibes” act. It is grounded in genuine empathy, presence, and authentic connection. On the other hand, negative relational energy manifests as cynicism, constant complaining, competitiveness, or emotional withdrawal. We often label these people energy vampires (because even short interactions with them can leave you mentally and emotionally exhausted). Although Cameron focuses primarily on the effects of positive relational energy in leadership, this vibrant and uplifting exchange can occur naturally in all forms of communication, for example: A family member’s supportive presence can de-escalate conflict or reinforce bonding. A positive energizer can make friends feel secure, seen, and recharged – turning even ordinary moments into sources of connection and strength. In psychotherapy, we can also say that we rely on such positive relational energy to form rapport. So, in essence, relational energy is that invisible current we exchange during shared experiences. 7 Qualities of Someone with Positive Relational Energy Positive relational energy is more than that instinctive feeling that energy is contagious. In fact, it is measurable – and it has been measured – as well as its effects. Within a work environment, research suggests that teams with more positive energizers are more productive, resilient, and cohesive. According to the same study, leaders who create positive relational energy “display humility, authenticity, work passion, humor, trust, spiritual leadership, and servant leadership.” Let’s examine how these individuals’ positivity is contagious and what traits they possess: 1. They’re emotionally attuned Positive energizers are also empaths. They notice how others feel and have high emotional intelligence. They have an emotional radar that picks up others’ discomfort, disengagement, or tension. And most importantly, they respond with warmth and non-judgment. 2. They listen deeply People endowed with positive relational energy make people feel heard. They nod, reflect, and create a safe space. They go beyond active listening and give the kind of attention that says: “You matter.” Deep listening is a key trait of positive energizers 3. They elevate rather than compete It is not always easy to genuinely celebrate others’ wins. Envy is defined as “an unpleasant, often painful emotion characterized by feelings of inferiority, hostility, and resentment caused by an awareness of a desired attribute enjoyed by another person or group,” by researchers who reviewed empirical and theoretical work on this feeling. “Choosing to be a positive energizer doesn’t mean denying stress or sugarcoating reality. It is about appreciating the beauty of life and passing that appreciation onto others.” Despite its negative hue, most of us tend to experience envy at some point in our lives. Positive energizers, conversely, don’t rely on comparison to feel worthy. Their energy reinforces mutual success, not status games. 4. They radiate solution-focused optimism People whose positivity is contagious also have bad days. However, they don’t focus on problems – but on paths guiding everyone out of trouble. Their default tone is constructive, not corrosive. 5. They use humor wisely Positive energizers know when to bring lightheartedness – as well as when not to. A light, playful remark at the right moment can defuse tension, and these individuals know just the right dose of humor. 6. They’re generous with genuine praise and gratitude Praise, appreciation, and gratitude can have a profoundly positive impact on both the giver and the receiver. If someone carries that positive relational energy, they will notice what’s going right and say it out loud. In this way, their contagious energy boosts not only individual moods but also team morale. RELATED: Happy Habits: 12 Ways to Build Joy Levels Daily The Power of Kindness: the Ripple Effect of Being Nice When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! 7. They model integrity and trust People feel safe around a person whose positivity is contagious. Why? They behave in this manner in all life situations. They are consistently positive and respectful. That safety is part of the energy they radiate. How Can I Develop More Positive Relational Energy? You don’t need to be born as a positive energiser. Much like empathy or leadership, positive relational energy can be nurtured. Here’s how you can take the traits outlined above and turn them into intentional habits and small, everyday actions: 1. Enter the room with intentional awareness The foundation for positive energy exchange is mindful presence. Start building awareness of yourself and your effect on others. You can try to: Take a mental note of how your mood might be affecting others whenever you interact with them. Pause before meetings or conversations to ask yourself: “What energy am I bringing into this space?” Be conscious of your non-verbal communication, too (body language, gestures, etc). 2. Rewire your internal world and fill it with gratitude Gratitude shifts your focus from a scarcity to an abundance mindset – and people feel that shift. What is more, it becomes contagious. These are some of the practices you can try: A quick “what went well today” reflection at the end of each day. Expressing appreciation out loud, even for small things. 3. Use listening as a relational tool, not just a social skill We often think we’re listening when we’re really just waiting for our turn to speak! When you intentionally listen, it is not a void space – active and mindful listening creates energy. To develop in this area: Release the need to mentally script your response. Offer simple reflections like, “That sounds tough,” or “You seem excited about this.” 4. Become a calm source of momentum People with positive relational energy aren’t relentlessly cheerful and bubbly. However, they tend not to cling to their problems. Here are a couple of ideas on how to develop that forward-focused mindset and “infect” others with it: Practice asking “What’s one small thing we can do next?” when conversations spiral into frustration. Stay curious and open, rather than critical. Spread good vibes to others through positive relational energy 5. Infuse lightness without losing depth Humor isn’t just about making people laugh. It’s about reminding others (and yourself) that not everything is heavy all the time. Moreover, it has been proven to facilitate relationship-building. So, start using yours to promote positive relational energy and: Sprinkle in jokes, harmless observations, or share uplifting stories. Use playful tones as emotional palate cleansers during tough conversations. 6. Forgive (with boundaries) Even if we think we’re good at hiding it, unresolved resentment leaks into interactions. “People with positive relational energy aren’t relentlessly cheerful and bubbly. However, they tend not to cling to their problems.” Of course, we’re not promoting letting someone off the hook if what they did was terribly wrong. Still, forgiveness sets you free to relate more fully if the transgression wasn’t that severe (if it was, you are fully entitled to set healthy boundaries). How to practice forgiveness intentionally? Practice small acts of emotional release (types of journaling or reframing). 7. Treat consistency as a superpower To be energizing, you need to make others feel safe around you. In other words, it is about being steady, respectful, and present. Here’s how: Show up in a way that people can count on, even when you’re tired. Guard your integrity, so others will know it’s safe to follow your lead. Takeaway: Choose to Radiate Positive Contagious Energy Whether we realize it or not, we’re constantly transmitting. Our voice, demeanour, and words form an energetic signature that affects those around us. Most of the time, we don’t think about this too much. Yet, if you want to be that positive, energizing force in the world, you can deliberately change how you radiate. Choosing to be a positive energizer doesn’t mean denying stress or sugarcoating reality. It is about appreciating the beauty of life and passing that appreciation onto others. It is the kind of contagious energy that brings about genuine change. ● Images: shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri A, shutterstock/Tint Media, shutterstock/LightField Studios happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Stanislava Puač J. Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.
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Rewiring for Joy: 8 Expert-Backed Happiness Hacks
Calvin77 posted an article in SCIENCE & PSYCHOLOGY
Is it possible to hack happiness? Sonia Vadlamani explores 8 research-backed strategies that can help us intentionally cultivate greater contentment in our daily lives. Happiness can often feel elusive – all of us wish to lead fulfilling, joyful lives, but ironically, the pursuit can be exhausting. The UN-sponsored World Happiness Report mirrors this paradox, with the rankings for the United States dropping sharply from 15th spot in 2023 to 24th in 2025. Emerging issues like loneliness and inflation have been cited as the major contributors to this decline. The happiness rankings for the United Kingdom continue to plummet too, with the plunge to the 23rd place all the way from 20th the year before. Meanwhile, the country that has consistently topped the World Happiness Ranking for the eighth consecutive year is Finland, sparking global intrigue about what makes the Finnish way of life so favourable and if there’s a way to make these principles – or happiness ‘hacks’ – relevant and actionable for the rest of the world. What are happiness hacks? Happiness hacks are simple, effective strategies devised to boost one’s overall wellbeing and enhance levels. You can think of them as psychological tricks to make yourself happy or simply ‘happy habits’ that, when put consistently into practice, can make a long-term impact. Strengthening social connections is a key happiness hack According to Alex Palmer, New York Times-bestselling author of Happiness Hacks: 100% Scientific! Curiously Effective!, “Small changes today can lead to big changes tomorrow. And that’s where happiness starts.” In essence, happiness hacks are small, intentional changes that can result in significant improvements in one’s mood, outlook, and life-satisfaction levels. So, how can I increase my happiness? While your genetic makeup and life circumstances do influence your happiness baseline to a great extent, research suggests that happiness can also be a conscious choice. Boosting happiness levels requires intentional effort on one’s behalf, and the happiness hacks listed here can help improve your wellbeing levels over time. 8 happiness hacks that deliver We’ve gathered some evidence-based insights – some familiar, others unexpected – to make the pursuit of happiness more achievable (and enjoyable). Here are eight happiness hacks or strategies to help you develop more meaning and joy across all pillars of life. 1. Strengthen your social connections A groundbreaking Harvard study involving 724 participants over 85 years found that the most important key to a happy life isn’t wealth or success but having strong, healthy relationships. In other words, hacking happiness begins with developing enriching social connections and nurturing relationships that matter to you. RELATED: The 6 Qualities of True Friendship The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits No Friends? Here's How to Make New Ones as an Adult To keep these relationships healthy and enriching, experts suggest practicing ‘social fitness,’ which refers to taking stock of one’s friendships and connections, evaluating these social connections and devising a realistic plan to devote time and effort to strengthen them. 2. Spend time in nature Spending time outdoors in nature has been linked to numerous physical and mental health benefits, including better heart health, lesser stress levels, and even lower mortality rates, according to Heather Eliassen, professor of nutrition and epidemiology at Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health. She explains, “Exposure to green space results in mental restoration and increased positive emotions and decreased anxiety and rumination.” “Happiness hacks are simple, effective strategies devised to boost one’s overall wellbeing and enhance happiness levels. You can think of them as psychological tricks to make yourself happy.” Another study links spending 120 minutes a week in nature to wellbeing and happiness. Hacking happiness, therefore, can be as simple as reconnecting with nature by stepping out to soak up some sunshine or taking a peaceful stroll in a park as you breathe fresh air. Take this happiness hack further by incorporating the calming power of meditation and try meditating in nature. 3. Break a sweat Regular physical activity is well-documented for improving overall wellbeing, relieving stress, and alleviating signs of depression. So, if you’re wondering how to hack happiness, get your blood pumping with a form of exercise you enjoy, be it strength training, Zumba, swimming, or dancing. Even a brisk 20-minute walk can elevate your mood by triggering the release of endorphins – your body’s ‘feel-good’ hormones that promote relaxation and a positive attitude. Hike in the hills and combine two happiness hacks at once (nature and exercise) 4. Healthy food, healthy mood A growing body of research supports the idea that you are what you eat. Simply put, since food fuels your brain and body to perform their required functions, the quality and composition of the food determine how you feel and function. What you eat has a direct effect on your brain function and mood. RELATED: The Gut-Brain Axis: Understanding Mood and Food Additionally, studies indicate a strong connection between gut health and emotional wellbeing, with any imbalance in the gut microbiome potentially resulting in low mood and signs of depression. Thus, hacking happiness can begin on your plate, preferably with a balanced diet consisting of lean proteins, green leafy vegetables, legumes and healthy fats. 5. Invest in therapy Sometimes, even with all the psychological tricks to make yourself happy, you may find your inner fears and limiting beliefs holding you back. In such situations, taking the next step toward a fulfilling life may feel challenging without external support, such as good counselling. In fact, a 2009 study by the University of Warwick and the University of Manchester found that therapy could be up to 32 times more effective at making you happier than making more money through a pay raise or a lottery win. While the idea of seeking therapy can feel daunting, understanding that it may help uncover your authentic potential and propel you toward your best self can make it a step worth taking. 6. Minimize your choices Living in the digital age has conditioned us to believe that having more choice means more freedom. However, it can also result in decision fatigue. As a matter of fact, an experiment by Stanford professor Baba Shiv uncovered that facing a constant multitude of choices can place a ‘cognitive load’ on the brain, negatively impacting your decision-making ability and mental peace. Therefore, if you’re wondering how to hack happiness, try narrowing your choices – not by avoiding or delaying decisions, but by streamlining your decision-making process. 7. Experience the magic of novelty often While a set routine can boost productivity, introducing novelty occasionally in your schedule can enhance your wellbeing and spark happiness, according to a 2020 study published in Nature Neuroscience. “People feel happier when they have more variety in their daily routines – when they go to novel places and have a wider array of experiences,” explains Catherine Hartley, assistant professor at New York University's department of psychology and co-author of this study. “Hacking happiness begins with developing enriching social connections and nurturing relationships that matter to you.” So, if you’ve been feeling stuck or bored with life, it may be time to embrace the magic of novelty. Liz Moody, the creator of the viral neuroplasticity hack ‘Novelty Rule,’ emphasizes that these novel experiences don’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. Instead, hacking happiness through novelty could be as simple as brushing your teeth with non-dominant hand, a tiny addition in your routine, such as creative journaling, learning a language, or a new experiment in the kitchen. Travel can be a way to welcome novelty as well. “You needn’t even go very far,” Karyn Hall, author of The Emotionally Sensitive Person, explained to Psychology Today: “Even a day trip to a nearby town can offer fresh sights and experiences.” You may be surprised by how many hidden gems exist not far from your doorstep! 8. Practice gratitude Humans are wired for negativity by default, but research suggests that expressing gratitude can help us shift our focus through enhanced neural sensitivity toward positive experiences. Robert Emmons, psychologist and professor at UC Davis, emphasized gratitude's social power in an article for Greater Good Magazine: “I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion, because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.” Daily gratitude journalling can build happiness levels Indeed, daily gratitude journaling can be an effective way to start hacking happiness – take 5 or 10 minutes to write down three things you’re grateful for and one meaningful experience you had the previous day. This happiness hack will gradually train your mind to embrace a positive outlook. What are Helsinki happiness hacks? According to a BBC report, some of the factors contributing to Finland’s robust happiness index can be attributed to the presence of a strong social welfare system, the country’s commitment to equality and well-being for its citizens, and low levels of corruption. “Daily gratitude journaling can be an effective way to start hacking happiness – take 5 or 10 minutes to write down three things you’re grateful for.” In addition to the institutional strengths, Finland’s cultural emphasis on spending more time in its abundance of nature plus the inherent attitude of resilience and strength in the Finnish people – known locally as sisu – are two of the widely-known wellness practices – or the so-called Helsinki happiness hacks – that contribute to their sustained overall happiness levels as well. Takeaway: How can I make myself happy? While happiness hacks are effective tools grounded in psychological research, these strategies may not always guarantee consistent happiness for everyone. In fact, a 2018 study found that the constant pursuit of happiness may sometimes leave you feeling not happy at all – mainly since striving too hard to be happy can ironically consume all the time one can spend being happy. That’s why it’s important to stay connected to your authentic self and understand what fulfills you – this self-awareness can render these happiness hacks more effective. Try being more intentional about living in the present – and make room to focus on the good mood here and now! ● Images: shutterstock/Tint Media, shutterstock/Vergani Fotografia, shutterstock/alexgo. photography happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Neuroscience | Stress management | Nature Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram. -
What's the Point of Life? The 3 Questions You Must Ask Yourself
Calvin77 posted an article in PERSONAL GROWTH
Most of us have probably asked ourselves 'what is the point of life'? Indeed, sometimes our time on Earth can seem futile. However, Dee Marques argues that finding meaning in your existence is key, and explores the 3 essential questions you should ask yourself to help find it. There comes a point in our lives where, no matter how successful we think we are, we’re bound to question why we’re here, what we're doing, and where we’re going. Sometimes, posing these questions can help us evaluate our goals and lifestyle and improve them for better physical and mental health. In other cases – perhaps when we're feeling low or vulnerable – wondering what the point of life is can amplify feelings of depression, anxiety and emptiness. As humans, we’re unique in the animal kingdom; among many other reasons because of our quest for finding fulfilment and happiness in life. We aim to do more than eat, sleep, reproduce, and stay safe. This quest for meaning has characterised humans since the beginning of times and it’s a central question in every culture. And, according to scientists, the search for meaning seems to be coded into our nature: our brains are larger and with this comes the ability to appreciate things beyond meeting our basic needs. MORE LIKE THIS: Feeling Defeated By Life? Here's How To Take Back Power Why Do I Hate My Life? 10 Ways to Start Loving It Again Feeling Lost in Life? Move On In 7 Steps And we can do more than appreciate the positive and joyful aspects of life. Trying to find meaning in negative experiences is also an ability that’s unique to humans, and that’s precisely what leads us to ask, 'what is the point of life'. So, how can we go about finding an answer? Let’s look at some practical ideas. What's the point of life? What if the purpose of life is finding a way to forget about the question 'what Is the point of life? Maybe there’s no single thing that brings meaning per se, but the journey itself may be what helps us find purpose. And when we talk about the journey, we mean every aspect of it, from savouring the pleasant experiences to learning from mistakes. Feel life is pointless? It's essential to find meaning and purpose But for the journey to be meaningful, it must be the result of your own choices. Some people try to find meaning in wealth and fame, but this doesn’t have to be your story. As a living being, you’re in a unique position to decide what your purpose should be. We didn’t choose to be born, but we can choose how to live our lives and how to enjoy it. “What if the purpose of life is finding a way to forget about the question 'what is the point of life?'” To do that, it helps focusing on being consciously grounded in the present. Practising mindfulness creates a greater awareness of what it means to be alive. It helps your mind get more in touch with your emotions, reactions, and with your five senses. This type of clarity can open your eyes to things or experiences that help you to live your life with purpose. And mindfulness is not the only thing that can bring us clarity: there are some questions you can ask yourself to inspire your search for purpose. The 3 questions to help you find meaning The quest for meaning in life is so vast that the very thought of getting started can make you feel overwhelmed. Discovering what the point of life is remains a lifelong journey, and the steps and stages won’t be the same for everyone. However, there are three key questions that can put you on the right track to begin the journey of discovery: 1. What would you like to be remembered for? As humans, we tend to focus on the present and the future. If you examine your ambitions, you may find that they’re limited to what you want to achieve this year, next year, on in the next decade. But have you thought about what you’d want to be remembered for? MORE LIKE THIS: How to Find Yourself Again: 10 Steps in Creating Clarity Bored With Life? Here Are 8 Ways to Shake Things Up When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading The answer to this question is usually related to career or spiritual goals rather than material ones, and thinking about it can help bring into focus the true essence of your being. If you're feeling lost in life, writing your obituary can be a great exercise in confirming what you'd like to be remembered for. 2. If you had super-powers, which problem would you solve first? There’s no shortage of serious problems in the world, and while it’s not always in our hands to single-handedly solve them, thinking about which problem you’d give priority can hint at where your main concerns are. Once you know that, you can start looking for ways of doing your part. For example, if you find that you’d want to end world hunger, you may want to spend some time volunteering at a soup kitchen, or creating a community food garden. 3. What’s the one activity that makes you lose track of time? We all know that time drags when we’re doing something we dislike. But the opposite is also true: there are some activities that make time fly because they get our full attention and bring us a sense of fulfilment. Losing track of time when doing something is known as finding your flow, and it's a clear sign that the activity taps into the things that make us come alive. So, spending more time in those activities can help you enjoy a more meaningful life. These thee questions are a great starting point if you are feeling the pointlessness of life. Our guide to searching for meaning in life has even more suggestions to guide you to clarity in what brings What is the point of life? Being enough There’s no doubt that knowing what your purpose in life is can bring you closer to happiness. But if you’ve been trying to find out what your life role is and haven't found an answer, don’t torture yourself. People’s experiences are different and not everyone will find the right answer at the same time. Gratitude: having enough can be enough What’s more, rushing into finding an answer will only put you under pressure and cause stress. Instead, try to see it from a different perspective: if you haven’t found an answer yet, simply “being” should be enough for now. Here are four suggestions on how to make that work: 1. Find abundance in having enough The powers of gratitude are proven by science. Make a list of things you already have in your life that make you feel blessed and grateful. Through mindfulness practice, you can find abundance in these things, and you may find that having enough is, well, enough! 2. Get comfortable with discomfort Life can feel like an uphill battle sometimes, and it's at those times when we might wonder what the point of life is. However, discomfort in life is unavoidable and trying to find meaning in those experiences often leads to frustration. So, try to accept life for what it is and know that the hard times won't last for ever. So called tragic optimism acknowledges adversity while holding space for hope. “Discovering what the point of life is remains a lifelong journey and the steps and stages won’t be the same for everyone.” 3. Let your intuition guide you Finding the meaning of life requires some analytical thinking, but sometimes logical reasoning doesn’t have all the answers. The key is to balance rational thoughts with intuition, which sometimes will contradict all logical arguments. Listen and trust that inner voice because it usually knows what’s good and right for you. 4. Forget what others think or are doing Some people seem to have their life’s purpose figured out, but comparing yourself to them isn’t helpful. The point of life is to live it in your own terms and at your own pace, and that should be the main focus. For the same reason, don’t let other people’s opinions affect you when it comes to what you find meaningful or how you go about finding your ambition, role or purpose. The Takeaway: Avoiding Pointlessness in Life So, what is the point of life? If there’s one thing that holds true for most of us, it's that the point of life is to live and experience things to the fullest, whatever that “fullest” means for you right now. Don’t rush your quest for meaning. Instead, make a point of finding joy in what you already have and try your best to feel grounded in the present. At some point, you’ll find the answer you’re looking for, and in the meantime, enjoy the journey! • Main image: shutterstock/Song_about_summer, shutterstock/WAYHOME studio Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter. -
Balancing the 5 Pillars of Life for Lasting Well-Being
Calvin77 posted an article in PERSONAL GROWTH
Sonia Vadlamani explores practical ways to strengthen and balance the key areas – or pillars – of life for long-term happiness and success. Picture the scenario. You’re crushing it at work: hitting targets, achieving goals, and earning accolades from superiors and peers. On the surface, your life looks perfect. However, your peace and mental health are declining and your personal relationships are strained. If this sounds familiar, chances are you’re lacking an important element – balance – in your life. Life can often seem like a juggling act, with its myriad responsibilities and tasks to complete within limited reserves of time and attention. What’s more, the fast-paced world around us sometimes tends to reward the pursuit of perfection in one area of life – often our career – while other areas take a backseat. However, decades of research show that true happiness comes from finding harmony across multiple pillars, or key aspects of life, not just one. The good news is that achieving balance isn’t as complex as one may imagine. By understanding and intentionally working toward achieving balance across the key pillars of life, you can create the foundation for a more joyful and sustainable version of success. What are the pillars of life? The prominent Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung identified five pillars, or key elements, necessary for a happy and fulfilling life: Good physical and mental health Healthy personal relationships, including family and friendships The ability to perceive beauty in art and nature A reasonable standard of living and satisfactory work A philosophical or religious perspective that fosters resilience Jung emphasized the interconnectedness of the various aspects of life, with these pillars forming a comprehensive framework for a meaningful, fulfilling life. While his model remains important, experts have expanded upon it to better reflect the evolving needs of modern times. Learn to balance aspects of life for optimal well-being Psychiatrists, wellbeing coaches, and health advisors often highlight the key aspects of life that align with Jung’s pillars: Health pertains to both physical and mental wellbeing, supported by regular exercise, a nutritious diet, adequate sleep, and emotional regulation – the ability to recognize, perceive and manage your emotions effectively. Relationships include family, romantic partnerships, friendships, and social connections. The interplay of relationships and wellbeing has been extensively documented, indicating that cultivating meaningful connections is a crucial key to happiness. Financial health does not refer merely to monetary wealth, but financial security and the ability to meet your needs and occasional wants, without constant worry about expenses and bills. Work and Purpose include career and professional pursuits, along with activities that offer you a sense of purpose and the satisfaction of contributing to something greater. Play and personal growth represent your creative pursuits, leisure, hobbies, and interests, in addition to your efforts to advance your skills and knowledge. Some experts believe in additional pillars or key aspects, such as spirituality or volunteering, depending on individual needs and interests. It’s important for individuals to identify the core areas that are important for their sense of purpose and happiness. Why is balancing the pillars of life important? At times it’s normal – and even necessary – to focus on one area of life. For instance, situations like managing a health condition, taking on an extra work assignment to advance your career, or navigating a family emergency may require you to prioritize one aspect of life over others. However, research shows that the imbalance can become chronic if some areas are neglected too long, impacting one’s overall wellbeing. A 2020 study published in BMC Public Health analyzed data from 32,275 working adults across 30 countries in Europe. It showed a poor association between the adults' work-life balance and self-reported health. “By working toward achieving balance across the key pillars of life, you can create the foundation for a more joyful and sustainable version of success.” The statistics from North America echo a similar imbalance. A study by Elvtr.com involving 2,300 participants from the US and Canada revealed the alarming lack of work-life balance, indicating that 68% of the participants continue working even on vacations, and 57% feel anxious if they don’t check work emails during their time off. These findings point toward a worrying lack of boundaries between professional and personal life. Conversely, achieving balance across the pillars of life has been shown to generate a continuous cycle of positive outcomes. A Harvard Business Review study published in 2022 highlighted the benefits of corporate programs that support work/life balance, with employees reporting improved mental and physical health, lower stress and burnout, in addition to increased productivity and reduced employee turnover. MORE LIKE THIS: What the 12 Pillars of Well-Being Can Teach Us Rewiring for Joy: 8 Expert-Based Happiness Hacks The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits Indeed, the ability to step away from work, take care of our physical and mental health, and spend more time with friends and family strengthens our support system and makes us better equipped to handle stress. Reduced stress and financial stability, in turn, allow space and opportunity for personal growth, creative pursuits, and play – all of which contribute toward long-term happiness. Six ways to balance the pillars of life Balancing these different areas of life can seem overwhelming at first, but it is possible with intention and the right measures. Here are six practical ways to help you strike the right balance among the key pillars of life, thereby laying the foundation for lasting happiness: 1. Conduct a life audit Start with a thorough assessment of where you currently stand in each area of life. On a scale of 1 to 10, rate your satisfaction in each aspect: physical and mental health, relationships, finances, career, and play/personal growth. Identify the areas that are already robust and the ones that require more attention. Remember that this is an exercise in awareness and not of judgment – it can help you establish a baseline to help you focus your efforts and track the progress over time. For example, if your career scores an 8 but your health is at 4 and play is at 2, you can easily identify where you need to shift your focus. 2. Make health non-negotiable Health is the foundation the rest of the pillars are built on. Research highlights the substantial benefits of regular exercise, including stress reduction, improved immunity and lower risk of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, as well as mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. The best way to prioritize health, therefore, is by integrating it into your daily routines. Prioritize health as your key pillar of life Some simple ways to strengthen your health pillar are: Move your body daily: Whether it’s strength training, mindful running, or just a 30-minute brisk walk. Vary your routine to stay motivated. Eat nourishing, whole foods while minimizing processed foods, takeouts, and excess sugar. Get adequate sleep: aim for 7-9 hours of restful sleep each night. Find ways to manage stress. Happy habits like 10 minutes of meditation, yoga, or conscious breathing can keep stress at bay. 3. Build meaningful relationships with intention According to Harvard’s longest-running study on happiness, the strongest predictor of long-term happiness isn’t fame or wealth, but meaningful relationships. Yet, ironically, it’s often the first key area of life we tend to neglect as life gets busier. You can be intentional about nurturing connections by: Making time regularly for people who matter to you. Putting distractions at bay and listening mindfully when in their presence. Expressing gratitude and appreciation sincerely and frequently. Being present and offering support through happy and tough times. 4. Set clear boundaries between all areas of life The different aspects of life – work, self-care, and relationships – may often bleed into each other. While some overlap is acceptable, maintaining clear boundaries is easier when you can identify which pillars of life tend to overlap for you and how it affects your wellbeing. “Health is the foundation the rest of the pillars are built on. The best way to prioritize health, therefore, is by integrating it into your daily routines.” For example, if remote or hybrid work mode has made it more difficult to segregate your professional and personal life, you can devise methods to set intentional boundaries to avoid stress and burnout. Here are some effective ways to create boundaries: Turn off work notifications after hours to protect your energy for personal time. Allocate specific hours for different areas like work, play, relationships, and personal growth, and honor them all with equal importance. Limit your digital media consumption to a set screen-time quota. Avoid energy vampires and learn to say “no” to people and commitments that don’t align with your priorities. 5. Align your goals with purpose and meaning Working solely for financial gain may seem fulfilling at first, but the lack of meaning or purpose may make you feel empty and questioning about life’s purpose. Life feels enriched and enjoyable when you align your goals with what truly matters to you. Fuel your sense of purpose by: Contributing to causes that are bigger than yourself, eg, volunteering. Pursuing growth opportunities that help you advance toward your goals. Automating your work to make time for the other pillars of life. Engaging in acts of kindness. Setting time aside for personal growth and play to keep your spirit energized. Incorporate purpose as a pillar of life 6. Strengthen your financial foundation While money can’t buy you happiness on its own, financial security is cited as one of the top contributors toward better quality of life and overall wellbeing. Here’s how you can strengthen your finance pillar: Create a realistic budget that aligns your spending patterns with your short-term and long-term goals. Build an emergency fund that covers at least 3 months of expenses. Educate yourself about personal finance, smart investing, and wealth planning. Consult an expert for sound financial advice when needed. Failure to balance life pillars Failure to balance the pillars of life can result in more than temporary stress. Indeed, neglecting one or more aspects of life can create a domino effect that can disrupt one’s entire life structure, thereby impacting wellbeing. For instance, workaholics may achieve success at the cost of strained relationships and fading health. Similarly, those struggling with digital distractions or lack of a clear routine may find it difficult to stay productive and may face financial hardships. Digital overconsumption can also result in stress, anxiety, and digital burnout, according to a survey study of 202 participants published in Science Direct. The resulting burnout can also lead to a decline in physical and mental health, in addition to eroding one’s chances for long-term success and happiness. Takeaway: Balancing the pillars of life A fulfilling life doesn’t come from shining in just one aspect – it develops when we nurture all the key areas of life that make it meaningful. While the pursuit of a balanced life can seem elusive in this fast-paced world, Jung’s ageless wisdom, combined with decades of modern research, reminds us that genuine success stems from harmony in different pillars of life, namely health, relationships, financial security, fulfilling work, and personal growth. ● Images: shutterstock/VectorMine, shutterstock/Harbucks, shutterstock/Peopleimages.com - Yuri A happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Self care | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram. -
Being your authentic self can feel risky in our current screen-obsessed age, wherein we constantly strive to fit in. Sonia Vadlamani explains why it’s essential to let go of the fear of being judged in order to be yourself. Learn how to be authentic with these 8 techniques. Being authentic in this technology-dominated era can be challenging, especially when we’re constantly bombarded with messages of who we ‘ought to be’, what we ‘should’ desire and how we ‘must’ express ourselves. Consequently, many of us have at some point portrayed ourselves as who we think we are or want to be perceived as, rather than representing who we really are. The downside of portraying who we aren’t is that we’re telling ourselves that the real or true version of us isn’t worthy of being seen. This constant fear of being judged or rejected can chip away at our ability for authenticity. Luckily, there are techniques you can learn how to be more authentic, which we will explore later. Why is it Difficult to Overcome Inauthenticity? As children, most of us were taught by parents, teachers and other shaping forces like society and religion to ‘fit in’ or conform to a prescribed set of rules and practices. As a result, we ingrain beliefs, thoughts and emotions and exhibit behaviours which allow us to ‘blend in’ and be accepted, be it to form connections, find love or pursue success. This need to fit in and do as we’re taught is stimulated by our “Adaptive Self”, which primarily plays the role of helping us function and coexist in the society in a purposeful way. RELATED: Inner Child Work and Therapy: How to Heal Past Wounds However, in our constant struggle to carve our niche in the society as we balance our inner-selves and our outer aspects, sometimes we tend to suppress or hide our true selves. This can prevent us from activating our “Authentic Self” and living a meaningful life in tune with our values and purpose. Authentic Self Meaning “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we actually are,” states Brené Brown, research professor at University of Houston. Brown has spent decades studying shame, courage and vulnerability. Authenticity can mean different things to different people, but in general it refers to the ability to live by our values, speaking our truth with assertiveness, and developing the courage to allow our true selves to be seen. How to be authentic: embrace who you truly are Indeed, authenticity is a fundamental component of happiness. A study by Alex M Wood et al revealed that authenticity is an integral part of well-being. Being authentic can also improve self esteem as well as lower stress and anxiety. How to be Authentic: 8 Techniques Discovering our authentic self is essential for happiness and forming meaningful connections. Reclaiming authenticity involves identifying our core values, letting go of borrowed notions of perfection, and changing our perspective to see vulnerability as an act of courage, instead of something to be avoided. So, here are eight practical ways you can take steps to cultivate authenticity and learn how to be your authentic self more easily. 1. Identify your core values Creating a connection with our true nature is essential for finding our authentic self. Start by identifying some values that are fundamental for you: which values make you happy and which are the values you cannot absolutely compromise upon? Incorporating visualization meditation into your daily routine can help the process of value identification. For example, some of my core values for a happy and meaningful life are honesty and openness in relationships, kindness and empathy for myself and others, gratitude for the gifts I have in my life, along with constant learning for growth. Indeed, your core values arise from your own expectations, needs and experience, and need not be the same as anyone else’s. “Authenticity refers to the ability to live by our values, speaking our truth with assertiveness, and developing the courage to allow our true selves to be seen.” Once you list your core values, break each one down into three actionable steps that will help you live these values better. Since I value honesty and openness in my relationships I try to practise mindfulness, deep listening, and forgiveness, so that I can live in closer alignment with my core values. 2. Start making conscious decisions Sometimes, we wade through the day in auto mode without even contemplating if our thoughts and actions resonate with our authentic selves. Try observing yourself keenly to learn more about how you react to challenges, what motivates you, the nature of your social interactions, etc. Notice which behaviours and settings evoke responses from your Adaptive Self, and which of these responses feel authentic to you. Once you’ve spotted the discrepancies between your actions and values, you can utilize this self-awareness to devise conscious statements and actions that resonate with your authentic self. 3. Devise and uphold your boundaries “To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves — there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect,” as Joan Didion, the renowned American writer famously said. Cultivating authenticity requires us to give up the temptation to appease others and the need to behave in a way that makes us more likeable. Indeed, learning how to be authentic is not always easy when it comes to the practicalities; living fully by your principles may require difficult conversations, a potential job switch, or even ending a friendship. RELATED: 'Who Am I?' A Practical Guide to Self-Inquiry Radical Self Care: 8 Ways To Put Your Well-Being First, Unapologetically Uncomfortable Truths – How to Say 'No' However, by being honest about our boundaries, we’re indicating to our subconscious that it’s OK to not be perfect all the time, thus developing self-validation. Authenticity allows us to share our vulnerability with appropriate boundaries in place, ie, with people who share the same values, and those who you feel comfortable with. Cultivate authenticity by setting boundaries 4. Instill mindfulness If you're curious how to find happiness, mindfulness can help you find contentment in the small joys that each day brings, thus boosting your mood and overall joy levels. Additionally, being mindful allows you to observe and understand how you feel and react towards various stimuli in your environment. Keeping physical reminders of mindfulness quotes and practising mindful listening are some effective ways to improve self-awareness and slowly cultivate your authentic self. 5. Practise letting go In her bestseller book The Gifts of Imperfection, Dr. Brown reveals that letting go plays an essential role in cultivating your authentic self. While Brown’s research on shame and vulnerability largely reveal that most people allow their inhibitions to take over due to the fear of being emotionally exposed, she came across a group of outliers who reacted differently to such potentially uncertain situations. Dr Brown calls these outliers ‘the wholehearted’, and she named this way of living the ‘wholehearted living’. “Learning how to be authentic is not always easy; living fully by your principles may require difficult conversations, a job switch, or even ending a friendship.” According to her research, wholehearted living comprises of embracing imperfections and living life to one’s fullest potential, without letting the fear of other people’s opinions affect their beliefs and actions. Being your authentic self requires you to accept that what others think of you is none of your business, and cultivate the courage to let go of thought-patterns and limiting beliefs that no longer serve you. 6. Exercise compassion towards yourself and others Practising self-compassion allows us to be supportive, kind and accepting towards ourselves, in addition to boosting authenticity in relationships. That’s according to researcher Kristin Neff, who was the first to measure the construct for self-compassion. Furthermore, practising loving-kindness meditation can prove to be an effective tool for reinforcing feelings of connection and kindness with oneself and others, thus aiding the development of one’s authentic self. Practising compassion cultivates authenticity 7. Embrace vulnerability We often shirk away from being authentic due to the fear of being judged or getting distanced from people around us. Start by asking yourself what you are afraid may happen if you put yourself out there in a scenario that makes you feel vulnerable. Next, proceed to imagine what would happen if you avoided expressing your feelings or needs or asking for that raise that you think you undoubtedly deserve. Could the inability to share or express yourself potentially result in depression or self-sabotage? Thereupon, remind yourself why it’s important for you to live your authentic self by overcoming the vulnerability hangover. Further, you can formulate a rational approach or well-devised plan for expressing your feelings and needs, in a way that is in sync with your authentic self. 8. Set goals for constant learning Staying curious, developing a growth mindset, and being open to self-improvement through ongoing learning can help you attain your authentic self at a sustained pace. Your goals should not just be related to the pursuit of wealth and success – research shows that non-materialistic life goals lead to happiness more than materialistic goals. An objective as simple as integrating awe into your life can inspire you to learn new things about yourself and life around you. The Takeaway: How To Be Authentic While we are conditioned from an early age to suppress or hide our authentic self, authenticity is essential for building a life that brings us meaning and joy. Examining our true self to develop authenticity can be a long and cumbersome process, but the rewards in terms of greater life satisfaction and improved relationships make it worth the effort. ● Images: shutterstock/ESB Basic, shutterstock/imtmphoto, shutterstock/GoodStudio Looking how to find your authentic self? Try the 8 techniques above and let us know in the comments below how it goes or if you have any other suggestions. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Moral Courage | Mediation | Coaching Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.
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Yes, happiness is a choice and not a result of achievements or materialism. From choosing gratitude to quality friendships, maintain a happy vibe with these 8 tips from Calvin Holbrook. As editor of this happiness magazine, you'd be forgiven for thinking that I leap out of bed each morning after a restful slumber with a grin on my face, full of great intentions for the day ahead. Not so! Indeed, for the main part, for me, happiness is a choice, rather than my natural state of being. In fact, like all of us, I’m not happy all the time (let’s face it, that would just be weird). In reality, for me, authentic happiness doesn't signify a lack of negative feelings such as sadness and pain, but an ability to experience a wide spectrum of emotions while managing to appreciate – and stay focused on – the positive things that I do have in my life. According to psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, roughly 50 per cent of our natural happiness level is genetically determined (our so-called happiness set point). I believe my own happiness set point started out lower down the scale, but, with work, I’ve managed to boost it because – over time and consistently – I’ve made the choice to be happy, even when my life circumstances and situation were sending me into a spiral. Choosing kindness is choosing happiness Choosing to be happy is a constant effort, and to be honest, it’s not something that comes naturally. In fact, I’ve had to train myself to think happy. Indeed, like millions of us, I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety, lived through periods of debilitating panic attacks, and dealt with episodes of rumination that have beaten my mental health and happiness down. Along the way, I’ve learned that these problems should not define me or my mood. Indeed, I can still see happiness as a choice, but it requires focus and effort to stay positive (and, of course, professional help or medication when appropriate). Happiness fuels success, not vice versa The majority of people go through life thinking that happiness is something that happens to them as a result of success or something good happening, for example, getting a pay rise or getting 100 new likes on their latest Instagram post. Indeed, lots of people don’t realize that happiness is a choice, and instead go through the motions in life, waiting for joy to pop up and slap them in the face! “No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive to focus on. Since happiness is a choice, find things in your life you’re grateful for.” However, science shows that this type of instant gratification doesn’t really make us happy (not in the long-term, anyway). In fact, there is no magic pill to finding happiness. However, there is one thing that is required to boost well-being, and that is work. Work? Ugh! 'Fraid so. Because happiness is a choice, it needs to be worked at consistently, with effort, care and dedication. RELATED: Happiness Is A State of Mind: 8 Ways to Develop It In fact, I believe the root to happiness is in the work you put into it. You have to commit to being happy, prioritize it, focus on it, and remain disciplined as much as possible, even in those dark and difficult days – especially on those dark days! If happiness is a choice, how can I work on it? It sounds staggering, but it’s reported that we make around 35,000 remotely conscious decisions every single day. From seemingly inconsequential stuff about choosing what to eat and what clothes to wear, to bigger things like who to love, how to spend our free time, whether to move city or quit the job we feel stuck in. Some of our choices turn out to be great and others not so. What they have in common though is that all of these choices are based in our deep desire to be happy. These choices make up part of our ‘life activity’. As mentioned earlier, genetics make up roughly half of happiness levels. The remainder depends on our circumstances (10 per cent) and this so-called ‘life activity’ (40 per cent). Paws for thought: choose meaningful relationships (pets count!) While we cannot always control our circumstances, we do have more control over our life activity. And if that life activity is said to be responsible for almost 40 per cent of our happiness, we can focus on making better choices here to increase our happiness levels. In fact, we can even make choosing happiness as one life choice! OK, I hear you: all of this is easier said than done. Life is tough. Shit happens. True, there are many challenging things that we will experience in life and we know that the only certainty is change (and the upheaval it can bring). This doesn't mean that all of life is bad, it just means that life isn't easy. But happiness does not come from your circumstances or your situation. Happiness comes from a choice that you make within. Learning how to choose happiness I’ve had to train my brain to choose happiness, even when my circumstances suggested the opposite. I believe I’ve boosted my natural happiness set point by carrying out specific ‘feel happier’ activities. If you're struggling to find the root of happiness, incorporate these eight science-backed tips into your daily life and you may start to feel happier. Stick at it, put in the hard work, and you should see results. 1. Choose gratitude and look on the bright side No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive you can find to focus on. It could be the fact you have a place to live, friends and family that love you, have clothes to wear, or even that you have eyes to see and legs to walk with. There are millions of people in the world that don't have all of these things. RELATED: Top 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice 23 Gratitude Affirmations For Attracting Happiness Gratitude Meditation: 5 Benefits and How to Practise Since happiness is a choice, start finding things in your life that you're grateful for. It could also be seemingly small, general things that we often take for granted, such as the smell of cut grass, the sound of the ocean, etc. Writing these things down in a gratitude journal helps to solidify your happiness further. Develop an attitude of gratitude and jot down three good things about every day: studies have shown that doing this increases optimism, reduces anxiety, and chemically changes the brain to be more positive. 2. Choose to think positively Try to live by the ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ anecdote. Focusing on positive thoughts and trying to reducing negative thinking is easier said than done, but give the following technique a try. Each time you have a negative thought, simply replace it with a positive one. This practice will help to retrain your habitual thought patterns to bring more positive thoughts and happiness into your life. “Happiness is a choice, not a result of something else. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.” Changing perspective on your situation will help you find happiness. If you’ve made a mistake – however big – try to focus on your past achievements instead, visualizing your previous successes and happy times. 3. Choose to smile Turn that frown upside down! One of the most important figures in the fields of mindfulness and meditation, Thích Nhất Hạnh once wrote, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”’ Grinning gains: stay smiling and choose happy Indeed, studies have shown that smiling and other external expressions work as a continual feedback loop, helping to reinforce our internal emotions. A study by scientists at the University of Kansas found that making yourself smile can help lower your heart rate during stressful activities. So, smiling even when we feel down will gradually makes us feel happier (and healthier). Try smiling at strangers, too: as well as being a choice, positivity is contagious. 4. Choose meaningful relationships/interactions Research shows that happier people have rewarding social relationships. Indeed, humans are a social species and need regular contact. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness, with recent studies show it can even be as harmful to mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. "Research shows that happier people have rewarding social relationships. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness.” So, to make a happiness a choice, choose quality friendships. In fact, prioritize being nice to people you don't know also: even a short positive interaction with a stranger has been proven to contribute to boosted well-being. 5. Choose kindness When you choose to do kinds acts for other people, so-called happiness hormones are released, boosting your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of well-being and satisfaction. Endorphin levels also rise, leading to a phenomenon known as a 'helper’s high’. MORE LIKE THIS: The Power of Kindness: the Ripple Effects of Being Nice Human Kindness: Why We Need It More Than Ever 7 Ways to Choose Kindness Every Day Another physical benefit of kindness is that it can help to lower anxiety. Social anxiety is associated with low positive affect (PA), which relates to an individual’s experience of positive moods such as joy, interest, and alertness. A four-week study on happiness from the University of British Columbia found that participants who engaged in kind acts displayed major increases in their PA levels that were maintained during the study duration. Be kind to others and experience a 'helper's high' 6. Choose to be more mindful Mindfulness meditation is an great way to try to increase your happiness levels. Start your day with just 10-15 minutes of meditation, shortly after waking: the immediate heightened inner clarity and focus it will give you will set you up for they day ahead. RELATED: 10 Types of Meditation: Which Style Is Best For You? 9 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature Many studies have shown that meditation can boost happiness levels by reducing stress hormones, shrinking the part of the brain that controls anxiety, and by stopping rumination, amongst other things. And, according to Psychology Today, meditation is the strongest mental practice to reset your happiness set point, thus turning you into a more joyful person and literally rewiring major areas in your brain. 7. Choose a purpose Meaningfulness is a happy factor that you can extend throughout your whole life. Whether it's volunteering, gardening, or becoming politically active, activities with a purpose have been shown to boost people's happiness and reduce stress levels at the same time. A study from the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that people who took part in such activities became 34 per cent less stressed and 18 per cent less sad. 8. Choose to be satisfied Ex-US President Theodore Roosevelt once said, “comparison is the thief of joy.” And in today’s Insta-ready society this rings true more than ever. In a social media savvy world, flaunting your money, travels and other supposed successes or happiness is all too common. However, if happiness is a choice, then comparing yourself to other people will only result in unhappiness. Rate your mates: quality friendships bring happiness In fact, data from a 2010 survey of 19,000 Europeans showed that those who compared their incomes to others were less happy with what they had. The comparisons that were most damaging to happiness were when people compared their incomes to those of school and university friends (even though we know that money can’t buy happiness, right?) Choose to be satisfied with what you have and stop comparing your life to that of others. The takeaway: why happiness is a choice Abraham Lincoln is famously quoted as saying, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” And he was right. Happiness is a choice but also a daily practice that requires time, effort and dedication. By carrying out our suggestions above, you should hopefully start to see some benefits. But, if you still fail to feel happy, take time to think through your actions. Are you doing the things you need to choose happiness or are you letting your emotions take control? If you’re trying to feel happier and you remain down or are struggling with depression, consult with your GP or therapist to seek professional help. Happiness is a choice and choosing help is a also a great step to getting started if you’re feeling blocked. • Images: shutterstock/New Africa, shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri. A, shutterstock/Dmytro Zinkevych, shutterstock/Personal Belongings Choosing happiness becomes easier when you have the right tools to help you. Sign up free to happiness.com today and share and support others in our forums. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Unhappy in Life | Gratitude | Lemonading | Purpose of Life Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, as well being an artist and lover of travel, swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.
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Can 12 ideas be described as constituting pillars of well-being? Ed Gould examines the ideas of leading psychologist Rick Hanson that can help you optimize your happiness. An expert in his field and creator of the 12 pillars of well-being, Rick Hanson is the author of several books on happiness and well-being. In Hardwiring Happiness, for example, the eminent psychologist discusses how recent scientific studies have led to a greater understanding of the correlations between neural structures and mental well-being. A senior fellow of the Greater Good Science Centre at University College Berkeley, Hanson's scientific ideas have featured in many news features around the world, such as with the BBC and CBS. He has spoken at Oxford, Stanford and Harvard universities, to name but a few. Gratitude: one of the 12 pillars of well-being However, Rick Hanson is probably best known as the founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, an institution that is centred on his idea of the 12 pillars of well-being. Along with his other best-selling publications, Just One Thing, Buddha's Brain and Mother Nature, Hanson produces a free newsletter that has over 100,000 subscribers. Throughout his published work and regular newsletters, Hanson's extensive career has been leading many to the 12 pillars of well-being concept. What are the 12 pillars of well-being? What is it that Rick Hanson can teach us about happiness and contentment and how do the 12 pillars of well-being help us to achieve them? Let's examine Rick Hanson's concept in the first place. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } “Hanson's 12 pillars of well-being are designed to create a simple path that will enable you to grow a dozen strengths needed for better well-being.” The first thing to note about the Rick Hanson model of well-being is that it is two-dimensional. This is not to say that it has no depth, rather that you can imagine the 12 pillars of well-being laid out on a grid. Across the top of the grid are the names of the “Four R's” which constitute the grid's four columns. According to Hanson, these represent the mainstays of well-being: Recognising Resourcing Regulating Relating Running horizontally are three core needs we all have: Safety Satisfaction Connection From either the core needs or from the category of well-being, it's then possible to get to each of the 12 pillars. For example, where Resourcing coincides with Connection, the pillar is named as “Confidence”. Alternatively, where Regulating and Safety intersect, the pillar would be “Calm”. Because the 12 pillars of well-being are arranged, or, more accurately, can be thought of in this way, it's possible to truly understand which each one represents. “Mindfulness” and “Motivation” are both pillars that connect to the core need of Satisfaction, for example. The 12 Pillars of Well-Being: Dr Rick Hanson How to use the 12 pillars of well-being Hanson's 12 pillar concept is designed to create a simple path that will enable you to grow a dozen strengths needed for better well-being. However, they are not simply healthy habits to get into or new ways of thinking about the world. The pillars are designed to make alterations inside your brain so that you can get the most out of your life. Primarily, Hanson is using the well-known medical phenomenon of neuroplasticity within each of our brains to reorganize neural networks. He's showing us how this can be done for improved mental and lifestyle outcomes. Much as someone who has suffered a brain injury will learn how to perform certain tasks using other parts of their cortex, so the 12 pillars of well-being can help us to rewire our brains for beneficial effects. How does this work? .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } “Hanson's pillars of happiness remind us that our neural networks need rewiring from several different angles at once to achieve a true equilibrium.” You may already work on your self-development in particular ways. For example, you may have embarked on a programme of self-compassion by reaffirming positive things about yourself each day. Under Hanson's 12 pillar model, you are “Recognising” the core need of “Safety” by being self-caring in this way. Every time you go through a ritual of self-caring or take the time to compliment yourself, then you're reinforcing a neural structure at a physical level within the brain. Equally, if you're working on scientifically-proven techniques to improve confidence, such as working on your support network more regularly, then Hanson's model would ascribe this to “Resourcing” your core need for “Connection”. However, these are just individual examples of rewiring neural networks. The point is that having the 12 pillars of well-being in place will help to make sure that you're not missing out on any single element. Love yourself: self-care is one of the pillars of happiness All too often, we identify a need for our inner well-being and focus on that. Although this is perfectly understandable and very human behaviour, it's not always the best route to overall mental well-being. Hanson's pillars of happiness remind us that our neural networks need rewiring from several different angles at once to achieve a true equilibrium. Indeed, he points out that 12 essential elements, or pillars, lie at the heart of improving ourselves, not just one or two. Think of it regarding an athlete training for a competition. In this analogy, if they only work on one or two muscle groups, then they may find improved physical performance in some areas. However, if they neglect the other parts of their body, then they could find themselves going backwards in others. RELATED: The Attitude of Gratitude: 6 Ways it Can Change Your Life 7 Mindfulness Tips For Staying Engaged Top 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice This is what Hanson is teaching us with the brain's need for 12 pillars to be fed at once, from mindfulness to gratitude, and from vitality to learning. As long as we work on each of our three core needs across the four mainstays of well-being, then each of the 12 pillars will contribute to a rewired brain that truly sets us on the path to greater enlightenment and better mental well-being. Each pillar has a role to play What's more, Hanson's 12 pillars of well-being gives us a good idea of how to work on each pillar. As just one example, if we look at the fifth pillar, gratitude, Hanson describes what needs to be done to heighten behaviours that relate to gratitude. He shows us how to take pleasure by releasing inhibitions and focusing on all of our sensory experiences, not just on one or two. Furthermore, under the fifth pillar, he teaches how to take pleasure from every day, even mundane, things. Watch: The 12 Pillars of Well-Being with Dr Rick Hanson Similar advice can be found for each pillar of life, such as developing a sense of 'unilateral virtue' and 'speaking from the heart' under the tenth pillar of courage. Taken together – and not in isolation from one another – each pillar offers a step on a wider path. Like all journeys, each step forward marks progress but, crucially, will also lead to physical changes in our brains, as well. More information on each of the 12 pillars of well-being and some great instructional videos can be found at the Foundations of Well-Being. ● Images: Colourbox.com, shutterstock/Julia Savalishina Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's a practitioner of Reiki.
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8 Ways To Cultivate An Abundance Mindset and Mentality
Calvin77 posted an article in SCIENCE & PSYCHOLOGY
Can an abundant mindset radically affect our choices and determine the course of our lives? Sonia Vadlamani believes so. Here she shares explains the meaning of abundance mindset and mentality, and offers eight simple yet effective ways to cultivate them. When Henry Ford famously stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right”, he was emphasizing how our attitude and beliefs determine our success or failure. While we may not realize it, self-limiting thoughts can have a lasting negative impact on our lives, whereas positive reinforcements and a bright outlook on life can help us make better choices, resulting in successful outcomes. The term 'abundance mindset' was first coined by Stephen R Covey in 1989, in his best-selling book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. According to Covey, those choosing an abundance or abundant mindset believe that there are unlimited resources available for every individual, and that long-term success warrants creation of a win-win situation for all. Abundance mindset vs scarcity mindset In contrast, Covey refers to scarcity mindset as viewing life as a limited resource, wherein one can get only a share of the pie, while the rest is reserved for others. Those with scarcity mindset believe there just isn’t enough love, time, or money out there for everyone: each thought and every action of theirs is an endeavour to grab the limited opportunities. Adopt a mindset of abundance for positive changes An experimental study based on neuroimaging revealed that abundance mindset enables individuals to make goal-oriented decisions. On the contrary, those with scarcity mindset perceive limited resources to be available to them, which may impact their decision-making abilities adversely. A victim of the scarcity mindset myself until a few years ago, it took me a while to realize that I was limiting myself by remaining in the ‘if only’ trap – assuming that my life would be perfect if only I earned a certain amount of money, bagged that exclusive contract, went on that dream vacation, etc. When I eventually realized that my scarcity mindset was confining me in a victim complex, I consciously looked for ways to expand my awareness and recognize all the growth opportunities around myself. Indeed, escaping the scarcity bubble might seem impossible at first, but consistent focus and determined action plan drawn towards developing an abundance mindset helps immensely. “Those with an abundance mindset and mentality can perceive the highest potential in every situation. There are always more options, great possibilities and unlimited resources for the abundance-minded.” Sometimes, it may be easy to confuse scarcity mindset with a temporary setback, like being in financial shortfall. Being broke could be a short-lived situation in your life – in fact, not having access to everything you ever desired could prove to be a valuable lesson and help you to be grateful for everything you do have. How is an abundance mindset beneficial? An abundant mindset or abundance mentality is believed to favor personal and spiritual growth. Psychology professor Carol Dweck revealed that people with “growth mindset” believe that talent is merely the starting point and abilities can be honed with consistent efforts towards betterment. These individuals tend to be more equipped to deal with stressful situations and believe in their ability to generate more successful outcomes as compared to those with a 'fixed mindset'. Individuals with abundance mindset are perceived to be: more creative and inspired to create favorable outcomes for everyone around unfazed even through adverse circumstances more assured about their ability to create high-value results of an amplified magnitude more focused on creating meaningful, unhindered, satisfying life experiences 8 ways to develop a more abundant mindset Here are some practical and effective ways to start creating a life of abundance. Incorporate them into your life and try to witness positive changes. 1. Believe in infinite possibilities Those with an abundance mindset and mentality can perceive the highest potential in every situation. While scarcity mindset imposes a perceived limit on the resources available, there are always more options, great possibilities and unlimited resources for the abundance-minded. RELATED: 7 Ways to Develop a Can-Do Attitude Training your mind to see limitless opportunities in place of shortcomings can be a gradual process. You can start by deliberately expanding your awareness while relaxing your focus, and then asking yourself how you could approach a situation from a different perspective, in a scenario where you know you couldn’t fail. 2. Understand the power of your thoughts “What you think, you become. The mind is everything,” Buddha taught us. The law of manifestation asserts that our inner world reflects our outer reality, and that our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions determine what we manifest into the physical world around us. Taking time to notice the kind of self-limiting or scarcity-based thoughts you experience would allow you to identify your thought patterns and shift them gradually towards abundance. An abundance mentality encourages the best version of you 3. Stop comparing yourself to others Scarcity mindset can compel individuals to constantly evaluate how they compare with others. However, those with abundance mindset tend to only compare themselves with regards to the vision and standards they set for their own selves. 4. Incorporate gratitude as a daily practice Gratitude is a powerful emotion for creating abundance. In fact, there is ample scientific research that establishes the benefits of gratitude as a daily practice, like improved mental health, stronger relationships, and enhanced personal happiness. RELATED: Top 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the easiest ways to integrate gratefulness as a daily ritual and harness the benefits of an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude meditation can also help you build a habitual focus on appreciation of good things in life. 5. Build win-win situations for all Those with scarcity mindset view life as a defined 'cake' and believe that if someone gets a big slice of the cake, the others are left with smaller portions. Abundance mentality views life as a sum of collaborative efforts instead of competitive endeavors. RELATED: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! Creating win-win solutions through interaction and collaboration can lead to mutually favourable results – this way, there is plenty of cake for everybody. 6. Be willing to learn According to Covey, the desire for learning and growth towards mastery experiences forms the basis for abundance mindset. The key to abundance is to make learning a habit and to create mastery experiences in at least one area of your interest. “Abundance mindset is believed to favor personal and spiritual growth. People with growth mindset believe that talent is merely the starting point and abilities can be honed with consistent efforts towards betterment.” James Clear, the author of the best-selling book The Power of Habit explains how the principle of ‘marginal gains’ or tiny improvements on a daily basis can aggregate over time. This brings about a dramatic shift in how we achieve successful results. Indeed, by making 1 per cent improvements in small areas in your life consistently, you could witness exponential growth and create remarkable results for yourself as well as others around you. 7.Create daily affirmations that encourage abundance Scarcity mindset stems from fear; be it the fear of inadequate resources or insufficient skill to achieve one’s goals, etc. An experimental study by J. David Creswell et al pointed out the benefits of self-affirmation in the form of improved problem-solving abilities even in stressful situations. RELATED: How to Find Meaning in Life: 7 Strategies Using daily affirmations can help bring about a gradual yet steady shift in your mindset from scarcity to abundance. Start with jotting down your fears and worries. This will help you expand your awareness. Next, make a suitable action plan as a response to these concerns in a way that will enable you to overcome your fear of failure, so you can lead a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Start your day with positive affirmations 8. Surround yourself with others with abundance mindset “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” stated Jim Rohn, and with good reason. Accordingly, choose to invest your time and resources in building a community of people who elevate your outlook on life and bring out the best in you. This will also help you minimize the unproductive time spent with ‘negative nellies’ or unsupportive and unproductive people who add no value to your life and only create stressful situations instead. Surrounding yourself with positive-minded and empowering people will help you develop an abundance mindset. Takeaway: Meaning of abundance mindset and mentality An abundance mindset and abundant mentality can have a positive effect on our physical health, emotional well-being, happiness, relationships and even our financial decisions. Keeping that scarcity mindset at bay might seem difficult to begin with, but by following the eight tips above you´ll be able to see that abundance mindset develop and shine through. • Images: shutterstock/sun ok, shutterstock/KieferPix, shutterstock/Hitdelight happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Positive psychology | Motivation Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram. -
When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading!
Calvin77 posted an article in INSPIRATION & SPIRITUALITY
We all understand the classic adage 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,' but have you heard of the newly-coined expression 'lemonading'? Sonia Vadlamani explores how lemonading – or adopting playfulness – can help you navigate life's uncertainties with greater ease. Life is full of uncertainties. And – as most of us have realized by now – no one can predict the outcome of the challenges that arise. We’ve all heard the saying 'when life gives you lemons make lemonade', but what if our minds don’t instinctively choose an outlook based on positive reframing? The good news is that we can consciously choose to adopt so-called 'lemonading' as a mindset. So, what is lemonading? Coined by researchers at Oregon State University, the term 'lemonading' refers to the ability to see the positive side when life presents you with metaphorical ‘lemons,’ thereby making it easier to navigate the obstacles. The central idea is that those with a more 'playful' outlook on life or the ability to shift their perspectives during uncertainty tend to be more resilient and find solutions with greater ease. Led by Dr Xiangyou Shen, the 2021 study analyzed how people coped with the COVID-19 pandemic, exploring how one’s perception of limitations and disruptions affected their ability to adapt to tough times. The research revealed that individuals who were more playful maintained a positive outlook on an uncertain future while staying realistic towards the limitations of the present. This ability to “creatively imagine and pursue positive possibilities to cultivate adaptive, enjoyable experiences while maintaining a clear-eyed realism about challenges” – lemonading – can help individuals thrive and find happiness, even amid chaos. How does lemonading work? It’s important not to confuse lemonading with toxic positivity. While toxic positivity dismisses setbacks and challenges, lemonading embraces the presence of hardships, allowing room for difficult emotions like sadness, disappointment and fear, while actively seeking ways to combat the situation. It’s about using your strength, determination, and creative problem-solving skills, rather than pretending everything is fine. Playfulness is an integral part of lemonading Instead of downplaying difficulties, lemonading encourages you to shift your perspective to ask yourself, “What resources do I have to work through this situation?” or “How can I approach this challenge in a creative way?". In principle, lemonading acknowledges that life gets tough sometimes – but when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. In other words, you make the best use of your resources. How to practise lemonading Lemonading may come more easily to some, but anyone can learn to turn life’s “lemons” into something better with a shift in perspective and a touch of playfulness. Here are some ways to develop the art of lemonading: 1. Cultivate an adaptable mindset When life gives you lemons, it’s natural to fall into a detrimental cycle of repetitive and intrusive thinking. Obsessive thoughts and rumination can take a toll on both mental and physical health, contributing to conditions like anxiety, OCD-related disorders, and even impaired decision-making ability. Indeed, you can navigate life more easily by training your mind to find the silver lining. “Instead of downplaying difficulties, lemonading encourages you to shift your perspective and ask, 'what resources do I have to work through this situation?'” Rather than dwelling on setbacks, make a conscious effort to shift your focus toward possibilities and opportunities in any scenario. This reframing technique is at the heart of lemonading – it not only allows you to feel stress-free faster but also encourages proactive problem-solving instead of remaining stuck in negativity. 2. Practise gratitude Gratitude is a powerful resource for lemonading, given that the human brain is wired toward negativity. Research shows that cultivating an attitude of gratitude can foster positive emotions and enhance our ability to cope with difficult situations. Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus to what’s going well in your life, while gratitude meditation is a great way to acknowledge your blessings. Setting aside a few minutes each day to reflect in silence on the things that bring you joy is a simple yet effective way to reframe your perspective. 3. Create your go-to set of positive affirmations Positive affirmations are statements that can help you navigate uncertainties and challenges with a more optimistic attitude. According to researchers at the University of Pennsylvania, practising self-affirmations can help rewire the brain’s perception of self-worth, leading to positive behavioural changes. RELATED: 23 Gratitude Affirmations For Attracting Happiness Affirmations can feel uncomfortable at first, so try speaking to yourself in the third person, like a supportive mentor or teacher would. For example, try saying something like, “Hey, you’ve got this!” or “You know this only seems harder in your mind than it actually is.” 4. Find the fun in everyday moments Laughing is easy when life is going well, but finding humour in difficult situations is much harder. However, embracing humour during difficult times may just be what you need for lemonading like a champ. According to the relief theory by Martin and Ford, humour acts like a relief valve, much like a steam pipe pressure valve in a hydraulic engine, allowing release for any built-up tension through laughter. Another study by Yale psychologist Oriana Aragon suggests that laughter strengthens resilience by helping us regulate our emotions in the face of challenge, aligning perfectly with the essence of lemonading. When life gives you lemons, embrace humour! 5. Switch things up occasionally While routines provide stability and structure to our day, shaking things up occasionally helps break monotony and spark creativity. This doesn’t mean abandoning your schedule entirely but rather making small, intentional changes – introducing something new while maintaining your overall rhythm. The concept of lemonading is centred around the idea that it’s OK to embrace change, since it promotes personal growth. MORE LIKE THIS: What Playfulness Can Do For Your Relationship These 4 NLP Techniques Will Change How You Think How to Prime Your Mind For Optimism Indeed, American philosopher Henry David Thoreau once observed how easily our brains get hardwired, leaving us feeling we’re stuck in a rut. Research on neurogenesis and neuroplasticity by Christopher Bergland suggests that we can rewire our brains to explore fresh perspectives, helping us approach challenges with renewed clarity. Try taking a different route to work, listening to a new music genre, or exploring an unfamiliar part of your city. These small shifts can dissolve your preconceived notions and reservations about change and open you up to new possibilities. 6. Incorporate play into your day Getting shit done shouldn’t be your only goal for the day – making it more enjoyable and memorable is just as important. Playfulness is a powerful trait for individuals facing adverse conditions, as revealed by a study by Rinat Feniger-Schaal et al., as it allows them to reclaim autonomy and build emotional resilience. “Surround yourself with people who embrace an abundance mindset – those who encourage you to find the positive side when life gives you lemons.” However, avoid the urge to tie play to a specific goal or outcome. Instead, focus on what genuinely brings you joy. Whether it’s baking cupcakes, taking a painting class, volunteering, or dancing to your favourite song, incorporating play can break the monotony and add lightness to your day. 7. Create a community you can count on The power of a strong, supportive community is a key aspect of lemonading. Surround yourself with people who embrace an abundance mindset – those who encourage you to find the positive side when life gives you lemons. Indeed, offering support is just as important as receiving it, as teaching resilience and helping others through tough times is a key aspect of lemonading. RELATED: The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits How to Find Happiness Within: 5 Ways to Build Inner Joy 8 Ways to Challenge Yourself and Live Better We often get so caught up in our struggles that we overlook what those around us are going through. By extending kindness and support, we foster an ‘affiliative connection,’ thus deepening our friendships and reinforcing meaningful relationships. In addition to strengthening bonds, small acts of kindness have other proven benefits, from alleviating stress and boosting immunity to releasing happy hormones like serotonin and endorphins, giving you the uplifting experience of the ‘helper’s high.’ Takeaway: when life gives you lemons Resorting to the advice 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade' may not always seem like the natural or even realistic choice during tough times. Indeed, it’s not always easy to regard the glass as half full when difficulties arise. However, looking on the bright side as a conscious practice can help us stay resilient and, in general, be happier. Adopting the lemonading mindset won’t make your setbacks vanish, but the strategies shared can help you navigate them with greater ease – and maybe even enjoy the process. ● shutterstock/Kit Viatkins, shutterstock/Roman Samborskyi happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Positive psychology | Motivation | Keys to Happiness | Unhappy in Life Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram. -
With record rates of depression, we need to ask: 'what is the key to happiness?'. From lifelong learning to community, Sonia Vadlamani explores how to cultivate a life of joy with our 10 keys to happiness. Spoiler alert: materialism isn't on the list. It's often difficult for us to always feel happy and joyful, be it because of the unrealistic standards of beauty and perfection we impose on ourselves, or the negativity we surround ourselves with. It can be due to the fear of failure embedded deep within our subconscious, or our inability to form friendships and meaningful communities as we grow older. Indeed, there are many unhelpful habits or tendencies we ingrain in ourselves that can make us miserable and unhappy in life. Thankfully, researchers maintain that it’s possible to intervene and cultivate happiness through will and a proper framework. And – by following the 10 keys to happiness outlined below – you could train yourself to maximize your potential for a lifetime full of joy and contentment. Of course, happiness is subjective: it means different things to different people. The interesting news, however, is that our happiness levels are not set in stone. In her ground-breaking book The How of Happiness, researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky points out that while 50 per cent of our happiness is predetermined by our genetic makeup and personality traits, and 10 per cent is determined by our circumstances and life experiences, as much as 40 per cent of our happiness can be chosen wilfully by us, and depends largely on our daily actions. What's the tea when it comes to finding happiness? So, while we cannot change our genes or predict the future, science says that a significant portion of our happiness can be controlled by us. Unfortunately, our pursuit of happiness – as a society and on an individual level – is often misguided, with many people focused on materialism. Psychologist Barry Schwartz addresses this erroneous pursuit of happiness in his book The Paradox of Choice, wherein he points out that the plethora of choices we have available today due to a surge in consumerism often do us more harm than good, resulting in both anxiety and depression. The key to happiness: 10 steps “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions,” articulates the Dalai Lama, who is also the patron of the charity Action for Happiness. While everyone’s idea of happiness may be different, Action for Happiness has identified 10 keys to happiness, or practices that can consistently lead to a more fulfilling and happier life. While the first five keys to happiness refer to our interactions with the outside world, the latter five keys to happiness describe the traits that originate within us and are determined by our attitude towards life. Outside world: daily activities 1. Take care of your body There is an overwhelming amount of research that deems exercise a vital key to happiness and well-being. Indeed, a Yale study conducted on over 1.2 million Americans concluded that exercise is more important for our mental health than money. You need not run a marathon to be healthy and happy – opt for an activity of your preference that suits your health goals and lifestyle. Indulge in mindful running, unplug from technology with periodic forest bathing, or simply swap escalator commutes with stairs. “Make learning a habit. Research shows that people who work on learning a new skill or honing an existing one experience greater happiness consistently.” Eating right can contribute towards better health and happiness too. A balanced diet consisting of whole grains, fresh vegetables and fruit, lean poultry and healthy fats can help you achieve your health goals faster. Opt for foods which promote gut health instead of processed or junk food options for improved mood, better metabolism, and to keep disease at bay. Keeping fit is a crucial key to happiness 2. Practise mindfulness “We’re happiest when we focus on the present moment, and the least happy when the mind is wandering,” says researcher Matt Killingsworth. Mindfulness refers to being in a state of awareness and taking notice of the present intentionally and with complete acceptance. Studies show that practising mindfulness can help manage stress levels, in addition to activating the areas of our brains related to feeling good. RELATED: 7 Mindfulness Tips For Staying Engaged Mindful Behavior: 13 Practical Mindfulness Tools Mindfulness Vs Meditation: What's the Difference? Mindfulness can be developed using simple measures – start by paying attention to your feelings and thoughts as frequently throughout the day as possible. Meditation, mindful minute practices, and gratitude journaling can help in expanding awareness as well. 3. Indulge in acts of kindness Random acts of kindness are not just beneficial for others – in fact, caring for others’ happiness activates the areas linked to trust, enjoyment and social connection in our brains as well. An experiment involving seven-day kindness activities concluded that kindness is a vital key to happiness, whether extended to people who are close to you, complete strangers, or even yourself! Doing things for others can help alleviate social anxiety, improve your mood and prevent illness, thus enabling you to lead a healthy, meaningful life. 4. Make learning a habit Research by Journal of Happiness Studies revealed that people who work on learning a new skill or honing an existing one tend to experience greater happiness consistently. Interestingly, learning something new can be stressful and lower your happiness levels momentarily. However, the joy of acquiring or mastering a new skill can fulfil your need for autonomy or being self-directed, thus rewarding you with long-term happiness. “Exercise a vital key to happiness and well-being. A Yale study concluded that exercise is more important for our mental health than money.” Indeed, it’s important to find a suitable skill to master, or the right challenge to undertake that’ll allow you to push beyond your comfort zone yet enable you to find your flow state. Researchers also found that skills chosen by you offer better results in terms of improved self-esteem and a heightened sense of connection or ‘oneness’ with others. 5. Make meaningful connections Human beings are social animals, and hence it’s hardly surprising when researchers found that forming meaningful connections and embracing community is one of the core values we associate with happiness. Indeed, the importance of a community as a key to happiness cannot be underestimated. In addition to safety and support, we also derive a much-needed sense of togetherness and belonging when we find others who have the same values and interests as us. Meaningful friendships are essential for well-being Scientists agree that interacting with strangers, thus bolstering our ‘weak social ties’ also impacts our well-being positively. Take some time to connect with those who serve you coffee, your cab driver, or a friendly face you encounter during your daily strolls. Gestures like passing a casual compliment, wishing someone a good day, or chatting with an elderly neighbour over a cuppa can make a world of difference to someone who’s been feeling down or struggling with loneliness. Inside world: Developing the right attitude 6. Be at ease with who you are Self-acceptance forms an important cornerstone for our mental health and well-being, yet it’s a routine that we tend to practice the least, as revealed in a survey conducted by Action For Happiness. While acceptance was rated as the strongest predictor of life satisfaction and happiness amidst all the other traits and habits, only 5% of the respondents admitted to being kind to themselves and believed that they were perfect the way they were. RELATED: 12 Ways to Practise Self-Acceptance How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: 7 Techniques That Work Perfectionism and Anxiety: 7 Ways to Cope Practising acceptance as a habit can be difficult at first, but it’s possible to be good to yourself by shifting your perspective. Indeed, embracing imperfections as your unique traits and acknowledging your strengths – however insignificant they seem – can be a crucial key to happiness. 7. Set vital goals Happiness doesn’t always happen spontaneously – it requires planning and action towards pursuing things that matter to you. Goal setting is an important key to happiness, since it forms the outline for the life you envision for yourself. It’s important to set goals to look forward to – not only can proactive goal setting ensure fulfilment of your life ambitions and vision, following an actionable plan and achieving timebound targets using SMART goal setting can boost self-confidence and eliminate stress and anxiety. 8. Develop resilience All of us will face hardship, loss and trauma along our life jounrey, and since our brains are wired for negativity bias, we tend to remember the adverse events in our lives compared to the positive experiences. However, by changing our perspective and looking at hardships as stepping stones towards personal growth and success, we can learn to take back power every time we feel defeated by life. Indeed, building resilience can boost positive thinking, strengthen connections, and improve stress management skills. “Community as a key to happiness cannot be underestimated. As well as safety and support, we also get a much-needed sense of togetherness and belonging.” In fact, researcher Dr Ann Masten describes resilience as ‘ordinary magic’ derived from everyday situations and resources, that helps us adapt better during hardships. There is surmounting scientific evidence that developing resilience as a life skill and finding ways to bounce back from adversities can contribute immensely to our well-being and happiness 9. Cultivate a positive outlook “Just as water lilies retract when sunlight fades, so do our minds when positivity fades,” states researcher Barbara Fredrickson in her book Positivity. Indeed, research suggests that experiencing ‘upward spirals of positive emotions’ like gratitude, joy, interest etc. more often allows us to counteract the downward spirals of negative emotions like stress, jealousy, etc. Gratitude journaling, smiling more often, finding ways to incorporate awe into your life are some easy ways to boost positivity. Lifelong learning is another key to a happy life 10. Find meaning in your life Feeling connected to something larger than ourselves or possessing a sense of purpose in life is linked with greater life satisfaction, improved self-esteem, lasting relationships, and a more optimistic attitude. Leading a meaningful life could seem like a complicated process, but you can begin by prioritizing activities that bring you joy and a sense of purpose such as volunteering or trying to make a difference in others’ lives. RELATED: Happiness Is A Choice: 8 Ways To Choose It Today The key to happiness here is to understand where your calling lies and set out to follow your bliss. ‘Life Crafting’, or the process of reflecting on your strengths and interests, and aligning them with your vision, passion and desires, can be used as the framework for setting goals conducive to the meaningful life you wish to lead. The takeaway: what is the key to happiness? “It is work to be happy,” says psychologist Barry Schwartz. Indeed, there’s more to happiness than feeling good about pleasurable things, but the good news is that it can be cultivated by consistently encouraging the 10 keys to happiness or happy habits listed above into our lives. Instead of trying to implement all the keys to happiness at once, try reflecting on what each individual key means for you, and devise ways to implement them using simple action plan, to be able to lead a rewarding and happier life. ● Images: shutterstock/santypan, shutterstock/Lordn, shutterstock/Ground Picture, shutterstock/UrbanScape happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Motivation | Positive psychology | Lemonading | Internal Conflict Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.
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There are many different types of Buddhism. Ann Vrlak explains the unique components of the main four Buddhist branches: Theravada, Mahayana, Vajrayana, and Chan/Zen. You don’t need to wear a robe or shave your head to explore Buddhism. This worldwide religion is practiced by people who want tools to live more simply and mindfully, all the way to those who want to dive deep into a more spiritual lifestyle. To take a quick look back, Buddhism was born over 2,500 years ago in the region now known as northern India. With the help of a vast web of trade routes, Buddhism spread across Asia, and eventually around the world. The Buddha’s teachings were influenced by the various cultures they came into contact with, to create many different forms of Buddhism. These adaptations are both cultural and personal. For example, a culture might place high value on community. Or, someone might have a personal value of individual responsibility. The good news is, the branches of Buddhism now offer a doorway for everyone to enter. Buddhism has multiple branches: which suits you best? Let's take a look at the four most prominent types of Buddhism: Theravada, Mahayana, Vajrayana and Chan/Zen Buddhism. 1. Theravada Buddhism If you’re drawn to learning about personal awakening and responsibility, Theravada is the branch of buddhism to begin with. It is the oldest surviving branch of Buddhism and the most traditional, practiced primarily in Southeast Asia: Thailand, Laos, Sri Lanka, Myanmar and Cambodia. Theravada Buddhism has a structured, disciplined approach to spiritual growth. Building self-awareness is key – examining how the teachings are reflected in your unique life circumstances and challenges. “If you’re drawn to learning about personal awakening and responsibility, Theravada buddhism is the place to begin. It is the oldest surviving branch of Buddhism.” This school of Buddhism has a foundation of deep practice, always favouring direct experience over conceptual understanding. The ultimate goal is individual enlightenment: liberation from suffering. Theravada Buddhism is grounded and practical, with insight and mindfulness meditation as the central practices. They are integrated into daily living, as well as long periods of meditation and contemplation. This intense practice is honourable, whether it’s done by those on the monastic path or everyday practitioners. In a nutshell Theravada offers a step-by-step, structured approach to personal awakening. 2. Mahayana Buddhism The “Great Vehicle” is used to describe Mahayana Buddhism. Mahayana expanded from India, into China, Japan, Vietnam and Korea to become one of the most influential schools of Buddhism. While Theravada puts individual enlightenment at the centre of its philosophy and practice, Mahayana believes the goal is awakening for the sake of all beings. In fact, Mahayana sees individual enlightenment as a contradiction or misunderstanding. To highlight that perspective, this type of Buddhism uses the core idea of the bodhisattva. This is someone who devotes themselves to practice not only for themselves, but for others. In fact, the selflessness of the bodhisattva is said to be so pure they “hold themselves back” from total enlightenment until all beings can join them. Meditation is a key component of Theravada Buddhism For Mahayana Buddhists, development of compassion is given equal importance to wisdom. True wisdom is not realized, unless it is interwoven with compassion. So, Mahayana practice focuses more on a direct awakening of the heart. There is a wide range of practices and texts, based on the belief that there are many “skillful means” to open one’s heart. Practices include chanting, visualizations and devotions. In a nutshell If placing compassion at the centre of your spiritual life feels best to you, embracing the benefits to others, begin with the Mahayana branch of Buddhism. 3. Vajrayana Buddhism Vajrayana Buddhism grew out of the Mahayana tradition and is its most elaborate form. If you have seen any of the Dalai Lama’s rituals or temples, you had a glimpse of the complex world of Vajrayana Buddhism: mandalas, sand paintings, deities, symbols and chanting. This “Diamond Vehicle” of Buddhism came to its most intricate expression in Tibet and the Himalayan Regions of Nepal and Northern India. “Which type of Buddhism calls to you? Each has its own way to understand and engage with our human experience.” It is these rituals and objects that differentiate Vajrayana Buddhism from other schools of Buddhism. These are much more than symbolic.They are intended to directly affect your mind and energy. Contemplating a mandala, for example, does not engage your thinking mind. It resonates with a deeper way of seeing life’s patterns. This branch of Buddhism, more than others, is considered a serious commitment that depends on a relationship with a teacher. In a nutshell If you’d like to learn a casual meditation practice, one of the other types of Buddhism is best. Vajrayana Buddhism is for you if you want to dedicate yourself to consistent inner work with an established teacher. 4. Chan/Zen Buddhism Now, we go to the other end of the complexity spectrum to Chan/Zen Buddhism. In both China (Chan Buddhism) and later in Japan (Zen Buddhism), practitioners wanted a stripped-down, essential spiritual philosophy and practice. Chan/Zen Buddhism centres on ideas that might sound familiar to you: simplicity and mindfulness in everyday activities, and direct experience of the awakened view through disruptive practices. Let’s briefly look at these concepts, especially the latter. Mindfulness is core to Chan/Zen Buddhism Chan/Zen encourages mindfulness and practices around every action you take; honouring everything, no matter how small. This idea is behind tea ceremonies and creation of rock gardens. When you do simple, mundane activities, with full attention and reverence, something rich shines through. RELATED: Visualization Meditation: How to Practice it Do Buddhists Believe in God? What Goes Around Comes Around: is Karma Real? Koans are one of Chan/Zen’s most infamous tools. These are paradoxical sayings that your mind can’t untangle, so not only does it become frustrated, but it temporarily “goes offline.” When your day-to-day mind lets go, a direct experience of reality breaks through. In a nutshell If using tools to bypass your usual way of thinking is exciting to you, try Chan/Zen koans. They are creative, surprising ways to wake up your mind. Chan/Zen Buddhism is also a powerful way to begin a practice that embraces mindfulness of everyday actions. Takeaway: Types of Buddhism Which branch of Buddhism calls to you? Each has its own way to understand and engage with our human experience. The four types of Buddhism we have talked about here offer a doorway in for people with different goals and personalities. And, if you want to explore, there's no reason you can’t try all of them. See which buddhism type supports you best in areas you care about – and that might be different at different stages of your life. Curiosity is all you need to begin. ● Images: shutterstock/Dilok Klaisataporn, shutterstock/Christophe Badouet, shutterstock/Microgen happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Gratitude | Altruism | Acceptance | Ethics & Morals Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.
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23 Daily Gratitude Affirmations To Attract Happiness
Calvin77 posted an article in INSPIRATION & SPIRITUALITY
Can creating targeted gratitude affirmations boost our well-being? Sonia Vadlamani explores the science behind practising gratitude in the form of positive affirmations and offers insight on how to do it yourself. “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions.”, stated Zig Ziglar, the renowned motivation speaker. Several religions and spiritual gurus advocate gratitude as the ‘social glue’ that binds people and communities together for greater good. However, there is more to gratitude than merely being a cultural construct – researchers agree that one’s ability to be grateful is strongly associated with their physical and psychological health, happiness, and overall life satisfaction levels. What is gratitude? Put simply, gratitude refers to taking the time to reflect on and appreciate all positive aspects of your life. While it also includes social niceties like thanking others or random acts of kindness, gratitude entails expressing appreciation towards ourselves as well as other positive developments and experiences around us. Numerous studies have reinforced the importance of gratitude for our physical and mental well-being, as well as our happiness and overall life satisfaction levels. However, researchers consider gratitude to be a fundamental resource, especially because it can be incorporated with ease in our daily schedule without much fuss in the form of positive affirmations, journaling or meditation. How does gratitude work? To begin with, gratitude can help us overcome the ‘hedonic treadmill’, or the human tendency to become desensitized towards positive things that happen to us over time. For example, dreaming about getting a promotion at work, driving a snazzy sports car, owning a sprawling bungalow, etc. must have made you happier than actually attaining these things, since we are conditioned to return to our baseline contentment quickly after a sharp surge in happiness levels. Practise gratitude affirmations in front of a mirror shutterstock/fizkes Practising gratitude may help slow down hedonic adaptation, thus enabling us to maximize our happiness for all the noticeable milestones as well as the simplest pleasures in life. Furthermore, gratitude can help us overcome negativity bias, or the human tendency to focus more on the negative outcomes and experiences, allowing us to gradually develop a more optimistic point of view. Gratitude can also regulate our mood, improve health and even boost our productivity levels. Moreover, being grateful creates a lasting impact on the human brain, as per a study conducted by Joshua Brown et al at University of California. Using an fMRI scanner to measure the brain activity of participants who wrote gratitude letters, researchers noticed that those who practised gratitude were more sensitive towards recognizing acts of gratitude, which may contribute towards improved mental health in the longer run. Gratitude and the science behind positive affirmations While they may seem like products of “wishful thinking” at the outset, gratitude affirmations are positive statements that can create a powerful impact on our mind and outlook. As humans, we tend to subconsciously ingrain negative thought patterns and self-limiting beliefs which hamper our growth and happiness. Positive affirmations are essentially messages to your subconscious, meant to challenge your habitual ways of thinking and behaving. A review study by DK Sherman et al revealed that positive self-affirmations can considerably broaden an individual’s overall perspective. Additionally, repeating these positive statements over a period of time helps reinforce new neural pathways in a process called cognitive restructuring, which enables the mind to actually rely on these statements in stressful times, making it easier to cope with the duress. “While they may seem like products of 'wishful thinking' at the outset, affirmations are positive statements that can create a powerful impact on our mind and outlook.” Indeed, positive affirmations can help us lead more authentic lives by encouraging us to focus on areas which hold greater personal value for us, instead of seeking validation from others. Adding an element of gratitude to these self-affirmations can magnify positive emotions further, enabling us to cherish the present more and invite happiness and abundance freely into our lives. 23 gratitude affirmations you can try Gratitude affirmations are aimed at limiting self-sabotaging thoughts through conscious repetition and replacing negative beliefs with constructive statements or resolutions. You can choose to include specific areas in your life, like building confidence, financial freedom, body positivity etc. and design affirmations centered on bringing improvements in these areas. Here are some examples of gratitude affirmations you can repeat: Affirmations for daily gratitude I’m grateful for my secure and safe home. I’m thankful for access to clean, hygienic water and nourishing food. I’m grateful for the wonder that my body is, all that it accomplishes and is capable of. I appreciate the beauty of nature that surrounds me, and my ability to pause and savor it. Gratitude affirmations for love and relationships I’m grateful for the love and affection I receive from my loved ones, which I try to reciprocate to the best of my ability. I’m thankful for nurturing loving and supportive friendships, and I try to support my friends to the best of my ability. I appreciate the unconditional love my pets have for me, and how they enrich my life with their warmth and loyalty. I’m deserving of cultivating long-long-term connections. I’m thankful for attracting healthy relationships in my life. Positive affirmations can help you focus on self-improvement Gratitude affirmations for manifesting success While my thoughts may vary through the day, my grateful spirit is reflected in every decision I make and each action I undertake. I realize that learning is a constant process, and I’m thankful for the lessons I learn every day. By appreciating everything I have and all that is working in my favor, I tap into abundance and invite great opportunities into my life. I believe I am the creator of my success and happiness. I’m thankful for all I have achieved thus far and grateful for the ability to manifest my goals for the future. I’m grateful for the support and dedication by my teammates or employees to achieve our collective goals and milestones. Gratitude affirmations for confidence and positive outlook I’m thankful for the person I am today, and the person I am constantly evolving into during this journey of perpetual self-growth. I’m positive that the Universe is looking out for me and grateful that it’s sending out the best possible outcomes my way. I understand and appreciate that I can achieve everything I set my mind and heart to, provided I go in fully prepared to put in the hard work required to achieve it. I realize that each obstacle in my journey thus far has been an opportunity for learning and developing resilience, and I’m grateful for these life lessons. Gratitude affirmations for financial freedom I’m perpetually amazed by and grateful for how abundant my life already is. I’m thankful for a positive cashflow, and I’m inviting abundance every day with my focused thoughts and consistent actions. I enjoy a constructive relationship with money and I’m grateful for the wisdom to spend my money wisely. I surrender any resistance I may have towards attracting money. I’m thankful for my ability to create the financial freedom I deem myself worthy of. How to practise gratitude affirmations Fortunately, gratitude affirmations are simple to define and easy to implement as well. The key to making your affirmations more efficient involves identifying your core values or problem areas that you wish to target. Positive affirmations can help you focus better, find your flow state, help you combat stress and anxiety – the possibilities are endless. RELATED: 8 Ways To Cultivate An Abundance Mindset A great way to make your affirmations more effective is to repeat them out loud as you face the mirror, also known as ‘mirror work’. “Looking at yourself in the mirror will make you aware about your intentions and reflect your feelings, strengthening your connection with the affirmations”, advocates Louise Hay, healer and author of bestselling book Mirror Work: 21 Days to Heal Your Life. “Positive affirmations can help you focus better, find your flow state, help you combat stress and anxiety – the possibilities are endless.” Maintaining a gratitude journal is another way to strengthen your affirmations, as writing about gratitude can aid improved emotional regulation and better adherence to goal-setting. Start by sparing 15 minutes of your time every day to jot down at least 5 gratitude affirmations in each area you wish to focus on. It is important to set self-doubt and judgment aside while you do this – consider this to be an honest reflection of your feelings for the day. Gratitude meditation is another reliable medium to supercharge your affirmations. Indeed, research points out that focusing on one’s blessings and positive events in life can improve their well-being. Getting started with gratitude meditation routine is easy. Choose a convenient time (preferably early morning or before bedtime) and dedicate at least 10 minutes of your time to focus on your chosen gratitude affirmations. Takeaway: gratitude affirmations Gratitude is a powerful emotion – indeed, developing an attitude of gratitude can revolutionize your overall well-being and happiness levels. It's important to be consistent and patient with whichever practice you’ve chosen to proceed with, as the benefits of gratitude affirmations can take a while to become apparent. Thankfully, building your ‘gratitude muscle’ is an enjoyable and free process, and the rewards you reap will make it worth the effort. • Main image: shutterstock/krackenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Motivation | Altruism | Lightwork | Self-Validation Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram. -
Many of us tend to shy away from the discomfort of uncertainty. However, as psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains, embracing the unknown and adapting to new situations often leads to personal growth and increased strength. The art of embracing the unknown should be a mandatory school subject. It is a skill most of us lack – which is only natural – and all of us necessitate. I am not an adventurist. It is probably not cool to admit that about yourself, but that is how it is. I have tried to avoid terrains that were out of my comfort zone for my whole life. Indeed, I am not the kind of person who will leave everything and go to Nepal to see how things will pan out. I do admire those people – but I am not one of them. However, no matter how fond of certainty I may be, life has got it in for me. Yes, it is unpredictable by definition. And always will be. Take the COVID-19 pandemic, for example. No one saw it coming. Many people had to make changes to how they work, socialise, live. It was a great unknown – and still is – but we have had to embrace the changes it has brought. Indeed, there will always be uncertainty in everybody’s life. So, how do we learn to accept and adapt to it? How can we embrace the unknown? Embracing the unknown and personality One of the most well-known, established, and used psychological tests, BIG-5, resides on an empirically confirmed assumption about five broad personality traits. One of those traits is openness to experience. This trait includes the following aspects: active imagination (fantasy) aesthetic sensitivity attentiveness to inner feelings preference for variety (adventurousness) intellectual curiosity challenging authority (psychological liberalism) People who score low on this scale are more conventional in their thinking and behaviour. They are usually closed to the unknown and new experiences. Such an individual prefers regular routines over new experiences. Open new doors and welcome the unknown Conversely, according to research, someone who has high openness to experience might have a broader range of interests. They could be more creative and knowledgeable because they are fine with uncertainty. In other words, such a person is not reluctant to jump right into new information and experience. Changing perspective to welcome the unknown Therefore, some people are simply more open to experiences. That is their personality trait. However, it only means embracing the unknown and the uncertainty of life comes naturally to them. It does not mean you cannot learn to shift your perspective and do the same. Let us explore several argument points that will help you shift your perspective from being afraid of uncertainty to embracing uncertainty. 1. Realise that everything is impermanent Obviously, nothing lasts for ever. But we secretly hope good things do. This is why we are so afraid of uncertainty. However, when you think about it, you will realise that you have never been 100 per cent certain about how things will unfold. Also, nothing ever stayed the same. All things pass. When you accept this thought, you might start feeling more confident about facing the unknown. 2. Letting go of attachment is beneficial When we cling to things and people, we suffer. It is one of the four noble truths in Buddhism. Attachment, albeit a natural human feeling, has a dark side to it. When you are attached to something, be it good, bad, or neutral, you become convinced you cannot go on without it. “Embrace the unknown. Uncertainty is everywhere, whether you like it or not. It is the path towards true joy and openness to life’s wonders.” When you learn to let go of past hurts, hopes or anxieties about the future, you can then go with the flow of life and enjoy it without fear. 3. Every new path and experience means growth You always learn when you try something new, regardless of how successful or not you might have been. And with learning comes growth. It was once believed that we were born with all the neurons we would ever have. Nonetheless, we now know that new neurons get formed during adulthood, too. The same goes for new neural pathways. If your counterargument is: “It might be painful”, remember all the instances in which you endured pain for the sake of growth. Start with teething as an infant, for example. You would not relinquish your teeth because it hurt a little, would you not? Embrace the unknown: every new path means growth 4. Surviving the unknown makes you stronger It may be a cliché, but think of the unknown and uncertainty as an opportunity to survive and become stronger because of it. RELATED: Following Your Bliss: 5 Steps to Get Started The Time is Now: How to Stop Worrying About the Future One Upside to the Feeling of Uncertainty Unpredictable situations will arise, that is certain. They all bear valuable life lessons, no matter how petty or profound they may be. When you overcome obstacles and swim back out to the surface after a storm, you find yourself tougher and wiser than before. 5. There is always one thing you can control: your reactions When you fear uncertainty, you fear the loss of control. However, know that you can always control one thing, no matter what happens to you. Your reactions are absolutely in your power. Whatever happens, you will decide how to respond. We may not be able to control much of what happens to us in life, but we can choose how to handle the circumstances. So, ultimately, you do have control over uncertainty because you command your thoughts and behaviours. 6. The unknown can make life exciting Embracing the unknown comes with a recognition of the mysteriousness of life. Even though your first response might be: “Yes, I want to know my future!” upon closer introspection, you might be surprised. “To embrace the unknown is to live the life as it was meant to be lived — being surprised by all its miracles.” Indeed, a recent study from the University of Granada confirmed that most people do not really want to know what lies ahead. In fact, only 1 per cent of people consistently said they would want to know their future. Furthermore, between 40-70 per cent of participants in the study said they would not even want to know about the positive events in their future. The numbers for negative events are even higher – 85-90 per cent would not want to find out ahead about adversities that await them. To embrace the unknown is to live the life as it was meant to be lived — being surprised by all its miracles. Embrace Uncertainty: 6 Ways So, how can we learn to embrace the unknown if it is not our second skin? How do we learn to accept uncertainty and even enjoy it? Here are some ideas on how to stretch your comfort zone little by little: Stop overthinking and overplanning Trust your ability to land on your feet, no matter what happens. The next time you have a decision to make, embrace the unknown and do not try to predict your distant future. Stick with the immediate facts and choices. Learn to live in the present moment Another Buddhistic wisdom we all would benefit from – living in the now. We cannot change the past. We cannot predict the future. While we are trying the latter, we are missing out on the only thing we do have – the present moment. Indulge in spur-of-the-moment experiences I am not propagating recklessness or risky/unhealthy behaviour. However, when things are safe, do allow yourself some impulsiveness. I am talking about an unplanned trip with your friends, for example. Even taking an unplanned route to work or anywhere else could help you practice embracing the unknown. Do not compare your past experiences with what is happening right now. If you do, you might start acting on the basis of what had happened sometime before, not what is going on right now. And you could fear the outcomes that once ensued – but you do not know what will happen this time. Switch fear for curiosity A 2021 study published in Current Psychology revealed that mindfulness truly contributes to meaning in life. However, this relationship is mediated by curiosity and openness to experience. In other words, when you decide to be curious about what happens next, you will learn to embrace the unknown and uncertainty and, at the same time, help other beneficial psychological processes to evolve freely. Exercise gratitude When you develop the habit of being grateful, you also learn to notice how every situation brings something to be thankful for. Such a skill will help you embrace the unknown because you know that every cloud has a silver lining. Takeaway: Embracing the Unknown Uncertainty will always be a part of life. This is a given. And, paradoxically, the more you try to prepare for the unpredictable, the more surprised you may become. I am not saying you should give up on acquiring information, planning or developing your skill-set. You should always strive to be the most resilient and resourceful version of yourself. However, if you see the unknown as the enemy, chances are, you will not be able to enjoy the variety of life. The unknown comes with both the good and the bad. If you only expect enjoyable experiences and avoid anything new for your fear of adversities, you might miss out on half of life. So, embrace the unknown. Uncertainty is everywhere, whether you like it or not. When you welcome it into your existence, you will be at peace. Embracing the unknown is the path towards true joy and openness to life’s wonders. • Images: shutterstock/everst, shutterstock/StunningArt happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Courage | Assertiveness Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.
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What is gratitude meditation and how do you practise it? Sonia Vadlamani answers these questions plus explains five great benefits it brings. Plus, discover three great gratitude meditation YouTube videos to get you started. Do you want to reap more from your life – whether in the form of happiness, enriched relationships, enhanced sense of well-being or increased efficiency? Do you wish to amplify your existence and make life more meaningful, instead of feeling like you barely exist amidst the chaos of daily life? Gratitude meditation can help you achieve these things, and it's also one of the simplest meditation types you can practise. What is gratitude? Derived from the Latin word gratus, gratitude is the ability to feel thankful and show appreciation for all things good in your life. Have you ever observed how you feel a spur-of-the-moment gratefulness when someone does something kind for you, or surprised you with a lovely gesture or gift? The emotion you felt was that of gratitude, and studies show that practising thankfulness every day can help change your life for the better. In fact, scientific studies have found that gratitude can be the ‘social glue’ that promotes positive outlook, strengthens relationships, and help us to become better, happier human beings. What is gratitude meditation exactly? Gratitude meditation, as indicated by the name, is a kind of meditation centered on feeling grateful. While there are many other styles of meditations out there, gratitude meditation is one of the easiest you can practice anywhere, even in the midst of a hectic work schedule. What's more, it's also one of the most rewarding styles of meditation. JOIN US! Discover more about meditation at happiness.com. Belong to a community that cares Gratitude meditation focuses on bearing in mind various things you're thankful for in life and letting that feeling of appreciation take a stronghold inside yourself. For example, it could be appreciating family members who are always there for you, friends who always cheer you up, or colleagues who share the workload with you so you don’t have to do overtime. Great to be grateful: gratitude meditation has many benefits Additionally, you don't always have to meditate on a noticeable act – gratitude meditation also enables you to take pleasure in the simple things in life you're grateful for like the ability to see, hear, taste and walk, or something as intangible as the important lesson you learnt from a difficult phase you were going through at some point in your life. The origins of gratitude meditation Research suggests that the foundations of gratitude were inspired from religion. Mindfulness and meditation expert Jack Kornfield is quoted as saying: “Buddhist monks begin their day with chants of gratitude for their blessed lives. Meanwhile, Martin Luther described gratitude as the “basic Christian attitude”. Indeed, millions of Christians celebrate Thanksgiving every year to count their blessings and express their appreciation for all they have. “Gratitude meditation also enables you to take pleasure in the simple things in life, like the ability to see, hear, taste and walk.” Meanwhile, Hinduism advocates that “one with an attitude of gratitude is closest to achieving Moksh, or freedom from karmic life-cycles,”, states Uma Mysorekar, M.D. Do you have to be religious to practice gratitude? Of course not. Experts agree that gratitude is not limited to religious pursuits – you can be thankful for the gifts of life without being religious. Benefits of gratitude meditation There are many advantages to incorporating a gratitude meditation practice into your life. Here are five of the most important: 1. Greater sense of happiness Studies have shown that practising gratitude can consistently and effectively make you happier. Counting your blessings can make you feel more optimistic and help you develop and maintain a positive attitude throughout the day. Indeed, a study revealed that gratitude could be the most-needed positive intervention that can prevent depressive thoughts and help individuals lead a happier, content life. 2. Improved mental health Could you ever have guessed that gratitude meditation can also rewire your brain to be better equipped to deal with adversity or difficult phases of life? Practising gratitude meditation sensitizes the brain towards helpful acts and appreciable things in life, thus enabling us to break free from the endless loop of worries, rumination, fears and insecurities. 3. Stronger personal relationships Practising gratitude meditation has even been show to protect marriage and strengthen friendships. Expressing your thanks for friends, colleagues and spouse can make them feel appreciated and valued, reinforcing your bond with them and preventing miscommunication or conflict. 4. Better physical health Feeling grateful for good things in your life can make a difference in your outlook towards life, enabling you to feel better, live to the fullest and even sleep better. Indeed, grateful people are more likely to experience heightened state of mind, eat healthily, exercise more often and live longer. 5. Increased social circle Ever noticed how some people make friends effortlessly and instantly? Grateful individuals can trust more easily, express their appreciation in more straightforward fashion, and make friends with strangers with better ease. A 2014 study from the University of New South Wales (UNSW) Australia was the first to show that for thanking a new acquaintance for their help meant they were more likely to seek an ongoing social relationship with you. “Saying thank you provides a valuable signal that you're someone with whom a high quality relationship could be formed,” said UNSW psychologist Dr Lisa Williams, who co-conducted the research. Gratitude meditation: how to do it Great news: kickstarting a gratitude meditation routine is simple! All you need is a quiet corner and minimal time (10-20 minutes on average, depending on the technique you choose). “Gratitude meditation is one of the easiest you can practice anywhere, even in the midst of a hectic work schedule.” You could even start small, and simply be thankful for the basic amenities and privileges you have in life. Several experts (and even celebrities like Oprah) suggest that maintaining a gratitude journal to jot down all the things, actions, people etc you’re grateful for, can transform your outlook towards life tremendously. Here are three YouTube videos to inspire you to get your gratitude meditation routine up and running: The Mindful Movement: 10-Minute Morning Meditation for Gratitude This meditation can form a part of your morning ritual, preparing you to start the day on a more positive note. Ever feel trampled under the weight of senseless material pursuits, or dissatisfied by what you have achieved so far? Practising gratitude daily using this technique will open your eyes to the fact that what you have is enough, and that you are perfect. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Mary Kate: Gratitude Meditation To Shift Your Reality Using the powerful tool of Law of Attraction, this gratitude meditation technique shows you how to attract miracles in your life. Appreciating the smallest gestures and acts of kindness and being thankful for everything you have will help you manifest happiness and abundance every single day. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Dan Lok: 15-Minute Guided Gratitude Meditation for Abundance & Miracles Renowned business magnate and educator Dan Lok shows how to energize your day and attract abundance by being grateful for everything you have using a simple yet effective visualization technique. You begin by relaxing and asking yourself what and who all you're grateful for, and if there are things you're taking for granted. This meditation is very easy, and helps you develop more compassion, empathy and appreciation for everything good. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Round-up: gratitude meditation In conclusion, the benefits of gratitude meditation are many. Gratitude is not only a humble acknowledgment of how blessed our life is, but also a doorway for attracting abundance, happiness and prosperity our way. What's more, incorporating gratitude into our daily lives is very easy and hardly requires any additional effort. Are you getting started today? ● Main image: shutterstock/ WAYHOME Studio happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Mental health | Compassion | Empathy | Vedic meditation mantras Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.
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What Goes Around Comes Around: Is Karma Real?
Calvin77 posted an article in INSPIRATION & SPIRITUALITY
The laws of karma say that everything we do in life – good or bad – has consequences: what goes around comes around. Ann Vrlak explores the meaning of karma in buddhism and hinduism and ponders the question: is karma real? Karma is an interesting notion, isn’t it? It’s actually an Eastern concept that’s become common in Western cultures. It’s understood to mean “what goes around comes around”, or we say someone “has good karma” if things always seem to go their way. The Eastern meaning of karma, that originated in Hinduism and Buddhism, has a deeper meaning and intent. So, what is karma and how does karma work? Here's an introduction to what karma is and isn’t, and how different religions define it. What Karma Means Though karma has various meanings depending on the religion, at its core it means “the law of cause and effect” – that the things we do have consequences for us. If you knowingly lie to someone, for example, it ripples out like a negative wave that sooner or later comes back to you. Or, if you show kindness to a stranger in trouble, something positive will return to you. RELATED: The Power of Kindness: the Ripple Effect of Being Nice Human Kindness: Why We Need it More Than Ever 7 Ways to Choose Kindness Every Day What karma is not is a punishment. It is simply a principle of life, religious traditions say, that will help followers lead a harmonious inner and outer life. Is karma real? That’s up to you to decide! Let's consider the religious and social value of believing it is. Different Religions See Karma a Bit Differently Let's look a bit more in depth at how two major Eastern religions – buddhism and hinduism – integrate karma into their teachings. 1. Hinduism What if your actions shaped not only your current life, but your next life as well? Hinduism takes a long view of human existence, that our lives are an ongoing cycle of life, death, and rebirth. So, harmful actions create what is called “karmic debt” – a burden that you carry into your next life. Religions that believe in karma say this explains why some people have life patterns that aren’t easily explained by their life circumstances. When they were born, the effects of their past negative actions came with them. Karma: what goes around, comes around But, the good news is, the opposite is true for a person who lives an honest, moral life. They do not carry a lot of karma into their next life to be “worked out.” Their time in the cycle of life is shorter than someone who carries a heavy karmic debt across many lives or “incarnations”. There are also different types of karma in Hinduism, and all are connected closely to the concept of dharma. You’ll see karmic concepts in Jainism, Sikhism, and some New Age philosophies, too. 2. Buddhism Like Hinduism, Buddhism frames karma simply as consequences of intentional action, not punishment. Buddhism teaches than intention is everything; that the quality of mind behind your actions determines the karmic effects. In part, this speaks to unintentional harms you cause that do not affect your karma, but knowingly acting in a way that harms others or even yourself creates karma in the form of mental and moral consequences. “Though karma has various meanings depending on the religion, at its core it means “the law of cause and effect” – what goes around comes around.” The Buddha left believers a comprehensive roadmap to follow. In the Eightfold Path and the Five Precepts, he clearly describes actions that create positive vs negative karma. Buddhism also shares the Hindu understanding that karma affects the cycle of rebirth. Someone with a dense karmic debt, Buddhists believe, will be reborn again and again until they clear their karma through moral living. And what if a person eventually achieves enlightenment? They experience nirvana and are freed from the karmic cycle. Dharma vs karma A related concept in both Buddhism and Hinduism is dharma. Dharma is each person’s ethical path through life, as defined by their chosen religion. It explains how karma works: it is the result of how well a person follows their path. Dharma in Hinduism is a form of social moral code that governs individual behaviour. It describes a life that values duty and religious observance. When you stray from your dharma, you create negative karma. Karma helps you lead a harmonious inner and outer life Buddhism, on the other hand, grounds dharma directly in the teachings of the Buddha. Specifically, dharma refers to the fundamental laws of nature that all beings are subject to. It is less concerned with the social definition of dharma and more with the need to live in harmony with natural law to create positive karma. In both religions, it is not a question of dharma vs karma, but dharma and karma. Together, these principles show followers how to fulfil their spiritual responsibility. How Does Karma Work? One of the best metaphors for karma is planting seeds. Karma doesn’t have an immediate result, but takes root and spreads throughout a person’s life or lifetimes. Picture a beautiful garden where you plant 100 tulip bulbs, rather than just one. And you keep the garden watered, pull the weeds and nourish it with nutrients that help it thrive. “One of the best metaphors for karma is planting seeds. Karma doesn’t have an immediate result, but takes root and spreads in a person’s life or lifetimes.” Positive karma is like that. Your acts, your intentions, your attention all help your good actions take root and grow. And you can imagine another garden that becomes overgrown with weeds through inattention or active harm. Karma is a complex, interwoven process where – sooner or later – you “reap what you sow.” Karma Symbols You may have seen a karma symbol without knowing it! The most common are the endless knot and the wheel of samsara. Karma symbols include the wheel of samsara (left) These symbols are used in religious texts and artwork as a reminder of the principles of karma. The elaborate karma symbol designs suggest the interconnectedness and cyclical nature of all life. As objects of contemplation, these symbols are believed to expand a person’s ability to grasp the complexity and scope of life. OK, but is Karma Real? Of course, there is no scientific way to prove that karma – or the cycle of rebirth that it fuels – exists. It is a core concept that these religions believe helps us to understand this larger view of our lives. Karma helps Hindus and Buddhists to use the law of karma to guide their behaviour toward other beings. Within psychology, karma is often seen as a common sense idea. If you treat others poorly, you may be treated poorly in return and vice versa. But, karma encompasses the idea of self-harm, too. When you harm others, you harm yourself because you have acted against social or universal principles. “There is no scientific way to prove that karma exists. Within psychology, karma is often seen as a common sense idea. If you treat others poorly, you may be treated poorly in return.” Whether karma is real or not, it is a deeply powerful idea that shapes the lives of millions of people. It puts individualism in a different light. Our personal actions and even our thoughts count. They affect us – and everyone around us – much more profoundly than we may think. Takeaway: What Goes Around Comes Around Another way to understand karma is as a moral or spiritual compass. Particularly in modern living, there are so many choices and decisions to make every day. How do you know what to do and where to go? Karma points the way to living according to your dharma. Whether karma is “real” or not, it encourages all of us to believe that our personal actions matter beyond the moment and beyond our own lives. It’s a guide to living with positive intention that is aligned with an expanded view of our humanity. ● Images: shutterstock/ADragan, shutterstock/mr_owlman happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Gratitude | Acceptance | Altruism | Conscious Living | Kindness Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery. -
The Attitude of Gratitude: 6 Ways It Can Change Your Life
Calvin77 posted an article in PERSONAL GROWTH
It’s a fact; the art of practising gratitude can make you happier, healthier and improve your personal relationships. Victoria Haynes looks at the many benefits, and finds some great ways to cultivate the gratitude attitude. Taking the time to be grateful makes a real difference to your daily life. I try to practise the attitude of gratitude as often as possible, and every time I do, I get a little happiness boost. I’m not talking about grand gestures, either; simply thanking someone for holding a door or giving flowers to show my appreciation are all it takes. Knowing I’ve made someone feel good, and seeing their reaction has the power to take my day to the next level. Expressing gratitude in times of crisis is especially important. The Covid-19 pandemic has left people around the globe feeling anxious and hopeless, but if you look closely enough, pockets of gratitude have been popping up everywhere. Around the world hard-working frontline staff have been celebrated with rounds of applause while caring community members have sacrificed time to create much-needed PPE for teams that have been saving lives and caring for the sick. Gratitude has helped to unite communities and give hope where it seemed like there has been none. In fact, as humans, we’re programmed to focus on the negative aspects of life, so it’s not always easy to find things to be grateful for. At the end of a bad day, it can seem impossible to sit down and feel thankful – which is why we need to change our thinking. Choosing to focus on the positives and enjoy the little things, even when times are tough, is the key to cultivating a long-lasting attitude of gratitude. Attitude of gratitude: the benefits There are many scientifically-proven benefits to practising gratitude regularly. From obvious things, such as increased happiness and better relationships, to more surprising positives such as improved sleep patterns, here’s our top six reasons to harness the gratitude attitude. 1. Increased personal happiness Being thankful makes you feel great, and it’s an easy way to get a natural high and reduce negative emotions. It’s not just about you, though; gratitude is a beautiful two-way transaction. Expressing and receiving thanks encourages our brains to release happiness hormones such as dopamine and serotonin, giving us a sudden burst of joy. Journaling for gratitude shutterstock/WAYHOME studio And it’s more than just speculation. In 2009 scientists conducted a study at the National Institute of Health (NIH) into the effects of gratitude on brain activity, and the results were overwhelmingly positive. Subjects showed increased activity in the hypothalamus – the area which releases those feel-good chemicals – when they practised gratitude. Indeed, it’s scientifically proven that an attitude of gratitude has the power to rewire your brain. 2. Deeper relationships As well as making you feel good, adopting a gratitude attitude can build and strengthen relationships with others. It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking those close to you for granted, so remembering to thank your nearest and dearest can do wonders for your relationships. It works in two ways; remembering to be grateful makes us more appreciative of our partners, family and friends, while at the same time creating a cycle of gratitude. The more likely we are to express our thanks, the more likely we are to receive it. “Choosing to focus on the positives and enjoy the little things, even when times are tough, is the key to cultivating a long-lasting attitude of gratitude.” This isn’t just limited to loved ones, either – expressing gratitude in the workplace can lead to better communication and productivity. Research carried out at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania found that fund-raisers who had been thanked for their efforts made 50 per cent more fund-raising calls than those that hadn’t. 3. Improved patience and decision making You might not naturally link the two together, but striving to be a grateful person is a great way to improve your patience and decision making levels as well. We live in an age where we’re encouraged to aim for more of everything; bigger houses, more holidays, a better paid job. Many people want it all and they want it now! Studies have shown that people who happen to be more grateful, also tend to be less impatient and make better decisions. The thinking is that the more able you are to see the positives in your current situation, the less likely you are to crave new short-term gratification. 4. Boosted resilience Being grateful changes your entire outlook on life. It gives you the ability to thrive under pressure, make the best of difficult situations and allows you to find the good in an otherwise terrible day. With patience, you can train your brain to focus on the positives rather than the negatives, giving you the confidence to deal with any kind of adversity. Researchers at Georgia Southern University have proven the theory. They took two groups of people, and asked only one of them to perform a gratitude-based exercise. The group who were assigned the gratitude task reported to have experienced more resilience and coping skills during the experience than the group who hadn’t participated. 5. Reduced anxiety and depression If gratitude can make you happier, it stands to reason it can have a positive impact on mental health problems. If you're living with anxiety or depression, it’s possible that adopting an attitude of gratitude and focusing on the positives could play a vital role in recovery. Aside from encouraging the production of both dopamine and serotonin, gratitude practice reduces the production of stress hormones. In 1998 McCraty et al conducted an experiment into emotional self-management and stress. Their findings showed that there was a 23 per cent reduction of cortisol – a stress hormone – in the experimental group, who had been instructed to take part in an appreciation exercise. Express thanks with gifts or letters shutterstock/StudioByTheSea Another study discovered that the act of gratitude writing was incredibly beneficial to mental health. Researchers asked participants to either write letters of gratitude, note down their most negative experiences, or write nothing. They found that the group who took part in writing gratitude letters reported better mental health several weeks after the study had been completed. 6. Better physical health It’s been scientifically proven that people who practice expressing gratitude regularly also enjoy better physical health. A gratitude attitude is the secret to enjoying less pain, better sleep, less stress and more energy. People who focus on the positives in life tend to be more relaxed and are far happier than those who don’t. “If you're living with anxiety or depression, it's possible that adopting an attitude of gratitude and focusing on the positives could play a vital role in recovery.” Sounds too good to be true, right? Then let the science convince you. In 2003 researchers Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough carried out an investigation into whether gratitude had a positive effect on daily life and well-being. The students who took part and kept a gratitude journal for two weeks went on to report less headaches and other physical ailments than the group who were asked to write about negative events. How to cultivate the gratitude attitude Harnessing an attitude of gratitude doesn’t have to be difficult. At first, it might seem tricky to retrain your brain to look for the positives rather than allow it to focus on the negatives, but the more you practice, the more obvious it will become. Try some of the following methods: Gratitude journals Keeping a gratitude journal doesn’t mean you have to write pages and pages every day. It could be as simple as starting the day by noting down things you’re looking forward to, or ending it by recording a few positive events that happened. The aim is to simply lead your brain away from any negatives. Expressing thanks to family and friends It might sound basic, but just the act of saying thank you to your closest family and friends is a great place to begin on your quest for a gratitude attitude. We often forget to express gratitude for the everyday things – so start now! Writing letters Thankful for something? Write someone a letter and tell them how grateful they are, and how much of an impact they’ve had on your life. Meditating on gratitude If you already practice meditation, you’re halfway there. Meditating on gratitude is the art of sitting quietly and concentrating on all the things you’re thankful for. The gratitude attitude: conclusions It’s scientifically proven that gratitude has the power to change your life. Increased health and happiness, better interpersonal relationships and a boost to your brain power – what could be better? Grab that notebook and start your gratitude journal today. ● If you're interested in learning more about cultivating a more grateful approach to life, consider enroling in our 10-day online course, Mastering the Attitude of Gratitude. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Gratitude | Acceptance | Letting go | Journaling Written by Victoria Haynes Victoria Haynes is a freelance writer from the South Coast of the UK, who loves nothing more than a strong cup of tea, a good novel and the great outdoors. -
Challenging yourself leads to personal growth and fulfillment. Ed Gould asks you to step out of your comfort zone and learn how to challenge yourself in 8 different life areas. As a professional writer, I'm used to expressing myself but this often means staying within my comfort zone. Either I'll write about similar subjects I've written about before or stick to tried and tested formats. Recently, I challenged myself by performing some of the songs I've written over the years. I had not done anything close to this for over a decade! Although I did so primarily for fun, it was a significant challenge to see the project through once I had committed to the idea. What does this anecdote say about how to challenge yourself? What does my experience offer up with respect to the outcomes you might feel of setting a challenge for yourself? Why challenge yourself and are there pitfalls you should try to avoid? Read on to find out what my experience – and the experience of others – reveals about setting personal challenges. What Does Challenging Yourself Mean? When you challenge yourself, you step outside of your comfort zone. This alone means that setting any challenge for yourself is not going to be easy. Of course, how hard a challenge might be will depend on what it is and how tricky you – as an individual – find it to break out from your usual routine. Learning an instrument is a great way to challenge yourself In other words, some people will find it easier to go further with their personal challenges than others. There should be no judgement or self-recrimination based on the nature of the challenge. You can always set yourself a new challenge if the current one turns out to be a bit easier than expected, after all. What you need to know, however, is that when you challenge yourself, you're aiming for genuine personal growth. Your challenge should push you – but never to breaking point. A better life – one that is more fulfilled – is about growing. You want a challenge you can overcome which takes effort, so you'll be able to look back on your achievement with a sense of satisfaction. Setting challenges for yourself can become a healthy habit, too. The better you feel about meeting the challenges you set, the more likely it is you will want that feeling again and again. As such, your personal growth and sense of quiet satisfaction in yourself will likely grow. The Benefits of Challenging Yourself We've just covered one of the main benefits of setting a challenge for yourself: personal growth. Let's re-examine this from the flipside position to better explain it. Imagine for a moment a life in which you never set a challenge for yourself. You'd probably cope well with every situation you encounter in day to day life but what if a true challenge were to come along that you hadn't set for yourself? Circumstances out of our control affect us all the time, after all. How resilient might you be if the last time you'd overcome a challenge was during your development in school or even earlier? You might not have the skills to cope, let alone the resilience. “When you challenge yourself, you step outside of your comfort zone. This alone means that setting any challenge for yourself is not going to be easy.” In other words, by challenging yourself, you are training yourself to cope with anything that might come your way. You are proving to yourself you can do it – whatever it might be – and empowering yourself to deal with difficult situations. That's why any challenge you set yourself must take you out of your comfort zone – even if only a little bit – otherwise it wouldn't be a genuine challenge, would it? There is some neuroscience research which suggests that the sort of brain activity associated with challenging yourself is beneficial for mood and anxiety. To put that another way, the stress you self-impose with a challenge helps to train the brain in ways that make it better able to cope. Set goals and take.a leap with a new challenge With a self-imposed challenge, of course, you are in control. When you get the outcome you want after completing the challenge, the brain will often reward itself by stimulating the ventral striatum, the part of the cortex associated with goal-oriented reward. Quite apart from the biology of challenging yourself, there are psychological factors to take into account, ones which probably interact closely with aforementioned neurological ones. When you overcome a challenge, you prove to yourself that you can succeed. No matter what anybody else may say, you've set yourself a challenge, defined its parameters and worked towards overcoming it. No one can ever take that away from you even if they might want to. This is self-empowering in a way that can lift mood, change self-perception and even alter entire mindsets for the better. Often, behavioural change comes about through cognitive changes. As some studies have shown, achieving goals and challenges can alter the way we think by altering habits. In turn, this leads to positive behavioural outcomes that can make life more rewarding and appreciated. How to Challenge Yourself OK, so setting challenges is a good move for getting more out of life, but how to challenge yourself is a whole other question. The good news is that there are many ways to do so and there will be an approach suited to everyone, no matter what their current mental state. Let's talk about eight of the most common approaches of how to challenge yourself to get the right physiological and psychological outcomes. 1. Self-Reflection Challenges One of the best ways to challenge yourself if the very idea of setting a self-imposed challenge seems too much is to commit to focus on self-reflection or self-enquiry. Keeping a diary or committing to writing thoughts down in a journal every day can be a good first step on your journey. Looking back over entries can be revealing and offer a true sense of reward if you keep it up. 2. Physical Health Challenges From walks in the park to more demanding physical routines, setting a personal goal for your physical health has mental health benefits, too. Doing more physically is a kind of self-love, especially if you commit to something beyond your norm. 3.Skill Acquisition Challenges Trying to learn something new is always hard. That's why it is rewarding, too. Sign up for a language or art class, for example, and give something completely novel a go. You might find your new vocation and you'll probably meet some like-minded people along the way, which is great for boosting happiness levels. “Challenging yourself to improve your mental well-being is a smart move. Anything from increasing your focus on meditation to setting your mind to solving puzzles can be a satisfying challenge.” In fact, studies show that making learning a habit and cultivating more meaningful connections are two of the main keys to happier living, making this challenge-yourself tip an essential! 4. Self-Restraint Challenges Another of the best ways to challenge yourself is to cut out bad habits. Perhaps you know you gossip too much or offer opinions too readily when they're not welcome. Maybe you want to cut down on alcohol intake to feel the benefits of being teetotal, or restrain yourself in another way? If so, setting a personal challenge might be the best approach, especially if you want to gain a greater sense of equanimity in your life. 5. Mental Health Challenges Challenging yourself to improve your mental well-being is a smart move, too. Anything from increasing your focus on meditation to setting your mind to solving puzzles can be a satisfying challenge. Using your brain more helps with cognition and focus, rewarding you with increased sharpness and, yes, happiness, too. A daily mental challenge could be completing a crossword 6. Leadership Challenges If you are tired of always doing the same things, then it might be time to step up and lead. Perhaps you should challenge yourself by going for a promotion at work or maybe quit and start up your own enterprise, even? There again, maybe you can teach or coach informally, helping others with the knowledge and skills you have to share. 7.Self-Kindness Challenges For some, self-kindness is harder than for others. If you find it difficult to get on with yourself, then challenging yourself to be more self-forgiving might not come naturally. This is precisely why it would be a good self-challenge, though. 8. Supported Challenges You don't have to go it alone. Some of the best ways to challenge yourself involve support. You can set group challenges you overcome with others and still get a sense of personal achievement. Setting personal goals with a mentor or a life coach is equally valid as coming up with self-imposed ones. Takeaways: How to Successfully Challenge Yourself Given the numerous benefits of setting and achieving challenges, learning how to challenge yourself can be life-changing. Once a challenge has been overcome, you'll probably want to set more, having gained confidence in your ability to attain goals with greater mental resilience. Find something that suits your personality but be prepared to step outside of your comfort zone. The more you put in, the more you're likely to get out, after all. • Images: shutterstock/Midnight Studio TH, shutterstock/Okrasiuk, shutterstock/New Africa happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Positive psychology | Gratitude | Burnout Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.
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Ann Vrlak explores the concepts of awakening and the path to becoming enlightened – seeing things as they truly are and free of suffering. So, what is enlightenment in Buddhism and is it possible to achieve it? Buddhists use the word “enlightenment” to refer to the goal of their philosophy and practice. But what is enlightenment? And is it something people still believe is possible to achieve today? Enlightenment has a definite meaning. For Buddhists, it describes a state of freedom different from the unhappiness that many people experience – that all of us experience to some degree, the Buddhists would say! Let's dive into this question and the Buddhist perspective on how to achieve enlightenment. And we’ll take a brief look at how and why the Buddha’s own path continues to inspire followers today. What Is Enlightenment In Buddhism? The common impression of enlightenment is a kind of rare religious state that very few people can attain or even imagine. But, the root of the word enlightenment is “bodhi”, which means to “awaken, notice or see clearly.” Enlightenment in Buddhism literally means a state where you see all of reality as it is – ourselves, other people, and the world around us. Opening up to enlightenment in Buddhism As you might guess, this means Buddhism is based on the belief that we do NOT usually see things clearly. Our own past experience and beliefs, says the Buddha, create filters that make it difficult for us to see things as they actually are. It All Began with the Buddha The Buddha based his teachings on his own life as an Indian prince. Everything he thought he knew radically changed when he saw life outside his privileged home. He saw sickness, old age and death – all things his family had protected him from. He became committed to understanding the dilemma of human suffering. After a few years of wandering and seeking, he vowed to sit in one spot until he gained that understanding. He wanted to experience enlightenment first hand. “Enlightenment in Buddhism literally means a state where you see all of reality as it is – ourselves, other people, and the world around us.” For 40 days, he sat under a tree, facing every possible difficulty and temptation. In Buddhist texts, Mara the symbol of illusion, threw all her weapons at him, from doubt, to desire, to fear. Can you imagine what he might have felt and thought, sitting alone for 40 days? In the Buddhist descriptions of his enlightenment, Mara’s weapons became flowers when they touched him. He became the Buddha – the “awakened one.” And he created a clear path for others to follow, regardless of their culture or social status. Is Awakening the Same as Enlightenment? Sometimes the words “awakening” and “enlightenment” are used interchangeably. It’s true they both refer to this kind of seeing through illusion to the reality of life, with one important difference. Awakening is a temporary glimpse. Enlightenment is a lasting transformation. Anyone, whether or not they consider themselves Buddhist, can have an awakening. This experience can develop after working through a spiritual practice or it can be spontaneous. How to achieve enlightenment? Self-examination and pratice One day, you see the ocean drive you take every morning as the most moving, beautiful thing. Or, in a familiar disagreement with your partner, their point of view is suddenly obvious and you see a new way to connect. Enlightenment is also seen as escape from the cycle of death and rebirth that Buddhists believe people pass through, until they are free of suffering. When you become enlightened, you are free in your lifetime. Individual enlightenment is seen as the ultimate attainment in Theravada Buddhism, one of the main branches of Buddhism. What is Enlightenment Like? You have probably heard the term nirvana. It has a rich meaning used to describe the state of enlightenment. It refers to an absence of some things and a presence of others. What Enlightenment Isn’t Nirvana or enlightenment is a state without suffering and without concepts. It means living day to day without anxiety, sadness, fear, greed or jealousy. It does not mean those feelings would never come up for you, but you don’t become stuck in them or even believe them. You understand that they come and go – they are impermanent. RELATED: Do Buddhists Believe in God? How to Practice Buddhism For Beginners How Did Buddhism Spread? Enlightenment also doesn’t mean being indifferent to the suffering of others. Nirvana is a state of deep compassion and the desire to help everyone on the path. What Enlightenment Is The word nirvana means “to blow out,” like you would blow out a candle. Nirvana puts out the flame of suffering, so the peace of life shines through. “Enlightenment is seen as escape from the cycle of death and rebirth that Buddhists believe people pass through, until they are free of suffering. When you become enlightened, you are free in your lifetime.” The foundation of nirvana is a still, spacious mind that allows everything you experience to flow through. A person who is enlightened feels a sense of kinship with all beings, recognizing the same “reality” we all share. How to Achieve Enlightenment Buddha believed that enlightenment in this life, not an afterlife, was a real possibility for everyone who was willing to examine themselves and follow his teachings. In Buddhism, succeeding on the path depends on three core practices: Ethical conduct If our philosophical or spiritual beliefs are not mirrored in our actions, they lack power. Buddhism offers clear guidelines to live with honesty, kindness and an attitude of non-harming toward all things. Wisdom and insight This is both a goal of the path and something we can practice along the way. Wisdom comes through seeing the impermanence at the centre of experience – thoughts, feelings and situations all come and go. Meditation Buddhism regards meditation as the ultimate mind training. Because our minds are so distractible, meditation is the way to develop the stable mind needed to see reality clearly, without fear or distortion. Enlightened buddhist Takeaway: What is Enlightenment in Buddhism? The ideas of suffering and enlightenment are not in any way about blame. In fact, they are deeply grounded in compassion. They say, “This is the way all of us live sometimes! There’s nothing wrong with you, but there is a way to be at peace.” Still, is enlightenment relevant to modern life? You might reflect on questions like these to answer this question: If you exchange the word “suffering” for loneliness, worry, guilt, anxiety or sadness, do you think you “suffer”? Do you think your words, actions and belief can influence how you experience your life – for better or for worse? Have you had moments when you suddenly stepped outside your usual way of seeing or being, and saw things in a totally new way? Enlightenment may seem like an impossible idea or goal. However, even brief moments of awakening can transform your mind. When that happens, the journey towards enlightenment itself becomes an awakening. • Images: shutterstock/Quality Stock Arts, shutterstock/KieferPix happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Acceptance | Altruism | Gratitude Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.