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  1. After being pictured knitting at the Olympics, champion diver Tom Daley put crochet and yarn back in the public eye. Keen knitter Dee Marques looks at the health benefits of this popular pastime – from reducing anxiety to improving cognitive function. Two years ago, I was browsing a crafts store website when something caught my eye. All I saw was a beautifully vibrant teal colour, and then I realised it was yarn. I really wanted to have that colour in my life, so I thought that if that meant learning to knit, so be it! I ordered the yarn, found some YouTube tutorials, and haven’t stopped knitting since. In fact, it turns out that my experience of falling in love with yarn and knitting is quite common. Indeed, knitting is going through quite a revival, with people of all ages turning to the craft and discovering the benefits it brings to their mental health. Let's look at why this traditional skill is so popular again and at some of the interesting health advantages knitting can bring you. Knitting: how it became hip When people think about knitting, they usually picture an old lady sitting in a rocking chair and making a pair of thick and furry socks! Well, although old ladies do, of course, still knit, this old-fashioned stereotype is gradually being replaced by a new reality: knitting is no longer just a 'housewifey' thing to do. The health benefits of knitting include reducing stress and anxiety Indeed, knitting is fast-shedding its fuddy-duddy image. Over the past few years it's gone from being seen as something traditional to something radical. Now, knitting is no longer associated with domesticity, but rather with a creative activity for men and women of all ages. For example, Facebook is full of knitting groups for guys, such as Men Who Knit. And the list of celebrities who are into knitting includes Russell Crowe, Christina Hendricks, and, more recently, Olympic bronze medallist Tom Daley – you may have spotted him in the crowd recently darning away during a swimming competition. “Knitting is going through a revival, and people of all ages are turning to the craft and falling in love with it – and the benefits it brings to their health.” A quick online search reveals lots of knitting clubs, as well as an endless Instagram feed where people from all over the world show off their skills and new creations. Some designers have started featuring incredibly creative knit garments that show how knitting is a match for unconventional personalities. Diver Tom Daley and one of his creations Instagram/madewithlovebytomdaley Furthermore, knitting has experienced a huge surge in popularity since the start of the pandemic. As millions of us found ourselves stuck at home with nothing to do due to lockdowns, knitting became a great way to learn a new skill and pass the time while doing something both creative and productive. In fact, during the past 18 months knitting stores have experienced a massive increase in sales and a surge in social media followers! Practical advantages of knitting So, before getting into the health benefits of knitting, here are some other reasons why it's such a cool hobby to indulge in: It’s affordable. You can get started with just a few knitting needles, yarn, and a couple of stoppers. If you don’t want to buy them new, charity shops have tons of knitting goodies at low prices. In fact, I was able to get started by spending just £5! I found a few used needles at a second-hand store, and a neighbour gave me her kit, which she didn’t use anymore due to arthritis. You can knit at home – and everywhere else you want. I made myself a pouch for my knitting tools and I make sure to always have it in my bag. That way, I can make progress on whatever I’m working on when I’m waiting at the GP surgery or at any other place where I know I have a long wait ahead of me. You don't need much space. When you start knitting, you’ll need to follow patterns. Unlike sewing patterns, which can be huge and take up a lot of space, knitting patterns can be easily downloaded from websites and they barely cover more than an A4-sized piece of paper. There are plenty of free patterns, too. Knitting is useful. Fancy a pair of fingerless gloves in your favourite colour? You can make them in one day. Want to make someone a handmade gift? Then knit a scarf, a beanie, or a wash cloth. When it comes to the practical side of knitting, nothing beats knowing that you can make your own clothes and accessories. The knitting community is friendly and supportive. Everyone knows what it’s like to be a beginner and the community if full of people offering help and support to newbies. Six key health benefits of knitting The health benefits of knitting are mostly linked to mental health. But since mind and body are closely connected, the health benefits of knitting could also extend to physical well-being. Here are six potential advantages: 1. Reduced stress and anxiety This is one of the greatest health benefits of knitting and the first to be noticed. Once you get 'in the flow' (and you will know when this happens!), knitting grabs all your attention and you become so absorbed in working row after row, that it takes your mind away from other worries. For me, knitting is synonymous with serenity, reducing both my anxiety and stress. 2. Improved cognitive function At first sight, it may seem that knitting is a simple and repetitive activity. But alternating your knit and purl stitches stimulates brain function. Studies carried out in older adults have shown that this type of productive mental engagement can benefit cognitive skills, including memory and reasoning. Linked to this, some research suggests that the cognitive demands of knitting can also reduce the risk of developing Alzheimer’s and dementia, as it keeps the brain cells fired up. More men than ever are discovering the health benefits of knitting shutterstock/Elmur 3. Improved self-confidence Knitting means creating something, and it’s empowering to go from being a consumer to being a producer. This gives knitters a boost of confidence and a feeling of accomplishment when seeing their work progress. Indeed, there’s a feeling of fulfilment involved in being able to wear or use what you made – doing something with your hands has healing power! And while we all know clinical depression requires professional support, studies have shown that knitting has can take negative thoughts off the mind and release serotonin, which helps fight depressive states. 4. A lesson in mindfulness Knitting requires focus and concentration in the present, one stitch at the time. This craft has been called 'the new yoga', since every knitting session is a great opportunity to disconnect from the outside world, slow down, and focus. Does this sound familiar? Yes, it’s similar to mindfulness, and so the health benefits of knitting are linked. “Studies have shown that knitting can take negative thoughts off the mind and release serotonin, which helps fight depressive states.” In fact, some people compare knitting to meditation and have even coined a new term for it: medknitation. Instead of repeating a mantra or focusing on their breathing, some knitters concentrate on the repetitive flow of knitting and are able to achieve a similar meditative state. The teacher of happiness.com's MBSR course, Tine Steiss, is an avid knitter and keen proponent of the hobby due to its many benefits: "Knitting keeps my hands busy and this is beneficial in two situations: I can listen more deeply, be it in a meeting, in a conversation or with an audio book or podcast. I don't then reach for my mobile phone, a snack, or some other form of distraction. RELATED: How to Practise Niksen – the Art of Doing Nothing “But knitting also helps me relax, or in other words, it's an excuse to relax. When my hands are busy, the brain no longer searches for things that need to be done. Unlike mindfulness meditation, where I'm actively exercising the brain in a form of focused stillness, when I'm knitting, the brain is casually chilling on the couch.” Happy knits from designer Lizzie Kaya Instagram/gimme_kaya 5. It boosts dopamine and a feel-good effect Knitting can be frustrating when you’re a beginner. It took me a while to figure out how to undo mistakes, and until that happened, I was annoyed every time I got a stitch wrong. But it’s also incredibly rewarding. Seeing the progress of your work, gaining self-confidence, and being relaxed are all states that trigger dopamine. This substance is known as the feel-good hormone, and it has a beneficial effect on body and mind. The release of dopamine can help regulate mood, sleep, digestion, blood flow, and many other important functions that contribute to the fabulous health benefits of knitting. RELATED: Happiness Hormones – the Neurochemicals of Happiness 6. A sense of control Most of us have felt things getting out of control over the past year or so. Instead of dwelling on the negative state of things, choosing to spend time doing something over which you do have control can help improve your well-being. Start with an easy project so that you can experience that wonderful feeling of being in control of what can be controlled. To sum up, knitting is another coping tool you can add to your arsenal. Emotional well-being is one of the health benefits of knitting that everyone should experience. The takeaway: why knitting benefits your health The therapeutic effects of knitting range from reduced stress to better cognitive functioning, self-confidence, and the ability to focus on the present moment. You can experience the health benefits of knitting whether your knit alone or as part of a group. It doesn’t take much to get started, and once you get hooked, you’ll never look back! ● Main image: shutterstock/Samo Trebizan Are you a keen knitter? What health benefits does it give you? Share your thoughts and designs with the happiness.com community in the comments below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Stress management | Sculpturing | Dementia | Painting Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
  2. Life is seldom smooth-sailing. Sonia Vadlamani shares some helpful, research-backed ways that can make navigating through life obstacles a great deal easier... and even enjoyable! Life is hard sometimes, as we’re all aware. A random analysis of any given week would present the various hassles we often come across: a flat tire, an unexpected expense, a flu that puts a dent in your plans for the week, an incomplete to-do list – you get the picture. As a matter of fact, these challenges seem to multiply as we grow older. We assume we have it all under control, until we’re suddenly mired amidst one too many adversities and unforeseen hardships like major health conditions, loved ones suffering or passing away and the grief that follows, having to end a friendship, relationship breakdowns, to name but a few. I’m no stranger to the realization that life will always remain unpredictable despite all my thorough planning, and there will always be contingencies which I couldn’t have scheduled. For instance, I thought I had mapped out my plans for 2020 to the last detail, when COVID-19 pandemic struck, and changed my perspective about navigating through life events entirely. Not only did I have to cancel all my travel plans, but I lost an ailing grandfather who I nurtured a very affectionate relationship with. To add to my troubles, my gym, favorite hangout spots, friends and all social events we enjoyed became inaccessible due to the pandemic, leaving me feeling confused, restless and helpless. While I did still have plenty to be grateful for, life as I knew it had been altered dramatically, and I seemed to have no clue how to cope with such unprecedented times. However, in hindsight, it seems that like billions of other people throughout the world, I went about navigating through life and overcoming challenges with determination and resilience. Indeed, staying resilient and maintaining a positive disposition during a rough ride can prove to be cumbersome. Nevertheless, navigating through life becomes easier when we accept challenges as a chance to rise above our insecurities and fear of change. Navigating life: 10 helpful tips Sometimes, navigating through life with all its difficulties can seem like a daunting task. You may find yourself stuck with the feeling that you’re never good enough, or that life’s been unfair to you and you were cut a raw deal. Truth is, challenges arise in everyone’s lives, and no one can remain secure in their comfort zone for too long. But it’s entirely up to us as to how we go about to seek a happy, successful life. Here are ten science-backed rules to help us navigate through life’s challenges head-on, so we can lead happier, meaningful lives. 1. Be true to yourself Living in the digital era, it’s easy to get caught in the comparison trap and lose your sense of individuality sometimes. Indeed, authenticity in today’s technology-dominated times may seem like a risky move – especially when social media and other shaping forces in our lives, such as parents, teachers and peers may have told us to ‘fit in’ and conform – in order to feel a connection. As a result, we often hide our true selves due to the fear of rejection and judgment from others. Confronting – not avoiding – challenges is a key way to navigate life However, research suggests that authenticity is an integral part of happiness, and can boost one’s self-esteem, in addition to lowering stress levels. In fact, real, lasting connections are forged when we are true to ourselves. Indeed, cultivating your authentic self can seem challenging at first, but the rewards it enables you to reap – in the form of greater life satisfaction, strengthened interpersonal relationships, and a reinforced sense of purpose – make it all worth pursuing. 2. Confront challenges Life has a way of presenting us consistently with challenges that will assess our emotional mettle, be it in the form of injury, illness, loss, grief or an uncertain future. Accepting this can allow us to be fully present and relish the gifts we have in our lives this very moment, as we live each day with renewed appreciation, joy and lasting confidence in our own capabilities. “The happiest people I know are dedicated to dealing with the most difficult problems,” reveals Rosabeth M Kanter, founding chair of Harvard Advanced Leadership Initiative, and author of Think Outside The Building. In fact, Kanter suggests dividing our challenges into two categories: the ones we’re dealing with immediately, and those which give us a “chance to make a difference”. The latter helps us look at hurdles in a new light, making us better equipped for navigating through life with a sense of purpose. 3. Distinguish thoughts from fact Most of us are guilty of spending too much time ‘in our heads’ or being pre-occupied with our thoughts. According to research, humans are hardwired for negativity, which means that it’s natural for most of us to feel negative outcomes or emotions with a greater intensity than positive feelings. As a result, we end up navigating life with a penchant for overthinking, which can affect our mental health and stress levels adversely according to research. “Overcoming challenges forms an important part of navigating through life, and the ability to view a situation from a different vantage point can allow us to learn a great deal about ourselves.” To make matters worse, we often mistake overthinking for problem-solving. Whereas the truth is that rumination impacts our decision making, thus interfering with our problem-solving abilities. Instead of catastrophizing the challenges, you need to stop ruminating and embrace them as stepping-stones to personal growth. Acknowledging that you are not your thoughts will allow you to take control of your thoughts, and put a stop to the tedious mental chatter. 4. Change your perspective Stephen Joseph, professor of psychology and author of Authentic: How to Be Yourself and Why It Matters, suggests that we change our perspective and consider challenges as “an important part of growing and developing as a person”. Indeed, overcoming challenges forms an important part of navigating through life, and the ability to view a situation from a different vantage point can allow us to learn a great deal about ourselves. Instead of living in denial in your comfort zone, we can gradually tune our minds to look at adversities as learning opportunities and face them head-on when they present themselves. Stepping back to get a better perspective, taking some time to clear your mind, and approaching the situation without rushing will enable you to gain newer insights. 5. Maintain a sense of humour Life can be a bumpy ride sometimes, and stress seems unavoidable given the daily hassles we experience, such as waiting times, unpleasant interactions with co-workers, deadlines, and failed plans. However, there is no need for a serious and skeptic demeanor all the times, and a little bit of humour and playfulness can go a long way to strengthen relationships and boost happiness levels. Infusing some humour in your daily life is a great way to prime your mind for optimism and navigate life with a positive attitude. 6. Be kind to yourself We often tend to beat ourselves up when things don’t go the way we planned. However, this cycle of self-criticism and ignoring the pain we feel seldom makes us feel any better. Compare this with how you’d treat a friend with love, kindness and encouragement when they face failure. Researcher Kristin Neff suggests that channeling self-compassion during tough times is crucial for overcoming challenges with an improved sense of connectedness and emotional balance. Indeed, being kind to yourself and treating yourself with love and compassion can make navigating through life an easier, happier feat. 7. Persistence is key While everyone adapts differently to a challenge or an adverse situation, one rule that holds true for everyone is that it’s never too late to get back on track to achieve your goals. Avoid the temptation to give up – researchers suggest that deserting your purpose or circumventing your goals can be emotionally painful, possibly resulting in grief-related distress or even depression. Cultivating persistence pays off without fail, as long as you set realistic goals and continue to put efforts in the right direction. Stay persistent and focused on achieving your dreams 8. Remember happiness is a journey, not a destination You may have noticed how accomplishing goals makes us happy but only for a limited time, as we then move on to the pursuit of happiness in the form of the next milestone. Psychologists refer to this tendency as the ‘happiness trap’, wherein one maintains an unrealistic purview of happiness, in addition to constantly comparing their happiness levels with that of others. “Being kind to yourself and treating yourself with love and compassion can make navigating through life an easier, happier feat.” However, researchers and philosophers stress the importance of viewing happiness as a journey not a destination that needs to be chased relentlessly. Indeed, it’s important to take the time to pause and smell some roses along the way. Navigating through life gets easier when we view happiness as a choice we can make consciously, and cultivating happy habits that can raise our well-being levels in a consistent manner. 9. Remain thoughtful, kind and gracious Difficult times warrant the need for human kindness more than ever, and it helps to treat others the same way we want to be treated. Expressing thankfulness, apologizing genuinely, complimenting others without an agenda, and offering support and encouragement in times of need helps strengthen our connection with others. Developing a reputation for being grateful, compassionate and kind can help you build lasting relationships that you can depend on whilst navigating life’s difficulties. 10. Devise and uphold your personal boundaries Personal boundaries are a measure of your self-esteem and help ensure that you aren’t vulnerable to being used or mistreated by others around you. Devising and establishing clear, strong boundaries in place helps foster trust and loyalty, thereby strengthening relationships. Healthy boundaries are not just about being able to express your views and needs assertively but are also helpful for navigating through life in a more efficient manner. Takeaway: navigating life As we all know from experience, life has its ups and downs. Most of also realize that we seek happiness, meaningful connections and fulfillment of our purpose as we navigate through it. Practising mindfulness, being accountable for your words and actions, developing an attitude of gratitude, and being present instead of worrying about the future can make navigating life easier – and more importantly – enjoyable. • Main image: shutterstock/fizkes happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Compassion | Friendship Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.
  3. The global pandemic, political turmoil, and now the ongoing cost-of-living crisis has left many of us feeling increasingly stressed, anxious and upset. With that in mind, Dee Marques shares 11 practical tips to feel stress-free quickly – all backed by science. Stress is one of the biggest health challenges we face today. While a small amount of positive stress can be good for us, ongoing chronic stress can lead to or exacerbate many serious health problems. And with Coronavirus still testing the health and well-being of the globe, it's become increasingly difficult to remain free from stress, with many of us noticing our anxiety levels are on the rise. Indeed, in the US, more than 55 per cent of people claim to feel stressed during the day, a figure that’s well above the global average (35 per cent). Meanwhile, in the UK, nearly 75 per cent of adults say they have felt overwhelmed by stress at some point over the past year. In fact, stress isn't “just stress”, since it affects both our mental and physical health. Studies show a close link between stress and mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. Other side effects of unmanaged stress include anger, low self-esteem, loneliness and poor memory. As for its potential impact on the body, stress can cause anything from headaches to digestive disorders, insomnia, skin and hair problems, and increased chances of developing heart conditions. 11 ways to feel stress-free fast Since stress is so widespread, you may wonder if it really is possible to become free from stress. While that may seem hard to achieve, there are definitely things you can do to reduce your stress and anxiety levels that do not require a great deal of time or money. Here are 11 ideas you can try to reduce stress and start to feel calm quickly. 1. The power of houseplants One of the simpler (and more enjoyable) steps you can take is creating a stress-free environment. We can’t always do that at large scale, but there are little things you can do in you home and personal working space. Indoor plants, as humble as they may seem, have become increasingly popular recently and for good reason – they can boost enormously your ability to cope with stress. In fact, a Japanese study compared the feelings produced by transplanting a plant vs working on a computer. The result showed that while the group who worked on a computer had higher blood pressure, those who interacted with plants felt calm and soothed. Indeed, adding indoor plants to your home environment can make a world of a difference and help you to become stress-free. Plants may reduce blood pressure and stress levels shutterstock/Amilao 2. Breathing techniques Our bodies react to stress by going into overdrive. Studies confirm a link between slow controlled breathing and the nervous system: taking deep breaths reminds the brain that it’s time to calm down, and then the brain sends the same message to the body to stabilize the heart rate and release tension in the muscles. If you’re not familiar with the benefits of controlled breathing, it’s time to explore some techniques that can help you control anxiety and help you feel stress-free. Check out the final tip in our article on mindful behavior for a great breathing technique that will relax you within seconds and feel your melt away. 3. Physical activity Exercise causes a spike in endorphins, one of the happiness hormones. To achieve a stress-free state, the key is to engage in physical activity regularly. The type and frequency of exercise depends on your preference and overall health status, but as a guideline, a Finnish medical study found that moderate aerobic exercise was best for higher endorphin levels. “Adding indoor plants to your home environment can make a world of a difference and help you to become stress-free.” Some types of moderate exercise that can bring relief include cycling, brisk walking, dancing and water aerobics. The impact of COVID-19 means we can't do all of these right now, but still try and do some form of exercise in your home or garden to keep your spirits up and mental health in check. RELATED: Mindful running – 6 tips to get you started 4. Body relaxation To become stress-free fast, add a mix of mood-boosting exercise with calming relaxation techniques. Relaxation methods like tai chi, meditation, yoga, or mindfulness have been practised for centuries. Consciously relaxing your body, or even parts of it, can slow down your heart rate, lower stress hormone levels, and boost confidence in your ability to cope with problems. Some techniques you want to try include progressive muscle relaxation, massage therapy, qi gong, and ashtanga yoga. 5. Experiment with essential oils Aromatherapy has been around for thousands of years. Even in Ancient Egypt people were aware of the power of aromatic herbs and their role in well-being. The organs responsible for our sense of smell are directly connected to the parts of the brain linked to emotions, so exposure to certain scents can have a positive effect on mood and help reduce anxiety. Lavender essential oil has been widely studied for its ability to induce calm, and it seems effective in the short-term treatment of anxiety and restlessness. Other essential oils to help you become free from stress include jasmine, bergamot, holy basil, rose, frankincense, vetiver and lemon balm. Aromatherapy: sniff to reduce stress shutterstock/Madeleine Steinbach 6. Create a stress-free playlist We’re only beginning to understand the power of music and how it brings stress relief. If, as 17th century playwright William Congreve said, “music has charms to soothe a savage beast”, surely it can help us reach a stress-free state too? One study compared stress levels in surgical patients who listened to music before an operation and those who didn’t, and found that those who listened to music had lower blood pressure and were said to feel less anxious. Some sounds and rhythms can be more effective than others. 7. Do nothing Feeling overwhelmed by tasks or responsibilities is one of the most common causes of stress. Sometimes, the best response is to put everything on hold and do nothing but take care of yourself: something many of us had to do during the COVID-19 pandemic. However, if doing nothing is still not an option, consider doing less or doing things at a slower pace, or doing them mindfully. Mindfulness gives you a chance to slow down, focus, and become more aware of your reactions. It has also been connected to lower activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain that triggers fear and stress responses. 8. Visualization techniques Visualization techniques can have a calming effect when stress becomes too much to handle. Immerse yourself in a scene that makes you happy and relaxed, and recreate every sensory aspect of the scene, from the smells to the sights or the sounds. By focusing on the sensory experience as a whole, you direct your attention away from sources of stress. Once that happens, your brain will also signal your body to relax. “Exercise causes a spike in endorphins, one of the happiness hormones. To achieve a stress-free state, the key is to engage in physical activity regularly.” Researchers have found that visualization (also called guided imagery) can boost mood and improve depressive symptoms in multiple sclerosis patients, so it surely can have a beneficial effect on stress too. RELATED: Visualization meditation – how to practise it 9. Share your feelings A burden shared is a burden halved, so don’t hesitate to talk someone close to you if worry begins to take over. Sharing your worries can bring a sense of relief, and scientific evidence supports this. A 2013 study found that disclosing feelings of worry and anxiety to someone sympathetic reduced levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. Sometimes you may even prefer to talk to a stranger. Talking therapy is effective in stress relief, whether it’s in person or over the phone. Talking is a therapy to become stress-free shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 10. B vitamins for stress support Did you know that certain vitamin deficiencies can lead to increased feelings of stress? A stress-free diet should be especially rich in B-complex vitamins. Some researchers suggest that these vitamins can lower homocysteine, an amino acid that spikes in stressful situations. So, it’s a good idea to revamp your meal plan to ensure it includes good amounts of vitamin B-rich foods, such as whole grains, legumes, dark leafy vegetables, seeds and nuts. Making this a habit can help lift your mood and reduce the mental fatigue brought about by stress. RELATED: The gut-brain axis 11. Honour your true self Sometimes, stress is a result of internal conflict. There are situations where we must choose between doing what we know in our hearts to be right, and pleasing others or dishonoring our core values. We all have certain values that guide our lives, so take some time to remind yourself of which are the most important to you. One of the steps towards being stress-free is resolving any tension or discrepancies between who you are and who you want to be. This is your opportunity to do just that and feel better. The takeaway: stress-free living During these tough times, try not to let stress and rising anxiety levels get in the way of your happiness. While we all experience stressful situations, there’s no reason to be overwhelmed by them, since we have multiple tools to strengthen our inner-self and become stress-free quickly. So, the next time you feel your anxiety levels rising, give some of our suggestions a try. ● Main image: shutterstock/baranq happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Stress management | Letting go | Motivation Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
  4. Mental health is equally as important as physical health, and the stigma around depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses is finally being addressed. Dee Marques answers the question 'why is mental health important?' and has some tips on how to strengthen your mind. Mental health is a growing concern in our society, and for good reason. According to the Mental Health Foundation, more than 15 per cent of all adults will experience a mental health problem in any given week, and the figures increase to almost 25 per cent among young people. All over the world, mental health issues account for a significant percentage of the overall disease burden, and the figures seem to be on the rise. Thankfully, mental health is seen as increasingly important and in recent years is becoming destigmatized as people discuss it openly more and more. The truth is that mental health problems can affect everyone, irrespective of their age, social class, and financial situation. Being 'successful' in life does not make you immune to suffering mental health issues. While it’s easy to link success with happiness, and happiness with sound mental health, this isn’t always as straightforward as it seems. Sadly, we’re all familiar with recent high-profile suicides involving celebrities like Robin Williams or designers like Kate Spade and Alexander McQueen. They were all successful, wealthy, and accomplished, which teaches us a lesson on why mental health is important: mental illness can affect everyone, just like physical illness. RELATED: Dealing with suicide, bereavement and loss On this note, there’s a tendency to give more importance to physical health than to mental health. This bias towards the physical may be due to the fact that physical disease is more obvious, easier to spot. The medical field is concerned with problems that can be objectively measured (such as weight, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, etc.), but mental illness and its symptoms aren’t as visible as their physical counterparts. If anything, this makes it ever more important to be familiar with mental health warning signs and risk factors. Mental health issues can affect everyone In any case, the importance of mental health cannot and should not be underestimated. Keep reading to find out why. Why is mental health important? Research shows that an unhealthy mind will sooner or later manifest itself into an unhealthy body. An Oxford University study revealed that some disorders can reduce life expectancy by up to 20 years – that’s more than heavy smoking. Others have found that people suffering from mental illness are at a higher risk of heart problems and of early death due to heart disease. The list goes on, linking poor mental health to diabetes, osteoporosis, autoimmune skin conditions, obesity, etc. Moreover, some sources describe mental health as social, psychological, and emotional well-being. When this is absent, we become less functional in our daily routine: studies show that mental illness can make us unable to hold down a job or even to get a job in the first place. “Why is mental health important? Research shows that an unhealthy mind will sooner or later manifest itself into an unhealthy body.” Other studies show that mental disorders put an enormous strain on personal relationships, weakening family and friendship bonds, which in turn can make people feel isolated and worsen their symptoms. To sum it up, the importance of mental health lies in its connection to physical health and the essential role it plays if we want to enjoy quality of life and happiness. Common mental health problems The most common mental health problems both in the UK and the US are anxiety and depression, which affect between 10 and 18 per cent of the population respectively. The figures are similar at global level, as it’s estimated the depression affects a staggering 300 million people worldwide. Anxiety and depression are important mental health conditions Also ranking high are bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and phobias or psychoses. It’s clear that mental health problems are widespread, and in fact, the figures could be higher, as in many cases mental health issues go unreported or undiagnosed. Factors that can affect mental health There’s no single cause of mental health issues, since different factors affect people differently, but overall we can classify risk factors into three types: Genetic/physical factors Some people are born with gene abnormalities or chemical imbalances that affect the brain function. Exposure to toxic substances or even bacterial infections are other risk factors. Environmental factors Environmental factors such as poverty or significant financial difficulties, growing up in a dysfunctional family, traumatic childhood experiences, marriage breakdown, and the loss of a loved one. Belonging to vulnerable groups Vulnerable groups such as women, ethnic minorities, homeless individuals, those struggling with addictions or substance misuse, and people with existing health problems. The variety of factors teaches us something about why mental health is important: there are so many factors involved, that no one is really immune to the risks. Mental health: important symptoms It’s important to be familiar with the warning signs of mental health issues, so you can address them in their early stages. Here are a list of some of the most noticeable mental health symptoms: Changes to sleeping and eating habits. Social withdrawal. Mood swings that affect your ability to carry on with daily tasks or your relationships with others. Increased consumption of addictive substances (tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc.). Inability to concentrate or to get rid of negative thoughts. Apathy. Loss of sex drive. Prolonged sadness or excessive worrying. Feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, and/or useless. Thoughts of self harm. Tips to strengthen your mental health Mental health is made up of different building blocks that work together, so it’s important to target as many bases as possible. Some practical ways to maintain positive mental health include: 1. Audit your own views on mental health Suffering a mental health condition doesn’t mean you’re flawed or weak and is not a reflection of your personality. You should understand that it can happen to anyone, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. 2. Build a support network with people Build a support network with people you feel comfortable discussing your feelings with and who share your views about why mental health is important. Struggling with mental health? A support network is important 3.Schedule 'me time' Take breaks and use that time productively to do things that you enjoy and that foster your creativity and sense of worth. 4. Adopt healthy daily habits From getting enough sleep to eating well. Being well rested and getting enough nutrients has a direct effect on how your brain works. Track what you eat/drink and your mood to see if you can spot any patterns. “The importance of mental health lies in its connection to physical health and the essential role it plays in quality of life and happiness.” 5. Develop coping skills Skills such as being able to identify negative thoughts so they don’t snowball into mood- and health-affecting disorders. Focus on how to become stronger and more resilient to stress, life changes, other people’s comments. On that note, mindfulness and gratitude are the crucial building blocks of resilience. 6. Keep active Exercise can boost your self-esteem and have a positive effect on your physical and mental health. Choose something that’s motivating enough so you can stick to it. 7. Get professional help if you need it. Don’t let the stigma attached to mental health issues stop you from getting stronger. Fortunately, nowadays mental health issues are being openly discussed and the importance of mental health is being recognised as a top priority. There’s professional help out there, and you’re not weaker or worthless for needing it and reaching out – if anything, you’re smarter for recognising your needs and taking action. Conclusion: why is mental health important? Being aware of the importance of mental health is one of the best ways to protect and nurture your self. This is a challenging but rewarding journey, which you can start today by using the tips we described above to strengthen your mind and live a happier life. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Trust | Sound baths | Pets | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
  5. Finding it difficult to seek happiness from anything you do? Sonia Vadlamani explores the reasons why a loss of pleasure and motivation could signify an underlying mental health concern. Plus, she suggests seven ways to start rebuilding your happiness. Several of us find ourselves feeling down at some point in our lives, which could translate to feeling unmotivated, sad, stuck in life or at work, or just bored. However, if you keep thinking 'nothing makes me happy anymore' or 'what’s the point of life', as well as being unable to take delight in anything in your life, it could be that you are actually in a state of deep depression (perhaps without even realizing it). Anhedonia, or the inability to derive joy or happiness from anything around us, is a common indication of an underlying mental health issue such as depression, post traumatic stress disorder, or anxiety. While this feeling mimics boredom, it is also coupled with lack of motivation on one’s behalf to try anything, as nothing seems to matter to anymore, and there is no reward or pleasure to be derived from the action. In fact, it’s estimated that for those living with anhedonia, the regions in the brain that are usually associated with reward anticipation or interest are inflamed. This inflammation causes a dopamine imbalance in the brain, which makes one indifferent to the outcome of any event or situation. Why nothing makes you happy anymore It’s important to know that anhedonia – or the distinct sensation that nothing makes you happy – could also be a symptom of a situational depressive episode and need not be characterized as clinical depression. “It's something a lot of people experience, at least at one point in their lives,” states Dr Miranda Nadeau, a licensed psychologist based in Austin, Texas. RELATED: Feeling blue or clinically depressed? The 4 things you should look out for Anhedonia can be defeated with consistent effort, but first you may need to pinpoint the underlying causes, so that they can be remedied. There are several plausible reasons why you may not find anything interesting or enjoyable anymore: Feeling burned out and exhausted Feeling easily irritable, being sleep-deprived for a long duration and constant lethargy are some of the symptoms associated with burnout. The most usual form of this healthcare issue is seen in the form of workplace burnout, wherein people work through prolonged hours under immense stress, or carry out a wide range of responsibilities without sufficient breaks or rest. Loneliness While loneliness usually occurs in people who live alone or are isolated from others for extended period, a person can feel lonely even when they’re in a crowd. Loneliness as an emotional state takes root when we’re unable to form true connections with others around us. A constant sense of nothing making you happy within can signal loneliness, and the tendency to shut ourselves to the outside world might spiral us deeper into a depressive state, thus making it a vicious cycle. Loneliness and isolation can put us in a depressive state Boredom We often feel bored and uninspired because we’re wired to adapt to our circumstances – positive or negative – and after we get used to something, we tend to become indifferent to it and fail to derive any further 'happiness boost' from it. While this hedonic treadmill is a common phenomenon for most of us, sometimes this prolonged apathy or boredom towards life events can spiral towards substance abuse, addiction to unhelpful routines, self-harming behavior and even depression. • JOIN US! Sign-up to happiness.com and connect with our caring community • Depression If you’re feeling blue often and each new day begins with a sense of apprehension, or if activities that used to spark joy fail to evoke any emotion in you, this could indicate the start of a depressive episode. Depression is a complex condition, with both mental and physical symptoms. However, the good news is that once diagnosed, depression can be treated, making it possible for one to eventually lead a happy, fulfilling life. How to rebuild happiness: 7 steps While the inability to derive joy from anything is a reason for concern and should be addressed, it’s important to realize that others have been in the same shoes before you and have found their way to happiness once again. So, if you constantly think to yourself 'nothing makes me happy anymore', here are some ideas to help you gradually change this state of mind and feel happier. 1. Get sufficient rest Research reveals a strong link between troubled sleeping and depression, with sleeping disorders present in nearly 75 per cent of adults diagnosed with depression. Sleep disturbances can raise stress levels and anxiety, impacting one’s overall quality of life. “If you keep thinking to yourself 'nothing makes me happy anymore' or 'what’s the point of life', it could be that you are actually in a deep depression.” Indeed, following good sleep hygiene is essential for ensuring good overall health. Some effective sleep hacks include limiting your overall screen-time and consciously shutting all screens at least an hour before bed. Getting good-quality sleep on a regular basis is one of the surest ways to feel better again, according to research. 2. Consult a physician A persistent feeling that nothing makes you happy could also arise from an underlying medical condition or a sudden shift in your usual lifestyle. For example, those who spend more time indoors are likely to be deficient in vitamin D, which is associated with poor mood, depression and other mental disorders. Eating disorders and health conditions like hypoactive thyroid or iron deficiency can result in depressive symptoms and heightened anxiety as well. Talking to your doctor and getting the bloodwork and appropriate tests done can help eliminate these potential underlying conditions that could cause unhappiness. 3. Take care of your body Our food choices affect our mood and health, as revealed from the discovery of the gut-brain axis. Include lots of good mood foods like green vegetables, seeds and nuts, lean meats and prebiotics to improve your mental health and boost your happiness levels. Dehydration is also responsible for blocking the production of serotonin, potentially impairing our ability to think clearly and make us feel tired all the time, and hence it’s important to stay hydrated through the day. Furthermore, engaging in physical activity will also help combat that 'nothing makes me happy' feeling by releasing endorphins, a type of 'happiness hormone' which can boost our stress management abilities. Exercise releases happiness-boosting endorphins shutterstock/Rido In fact, regular exercise can change our brain, in addition to improving heart health and preventing diseases like diabetes. If you can’t access the gym, try mindful running or restorative yoga to introduce the element of mindfulness and relaxation to your daily exercise routine. Starting slow, setting small and realistic goals and being consistent can create noticeable improvements in the way you feel. 4. Re-configure what happiness means to you At this point, you may be ready to take a deeper glance into what elicits happiness for you and adding activities which may uplift your mood. When I find myself feeling unhappy, I look around for clues as to what makes me happy in the first place, and whether I’ve been doing enough lately to achieve or reinstate that feeling. If there are obstacles that prevent you from picking up activities you once used to enjoy, try inculcating new activities that may interest you and help you feel less bored with life. While traveling to explore various cuisines and fitness pursuits are activities that generally keep me upbeat, I found it was connecting with nature in the form of gardening – even in a limited apartment space – that helped keep my spirits up through the stress and anguish I experienced around the COVID-19 pandemic. Look for ways to incorporate awe in your life. Including 'expressive therapy', or creative expression in the form of making art, music, dance, writing or creative dialog can improve our ability to cope with emotional issues, while helping us form meaningful relationships with others with similar interests. 5. Meditate regularly A daily meditation routine and focusing on your breathwork can help to boost happiness levels, albeit over time and with steady practice. There are several types of meditation you could choose from, depending on the skills you wish to learn from meditation and convenience. For example, gratitude meditation could help you bring attention to the good things in your life, enabling you to release negativity. Deep sleep meditation can improve your sleep quality and help you feel well-rested, rejuvenated, and ready to brave the next day with improved energy levels. 6. Reach out and connect “Oftentimes people experience anhedonia and other symptoms of depression when they feel their social connections are weak,” states Dr Nadeau. Research suggests that forming meaningful social connections can help you find your way back to happiness. Utilizing the power of friendships and positive communication is important for our overall life-satisfaction and well-being. “Research suggests that forming meaningful social connections can help you find your way back to happiness.” While intimate connections and close ties are important, even weak ties can impact us positively by providing stimulation and a fresh perspective, as researcher Karen Fingerman points out. Connecting with random strangers during the pandemic can help you and others feel less lonely and isolated, making the world around feel like a better place. 7. Talk to a mental health professional If none of these ideas are making you feel better and happier, it’s okay to seek professional help when you’re feeling defeated by life. Reaching out and talking to a specialist can help you take stock of your situation and pinpoint the inherent concerns that require addressing or cognitive reframing. Be it dealing with rejection or hurt, working on self-acceptance, or the need to devise work life balance, a therapist can help you process and resolve the underlying issues when you’ve had that 'nothing makes me happy' feeling for a prolonged period. Takeaway: nothing makes me happy Most of us tend to lose interest in things we used to enjoy at some point in our lives. However, anhedonia takes this inability to enjoy to its furthest limits, wherein one can’t seem to take delight in anything that once used to spark joy within them, such as food, conversations, music, travel, etc. If you find that nothing make you happy anymore, start by identifying and addressing the plausible underlying causes. Focus on getting your physical and mental health back on track and indulging in activities that you previously enjoyed or rejuvenate you now. Try to incorporate one or more happy habits into your routine to gradually combat your 'nothing makes me happy anymore' feeling. However, seeking professional help is essential if you’re struggling to reconnect with happiness on your own. • Main image: shutterstock/fizkes If you're experiencing any of the signs of depression make sure to reach out to your local mental health services. In the US, you can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for free and confidential support. Use Lifeline Chat or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). In the UK, call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected] for a reply within 24 hours. You can also text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text “YM” if you are under 19. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Kindness | Motivation | Learning | Altruism Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.
  6. In navigating my journey through depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges, I've found solace in embracing non-pharmacological and non-opioid pain management techniques. These methods, distinct from medication, have provided me a holistic approach to healing. Through mindfulness, exercise, therapy, and creative outlets, I've discovered powerful tools that empower me to overcome hurdles while prioritizing my mental well-being.
  7. If you struggle to give your full attention to others when in conversation, mindful listening can help you improve your conversation skills. Dee Marques explains six ways to develop the practice and the benefits so-called 'deep' or 'active' listening can bring. Have you ever been chatting with a friend and realised they were not really not giving you their full attention? Perhaps their eyes were darting off away from yours, or they were fiddling with their mobile phone whilst pretending to listen? Likewise, maybe you’ve been in conversation with someone, nodding and smiling, but in your head you were actually planning what you were going to make for dinner that night? If these scenarios sound familiar, then you could definitely benefit from practising what's known as mindful listening or deep listening. You see, there are so many distractions in everyday life that many of us feel that it’s increasingly hard to pay attention to what others are saying. Indeed, researchers have found that the human attention span is actually decreasing, and many people find it hard to concentrate on a conversation without their minds wandering to other matters. So, if you’re struggling with this, it may be time to consider what can be done to sharpen your mindful listening skills. So, what is mindful listening? Mindful or 'deep' listening is a way of applying the principles of mindfulness to personal interactions. These principles include: Focusing all our attention in the present and finding purpose in it. Being fully in the present, with all our senses engaged in the experience we’re living. Suspending judgement on the things we come across, as a judgmental attitude is a major distraction and an obstacle to being able to pay attention. One of the ultimate goals of mindful listening is training our brain to mute thoughts that compete for our attention while we’re in conversation. This is so we can truly hear the message behind someone's words. Having a better awareness of the present and a non-judgmental attitude can help us become better listeners. Indeed, this is the essence of mindful listening. Give your full attention to listening mindfully shutterstock/fizkes How to practise mindful listening: 6 tips To develop the skill of mindful listening, most of us will need to train our brains to focus on what the person in front of us is saying. Here are six steps to help you on your way and improve your communication skills. 1. Start with the right intention The first step on the path to developing your mindful listening skills is to become more aware of the patterns that make our minds wander. Don’t expect to become a pro at mindful listening right from the start. When in conversation, remind yourself of your intention to give the other person your undivided attention, or pick a few conversations every day where you can commit to doing that. 2. Remove distractions We’re all different, so there will be other things that cause distractions for you, but common causes are mobile phones and notifications, being hungry or feeling tired. Start by putting your mobile phone away and ignoring it – don't be tempted to get it out and start scrolling. Only answer a call if it is truly essential. RELATED: Mindful behaviour – 13 practical mindfulness tools However, if you really can’t ignore the things that distract you, it’s better to reschedule the conversation and explain that you’d rather meet when you can give the other person your full, undivided attention. 3. Listen with purpose Many of us are used to getting into conversations without thinking about the real purpose of them. We also tend to hurry the other person to come up with a reply when we're chatting with them rather than allowing space to consider a response. However, taking the time to reflect and consider what we’re going to say is one of the main components of mindful listening. “Having a better awareness of the present and a judgmental attitude can help us become better listeners. That is the essence of mindful listening.” So, why not try listening for the sake of listening? Once you start to practise mindful listening, you may find that you have nothing to say in response to someone right away. Or maybe the only thing you can do is acknowledge what you’ve heard and empathize with the other person. Don’t stress about not responding to a friend and remember that the purpose is to listen and be in the present. 4. Don’t cut in If you find yourself interjecting with your own opinion, apologize and allow the person to return to what they were saying. Try to be more conscious about not interrupting people. Likewise, providing space for the speaker to pause mid-conversation is also important: they may simply be collecting their thoughts together before making another point. Don’t jump in mid-flow. Mindful listening means making sure the person you are chatting with has the chance to express themselves fully. 5. Show that you're listening Mindful listening is not only about using your ears. Indeed, use your eyes and other body language to show whoever you're talking with that you are really paying attention. So, maintain eye contact at all times and nod and smile, encouraging them to express themselves fully. Showing that you are listening mindfully in this way demonstrates that you are emotionally involved in the communication. Eye contact and smiling is a sign of mindful listening shutterstock/Aleksandra Suzi 6. Don’t make assumptions Assumptions are a major interference with our ability to communicate and understand other people. Because our mind often wanders off while the other person is still talking, we may not get the full picture (or the full meaning), which can lead to miscommunication and incorrect assumptions. Make a conscious effort to listen until someone has finished talking. Then, double check you’ve understood correctly, or repeat their message back in your own words. Mindful listening: the benefits Mindful listening has great personal and interpersonal benefits. By making a genuine effort to listen without judging, we can learn more about ourselves and become aware of our prejudices or areas where we could improve the quality of our communication. Over time and with practise, this kind of self-awareness will make us better listeners and better communicators. Because of the effort required to re-train our brain to listen mindfully, you may notice that you’re also able to concentrate better in other aspects of your everyday life. For example, you may become more productive at work or get more benefits from your meditation practice. “Mindful listening is not only about using your ears. Use your eyes and other body language to show whoever that you are really paying attention.” As for the interpersonal benefits, clearly one of the greatest advantages of mindful listening is being able to nurture better relationships with others and to make every interaction richer. And because mindful listening is a rare quality, people will notice and appreciate it, and may be more inclined to share things with you or to seek your company. Listening mindfully can help us create more genuine connections as we enter every conversation with the purpose to listen and understand the other person. The takeaway: mindful listening Mindful listening is an exercise in empathy and self-awareness that can improve the quality and depth of our relationships with others. Practising it will take re-training our brain to focus in the present and in the meaning of what’s being said. And although it may be difficult at first, the results are well worth it. Mindful listening can make us more self-aware, more focused, and able to build richer interpersonal relationships and a more fulfilling life. ● Main image: shutterstock/Shchus happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Friendship | Kindness | Compassion Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
  8. Supporting someone with anxiety requires understanding, empathy, and patience. Here are some steps you can take to provide effective assistance: Educate Yourself: Learn about anxiety disorders, their symptoms, and common triggers. Understanding what your friend or loved one is experiencing can help you provide more informed and compassionate support. Listen Actively: Encourage open communication. Let the person share their feelings and thoughts without judgment. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to can be incredibly helpful. Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their anxiety as real and valid. Avoid downplaying or dismissing their emotions. Let them know you are there to support them. Be Patient: Anxiety can be overwhelming, and recovery takes time. Be patient with their progress and setbacks. Offer Practical Help: Assist with tasks that might be difficult for them, such as running errands or attending social events. This can help alleviate some of the stress and pressure they might feel. Encourage Professional Help: Suggest seeking therapy or counseling. A mental health professional can provide appropriate strategies and tools to manage anxiety effectively. Respect Their Boundaries: While your support is crucial, it's important to respect their need for space and time alone when necessary. Practice Relaxation Techniques Together: Encourage relaxation techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, or yoga. You can even do these activities together to make it more enjoyable. Engage in Positive Activities: Encourage participation in activities they enjoy and that promote well-being. Engaging in hobbies and interests can help distract from anxious thoughts. Avoid Enabling: While it's important to be supportive, avoid helping them avoid situations that trigger anxiety. Encouraging gradual exposure to these situations can promote long-term coping skills. Be Mindful of Language: Use language that is positive and supportive. Avoid telling them to "calm down" or implying that they should just "get over it." Stay Connected: Keep in touch regularly, even if it's just to check in. Knowing that someone cares can make a significant difference. Model Healthy Coping: Demonstrate healthy coping strategies in your own life. Your behavior can serve as a positive example. Avoid Alcohol and Drugs: Encourage them to avoid using alcohol or drugs to cope with anxiety, as these can exacerbate the problem. Emergency Plan: If their anxiety becomes overwhelming or they're in crisis, know the signs of a severe anxiety attack and have a plan for seeking immediate professional help. Remember that you are there to support and encourage, but you are not a substitute for professional help. If their anxiety is severely impacting their life, encourage them to seek assistance from a mental health professional. Your role is to be a caring and understanding friend or loved one during their journey towards managing anxiety.
  9. Char, I think your project of starting a mental health wellbeing garden is a wonderful idea. Gardening can have many benefits for people who are struggling with mental health issues, loneliness, or isolation. Here are some thoughts and scriptures that relate and offer support and encouragement to your project: Gardening can help people practice acceptance, gratitude, mindfulness, and hope. It can also reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and anger. It can improve mood, self-esteem, creativity, and cognitive function. It can foster a sense of connection to nature, to others, and to God. Gardening can be a way of expressing God’s love and care for His creation. It can also be a way of receiving God’s love and care for ourselves. God is the ultimate gardener, who planted the first garden in Eden and who makes everything grow according to His plan. Some scriptures that can inspire and motivate you and the people who will join your garden are: Psalm 1:3: “He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.” Isaiah 58:11: “And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.” John 15:1-5: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” 1 Corinthians 3:6-9: “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God’s fellow workers. You are God’s field, God’s building.” Galatians 6:9: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” I hope these thoughts and scriptures will help you get your project underway. I wish you all the best in your endeavor. May God bless you and your garden abundantly. 😊 Sincerely In Christ, Katherine Stephenson
  10. Hey everybody! I wanted to share a cool online cohort-based meditation series exploring the themes of relationships, livelihood and money in the context of mindfulness and Buddhism. It is an 8-week series starting next Sunday! There are some really amazing meditation teachers involved such as Chan Master Guo Gu. Let me know what you think! Dharma-Gates.org/building-a-beautiful-life It's offered on a donation-basis, and is designed for young people ages 18-35.
  11. Here are some steps you can take: Recognize your feelings: Acknowledge and accept that you are experiencing depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges. It's important to understand that these feelings are valid and that seeking help is a sign of strength. Reach out for support: Share your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust, such as a close friend, family member, or a mental health professional. Opening up to others can provide emotional support and help you feel less alone. Seek professional help: Consult with a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor. They can provide a safe space for you to explore your emotions, offer guidance, and develop coping strategies tailored to your specific needs. Develop self-care routines: Engage in activities that promote your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This may include regular exercise, eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, practicing mindfulness or meditation, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Establish a support network: Surround yourself with positive and understanding individuals who can provide support and encouragement. Consider joining support groups or online communities where you can connect with people who share similar experiences. Educate yourself: Learn more about your condition, including its causes, symptoms, and available treatment options. Understanding what you're going through can empower you to make informed decisions about your mental health and treatment. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and avoid self-judgment. Understand that healing takes time, and setbacks are a normal part of the process. Treat yourself with patience, understanding, and self-care. Develop coping mechanisms: Discover healthy ways to cope with stress and manage your emotions. This might include deep breathing exercises, journaling, practicing relaxation techniques, or engaging in creative outlets like art or music. Consider medication if needed: In some cases, medication may be prescribed by a psychiatrist to help manage symptoms. If you and your healthcare provider determine that medication is necessary, ensure that you follow their guidance and monitor any potential side effects. Stay connected: Maintain meaningful relationships with friends and loved ones. Social support plays a crucial role in mental health, so try to engage in activities that foster connection and build relationships. Remember, it's essential to consult with a qualified mental health professional to receive personalized advice and guidance for your specific situation. They can help you develop a treatment plan that aligns with your needs and goals.
  12. Hii guys, I have made a meditation and mindfullness video on Youtube could you guys give a watch please and give me any suggestions or recommendations on the topic. Thank you, I hope you have a wonderful day. https://youtu.be/rpB9serHME8
  13. Hi, I'm Sarah Thompson, a dedicated advocate of meditation and mindfulness. With years of personal practice, I've experienced the transformative power of meditation in enhancing well-being and finding inner peace. I would love to connect with others who share the same interest and journey towards inner peace. Feel free to reach out and let's embark on this path together.
  14. In walking meditation, readings can be a helpful tool to enhance your mindfulness practice and provide inspiration. Here are a few examples of readings that you can consider incorporating into your walking meditation: Excerpts from spiritual texts: Many spiritual traditions offer beautiful and contemplative writings that can deepen your connection with the present moment. Consider selecting passages from texts such as the Bhagavad Gita, Tao Te Ching, Dhammapada, or works by mystics like Rumi or Thich Nhat Hanh. Nature poetry: Poetry that captures the beauty and essence of nature can be particularly fitting for walking meditation. Explore the works of poets like Mary Oliver, Walt Whitman, or Matsuo Basho for verses that evoke a sense of mindfulness and connection to the natural world. Mindfulness and meditation guides: There are numerous books and articles written specifically for meditation and mindfulness practices. Look for excerpts or teachings that speak to the importance of present moment awareness, cultivating inner peace, or finding stillness amid movement. Personal affirmations or mantras: Create your own set of affirmations or mantras that resonate with you personally. These can be positive statements or phrases that help ground you in the present moment and reinforce your intentions for your walking meditation practice. Reflections on walking and movement: Consider readings that explore the significance of walking and movement in various aspects of life. This could include writings on pilgrimage, the art of walking, or the connection between physical and mental well-being. When selecting readings, choose ones that align with your beliefs, values, and intentions for your walking meditation practice. Experiment with different texts and see which ones resonate with you the most. You can read them before or during your walking meditation, allowing the words to guide and inspire your contemplative journey.
  15. Meditation can be a powerful tool for developing awareness and understanding of internal sensations. By cultivating a practice of mindfulness, we can learn to observe and accept our bodily sensations without judgment, which can help to reduce stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions. During meditation, we can focus our attention on our breath, body, or other sensations to help anchor our awareness in the present moment. By focusing on our breath, for example, we can become more aware of the physical sensations of breathing, such as the rise and fall of the chest or the feeling of air moving in and out of the nostrils. As we become more attuned to our bodily sensations, we may start to notice areas of tension or discomfort that we were previously unaware of. By acknowledging these sensations and observing them with curiosity and compassion, we can begin to release physical and emotional tension and gain a deeper understanding of ourselves. It's important to remember that everyone experiences sensations differently, and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to meditate. The key is to approach meditation with an open and curious mindset, and to allow yourself to fully experience whatever sensations arise during your practice. With time and consistent effort, meditation can become a powerful tool for cultivating awareness, insight, and inner peace.
  16. Walking meditation and mindfulness breaks are great alternatives to long meditation sessions. Sometimes I walk around while being present, film and upload for others to follow.
  17. Happiness is a state of being that everyone aspires to achieve. It is the feeling of joy, contentment, and satisfaction that arises from within when we are in a positive state of mind. Happiness is often associated with the fulfillment of our desires and the attainment of our goals, but it goes beyond that. True happiness is a state of mind that is not dependent on external circumstances or material possessions. It is a feeling that arises from within and is independent of external factors. Happiness is a complex and multifaceted emotion that can be difficult to define, but it is generally understood to be a positive emotional state characterized by feelings of pleasure, satisfaction, and contentment. It can be experienced in a variety of ways, from a fleeting moment of joy to a deep sense of fulfillment and purpose. Research has shown that happiness has numerous benefits for our health and well-being. Happy people are generally more resilient to stress, have stronger immune systems, and live longer. They are also more creative, productive, and successful in their personal and professional lives. There are many factors that contribute to happiness, including our relationships, our work, our health, and our personal values and beliefs. However, research suggests that there are some common characteristics and practices that are associated with greater happiness. These include: Cultivating positive emotions: Focusing on positive emotions such as gratitude, joy, and kindness can help to increase feelings of happiness and well-being. Building strong relationships: Having close, supportive relationships with family and friends is a key factor in happiness. Pursuing meaningful goals: Having a sense of purpose and working towards meaningful goals that align with our values and interests can bring a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Practicing mindfulness and self-compassion: Being present in the moment and treating ourselves with kindness and compassion can help to reduce stress and increase happiness. Engaging in physical activity and healthy habits: Regular exercise, good sleep, and a healthy diet are important for physical and mental health, and can also contribute to feelings of happiness. In conclusion, happiness is a complex and multifaceted emotion that is essential to our health and well-being. While there is no one-size-fits-all formula for happiness, research suggests that cultivating positive emotions, building strong relationships, pursuing meaningful goals, practicing mindfulness and self-compassion, and engaging in healthy habits can all contribute to greater happiness and fulfillment in life.
  18. First of all I didnt ask to explain active listening - Thats something else. Secondly Its not “my” theory. Im new here and thought people know about Mindfulness. Getting a reply from a kid who thinks this is a question about I cannot communicate r.i.p
  19. Hi Lesley, how cool about Qigong and Tai Chi. My parents used to do Tai Chi but I have never tried. It always looked very magical though. Sorry to hear about the heart attack. I also don't like focusing on my heartbeat because it makes me feel like I'm just making it beat faster. Some people like to focus on their breath. I sometimes like to just focus on a good feeling, usually I feel it in my solar plexus or stomach region. You could pick a feeling that your daydreams give you that you like and just hold that feeling for your meditation. Sometimes I will focus on a sound in the room - AC, heater, rain outside, etc. This is great for when you aren't in the quietest of places and still want to get a meditation in Daydreaming is a fine process as well! One of the points of meditation is to feel better and to relax, so if that gives you those feelings, then you are achieving a large part of what meditation gifts us. You could alternatively start with a daydream and let them play and pass as thoughts, like mindfulness meditations.
  20. Cody, I also have a very in depth video on HOW to meditate. On this journey, you will hear many rules. "You should meditate sitting up," "you should have no thoughts," "you should meditate for X amount of time," "you should meditate in the mornings," etc. At the end of the day, it's about figuring out what works best for you. If you are not a morning person, let's say, finding 15 extra minutes during a time you sleep in and barely get out the door in time will work against you. If you spend most of your time feeling uncomfortable while you meditate sitting up, you aren't going to stick with meditating for long, as another example. If you really only have 15 minutes to meditate, but you hear advice saying it should be 30-45 min each day... the rest of your life will take a hit and you again won't stick with meditating in the long term. And if you don't spend the 30-45 min others advised you to, you'll feel guilty or like you're missing out. I talk about that and many different ways to meditate. From working with colors, to chakras, to silence, to mindfulness, to guided. Lengths of time, sitting up or lying down, and much more. I hope it serves you ❤️
  21. Hi Cody, sometimes the best way to learn about a new meditation technique is to try it. I have a free guided meditation here in my style (I also meditate in silence, and do mindfulness meditations too).
  22. The ringing in the ears associated with tinnitus can dramatically impact on a person's quality of life. However, as Calvin Holbrook suggests, there are many ways you can cope with tinnitus. Here are ten practical ideas based on his own experience. Writing this now, with my Spotify Peaceful Piano Playlist gently playing soothing background music, I can still hear a high-pitched hissing noise in both of my ears. It's there all of the time; never goes away. Usually, it's a single, constant whirring noise. At other times it changes pitch or other sounds pop in and fade out again. And while the ringing in my ears often varies, currently my ability to cope with tinnitus largely remains unchanged. But it wasn't always like this. Rewind one year ago and things were very different. I'd had temporary bursts over tinnitus over the past decade: I'd suddenly hear high-pitched noises but they would then fade down to zero again within a few seconds. However, one day, that familiarly shrill noise came in but didn't stop: I was now living with chronic tinnitus and would (probably) have to learn how to cope with it for the rest of my life. I can clearly still recall the fresh hell of developing chronic tinnitus after a period of extended stress: the realization it will probably never go away; trying everything to drown out the sound; the sleepless nights, trying (yet failing) to focus on work. Unfortunately, in addition to developing tinnitus I also experienced hyperacusis, a condition in which your ears become super sensitive to sound. Listening to someone handle cutlery or plates was enough to send me over the edge. When tinnitus first becomes chronic, your brain immediately switches into alarm mode, imaging the internal noise as harmful or dangerous. Furthermore, focusing on anything else apart from the ringing seems like an impossible task. Like me, you may experience panic, anxiety, depression and anger as you try to cope with tinnitus symptoms. You may think to yourself: ’why me?’ And you will probably ask yourself many other questions about your tinnitus too: ‘Will it ever stop?’ ‘Will it get louder?’ ‘Am I going deaf?’ ‘Am I stuck with this for the rest of my life?’ Tinnitus: things will get better While it all feels pretty dark in the beginning, I'm here to tell you that there is hope on the horizon and that living with tinnitus is possible. Indeed, if you've recently been struck down with tinnitus and are struggling to cope, please be assured: you should see improvements with time and start to feel better mentally about it. However, if you're currently feeling like it’s an emergency or having dark/suicidal thoughts, please seek help ASAP from your healthcare provider. You can learn techniques to help you cope with tinnitus The hyper-alert state you experience with tinnitus can last many weeks or months. However, day by day your brain begins to get used to the strange new sounds you're hearing and will gradually begin to get used to them. This process is called 'habituation' and just knowing that it will happen naturally can help you to learn to deal with your tinnitus. Indeed, I – and millions others across the world – are proof of that. A year after being diagnosed with chronic tinnitus I am coping with it much better. Of course, like everyone else I have good and bad days (so-called tinnitus 'spikes' – increases or drastic changes in pitch/loudness – can be a challenge), but my condition currently doesn’t impact on my happiness to a great extent. Coping with tinnitus: 10 techniques It's important to point out that the internal sounds those of us living with tinnitus experience are all different. Although the level of my ringing is bothersome, it is not unbearable. This may change in the future. I've read stories of people that experience ringing at extremely high sound levels: that, of course, must make the condition more challenging and impact on a person's ability to cope with tinnitus. However, whatever type of tinnitus you are experiencing, there are many practical steps you can take to cope with tinnitus and make it less intrusive in your life. Here are 10 tips to get you started. 1. Accept it The first step in coping with tinnitus lies in acceptance of the condition. However, this is often easier said than done in the beginning. As much as you may want to fight against the ringing in your ears – especially during those first traumatic weeks or months – doing so will only lead to disappointment and frustration. While some people experience temporary tinnitus because of trauma to the head or an ear infection, those of us with chronic tinnitus are usually stuck with the noises for life (saying that, there have been cases where people's tinnitus appears to have vanished). Accepting your condition is essential for you to be able to deal with tinnitus. Essentially, you first need to know if your tinnitus is temporary or chronic and if you have any hearing damage. Visit a high street ophthalmologist or ask your GP to refer you to an ear, nose and throat (ENT) specialist. 2. Relaxation The anxiety you feel when first getting tinnitus is to be expected but it will only make you feel more stressed, and, in turn, exacerbate tinnitus. Indeed, it's believed that stress really impacts on tinnitus, so it’s important that you reduce any stressors in your life to keep tinnitus levels in check. In fact, many people living with tinnitus use their condition as a barometer of their stress levels – if their tinnitus appears to be worsening, it’s a signal something in their life is out of balance. “Many people coping with tinnitus use it as a barometer of stress – if their tinnitus appears to be worsening, it’s a signal something is out of balance.” Relaxation is obviously a key way to combat stress and therefore improve how you deal with tinnitus. Practising meditation and conscious breathing exercises are practical and simple tools you can use to immediately reduce anxiety and stress. Incorporate both into your daily routine to feel the benefits. Also, be sure to spend as much time in nature as possible. As well as the relaxation and proven mental health benefits of forest bathing, the sounds of nature help to soothe that pesky tinnitus ringing. The crashing of waves; the rustling of branches and leaves, bird song – the many noises of nature offer your ears and brain a calming distraction. Sea sounds help to mask tinnitus noise shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 3. Practising mindfulness Making mindfulness a part of your daily routine is one of the best things you can do when it comes to coping with tinnitus. Mindfulness won't make tinnitus go away, but it aims to make it less intrusive. Indeed, mindfulness teaches us how to live with difficulties such as tinnitus, without having to fight or change them. Practising mindfulness can help us help us to develop a better relationship with our tinnitus, aiding the habituation process. RELATED: Mindful behaviour – 13 practical mindfulness tools In 2017 the British Tinnitus Assoctiation published two research papers that showed that mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is an effective treatment for those people living with distressing tinnitus. The results showed that tinnitus patients undergoing MBCT were associated with significant, reliable and ongoing improvements in their tinnitus-related and emotional distress. Luckily, mindfulness is something we can all practise by ourselves and for free. It involves paying complete and mindful attention to whatever we're doing in the moment: breathing, eating, showering, walking or noticing the physical sensations in our body, for example. We have some great mindfulness tips you can incorporate into your daily routine to help you to become less focused on your tinnitus. 4. Finding your flow Personally, experiencing ‘flow’ is the most efficient way to cope with my own tinnitus. 'Flow' is that state in which you are so totally absorbed and engaged in an activity that you enjoy that time seems to stand still. For example, I find my flow when I'm making an artwork or editing an article. RELATED: Flow state and happiness Sometimes my attention is so focused in the state of flow that it can seem like my tinnitus has stopped (for a while at least!). Flow is really an act of mindfulness, and as outlined above, mindfulness is one of the scientifically-proven best ways to deal with tinnitus. 5. Staying busy Finding your flow is one of the best ways to deal with your tinnitus as it helps to shift your awareness to something other than the internal noises you are dealing with. Similarly, I find that staying busy – in a non-stressful way of course – keeps my focus off of my tinnitus so it’s easier to cope with. Sitting around in silence is when tinnitus may start to bother you the most, so staying active and on-the-go helps to keep it stop dominating your mind. 6. Exercising with yoga OK, we all know the drill about exercise: it boosts your physical and mental health, helping to lift depression and anxiety (which you could be more vulnerable to if you are living with tinnitus). Exercise also combats against stress which, as explained above, is a major influencing factor when it comes to tinnitus levels. Yoga, in particular, is an exercise that has been found to help people cope better with tinnitus. A small 2018 study from Mersin University in Turkey indicated that practising yoga may reduce life stress and symptoms of tinnitus. Researchers followed 12 participants who practised guided yoga over three months involving poses, breathing exercises and meditations. The researchers hypothesized that because tinnitus symptoms are often linked to stress, and because yoga is stress-relieving, yoga may help decrease symptoms for patients living with chronic tinnitus. “Good sleep is essential when it comes to coping with tinnitus. Our bodies need sleep to heal and recover. When I have a bad night’s rest my tinnitus always seems louder the following day.” Elsewhere, Polish researchers conducted a similar study in 2019. It followed 25 patients with chronic tinnitus through 12 weeks of yoga training. The researchers identified that participants benefitted most from improved sense of control over tinnitus, lessened intrusiveness, improved quality of life and better sleep. The last point of improved sleep is important (as we shall see next). Importantly, whatever exercise you choose to do, working out will help to tire your body and lead to an increased chance of falling asleep quickly. Yoga is a perfect way to shift awareness shutterstock/Ulza 7. Prioritising good sleep Good sleep is essential when it comes to coping with tinnitus. Our bodies need sleep to heal and recover. When I have a bad night’s rest, my tinnitus always seems louder the following day. However – as you will no doubt know – sometimes falling asleep can be difficult for those of us with chronic tinnitus. That’s because tinnitus appears to sound worse at night – there are fewer external noises to mask the internal sounds, so we may have 'external' silence but have to put up with our 'internal' noises. RELATED: 14 sleep hacks to get a good night's rest One thing I love to do to help shift awareness from my tinnitus when going to bed is follow a body scan meditation script. Gradually tensing and releasing different body parts and feeling the sensations it brings directs your thoughts away from your tinnitus and to those other places in your body. You can also find ways to externally ‘mask’ your tinnitus sounds at night to help you drift off more easily. In my first few months of living with chronic tinnitus, I used mobile apps such as the excellent T-Minus to play 'white noise' such as rain sound, which works wonders balancing out my high-pitched tinnitus. There are also plenty of great YouTube videos of rain sounds that you can play in the background while you're in bed. 8. Exploring masking Sound-masking devices such as the apps mentioned above provide an external noise that partially drowns out the internal ringing of tinnitus. As well as using apps you can also try: having calming piano music on in the background leaving a fan or the TV on opening a window to let in some external noise Furthermore, if you have hearing loss in addition to tinnitus, there are now hearing aids with inbuilt white noise generators which help many with the condition cope with tinnitus symptoms. Whatever masking method you choose, always set the volume of the device a notch lower than the perceived sound of your tinnitus – you don’t want to drown out the sound completely or you may find it harder to habituate. 9. Talking to someone It’s important to remember that you don’t have to cope with tinnitus alone. As the number of people who live with persistent tinnitus is thought to be around 13 per cent, there’s a chance someone in your close circle is going through the same thing. Open up to family members and friends, or put your thoughts out on social media if you feel comfortable sharing your tinnitus story – you may be surprised by the responses. However, friends and family may not be able to support you unless they have experienced tinnitus themselves, so they may not realise how distressing tinnitus can be (or even know what it is). If this is the case, do connect with someone who has dealt with tinnitus themselves in order to get the help you need. In the UK there are tinnitus support groups up and down the country where you can meet in person to discuss living well with tinnitus. “Tinnitus can dramatically impact on your quality of life and can be hard to adapt to. However, as with everything in life, we can choose how we react to it.” The internet is also full of tinnitus support groups and forums such as the excellent TinnitusTalk forum which is full of useful and insightful threads. However, do so with caution! Be careful when browsing for tinnitus help online as you will come across many dubious ads for methods or items claiming to stop or cure tinnitus. Unfortunately there is no cure for tinnitus, so please don't waste your money. Finally, if you prefer a friendly voice in real time, the British Tinnitus Association offers a confidential tinnitus helpline. You can call its team for support. 10. Exploring your tinnitus This final suggestion may seem like the last thing you want to do, but it actually brings us right back to the first tinnitus coping tip of 'acceptance'. Depending on your personal tinnitus noise level, you may find it beneficial to employ some mindfulness techniques and simply sit with your tinnitus for a while. Try to listen to it with curiosity and without judgement. Take some time to observe your tinnitus and ask yourself some questions about it. Does your tinnitus noise level stay the same or does it get louder or quieter? Does it stay at the same pitch or do you hear new sounds come in and out? Does it sound the same in your left and right side? If you feel comfortable and ready for this type of exercise, you can even sit and meditate on your tinnitus, bringing all your attention to the sounds and your breathing. Exploring your tinnitus in this way may seem difficult if you've bee recently diagnosed with the condition, but realizing that tinnitus is just 'there' and cannot harm you can help you to cope with its day-to-day symptoms. The takeaway: dealing with tinnitus Tinnitus can dramatically impact on your quality of life and can be hard to adapt to. However, as with everything in life, we can choose how we react to it. If we fight against our tinnitus, we are more likely to struggle. But, if we learn to accept it and live with it, habituation to tinnitus can become easier. Whatever type of sounds you experience – hissing, whistling, humming or buzzing – by following the ten tips above, coping with tinnitus should become easier. Hopefully, as is the case with myself, tinnitus will just become another part of your life, and not a dominating factor. • Main image: shutterstock/aleks333 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our Academy Resilience | Gratitude | Self-care Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes gay artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.
  23. Hi, I'm new to the forum but not to meditation. I found peace of mind in my teens with Yoga although I didn't consciously meditate. In my thirties I started going to a Tai Chi class which taught me a lot about mindfulness, although it wasn't called that at the time. Tai chi is a form of meditation in itself even though it is practiced moving. I got 'into' Tai Chi so much that when a friend asked me to take over teaching a class, I took it on and over the last twenty plus years I have developed that and run a few regular classes every week. To be more precise, just over five years ago I found a Qigong teacher and have gradually changed my practice and teaching to that discipline. For those of you who don't know what Qigong is, it's the precursor of Tai Chi and goes back centuries. My Qigong teacher is very knowledgeable and also practices Shiatsu and has run both Tai Chi and martial arts classes. However, he does not meditate as such, although the way he practices Qigong is very profound and internal. Six years ago I had a mild heart attack, and have suffered from palpitations for as long as I can remember. This means that I find it uncomfortable using internal cues such as the heartbeat in meditation. Whenever I feel anxious and have a high heart rate, I find that listening to my heartbeat or breath is not soothing, and often only magnifies my discomfort. I find daydreaming most effective in calming and lowering my heart rates - imagining a relaxing scenario or 'telling myself a story'. My question is this - is there a way to overcome my discomfort with internal sensations, or alternatively is there something similar to daydreaming that I can harness or duplicate as a meditation? I'd be interested to hear any suggestions.
  24. Holidays aren't always a time of cheer: especially if you've lost a loved one and are grieving. Paula Stephens knows this feeling all too well. Here she shares 10 practical tips for coping with holiday grief. I lost my Dad on Christmas Eve when I was just 16. The next year my Mom, Grandma and I took our holiday grief on vacation and found ourselves on a beach in Hawaii for the entire festive season. It was a great way to break with the traditions and memories none of us wanted to face. My most vivid memory of that Hawaiian vacation was sitting next to an older gentleman at dinner on Christmas Eve and noticing he was wearing the exact same sweater my Dad would’ve been wearing. Well, this brought my grief right back up to the surface and I left the dinner to go down to the beach and cry. 10 tips for coping with holiday grief Needless to say, it’s been a long time since I felt untarnished joy and happiness during the holiday season. But, I believe that we are deserving of joy during the holidays, even if it comes balanced with the heartache and longing for the person we love and are missing deeply. In my book, From Grief to Growth, I talk about an essential element of healing that is learning to hold both joy and sadness in the same moment. There is no more challenging time to do this than during the holidays. This is why I've put together these ten easy-to-follow tips that will support you as you navigate coping during the holiday season. I don’t like to say ‘survive the holidays,’ because I want to encourage you to have the mindset that you're always fully capable of more than survival. These are simple, practical tips that don’t require a lot on your part, but are focused to help you the most this time of year. 1. List the events you're most worried about Often, much of our holiday grief comes from not knowing what’s going to happen or how traditions and events are going to feel differently after the loss of a loved one. So, take some quiet time to think through what specific traditions you're most concerned about. The best way to do this is to find some time to sit quietly and connect with your breath. Once you’ve centered yourself, ask yourself the question: “What events or traditions are creating the most anxiety for me right now?” Your inner knowing has the answer. You might immediately be pulled to an event or activity. Notice how your body feels, the sensations and energy around the activity. Coping with loss during the holidays is a challenge shutterstock/Zivica Kerkez If nothing comes up immediately then begin to bring your thoughts to various holiday activities. Check in with each one – tree decorating, cookie exchange, for example. How does each one feel; what comes up? You might find some are more emotionally charged than others. 2. Consider which events/traditions you want to keep Be open to the idea that some traditions you will want to wrap in love and keep, while others will need to be shelved for a while (and maybe for ever). Recognize the traditions you keep will never be the same, but keeping them honors the love you feel for the person you lost. Every year will be a little bit different, and what feels right this year might not feel the same in the coming years. Grief is a process and you must be willing to evolve with it. Always be open to what will help you move forward in your grief… and sometimes we need to go backwards to go forward! Get out your list from tip one. Now, let’s take the next steps: • Which events do you want to keep this year? • Which events are too painful this year or don’t feel right? • What or how can you modify an event? If you're undecided on some, come back to your list again later or sit with the idea of doing that event and see what comes up. I know we can’t always control everything about the holiday seasons with family being involved, etc, but don’t worry. 3. Brainstorm how you want to honor your loved one Even if you decide to escape the entire holiday season and fly away to Hawaii for the holidays (been there, done that!), it’s important that you take time to honor your loved one. It could be with a donation of time or money, or by creating a sacred space or a new tradition. No matter what you decide, be mindful about setting time aside to actively honor your loss. What would you like to do this year to include your loved one in the holiday season? What do you need to do to make this come to fruition? 4. Let the tears flow Quite simply, cry. Don’t be the tough guy or girl who pretends it’s all good – because it's probably not. You’re going through a season or anniversary without someone who was a very important part of your life and coping with holiday grief is part of that. By yourself or with your besties, it doesn’t matter, just let it happen. "Much of our holiday grief comes from not knowing what’s going to happen or how traditions and events are going to feel differently after the loss of a loved one.” Another way to look at this is: are you checking in with yourself to know what’s going on emotionally and physically? Are you filling your days with busy activity to disconnect from the emotional heartache you would feel if you had a moment of downtime? Or, perhaps, you're withdrawing from friends, family and social activities. There isn’t a right or wrong way to deal with holiday grief, but we need to be aware of our tendencies to protect ourselves or how we might fall into negative coping strategies. Sometimes a good cry is a better reset than the work we put into avoiding our reality. So, if you need a good cry, have one. 5.Tell friends and family how you're feeling Family and friends might not know exactly which activities you’ll struggle with: what might be hard and/or memorable to them might not be the same for you. Generally speaking, they will want to support you, especially with managing your grief during the holiday season. But, you're the only one who knows what you need and how you're feeling, so don’t make it harder for them by expecting them to guess what this is like for you. Tree of knowledge: dealing with holiday grief We all experience grief differently, so share your fears, concerns and desires. Express what’s important to you or how you would like to handle a specific event. It doesn’t mean you'll always get what you want or need, but it means that you have given voice to your grief and honored your process. 6. Prioritize your self-care There's no more important time to focus your energy on self-care than during the holidays. Lack of sleep, poor food choices, increased alcohol consumption, decreased exercise and increased stress all add up to a massive grief hangover! The 8 types of grief explained 7 healing quotes on grief to inspire How to help a grieving friend Your emotional self is already on overdrive and this will leave your immune system susceptible to illness and your physical body exhausted. Make hydration, sleep, whole foods, stress management and exercise a priority leading up to and including any seasonal events. Care for yourself by: eating a healthy breakfast, drinking more water, going to bed 30 minutes early, journaling, being outside, connecting with nature, and skipping that second (or third) drink at a party! 7. Manage your energy This is a continuation of the last tip. Even if you are taking care of yourself, notice when your tank is getting close to empty. This is especially important if you're the type of person who likes to stay busy to keep their mind off things. Exhaustion (physical and emotional) is often the root cause of emotional meltdowns. And, as you know, grieving is emotional exhausting by itself, then you add the emotional stress of the holidays and your tank is already half empty! So, remember that it’s OK to say ‘no’ to events, or change your ‘yes’ to a ‘no’ at the last minute if you notice you're not feeling up to the task. List three ways you know you’re getting low on energy (ie, irritable, fatigue, craving sugar/caffeine). Now list three ways you can fill your tank (ie: nap, take a bath, journal, read a book). 8. Prioritize work/social events The holidays are an especially busy time of year for extra parties and events – work, neighborhood and family are examples. Take time to choose only one or two events that are important for you to attend. These might be required for your job or things you just simply don’t want to miss. Be mindful about your selection and take your time to RSVP. For social events that you might have attended with your loved one, ask yourself if you're ready for that situation. Imagine yourself in that environment. Who will be at the event? What will it be like to attend? “We are deserving of joy during the holidays, even if it comes balanced with the heartache and longing for the person we love and are missing deeply.” Then, have an exit strategy! If it’s required that you attend, or you feel like you ‘should’ go, make sure you have a plan for getting out if things get too difficult. This might be driving a separate car or letting the host know you will be not be staying long. 9. Build time in for you As you're planning your social events, make sure you put ‘me time' on the calendar. Whether that's to get out into nature and hike, get a massage, read a book, take a bath, it doesn’t matter – just build in time to recharge your batteries. This could also include making time to be with close friends or family that help you feel connected and loved. Be sure to reach out to these people and let them know you might need some support during the holiday season. Write a list of the people you can connect with and/or activities that soothe your soul. And, again, since people aren’t mind readers, let people know you're taking care of yourself by scheduling time to reflect and recharge. 10. Give back One of the most amazing ways to cope with your grief during an anniversary or holiday season is to make it a little better for someone else. Unfortunately, there's so much suffering around the holidays – in this we are not alone. Donate to a charity in your loved one’s name. Give your time to helping others. Buy a gift for someone in a hospital or nursing home. Pay for the person behind you at Starbucks. Volunteer your time. The options for random acts of kindness are endless. Honestly, nothing soothes and heals our own wounds more than helping someone else. How can you help someone else feel comforted this holiday season? Giving doesn’t have to be financial – you can give of your time, you can donate clothes or other items you no longer use. I hope my tips will hope you manage and cope with grief this holiday season and that you enjoy this time. You deserve it! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Friendship | Mindfulness | Vulnerability | Burnout Written by Paula Stephens Paula Stephens, M.A. is the founder of Crazy Good Grief, an organization that teaches positive growth and resilience after the loss of a loved one. Her work is inspired by the personal loss of her oldest son who passed away unexpectedly while home on leave from the Army. Paula is a speaker, yogi and life coach. She's also the author of From Grief to Growth: 5 Essential Elements to Give your Grief Purpose and Grow from Your Experience. Paula is a practicing Buddhist and recently became the first Buddhist Chaplain to work at the county jail where she lives. She is the mother of four boys and lives in Littleton, Colorado.
  25. Mindful meditation is a popular and pretty basic type of meditation. If you deal with anxiety or depression it can be very helpful in minimizing those conditions. Mindfulness means to be present and fully engaged with whatever you’re doing in the moment. Mindfulness meditation is the practice of being mindful — being aware — of exactly what you are doing in this present moment. You can practice mindfulness meditation at any time, anywhere, doing anything — walking in the park, washing dishes, or getting dressed in the morning. In short, it simply means to be one hundred percent involved in whatever activity you are currently engaged in — and not worrying about the future, stressing about the past, or thinking about any distractions.
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