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  1. I work as an electrical engineer for the government's research. My job is to make unique electrical devices which perform tasks, our scientists need for their research. Of course, there are bad days, when I can't find a bug for a while, but in total it's fun. I like that in my workplace, quality is more important than quantity. So I can take my time to make something good. The colleagues and I support each other if we can and when a project is done, I can proudly say: "I made this!". My job is well paid, but I could get more money working for an industrial company. I chose not to, because my dad did and he barely survived a heart attack. So to me, happiness and health are more important than money too. Basically it's that I work on different unique projects, so it doesn't get boring and like I said before, the proud feeling, I did something awesome. I'm very thankful for my job, because unfortunately, many people have to take any job they can get, to keep their head above water. And even if "doing what you like" sounds simple, you have to be lucky and you may have to work a lot on your qualification. So as a conclusion, find out what you'd like to do. Be aware of the job's downsides. Work hard for it. If you fail, get back up and continue. (Probably the hardest part) And finally enjoy the job of your dreams.
  2. The qualities of a best friend? That seems like a simple question at first, and a number of buzzwords pop into my head immediately: Trust, letting go, serenity, authenticity, honesty, secrets, deep affection, reliability, familiarity, all-nighters, crying and comforting and lots of fun, madness and laughter, laughter, laughter. But then when I think about the people who are so close to me that I call them best friends, the question of the qualities of a best friend no longer seems quite so easy to answer. Because then there would have to be something like an intersection of qualities that applies to these people. The only quality that all my friends really have is a sense of humour and the willingness to laugh at almost anything at any time. Otherwise, being close friends with someone is actually similar to falling in love, the other person complements us or mirrors us and makes something in us resonate. For me personally, I find that it is not the associated terms of friendship that make up my best friends, or actually all friends, but the personalities that they are. That, after much reflection, is for me the highest quality of a best buddy: that she is her and he is him and I am me when we are together.
  3. The qualities of a best friend? That seems like a simple question at first, and a number of buzzwords pop into my head immediately:Trust, letting go, serenity, authenticity, honesty, secrets, deep affection, reliability, familiarity, all-nighters, crying and comforting and lots of fun, madness and laughter, laughter, laughter. But then when I think about the people who are so close to me that I call them best friends, the question of the qualities of a best friend no longer seems quite so easy to answer. Because then there would have to be something like an intersection of qualities that applies to these people. The only quality that all my friends really have is a sense of humour and the willingness to laugh at almost anything at any time. Otherwise, being close friends with someone is actually similar to falling in love, the other person complements us or mirrors us and makes something in us resonate. For me personally, I find that it is not the associated terms of friendship that make up my best friends, or actually all friends, but the personalities that they are. That, after much reflection, is for me the highest quality of a best buddy: that she is her and he is him and I am me when we are together.
  4. I had a simple plan: Be good in school, get a good job, get a wife, get a family, get a house. It started easy but then I was broken, when I tried to find a girlfriend/relationship. I put a lot of effort in dates, I was empathic and kind. Nobody wanted me and I couldn't figure out, why. That's me, a logically thinking guy trying to plan irrational things Healing was realizing, the most important relationship in life is the one with myself. So I took the effort from my dates and put it in myself. I cooked nice meals for myself, I went to the cinema alone, I went shopping and got some good looking clothes, ... Because... I waited for happiness for too long, so I've decided to make it myself. And knowing, I don't need anyone to make me happy, made me a lot more confident. And with the confidence, a woman fell in love with me. Sometimes it's hard to believe, but if you look back, bad times were necessary to make things good today.
  5. Thank you both for sharing so many ideas and helpful links. I am not on lockdown where I live and I'm still expected to report to work for now. Nonetheless, I'd like to share with everyone some things that have been helping me cope with these uncertainties: 1. Please know that it's okay if you feel you only have enough energy to simply survive right now. Try not to feel bad about yourself due to lacks in productivity or creativity. If you're spending more time than usual lying on the couch and binge-watching a series or two, that's okay! 2. If you'd like to try to feel reinvigorated, look up some energy exercises by Donna Eden. I've recently learned about her and her work. I've tried one simple exercise, a few times so far now, and I swear each time I felt great afterwards! 3. Finally read one (or more) of those books that's been sitting on the shelf! 4. Send a message to someone you haven't interacted with in a while. Check in on family and friends, too, of course. 5. Exercise! Yoga is ideal. HIIT workouts and weight training (even using just your own body weight) are beneficial as well. You can find endless exercise videos on YouTube. 6. Meditate, obvi. ? It can be as simple as observing your thoughts and welcoming your emotions as visitors passing through. (There are countless resources out there for those who need more help than that. I recommend starting with Guided Meditations, like the one our friend @Tine will be facilitating!) 7. If you have pets, spoil them with your attention. Be grateful that you have the emotional support of a being who cannot possibly bring up the virus ?? 8. Revel in the delightful feelings brought about when listening to music 9. Enjoy free access to some of the visual arts of Paris: http://parismuseescollections.paris.fr/en 10. Eat fresh produce if you have access to it. If not, get creative with whatever you have in your pantry. I get into mindul/meditative headspaces when cooking and when cleaning, too (do your spring cleaning if you can!). Thank you for reading! I truly hope anyone finds this post helpful Prioritize self care right now.
  6. The authors of a new book, Wired to Create, explore the depths of the creative mind and offer ideas on how to kick-start your own creativity. From daydreaming to having a natural curiosity, here are 10 things the authors believe that great artists, writers and innovators do differently. “In the course of creative endeavours, artists and scientists join fragments of knowledge into a new unity of understanding.” So Vera John-Steiner wrote in her 1985 book: Notebooks of the Mind: Explorations of Thinking. In it, John-Steiner explored the mind of over 100 artists and creatives through interviews. No creative process is the same, and so for a long time this has mystified creativity, and the mind of those whom over the course of history have been known to exercise it. In the book Wired to Create, Dr Kaufman and Carolyn Gregoire research deep into recent findings in neuroscience and psychology to discover and unravel the layers of the creative mind. The book not only offers an informative read but also practical tips on getting the creative juices flowing. “In the course of creative endeavours, artists and scientists join fragments of knowledge into a new unity of understanding.” Dr Scott Barry Kaufmann is a cognitive psychologist, author and speaker known for his research on intelligence and creativity. His co-author Carolyn Gregoire is a journalist who wrote the article “18 Things Highly Creative People Do Differently” for the Huffington Post that originated the book. “Is it possible to make sense of something as abstract as creativity?” the writers wondered. Creativity: the four-stage model The book introduces psychologist Graham Wallace’s popular “four-stage model” of creativity. It proposes the following stages: preparation, or acquiring information about a subject incubation, or letting knowledge sit the illumination stage, in which an insight has been found after associating different ideas verification, in which the artist shares the insights found The model, simple and straightforward, reminds me of a list that offers creative boosting tips such as taking a walk or listening to classical music. Even though these tips and models are helpful, they overlook a simple and common finding: creative processes are rarely linear. Indeed, Kaufman shares a post specifically on the messy minds of creative people. Artists: what lies behind their creativity? When we see results in an art exhibit or final pieces that are complete and cohesive, it's easy to forget that the ride to get there is rarely a formula, and that it varies from artist to artist. Wired to Create highlights complexities and goes in depth about the different and opposing ideas that exist within the creators, (play and seriousness, collaboration and solitude, openness and sensitivity) without being dry. In fact, it's rather upbeat, full of memorable quotes and also some practical advice. So, here are the 10 things great artists and other creative types do differently: 1. Imaginative play The book starts by going back to when we were kids. The line “A spirit of childlike curiosity and exploration is palpable in each of his highly imaginative creations” refers to Shigeru Miyamoto, the creator of Super Mario Bros. Miyamoto drew inspiration from his childhood, when he used to wander in the forest and play inside caves. The authors write, "For creative minds, creating itself is an act of play". English professor Brian Boyd puts it this way in his 2009 book, On the Origins of Stories: “A work of art act likes a playground for the mind, a swing or a slide or a merry-go-round of visual or aural or social pattern.” This points out how crucial imaginative play is during childhood, quoting psychologist Sandra Russ, “Pretend play is where many of the cognitive and affective processes important to creativity occur… because the child is making something out of nothing. 2. Passion Systematic studies confirm the importance of passionate focus when it comes to creating, as it helps the creator through challenges and setbacks. 'Follow your passion' is one of the most widely circulating clichés out there (not to mention one of the most unhelpful pieces of career advice). While the latest science supports the importance of passion in achieving any personally meaningful goal, it also suggests that this thinking is far too simplistic. “Mastering the skills necessary to create something valuable takes hard work; passion and effort feed off each other.” Apart from this, the authors make a distinction between different types of passion and its companion, inspiration. The new book Wired to Create investigates the things creative people do differently 3. Daydreaming All those times you let your mind wander at school during class might have been of benefit. Studies such as the one discussed by the Smithsonianmag on The Benefits of Daydreaming suggest that letting your mind go where it wants to go indicates a high functioning memory. Dr Kaufmann and colleague Rebecca McMillan noted mind wandering can be anything but mindless, in fact, it can be suitable for creative incubation: “Many of us know from experience that our best ideas come seemingly out of the blue when our minds are off wandering elsewhere.” Research suggests that an incubation period of mind wandering leads to improvements in creative thinking. The next time you’re working hard on a creative project or work assignment that requires intense focus and creative chops, try taking a five- minute daydreaming break every hour or so and see how it affects your ideas and thinking. During this break, engage in a simple activity that will allow your mind to wander like doodling or cleaning. Daydreaming: letting your mind wander opens it to creative inspiration 4. Solitude It's hard to be alone nowadays, or truly experience solitude when 'connection' seems to be at your fingertips 24/7, and we make our lives public, voluntarily. Even if many celebrated artists and thinkers are an example of somewhat solitary lives and culture tends to underestimate alone time. Of course, meaningful collaboration is important for creativity in many settings, and it’s essential to bring different perspectives together. However, the act of creating requires us to find time to ourselves and slow down enough to hear our own ideas --- both the good and bad ones: “Some degree of isolation is required to do creative work because the artist is constantly working on ideas or projects in his mind – and these ideas need space to be developed.” Taking some time off to recharge on your own can be very productive and prioritising this can lead to many benefits. You don’t need a vast getaway, start by a much needed social media break. Solitude: finding time alone is important for the artists to focus on creative ideas 5. Intuition Intuition. That little voice or 'gut feeling' ready to guide you and make decisions sometimes based on past experiences. Some psychologists refer to it as a 'mental matching game'. People often tend to debate how much of their intuition they should follow or how much or their rational mind should lead. Moreover, Wired to Create considers theories of cognition that suggest we have two mental processes, one that is quick and that drives us to action almost automatically, and one that is more controlled and rational. This chapter is particularly interesting as it discusses in detail how these processes act together and help us assimilate information in different ways. For example: “spontaneous methods are useful when we are coming up with ideas, while refocusing and using our rational mind help us figure out how to make these ideas come to life.” Both processes are valuable at different times in the creative process, and finding a balance is crucial in any creative field. 6. Openness to experience Allan Watts once said, “By replacing the fear of the unknown with curiosity, we open ourselves up to an infinite stream of possibility. We can let fear rule our lives, or we can become childlike with curiosity, pushing our boundaries, leaping out of our comfort zones, and accepting what life puts before us.” For his doctoral dissertation, Kaufmann lead a research study with exciting results about “open” personalities: “The desire to learn and discover seemed to have significantly more bearing on creative accomplishments than did cognitive ability. People with high levels of cognitive engagement with imagination, emotions and beauty were more likely to make significant artistic, creative achievements than people with high IQs.” Findings suggested that openness to experience, the drive for exploration, in all its forms, may be the most important personal factor predicting creative achievement. Creative people are naturally curious and open to new experiences, such as traveling 7. Mindfulness By being an observer of our own minds and surroundings, we might answer what it means to be a human being in a moment in time. Artists, innovators and thinkers are inspired by the world around them by paying attention and observing their outer and inner world thoroughly. Ideas, thoughts and emotions are all part of it: “But the capacity to deeply observe (mindfulness) is not only a key attentional skill, but it’s also a distinct creative advantage.” Psychiatrist Norman Rosenthal’s research on Transcendental Meditation – a popular technique that involves the silent repetition of a personal mantra – found that many new meditators reported “flowering of creativity” after beginning their practice; an ability to see from a novel angle, to pursue new directions effectively, to innovate or change – either the world or themselves – in some meaningful way. Some other similar types of meditation such as Open Monitoring activate the imagination network by permitting some mind wandering while also boosting attention. A capacity for mindfulness is a distinct creative advantage 8. Sensitivity “The perception of sensitive minds has created works of art that offer a window to the human condition.” Apart from proposing research that is beginning to understand the neurological basis of high sensitivity, Wired to Create also presents questions to get a sense of where you are on the Hyper Sensitive Narcissism Scale of Jonathan Cheek. 9. Turning adversity into advantage Trauma is not something that should be glorified, yet creative work can be a way of exploring and giving expression to it once it finds meaning: “Adversity in its many forms can become an act of turning challenges into opportunity for creatives.” Nietzsche said that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Apart from idealisms and watered down self-help inspiration, growth after adversity has been thought of from ancient thinkers to recent psychological research in which they called it post-traumatic growth. 10. Thinking differently By challenging traditional ways of thinking, creative work defies the status quo and can pave the way for a change: The creative act itself is one of breaking from tradition and routine to create new patterns, ask new questions, and seek new answers. People who spend more time consciously thinking differently were far more likely to engage in associational thinking, the book says. Drawing from different experiences or knowledge can result in new connections that help creative problem-solving. Light bulb moments: artists often think differently Even if there is more than characteristics to consider when it comes to creating anything, the book’s overview of extended research on the topic is well organised and easy to digest, making it a smooth read. Moreover, it encourages the reader to not only think of it as a means of achieving but to live creatively, as it is not something that belongs just to a select group but to every human being. ● Main image: Colourbox.com Written by Guest Author We are happy to publish articles by guest authors that will broaden the perspective and bring new insights. If you are interested in publishing an article here on happiness.com, please contact us.
  7. Living our lives to the fullest begins with what's already here. These seven mindfulness tips from Dee Marques will help you to stay engaged and transform routine activities into satisfying snapshots of life. Have you ever felt that sometimes we simply go through our lives instead of living them to the fullest? Today it's common to live surrounded by distractions that make staying engaged hard, forcing us instead to continually move on to the next thing and overlook present experiences. Incorporating mindfulness through these mindfulness tips will help you to stay engaged throughout your day and enjoy the present moment. Indeed, staying mindful and finding pleasure and fulfillment in everyday things can make a considerable contribution to your overall happiness. Before exploring our tips, let's examine exactly what mindfulness is. The dictionary describes mindfulness as: “The state or quality of being mindful or aware of something” and “a technique in which one focuses one's full attention only on the present, experiencing thoughts, feelings, and sensations but not judging them.” With that in mind, here are seven tips for mindfulness to help you turn routine tasks into enriching daily activities. Read on if you’re ready to increase your awareness, boost your connection with own emotions, and improve your chances of staying engaged throughout the day. Mindfulness tips: 7 tips for staying engaged 1. Start-of-the-day ritual Cultivating enriching daily activities as soon as you start your day is crucial to your levels of engagement and well-being. Instead of waking up and getting on with your day on auto-pilot, why not create a ritual that increases your chances of staying engaged? After waking up, don't reach for your phone and scroll through social media. Instead, do some gentle stretching and notice your body getting ready for a new day. Acknowledge your gratefulness for a good night's rest that allows you to tackle whatever lies ahead. As you prepare your tea or coffee, take a minute to check in with yourself. Pay attention to physical sensations: is your body tense or relaxed? How are your energy levels? Are you hungry or thirsty? Mornings are also the perfect time to incorporate other mindfulness tips such as mindful eating or showering. Bend to mend: morning stretching is a great mindfulness tip 2. Mindful showering Talking of which! Showering is a peaceful way of starting or ending the day, as it allows you to gain an appreciation for your body and to be grateful for having the opportunity to look after yourself. As you stand under the water, do a “body scan” from head to toe and take note of any bodily sensations and your feelings. The warm water, the aroma of your favourite shower gel, and a gentle massage are treats to the senses that would be a pity to overlook. RELATED: Do Mindfulness Apps Work? Taking note of these micro-moments can help you stay anchored in the present and counter the go-go-go mindset. In the shower, it's easier to realise when your mind wanders into the past or future. Use this mindfulness tip to realize when this happens while taking a shower and gently bring the mind back to the present moment. Shower power: stay engaged through mindful showering 3. Gratitude walks and walking meditation Having a busy life doesn't mean you can't enjoy the benefits of meditation. Simply walking and noticing all those things you have reasons to be grateful for is a way of staying engaged with the most meaningful aspects of your life. For example, you can notice your legs and feet taking you forward, a ray of sunshine helping support life all around you, or the different colours of objects or plants bringing variety and making life more interesting. “Mornings are the perfect time to incorporate mindfulness tips such as mindful eating or showering.” To practice walking meditation, find a space where you can walk undisturbed and start walking while focusing on each movement. Lifting a foot, putting it in front of the other, placing your feet on the ground, noticing how your body weight shifts as you walk, listening to your breathing, etc. This can help slow down your mind and sharpen your self-awareness. RELATED: How Connecting With Nature Benefits Our Well-Being As if that wasn't enough, walking itself is a beneficial physical activity that can help maintain a healthy weight and decrease stress. Moreover, some scientific studies have found that walking can strengthen the immune system and reduce the risk of developing breast cancer. And as you probably know, a healthy body feeds a healthy mind, and vice versa. 4. Mindful eating We all have to eat, but our busy schedules often make us rush through our meals leading to all sorts of ailments, from poor digestion to weight gain. To avoid this, practice mindful eating by engaging all your senses in a conscious exercise of appreciation. Try this mindfulness tip on eating a raisin: Take a raisin and hold it in your hands, imagining you’ve never seen one before. Use all your five senses to examine it. Look at its every detail: colors, structure, shiny or dull – can you see through it? Touch it with closed eyes. Try to hear if it makes a sound if you squeeze it. Smell it. See if it smells differently depending on which nostril you use. Chew it slowly, noticing its texture and flavour. Take note of the feelings and thoughts it generates. This technique is a mindfulness-based stress reduction MBSR exercise aimed at improving your ability to focus on present experiences, increase attention levels, and boost enjoyment. Eat and engage: this mindfulness tip focuses on food 5. Mindful driving The daily commute can be a source of frustration and anger, but using this mindfulness tip can turn this routine into one of those enriching daily activities that increase your awareness. Before you start the engine, take a few moments to breathe deeply and state your intention to drive mindfully. Ensure your car is a distraction-free environment – like a cocoon that protects you from the noise outside – so put your phone on silent and don’t switch the radio on. “Staying mindful and finding pleasure and fulfilment in everyday things can make a considerable contribution to your overall happiness.” While driving, there will be situations that cause anger or anxiety, but all you need to do is acknowledge your feelings: remember that you have a choice not to let those negative emotions take over. Stay engaged and drive paying attention to your surroundings. In fact, try to see the streets as if it was the first time you were driving along them, and take every interruption (traffic lights, traffic jams, etc.) as a chance to check in with your sensory perceptions. 6. Mindful appreciation Staying engaged in the present and savouring everything life has to offer is hard when our appreciation is weak. To fix this, find four or five things (or people) that make your life easier or better. These could be small details like having drinking water flow as you open the tap or having a blanket to keep you warm and cosy when it gets cold. Make a mental note of those things, or even better, write them down while you ask yourself: What benefits does this bring to my life? What is special or unique about this thing/person? How would life be without them? How did they come to be? Using this mindfulness tip to stop and think will improve your appreciation for simple (and not-so-simple) everyday things and give you more reasons to feel blessed. Watch your wash: be mindful, even when doing the dishes! © Colourbox.com 7. Staying engaged with technology Technology can be a constant source of distraction and interfere with mindful practices, so it’s important to set boundaries and know when and how to use it. Mindfulness, different meditation styles and happiness apps and podcasts with uplifting content show that technology and gadgets can be beneficial, but making mindful use of technology is also a matter of changing your habits. For example, instead of reaching for your smartphone to take a picture of your food as soon as a plate is put in front of you, take some time to look at the food. Observe how it is presented, think about how it satisfies you, and about how much work has been put into making it reach your table. Likewise, instead of rushing to check your inbox every time a mail notification pops up on your screen, take a deep breath, pause, check in with yourself, and decide if it's worth responding now or later. RELATED: Mindful people are happier due to clearer authenticity Like all other positive emotions, everyday engagement has to be cultivated. Trying to incorporate these seven tips on mindfulness into daily tasks will bring you a collection of memorable thoughts and moments that enrich your life and make it more pleasurable. And, ultimately, these enriching daily activities will allow you to live your life to the full and not just go through it. ● Main image: shutterstock/lolostock happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Motivation | Keys to Happiness | Lemonading Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
  8. Rejection can be observed as simple as compatible energy. The two energies are not cohesive. When rejected we tend to absorb the others negative energy and make it our own. Staying in the present moment vs the past and the future, helps ground us that we may observe the process and not allow anger, disappointment and fear to lead our thoughts.
  9. A soothing music or a simple rain can help too. I usually love listening to this
  10. Could you be stuck in the happiness trap? Trying to pursue joy at all times? If so, it's time to stop. From practising gratitude to reaffirming your values, these five science-backed tips from Ed Gould will help you to become satisfied with how your life already is. Accepting that you feel happy enough, as opposed to constantly pursuing an idea of what happiness might be, is the route many now choose to discover greater well-being. Indeed, this is the key idea behind escaping the so-called 'happiness trap'. Remember that old REM hit, Shiny Happy People? In it, the lyrics encouraged you to put “it in your heart” where “tomorrow” and “gold and silver shine”. OK, let's not set too much store by a pop song, but it illustrates something important about modern culture: happiness seems to be shiny, attractive and – like gold and silver – material. Now, a jangly pop anthem may not be the best route to understanding what happiness is, but it does suggest the way many people still think about it. However, the pursuit of happiness can often lead us in the wrong direction. This is what today's psychologists refer to as the happiness trap. Let's have a look at what it is exactly, how you can identify the extent to which you might have fallen into it and – perhaps most importantly of all – the five main ways you can escape the happiness trap. The misguided pursuit of happiness According to Greek philosopher Aristotle, happiness involves activity and exhibiting virtue, but the word he chose to describe it was 'eudaimonia'. Often translated as 'happiness', this term is probably better described as 'human flourishing'. We seem quite removed from that sentiment when you consider how contemporary mass culture depicts happiness. Think of all the happy messages the mainstream media bombards us with to begin with. Indeed, ask yourself how many times a day that you might hear that you can be happy – will be happy, even – if only you choose these clothes, that form of transportation or those beauty products. Don't shop 'til your drop: escape the consumerism happiness trap There again, the pursuit of happiness might be marketed as being concurrent with the pursuit of other goals. For example, you may have heard you'll be happy if you pursue your youth – with an anti-wrinkle cream, of course. Or that you'll be happy if you pursue greater wealth by choosing one investment product over another. However, eudaimonia has little to do with any of that. Over the ages, spiritual leaders such as the Dalai Lama have taught us to abandon the relationship between happiness and material wealth. Bear in mind that it's not so much that increased material wealth won't bring you some sort of happiness or temporary life improvement, rather than the detriment it can cause to your perception of happiness. “Escape the happiness trap by setting aside time to recall moments of gratitude. Keep an eye on what really contributes to your happiness.” And although the current generation of Westerners are, by and large, richer than ever before, the variation of how people perceive their level of happiness is still high, to say the least. The happiness trap: what is it exactly? Feeling unhappy with life is perfectly natural and we all go through ups and downs with our mental health from time to time. However, a general malaise in your sense of happiness may reveal that you are, indeed, stuck in the happiness trap. Furthermore, if you think your personal happiness ties in with the images you might see on TV or in lifestyle magazines, then that's another sure sign. Equally, if you're constantly comparing the level of happiness you feel with that which you perceive in your friends, family, neighbours and colleagues – known as 'keeping up with the Joneses' – then this may also indicate your entrapment of a false perception of happiness. Escaping the happiness trap: 5 strategies Identifying and accepting the state of being happy enough is the key to escaping the happiness trap. If you feel happy enough, then you won't feel the need to carry on pursuing the false idols of materialism. However, deciding to feel happy enough may be easier said than done given our materialistic culture. Indeed, a 2003 psychological study by Schooler, Airey and Loewenstein suggested that pursuing happiness as a goal was doomed to failure anyway. RELATED: Money can't buy happiness (except when you spend it like this) Thankfully, Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky and others offer some useful cognitive and behavioural tips that offer you the best chance of avoiding that empty sensation of not feeling happy enough. So, here are five key techniques you can employ to help you escape the happiness trap. 1. Positive mentality strategies Writing can have a beneficial effect on the way we think about a range of circumstances, including the way we feel about happiness. However, it's not the only positive mental strategy that you can use in a self-regulatory manner. Positive thinking about oneself can come in other reflective forms. Take a look back through old photos of heart-warming and cheerful life events. Or you might prefer to talk about your happiest and unhappiest moments in life with a loved one. RELATED: Future self journaling Another possibility is to have a discussion about your life goals for the future with your partner or a trusted friend. By focusing positivity in this way, you naturally engage less with shorter term aspirations and material objectives. Escape the happiness trap with family time shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 2. Set aside time for gratitude With so much that contributes to modern life pointing you towards the happiness trap, it's a good (and simple) idea to set aside time to recall moments of gratitude. By doing this regularly, you're much better positioned to see past the short-term nature of such messages and to keep an eye on what really contributes to your happiness. For instance, keep a gratitude journal where you count your blessings, such as the love of people close to you or your general health. In addition, writing letters of gratitude can help to reorientate your perspective on what really counts. There's something about the mental activity that goes on during the act of writing that helps to rebalance our cognitive processes and application of this can shape your feelings surrounding happiness. RELATED: The attitude of gratitude – 6 reasons how it will change your life 3. Be altruistic Studies have shown that practising altruism can help you to feel more satisfied and enable you to find happiness. Helping you to understand what is good about your life, altruistic acts are also of benefit to their recipient. Simply making the decision to be kinder and more understanding in your everyday interactions is a good first step. Once you start practising altruism regularly, you'll soon start feeling the power of kindness. “The pursuit of happiness can lead us in the wrong direction. This is what today's psychologists refer to as the happiness trap.” You might consider doing something practical, too, such as donating your blood. Or, by routinely committing to random acts of kindness or trying to make a loved one happy, you'll end up feeling more empowered about how happy you feel and less reliant on what other people think about you. The happiness trap: evolution of the human mind © YouTube/Dr. Russ Harris 4. Reaffirmation of your values Refocussing on your most important values is another key step in accepting the level of happiness you feel. Think of it like restating your marriage vows – if you ever made them, that is – as a means of getting back to basics. By reaffirming the true person that you are, it becomes possible to shake off sometimes years of misguided happiness that has become more and more reliant on a false idea of perfection: one that's modelled on an 'ideal' life as depicted in modern culture so much. Take a step back to focus on what makes you tick and reaffirm your commitment to it. 5. Savour every moment of life By taking the time to savour positive experiences in life, rather than rushing on hedonistically to the next chance of happiness, you're more likely to enjoy the moment. Think of a greedy diner who, enjoying their food, gulps it all down rapidly only to feel disappointed quickly afterwards, compared with someone who savours every mouthful. Both will consume the same amount of food but gain very different experiences from their meal. So, take your time and slow down. See the whole picture. Be mindful about everything. Focus on the positivity of any given situation in order to feel happier in yourself. The happiness trap: conclusions Modern life and the pursuit of joy makes it easy for humans to get stuck in the happiness trap. And, in this era of social media, it's harder to escape comparing your life, experiences and possessions with that of your friends or complete strangers. But, by following our tips based around CBT, you can start to reframe your thoughts and activities to become more satisfied with what you have in life, and – more importantly – who you are. ● Main image: shutterstock/Rawpixel.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Coaching | Acceptance | Learning | Self-care Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's also a practitioner of Reiki.
  11. Ofcourse. So let me share in brief the meditation technique. 5 things to consider before you start meditating (not hard and fast rules but just what I follow) 1. Keep gap of minimum 2 hours after eating and stick to vegetarian food. 2. Preferably have a shower or ensure you are not facing any itching or any allergies. 3. Make sure you are not having a bad cold or fever or any kind of severe pain. 4. Not to have any stressful activity or in arguments with anyone. 5. Not to engage in any other religious or spiritual activities such as Yoga or other forms of meditation. 5 things to consider after meditation (Living a Neutral lifestyle) 1. Avoid getting into arguments or stressful situations as much as possible. 2. Avoid eating meat and over eating and wasting food. Please donate extra food. 3. Avoid judging others or passing judgments. 4. Be empathic to people around you and offer care and help those in desperate need. 5. Avoid getting into new addictions and attachments. Morning Affirmations (after ending meditation) I wish that I am protected from all evil eyes, evil people, negative thoughts and negative energies. I wish that I have good health and a long and healthy life and recover from any illness that I may suffer or suffering. I wish that I am protected from all natural and man-made calamities and any unfortunate events or accidents. I wish that I arrive at my destination safely and reach my home safely. I wish that I am able to manifest all that is positive or neutral for myself and others around me and able to focus and be successful in whatever I wish to undertake. Evening Affirmations (before going to sleep) I thank the source for guiding me through the day, helping me focus on myself and protecting my body and my soul. I allow the source to support me in my manifestations through my subconscious mind in my sleep. I wish to wake up in sound mind and good health with my soul and body under the protection of the source. Meditation (Day 1 & 2) Before breakfast on empty stomach after shower Mind Taming Exercise: Breath Awareness Meditation (5 minutes) This is a simple form of meditation. It will clear your mind and focus your awareness. Sit or lie down, close your eyes focused on one particular thing a person or object that ensures any other external thoughts do not enter your mind. It is a good practice to start the first day by taking the help of a source of positive energy such as an image of God or a saint or an angel or anything you feel is a source of positive energy. If you are an atheist then you can focus on your own body at the centre of your forehead or something from nature. As long it signifies positive or neutral energy. You can also listen to some light spiritual music and breathe deeply in and slowly out and focus on the breath entering and leaving your body. Feel it coming in and feel it going out. This simple action is enough to occupy your surface mind. Breath awareness occupies the surface mind and allows you to think on a much deeper level. Firmly push intruding thoughts away, as they begin, before they can gather strength and distract you. End the meditation with folded hands making your morning affirmations. Evening after sunset and 2 hours after meal or dinner Ego Release exercise: Getting detached meditation (10 minutes) Sit or lie down, close your eyes. PRETEND you are a bird imaging your hands as the wings of a bird flying higher and higher. Free from the ground, the earth, the reality, letting go of your physical existence. While you are doing this, you may feel sleepy or tears rolling down your eyes. Do not break the meditation and be attentive with the mind focused on your hands and body. End the meditation with folded hands releasing your ego from your conscious being and making your evening affirmations. Meditation (Day 3 & 4) Before breakfast on empty stomach after shower Rejuvenation Exercise: Self Awareness Meditation (5 minutes) As in Day 1 and Day 2 you will b e focusing on clearing your mind. But in day 3 and 4, you should try to focus your own self, your body and what you want from life in general. Such as your positive desires and goals in life. You can also listen to some light spiritual music and breathe deeply in and slowly out and focus on the breath entering and leaving your body imagining your own image or desires. Feel it coming in and feel it going out. Make sure that your mind is occupied with yourself, you inner and outer self. Firmly push intruding thoughts away, as they begin, before they can gather strength and distract you. End the meditation with folded hands making your morning affirmations. Evening after sunset and 2 hours after meal or dinner Energy Work exercise: Accessing Neutral Energy (10 minutes) Sit or lie down, close your eyes. Focus on your own image on the left and the source of positive energy on the right. If you are an atheist then you can focus on your own body at the centre of your forehead or something from nature. As long it signifies positive or neutral energy. You can also listen to some light spiritual music and breathe deeply and slowly and focus on the breath entering and leaving your body. While you are doing this, you may notice brightness in your eyes. Do not resist it. Allow it to reach within you. Then spread your hands all over your body to spread the energy all over you. Repeat this exercise three to four times so you receive as much energy as you need to remove all the negativity around you that has been accumulated and release your soul. End the meditation with folded hands making your evening affirmations. Meditation (Day 5 & 6) Before breakfast on empty stomach after shower Love affirmation Exercise: Social Awareness Meditation (5 minutes) In these two days you will be trying to clear your mind and focus the people you love and care about. Sit or lie down, close your eyes. So you begin first by focusing outwards on the people you love such as your friends and family or the society you live in, your environment, your country or the world in general. You can also listen to some light spiritual music and breathe deeply and slowly and focus on the breath entering and leaving your body. As your breathe in, think of a loved one and imagine hugging the person as your breathe out. Firmly push intruding thoughts away, as they begin, before they can gather strength and distract you. End the meditation with folded hands making your morning affirmations. Evening after sunset and 2 hours after meal or dinner Energy Work exercise: Transferring Neutral Energy (10 minutes) Sit or lie down, close your eyes. You can also listen to some light spiritual music and breathe deeply in and slowly breathe out focusing on the image of a loved one on the left and the source of positive energy on the right. If you are an atheist then you can focus on your own body at the centre of your forehead or something from nature. As long it signifies positive or neutral energy. Repeat this exercise for each person whom you wish to transfer the energy to and then in the end, spread your hands all over your body to spread the remaining energy all over you. End the meditation with folded hands making your evening affirmations. Meditation (Day 7 onwards) After completing Day 1 to Day 6 successfully and achieving complete silence of the mind, one can start practicing Neu Energy Meditation which is very intense and requires guidance and protection from the trainer for the first few sessions. So I cannot share the technique openly here. But will see if I can attach a live video my practicing this meditation. For details please message me personally. I am ready to teach this intense meditation to those interested but only if the learner meets the conditions for the practice. Note for Admin/Moderators: Was unable to embed the meditation video with MP4 format.
  12. Yes I started living a simple or I would call it a Neutral life some 8 years ago. I started by first getting rid of my addictions. Being a geek that I am, I had this urge always to get the latest gadget out there. And I let go off this addiction in 2012. Now, if I buy a gadget it is more for utilitarian application then for peer pressure. The other addition that I had was eating and I simply could not resist what I LOVED. Be it creamy pastries or street food. I decided that I need to eat to live and not live to eat and certainly not waste food. I had long given up meat and fish and plants are also alive so I started eating on as much as I need to live and be healthy and never waste food. The third thing that I loved was fast cars and at one time I had 2 and if I had continued down this path would have had many more. But as I awakened and decided to follow a neutral life, Uber came along and many other share riding services so getting a car that will only add to the environmental mess was not something part of neutral lifestyle. I sold both my cars and started walking as much as I can and taking to public transportation for longer distances and if I need to go somewhere in a huff hike on a bike. The final thing that made my life simpler was stop thinking just about myself and think about the rest of the people around me. Do I need to have all these things when others are barely able to survive. My soul which had already woke up and buzzing me all day with directions on a neutral lifestyle made sure I gave more to others then take from them. That made my life so much simpler. No expectations. No attachments. Not so many desires. Yes some do remain such as using the computer, using a cellphone and my love for travel. But living a simple neutral life does not mean giving away everything. It is about living with loving your own self and others including nature and all that is part of it.
  13. Very simple .. every day is a new day .. why to live in prison when the gates n doors are wide open . Smile plz ☺
  14. Over the last week, I've been introduced to some extraordinary tools that have been absolutely vital in my own personal pursuit and I'd like to share these tools with you. What does happiness truly look like? For myself, I am happy in improving my life at the moment. That has been my main focus right now. I'm still struggling to define what sorts of actions make me happy, but for now, diving into my psychology and doing the things necessary to improve myself, brings me happiness. For example, I'm just now getting into a program that is going ot help me pay back my college loans that are currently in default. The whole program will take 9 months to get me out of default status and a further 2 years to eliminate my owed debt entirely. I often find myself being impatient with this, however. 9 months is a long time and I really want to get back into school, I'm looking to take up welding as a profession. Enter the first tool I've recently learned Patience. A lot of the things that bother me are not in my control at this moment and that's ok. The general idea is to try to moderate your emotional investment. The hardest part of every journey is the very beginning and often times we tend to quit just before hitting the knee of the growth curve. This is because we emotionally exhaust ourselves and by the time we are just a few days, a few weeks maybe, away from that knee of the curve, that we just simply are drained completely and just quit. But had we taken the time to apply the principles of patience, the return would vastly outweigh the initial investment. So if you are struggling with this area like I do. Try asking yourself these 3 questions, apply them to your own specific circumstances. 1. What does a lazy approach look like in this endeavor? Could be school, a relationship, work, self actualization, maybe you're depressed and anxious and you're just wanting those results. So ask yourself, what a lazy approach would look like. To be lazy would be to do nothing, right? You're not putting in the effort, you're not doing the work etc. 2. What does an impatient approach look like in this endeavor? We all get impatient. It's only natural. We want results and we want them now. But that is a double edged sword. You can end up causing more harm than good. Maybe you're trying to take on ALL the tasks, maybe you're trying to cramp ALL the information, trying to do ALL the work. But you have to allow yourself to moderate how you invest your energy. Take the time to do each step, apply each step, learn each step etc. 80-90% of the emotional labor of any endeavor is going to be in those beginning phases and you're not going to see much growth. You'll see tiny bits of growth here and there. You gotta learn to appreciate those tiny growths and stop looking at the end result as an ends to a means. 3. What does a wise approach look like in this endeavor? So exactly what does this mean? How do we know what a wise approach is? It's actually pretty simple. A wise approach is giving yourself the time to grow, even when the growth doesn't seem to actually be there. Find it, appreciate it, enjoy it. Are you working towards that great relationship that's going to last the rest of your life? Are you writing a book that could change humanity? Are you starting your own business? Are you doing personal development? Any of these things and more are going to take time. It's going to take consistent effort on your part and your job is to try to make the best of the hardest parts of that journey. Ask yourself a few follow up questions. 1. Would this endeavor be worth it, if it took 4x as long as you initially planned? 2. Would this endeavor be worth it, if it took 100 to 1000 times the emotional investment as you planned? If you're working on something like meditation, mastering your emotions, chasing that wonderful relationship, starting your own business, writing a book etc. The answer to both of these questions should be yes. It is absolutely worth the investment because when it comes time to reap the rewards, it's going to be far surpassing anything you had conceived. If the answer is no, perhaps you're either not invested and maybe that project isn't for you, or perhaps it could be your own neurotic mindset, getting in your way. You have to be the judge on that. Moving forward there are 5 simple things that you need to stop allowing to influence your happiness. Just bear in mind, this works hand in hand with the previous tool. Results aren't going to be immediate and that's ok. 1. Your past We all have a past and it can sometimes be pretty murky at best. This includes things others have done to hurt you, things you've done to hurt others, things you've done to hurt yourself, bad choices and mistakes, all the things that made you who you are. You are not those things, you are you. So stop labeling yourself with the ghosts of the past. 2. Your relationships This could be friendships, relationships, family etc. This doesn't mean that any of these things were bad or are bad. Maybe you've had wonderful relations with pretty much everyone you know. It's still equally important to not base your happiness around those relationships. Relying on others to provide our happiness for us is a very clingy and neurotic way of living and chances are, it will ruin that relationship. 3. Your own limited beliefs Have you ever criticized yourself? Said "there's no way I can do that"? Having realistic expectations of what you expect from life is good, but when you begin to say you cannot because of past experience or because of some arbitrary limitation you put on yourself, it becomes an issue. Say for example, you're an introvert that wants to make friends. A stereotypical label that you might put on yourself is that it's not in your nature to make friends or that you can't have friends because of that introverted nature. Let go of that. Maybe you think you won't get that job because you view yourself as a failure. Maybe you feel like you won't get that job because you're not good enough. Maybe you feel like your business won't succeed because you're not a good leader. Whatever it is that you put on yourself. Maybe you think you can't succeed because of your physical appearance or your gender or your skin color. All of these are self defining labels that cause so much detriment in our lives. 4. Other people's opinions of you Just as equally as the way we label ourselves, if we allow others to tell us who we are or what we can be, it is that same detrimental outcome as if we had labeled ourselves, because we are in a sense. We accept the labels that other people put on us. The goal is to stop doing that. Even when they do so with good intentions. 5. Money We all know that money makes the world go round. But the illusive chase of just money is a cold and primal way of living often leaving a person to appear as cold and heartless. I'm not saying to just go and quit your job or that money is evil. What I'm saying is that money shouldn't be the ONLY motivator in your life. It's reasonable to want to be capable of sustaining yourself, a family, having the possessions you want and all that. Just don't be so focused on it that you lose sight of everything else. It's the easiest, fastest track to a toxic life. So that's it! Now the only objective left is to find what actually makes you happy. Go out and try new things, pick up a new hobby, give it 4 weeks. Be patient and approach it as though you want to enjoy it, because that is the purpose of this whole endeavor after all. Not everything is going to strike your fancy and that's ok, at least you tried and now you know.
  15. I do hope i have added this in correct area of the forum If Admin feel it is in wrong thread it is of course ok to move this thread Brief Introduction to Falun Dafa Falun Dafa (also called Falun Gong) is an advanced practice of Buddha school self-cultivation, founded by Mr. Li Hongzhi, the practice’s master. It is a discipline in which “assimilation to the highest qualities of the universe—Zhen, Shan, Ren (Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance)—is the foundation of practice. Practice is guided by these supreme qualities, and based on the very laws which underlie the development of the cosmos.” Master Li’s teachings are set forth in a number of texts, among which are included Falun Gong, Zhuan Falun, The Great Perfection Way of Falun Dafa, Essentials for Further Advancement, and Hong Yin (The Grand Verses). These and other works have been translated into over forty languages, and are published and distributed worldwide. The focus of Falun Dafa practice is the mind, with the cultivation of one’s mind and thoughts, or “Xinxing,” being singled out as the key to increasing Gong energy. The height of a person’s Gong is directly proportionate to that of his Xinxing. The concept of “Xinxing” encompasses the transformation of virtue (a white form of matter) and karma (a black form of matter). It also includes forbearance, discernment, and abandonment—that is, forsaking ordinary human desires and attachments, and managing to endure the most trying of ordeals. Much is encompassed by the concept. Falun Dafa also includes the cultivation of the body, which is accomplished by performing specific exercises. One purpose of the exercises is to strengthen the practitioner’s supernatural abilities and energy mechanisms by means of his or her powerful Gong force. Another purpose is to develop many living entities in the practitioner’s body. In advanced practice, the Immortal Infant will come into being and many abilities will be developed. The exercises of Falun Dafa are necessary for the transformation and cultivation of such things. A comprehensive mind-body cultivation system such as this requires both self-cultivation and physical exercises, with cultivation taking priority over exercises. A person’s Gong simply will not increase if he or she merely does exercises while failing to cultivate Xinxing. The exercises are thus a supplemental means to achieving spiritual perfection. Falun Dafa involves the cultivation of a Falun, or “law wheel.” The Falun is an intelligent, rotating entity composed of high-energy matter. The Falun that Master Li Hongzhi plants in a practitioner’s lower abdomen from other dimensions rotates constantly, twenty-four hours a day. (True cultivators can acquire a Falun by reading Master Li’s books, watching his 9-session lectures on video, listening to recordings of his 9-session lectures, or studying together with students of Falun Dafa.) The Falun helps practitioners to practice automatically. That is, the Falun refines the practitioner at all times, even though he or she isn’t performing the exercises at every moment. Of all practices made public in the world today, only Falun Dafa has managed to achieve a state in which, “the Fa refines the person.” The rotating Falun has the same qualities as the universe, and is the universe’s miniature. The Buddhist Falun, the Daoist Yin-Yang, and everything of the Ten-Directional World are reflected in the Falun. The Falun provides salvation to the practitioner when it rotates inward (clockwise), since it absorbs a great amount of energy from the universe and transforms it into Gong energy. The Falun provides salvation to others when rotating outward (counter-clockwise), for it releases energy that can save any being and rectify any abnormal condition. Being in the presence of someone who practices thus benefits a person. Falun Dafa “brings a person to a state of wisdom and harmonious existence. The movements of the practice are concise, as a great way is extremely simple and easy.” Falun Dafa is unique in eight ways: 1. A Falun is cultivated, rather than an energy elixir. 2. The Falun refines the person even when he or she is not doing the practice’s exercises. 3. One’s primary consciousness is cultivated, such that it is the person him or herself who obtains Gong energy. 4. Both mind and body are cultivated. 5. The practice consists of five exercises, which are simple and easy to learn. 6. The mind is not used to direct anything, there are no associated risks, and Gong energy increases quickly. 7. Location, time, and direction are not of concern when exercising, nor is how one concludes one’s exercise session. 8. Protection is provided by the master's Fashen, so one needn’t fear harm from malevolent entities. The teachings of Falun Dafa are thus completely unlike those of conventional practice methods or those that are based on the development of an internal elixir, or Dan. Falun Dafa practice begins at a high plane right from the outset, thus providing the most expedient, fast, ideal, and precious means of practice for those with a predestined connection or who have been practicing for years using other means but failed to develop Gong. When a practitioner’s Xinxing and the strength of his Gong reach a certain height, he or she can attain an imperishable, adamantine body while still in the secular world. A person can also achieve the “unlocking of Gong,” enlightenment, and ascension of the whole person to higher planes. Those with great determination should study this upright teaching, strive to achieve their ultimate rank, elevate their Xinxing, and forsake their attachments. Only then is spiritual perfection possible. May you cherish it—the Buddha Fa is right before you. Since I, Amanaki adding this info that come from the Falun Gong official site, this thread is not my own Words. and when questions is asked, it would be good if they are asked in a respectful manner, and letting me be able to answer Your question in a respectful manner back to you There are many rummors out there about Falun Gong, But if you want more true answer about this form of practice i would advie to read about Falun Gong or Falun dafa as it is also know as. on this two sites (hope it is ok to add website links here, if not Admin can remove the links) https://en.falundafa.org/index.html https://en.minghui.org/
  16. Hello Friends, Since it is the new year and a time that many people choose to refine and change their life goals, I would like to recommend to you some ideas and tools related to mind mapping. I am very much a visual thinker, but also I am very detail oriented. I have a hard time in my head of translating the fine details or the small goals into the bigger picture of where I am going. For me, this makes a very difficult and sometimes confused bog of too many ideas for me to sort out. I also tend to be a little hypomanic in my idea creation, so you can only imagine maybe the inspired ideas that I have which are fractured by scattered energy if I cannot put myself on a course of solid direction and keep finding my way back to that path. A mind map is a way of connecting ideas. It's a great way to brainstorm or turn the seed of an idea into a plan. It's a wonderful tool for writers to organize stories. Mind maps can be tools of collaboration for managers and creative business people. Here are a few examples of companies that offer websites and or apps. But there are dozens of free and paid apps for this purpose. A good example of a career which uses mind maps is the film industry and it's usage of story boards. A mind map can be as simple as cut out pictures or text from a magazine used to create a vision board which is a very specific kind of mind map, or very intricate ones with multiple levels such as those that organize the plot of a novel. Many of the websites and apps offer free templates if it is hard for you to get started. Here is an example (see pic below) which is a life plan template I made on the website mindmeister. But they can be a simple list of goals with or without pictures. I take the plan I have created each year and revise it. I am sure to mark for my own satisfaction things which I have completed. What I have found is that when you are stuck in a rut of feeling like you are going nowhere, that just having short, medium, and long ranged (even crazy unrealistic long range) plans acts like ”The Power of Positive Thinking” or a subconscious influence on our direction.
  17. I'm no pro at all. But maybe its tense because you are only focusing on your breathe. At first, I found the body scan easy. Which didnt make sense because the sitting meditation is so simple. But maybe simple is hard. I hope it gets easier for you.
  18. Dear,one don't die to the person who is not ledy to die for you , do this you will thanks me 1.Ignore him 2. Find something which will keep you busy 3.Don't talk to him about his behavior 4. Focus with your children 5. Some times take your self out , dress well, 6. Change in everything iven if you find message in his phone , or he with another women don't ask him , don't react , bat show him that you know and you gave seen , this is only way for you to be happy , if he loves you will see his behavior changing and trying to be close to you bcz he will think that you have another Man out , Don't give up bat make him to pay what he has done by tears ,Don't live you Marriage for another Women, for those prostitute Don't surrender bcz that it is War , we never surrender war just simple like that . he will be the first to surrender.🚪🏃💨
  19. In this new year 🎉, I will work hard in order to get my land even is not simple but I will keep trying and May God help me to accomplish
  20. Tired of negative news? These feel-good stories from November highlight the positive things happening in the world. Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up from the month. November was full of feel-good news. If you thought that there was too little happiness and not enough to cheer you in the mainstream news outlets, then read on to discover some of the positive stories you may have missed. 1. Police use mindfulness techniques to help officers According to the i newspaper, five constabularies in the UK have been trialling mindfulness training in order to prevent burnout and to boost officer retention. The training is there to save money in recruitment and training costs in the long run but the other benefits of mindfulness may mean that it's soon extended to other police forces. 2. Steel made without fossil fuels in world first Although steel is needed for many renewable energy products, it's carbon-intensive to make, usually requiring coal to be burned to generate enough energy. In a global first, an Austrian steel-making firm has powered its furnaces entirely from hydrogen – a clean source of fuel. According to Manufacturers' Monthly, a consortium of partners developed the project along with €18 million of EU public funding. 3. Whale species faring better than expected Not that long ago, the humpback whale was close to extinction. The species tends to inhabit the southern Atlantic but is found elsewhere these days, too, as its numbers have grown. Scientists now estimate that the largest breeding group currently numbers around 25,000 individuals, a surprisingly large figure given how low it had previously dropped. Conservationists say that this attests to the success of bans on commercial whaling. It's thought that current methods of estimating whale numbers are more accurate than ever before because it's done with technologies deployed in the air as well as at sea. It's (hump) back: this whale species is on the rise shutterstock/Chris Holman 4. Bacteria harnessed to help climate change In feel-good news for anyone who thinks that carbon capture technology will help to save the planet from the worst outcomes of climate change, scientists have altered the DNA of a bacteria so that it survives solely by consuming carbon dioxide. According to the Independent, Israeli researchers have altered E-coli so that it can consume CO2 in a similar manner to plants! RELATED: Feel-good news from October 5. Canada pushes for green aviation fuel According to Renewables Now, a non-profit group called the Green Aviation Research and Development Network – funded by the Canadian government and the aerospace industry – has launched a new project designed to augment the supply of sustainable aviation fuel in the country. The so-called BioPortYVR project will set up regional supply chains so that biofuel can be made in the country without relying on imports. 6. Playing games helps thinking, study finds Scientific research conducted over decades has found that playing board games which involve memory and problem solving can help you to retain thinking skills in old age. Psychologists from the University of Edinburgh studied over 1,000 people in their 70s to come up with the findings which focussed on non-digital games such as bingo, chess, cards and crosswords. University of Edinburgh's Dr Drew Altschul said: “These latest findings add to evidence that being more engaged in activities during life might be associated with better thinking skills in later life.” RELATED: Cognitive impairment – 5 ways to reduce the risk as you age Game on: playing chess could help retain thinking skills shutterstock/Freeograph 7. Simple test for breast cancer could be a game-changer Although screening for breast cancer is common, medical researchers have long sought a simpler and more reliable solution. According to The Guardian, a simple blood test could replace the current method and provide an accurate idea of whether the disease is present in women five years ahead of it becoming noticeable. A team from Nottingham University’s School of Medicine looked into the presence of antigens in the blood to make predictions about clinical signs of breast cancer later becoming apparent. Their findings were presented at a national cancer conference in Glasgow in November, and the team successfully spotted the condition in a number of women in their sample group and were also able to show when it was not present accurately, too. 8. New hope for endangered gharials A type of crocodile has been discovered in Nepal, an area where it was thought to have been wiped out, according to reports from the BBC. The gharial is a species that resembles a crocodile with a large snout, and it has few places in the world where its habitat is still suitable. The discovery of around 100 hatchlings of this endangered species has therefore brought a great deal of happiness to conservationists in Asia looking to protect them. A member of the Zoological Society of London found the baby reptiles basking in the sun in Nepal's Bardia National Park. RELATED: Feel-good news from September 9. Audio used to breathe new life into coral reefs Researchers have long been worried about the prospects for coral reefs under the challenge of global warming. However, so-called dead patches of corals are being brought back to life by playing sounds via underwater speakers. Australian scientists are using the audio associated with healthy coral reefs to lure fish back to them. This can then kickstart the ecosystem and lead to a revival, according to reports in the Daily Mail. Sounds great: music is helping a coral comeback 10. UK museum returns items to indigenous Australian communities So-called restorative justice is a big talking point in the museum sector these days but it rarely happens. However, in a significant move that could lead to more museums following suit, the Manchester Museum has decided to return dozens of artefacts to the descendants of their original owners. The museum held a ceremony in which around 40 sacred and ceremonial items were handed back to representatives of several indigenous Australian communities. As reported by Museum Next, the repatriation of these items coincided with the 250th anniversary of Captain James Cook's first European voyage to Australia. ● Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.
  21. In the new year many of us resolve to break bad habits and replace them with healthy ones. However, we often relapse quickly back into our old behaviour. Arlo Laibowitz explains how you can change this cycle, maintaining those healthy habits for longer and staying happier. Quitting smoking. Keeping a gratitude journal. Developing a mindfulness practice. Whether we want to break certain bad habits or create newer, healthy ones, the process can be complicated. Indeed, most of us have made resolutions to break bad habits in the past only to fall back into old patterns. So, how do we change this cycle? How do habits work? And what are the elements needed to break bad habits and create healthier ones? Well, popular belief has it that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. However, a study from University College London has shown that, in fact, it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days, depending on the complexity of the habit. Check out our video below for an explanation on how to break and create habits and continue reading the article for more tips. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Learn how to create healthy habits... and break destructive ones How are habits formed exactly? Habits are formed by the so-called 'habit loop'. The habit loop consists of: The Reminder (the trigger of the behavior). The Routine (the behaviour itself). The Reward (the benefit of the behaviour). So, to develop a healthy habit, do the following: Identify the routine around the habit. Isolate the cue or reminder that triggers the behaviour. Create behaviour chains and choose a (new) reminder. Create two lists; things you do every day, and things that happen to you each day. These lists will show you where and how to insert a new habit, in an “if-then” plan. Eliminate excessive options. Identify aspects of your life that you consider not that important, and then routinize those aspects, so that you have mental energy left to work on your habits. Choose a healthy habit that's easy to start with. Big changes in life happen as a product of daily habits, not the other way around. RELATED: Happy habits – 12 ways to boost joy daily Experiment with rewards. Create success and positive feedback loops when accomplishing your growing healthy habit for that day. Develop healthier habits with these nine steps shutterstock/becarra Make micro quotas and macro goals. Balance your desire-to-dream-big-goals with your day-to-day activities and possible quotas to get to your goals. When monitoring your habit, consider using tracking apps, or using a simple “yes-no-chart” that tracks how many days you have engaged in the healthy habit. Make a solid plan on how to break bad habits or create healthy ones and how to monitor them. Visualise the process instead of the outcome. Eliminate the “what the hell efect” or “ah-screw-its”. Find where things are susceptible to break down, and consider including an “if-then” plan to mitigate these moments. Studies have shown that certain healthy habits like making your bed, exercising, or keeping a journal, can keystone other habits. So, recognize a keystone habit that works for you, and use it to develop other healthy habits. Avoid falling back into bad habits To avoid falling back into our bad habits, or not succeeding in creating new, healthier ones, it's essential to recognise and counteract loopholes, like false choice loopholes, tomorrow loopholes, this-doesn’t count loopholes, fake self-actualisation loopholes, or one-time loopholes. “Choose a healthy habit that's easy to start with. Big changes in life happen as a product of daily habits, not the other way around.” Recognize these kinds of loopholes and counter them with “if-then” plans to strengthen your automaticity. Ultimately, breaking or creating habits help us in living the life we want to live. As author Gretchen Rubin put it, habits are “the invisible architecture of every life and a significant element of happiness.” Whether it's gratitude, mindfulness, connection, forgiveness, compassion, or any other happiness practice you seek to work on, the key is to form and sustain healthy habits. So, why not start with one today? ● What are the bad habits you want to break and what healthy ones do you want to replace them with? And how have you managed to break any bad habits successfully? Share your ideas with the happiness.com community below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Goal setting | Happiness | Healthy habits Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.
  22. The difference of negative and positive mindset is so infinitesimal. However it can be differentiated by simple two things... the mind that thinks about only himself is a negative one, and the mindset that thinks about the world is positive.... More intense one's thought about himself, more he is negative. Bigger and deeper he thinks about the world, more is his positivism - isn't that simple?
  23. Science says that showing kindness to others can boost our physical health and psychological well-being. Sonia Vadlamani offers nine suggestions on how to be a nicer person by incorporating more compassion, politeness and kindness into our daily lives. The idea of purposefully learning how to be nicer may make some of us cringe, as sometimes we may confuse ‘being nice’ with pretending to be polite or feigning interest for the sake of seeming acceptable. This ‘induced niceness’ may, in fact, get quite burdensome very quickly, as it requires additional effort on one’s behalf to seem something they’re not feeling genuinely. However, in reality, nicer people are easier to be around, as they’re genuinely interested in what you think and do. Being nice translates into treating others as you may want to be treated, being empathic, anticipating and respecting others’ needs and feelings, and being kind. While it may be difficult to exactly define ‘niceness’, psychologists rely on the personality traits that we associate with it, like kindness, politeness, empathy, and thoughtfulness, etc. Researchers also point out that the major personality traits associated with ‘agreeableness’ such as kindness, compassion and politeness are also the aspects that we often consider as ‘being nice’. The benefits of being nice Being a nicer person entails prosocial behaviors such as extending kindness, sharing our happiness, respecting others’ vantage point on different issues, etc, which promote well-being and boost social connections. However, research suggests that being nice to others can benefit our mental health and boost longevity as well. In fact, showing kindness to others results in the release of happiness hormones such as oxytocin, which can improve heart health, regulate blood pressure, and foster a greater sense of inclusion, according to researcher James Doty, M.D. at Stanford University. How to be nicer: show kindness through helping those in need Being nice by way of kindness may also alleviate stress and offer faster relief from pain, as research indicates. Furthermore, niceness can also lower anxiety and boost relationship satisfaction for socially anxious individuals. How to be nicer: 9 ideas for kindness Indeed, being nice may not always be the easier choice. However, with mindfulness and dedicated practice, it’s possible to learn how to be a friendlier person and show more kindness to others. Here are nine simple ideas that can help us incorporate kindness into our daily life, helping us to become a nicer person. 1. Have more patience A study by researcher Sarah A. Schnitker suggests that patient people are better friends and neighbours, as they tend to be more impartial, more attentive and have a higher tolerance. Developing mindfulness, or the ability to stay in sync with what is happening in the present moment, can also enable you to reframe a situation, reevaluate your emotions and respond with improved patience, according to research. Practising mindful listening and cultivating patience is therefore one of the surest ways to be a kinder person. 2. Be less judgmental Learning how to be a nicer person may not be the easiest feat, but experts agree that casting judgements aside and learning to transcend our perceived differences through bridging can help us respect other people’s perspectives and acknowledge their viewpoints in a better light. “Research suggests that being nice to others can benefit our mental health and boost longevity. Showing kindness to others releases feel-good hormones.” Engaging in deep listening and positive communication, taking care to avoid social media outrage trap, and a regular meditation practice are some of the research-backed ways to cultivate deep empathy and avoid snap judgments. 3. Look for ways to be helpful Reaching out and anticipating someone’s needs is an effective way to work towards being a nicer person. This can involve small gestures that do not cost a lot but can brighten someone’s day, like offering somebody your seat, or helping someone carry their groceries. Offering support or solicited advice to someone who may be feeling lost in life, dealing with depression, or struggling with grief or loneliness are some other ways to help out and show your friendly side. Volunteering is a great way to be kind to others 4. Open up and show vulnerability Our third tip on how to be nicer relates to vulnerability. Sometimes we shun the opportunity to open up and share our feelings with others, owing to the fear of being judged or compared. Researcher Dr Brené Brown describes this feeling as a vulnerability hangover, wherein one may experience regret or ‘emotional cringe’ upon revealing their feelings or thoughts to others. While vulnerability is mistakenly regarded as a weakness, embracing it as an act of courage and developing shame resilience can help you learn how to be nicer. “Reaching out and anticipating someone’s needs is an effective way to work towards being a nicer person. This can involve small gestures that do not cost a lot but can brighten someone’s day.” "Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center of meaningful human experiences," explains Dr Brown. Being vulnerable enables us to develop radical empathy towards ourselves and others, thus opening us up to the possibility of making new friends and forming meaningful connections. 5. Be polite and respectful You can easily show kindness to others and become a nicer person through small gestures, such as being on time, saying “thank you”, being respectful online, or holding the elevator door open for strangers. These acts of politeness do not involve a lot of effort, but convey a positive tone and genuine interest on your behalf. However, take care to avoid the lure of lying to appear polite, as that would be a violation of trust. Instead, strive towards articulating your thoughts and convey your feelings in an open and honest manner, albeit respectfully. 6. Act with kindness The power of kindness is real, and we seldom forget an act of goodwill bestowed on us, even if we may fail to recall other things. Nice people understand the ‘ripple effect’ that kindness creates, wherein the acts of benevolence inspire more people to extend the same kindness to others around them. You need not go out of your way every time to extend kindness. In fact, one can carry out random acts of kindness like running errands for an elderly neighbor or volunteering for a cause you genuinely care about. Don’t forget to choose kindness every day for yourself as well. After all, you can only truly learn how to be a nicer person through practising self-compassion and self-care. Helping out elderly neighbours is one way to be nicer 7. Practise forgiveness Forgiveness as a character strength can help you be a nicer person, in addition to improving overall well-being, as revealed by researcher Kathi L. Norman. Indeed, our inability to forgive can also result in trust issues and a tendency to self-sabotage relationships. Whether you’ve suffered a minor stumble or a major setback due to someone’s actions, words or thoughts, learning to forgive someone who caused you hurt and replacing these feelings with empathy, compassion and kindness can improve your mental and physical health, in addition to strengthening interpersonal relationships. “While vulnerability is mistakenly regarded as a weakness, embracing it as an act of courage can help you learn how to be nicer.” “Harboring unforgiveness breads negative thoughts,” says Catherine Jackson, a licensed clinical psychologist and neurotherapist. “Decide to let it go and make a plan to never go to bed angry,” she continues. Forgiving is a process and may not happen in a day but can surely improve our capacity for love and happiness. Setting your intention for forgiveness with a mantra like “I forgive you and release you” or “I forgive everyone for everything” can help you let go of the hurt amassed over time. 8. Share your happiness Happiness is contagious, as proven by research, so what easier way to be a nicer person that to share your joy. An evaluation study conducted on 4,739 individuals revealed that our happiness is also determined by the happiness levels of others around us. In fact, sharing our happiness can boost our mood and improve morale, in addition to encouraging fulfilling friendships. It is easier to be a nicer person when you have a positive outlook on life and when you understand that happiness is a choice that you can consciously make each day. 9. Be authentic Authenticity is a valued trait, especially in the current tech-obsessed era where we’re constantly being overwhelmed with the messages of how we ‘ought to’ appear, behave and live in an ideal manner. Cultivating your authentic self by honoring your core values and making your time matter can help you be a nicer person. Being authentic also enables us to treat others the way we want to be treated. Also, embracing our true selves allows us to act gracefully even in the face of criticism or adversity, as we realize our worth fully well. The takeaway: how to be a nicer person Being a nicer person should not mean encouraging a forcible semblance of it or appearing nice. Niceness also doesn’t require you to tolerate behavior that violates your core values or suppress your true feelings for the sake of seeming kind. On the contrary, people who are genuinely nice enjoy being authentic and showing empathy and compassion towards others. Genuine niceness nurtures a circular relationship with happiness. Learning how to be a nicer person can boost our mood and improve well-being, but research also demonstrates that an upbeat state of mind can further enhance our prosocial behavior and help us be nicer and kinder. Indeed, inculcating niceness as a habit is immensely rewarding. So, be nice and show kindess! • Images: shutterstock/DGLimages, shutterstock/Gorondenkoff, shutterstock/Viacheslav Nikolaenko happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Altruism | Compassion | Happiness Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.
  24. Am wondering how you're getting on LilyVanily? Did you try any of the beginner's stuff on YouTube? So much to choose from it can be a bit of a minefield. I have wanted to do yoga for years but struggled with it because I'm not very limber and a bit overweight. Even the videos for bigger girls didn't work for me because those girls were wonderfully fit and I'm not. Through endless searches I eventually found some simple stretches and seated yoga that I find absolutely brilliant and have been doing them for a couple of years now. One day, I hope to progress to floor work. Bought a mat and block and tried a while back but it was counter productive trying to run before I can walk. ? The simple stretches I do are great for relaxation before mediation helps me to settle quicker and meditation for longer.
  25. happiness at times seems to slip thru my fingers unaccountably. a brief image, a song, a wandering thought - these and more can effect my emotions. so i have found simple things that help create an environment to "attract" happiness. making up my bed w/ fresh sheets. a vase of wildflowers, that i have gathered, adorning my home. buying - and then brewing - my favorite type of tea. taking ten minutes to flip thru one of my most beloved poetry books. playing ball w/ my loyal dog - he is so happy to be playing that i can't help smiling. depression & ptsd and grief trip me up daily, so i trip them w/ my simple pleasures. peace.
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