Qualities of a best friend - what's most important?

[Li****]

So I was talking to a friend the other day, and we discussed what we both value in terms of qualities of a best friend. There are many ways someone can be a good friend to you, and in my personal opinion, you can have different friends for different things. I have some friends that are great for going out for drinks, some are my ideal traveling buddies, and some are great for giving advice etc.

But the qualities of a best friend that my friend and I both appreciate are very similar. For example, we both agreed that something really important is how that friend makes you feel. You should feel positive after being around them (or on the phone with them!) whether that means you feel, happier, more relaxed or relieved about something that was bothering you, or uplifted. 

 

This is obviously just one of many important qualities of a best friend, what would you say is important qualities for you? 

[Bj****]

It just happens... i´ll meet with one of my oldest best friend today to spend some days together.
Those of my friends, that have grown up with me, are still my really close ones. Even if we all live on different places, these connections can´t be broken and it doesn´t matter if we don´t see us or talk a year. I have great "new" friends too, but when it comes to talk deep personal stuff i mostly rely on my best youth friends with whome i went through so much things, in good and in bad. It doesn´t exclude that it can happen, just in my case i experienced it this way.
So, this best friend is an amazing listener and advisor without pushing it. That is a quality i admire. I have no problems to talk about whichever topic and won´t feel weird telling things i wouldn´t tell others.
When we spent time together we laugh a lot, which is another really, really big quality of a good friend. It doesn´t happen with too many other people in that way. Those friends have to be on that same frequency.
 

[su****]

I agree, a best friend should make you feel good. But a best friend should also tell you, when you move into the wrong direction.

My best friend became my girlfriend and for us, the most important aspect was the chance to talk about everything, like really everything.

People usually hide information. We hide information from parents to not charge them with our problems, we hide information from children to keep them happy.

We also hide information from friends, because we are afraid of their reaction.

We dont hide anything from each other - no matter how embarrassing or intimate and that's pretty rare.

We know more about each other than anyone else does.

[Li****]

@suedseefrucht that's definitely another very important quality of a best friend! Being able to trust hat they will let you know if they think you're doing something wrong or are putting yourself in an unhealthy situation. Open and honest communication is so beneficial to any relationship and to each person on an individual level too. 

[De****]

Growing up I didn't have much friends as I was mostly at home, even though I was restricted as a girl child in my family but it wasn't much, but I got use to the little restrictions and I kept myself at home by myself and read.
So later in life I started making friends but they were just causal and not someone I can really share my thoughts with till eight years ago, when I started university and I meant different set of people and made friends in different aspects. Group of Friends who can just hang out, they others to just talking and fool around and others who are friends with me because of some benefit or the other but I am yet to meet a friend who can share everything with without barriers, but in all this I have one friend who I share almost everything with and that's my aunt, and I always feel that she qualifies for both my aunt and my best friend..... The day I meet a friend who I will be so comfortable sharing all my thoughts, wins and struggle with and who will see me and want me as a friend without motives and also share he/her thoughts with me and I see them as who they are without material motives, that I will be satisfy that I have a best friend, and a best friend who I can share everything even the most embarrassing things with without shame or judgement and who will correct me when I am wrong, because ladies and gentlemen.... That's my own definition of a BEST FRIEND.

[su****]

39 minutes ago, Desphilips said:

Group of Friends who can just hang out, they others to just talking and fool around and others who are friends with me because of some benefit or the other but I am yet to meet a friend who can share everything with without barriers

My best (girl)friend and I didn't share everything from day one, of course.
We had and still have a casual group of friends, which we talked to every day (like a telephone conference while gaming).

Over time, there were little things to notice, like she told us, she wouldn't be with us tomorrow.

I liked her, so I started asking questions (not in the group, but privately), like "Where are you going?". And when there was a problem, I asked for details and tried to help her solving it.

This way we got closer, until we shared everything one day.

 

We had to build up trust slowly, because it could be scary, realizing what she knows about me. Because it's like giving someone the possibility to wreck you from the inside with all your weaknesses. We even made some kind of martial law for this, were we agreed on things, we are not allowed to mention in a fight.

It's not easy, but I like the result.

Edited March 18 by suedseefrucht

[Ch****]

I have no friends in my real life but my condition with best friends was awesome and 1 to 5 can be best friends. Close sharing is possible with best friends.

[Tine]

The first and most important quality that came to my mind regarding my best friend was mentioned before over and over again: trust.

It's funny though how trust manifests. It sounds so heavy but in contrast with a person I trust I can talk about hard and heavy stuff almost light-heartedly.

It's often a person who has seen me at my lowest and is still there. So I trust that when I am who I am with my good and my bad sides they'll still be there. I do not have to pretend to be anyone I am not to "deserve to be liked". And that again allows me to take criticism and advice from them seriously. A good friend gently nudges me in the right direction but not for their own comfort as they love me anyway but for my own good. Well and if I do not take the advice and fuck up again we'll at least get a good laugh out of it. Because with a good friend I can laugh at myself easily and it's healing.

[Ni****]

The qualities of a best friend? That seems like a simple question at first, and a number of buzzwords pop into my head immediately:Trust, letting go, serenity, authenticity, honesty, secrets, deep affection, reliability, familiarity, all-nighters, crying and comforting and lots of fun, madness and laughter, laughter, laughter.
 

But then when I think about the people who are so close to me that I call them best friends, the question of the qualities of a best friend no longer seems quite so easy to answer. Because then there would have to be something like an intersection of qualities that applies to these people. The only quality that all my friends really have is a sense of humour and the willingness to laugh at almost anything at any time. Otherwise, being close friends with someone is actually similar to falling in love, the other person complements us or mirrors us and makes something in us resonate. For me personally, I find that it is not the associated terms of friendship that make up my best friends, or actually all friends, but the personalities that they are. That, after much reflection, is for me the highest quality of a best buddy: that she is her and he is him and I am me when we are together.

 

[Ka****]

 

The qualities of a best friend? That seems like a simple question at first, and a number of buzzwords pop into my head immediately: Trust, letting go, serenity, authenticity, honesty, secrets, deep affection, reliability, familiarity, all-nighters, crying and comforting and lots of fun, madness and laughter, laughter, laughter.
 

But then when I think about the people who are so close to me that I call them best friends, the question of the qualities of a best friend no longer seems quite so easy to answer. Because then there would have to be something like an intersection of qualities that applies to these people.

The only quality that all my friends really have is a sense of humour and the willingness to laugh at almost anything at any time.

Otherwise, being close friends with someone is actually similar to falling in love, the other person complements us or mirrors us and makes something in us resonate. For me personally, I find that it is not the associated terms of friendship that make up my best friends, or actually all friends, but the personalities that they are. That, after much reflection, is for me the highest quality of a best buddy: that she is her and he is him and I am me when we are together.

[su****]

17 minutes ago, Kathinka said:

she is her and he is him and I am me when we are together.

Right and to be ourselves, we need:
 

18 minutes ago, Kathinka said:

Trust, letting go, serenity, authenticity, honesty, secrets, deep affection, reliability, familiarity, all-nighters, crying and comforting and lots of fun, madness and laughter, laughter, laughter.

So it becomes easy again :D

 

[Bo****]

I agree that the best friend is someone you trust everything and rely on, and you spend a great time together. My best friend and I support each other, and even when I told him that I wanted to read more about gambling and try myself in that field, he supported me and told me that he'd help me control myself if anything went wrong.