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When a friendship is one sided


Li****
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Posted
My most friendship is also one sided like any one sided love interest. Now a days in real life no friends for hangout and previous life friends are busy in their life. I think one sided friendships is also cool and I am successful with internet friends. You are also a example of my one sided friends to think sometimes as a special girl for me. You did not accept my friendship request but still I am commenting and engaging at your posts. When a friendship is one sided, two sided love can happen. Lol 😀
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Posted

Who is "you"?
Can't be me, because I added you 2 days ago ^^

I think, there are different roles in friendships and in groups of friends.

One or a few leaders with ideas and engagement and one or a few followers.

Some years ago I was quite shy, so I was a follower. I didn't want to be the center of attention, because I was insecure.

This role is totally fine, it's easy, because you never have to organize something and you still have some fun.

But a follower is expendable. It doesn't really matter if there are 4 or 3 followers, because the ideas and the organisation will be the same.

 

A leader is important, because there will be no meetings, no fun, no activities without him/her. So everybody wants to be the leader's friend.

4 years ago, I met a new group of friends were all the people were a little shy, so I saw my chance and became a leader just by being a little confident and by organizing a crew meeting.

And it feels great to be a leader. Sure, you have to invest engagement and work but you get a lot of respect in return, so I think it's worth it.

 

So if you feel like your friendships are one sided or people don't really care about you, you could try to be a leader.

Don't go to a party, organize the party, invite people and everyone will talk about your great party.

This works best in real life.

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Calvin77
Posted

Unfortunately I have recently learned the lesson about one-sided friendships. I lost my mum recently after caring for her and during her illness and the grieving process there were many people who I thought that would be there for me that were not (conversely, people I didn't expect to reach out, did!). 

 

One or two of those that didn't reach out that much were – what I thought – best friends. We had been through a lot together! I may not always remember birthdays, but I think I'm a good friend in that I always listen, give advice to my friends, support them etc.

 

So, I discovered some so-called friends in a new light and realized how one-sided they could be with things. For myself, I actually decided not to do anything; I didn't want to share my disappointment with them or try to talk it through. I was too busy with just getting through each day. Also, as there was a pandemic I also tried not to judge them. Maybe they had their own shit going on? So, I decided to just step back and stop reaching out to those people due to their one-sided nature. I think if we are meant to reconnect we will. 

My situation is quite extreme, but maybe your friend so just have the courage to confront their friend and be open about it? 


 

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Posted

Sorry for your loss.

But yeah, friendships evolve.

I used to see my school friends every day in school, then I saw them every few months and now in times of the pandemic maybe twice a year, but it's still fun to meet and the friendship somehow survived.

The is also one friend, who I actually like but we didn't have much contact since he got a new job. I had a lot to setting up my new appartment, but now I plan to meet him more often again.

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