Difficulty dealing with breakup

[da****]

Hi All, i'm currently dealing with a traumatic breakup with girlfriend and want some help in how to overcome this. It's eating up my life with continious cycle of remembering and going over things in my mind and not allowing myself to let go

[Guest User]

I went through a painful breakup a few months ago, so I know exactly how you feel! This video helped me loads, I hope it helps you too! Hang in there!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhM

[da****]

Was it you or him who broke it off? Did you go through a no contact period? Have you even been in touch with each other?

[Guest User]

Well, I was the one to announce it, but we both agreed that it was probably a good idea (mind you it was a VERY difficult decision, since I had moved countries and changed my whole life around for this to work). And yes, I insisted on there being no contact in order to pull ourselves together and to heal (it has now been 5 months). 

[da****]

And are you over it now?

[Guest User]

Not fully, but I am nowhere near where I was 5 months ago. Getting over heartbreak (which is what happens when we separate/divorce etc from someone we love) is a process that takes time and A LOT of self-compassion. I know that you probably won't agree with me right now, but this hurt will pass! It really will...

Edited October 31, 2019 by Guest User

[da****]

But if you loved him that much why did you end it and not contact him?

[Guest User]

Because love is not always enough...as I found out! And sometimes we have to make very difficult choices even if they hurt. 

[da****]

I was going to break no contact with her this sunday because its her birthday but i've decided not to. It's better to disappear altogether, for my health and to move on. It would only give her power and i don't want that, i want to be free

[Guest User]

That sounds like a good decision and I know that it is not easy to do! Stay strong and true to yourself dannygallo! 

[da****]

What was so bad that you decided to breakup even though you loved him? If you don't mind sharing?

[Yo****]

take your time.....and with every thought, make it a good one, of when you had good times, be thankful for the time you spent together.....and send her good thoughts of thanks every day, for then you create a better future for yourself to have with another, or maybe she will return, just be happy and thankful, life gets better in thanks............you are learning how to change your emotions from the lower sad ones and moving up higher into acceptance and joy again.......be thankful and smile....you will get through this....peace be with you

[Yo****]

....oh, and send her happy birthday greetings anyway.....you will show you are kind and not bitter, and she will appreciate that in you.....Peace

[Th****]

You should always try to let go of your attachment to the pain you feel. It is an automatic trigger. Try distraction. I try to be aware of my thoughts, if they stray, distract yourself with something you enjoy.

[Dc****]

https://youtu.be/wHVTULVv6cM

[Dc****]

This is a great video