I'm Gerry ... Nice to meet you

[Ge****]

Hey,

 

I'm Gerry, 35 yo and come from Berlin in Germany. I live polyamourus. I'm homo- an demisexual and have two Partners (one of them is my fiancé)
I'm here to make new friends (just online because my anxiety to meet new people in real life is kicking hard haha) and watch out whats happening here. I'm a open minded person and deep in some spirtual things like dream interpretation or card readings (Like Tarot, Oracle and so on). I try to rebuild up my spiritual business but it's hard to make a restart.

My hobbies are Movies, Series, League of Legends. Additionally I'm blogging.

If you have questions, feel free to ask

Gerry

 

[zy****]

Welcome,

 

1 hour ago, Gerry said:

If you have questions, feel free to ask

I have a question.

I think, everyone should live the way he/she likes and this is not meant to be criticism.

I'm just curious, how some kinds of relationships work, which I didn't experience myself.

 

Is polyamorism experienced positive by all the partners involved?

As an outsider, I would think, 1 partner will always suffer from it. Like the one who is not your fiance, because he is not part of the engagement.

 

I have the same question about an open relationship. Some people think it's very good, because it's not restrictive, but personally I can not imagine that nobody will suffer from it.

[Ge****]

Hey Suedseefrucht,

thank you for your question
1st: Open relationship is not the same as polyamory.
My fiancé and I are partners since april 2018.  After one year, I tell him, that I can fall "in love" to other unless I love him. I don't love him less even I love someone too. He was a bit surprised but meanwhile he is very fine with this.

Most important thing is, to talk with eachother about anxiety to loose someone or to talk about jealousy. My partner known eachother and like eachother too very much (but not loving eachother).
Additionally the realtionship to my fiancé is less sexual because he is not so sexualized like me. And we are fine with it. With my 2nd partner I'm more sexual but less talkative. But I love them both and they loving me... I think haha . My experience is, that if you are open to talk about fears and problems polyamory can be such a wonderful lifestyle.

I hope I could answer your question. If not, feel free to contact me personally too.

Gerry

[Calvin77]

hey @suedseefrucht, if you would like to know a little bit more about these relationship types, we have a couple of articles in the magazine that may be interesting for you! Thanks :)

https://www.happiness.com/magazine/relationships/the-rise-of-ethical-non-monogamy-what-does-it-mean/
https://www.happiness.com/magazine/relationships/relationship-anarchy/

[zy****]

1 hour ago, Calvin77 said:

https://www.happiness.com/magazine/relationships/the-rise-of-ethical-non-monogamy-what-does-it-mean/

So the challenge is to make rules, all partners can agree to and to make all partners telling the truth about their feelings.

 

On the other hand, in a monogamous relationship, the challenge is to make sure, your partner can fulfill all your needs.

 

So both can be good, when it's done right.

[Ge****]

vor 5 Minuten, schrieb suedseefrucht:

So the challenge is to make rules, all partners can agree to and to make all partners telling the truth about their feelings.

 

On the other hand, in a monogamous relationship, the challenge is to make sure, your partner can fulfill all your needs.

 

So both can be good, when it's done right.

I think "To make rules" is just slightly the point. 
A polyamorous relationship is full of trust and honesty and most important to talk about talk about worries and fears. If one person don't respect this, the whole construct will crash. BUT both pairs (in my case) have there own rituals and secrets and this has to respected too.

[Tine]

1 hour ago, Gerry said:

trust and honesty

I am most likely oversimplifying this but I'll make my claim anyway:

If all the partners involved are continuously honest and transparent with each other and actively choose to be partners / these are good relationship/s?

[Ge****]

vor 2 Minuten, schrieb Tine:

If all the partners involved are continuously honest and transparent with each other and actively choose to be partners / these are good relationship/s?

Even my partners don't love eachother, we are a family. And we are feeling that this type of realtionships as good. Don't misunderstand: We are honest about this relationship. Not with every secret. We talk about our problems and fears. But we have our own ... "pair secrets" and doings. And we're all fine with this... if my partners are honest with me haha.