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Calvin77

Friends: do you even need them? How do you make new ones?

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Yvonne
Posted

Friends were always very important to me. However, I also had a hard time to make new ones. Over the years there slipped a lot of friendships, especially like @Calvin77described after moving country. I had a hard time to deal with the situation and questioned myself why I can't hold them. However to be honest I could have done much more to take care of those friendships. Friends are great but they also needed a real emotional and timely effort. Luckily I can say that I still have a few very close friends for years already. But since I'm a mum I'm just to busy to worry about making new friends :D But this might change again... 

Candy
Posted
On 9/19/2019 at 11:01 AM, Rudolph said:

Hi, I recently published a kindlebook about 9 principles for happy living.
Give it a try and please leave me a review! 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XZBRFL6

 

Thank you for sharing! I'll check it out ☺️

Melli
Posted

I don't  know how to make new friends..lol I am working most of the time or when I am off . I am home with my son. Being a mom is a super busy job. Lol

Stumble64
Posted

I have an illness that makes making friends in real life nigh on impossible. I used to be called a 'loner' when I was younger, which always seemed to suggest it was something I chose. Social anxiety chose me and I've always hated being alone. Now it's got impossible due to a neurological illness that reacts to emotion and anxiety by making my muscles stretch like I'm on one of those old torture racks. 

Rimps
Posted

I am a friendly person and like meeting new people but I believe in having a small circle of friends which are truly in your close circle. It is easy to get lost and stressed out in all the drama while having a large group of friends. Meeting some amazing people and learning from them is a great way to experience life and learnings. However, sharing your personal life should be kept to very limited number of people. Friends in inner circle should be the ones you trust and value the opinions.

Strangekiiti
Posted

Hi..

I've recently been reviewing my ability to have and hold friends...I realised I'm not particularly interested in doing the things that my 'friend's' do anymore, like drinking and dating...which has rather left me out in the cold. That I dont mind but others thjnk it's weird and antisocial.  Is it wrong to just do your own thing, but end up spending a significant amount of time alone  I wonder...the more I stay in , the less I want to go out! What do people think, is it damaging to your psyche? 

Thanks!

Candy
Posted

@Strangekiiti I went through this last year when I stopped drinking. I lost contact with nearly everyone I knew and began spending more and more time alone. I don't think it's ever wrong to do your own thing. You have to do what feels good for you, and if drinking and dating doesn't, then there's no need to hang onto it. The people who are meant to stay, will. It's been well over a year and I still love staying in! I used to be invited to things, but never went 😅 When people stopped inviting me, I was a bit upset, but quickly realised that I would much rather stay home than go out to loud, smoky places and have a bad time. I guess it just depends on you, really. But I'm also curious to know whether it's damaging to our psyche. Thanks for raising that question.

Kolzo
Posted

Interesting subject. I totally love being on my own but equally love meeting and hanging out with new people. But like Bjoern, I don't think I "make friends" - I just click with people that then become a friend. 

Some come and go in my life. I guess that some friendships are temporary. Friendships that really matter never fade - even if I've not seen the person  in years. And there's some "friendships" that I look back on and think "what the f*ck was I thinking?!) Some are best left in the past.

Also, different friends seem to play different roles in my life. You know, ones to have a laugh with, others to get practical with ideas, others for that big deep conversation.

 

 

 

Candy
Posted

I had to come back and share this link that talks about how to make friends as an adult. There are some very good tips, and it's published right here on happiness.com! 🤗 

Boyonthepond
Posted

I have a small circle of friends. Mostly people I grew up with. I have several children who keep me busy and I live in an area I'm not from so making new friends isn't something I make an effort. Being recently separated now and again I think it might be nice to make some new friends and maybe meet someone. But then I see some severe character flaws in most folks either at work, on the train, or at the gym and I think no way!! I'd rather be alone with my hobbies than deal with all the nonsense. 


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