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Those of us with brothers and sisters are used to having fallouts with them. But at what point does it mean your relationship with your sibling could be toxic? Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains the signs to watch out for... We, obviously, do not choose the family we are born into. Yet, if anything shapes us and affects who we will be as people, it is precisely our families – including our siblings. They bring a distinctive value to our lives. They also come with unique challenges. Unfortunately, some are so hurtful that they could even be described as toxic siblings. Most of us are raised to believe that having a sibling is a blessing by the norm. And it often is. They ought to provide friendship, support, and a source of care and love for a lifetime. We share memories and family bonds. They are a part of who we are. However, sometimes this simply is not the case. In the same way, as any other relationship could be unhealthy, siblinghood is also a potential source of pain and toxicity in your life. This article will show you how to recognize if your sibling is toxic and how to deal with the fact. Four signs your sibling might be toxic How we relate to our siblings is strikingly less researched compared to relationships between parents and children. Still, their significance is not to be underestimated. Theoretical reviews conclude that those relationships are fairly complex. They impact us on various levels, and a myriad of factors affects their quality, from individual to cultural. Sisterly squabbles: perhaps a sign of a toxic sibling For example, the family’s overall cohesiveness and expressiveness will influence how children behave towards each other. Moreover, the father’s actions and attitudes, as well as the siblings’ temperaments, were found to either contribute to a healthy relationship or produce toxic siblings. In some instances, the combination of factors produces a relationship so dysfunctional that it can be named toxic. Here are some of the features of toxic siblings’ behaviour: 1. Abusive behaviour Toxic siblings are often abusive. Same as in any other relationship, this can range from delicate manipulation, through the shades of psychological abuse, to downright physical aggression. Criticism, looking down on you, bullying, invalidating or gaslighting, and physical intimidation or abuse – all of it happens in toxic sibling relationships. You may be so accustomed to how your sibling has been treating you all of your life that you take it as a given. Nonetheless, it still is abuse – and it is a trait of toxic siblings. 2. Undermining your other relationships Some toxic siblings tend to ruin your relationships. Although those are anecdotal accounts, I am aware of quite a few such cases. Sometimes it is possessiveness or jealousy. Other times, the sibling pair transfers the dynamics with the parents to other relationships. So, the toxic sibling works on becoming the favourite (usually unconsciously). In any case, it is not uncommon that a sibling goes on and wrecks their brother’s or sister’s relationships. Some toxic siblings will actively work to undermine your romance, friendships, or even professional relationships. How do they do it? The means range from getting angry or fussy through various forms of manipulation to direct requests for you to end the other relationship (“…or else…”). They could stir up trouble, be difficult, or demean you in front of your partners, friends, or business associates. 3. Refusing to take responsibility Childhood dynamics between siblings tend to transfer to adulthood. No matter what age you might be, if your sibling was always shifting blame onto you, this pattern probably persisted. Toxic people, in general, do not own up to their actions and the influence they have on others. “Criticism, looking down on you, bullying, invalidating or gaslighting, and physical intimidation or abuse – all of it happens in toxic sibling relationships.” The same goes for toxic siblings. Being unfair or hurtful is one thing. It can even happen unintentionally. Not accepting the responsibility for it is, however, a sign that your sibling has not developed the level of maturity needed for you to have a healthy relationship. 4. Exploiting your relationship Toxic siblings will often take advantage of you. They might exploit you emotionally. For example, they could manipulate you into serving their own psychological needs. They could be counting on your assistance with whatever and whatever. In that way, they are disrespecting your time or other obligations. Finally, they might exploit you financially. In any case, where there is a lack of reciprocity, there is no talking about a healthy relationship. How to deal with a toxic sibling An extensive meta-analysis based on data from nearly 13,000 siblings confirmed the massive impact of sibling relationships. The conclusion was rather simple – more conflicts between siblings equals more mental health problems. Ideally, one would want to mend the relationship and enjoy the benefits of having idyllic siblinghood. Sadly, that is not always possible. RELATED: Why family is important for happiness In the first sentence of this article, it was said that we do not choose our family. However, as adults, we choose our relationships. In other words, you will probably not change your toxic sibling. You will definitely not change the fact that you are related. You cannot alter the past and how they affected you so far. But you can transform the way you relate to them. Here are some ways to deal with toxic siblings. They are aimed at protecting you from further hurt and potentially opening the path towards creating a healthy relationship. 1. Self-compassion and self-care When our sibling is mistreating us, we might feel somewhat forced to put up with it. They are our family, after all. However, if you want to restore your well-being and break free from the cycle of maltreatment, you need to start focusing on yourself. Counteract any form of abuse with self-compassion and self-care. Watch out for any “should”s and “must”s. That is, examine if you feel obliged to meet your toxic sibling’s needs – and then ditch the feeling of coercion. Take care of your needs, and build up your sense of self-worth towards a sovereign Self. 2. Practise compassion The other side of the self-compassion coin is to practise compassion. Not even toxic siblings are necessarily all bad. They might be going through tough times personally or professionally. Even more likely, they might not have learned how to behave in a healthy, mature way. They might perceive the situation entirely differently from yourself. Could you show compassion for a toxic sibling? shutterstock/pixelheadphoto digital skillet There is no excuse for maltreatment (especially abuse), but have you tried to understand them? Or did you also merely continue your childhood dynamics? In Jung’s words: “We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate; it oppresses.” ― C.G. Jung, Modern Man in Search of a Soul Even if you were repeatedly hurt and betrayed, try to find it in you to forgive them. If nothing else, forgiveness is good for you. A meta-analysis of over 100 studies involving over 26,000 participants from 17 countries confirmed that forgiving results in improved mental (and some aspects of physical) health. That does not imply that you are supposed to let your sibling trample on you. It merely means not holding a grudge and moving on from past hurts. 3. Reach out Sibling relationships are often one of the longest in our lives. If it is an unhealthy bond, we tend to accept it as a chronic problem. Meaning, we rarely seek help for such an issue. Nonetheless, if you want to change the situation, no matter how long it lasts, reach out. “Even if you were repeatedly hurt and betrayed, try to find it in you to forgive a sibling. If nothing else, forgiveness is good for you.” You could talk to a close family member and explain what you have been going through. If this sounds too delicate, consider speaking to a supportive friend. Quality social support is one of the best tools to alleviate the adversities of distress and trauma. Having someone to rely on and talk to makes you resilient to stress, possibly via neurological and endocrine pathways. Last but not least – contact a professional. Seek out a psychotherapist’s assistance in untangling the conscious and unconscious ties and beliefs that keep you bounded within the toxic relationship with your sibling. 4. Learn to be assertive If you find yourself being pushed around by toxic siblings, you probably need to brush up on your assertiveness skills. Family relationships are usually the most challenging for practising assertive communication. We feel too close and too exposed to suddenly become firm in setting our boundaries. We are too accustomed to the ways of our relationship to change how we communicate. Yet, it can be done. Your parents’ and families’ principles should not automatically be your own. When you start reprogramming how you communicate with your sibling, you are also creating a new reality for your relationship to evolve. You are building a new Self that is based on self-respect and healthy boundaries. Assertiveness means to regard both your and theirs obligations and rights. As a result, your toxic siblings will eventually realise that they have no choice but to follow the new (healthier) rules. Let go of the past – and hopes for the future In order to change how you relate with toxic siblings and the past relationship’s aftermath, there is one last thing you need to do. It is to let go of the past, as well as your hopes for the future. Put to rest past hurts, and dismiss any anticipation of what is to come. Abandon both bitterness as well as visions of a happy future. This piece of advice is not about pessimism. On the contrary. It is about a philosophical distance from whatever your expectations might be. Simply put, it is about keeping an open mind (and heart). Why do I recommend this? To neutralise the Pygmalion effect, or the self-fulfilling prophecy. It is particularly strong and difficult to discern in interpersonal relationships. And even more so if we are emotionally invested. So, whatever the course of your relationship might have been thus far, and whatever the future may hold, dismiss anticipation. It will give you the best chance for an optimal outcome. Moving on: with or without toxic siblings Dealing with toxic siblings can be one of the most challenging situations in your life. It is probably chronic, deeply rooted, and highly burdensome to change. However, if there is one message that I would like you to take from this article, it is that one always has a choice. You do not need to spend your entire life tolerating maltreatment. You may choose to mend your relationship and open the doors to a new, healthier siblinghood. You could also decide to end the relationship – forever or for now. You could modify when and how you meet with your toxic sibling. You could decide to let them carry their own load and stop being constantly on call. However, even beyond these practical acts – you always get to choose how you perceive and react to a situation. Whatever happens – you decide whether and to what extent you will allow it to affect you. Main image: shutterstock/Antonio Guillem happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum ■ developing with free online classes in our Academy Family activities | Letting go | Abuse Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Are you a perfectionist? Always seem to be busy? Do you find it hard to say ‘no’? Then you may be living with high functioning anxiety. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains how the overachievers and overthinkers of this world can learn techniques to manage this chronic state of anxiety. High functioning anxiety is not an official diagnosis. It is a term popularly used to describe a state of chronic anxiety that often goes undiagnosed – and unnoticed. However, that does not mean that it is not a real thing. It is, and it can negatively affect your physical health and mental well-being. The hallmark of high functioning anxiety is the fighting mode of those affected. They are many of the overachievers, overdoers, overthinkers of the world. They are people who are white-knuckling their way through anxiety every day of their lives. In this article, we will look into what characterises people who describe themselves as having high functioning anxiety and how to deal with it. What is high functioning anxiety? A quote fit to start our discussion on what high functioning anxiety is, is one by Alain de Botton, a contemporary British philosopher: “The largest part of what we call ‘personality’ is determined by how we’ve opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness.” High functioning anxiety is not recognised as an official diagnosis in the current revisions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or the International Classification of Diseases (ICD). People who are using the term define it, generally, as being anxious but pushing through the feeling by staying busy and productive. In other words, it means hiding anxiety behind being an overachiever in various areas of life. Diagnostic categories are known to change, For example, homosexuality was once considered a disorder. Other categories were amended, deleted, added, adapted, recategorised, amended again. Such changes to mental disorders’ official classifications follow new findings, observations from psychotherapy practice, and political and societal changes. Anxiety spectrum disorders, in specific, underwent substantial modifications between the DSM-IV and DSM-V. Being over-busy is a sign of high functioning anxiety shutterstock/Drazen Zigic Therefore, high functioning anxiety can be considered a real issue, even though it might not be categorised as a separate disorder at the moment. In other words, it may appear in one of the following revisions of psychiatric manuals. The experience of being anxious, hiding it, and functioning on high (top, over-the-top) performance levels is real – and psychiatry might look into that in some of the future changes to the classifications. High functioning anxiety statistics So, how many people have high functioning anxiety? That is incredibly difficult to estimate. The first problem is that it is not a diagnosis of which institutions keep track of, as already explained. Secondly, anxiety in itself is severely underdiagnosed – and we can assume that people with high functioning anxiety are particularly unlikely to seek help for it. Indeed, one study determined that, in adolescents, only one-third of those affected by anxiety sought any form of professional help. According to another study, the lifetime prevalence of anxiety disorders is approximately 30 per cent. Regardless, they remain underdiagnosed, misdiagnosed and improperly treated. “The hallmark of high functioning anxiety is the fighting mode of those affected. They are many of the overachievers, overdoers, overthinkers of the world.” Anxiety is far more prevalent in high-income countries, and it disproportionally affects women. Considering these statistics, it becomes clear why there is so much talk about high functioning anxiety lately. The pressure of living in the modern-day Western world with ever-mounting roles and obligations results in heightened anxiety. People, however, often do not seek treatment or receive adequate help. Some keep muscling their way through the demands, the pace of life and the non-stop urge to keep going forward. Symptoms of high functioning anxiety As there is no official category in psychiatric manuals, we must rely on other sources to determine how high functioning anxiety looks like in real life. According to the South African College of Applied Psychology, these are the five main symptoms: 1. Staying busy all the time People with high functioning anxiety are keeping themselves busy at all times. This behaviour goes beyond productivity and working on one’s goals. They have an emotional need to keep themselves occupied. Relaxation and doing nothing at all feels threatening and uncomfortable. 2. Being a perfectionist Those who know them describe people with high functioning anxiety as highly determined, ambitious, and intent on always getting things done. In other words, everything you imagine under a Type A personality. This is not surprising, given the type’s association with anxiety. 3. Poor sleep Same as with generalised anxiety disorder, people with high functioning anxiety often have sleep disturbances. They can have difficulties falling or staying asleep. On the other hand, when they manage to get a bit of shut-eye, it is a fidgety sleep that brings little rest. Excessive working in overachievers can lead to poor sleep 4. Inability to say “No” Because of their need to be liked and acknowledged, those living with a high functioning form of anxiety are often unable to decline a request. They profoundly fear disappointing others. 5. Numbing behaviour Some people affected by high functioning anxiety try to numb the apprehension they feel. It can be a slightly more adaptive option, like exercise. However, often it is the straightforward unhealthy choice, such as excessive use of alcohol, psychoactive substances or overeating. Potential positives From one point of view, one that considers objective achievements, high functioning anxiety might come with benefits. The “trademark” of people affected by it is their high productivity. It is also one of the reasons why many are reluctant to seek professional help. If you think that you have high functioning anxiety, you are probably happy with its outcomes, even though it burdens you emotionally and physically. You might be outgoing, passionate, active and helpful. You are probably everyone’s first pick for any team. “People with high functioning anxiety are keeping themselves busy at all times. This behaviour goes beyond productivity and working on one’s goals.” You are punctual, detail-oriented, highly efficient and effective. Being perfectly organised and orderly is your middle name. On the outside, arguably, one might be pleased about managing to cope with anxiety by overachieving. After all, one of the reasons it is not considered a disorder is that it does not affect the person’s functioning. Potential negatives At the same time, albeit high functioning, it still is anxiety. In addition to the emotional toll, there are also outcomes of pushing yourself too hard. As a result of never taking a time-out, you are highly vulnerable to burnout. Obligations tend to hoard because you cannot say “no” when someone asks you to complete a task. You could also be comparing yourself to others and feeling dissatisfied with yourself all the time. Even though you might be highly sociable, inside, you probably feel insecure and tense. Because you have a hard time relaxing, you might be unable to enjoy the moment. You rarely take a vacation and relish in the benefits of obligation-free retreats. Unhealthy habits, such as working beyond optimal limits, could get the best of you. Poor sleep quality adds to exhaustion. Proneness to excessive use of alcohol or other harmful substances to numb the anxiety further strains you. Dealing with high functioning anxiety The first thing we should emphasize is: you are not going to lose your efficiency or become less successful if you address your anxiety. Some people might be reluctant to make changes because they, understandably so, like being high-fliers. However, healing from anxiety will not rob you out of your organisation skills. It will merely make you feel less stressed and your life more balanced, healthier. Anxiety troubles different people differently. So, you should try what works best for you. We give you four possible ways to deal with your high functioning anxiety: 1. Get professional help As with any mental health disturbance, the best thing you can do is seek professional help. Anxiety can be overwhelming, even the high functioning type. Anxiety disorders should be treated with psychotherapy, pharmacotherapy, or a combination of both. Cognitive-behavioural therapy is most often used, but other forms could also work for you. 2. Meditate and learn to be mindful A recent study reviewed 25 further studies on the effects of mindfulness meditation on anxiety among college students. The findings determined that such a form of mental practice has ample positive effects. In the clinical population, that is, among people diagnosed with anxiety, mindfulness-based interventions were also very effective. RELATED: Mindfulness vs meditation – understanding the difference 3. Be your own therapist You are an expert on your state. So, use this knowledge and design a toolbox specifically for your needs. For example, if you worry too much, you can designate some time- and place-specific worry time. Findings revealed that, although counter-intuitive, a half-hour of intentional worry, when it follows certain principles, lowers anxiety levels. Consider trying self-hypnosis for anxiety. According to a recent study, hypnosis audios trained the brain to exert better physical and emotional control over one’s experiences. Maybe try and work on cognitive restructuring – a technique in which you track, analyse and alter your habitual way of thinking about events and experiences. 4. Reach out Studies show that social support is one of the most powerful ways to reduce anxiety. Open up to someone who cares about you and tell them how you have been feeling. It might come as a surprise to them. However, it is important to have people who know everything about you and encourage you when you slip. It could do wonders for your need to power through your days and maintain a superhuman persona. Being your vulnerable and insecure self in a safe environment will help you tap into a more relaxed state of existence. Defend yourself against anxiety in a healthier way Although we are exposed to the pathologisation of anxiety in media and expert literature, some philosophers consider it an inherent part of being human. From that perspective, what we are left with is a choice. It is the choice of how we will view and deal with high functioning anxiety. We invite you to redesign your pick. Opt to defend yourself from the feeling in a more balanced way, with lots of self-love and self-care. Main image: shutterstock/Roman Samborskyi happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum ■ developing with free online classes in our Academy Coaching | Letting go | Authenticity Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Restorative yoga is a type of yoga that encourages deep relaxation, calm, and better sleep. Yoga teacher Jacqui Gibbons outlines more of the benefits it offers, plus explains a full restorative yoga sequence and suggests the props you need to practise it safely and securely. Restorative yoga is the most gentle, relaxed and slow type of physical yoga you can do, designed to release muscular and mental tension, calm your nervous system, and ease you into deep relaxation. For a start, unlike other yoga, it’s done mostly lying down. Props are used to support the body, so that it can fully relax and lie in the various positions for 12-15 minutes each, while the muscles are passively stretched. Props include bolsters, yoga blocks, cushions and blankets. Two things in particular make restorative yoga very different to other styles of yoga. The first is holding the body in each position for 12 or more minutes. It takes this long for the nervous system to move out of a frazzled state – the fight-flight-freeze reaction – into a deep relaxation response. The second is that the body is fully supported and comfortable, so that you can let go of tension in your muscles, breath and mind. It is staying in the postures for this length of time – which means you only do four or five postures in a one-hour class – that helps to passively release chronic muscular tension, and soften and relax the body. It allows the natural breath to become very soft and subtle, and soothes the nervous system until it deeply relaxes. Restorative yoga takes you into a state of relaxed awareness. It is not meant to make you sleep (though it can prepare you for better sleep later). While it is deeply restful, you are at the same time aware of your body, breath and surroundings. It’s a soft awareness, sensing that all those things are there, but without getting caught up in thinking about them. You still stretch the muscles – with forward folds, backbends and spinal rotations, as other forms of yoga also have – but in a restorative yoga sequence these are passive, relaxed, supported stretches, unlike active and dynamic forms of yoga such as hatha, ashtanga and vinyasa flow. A restorative yoga sequence encourages a state of deep relaxation Done correctly, with the guidance of an experienced, knowledgeable and supportive teacher who is specifically trained in restorative yoga, it is deeply comforting and is more than just relaxation of the body; it uses the physical body to also access the mental, energetic and nervous systems, to have a deeply restorative effect and nurture you at all levels of your being. The benefits of restorative yoga You can benefit from restorative yoga if you want to feel less tense or stressed and want to deeply let go and relax – both physically and mentally. The primary focus of restorative yoga is the breath. When we’re stressed, we switch to short shallow chest breathing rather than full breathing using the diaphragm (the main breathing muscle). It’s a normal part of the short-term nervous system response to danger. However, it’s not sustainable. It can become a pattern – along with other unhelpful patterns such as holding our breath or reverse breathing (not taking in enough oxygen when we inhale) – and this can become chronic, which is a vicious cycle as it then keeps the mind stressed and the nervous system aggravated. 1) Breathing Restorative yoga allows the breath to become naturally slower, deeper and more relaxed, as we allow the body to be completely still. This not only benefits the mind and nervous system during the session, but if repeated regularly over time can help to correct unhelpful breathing patterns so that our involuntary day-to-day breath becomes more optimal. “Restorative yoga is the most gentle, relaxed and slow type of physical yoga you can do. It's designed to release muscular and mental tension, calm your nervous system, and ease you into deep relaxation.” The breathe is the foundation of our life, and how we breathe reflects how we are living – holding, tense, restricted and unaware or free, yielding, open and soft, and all shades in between. The breath can guide us to the core of our being – the essence of who we are. 2) Restorative yoga helps to release tension As you try to relax in the postures you may feel the places where you’re holding tension. Restorative yoga helps you to gradually release these through a passive, gentle softening and allowing, rather than an active stretch or forcing. It can help you to overcome the disconnection many of us have with our bodies (where, for example, we ignore stiff shoulders and continue hunching over a laptop until it becomes chronic and painful), and instead develop a respect, understanding and connection with your body. 3) Restorative yoga can improve the health of the nervous system and relieve stress When we do more in life than the nervous system can cope with, or are dealing with personal and environmental stressors, the sympathetic nervous system is activated and we go into survival mode. This system has evolved to keep us alive, so when it perceives something as a dangerous situation it releases hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol to help us run from it or fight it. But this level of response is meant to be short-term, to keep us safe. It takes a lot of energy and is not sustainable long term if we’re regularly, perhaps almost constantly, in survival mode. If we are, this can then compromise other systems, such as digestion and immunity. Stress is the main cause of long-term illness. 4) Restorative yoga slows us down Many of us do too much in life; working long hours, working too hard, not taking breaks, or trying to fit too many tasks and calls into our day. We don’t allow ourselves space and silence. When we slow down and quieten the noise, we can appreciate the beauty of space, silence and simplicity, and reset our minds to enjoy each moment with full awareness. Life is made up of small moments and details, and becomes more meaningful and fulfilling when we are present for them. Let tension melt away through restorative yoga shutterstock/ESB Basic 5) Restorative yoga can help us to sleep better All of the benefits above contribute to another one: better sleep. Over time, restorative yoga creates the conditions – deeply rested, more relaxed, a nervous system that’s not consistently aggravated, breathing more optimally, holding less tension, giving ourselves more space and silence – that guide us into deeper, better quality sleep. Then we wake up refreshed and can greet the day with more energy and joy. Best props for restorative yoga This is a list of everything you need for restorative yoga. The most essential prop is a yoga bolster. All these can be substituted with things you have at home. However, I recommend you buy a specific yoga bolster, as it’s the right shape and firmness, and easier to use. 1 yoga mat – or lie on a non-slip rug 1 or 2 yoga bolsters – or rolled-up yoga mat and blanket (see below) 4 yoga blocks (the flat-ish ones) – or lots of cushions and pillows 1 yoga brick (the brick-shaped one) – or use the cushions 1 yoga strap – or dressing gown belt 1 large blanket, to fold and place on your mat for extra comfort 1 small blanket, towel or throw, to roll into a mini-bolster or for under the head 1 eye bag or folded scarf to cover your eyes If it’s not possible to buy a purpose-made bolster, tightly wrap a folded blanket around a rolled yoga mat. It must be firm, the shape of a bolster, smooth (rolled with no wrinkles), and tied securely at both ends so that it doesn’t unroll (dressing gown belts work well). However, this is more faff and it’s not as easy to move around between postures. The second bolster is not essential but is useful for some poses, and a good idea if you have a stiff or painful lower back or hips. Different types of bolsters are available but I recommend a regular, rounded bolster (compare different types here). Try this one by Yogamatters or the more environmentally sustainable hemp bolster filled with organic buckwheat hulls. Being in a yoga studio equipped with all the right props makes setting up the postures a lot easier. The teacher can help you with them, and can skilfully guide you into the relaxation state, which can work better than being at home surrounded by distractions. On the other hand, it means you get into a very relaxed state then have the disruption of travelling home. A restorative yoga sequence It is not always possible to get to a yoga studio, so here is a simple restorative yoga sequence you can do at home, using one bolster and your cushions and pillows. If you’re new to restorative yoga, have several lessons in-person with an experienced teacher (or on Zoom, in a very small class size so that you’re seen). At the beginning, you need a teacher to give you instructions and small individual adjustments that make it more comfortable; to clarify things you’re not sure about; and to guide you into relaxation (rather than leaving the mind to its own devices). With their words they can skillfully guide you into deep stillness, relaxation and silence. They create a safe, comfortable and nurturing space. This is preferable to a recording, where the teacher cannot see you and you may have to disturb yourself to adjust your computer screen or volume. Videos can be helpful so that you can follow the teacher’s cues, see what to do, and relax without looking at the time. However, looking at a screen or using the keyboard to adjust volume, view etc are the antithesis of everything described above. Never crane your neck to see the screen, don’t open your eyes once you’re in the posture, and set the volume and place the screen where you won’t need to adjust them. “As you try to relax in the postures you may feel the places where you’re holding tension. Restorative yoga helps you to gradually release these through a passive, gentle softening and allowing.” Here is a simple 75-minute home restorative yoga sequence. Print it, so you don’t look at a screen during your session. This is no substitute for personal teaching and is done at your own risk. Do not do anything that’s uncomfortable, unpleasant or aggravates injuries. If you don’t know what something means, don’t do it. Attend some classes first, or see below for video links instead. 1. Savasana – initial relaxation. Lie on your mat with a widthways bolster under your knees, your knees and feet apart, a thinly rolled blanket under the backs of the ankles, 1 or 2 cushions under the head (but not the shoulders) and an eye bag over closed eyes. 12 minutes. 2. Reclined Easy Pose – hip opening. From here, draw the bolster nearer your bum, cross your legs at the shins or ankles (as when sitting cross-legged) and allow the hips to open, supported by the bolster. If they’re not supported, put yoga blocks on the bolster under the hips until they are and you can fully relax. 12 minutes. Eye bag over eyes. Halfway through, with minimal disturbance, swap to the opposite ankle in front. 3. Reclined Spinal Twist. From here, place the hands on the outer thighs and support your legs as you uncross them and bring the knees together. Rest your feet on the bolster for a minute. Then drop both knees to the right and rest them on the bolster. Position the feet comfortably and securely (not sliding off). Keep the backs of both shoulders in contact with the ground, so that you’re rotating the spinal muscles. Only turn the head the opposite way to the knees (as in the active version) if it feels relaxing. 8-10 minutes, then change sides for 8-10 minutes, then untwist and lie on your back. 4. Reclined Backbend. Slowly sit up with eyes closed. Open your eyes and place the bolster behind you, lengthways on the mat. Place a block or cushions at the far end (your head will rest on these). Sit on your mat facing forwards with your knees bent and bolster behind you. Pull it close to your sacrum. Slowly lie back over it. Adjust the block so it’s under your head. If the backbend is too much, come up, put a second bolster on top of the first, staggered, and try again. Once in position, straighten your legs along the mat. If that’s uncomfortable, bend the knees, place your soles on the mat, separate the feet and let the knees rest on each other. Hands rest wherever is comfortable. Eye bag on the eyes. 12-15 minutes. 5. Supported Forward Fold. From above, slowly sit up with eyes closed. Open your eyes and turn round to kneel in front of the bolster (omit this posture if kneeling is uncomfortable or you can’t sit on your heels). Remove the block. Separate the knees and pull the bolster(s) closer in to you. Lean forward and rest the front of your torso and head on the bolster. Rest the hands and arms wherever is comfortable. Have the forehead on the bolster, or turn the head to one side. Have a cushion under the head if you want to. 12-15 minutes. To end, lift up slowly with closed eyes and sit for a few moments before you open your eyes and end the session. Best restorative yoga classes on YouTube Many videos on YouTube with the title ‘restorative yoga’ are not restorative yoga. They are quiet, slow yoga sequences with deep active stretches (often for highly flexible bodies) but are not true restorative yoga, as described here, and do not have its benefits. It is not restorative yoga if it includes unsupported postures, use of strength, active stretches, postures that are held for only a few breaths, or more than five postures in an hour. It’s not Pigeon Pose without bolsters, Downward Dog or Ardha Matsyendrasana (seated twist) – all things that are on YouTube labelled restorative yoga. Here are three of the best restorative yoga sequences on YouTube: .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Restorative yoga for hips and back opening Focuses on opening your hips and lower back. Four postures in 45 minutes, allowing time for the benefits described above. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Restorative yoga, 40 minutes. A varied selection of postures for opening different parts of the body. However, they are only held for around four minutes, so use this video as an introduction to them, then do them on your own, staying in them for 12 minutes. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Restorative yoga, 60 minutes. Clear explanations and set-ups, staying in the postures for several minutes. There is talking and music all the way through so it doesn’t have the deep benefits described above (the mind cannot fully turn inward when it’s being directed to external sounds), but if your mind wanders a lot you might like this. Summary of restorative yoga Restorative yoga benefits us not by challenging us or powering our way to health but by slowing down, being gentle and nurturing ourselves. As a yoga teacher, and someone who has done yoga for 20 years, I know it can be tempting to always do our more dynamic practice. But once we allow ourselves to slow down and regularly take a restorative yoga class, we realise how much we needed it – especially if we’re living a busy life, working, studying or looking after a family. It is a therapeutic practice, developed in the 20th century by BKS Iyengar (one of the most influential yoga teachers of the modern age) to help people who couldn’t do a more active physical yoga practice because of injury, illness or chronic health conditions. However, don’t reserve it only for these times. Build it into your week as a counterbalance to a strong physical practice, to a busy stressful life, or for any and all of its multiple wellbeing benefits. To learn more, three of the leading teachers in restorative yoga to look for are Judith Hanson Lasater (a pioneer in this field), her daughter Lizzie Lasater, and Anna Ashby, who teaches online and trains yoga teachers in restorative yoga (she taught me). In summary, the key features of restorative yoga are: The body is supported by yoga bolsters and other props You stay in the positions for 12 or more minutes It involves surrendering, relaxing, stillness and quiet It doesn’t involve strength, active stretching, movement, pushing or resisting It releases stress and tension, in the physical body and in the mind The primary focus is the breath, guiding us out of our mind and grounding us in the body It relaxes the sympathetic nervous system (fight-flight-freeze) and activates the parasympathetic (resting state) Live lessons with a teacher are more helpful than videos, especially for beginners It has a deeply restorative effect on the body, mind, nervous system, energy and emotions Main image: shutterstock/Koldunov happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Stress management | Motivation | Yin yoga Written by Jacqui Gibbons

Do you believe the idea that money can’t buy happiness? Think again. Research suggests that cash can improve well-being to a certain level. But, as Dee Marques finds out, essentially, it’s how you spend money that affects your levels of happiness. Money can't buy happiness. Just how many times have you heard that in your life? This old saying reflects the generally accepted belief that happiness is a mindset that cannot be changed by how much – or how little – money we have. But, sometimes, we may feel that that's not completely accurate and that money and happiness are connected in some way. Indeed, at some point or another, we've all thought that we'd be better off with some extra cash in our pocket. When money’s tight, it's only natural to think that having a little more of it would make us feel better, less stressed about the future, and happier overall. • INTERESTED IN SELF-GROWTH? Sign-up for free courses in our happiness Academy • In fact, the link between mental health and financial problems is well documented. So, if that’s the case, why can’t money buy happiness? Let’s take a look at research findings surrounding this long-standing debate, and uncover the connection between money and happiness. Happiness and money: what does research say? According to a report by The Psychological Society, money problems rank eighth in a list of the top 18 most common causes of stress in the United Kingdom. Similar findings have been reported in many other countries, including the United States, Australia and Hong Kong. Take note: money can't buy happiness (but it can buy great Hawaiian shirts!) On the other hand, financial well-being is one of the main factors contributing to quality of life and overall happiness, so the concept of financial wellness is definitely important when looking at why money can or can’t buy happiness. Financial wellness is defined as having enough money so that we don't have to worry about it or let it interfere with our relationships, health and future plans. So, it would seem that the answer to ‘can money buy happiness?’ is yes – at some level – as long as you have enough of it. But how much is enough, and can financial wellness be quantified? According to Nobel Prize winner and economist Angus Deaton, the benchmark can be established at $75,000 per year. In his research, Deaton found that below that amount, stress and negative emotions were reported more frequently. “The link between mental health and financial problems is well documented, so if that’s the case, why can't money buy happiness?” Of course, due to varying incomes around the world, that's not a fixed global figure, as it seems to vary from country to country. For example, studies have found that the amount needed for happiness was set much higher in Australia and New Zealand, but significantly lower in Latin America. Money can't buy happiness: a matter of priorities Although the exact ‘price of happiness’ varies, most studies trying to answer the question ‘can money buy happiness?’ agree on one thing: once our basic needs are meet, the positive effects of money become less important when weighed against the negative aspects. Of course, having enough money can reduce financial anxiety, but researchers have also found that people don't feel happier once they earn over the threshold figure discussed. RELATED: Economic hardship: the 3 things that make people happy when income is low In fact, some studies suggest that making more than $95,000 a year is actually linked to lower life satisfaction. This may be the case because as people earn more money, they develop more materialistic goals and then try to keep up with appearances – and that of their colleagues/friends. Maintaining this costly lifestyle makes it easier to fall into a spiral of dissatisfaction (known as the hedonic treadmill). Money won't buy happiness if you're stressed. © Lyashenko Egor/shutterstock.com Furthermore, often money can’t buy happiness because earning more of it often equates with greater job responsibilities and a lower work-life balance. This can mean working longer hours, having larger responsibilities, and more time in the office – all resulting in less quality time with family and friends. So, the important thing here we can learn here is to be aware of the fine line between having enough and overconsumption, which can never be satisfied, and eventually will make us unhappy. So, when can money buy happiness? Having more money than we need won't necessarily make us happier, but if we use it to do and experience meaningful things it might. Indeed, science shows that happiness is not about how much money you have, but about how you use it. An important part of finding balance between money and happiness entails using cash in a way that provides lasting satisfaction. For example, going on a shopping spree will only offer short-lived excitement, but investing in experiences can create the kind of memories – and joy – that last for ever. Here are three suggestions on when spending money can boost your well-being: 1. Altruism and happiness Studies show a strong connection between altruism and happiness. Some of the world's wealthiest people, like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, donate most of their wealth because that action helps them to find meaning in life. However, you don't need to be a billionaire to experience this: you can carry outs act of kindness that involve small amounts of cash every day, for example, buying a coffee for the person behind you in the queue, setting up a monthly direct debit to your preferred charity, or sponsoring a friend that is raising money for charity. Likewise, being altruistic generally is a great thing for you: the benefits of kindness are huge and proven. 2. Investing in experiences Material possessions still have a high place in many cultures and societies. But ‘stuff’ gets broken, lost or loses it appeal after time. Experiences on the other hand create memories that will always stay with you. Take off: money spent on experiences, such as travel, raises happiness You can travel, take a cooking course, find a hobby you're passionate about, or simply be a tourist in your own town. Whatever brings joy to your heart, do it. In fact, it’s proven that a non-materialistic approach to life is one step to boosting happiness levels. 3. Buying yourself time Use money to buy yourself extra time. This way, you'll have more time to do things that make you happy. If household chores take up too much of your time and if you can afford it, hire a cleaner. If doing your taxes or managing your company's finances takes you hours, let an accountant do it and free up your schedule for more enjoyable things. If you and your partner are always exhausted because of your children, spending a little on a babysitter once a week can buy you precious time to yourselves. RELATED Spending money: how to buy yourself a happier life And you don’t have to be wealthy to benefit from any of these suggestions. A study of 6,000 people in several countries showed that those who spent money on time-saving tasks reported higher life satisfaction, regardless of their income bracket. The takeaway message is that spending money on things we enjoy contributes to our happiness, but also spending it to avoid things we dislike also works. Happiness and money: wealth affects our perception The last thing to consider when examining the connection between well-being and income is that happiness means different things to different people, so it's important to think about what makes you happy. Studies show that happiness is a complex emotion that can be experienced as a result of other positive feelings. For example, according to a study, wealthy people tend to associate happiness with pride, a sense of achievement, and feeling accomplished. Conversely, less well-off people are more likely to experience happiness in connection with emotions like compassion and love. “Often money can’t buy happiness because earning more of it often equates with greater job responsibilities and a lower work-life balance.” So, whatever happiness means to you, don't be afraid of making changes to find it, even if they seem scary at first. To some people, finding happiness meant quitting high-paying corporate jobs to follow their calling. To others, it may mean taking up a less demanding job or arranging to work from home a few days per week, even if that means earning less. Money can’t buy happiness: a quick recap To sum up, it seems clear that there's a connection between money and happiness and between happiness and income, but it's not always a cause-effect situation. Although money matters, it’s far from being the only factor contributing to happiness. Indeed, when trying to answer the question ‘why can't money buy happiness?’, it’s useful to rethink our perception of well-being, avoiding comparisons with others and trying to find out what happiness means to us at an individual level. Moreover, in our pursuit of happiness, it makes sense to focus on meeting our needs and creating a vault of experiences and memories, rather than a life full of material possessions, without forgetting to be appreciative and grateful for what we already have. So, it's clear that money can't buy happiness, except when you flash your cash in very specific ways. Happy spending! ● Main image: Dean Drobot/shutterstock.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Work Life Balance | Freedom | Charity Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

One seemingly simple question that most people wonder is: 'can we choose our happiness?'. Sonia Vadlamani explains how we can indeed cultivate happiness consciously by following the 10 keys to happiness. Sometimes it’s difficult for us to feel happy, be it because of the unrealistic standards of beauty and perfection we impose on ourselves, or the negativity we surround ourselves with. It could also be due to the fear of failure embedded deep within our subconscious, or our inability to form friendships and meaningful communities as we grow older. There are several unhelpful habits or tendencies we ingrain that can make us miserable and unhappy. Thankfully, researchers maintain that it’s possible to intervene and cultivate happiness through will and a proper framework. By following the 10 keys to happiness, you could maximize your potential for a lifetime full of joy and contentment. Happiness means different things to different people. The interesting news, however, is that our happiness is not set in stone. In her ground-breaking book The How of Happiness, researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky points out that while 50 per cent of our happiness is predetermined by our genetic makeup and personality traits, and 10 per cent of our personal happiness is determined by our circumstances and life experiences, about 40 per cent of our happiness can be chosen willfully by us, and depends largely on our daily actions. RELATED: Is happiness genetic? Here's what science says This goes to prove that while we cannot change our genes or predict the future, a significant portion of our happiness can be controlled by us. Unfortunately, our pursuit of happiness – as a society and on an individual level – can become very misguided. Indeed, technological advancements and the pursuit of materialism propagated by media messages may advocate happiness based on our material choices. Psychologist Barry Schwartz addresses this erroneous pursuit of happiness in his book The Paradox of Choice, wherein he points out that the plethora of choices we have available today due to surge in consumerism can do more harm than good, even resulting in conditions like anxiety and depression. The 10 keys to happiness: the ‘great dream’ “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”, articulates the Dalai Lama, who is also the patron of the charity Action for Happiness. While everyone’s idea of happiness may be different, Action for Happiness has identified 10 ‘keys’ to happiness, or practices that can consistently lead to a more fulfilling and happier life. While the first five keys to happiness described here refer to our interactions with the outside world (Great), the latter five keys to happiness describe the traits that originate within us and are determined by our attitude towards life (Dream). Outside: daily activities 1. Take care of your body There is an overwhelming amount of research that deems exercise a vital key to happiness and well-being. A Yale study conducted on over 1.2 million Americans concludes that exercise is more important for our mental health than money. You need not run a marathon to be healthy and happy – opt for an activity of your preference that suits your health goals and lifestyle. Indulge in mindful running, unplug from technology with periodic forest bathing, or simply swap escalator commutes with stairs. Keeping fit is one of the main keys to happiness shutterstock/Lordn Eating right can contribute towards better health and happiness too. A balanced diet consisting of whole grains, fresh vegetables and fruit, lean poultry and healthy fats can help you achieve your health goals faster. Opt for foods which promote gut health instead of processed or junk food options for improved mood, better metabolism and to keep disease at bay. 2. Practise mindfulness “We’re happiest when we focus on the present moment, and the least happy when the mind is wandering”, reveals researcher Matt Killingsworth. Mindfulness refers to being in a state of awareness and taking notice of the present intentionally and with complete acceptance. Studies show that practising mindfulness can help manage stress levels, in addition to activating the areas of our brains related to feeling good. Mindfulness can be developed using simple measures – start by paying attention to your feelings and thoughts as frequently throughout the day as possible. Meditation, mindful minute practices, and gratitude journaling can help in expanding awareness as well. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged 3. Make learning a habit Research by Journal of Happiness Studies revealed that people who work on learning a new skill or honing an existing skill tend to experience greater happiness consistently. Interestingly, learning something new can be stressful and lower your happiness levels momentarily. However, the joy of acquiring or mastering a new skill can fulfill your need for autonomy or being self-directed, thus rewarding you with long-term happiness. “There is an overwhelming amount of research that deems exercise a vital key to happiness and well-being. A Yale study concluded that exercise is more important for our mental health than money.” Indeed, it’s important to find a suitable skill to master, or the right challenge to undertake that’ll allow you to push beyond your comfort zone yet enable you to find your flow state. Researchers also found that skills chosen by you offer better results in terms of improved self-esteem and a heightened sense of connection or ‘oneness’ with others. 4. Indulge in acts of kindness Random acts of kindness are not just beneficial for others – in fact, caring for others’ happiness activates the areas linked to trust, enjoyment and social connection in our brains as well. An experiment involving seven-day kindness activities concluded that kindness is a vital key to happiness, whether extended to people who are close to you, complete strangers or even yourself. Doing things for others can help alleviate social anxiety, improve your mood and prevent illness, thus enabling you to lead a healthy, meaningful life. 5. Make meaningful connections Human beings are social animals, and hence it’s hardly surprising when researchers found that forming meaningful connections and embracing community is one of the core values we associate with happiness. Indeed, the importance of a community as a key to happiness cannot be underestimated. In addition to the safety and support, we also derive the much-needed sense of togetherness and belonging when we find others who have the same values and interests as us. Meaningful friendships are essential for joy shutterstock/santypan Scientists agree that interacting with strangers, thus bolstering our ‘weak social ties’ also impacts our well-being positively. Take some time to connect with those who serve you coffee, your cab driver, or a friendly face you encounter during your daily strolls. Gestures like passing a casual compliment, wishing someone a good day, chatting with an elderly neighbor over a cuppa can make a world of difference to someone who’s been feeling down or struggling with loneliness. Inside: Developing the right attitude 6. Be at ease with who you are Self-acceptance forms an important cornerstone for our mental health and well-being, yet it’s a routine that we tend to practice the least, as revealed in a survey conducted by Action For Happiness. While acceptance was rated as the strongest predictor of life satisfaction and happiness amidst all the other traits and habits, only 5% of the respondents admitted to being kind to themselves and believed that they were perfect the way they were. RELATED: 12 ways to practise self-acceptance Practising acceptance as a habit can be difficult at first, but it’s possible to be good to yourself by shifting your perspective. Indeed, embracing imperfections as your unique traits and acknowledging your strengths –however insignificant they seem – can be a crucial key to happiness. 7. Set vital goals Happiness doesn’t happen spontaneously – it requires planning and action towards pursuing things that matter to us. Goal setting is an important key to happiness, since it forms the outline for the life you envision for yourself. It’s important to set goals to look forward to – not only can proactive goal setting ensure fulfilment of your life ambitions and vision, following an actionable plan and achieving timebound targets using SMART goal setting can boost self-confidence and eliminate stress and anxiety. 8. Develop resilience All of us may have faced hardships, loss and trauma along our way, and since our brains are wired for negativity bias, we tend to remember the adverse events in our lives as compared to the positive experiences. However, by changing our perspective and looking at hardships as stepping stones towards personal growth and success, we can learn to take back power every time we feel defeated by life. Indeed, building resilience can boost positive thinking, strengthen connections, and improve stress management skills. “The importance of a community as a key to happiness cannot be underestimated. In addition to the safety and support, we also derive the much-needed sense of togetherness and belonging.” In fact, researcher Dr Ann Masten describes resilience as ‘ordinary magic’ derived from everyday situations and resources, that helps us adapt better during hardships. There is surmounting scientific evidence that developing resilience as a life skill and finding ways to bounce back from adversities can contribute immensely to our well-being and happiness. 9. Cultivate a positive outlook “Just as water lilies retract when sunlight fades, so do our minds when positivity fades”, states researcher Barbara Fredrickson in her book Positivity. Indeed, research suggests that experiencing ‘upward spirals of positive emotions’ like gratitude, joy, interest etc. more often allows us to counteract the downward spirals of negative emotions like stress, jealousy etc. Gratitude journaling, smiling more often, finding ways to incorporate awe into your life are some easy ways to boost positivity. Learning a new skill can be fulfilling shutterstock/Syda Productions 10. Find meaning in your life Feeling connected to something larger than ourselves or possessing a sense of purpose in life is linked with greater life satisfaction, improved self-esteem, lasting relationships, and a more optimistic attitude. Leading a meaningful life could seem like a complicated process, but you can begin by prioritizing activities that bring you joy and a strong sense of purpose, like volunteering, networking for a cause, or trying to make a difference in others’ lives. The key to happiness here is to understand where your calling lies and set out to follow your bliss. ‘Life Crafting’, or the process of reflecting on your strengths and interests, and aligning them with your vision, passion and desires, can be used as the framework for setting goals conducive to the meaningful life you wish to lead. Round-up: 10 keys to happiness “It is work to be happy”, says psychologist Barry Schwartz. Indeed, there’s more to happiness than feeling good about pleasurable things, but the good news is that it can be cultivated by consistently encouraging the 10 keys to happiness or happy habits listed above into our lives. Instead of trying to implement all the keys to happiness at once, try reflecting on what each individual key means for you, and devise ways to implement them using simple action plan, to be able to lead a rewarding and happier life. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Life purpose | Motivation | Positive psychology Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

The ancient art of sound bathing is growing increasingly popular. Meditation teacher Ann Vrlak explores how sound baths harness the power of sound to reduce depression, anxiety and pain, as well as enhancing a sense of spirituality. Have you heard about sound baths or sound bathing? These are actually new terms for an ancient practice. For many hundreds of years, in various cultures, sound bathing has been part of meditation practice and healing – in some places, since the fifth century! In Australia, aboriginal tribes have employed the didgeridoo as a sound healing instrument for over 40,000 years. In a traditional practice, you would be lying down in yoga corpse pose, for half an hour up to a couple of hours, as the sound bath being created around you relaxed your mind and body, and led you into a meditation. Indeed, just as the name suggests, a sound bath fills the room and envelops the listeners. It’s quite an intense experience. And, if you’re someone who finds it difficult to meditate, sound bathing may be a great way for you to settle into the practice more easily. Is a sound bath like listening to music? So, how does a sound bath differ from listening to relaxing music, for example? The difference is there in the name: it’s a sound bath, not a music bath. The sounds that are used in this kind of practice are usually singular tones produced by instruments such as crystal bowls, gongs or bells. These specialized instruments are used because the sounds they emanate invoke deep relaxation and meditative states. Sound bathing is not about melody, but about the physical vibration of sound itself. The instruments are most often played in a way that produces deep, resonating tones that overlap each other. This creates a powerful field of vibration that is felt in body, mind and spirit – much in the same way that mantras do. RELATED: Vedic meditation – the benefits and mantras you need to know In many meditation traditions, sound is considered to be the most primordial and dynamic element in our universe. OM, the universal mantra, is said to be the sound of the universe itself, and its repetition will give you an increasing feeling of harmony and connection with all things that vibrate at its frequency. Whether you experience this kind of profound experience or not, the repetition of mantra, as well as sound bathing, encourages your mind to unwind by activating a deep relaxation response in your nervous system. The sound of the gong invokes deep relaxation What’s a sound bath like? I mentioned earlier that sound baths are traditionally part of a meditation practice. It is a tool to relax body and mind, so you are more receptive to a meditative state. Today, sound bath events or sessions are used just as often solely for their relaxation benefits. Whether people come for a spiritual or relaxation experience, sound baths are extremely popular in many places. Furthermore, sound baths are also used as therapeutic tools to heal physical and psychological illnesses. In fact, I was very lucky to experience a healing treatment myself a few years ago that involved the placement of crystal bowls on my chest that were “sung” by the therapist. At the time I thought, “This is what a cello feels like.” The sound vibrations reverberated through my body and created a deeply meditative, thought-free and pain-free state. I’ve never heard of this kind of treatment since – though I would go again in a second if I had the chance! “Sound bathing is not about melody, but about the physical vibration of sound itself. The instruments are played in a way that produces deep, resonating tones. This creates a powerful field of vibration that is felt in body, mind and spirit.” For most of us, here is the kind of simple format you can expect at a sound bath event: participants lie down on their backs on a yoga mat, with blankets and pillows available. The sessions are usually conducted in a similar way to a yoga class, with several other people in the room. The therapist then begins the sound bath. They use one or more instruments to create the series of overlapping tones, from deep low tones on a large crystal bowl, for example, to high sparkling sounds like a small chime. The sound bath usually begins quietly with frequent silences and grows in complexity and layering. The instruments create sounds that resonate and sustain for long periods, until they disappear into silence. RELATED: The power of silence Sound bathing can offer some people easier access to meditation. Following the sound into silence, eases your attention away from your mind, into your body and into sound – and ultimately, the silence between sounds. If there is a guided meditation component to the session, the therapist leads you through the meditation while the sound continues. If there is no guided meditation in your session, you simply let your attention rest in the physical sensations of the sound in your body and enjoy. Bowls are key components of sound baths shutterstock/Microgen The benefits of sound baths When you have a sound bath, you receive many of the same benefits as a regular meditation session: Reduced anxiety and depression Activation of your body’s relaxation mechanisms Better focus and concentration Promotion of good mental health Enhanced self-awareness Better sleep Plus, you can enjoy other benefits, like: The ability I touched upon earlier to move more easily into quieter, meditative states of mind Lowered blood pressure Relief of physical pain In terms of the science behind the practice of sound bathing, research studies into its potential benefits are few and far between. However, a 2017 study from the University of California did show that Tibetan singing bowl meditation had a positive effect on participants' mood, anxiety, pain and spiritual well-being. The study consisted of 62 participants. Compared with pre-meditation, following the sound meditation participants reported significantly reduced anger, tension, fatigue and depressive mood. Additionally, those who were previously naïve to this type of sound meditation experienced a significantly greater reduction in tension compared with participants who were experienced in this sound meditation. What's more, the feeling of spiritual well-being significantly increased across all participants. “Sound baths are traditionally part of a meditation practice. It is a tool to relax body and mind, so you are more receptive to a meditative state.” The results of this study may point to why the practice of sound bathing has a respected place at the heart of many meditation traditions. Want to try sound bathing? I’m writing this article about a year into the COVID-19 pandemic and public events are still restricted in many parts of the world. If you can't currently enjoying an in-person class, you can manage to experience a sound bath for yourself, thanks to the internet! One group offers virtual sound baths. And, you can take a three-hour (!) crystal bowl sound bath below, in high quality audio and video. I highly recommend it. You could also try creating your own sound bath at home. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } This is one of the many sites that sell Tibetan singing bowls, and it also provides instructions on how to create your own sound bath at home. If you can invest in a bowl, you’ll enjoy the added experience of making the sounds yourself and feeling the vibrations of the bell through your hands. You can listen for the tones and rhythms and silences that resonate most with you, and take you into a relaxed state. The takeaway At the very least, sound baths are one of the most unique experiences you’ll find and, at most, you may find a healing, relaxing, meditative practice that you can easily make part of your life. Especially with high quality recordings available online, sound baths are more accessible than ever. Having done many live sound baths myself, I heartily recommend you try one if you can. The experience of the direct sound vibrations around you are hard to describe. I hope you have a chance to try one some day. Main image: shutterstock/Microgen happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Stress management | Mindfulness | Burnout Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Finding your flow, stress reduction and self-expression three ways in which practising art can help fight mental health issues. Stanislava Puač Jovanović explores the evidence around art therapy for depression and outlines the benefits it can bring to your mental health. Art in any form presents a symbolic expression of the artist’s inner world. It is a vessel for self-exploration, articulation of subconscious contents, growth, and – psychological recovery. People have always felt this connection between creating or consuming art and the process of internal healing. Many great painters, sculptors, musicians and writers lived a life in which art was intertwined with mental health issues. However, you do not have to be a painter or a musician to let art heal you. My father, God rest his soul, albeit not an artist by profession, survived the most challenging times in his (our) life by painting and listening to Led Zeppelin every night for many months. In fact, using art for depression therapy and treatment has a long history. I'll review the empirical evidence corroborating art therapy’s potential to help people deal with depression. There are many options to use art for depression. I hope you will find your personal path towards soothing the darkness of depression through creating or enjoying artwork. Art therapy for depression You do not need to be a professional artist – not even slightly talented – to benefit from art therapy for depression. That's because the essence of its curative effect is not in the artistic quality of your creation – it's in exploring and expressing your most intimate experiences, often hidden from yourself, even. To bring this a little closer, I'll start with a quote from C. G. Jung, artistic in itself: “I should advise you to put it all down as beautifully and as carefully as you can — in some beautifully bound book. It will seem as if you were making the visions banal — but then you need to do that — then you are freed from the power of them. If you do that with these eyes, for instance, they will cease to draw you. You should never try to make the visions come again. Think of it in your imagination and try to paint it. Then when these things are in some precious book, you can go to the book and turn over the pages, and for you, it will be your church — your cathedral — the silent places of your spirit where you will find renewal. If anyone tells you that it is morbid or neurotic and you listen to them — then you will lose your soul — for in that book is your soul.” ― C.G. Jung, Visions: Notes of the Seminar Given 1930-1934 Art can be a therapy for depression shutterstock/WAYHOME studio Jung himself can be considered one of the most dedicated explores of one’s own psyche. Much of this self-exploration occurred in an interplay with art and its ability to make the symbolic nature of subconsciousness accessible. After having separated from Freud, during the nights in which psychosis menaced him, he kept on pursuing the inner images. During four years, Jung conducted these psychological experiments on himself and created Liber Novus (The Red Book). According to his own words, this self-work was by far the most important one in his professional and personal life. The importance of self-expression and self-discovery I allowed myself to speak about Jung to this extent because it is a wonderful illustration of what art can do for someone’s mental health. Art, being non-verbal and symbolic, opens up the path towards those parts of the psyche that cannot be expressed verbally without losing meaning. Art for depression, to emphasize Jung’s words again, serves to deliver “the silent places of your spirit where you will find renewal”. RELATED: Feeling blue or clinically depressed? The 4 things you should look out for Depression, as anyone who has experienced it to any degree knows, is a state in which destructive forces take over. When you engage in creating art, you are, in a way, presenting a counter-weight to such damaging energies within you. Creation fights the destruction. And you do it without struggling to convey, using words alone, the abyss inside you to someone else. The evidence for art therapy The American Psychological Association defines art therapy simply as: “the use of artistic activities, such as painting and clay modelling, in psychotherapy and rehabilitation. Art therapy provides the opportunity to express oneself imaginatively, authentically and spontaneously. Results of such a therapeutic work with art are personal fulfilment, emotional reparation and transformation. Art therapy uses dance, drama, music, poetry and visual arts to help clients express themselves. It is based on an underlying notion of a holistic approach to people. In other words, we are as non-verbal beings as we are verbal – the former being potentially even stronger than the latter. “Art, being non-verbal and symbolic, opens up the path towards those parts of the psyche that cannot be expressed verbally without losing meaning.” Although using art for depression has a long history, starting from the 1940s, there are few controlled clinical art therapy trials. The reasons are methodological. Given the individualistic and uncontrolled, spontaneous flow of the therapeutic session, it is challenging to reach standardised conditions for trials to be conducted. However, the findings that are reported testify of the potent power of art for those struggling with depressive moods. A 2007 study from Florida State University carried out on a group of convicts confirmed that those involved in an eight-week-long art therapy treatment experienced a significant decrease in symptoms of depression. Convicts have a strong urge not to express their problems verbally because a verbal disclosure might put them in more trouble. Therefore, the non-verbal nature of art for depression served as the ideal channel for dealing with it. Meanwhile, a 2012 study out of Seoul Women's University conducted on older adults revealed that using art therapy to target depression could reduce negative emotions, improve self-esteem and decrease anxiety. The effects were highly evident, with a reported reduction of negative feelings of over 85 per cent. Another study with the elderly also supported such claims. Symptoms of depression reduced dramatically after just six weeks of art therapy. You don't need to be a skilled artist to try art therapy Among women who were recently diagnosed with breast cancer, according to findings, creative arts therapy intervention brought about an increase in self-expression, spirituality and psychological well-being. Depression scores were lower after only four, one-hour-long weekly sessions. How efficient could art for depression be? We could look for an answer in a study that compared the effects of traditional verbal psychodynamic therapy and brief psychodynamic art therapy. Women with depression underwent ten weekly sessions of one of these approaches to treating depression. Results showed that art and verbal psychotherapies were comparable, and both brought about relief from depression. Arts and Minds is a UK organisation that founds its work on blending art with mental health interventions. Its engagement testifies about the extent of effectiveness of art for depression, alongside other mental health disturbances. One of their users summarised their experience: “It was a way I could express myself and allow how I was feeling to really surface […]!” Apart from these studies that look into how art works to reduce symptoms of depression, the overall view on art therapy is more than positive. As an extensive literature review and another scientific analysis of available findings revealed, art therapy: reduces stress and cortisol levels increases mindfulness, especially with mindfulness-based art therapy brings balance and calmness to the thinking process delivers more flow experiences reduces symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) eases pain relieves anxiety increases self-esteem improves immune system function helps academic performance develops innovative thinking Viewing art According to an article written by the University of Arizona staff, even viewing art can benefit our well-being. Although everyone is uniquely affected by art, its ability to impact us is undisputed. Viewing art stimulates our brain to try and discern patterns and meanings. According to the article authors, viewing an artwork increases blood flow to our brain by 10 per cent, which is equivalent to looking at someone we love. “You do not need to be an artist to benefit from art for depression. That's because the essence of its curative effect is not in the artistic quality of your creation – it's in exploring and expressing your most intimate experiences.” Finally, embodied cognition, the process in which mirror neurons transform what you see into emotions, could also explain why art can help lift someone out of a depressive mood. The energy from the painting affects your brain as if it were real. That goes for serene landscapes, as well as for abstract art that somehow captures the healing you need to occur. Bring art for depression into your life I started this article with an expressed hope that you will find your way to use art therapy for depression. The options and media are plentiful. Join a painting class. Relieve tension with adult colouring books or mandalas. Do photography. Sketch something. Dance, move, journal, make jewellery. There are little (if any) limits to art and its workings. In fact, you can start merely by consuming art and letting it wake up emotions and potentials you have forgotten about. Get some art supplies and start pouring your soul onto paper or canvas, be it as abstract or as concrete as you need it to. Finally, you could work with an art therapist to benefit from the structured professional approach to your creativity in depression. Whatever route you decide to take, one thing is certain. Art as therapy will open up the channel of communication between the inexpressible pain and hollowness of depression and your inner healing power. Or, as someone incomparably wiser than myself had expressed it: “No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.” - Carl. G. Jung, Aion Main image: shutterstock/Monkey Business Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum ■ developing with free online classes in our Academy Coaching | Letting go | Authenticity Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

From expressing emotions to making sense of the world, seven artists explain why they write, rap, take photos, draw, dance and make movies. One thing they have in common is that the choice to make art isn't really a choice: it's something they were born to do. By JEREMY ADAM SMITH and JASON MARSH on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. Why do you make art? That’s the simple question Greater Good posed to seven artists. Their answers are surprising and very diverse. They mention making art for fun and adventure; building bridges between themselves and the rest of humanity; reuniting and recording fragments of thought, feeling, and memory; and saying things that they can’t express in any other way. All their answers are deeply personal. In this issue of Greater Good, we explore the possible cognitive and emotional benefits of the arts, and yet these artists evoke a more fundamental benefit: they are just doing what they feel they’re born to do. 1. Gina Gibney: Giving power to others Gina Gibney is the artistic director of the New York-based Gina Gibney Dance Company, which was founded in 1991 to serve a dual mission: to create and perform contemporary choreography that draws upon the strength and insights of women and men, and to enrich and reshape lives through programs that give voice to communities in need, especially survivors of domestic abuse and individuals living with HIV/AIDS. “I make art for a few reasons. In life, we experience so much fragmentation of thought and feeling. For me, creating art brings things back together. In my own work, that is true throughout the process. In the beginning, developing the basic raw materials for the work is deeply reflective and informative. Later, bringing those materials together into a form — distilling and shaping movement, creating a context, working toward something that feels cohesive and complete. That’s incredibly powerful for me — something that really keeps me going. © Andrzej Olejniczak/Gina Gibney “Interestingly, the body of my work is like a catalogue of the events and thoughts of my life. For me, making work is almost like keeping a journal. Giving that to someone else — as a kind of gift through live performance — is the most meaningful aspect of my work. “I make art for a few reasons. In life, we experience so much fragmentation of thought and feeling. For me, creating art brings things back together.” “Dance is a powerful art form for the very reason that it doesn’t need to explain or comment on itself. One of the most amazing performances I have ever seen in my life was of a woman — a domestic violence survivor — dancing in a tiny conference room in a domestic violence shelter for other survivors. She was not a professional dancer. She was a woman who had faced unbelievable challenges and who was living with a great deal of sadness. She created and performed an amazing solo — but to have described her performance as “sad” would have been to diminish what we experienced. “That’s the power of dance. You can feel something and empathize with it on a very deep level, and you don’t have to put words to it.” 2. Judy Dater: I like expressing emotions Judy Dater has been making photographs for more than 40 years and is considered one of America’s foremost photographers. The recipient of a Guggenheim and many other awards, her books include Imogen Cunningham: A Portrait, Women and Other Visions, Body and Soul and Cycles. “I like expressing emotions — to have others feel what it is I’m feeling when I’m photographing people. “Empathy is essential to portraiture. I’ve done landscapes, and I think they can be very poetic and emotional, but it’s different from the directness of photographing a person. I think photographing people is, for me, the best way to show somebody something about themselves — either the person I photograph or the person looking — that maybe they didn’t already know. Maybe it’s presumptuous, but that’s the desire. I feel like I’m attending to people when I’m photographing them, and I think I understand people better because I’ve been looking at them intensely for 40-some years.” A portrait by Judy Dater 3. Pete Docter: It’s fun making things Pete Docter has been involved in some of Pixar Studio’s most popular and seminal animated features, including Toy Story, A Bug’s Life, Cars, and Wall-E, but he is best known as the director of the Academy-Award-winning Monsters, Inc. Docter is currently directing Up, set for release in May of 2009. “I make art primarily because I enjoy the process. It’s fun making things. And I’m sure there is also that universal desire to connect with other people in some way, to tell them about myself or my experiences. RELATED: The Life Cube – changing the world through art “What I really look for in a project is something that resonates with life as I see it, and speaks to our experiences as humans. That probably sounds pretty highfalutin’ coming from someone who makes cartoons, but I think all the directors at Pixar feel the same way. We want to entertain people, not only in the vacuous, escapist sense (though to be sure, there’s a lot of that in our movies too), but in a way that resonates with the audience as being truthful about life — some deeper emotional experience that they recognize in their own existence. “I make art primarily because I enjoy the process. It’s fun making things. And I’m sure there is also that universal desire to connect with other people in some way.” “On the surface, our films are about toys, monsters, fish or robots; at a foundational level, they’re about very universal things: our own struggles with mortality, loss and defining who we are in the world. As filmmakers, we’re pretty much cavemen sitting around the campfire telling stories, only we use millions of dollars of technology to do it. By telling stories, we connect with each other. We talk about ourselves, our feelings, and what it is to be human. Or we just make cartoons. Either way, we try to have a good time, and we hope the audience does too.” 4. Harrell Fletcher: Anything anyone calls art is art Harrell Fletcher teaches in the art department at Portland State University. He has exhibited at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, the Berkeley Art Museum, Socrates Sculpture Park in New York, and in numerous other museums and galleries around the world. In 2002, Fletcher started Learning To Love You More, a participatory website with Miranda July, which they turned into a book, published in 2007. Fletcher is the recipient of the 2005 Alpert Award in Visual Arts. “The question of why I make art needs to be broken down a bit before I can answer. First of all, what is art? The definition of art that I have come up with, which seems to work best for me, is that anything anyone calls art is art. This comes from my belief that there is nothing intrinsic about art. We cannot do a chemical analysis to determine if something is art or not. Instead, I feel like calling something “art” is really just a subjective way of indicating value — which could be aesthetic, cultural, monetary and so on. © Harell Fletcher. An image from "The Problem of Possible Redemption 2003" “If we look at other kinds of creative activity we can see how various forms can all exist and be valid at the same time. I’ve made what I think of as art since I was a child, initially drawings, then photographs, paintings, videos, and so on. By the time I got to graduate school, I was not so interested in making more stuff, and instead started to move into another direction, which these days is sometimes called “Social Practice.” “This is sort of a confusing term since it is so new and undefined. In a broad way, I think of it as the opposite of Studio Practice — making objects in isolation, to be shown and hopefully sold in a gallery context. Most of the art world operates with this Studio Practice approach. In Social Practice, there is more of an emphasis on ideas and actions than on objects; it can take place outside of art contexts, and there is often a collaborative or participatory aspect to the work. “So, back to the question why I make art. In my case, the projects that I do allow me to meet people I wouldn’t ordinarily meet, travel to places I wouldn’t normally go to, learn about subjects that I didn’t know I would be interested in, and sometimes even help people out in small ways that make me feel good. I like to say that what I’m after is to have an interesting life and doing the work that I do as an artist helps me achieve that. 5. Kwame Dawes: An environment of empathy Kwame Dawes, Ph.D., is Distinguished Poet in Residence at the University of South Carolina. He is the author of 13 books of verse, most recently Gomer’s Song, and a novel, She’s Gone, which won the 2008 Hurston/Wright Legacy Award for Best First Novel. “I write in what is probably a vain effort to somehow control the world in which I live, recreating it in a manner that satisfies my sense of what the world should look like and be like. I’m trying to capture in language the things that I see and feel, as a way of recording their beauty and power and terror, so that I can return to those things and relive them. In that way, I try to have some sense of control in a chaotic world. © Rachel Eliza Griffiths “I want to somehow communicate my sense of the world — that way of understanding, engaging, experiencing the world — to somebody else. I want them to be transported into the world that I have created with language. “And so the ultimate aim of my writing is to create an environment of empathy, something that would allow the miracle of empathy to take place, where human beings can seem to rise out of themselves and extend themselves into others and live within others. That has a tremendous power for the human being. And I know this because that is what other people’s writing does to me when I read it.” 6. James Sturm: The reasons are unimportant James Sturm is a cartoonist and co-founder of the Center for Cartoon Studies in White River Junction, Vermont. He is the author of the best-selling and award-winning graphic novel The Golem’s Mighty Swing, chosen as the Best Graphic Novel of 2000 by Time magazine. In 2007, his trilogy of historical graphic novels was collected in a volume entitled James Sturm’s America: God, Gold, and Golems. “I like the question “Why do you make art?” because it assumes what I do is art. A flattering assumption. The question also takes me back to my freshman year of college, where such questions like “What is nature?” and “Is reality a wave or a circle?” were earnestly debated (usually late at night and after smoking too much weed). “Twenty-five years later I’d like to think I am a little more clear-headed regarding this question. Perhaps the only insight I’ve gained is the knowledge that I have no idea and, secondly, the reasons are unimportant. Depending on my mood, on any given day, I could attribute making art to a high-minded impulse to connect with others or to understand the world or a narcissistic coping mechanism or a desire to be famous or therapy or as my religious discipline or to provide a sense of control or a desire to surrender control, etc., etc., etc. “Whatever the reason, an inner compulsion exists and I continue to honour this internal imperative. If I didn’t, I would feel really horrible. I would be a broken man. So, whether attempting to make art is noble or selfish, the fact remains that I will do it nevertheless. Anything past this statement is speculation. I would be afraid that by proclaiming why I make art would be generating my own propaganda.” 7. KRS-One: Hip-hop is beyond time, beyond space Lawrence Krisna Parker, better known by his stage name KRS-One, is widely considered by critics and other MCs to be one of hip-hop’s most influential figures. At the 2008 Black Entertainment Television Awards, KRS-One was the recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award for his rapping and activism. “I was born this way, born to make art, to make hip-hop. And I think I’m just one of the people who had the courage to stay with my born identity. Hip-hop keeps me true to myself, keeps me, human. “Hip-hop is the opposite of technology. Hip-hop is what the human body does: Breaking, DJing, graffiti writing. The human body breakdances, you can’t take that away. DJing is not technology; it’s human intelligence over technology: cutting, mixing, scratching. It’s physical. The manipulation of technology is what humans do, that’s art. “I was born this way, born to make art, to make hip-hop. And I think I’m just one of the people who had the courage to stay with my born identity.” “Or take graffiti writing. Put a writing utensil in any kid’s hand at age two or three. They will not write on a paper like they’ll later be socialized to do, they will write on the walls. They’re just playing. That’s human. Graffiti reminds you of your humanity when you scrawl your self-expression on the wall. Hip-hop helps us to see the things in the world in new ways. “That’s why hip hop has kept me young. It doesn’t allow you to grow up too fast. Hip hop is beyond time, beyond space. That’s why I make hip-hop.” ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Film | Poetry | Crafts | Literature Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish them with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

What exactly is Niksen, the Danish art of doing nothing? Dee Marques takes up the arduous challenge of, well, sitting and doing very little at all, in order to discover the benefits it can bring to the mind and body. Have you ever needed a break urgently, but then felt bad about taking it? Unfortunately, many of us feel guilty about doing nothing due to the belief that we must constantly be achieving or producing something, otherwise we’ll be branded as lazy. So when we hear about trends that embrace “the art of doing nothing”, we might equate them with a character flaw or roll our eyes incredulously. I’ll admit that I’m guilty of this, so before writing this article I did several 10-minute sessions trying to experience what the art of doing nothing felt like. And, initially, I will admit that it felt stressful. The first time I sat in my crafts room and my eyes instantly wandered to my book shelf, so I started to think about all the books I hadn’t managed to read yet. Then I saw my box of sewing UFOs (unfinished objects) and felt the pressure to get on with them. The art of doing nothing at all is such an alien concept that my husband even walked in while I was staring out of the window and asked me “are you OK?”, which shows that we’ve come to see idleness as a sign that something must be wrong. Indulge in the art of doing nothing shutterstock/stockfour The problem is that being constantly on the go can raise stress levels, cause anxiety, and interfere with getting better sleep. This can get us into a catch-22 situation: being tired and stressed can lower productivity, and the fewer things we get done, the more stressed we become and the more we push ourselves, which is the perfect recipe for burnout. RELATED: 14 sleep hacks to get a good night's rest Moreover, the COVID pandemic has changed many things. Whereas before staying in was a way to relax and de-stress, that’s no longer the case for many people who feel antsy having their busy schedule disrupted. But at the same time, lockdowns have created an opportunity to explore our habits and whether we use time in the best possible way. So, there's never been a more appropriate time to ask why we should incorporate the art of doing nothing into our daily routine. What is Niksen, the art of doing nothing? Niksen is a Dutch word that’s hard to translate into English, although that doesn’t mean that the art of doing nothing can’t be learned! Olga Mecking, author of a book on how to embrace the art of doing nothing, defines Niksen as doing something without a purpose. Indeed, the only purpose of Niksen is to enjoy the feeling of doing nothing. It’s similar to the Italian expression dolce far niente, the sweetness of doing nothing. “Mastering Niksen – the art of doing nothing – can counter the constant bombardment of information we’re exposed to in everyday life.” Before moving on, we should clarify what Niksen is not. It’s not mindfulness, where we are trying to pay attention to our immediate thoughts and surroundings. During Niksen, the mind roams free. And it’s not laying on the sofa looking at our social media feed, because when we do this the wheels are still spinning. There’s a difference between laying on the couch while scrolling through your phone and simply laying on the couch, just because. The art of doing nothing is about being idle. It could be something like simply sitting in a chair or looking out the window, which is still an action but doesn’t have an ultimate purpose or intention. What are the benefits of practising Niksen? The Netherlands is often ranked among the world’s happiest countries and in 2021 it made it to the top five. Could one of the reasons why this nation is so joyous be due to the fact that the Dutch embrace the art of doing nothing? Happiness requires good mental and physical health. Practising Niksen gives the mind and body a break, and as research has proven, slowing down can lower stress and strengthen the immune system. Carolien Hamming, one of the experts on Niksen, says that we need to be recharged, just like we recharge our mobile phones when they run out of battery. Doing so will make us less vulnerable to physical and mental burnout. RELATED: Feel stress-free fast – 11 science-backed techniques Mastering the art of doing nothing can counter the constant bombardment of information we’re exposed to in everyday life. Studies show that our brain has to process approximately 74GB of information every day, which is equivalent to 16 movies. This can easily cause feelings of exhaustion and some researchers suggest it can interfere with decision making, unless we start to fully embrace the art of doing nothing. Niksen lets your mind take a break shutterstock/fizkes Japanese doctor Naoko Yamamoto – who has lived in the Netherlands for years – knows what benefits the art of doing nothing can bring. According to her, Niksen is more than a way to manage stress: those peaceful, reflective moments can become sources of inspiration. Studies confirm that a wandering mind isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and there’s a whole book written on the impact of mind idleness on creativity and problem solving. So, how do you practise Niksen? After reading more about Niksen, I tried some more do-nothing sessions and noticed that the experience stopped being so stressful. Granted, doing nothing isn’t easy in societies where a fast-paced lifestyle is the norm, and letting the mind wander is easier said than done, but it is possible. Here are few guidelines to help you start practising the art of doing nothing: Start small and aim for a few minutes at the time. This site can be useful. Schedule Niksen time several times a day. Personally, I've found it helpful to practise it in between tasks when working from home, as it gives me a clean break. Expect to feel guilty or weird at first, and stop if you notice negative thoughts or you start worrying or ruminating. Make it a device-free space. Choose something that doesn’t require thinking. Back at school, you were probably told to focus and stop daydreaming! But daydreaming can be Niksen, as it doesn’t achieve anything and serves no particular purpose; it’s just letting the mind go where it wants to go. Go for a walk without planning the route in advance; just go where your feet take you. Remember the story about Isaac Newton and the apple falling from a tree? What was he doing under a tree anyway? Probably indulging in the art of doing nothing. So why not “just” sit under a tree? You can be doing something physically and at the same time keep your mind in Niksen mode. For example, birdwatching or knitting repetitive stitches. Make the most of the wet spring weather and just sit by a window watching the rain fall. Have a pet? Watch them for a while. They’ll probably be doing Niksen too! As suggested in this first-person account, Niksen can even be something seemingly boring and irrelevant, like just watching coffee brew. Whatever you do, don’t multitask during Niksen time. Conclusions: doing nothing does something Niksen is allowing yourself the luxury of taking a mental break and giving your brain a short holiday. It may take some practice to reprogram ourselves so that we don’t see doing nothing as a waste of time, but rather as an investment in self-care and well-being. The boundaries between rest and productivity are blurred in modern life, so Niksen can help us differentiate these concepts and ways of using time and appreciate each one of them for their positive aspects. So, will you be scheduling Niksen time this week? It’s the first step towards mastering the art of doing nothing and enjoying every second of it! • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Work life balance | Coaching Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

There have been plenty of feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during March. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten from the past month to uplift and inspire. March was a time of great hopefulness in many parts of the world as some semblance of normality began to emerge for the first time in months. That said, the headlines still tended to be dominated by international frictions, disease and unrest. Of course, there were plenty of good news stories that didn't get the attention they deserved, too. So, what were some of the best? 1. Cheetahs to be reintroduced to India It's about 70 years since cheetahs were last found roaming Asia. Since then, the big cat has been only found in Africa. However, conservationists are turning the tide for the creature as six sites – including the Shergarh Wildlife Sanctuary in Rajasthan and the Gandhi Sagar Wildlife Sanctuary – have been identified as being suitable for them. According to the Indian Express, two teams of wildlife experts, one in South Africa and one in Namibia, will choose cheetahs for the project which, it's hoped, will help to ensure their long-term survival. 2. Birdsong will make you happier, according to science It may sound obvious, but being in close proximity to birds – particularly hearing them sing – has been shown to induce states of happiness in people. As reported by Yahoo! Life, the German Centre for Integrative Biodiversity Researchers set out to determine whether it was really true that birds make people feel happier. They discovered that all types of birdlife are able to increase the life satisfaction of people. In fact, they even put a value on it – the researchers say it raises joy levels so much that it's the equivalent of being given around £100 per week! Bird song gives you a boost shutterstock/AlekseyKarpenko 3. Cannabis extract may help Alzheimer's sufferers Scientists in the USA have been working on the cannabis extract known as CBD. During their experiments on mice, they found that exposure to the naturally produced substance had a beneficial effect on cognition. They now suggest that a two-week course of CBD among humans could help to improve the brain function of people who have an inherited form of Alzheimer's disease. According to the research, which was carried out at the Medical College of Georgia at Augusta University, CBD promotes the growth of proteins that help to consume dead brain cells. RELATED: How to talk to a parent with dementia 4. Damaged motor neurons can be treated with new compound Another medical breakthrough was reported in various media outlets in March. This one focussed on amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, otherwise known as ALS. The condition often leads to a loss of control in movement as the degenerative disorder worsens over time. However, scientists now think that a new compound, known as NU-9, can repair damaged motor neurons in the brain. It could offer patients the chance of a treatment pathway in the future. 5. Coral reefs around Fiji make a better than expected comeback When many of the beautiful coral reefs around the island nation of Fiji were destroyed following a powerful cyclone, some people thought they might take decades to recover. However, according to a report in the Guardian, marine scientists have found that the reefs are once more looking vibrant and teeming with life. Fiji's coral reefs have come alive again shutterstock/stockphoto-graf A tropical cyclone named Winston struck in 2016 leaving many Fijian corals looking like rubble. The Wildlife Conservation Society has been monitoring the situation since then and said that it has been truly surprised at how the reefs had recovered. Part of the success has been down to the way in which the society has created no-fishing areas to help preserve the reefs, something it did in tandem with local communities. 6. Chimpanzees use Zoom to stay social During the pandemic, many people have learned to turn to technology to keep their social lives going. However, it' not just humans who are making increased use of video conference calling. In the Czech Republic, zookeepers have been setting up Zoom calls between chimpanzees in different locations. A report in USA Today stated that a safari park in the northern town of Dvur Kralove had started using the technology to enrich the lives of its six chimps by allowing them to see other primates in a zoo located miles away. 7. Mindfulness found to be useful for dealing with pandemic anxiety There can be little doubt that the last 12 months or so have been a more worrying time than usual. Indeed, vast swathes of the world's population have suffered from fear and anxiety relating to the pandemic. However, a recently published paper suggests that these worries can be alleviated by practising mindfulness. Of course, mindfulness techniques are already well-known for the beneficial mental states that they help to bring about. This study, published in the academic journal Global Advances in Health and Medicine, is the first to suggest it also works for pandemic-induced fears. Over 200 volunteers took part in the clinical trial. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged 8. Rare toad bred for the first time in Manchester Scientists at the Manchester Museum announced they had been able to successfully breed the endangered harlequin toad in a global first. Native to Central America, the toad is so-called for its bright yellow and black markings. After six of the creatures were brought to the UK in 2018, no breeding has occurred. The beautifully-marked harlequin toad shutterstock/goran_safarek However, by replicating the humidity, lighting and water flow of their natural environment, the team was able to see tadpoles successfully developing for the first time. The breeding programme was a culmination of three years of sustained work, according to a report in the Guardian. 9. 3D printing to be used for a school in a global first A site in southern Madagascar has been set aside for a new school. Incredibly, the difference with this project is that a non-profit NGO will be building it using only 3D printed construction materials. In an effort to show how sustainable such buildings can be, Thinking Huts will deliver the design of the school faster and more sustainably than would otherwise be possible. The NGO stated that the method would mean schools of this type could be built in less than a week – including the foundations, electrical works and plumbing. It's hoped that this process will become the norm in parts of the world where more educational establishments are needed. 10. Electronic waste is beginning to decline For decades, people have been producing more and more electronic waste. All sorts of appliances are scrapped and head to landfill sites rather than being recycled each year. However, according to Recycling Today, the tide may be turning. This is because a research team from Yale and the Rochester Institute of Technology have discovered that the amount of electronic waste that is currently being produced is in decline for the first time. Of course, humans are still making such waste but now at a slower rate thanks to increased product longevity and improved recycling opportunities. • Main image: shutterstock/Romolo Tavani happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Nature | Positive news | Biology | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

The monotony of life can have us struggling with boredom. But it doesn't have to be this way! From changing your commute to trying new food, Dee Marques suggests 8 simple and science-backed ideas for shaking things up when you feel like has got stale. Why do we feel bored with life? Isn’t it a conundrum that we so often need a solid routine to feel settled, but once we get there, it doesn’t take long for boredom and fatigue to set in? Another contradiction that has become evident during the past year is that even though we may have more time than ever (especially if working from home), it’s also hard to find things to fill that extra time. Furthermore, even more contradictory is the fact that we now have a wealth of entertainment options at our fingertips. Indeed, digital technology has opened up a whole new world of things to do and learn, yet many people are still bored with life and don’t make the most of all that’s available. Life can be long and can be repetitive, but it’s also short and it would be a pity if we spent it being bored and demotivated. In this article I’d like to share some strategies I use whenever I feel bored with life. Exploring boredom
 We all feel demotivated and bored every now and then, and that’s natural. The cyclical nature of boredom is due to a process called hedonic adaptation. As humans, we have the ability to adapt to change, whether change involves positive or negative experiences. In some ways, this ability has guaranteed our survival as a species, but hedonic adaptation comes with a downside: once we get used to something, it no longer offers a challenge and we become apathetic. Although hedonic adaptation is a natural process, sometimes being bored with life can be problematic. Indeed, researchers have found links between boredom, substance abuse and mood disorders. It’s not that being bored with life can cause all of this, but it can aggravate tendencies or existing problems. For example, boredom can make people with depressive tendencies spiral into negative thoughts and feelings of worthlessness. In other people, feeling bored with life can trigger high-risk or destructive behaviours (like substance abuse or gambling, etc.) just to get a thrill. Bored with life? It's time to find meaning shutterstock/garretsworkshop Moreover, there’s a difference between being bored with life and being tired of life. The latter is what psychologists call existential boredom, a state in which nothing matters or sparks joy. You could picture it as a chronic feeling of being bored with life. The problem with being with tired of life is that it’s dangerously similar to depression. People affected by existential boredom have deep feelings of inadequacy and believe that life is passing them by without them achieving anything meaningful. RELATED: How to find meaning in life – 7 strategies The trick to avoiding this is knowing how to handle hedonic adaption. When apathy sets in, don’t let it take over. Look at it this way: being bored with life is another way the inner self has of asking, “is this all there is to it?”. In other words, a bored inner self is in urgent need of new challenges that bring joy and meaning to life. So, if the rot has set in, here are some ideas to shake things up a little when the monotony and routine of life is getting you down. Bored with life? 8 ideas to shake things up 1. Do something different – every day Novelty is the spice of life, but don’t just wait until you wake up to decide how novelty will look on that particular day. If you leave it to chance, it will never happen! Plan in advance and make a list of new things to try every day of the week. Coming up with ideas may be hard at first if you’re stuck in a rut. What I do is break the day down into different sections. For example, section 1 is “early morning” or “waking up”. Here you could choose to wake up earlier so you can watch the sun rise, start with a new morning meditation routine, or even stay in bed for longer if you’re usually an early bird! 2. Change your commute Seeing the same old sights every day at the same time of the day can be mentally exhausting. The good news is that there’s usually more than one way to get to the same place, so try a new route. If possible, walk, cycle or take the bus to work. It’s amazing how much more receptive we are to our surroundings when we’re not behind the wheel. new parks, green spaces “When apathy sets in, don’t let it take over. Look at it this way: being bored with life is another way the inner self has of asking 'is this all there is to it?'” Aside from helping to shake off your boredom, taking new routes to our workplaces or schools is scientifically-proven to boost your brain. When we try new routes and see new things, we activate the cortex, the part of the brain responsible for information processing. We also stimulate the hippocampus, the part of our brain that stores memory. At one point in his life, Microsoft founder Bill Gates took a new route home each day to stimulate his brain – and look what he achieved! And, if you're working from home, try working from a new place such as a café or co-working space every now and then. If you can’t, change the layout or décor of your home office (if you're lucky enough to have one!). 3. Find purpose in your work Talking of work, what we do for our living is a key component of finding motivation and keeping boredom at bay. Most of us spend eight or so hours a day working, so if you find your job monotonous and unchallenging, it’s easy to become bored with life. If your current role doesn’t bring meaning or purpose, it’s time to start thinking about a new career. Volunteering in your spare time is a way to explore options that may stimulate you without having to quit your current job. And if you can’t change jobs, try to come up with imaginative ways of doing what you already do – you can find 10 suggestions here. 4. Learn something new One of the most exciting things about life is that we all have the chance to never stop learning new things. Indeed, there are always new skills to learn and practise. If you're feeling bored, sign up for a new class, whether it’s something related to a new career path or something creative that can help you discover new talents. It could also be a new workout routine. Exercise is a proven mood booster, and there are so many options to try that it can take months or years to get bored. Personally, I’m a huge kickboxing and martial arts fan, but when I get bored of the same old routine I mix it up with dancing lessons. I’m terrible at it (!), but it doesn’t matter as long as it helps me snap out of that tired-of-life feeling. Turn off the TV and start a new course! 5. Do something for someone else Sometimes, focusing our attention on others is the best way to forget about our own troubles. If you’re bored with life, take interest in someone else’s life. Helping others creates a feeling of purpose, since we know we’re doing something useful, which is central to life satisfaction. So keep your eyes open for signs of people who may need help and think about how you can be useful to others. As a bonus, this will either help you make new friends or create deeper bonds with existing ones. 6. Try new food I recently came across a study on how important novelty is in fighting the feeling of being bored with life. The study looked at the effect of eating popcorn with chopsticks instead of with bare hands (how’s that for a non-boring challenge?) and found that it helped bring more enjoyment and grounding in the present and enjoyment. Even something as simple as finding exotic spices and preparing a new dish can help. 7. Become more mindful A professor at a Canadian University said that “mindfulness is accepting the present moment as it is, whereas boredom is the antithesis of that”. Of course, when when we’re bored with life, the last thing we want to do is think about how bored we are right there and then. But if done with the right intention, an inward and mindful look into our feelings can help. Looking for a place to start? Go through the questions listed in this practise exercise. 8. Cut down on screen time Social media and video games are meant to entertain us, but the problem with new technologies is that they’re designed to deliver instant gratification. Once that’s achieved, we’re on a wild goose chase to find something else that’s new and exciting. “One of the most exciting things about life is that we all have the chance to never stop learning new things. If you're feeling bored, sign up for a new class.” The mechanism behind instant gratification activates certain neural pathways in the brain that are similar to those found in addictive behaviour, which is why some people find it so hard to “disconnect” from the online world. However, digital entertainment doesn’t necessarily help fight boredom. In fact, it spending too much time on it may get in the way of trying some of the ideas suggested above that would make you feel less bored with life. So, either cut down on screen time, or choose carefully the content you consume instead of scrolling mindlessly. For example, instead of allowing the YouTube “black hole” to suck you in, only use the platform to watch videos related to new things you’re learning, as per point #4 above. Conclusion: escaping boredom Straddling the fine line between routine and monotony takes practise and determination, but the pay off is well worth it: you’ll be able to bring new experiences and variety into your life and discover new passions. So, if you’re currently feeling bored with life, don’t wait for the world to entertain you. Take active steps to find meaning and joy by using the ideas I've shared with you here. • Main image: shutterstock/shift drive happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Work life balance | Coaching Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.