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The benefits of Vedic meditation are many: improved sleep, clearer thought, and lowered stress. Meditation teacher Ann Vrlak explains how to practise this ancient meditative form and guides you on the power of the vedic meditation mantra. Vedic meditation is an ancient form of meditation practice – in fact, it’s the very first. The many styles of meditation that you see today all originated from this original practice. The source of Vedic meditation is the Vedas, a series of texts that form the basis of Indian philosophy, all branches of yoga, and the science of Ayurvedic medicine. For centuries, all three of these disciplines have had an enormous impact on people’s health and well-being around the world. The Vedas lay out a comprehensive path to a happy and meaningful life through experiential learning. When you practise Vedic meditation, you will go on a journey of self-discovery and apply what you learn to all aspects of your daily living. So, what is Vedic meditation? Vedic meditation is centred on a mantra – a phrase that is repeated either out loud or silently in your mind. “Mantra” is made up of two Sanskrit words: “man” which means mind, and “tra” which means vehicle or transport. So, a vedic meditation mantra is a vehicle to take your mind from one place to another: perhaps from the busy activity of your day-to-day mind to a deeper, quieter place, that is often covered up by that activity. Vedic meditation uses mantras, and can be done at home The most ancient mantras are in the Sanskrit language because Sanskrit is what’s known as a ‘vibrational’ language. What does that mean exactly? It means that the sound of the words, their vibrations, create the experience of the words’ meaning. For example, the Sanskrit word for peace is “shanti.” It’s said that when “shanti” is repeated, the sound itself invokes the feeling of peace. Or when the word for compassion, “karuna,” is repeated, you will be filled with a feeling of compassion. “When you practise Vedic meditation, you will go on a journey of self-discovery and apply what you learn to all aspects of your daily living.” And you probably already had experiences of how relaxing sounds can be. The sound of a running river. Or birds singing. In fact, you don’t relax through thinking about the river or the bird, but from the sounds themselves. Similarly, using a vedic mantra meditation gives your brain something innately healthy to focus on – a break from a busy mind. RELATED: What Is a Sound Bath Meditation and What Are Its Benefits? It’s worth pointing out that Vedic meditation also helps you to be more mindful and do one thing at a time (something which is deeply calming). Indeed, studies have shown that multitasking is actually stressful for our minds and bodies and, in fact, it may not even be truly possible. What are the benefits of vedic meditation? So, before explaining how to practise Vedic meditation with mantras, let’s take a look at its main benefits. If you feel you are healthy, what would that look like to you? A generally healthy person would: Sleep well Vedic meditation nurtures a healthy nervous system. It activates your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your body that governs relaxation and rejuvenation. Additionally, it helps to reduce stress chemicals that accumulate in your body, and allows a deeper, more restful sleep. Feel relaxed and be able to relax when needed Anxiety and stress are epidemics in our modern world. The relaxing effects of vedic meditation can be used any time you’re aware of being anxious or stressed. And the healing, anti-anxiety effects build over time and lower your overall stress level. Think clearly and creatively Have you ever noticed that when you’re anxious it’s hard to think? The ability to relax in the moment and have a generally low stress level allows your brain to work better. Areas across your brain work together more efficiently so you are more creative and productive. When your nervous system is rejuvenated, you have more resources at your fingertips to respond to your life wisely and compassionately. Be emotionally balanced and calm Your emotions have physical and mental components that can become a vicious cycle, creating upset or intense suffering. Just as your thinking becomes clearer and more holistic through vedic meditation, your emotions also become clearer and more grounded. Have all the energy you need Because Vedic meditation activates the rest and rejuvenate part of your brain, because you’re sleeping well, and because you’re reducing your stress level, your energy levels should soar. Be content Taken all together, doesn’t this sound like a recipe for contentment? You are physically rested and relaxed, and your thinking and emotions are clear and calm, supporting you in your best intentions. All of these things make your connections and relationships with people easier and more fulfilling. And, you have energy for the things that matter to you most. How to practise vedic meditation First, it’s important to know you don’t need any religious or spiritual belief to do Vedic meditation. All you need is a mantra, a few minutes of quiet, and a spirit of adventure. As I mentioned earlier, traditional mantras are in Sanskrit. Give one of the vedic meditation mantras below a try. If for any reason you’re not comfortable with them, you can use words in your own language, like “peace” or “compassion.” How to do vedic meditation in 6 steps Decide on a length of time to practice and do your best to stick to it. You can start with 10 minutes and build up to 40. 1. Choose your mantra. Here are a few traditional Sanskrit mantras OM. The primordial mantra, the sound of the universe or, in Indian philosophy, the sound of pure consciousness. Repeating this mantra can help you let go of personal worries and connect with the universal sound. SO HUM is another ancient mantra which means 'I am that'. Not only can you connect with pure consciousness, you can experience yourself as that consciousness. OM MANI PADME HUM is a lovely mantra meaning “the jewel in the lotus.” Lotus flowers grow in mud. This mantra invokes your power of transformation, your ability to overcome things and find the jewel in difficulty. 2. Find a quiet space When you’re first learning any kind of meditation, it’s best to take time away from your usual daily activities in a quiet space. It can be as simple as a comfortable cushion or chair in the corner of a room. As you become more experienced, it will be easier to close your eyes for a few minutes of practice wherever you are. Find a quiet spot to practise vedic meditation 3. Sit and connect with your body Take a comfortable sitting posture, physically relax as much as you can, and let your attention gently scan your body. Take a few deep breaths, letting go a bit of any tension or stress each time you exhale. 4. Use your mantra Bring your mantra to mind and, if you like, its meaning as well. Know there’s nothing you need to do or create; you’re simply repeating your chosen mantra. Start by repeating it softly, out loud. Focus on the feeling of the sound, how the vibrations feel in your throat, your heart, your stomach – wherever you feel it most. “Using vedic meditation mantras nurtures a healthy nervous system and helps to reduce stress chemicals. It also allows a deeper, more restful sleep.” When you find that your attention has drifted to a memory or a plan or anything else, that’s all part of the practice. Notice where your attention is and gently come back to repeating your mantra. After a moment or two, start to repeat the mantra more and more quietly, until you're repeating it silently inside. RELATED: Turning Pain Into Compassion: Tonglen Meditation 9 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation Does Meditation Really Work? Here's What Science Says If you like, you can lengthen the silence between the repetitions, with the mantra coming out of and going back in to silence. If you find you become distracted in longer silences, come back to repeating the mantra more often. 5. Returning to body awareness When your practice time is almost done, let go of the mantra and bring your attention back to the physical sensations in your body. Again, gently scan your body and notice if areas of your body feel different than before. Also, notice the state of your mind and your emotions. There’s no right or wrong way to feel, just notice what is here for you. 6. Close with a breath When you’re ready, end with another few deep, relaxing breaths. The takeaway: what is vedic meditation? Just like any other activity or skill you learn, getting the full benefits of vedic meditation and mantras takes time. However, by practising it you will become sensitive to subtle body, mind and emotional states – becoming a keen observer of yourself. Indeed, you may notice quite quickly small shifts in your stress level, mood and well-being as you practice. And, you may find, like so many people do, that the act of vedic meditation itself creates an oasis where you experience just a little more relaxation, a little more contentment, and a little more joy. A little of any of these experiences goes a long way in improving your happiness levels! ● Images: shutterstock/Zdenka Darula, shutterstock/fizkes happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Gratitude | Acceptance | Altruism | Volunteering Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Like author Calvin Holbrook, many of us are considering escaping the consumer-driven world and living a simpler life. Discover more about why a movement to modesty and living simply offers real benefits – from finding your purpose to improved health and increased focus. Since hitting my 40s, the idea of living simply appeals to me more than ever. While residing in large cities has provided plenty of opportunities for entertainment and excitement, I feel increasingly overwhelmed and anxious by excess noise, over-stimulation, distractions, and ever-increasing crowds. As a result, I find myself seeking out a quieter, more simplistic way of life – being closer to nature in a more peaceful setting. While some of you may be thinking to do the same, living a simple life doesn’t have to mean shacking up alone in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere (although, actually, that sounds quite appealing right now). In fact, there are many practical and not-so-drastic ways of living simply – and the benefits of doing so are proven by science. Living simply can allow for more family quality time So-called 'simple living' or ‘voluntary simplicity' is a recognized lifestyle steeped in history; one that minimizes consumption and the pursuit of wealth and material goods. Individuals choose voluntary simplicity in order to attain a more modest and meaningful life. Many religious groups, including the monastic orders from the Middle Ages to the modern-day Amish and Quakers include simple living as an essential element of teachings. More recently, the modern simplicity movement arose from the counterculture movement in the 1960s and 1970s. Then, in 1981, this movement gained a new moniker with the release of Duane Elgin’s book Voluntary Simplicity. In it, he explained the virtues of “a way of life that is outwardly simple, inwardly rich.” During the 1990s, the concept of minimalism, which includes elements of simple living, also became popular. What does living a simple life involve? While minimalism is mainly focused on reducing or giving up possessions, living a simple life includes other elements. Choosing simplification creates a life filled with meaning; a life lived on your own terms. It helps create the time and space to pursue your true interests and passions. Living simply flies in the face of the common values of the Western world. Living a simple life means stripping away the non-essential stuff to focus your time and energy on the things that matter the most to you. Living simply: 6 key benefits Moving to the countryside or living by the sea is a dream for me and many others. And while the pandemic and improved technology have led to more opportunities for remote working, many of us can't simply take the leap and uproot due to family commitments. But – regardless of where you're living – there are many practical steps you can take to simplify your life and feel the benefits. “Living a simple life doesn’t just mean giving up your possessions. Choosing simplification creates a life filled with meaning, a life lived on your own terms.” Examples include reducing your possessions, being mindful of new purchases, limiting your time on social media and smartphones, stopping attending social occasions you’re indifferent about and eliminating multitasking. Doing some or all of these things can bring you great benefits and happiness. So, let’s take a more detailed look at six key benefits of simplifying your life, backed up by science. 1. Simplify your life to learn more about yourself When you’re not distracting yourself with social media, binging Netflix, shopping for another gadget, or filling your diary with must-do events, you’re giving yourself the time and mental space to be grateful for what you already have – as well as creating the opportunity to reflect and learn more about yourself. In fact, living simply can help us find meaning and grow spiritually, as it shifts the focus away from material possessions and helps us look inwardly. It helps to create more silence – and even solitude – prime factors for spiritual reflection. RELATED: The Power of Silence: 10 Benefits of Cultivating Peace and Quiet Of course, sometimes reflecting on our lives and who we are can be as uncomfortable as it is rewarding, but ultimately it helps to focus on who we are, what gives our life purpose and meaning, and what we want to do with the rest of our lives. In turn, living a meaningful life has been to shown to increase happiness levels. 2. A simpler lifestyle can improve relationships In his essay Voluntary Simplicity: Characterization, Select Psychological Implications, and Societal Consequences, Amitai Etzioli argues that when we stop focusing our time on acquiring material possessions, we’re more likely to focus on relationships. Likewise, spending excessive time on social media or being occupied all the time can mean other relationships suffer. So, if we remove or reduce these distractors we free up more time to spend with friends and family and build meaningful connections – one of the 10 keys to happiness. Modest living focuses you on what really matters in life Additionally, developing a more simple way of life may mean editing your friendship group. Perhaps you have lots of different friends that you spend time doing different actives with, for example, the 'party' friend, the 'shopping' friend, the 'gym buddy'. By simplifying your life and doing less, it could mean shifting your focus to having fewer, higher-quality friendships and closer relationships. The interaction between you may also be more sincere, as you will be free of the need to impress. RELATED: Why Friendship Goals Matter and How to Achieve Them How to Get Over a Friendship Breakup: 7 Steps When to End a Friendship and How to Do it With Kindness In turn, there are health benefits attached to simplifying your friendships. Various studies have found that developing strong, solid friendships can reduce your illness risk – from being less likely to get a common cold to having a lower risk of developing obesity or heart disease. A 2017 Harvard study also found that keeping close friends could promote brain health as we grow older. 3. Simple living boosts your bank balance In many developed countries, the disparity between what we buy and what we need leads to huge overconsumption. This both drains the Earth’s resources and accelerates climate change. Voluntary simplicity is a lifestyle choice that minimizes consumption and the pursuit of wealth and material goods. Simplifying your life by reducing consumption means you will spend (and owe) less. The benefits of financial independence can include less stress and worry, and consequently better sleep. Indeed, according to a UK study from 2018, money worries are a huge issue, affecting 40 per cent of the population. To limit your consumption, firstly, take time to look at your outgoings and consider what you need to spend your cash on. Those daily takeaway coffees? Upgrades to the latest iPhone or Samsung? Netflix and apps subscriptions? That gym membership you hardly ever use? ““Living simply can help us find meaning and grow spiritually, as it shifts the focus away from material possessions and helps us to look inwardly.” There are so many chances to minimize spending, so cancel what you don’t need and change your habits. Additionally, you may be being charged for subscriptions for things you’ve totally forgotten about, so take some step to go through your bank statements and check what's going out every month. Secondly, aim to eliminate any existing debt you have and simply live within your means. Stop using credit cards and, instead, develop a monthly budget. Thirdly, if you’ve decided to simplify your belongings, make yourself some extra money by selling unwanted stuff on eBay, or simply donating things to charity. What's more, if you decide to simplify your social life to focus on things such as reconnecting with nature, walking, meditation, etc, this will also benefit your bank balance – because most of these things are free! 4. Living simply is great for your health Living a simplistic lifestyle can also be beneficial to your physical and mental health. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found a link between materialism and poor physical health. The team, from Knox College, Illinois, also found an even stronger link between materialism and engagement in risky behaviors that could damage physical health, such as drinking alcohol, smoking and drug use. So, it follows that the reverse – having a non-materialistic attitude – could be positive for health. RELATED: Being Teetotal: 9 Benefits of Living Alcohol-Free This theory was backed up in an unpublished survey from the University of the Sciences in Pennsylvania. It found that 90 per cent of people who identified as coming from the simple living movement reported improved physical health after choosing to make a change to earn less money. Almost as many respondents also claimed that their mental health also improved. Simple living means less stress and increased rest The reasons for this could be due to the fact that developing a more simplistic lifestyle often means less stress and increased rest. This benefits could come from spending more time with friends/family, getting more physical activity, and changing jobs to find something more fulfilling and less money-orientated. MORE LIKE THIS: Gazing at the Stars: Replacing Worries With Wonder Living on a Houseboat Wild Swimming: Health Benefits of Open Water Additionally, voluntary simplifiers often make a move away from big urban hubs to the countryside or seaside, which also has potential health benefits. A 2012 study from the University of Exeter showed that coastal populations in the UK are healthier than those inland, believed to be party due to the stress relief of living by the sea and greater opportunities for physical activity. The coast also offers cleaner, healthier air, which helps to promote better sleep (also essential for good mental health). 5. Simplistic living means increased focus Reducing possessions and commitments correlates to a reduction in distractions and therefore less physical – and mental – clutter. As you simplify your life and remove distractions, you create space to breathe and focus more carefully on what remains. In fact, the physical reduction of clutter in your home has been proven to boost concentration. Researchers at the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute studied the effects of clutter and published the results in the Journal of Neuroscience. They concluded that clearing clutter from your home and work environments increased the ability to focus and process information effectively. Their research also showed that an uncluttered space led to people feeling less irritable, more productive and less distracted. “Living a simple life means stripping away the non-essential stuff to focus your time and energy on the things that matter the most to you.” Simplifying your life by focusing on one task at a time, rather than multitasking, can also boost concentration. Multitasking used to be championed as effective, but Psychology Today reports that in reality it can decrease productivity levels by up to 40 per cent. Many of us are constantly switched on to multiple technologies: on average, we check our mobile phones every 12 minutes, causing further distractions and interruptions which affect our ability to concentrate. Choose to simplify life and learn how to avoid distractions by limiting these interruptions: remove or reduce social media usage and switch off annoying pop-up notifications. 6. Living a simple life helps the environment While the benefits of living simply described here are clear for the individual, the wider environment also benefits. It’s been previously suggested that if everyone on Earth consumed as much as the average US citizen, four Earths would be needed to sustain the population. So, consuming less and having fewer possessions decreases the amount of waste a person produces. In fact, there are many practical ways you can change you habits to live more simply and help the environment. Buying less clothes is a great place to start. Thanks to fast fashion, the textile industry is now one of the biggest environmental polluters and consumes energy throughout the supply chain. Donate old clothing to decrease consumption Indeed, humans consume 400 per cent more clothes than they did just two decades ago. About 80 billion pieces of clothing are consumed annually, and the US alone produces 11 million tons of textile waste each year. So, instead of buying cheap fashions, seek out more durable outfits that will last, and if they no longer fit, place unwanted clothes in a material recycling bin or donate – never just throw them away. As consumers we rarely consider the context and impact when buying products, for example, considering the workers and factories that made a product, the journey to the store a product made, how the packaging was produced, etc. Living a simple life means becoming more mindful of what you consume and thinking more about a product’s journey and environmental impact, therefore making more considered purchases. The takeaway: living simply According to the Chinese philosopher Confucius, “Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated.” I would have to agree. For me, it's clear these science-backed benefits of living a simpler life are enormous and can only add to our increased happiness. Simple living and sustainable living go hand-in-hand, and having a healthier environment will also lead to better health for generations to come. So, rather than buying more and more possessions, consider spending more of your time and money on experiences: they leave only memories and nothing in the trash can! ● Images: shutterstock/wavebreakmedia, shutterstock/Monkey Business Images, happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Sport & Physical Activity | Purpose of Life | Community Living Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our online magazine, loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! He also works as a collage artist.

At its core, self-inquiry is the persistent introspection on the question “Who am I?” to discover the source of the Self. Rachel Markowitz explores the fuller meaning of self inquiry, and shares steps to start practicing it. About 12 years ago, towards the end of a month-long program at a yoga retreat center in Central America, I was paired with a coursemate for an “authentic relating” exercise. Our facilitator instructed us to take turns asking each other one question. However, unlike in a typical conversation, the person answering the question was required to speak for five minutes non-stop; and, the person listening would do nothing but listen mindfully – no nodding, no uh-huh-ing, no reactions whatsoever – while keeping their eyes fixed on the speaker. This particular workshop is particularly memorable to me because of its provided prompt: “Who are you?” Like most people in the room, I was caught off guard by this provoking question, unsure how to answer. Yet, with a timer ticking away and my heart open and vulnerable from a month of living in community, I began to fill the silence by voicing streams of thoughts. At first, my answers felt shallow – a list of pronouns, roles, and qualifications about my past and present life. However, as I continued to sort through my initial impressions, my answers became more profound until, suddenly, I realized that my real response was beyond words. Self-inquiry is a practice of looking within with questions So, although my introduction to self-inquiry – sometimes written as self-enquiry – was not through a traditional method, it brought me clarity about something I had never considered before – that I am not my body, not my emotions, and, as confusing as it was to me at that point in life, that I am also not my mind or a mere soul on some journey. Personal experiences aside, self-inquiry is known throughout spiritual traditions as a powerful method for bringing about paradigm-shifting changes to constructs about life and Self. So, let's take a deeper look at the meaning of self-inquiry, its origins, and how you can begin to practice self-inquiry with questions. What is the Meaning of Self-Inquiry? Self-inquiry, or atma vichara in Sanskrit, is a practice of looking within for the source of the Self. This inquiry most commonly takes the form of a simple question directed at ourselves: “Who am I?” Unlike my introduction to self-inquiry, the practice is not actually to answer this question or contemplate it with the mind – it’s simply to ask and observe. Teachings revolving around self-inquiry suggest that when we directly question “I,” (also known as the ego), the construct of “I” has nowhere to hide. “Self-inquiry is a practice of looking within for the source of the Self. This usually takes the form of a simple question directed at ourselves: “Who am I?.” Thus, with repeated interrogation and sustained introspection, our sense of “I” eventually subsides, revealing our true nature. When “I” falls away, we are left with pure awareness because every thought we could possibly have depends on the existence of “I.” Is Self-Inquiry Meditation? Although many people label self-inquiry as “meditation,” this can be a bit misleading. In meditation, there is an object upon which we are meditating (the breath, a mantra, an energetic sensation, etc.) Alternatively, with inquiry, the focus is inward on the self as a subject. When we question ourselves, we begin to see that this subject, “I,” is based on the false assumption that our mind is real! Thus, successful inquiry leads to a lack of separation between subject and object. “Who am I?” is the key self-inquiry question On a similar note, it’s important to mention that when we practice self-inquiry, the question “Who am I?” is repeated frequently – but not as a mantra (commonly used in meditation). If “Who am I?” becomes a mantra, there is separation between the meditator and the object of meditation; thus, we lose focus on the Self. One of the benefits of self-inquiry is that you don’t need to sit and close your eyes to practice. While it certainly helps to devote a set time to doing this, you’ll find that eventually, your inquiry will happen naturally and spontaneously throughout daily activities. Self-Inquiry as a Path to Liberation According to Advaita Vedanta, or the path of nonduality, the practice of self-inquiry is a direct method to experience self-realization. Atma (self) vichara (inquiry) as a path to liberation is encouraged and explained throughout ancient texts including, amongst many others, the Bhagavad Gita, Ribhu Gita, and Yoga Vashishta. However, self-inquiry “meditation” is practiced today largely due to the influence of Sri Ramana Maharshi, an Indian sage or jnani, who realized the Self through a lucid experience of death as a teenager. “Self-inquiry is a powerful and straightforward technique for disidentifying with the typical moment-to-moment mental chatter of the Egoic mind.” Although Ramana Maharshi is primarily known for his silent presence, he often referenced the scriptures above as validation of his own experiential teachings and, furthermore, provided clear instructions for self-inquiry. These basic steps are outlined in the pamphlet “Who Am I?”, and are also described in more detail in the book “Maha Yoga,” which, by its translation, identifies self-inquiry as the “Great” yoga. In fact, in Sri Ramana’s own words, “Self-enquiry is the one infallible means, the only direct one, to realize the unconditioned, absolute Being that you really are.” However, even if your spiritual path is unclear and self-realization is not your intention, questioning your self-nature can provide balance, clarity, and authenticity in all areas of life. How To Practice Self-Inquiry According to Ramana Maharshi’s teachings, self-inquiry is an advanced practice. However, in this case, “advanced” refers to mature spiritual seekers. Thus, if you’re called to investigate the nature of Self through inquiry, this curiosity is likely credential enough. Ramana Maharshi celebrated on an Indian stamp Nevertheless, to begin to practice, you’ll need to learn to calm your mind! You can do this by following your breath, focusing on your heart center, or any other concentration method that works for you. Once your mind feels peaceful and present, you can begin to inquire: When a thought arises, ask yourself, “To whom is this thought?” (Your answer will likely be something like, “To Me.”) Ask yourself, “Who Am I?” (This question will confound your rational mind and direct it to the source of “I,” extinguishing all other thoughts, which cannot exist without the “I-thought.”) When another thought comes, repeat this process. With practice, you’ll find that your mind will begin to rest, effortlessly and thoughtlessly, in the spiritual heart center – the source, according to Ramana Maharshi’s teachings, of the “I-thought.” In other words, the spiritual heart is the place from which the ego arises. Once you can fix your mind in this space of pure awareness, you can stop your inquiry and remain as you are, free of “I.” “According to Advaita Vedanta, or the path of nonduality, the practice of self-inquiry is a direct method to experience self-realization.” These steps are merely the beginning of a self-inquiry journey. For further instructions and inspiration, I recommend consulting the link to “Maha Yoga” in the previous section or reading other works from the Maharshi’s devotees. As Sri Ramana points out in a poetic verse of Upadesa Undiyar, “The Essence of Instruction”: “When one turns within and searches whence this I-thought arises, the “I” vanishes – and wisdom’s quest begins.” Other Self-Inquiry Questions and Methods Throughout the past century, followers of Ramana Maharshi have adapted his teachings and created variations to his “Who am I?” approach. For example, spiritual teacher Robert Adams offered alternative questions for self-inquiry, including: What is this “I” that exists at all times? Where does this “I” come from? Who am I that slept last night? Who am I that has just awakened? Who am I that exists now? Additionally, spiritual seekers often benefit from contemplation or meditation on self-inquiry using partners or groups, like the exercise I described in the introduction to this article. RELATED: What Goes Around Comes Around: Is Karma Real? What is Enlightenment In Buddhism? Feeling Lost in Life? Move On In 7 Steps According to Daniel Schmidt, founder of the Awaken the World Initiative, who facilitates self-inquiry dyads, holding oneself accountable to a witness creates “conditions of no escape for the ego structure and for the awakening of the realization of your true nature.” In these dyads, instead of asking partners a question, one person prompts another in a statement, “Tell me who you are.” Takeaway: What is Self-Inquiry? Self-inquiry is a powerful and straightforward technique for disidentifying with the typical moment-to-moment mental chatter of the Egoic mind. Ancient and modern-day spiritual teachers alike suggest that “Who am I?” is the ultimate question along the path to spiritual wisdom. With patience, perseverance, and sincerity, this simple method of introspection can guide us towards an all-pervading sense of peaceful, everlasting presence. Images: shutterstock/rdonar, Wikimedia Commons, shutterstock/JLco Julia Amaral happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Acceptance | Letting go | Happiness | Learning Written by Rachel Markowitz Rachel recently found herself over a decade deep in a worldwide wander guided by what she feels to be true. She’s been facilitating classes and workshops on yoga, meditation, self-exploration, and alternative ways of living since 2012, mostly in Latin America and Asia. These days, she spends most of her time looking at, walking around, or singing to a sacred mountain in southern India. Read more of her words at her to those who wonder blog.

Dreams act as a window to understanding the subconscious mind. Sonia Vadlamani explores whether dream therapy can be the key to greater self-awareness and better mental health. Perhaps one of the most intriguing areas of neuroscience and psychology, dreaming is a phenomenon where the brain creates vivid conscious experiences, even when disconnected from the external environment. Research suggests that dreaming is closely linked to sleep and memory consolidation – our dreams may largely be the fragments of the brain processing and storing away information from the waking day. This also indicates that the conscious experiences in our sleep are related to the underlying brain activity. Everyone dreams, yet many of us struggle to recall what we dreamt about. Neuroscientists estimate that dreams typically last between 5 and 20 minutes, yet we tend to forget about 95% of our dreams shortly after we wake up. Still, dreams can leave a strong emotional imprint – for instance, an unsettling dream can affect our mood and decision-making ability throughout the day. What is dream therapy? For over a century, therapists have considered dream interpretation a crucial part of psychotherapy, particularly for understanding the workings of the subconscious mind. Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung – the forerunners of modern psychology – both offered their distinct perspectives on dream therapy. In his seminal work The Interpretation of Dreams, Freud suggested that dreams are a window to the “unconscious” mind. He also proposed that dreams are often a symbolic expression of one’s repressed desires and unresolved conflicts, often rooted in psychosexual development and childhood experiences. Unlock the subconscious mind through dream therapy While Jung challenged his colleague Freud’s ideas, he credited dreams with having a more integrative purpose. According to him, dreaming helps resolve one’s emotional and mental issues, thus revealing hidden facets of their psyche, guiding them toward deeper self-awareness and greater personal growth. Today, many therapists continue to incorporate dream therapy in psychotherapy. While Freudian and Jungian approaches remain relevant, modern techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) regard dreams as a reflection of the dreamer’s current perceptions, feelings, and real-life situations. Dream journaling is another recommended technique used to track recurring themes, reveal the underlying issues, and support one’s therapy progress. Overall, dream therapy continues to be an effective tool to enhance self-awareness, boost mental and emotional health, and improve well-being. Dream therapists: getting help with dreams The role of a dream therapist, as the name suggests, is to help you uncover more profound meaning in your dreams. For example, if you’ve been experiencing nightmares or recurring dreams that often leave you feeling uneasy or anxious during your waking day, a qualified dream therapist can offer valuable insight. Using your descriptions of your most persistent or significant dreams, a dream therapist can help analyze and interpret how your brain processes your emotions and circumstances, thus guiding you toward better self-understanding. “Therapists continue to incorporate dream therapy in psychotherapy. Modern techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) regard dreams as a reflection of the dreamer’s current perceptions, feelings, and real-life situations.” Furthermore, dream analysis isn’t as uncommon a form of therapy as one might think. In fact, a survey of 129 therapists revealed that a staggering 92% included dream analysis therapy at least occasionally in their practice, noting that working with dreams allowed for an exploratory approach rather than action-driven one. That’s where a dream therapist can play a key role – by helping you understand your dreams, they offer an insightful approach into your thoughts, perceptions, emotions, and subconscious patterns. Dream therapy can help expand your self-awareness and bridge the gap between your perception and waking reality. In so doing, comprehending what your dreams are telling you through dream analysis therapy can open up new perspectives and opportunities for your personal growth. Lessons from dream therapy While, of course, not all dreams are the same, here are some themes commonly addressed by dream analysts: 1. Dreams rooted in symbolism Although not all dreams follow the same theme or are equally easy to recall, over time you may begin to notice recurring symbols or events in your dreams. While the meaning of these symbols or themes may not be evident immediately, expert dream analysts suggest that these patterns often reflect your mind’s effort to process unresolved emotions or real-life concerns you may be grappling with. MORE LIKE THIS: Visualization Meditation: How to Practise It 8 Manifestation Techniques: Understanding the Law of Attraction What is Shadow Work: 5 Ways to Get Started Researchers have also identified some common themes many people experience while dreaming. For instance, falling endlessly can signify loss of control over a real-life scenario, while being smothered may symbolize fear or uncertainty about a person or situation in your waking life. Frequent dreams of anger, rage, or lashing out may reflect pent-up frustration or stress you’re carrying throughout the day. 2. Dreams reflecting current emotions/situations Dream therapists often find that a client’s dreams are, in fact, a reflection of their mental and emotional state during waking hours. This is especially true for recurring dreams. For instance, if you’re faced with an impending deadline coming up for an important project, your dreams may feature feelings of fear, uncertainty, or cluelessness, mirroring the apprehension you’re experiencing in real life. Dream analysis therapy can open up new perspectives Additionally, researchers also emphasize that dreaming plays a crucial role in helping the brain process and organize the information from the day. The evidence indicates that our dreams might offer a realistic glimpse into our mental and emotional well-being. With the guidance of a qualified dream therapist, it’s possible to use these insights to identify and resolve the underlying issues in our waking lives. 3. Stress or mental health conditions as indicators for nightmares Recurring dreams and frequent nightmares often indicate unresolved stress or fear stemming from a traumatic past. Research suggests that dreams can simulate adverse situations, giving the mind a chance to explore alternate responses to resolve the same. In fact, studies also suggest that dreaming allows us to confront frightening situations that we tend to avoid in waking hours. “Comprehending what your dreams are telling you through dream analysis therapy can open up new opportunities for your personal growth.” Consulting a licensed dream therapist can offer useful insight into these recurring nightmares, helping you process your trauma and devise healthier ways to cope. Working with a dream therapist In essence, dreams offer a glimpse into one’s psyche and biology, and dream analysis therapy serves as a powerful tool to understand and explore this mind-body connection. While you may be able to interpret the basic themes in some of your dreams on your own, accurate dream analysis requires professional expertise. Working with a dream therapist involves in-depth discussions about your recurring dreams to gain deeper insight into your thought patterns, emotions, and perception of the world. A licensed dream analyst can help you understand your inner world and, in turn, suggest effective coping strategies and behavioral shifts that may be difficult for you to discover on your own. Takeaway: dream analysis therapy Dream analysis is by no means a novel concept in the field of psychotherapy. Indeed, pioneers like Freud and Jung recognized dreams and their study as a powerful tool for exploring the subconscious mind. Working with a dream therapist can help you access the inner realm of the mind, which is a vessel for your memories, aspirations, and thoughts beyond your conscious awareness. ● Images: shutterstock/santoelia, shutterstock/Marish, happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Mental health | Anger management | Abuse Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Many of us are trying to find greater happiness in our lives. Learn how to boost your daily joy and well-being with these 11 science-backed tips from Calvin Holbrook. In today's modern and busy world, finding happiness can seem challenging. For the majority of us, our lives are more stressful than ever and we have less time to relax and enjoy life. The recent shift in mainstream media becoming increasingly negative only helps to fuel our anxiety, leading to greater misery and unhappiness. Happiness is a state we all want to live in, but is it even realistically possible to be upbeat and content the whole time? And what exactly is happiness? Would you consider it a way of life, a certain mood, or a state of mind? It's clear happiness levels fluctuate, but is there a way to increase or regulate them? Or is happiness a choice? In fact, as most of us have probably realized by now, there’s no magic way to stay joyful all the time. However, there is some science behind the nature of happiness. Furthermore, once we understand this, we can develop our skills to find happiness and remain joyful for longer periods consistently. So, follow these 11 science-backed ways to increase your levels of joy and you should be able to see a positive difference in your daily well-being and discover deeper happiness more easily. How to find happiness: 11 science-backed tips From staying social to practising gratitude: make these 11 changes to your life and start finding more happiness. 1. Stay social and build quality relationships Science is clear on out first tip on how to find happiness: you can improve well-being through developing quality relationships. We humans are a social species and need regular contact. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness and recent studies show it can even be as harmful to mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. How to find happiness within yourself? Through others But if you're searching for happiness, don’t start adding random friend requests to people on Insta just yet. Simply having many different acquaintances doesn’t lead to a boost in happiness levels – research shows that it’s the quality of our relationships that's key to boosting our well-being. In a landmark 75-year, multigenerational study, Robert Waldinger measured happiness levels in people from Boston’s poorest neighbourhoods and found that the most joyful were those with high-quality social connections. Furthermore, lonely people were less happy and, significantly, had poorer health. RELATED: How to Make New Friends As An Adult The 6 Qualities of True Friendship How to Be a Better Friend: 9 Ideas So, make sure to nurture more meaningful relationships with the people you already love. And, if you're feeling alone or disconnected from your current friendship group, finding your tribe – people with whom you are likely to get on best with – is a surefire way to finding more happiness. 2. Force a smile Buddhist Thích Nhất Hạnh once wrote: “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”’ Indeed, studies have shown that smiling and other external expressions work as a continual feedback loop, helping to reinforce our internal emotions. “If you're on a quest for how to find happiness within yourself, start by thinking of others first, and begin to lead a more meaningful life.” Psychological scientists from the University of Kansas conducted a study in which they assessed the impact of smiling on one’s physical and mental state. They came to the conclusion that making yourself smile can help lower your heart rate during stressful times. So, smiling even when we feel down can actually makes us feel happier. Furthermore, try smiling at strangers, too: studies also show that happiness is contagious, so you may just get a friendly grin back that lifts you up. This is an easy practical tip which can help you in finding happiness on a daily basis. 3. Find your 'flow' It sounds simple, but take time to think about what you really love doing in life and make an effort to do more of it. Go for simple things you can fit into your schedule on a daily or weekly basis. Maybe it’s being in nature. Perhaps it’s reading, forest bathing, visiting art galleries, cooking a delicious meal, or just dancing around the living room. Whatever your daily happy buzz, make time for it in your life and it will help you in discovering greater happiness. Maybe you can find your flow on the river? Better still, if you can find an activity where your mind is fully immersed in a feeling of focus, involvement and enjoyment, you've probably found your flow. This blissful state – where you're 100% 'in the zone' – sparks true moments of joy, calm and creativity, as well as helping you find happiness by forgetting any current worries. 4. Think positively Some people seem to live by the ‘glass half full’ and ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ anecdotes, and for good reason. In fact, research has shown that positive thinking can assist in stress management as well as playing an important role in your overall well-being and health. A 2017 study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that positive thinking helps in combating feelings of low self-esteem, improves physical health, as well as helps brighten your general outlook on life. “Science shows that writing a daily or weekly gratitude journal can make finding happiness easier.” Here's a simple tip: every time you have a negative thought, try and replace it with a positive one. It's sounds easier said than done, but this practice can help to retrain your usual thought patterns to bring more positive thoughts into your life. Likewise, changing your perspective on your current situation can help in discovering happiness too. If you’ve made a mistake – however big – focus on your past achievements instead, visualizing your successes. Learn more about how to stop ruminating on past mistakes and start living with hope and appreciation of the present moment. 5. Develop a more meaningful life Meaningfulness is a major happy factor that you can extend into all areas of your life. Whether it's through gardening, volunteering, or becoming politically active, meaningful activities have been shown to boost people's happiness while reducing stress levels at the same time. Add meaning to your life by helping others in need What's more, developing meaning through helping others has been shown to be particularly beneficial. A study from 2017 showed that people who offer care and help to others then become better equipped to handle their own problems. Moreover, the researched showed that participants who engaged more by helping others also showed greater decreases in levels of depression. So, if you're on a quest for how to find happiness within yourself, start by thinking of others first, and begin to lead a more meaningful life. 6. Practise gratitude Our next tip on how to find happiness is to show gratitude. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is proven to make you feel happier and more humble. We often focus on what we don't have, but, instead, we should be grateful for what we already do have: a home, food on the table, clothing, and access to water/electricity. Many millions of people in the world don’t have these things (and, interestingly, many of them are still happy!). RELATED: 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice 23 Gratitude Affirmations For Attracting Happiness Yoga for Happiness: Gratitude Yoga Moreover, science shows that writing a daily or weekly gratitude journal can make finding happiness easier. The Journal of Happiness Studies published a study that used gratitude letters to test how being grateful can affect our levels of happiness. The researchers concluded that: “Participants included 219 men and women who wrote three letters of gratitude over a three-week period. Results indicated that writing letters of gratitude increased participants' happiness and life satisfaction while decreasing depressive symptoms.” How to find happiness: gratitude journals helps you appreciate life 7. Stop comparing yourself to others In our social media savvy world, flaunting your travels, relationships and purchases on Insta is all too common. However, comparing yourself to other people only leads to unhappiness. Indeed, data from a 2010 Europe-wide survey of 19,000 people showed that those who compared their incomes to others were less happy with what they had. Furthermore, while other people’s lives may appear 'perfect’, there’s always a hidden story we’re unaware of. We usually only share our best moments on social media, rather than our fears and anxieties. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on achieving your own dreams by goal setting. If needed, change your social media habits and/or delete accounts. 8. Exercise daily If you're wondering how to find happiness, exercising is proven to boost levels of happiness. In fact, exercise has such a profound effect on well-being that it’s an effective strategy for tackling depression. In a study cited in The Happiness Advantage – a book by Shawn Achor – three groups of patients treated their depression with medication, exercise, or a combination of both. All three groups experienced similar improvements in their happiness levels in early days, but the later follow-up assessments proved very different. “Starting your day with just five to ten minutes of meditation will help you in finding happiness. Try meditating in the morning, shortly after waking.” Six months later the groups were tested to assess their relapse rate. Of those that had taken the medication alone, 38 per cent had slipped back into depression. Those in the combination group did a little better, with a 31 per cent relapse rate. But with the exercise group, the relapse rate was just nine per cent, suggesting it really did make a difference to finding happiness. So, make sure you fit some exercise into your daily routine. If you don't enjoy going to the gym, try mindful running or wild swimming to reconnect with nature. Group sea swimming is a great way to boost happiness levels 9. Get plenty of sleep If you don’t rest well, you won’t be able to function at your best. Regular sleep deprivation breaks down productivity, alertness and mood. Aim for between seven and nine hours kip a night and this will help keep your happiness levels up. A 2017 study from the Division of Sleep and Circadian Disorders at Brigham and Women's Hospital, and MIT Media Lab Affective Computing Group showed that keeping regular sleep patterns contributes to the happiness and well-being of college students. The study looked at 204 students over one month. The results show that higher sleep regularity was significantly related to higher morning and evening happiness, healthiness and calmness during the week. “Irregular sleep-wake schedules are common in our modern society," said lead author Akane Sano, PhD. “Our results indicate the importance of sleep regularity, in addition to sleep duration, and that regular sleep is associated with improved well-being.” Struggling to get a decent night's rest? Follow our 14 science-backed sleep hacks or try a deep sleep meditation. 10. Practise meditation Starting your day with just five to ten minutes of meditation will help you to find deeper happiness. Try meditating in the morning shortly after waking: the immediate heightened inner clarity and focus it will give you will set you up for the rest of the day. RELATED: 10 Types of Meditation: Which Style is Best For You? Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature Does Meditation Really Work? Here's What Science Says In fact, there are many studies that have shown that meditation can boost happiness levels by reducing stress hormones, shrinking the part of the brain that controls anxiety, and by stopping rumination, amongst other things. And, according to Psychology Today, meditation is the strongest mental practice that has the power to reset your happiness set point, thus turning you into a more joyful person and literally rewiring major areas in your brain. 11. Go outside more often While we can’t control the weather, spending time outside is essential for our well-being. In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor recommends spending time in the fresh air to improve your happiness. “Making time to go outside on a nice day also delivers a huge advantage,” he says. “One study found that spending 20 minutes outside in good weather not only boosted positive mood, but broadened thinking and improved working memory.” Find your flow: do what you love and find deeper happiness Meanwhile, a study from the University of Sussex corroborated the idea that being outdoors made people happier: “Being outdoors, near the sea, on a warm, sunny weekend afternoon is the perfect spot for most. In fact, participants were found to be substantially happier outdoors in all natural environments than they were in urban environments.” So, whatever the weather, make sure you get outside of your four walls to boost your well-being. The takeaway: how to find happiness Finally, one last thing: science also suggests that some people are simply ‘born happier’. In The How of Happiness, researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests that only around 40 per cent of our happiness is under our control (recent life events and biological set points predetermine the other 60 per cent). So, if accurate, this research means only about half of happiness levels can be controlled at any given moment. If you're searching for how to find happiness within yourself, then incorporate as many of our 11 ideas into your daily life – you should be able to increase your happiness levels over a period of time. Seeking out a positive state of mind, regular exercose, and enhancing quality relationships all help: but these habits require consistent work to be successful and help you in finding happiness. In the meantime, if life gives you lemons, choose to make a tasty lemonade! ● Images: shutterstock/Zoran Zeremski, shutterstock/G-Stock Studio, shutterstock/Ground Picture, shutterstock/Oksana Klymenko, shutterstock/jax10289 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Authenticity | Motivation | Success Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage!

Ann Vrlak explores the concepts of awakening and the path to becoming enlightened – seeing things as they truly are and free of suffering. So, what is enlightenment in Buddhism and is it possible to achieve it? Buddhists use the word “enlightenment” to refer to the goal of their philosophy and practice. But what is enlightenment? And is it something people still believe is possible to achieve today? Enlightenment has a definite meaning. For Buddhists, it describes a state of freedom different from the unhappiness that many people experience – that all of us experience to some degree, the Buddhists would say! Let's dive into this question and the Buddhist perspective on how to achieve enlightenment. And we’ll take a brief look at how and why the Buddha’s own path continues to inspire followers today. What Is Enlightenment In Buddhism? The common impression of enlightenment is a kind of rare religious state that very few people can attain or even imagine. But, the root of the word enlightenment is “bodhi”, which means to “awaken, notice or see clearly.” Enlightenment in Buddhism literally means a state where you see all of reality as it is – ourselves, other people, and the world around us. Opening up to enlightenment in Buddhism As you might guess, this means Buddhism is based on the belief that we do NOT usually see things clearly. Our own past experience and beliefs, says the Buddha, create filters that make it difficult for us to see things as they actually are. It All Began with the Buddha The Buddha based his teachings on his own life as an Indian prince. Everything he thought he knew radically changed when he saw life outside his privileged home. He saw sickness, old age and death – all things his family had protected him from. He became committed to understanding the dilemma of human suffering. After a few years of wandering and seeking, he vowed to sit in one spot until he gained that understanding. He wanted to experience enlightenment first hand. “Enlightenment in Buddhism literally means a state where you see all of reality as it is – ourselves, other people, and the world around us.” For 40 days, he sat under a tree, facing every possible difficulty and temptation. In Buddhist texts, Mara the symbol of illusion, threw all her weapons at him, from doubt, to desire, to fear. Can you imagine what he might have felt and thought, sitting alone for 40 days? In the Buddhist descriptions of his enlightenment, Mara’s weapons became flowers when they touched him. He became the Buddha – the “awakened one.” And he created a clear path for others to follow, regardless of their culture or social status. Is Awakening the Same as Enlightenment? Sometimes the words “awakening” and “enlightenment” are used interchangeably. It’s true they both refer to this kind of seeing through illusion to the reality of life, with one important difference. Awakening is a temporary glimpse. Enlightenment is a lasting transformation. Anyone, whether or not they consider themselves Buddhist, can have an awakening. This experience can develop after working through a spiritual practice or it can be spontaneous. How to achieve enlightenment? Self-examination and pratice One day, you see the ocean drive you take every morning as the most moving, beautiful thing. Or, in a familiar disagreement with your partner, their point of view is suddenly obvious and you see a new way to connect. Enlightenment is also seen as escape from the cycle of death and rebirth that Buddhists believe people pass through, until they are free of suffering. When you become enlightened, you are free in your lifetime. Individual enlightenment is seen as the ultimate attainment in Theravada Buddhism, one of the main branches of Buddhism. What is Enlightenment Like? You have probably heard the term nirvana. It has a rich meaning used to describe the state of enlightenment. It refers to an absence of some things and a presence of others. What Enlightenment Isn’t Nirvana or enlightenment is a state without suffering and without concepts. It means living day to day without anxiety, sadness, fear, greed or jealousy. It does not mean those feelings would never come up for you, but you don’t become stuck in them or even believe them. You understand that they come and go – they are impermanent. RELATED: Do Buddhists Believe in God? How to Practice Buddhism For Beginners How Did Buddhism Spread? Enlightenment also doesn’t mean being indifferent to the suffering of others. Nirvana is a state of deep compassion and the desire to help everyone on the path. What Enlightenment Is The word nirvana means “to blow out,” like you would blow out a candle. Nirvana puts out the flame of suffering, so the peace of life shines through. “Enlightenment is seen as escape from the cycle of death and rebirth that Buddhists believe people pass through, until they are free of suffering. When you become enlightened, you are free in your lifetime.” The foundation of nirvana is a still, spacious mind that allows everything you experience to flow through. A person who is enlightened feels a sense of kinship with all beings, recognizing the same “reality” we all share. How to Achieve Enlightenment Buddha believed that enlightenment in this life, not an afterlife, was a real possibility for everyone who was willing to examine themselves and follow his teachings. In Buddhism, succeeding on the path depends on three core practices: Ethical conduct If our philosophical or spiritual beliefs are not mirrored in our actions, they lack power. Buddhism offers clear guidelines to live with honesty, kindness and an attitude of non-harming toward all things. Wisdom and insight This is both a goal of the path and something we can practice along the way. Wisdom comes through seeing the impermanence at the centre of experience – thoughts, feelings and situations all come and go. Meditation Buddhism regards meditation as the ultimate mind training. Because our minds are so distractible, meditation is the way to develop the stable mind needed to see reality clearly, without fear or distortion. Enlightened buddhist Takeaway: What is Enlightenment in Buddhism? The ideas of suffering and enlightenment are not in any way about blame. In fact, they are deeply grounded in compassion. They say, “This is the way all of us live sometimes! There’s nothing wrong with you, but there is a way to be at peace.” Still, is enlightenment relevant to modern life? You might reflect on questions like these to answer this question: If you exchange the word “suffering” for loneliness, worry, guilt, anxiety or sadness, do you think you “suffer”? Do you think your words, actions and belief can influence how you experience your life – for better or for worse? Have you had moments when you suddenly stepped outside your usual way of seeing or being, and saw things in a totally new way? Enlightenment may seem like an impossible idea or goal. However, even brief moments of awakening can transform your mind. When that happens, the journey towards enlightenment itself becomes an awakening. • Images: shutterstock/Quality Stock Arts, shutterstock/KieferPix happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Acceptance | Altruism | Gratitude Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Can 12 ideas be described as constituting pillars of well-being? Ed Gould examines the ideas of leading psychologist Rick Hanson that can help you optimize your happiness. An expert in his field and creator of the 12 pillars of well-being, Rick Hanson is the author of several books on happiness and well-being. In Hardwiring Happiness, for example, the eminent psychologist discusses how recent scientific studies have led to a greater understanding of the correlations between neural structures and mental well-being. A senior fellow of the Greater Good Science Centre at University College Berkeley, Hanson's scientific ideas have featured in many news features around the world, such as with the BBC and CBS. He has spoken at Oxford, Stanford and Harvard universities, to name but a few. Gratitude: one of the 12 pillars of well-being However, Rick Hanson is probably best known as the founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, an institution that is centred on his idea of the 12 pillars of well-being. Along with his other best-selling publications, Just One Thing, Buddha's Brain and Mother Nature, Hanson produces a free newsletter that has over 100,000 subscribers. Throughout his published work and regular newsletters, Hanson's extensive career has been leading many to the 12 pillars of well-being concept. What are the 12 pillars of well-being? What is it that Rick Hanson can teach us about happiness and contentment and how do the 12 pillars of well-being help us to achieve them? Let's examine Rick Hanson's concept in the first place. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } “Hanson's 12 pillars of well-being are designed to create a simple path that will enable you to grow a dozen strengths needed for better well-being.” The first thing to note about the Rick Hanson model of well-being is that it is two-dimensional. This is not to say that it has no depth, rather that you can imagine the 12 pillars of well-being laid out on a grid. Across the top of the grid are the names of the “Four R's” which constitute the grid's four columns. According to Hanson, these represent the mainstays of well-being: Recognising Resourcing Regulating Relating Running horizontally are three core needs we all have: Safety Satisfaction Connection From either the core needs or from the category of well-being, it's then possible to get to each of the 12 pillars. For example, where Resourcing coincides with Connection, the pillar is named as “Confidence”. Alternatively, where Regulating and Safety intersect, the pillar would be “Calm”. Because the 12 pillars of well-being are arranged, or, more accurately, can be thought of in this way, it's possible to truly understand which each one represents. “Mindfulness” and “Motivation” are both pillars that connect to the core need of Satisfaction, for example. The 12 Pillars of Well-Being: Dr Rick Hanson How to use the 12 pillars of well-being Hanson's 12 pillar concept is designed to create a simple path that will enable you to grow a dozen strengths needed for better well-being. However, they are not simply healthy habits to get into or new ways of thinking about the world. The pillars are designed to make alterations inside your brain so that you can get the most out of your life. Primarily, Hanson is using the well-known medical phenomenon of neuroplasticity within each of our brains to reorganize neural networks. He's showing us how this can be done for improved mental and lifestyle outcomes. Much as someone who has suffered a brain injury will learn how to perform certain tasks using other parts of their cortex, so the 12 pillars of well-being can help us to rewire our brains for beneficial effects. How does this work? .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } “Hanson's pillars of happiness remind us that our neural networks need rewiring from several different angles at once to achieve a true equilibrium.” You may already work on your self-development in particular ways. For example, you may have embarked on a programme of self-compassion by reaffirming positive things about yourself each day. Under Hanson's 12 pillar model, you are “Recognising” the core need of “Safety” by being self-caring in this way. Every time you go through a ritual of self-caring or take the time to compliment yourself, then you're reinforcing a neural structure at a physical level within the brain. Equally, if you're working on scientifically-proven techniques to improve confidence, such as working on your support network more regularly, then Hanson's model would ascribe this to “Resourcing” your core need for “Connection”. However, these are just individual examples of rewiring neural networks. The point is that having the 12 pillars of well-being in place will help to make sure that you're not missing out on any single element. Love yourself: self-care is one of the pillars of happiness All too often, we identify a need for our inner well-being and focus on that. Although this is perfectly understandable and very human behaviour, it's not always the best route to overall mental well-being. Hanson's pillars of happiness remind us that our neural networks need rewiring from several different angles at once to achieve a true equilibrium. Indeed, he points out that 12 essential elements, or pillars, lie at the heart of improving ourselves, not just one or two. Think of it regarding an athlete training for a competition. In this analogy, if they only work on one or two muscle groups, then they may find improved physical performance in some areas. However, if they neglect the other parts of their body, then they could find themselves going backwards in others. RELATED: The Attitude of Gratitude: 6 Ways it Can Change Your Life 7 Mindfulness Tips For Staying Engaged Top 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice This is what Hanson is teaching us with the brain's need for 12 pillars to be fed at once, from mindfulness to gratitude, and from vitality to learning. As long as we work on each of our three core needs across the four mainstays of well-being, then each of the 12 pillars will contribute to a rewired brain that truly sets us on the path to greater enlightenment and better mental well-being. Each pillar has a role to play What's more, Hanson's 12 pillars of well-being gives us a good idea of how to work on each pillar. As just one example, if we look at the fifth pillar, gratitude, Hanson describes what needs to be done to heighten behaviours that relate to gratitude. He shows us how to take pleasure by releasing inhibitions and focusing on all of our sensory experiences, not just on one or two. Furthermore, under the fifth pillar, he teaches how to take pleasure from every day, even mundane, things. Watch: The 12 Pillars of Well-Being with Dr Rick Hanson Similar advice can be found for each pillar, such as developing a sense of 'unilateral virtue' and 'speaking from the heart' under the tenth pillar of courage. Taken together – and not in isolation from one another – each pillar offers a step on a wider path. Like all journeys, each step forward marks progress but, crucially, will also lead to physical changes in our brains, as well. More information on each of the 12 pillars of well-being and some great instructional videos can be found at the Foundations of Well-Being. ● Images: Colourbox.com, shutterstock/Julia Savalishina Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's a practitioner of Reiki.

Yes, happiness is a choice and not a result of achievements or materialism. From choosing gratitude to quality friendships, maintain a happy vibe with these 8 tips from Calvin Holbrook. As editor of this happiness magazine, you'd be forgiven for thinking that I leap out of bed each morning after a restful slumber with a grin on my face, full of great intentions for the day ahead. Not so! Indeed, for the main part, for me, happiness is a choice, rather than my natural state of being. In fact, like all of us, I’m not happy all the time (let’s face it, that would just be weird). In reality, for me, authentic happiness doesn't signify a lack of negative feelings such as sadness and pain, but an ability to experience a wide spectrum of emotions while managing to appreciate – and stay focused on – the positive things that I do have in my life. According to psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, roughly 50 per cent of our natural happiness level is genetically determined (our so-called happiness set point). I believe my own happiness set point started out lower down the scale, but, with work, I’ve managed to boost it because – over time and consistently – I’ve made the choice to be happy, even when my life circumstances and situation were sending me into a spiral. Choosing kindness is choosing happiness Choosing to be happy is a constant effort, and to be honest, it’s not something that comes naturally. In fact, I’ve had to train myself to think happy. Indeed, like millions of us, I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety, lived through periods of debilitating panic attacks, and dealt with episodes of rumination that have beaten my mental health and happiness down. Along the way, I’ve learned that these problems should not define me or my mood. Indeed, I can still see happiness as a choice, but it requires focus and effort to stay positive (and, of course, professional help or medication when appropriate). Happiness fuels success, not vice versa The majority of people go through life thinking that happiness is something that happens to them as a result of success or something good happening, for example, getting a pay rise or getting 100 new likes on their latest Instagram post. Indeed, lots of people don’t realize that happiness is a choice, and instead go through the motions in life, waiting for joy to pop up and slap them in the face! “No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive to focus on. Since happiness is a choice, find things in your life you’re grateful for.” However, science shows that this type of instant gratification doesn’t really make us happy (not in the long-term, anyway). In fact, there is no magic pill to finding happiness. However, there is one thing that is required to boost well-being, and that is work. Work? Ugh! 'Fraid so. Because happiness is a choice, it needs to be worked at consistently, with effort, care and dedication. In fact, I believe the root to happiness is in the work you put into it. You have to commit to being happy, prioritize it, focus on it, and remain disciplined as much as possible, even in those dark and difficult days – especially on those dark days! If happiness is a choice, how can I work on it? It sounds staggering, but it’s reported that we make around 35,000 remotely conscious decisions every single day. From seemingly inconsequential stuff about choosing what to eat and what clothes to wear, to bigger things like who to love, how to spend our free time, whether to move city or quit the job we feel stuck in. Some of our choices turn out to be great and others not so. What they have in common though is that all of these choices are based in our deep desire to be happy. These choices make up part of our ‘life activity’. As mentioned earlier, genetics make up roughly half of happiness levels. The remainder depends on our circumstances (10 per cent) and this so-called ‘life activity’ (40 per cent). Paws for thought: choose meaningful relationships (pets count!) While we cannot always control our circumstances, we do have more control over our life activity. And if that life activity is said to be responsible for almost 40 per cent of our happiness, we can focus on making better choices here to increase our happiness levels. In fact, we can even make choosing happiness as one life choice! OK, I hear you: all of this is easier said than done. Life is tough. Shit happens. True, there are many challenging things that we will experience in life and we know that the only certainty is change (and the upheaval it can bring). This doesn't mean that all of life is bad, it just means that life isn't easy. But happiness does not come from your circumstances or your situation. Happiness comes from a choice that you make within. Learning how to choose happiness I’ve had to train my brain to choose happiness, even when my circumstances suggested the opposite. I believe I’ve boosted my natural happiness set point by carrying out specific ‘feel happier’ activities. If you're struggling to find the root of happiness, incorporate these eight science-backed tips into your daily life and you may start to feel happier. Stick at it, put in the hard work, and you should see results. 1. Choose gratitude and look on the bright side No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive you can find to focus on. It could be the fact you have a place to live, friends and family that love you, have clothes to wear, or even that you have eyes to see and legs to walk with. There are millions of people in the world that don't have all of these things. RELATED: Top 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice 23 Gratitude Affirmations For Attracting Happiness Gratitude Meditation: 5 Benefits and How to Practise Since happiness is a choice, start finding things in your life that you're grateful for. It could also be seemingly small, general things that we often take for granted, such as the smell of cut grass, the sound of the ocean, etc. Writing these things down in a gratitude journal helps to solidify your happiness further. Develop an attitude of gratitude and jot down three good things about every day: studies have shown that doing this increases optimism, reduces anxiety, and chemically changes the brain to be more positive. 2. Choose to think positively Try to live by the ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ anecdote. Focusing on positive thoughts and trying to reducing negative thinking is easier said than done, but give the following technique a try. Each time you have a negative thought, simply replace it with a positive one. This practice will help to retrain your habitual thought patterns to bring more positive thoughts and happiness into your life. “Happiness is a choice, not a result of something else. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.” Changing perspective on your situation will help you find happiness. If you’ve made a mistake – however big – try to focus on your past achievements instead, visualizing your previous successes and happy times. 3. Choose to smile Turn that frown upside down! One of the most important figures in the fields of mindfulness and meditation, Thích Nhất Hạnh once wrote, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”’ Grinning gains: stay smiling and choose happy Indeed, studies have shown that smiling and other external expressions work as a continual feedback loop, helping to reinforce our internal emotions. A study by scientists at the University of Kansas found that making yourself smile can help lower your heart rate during stressful activities. So, smiling even when we feel down will gradually makes us feel happier (and healthier). Try smiling at strangers, too: as well as being a choice, positivity is contagious. 4. Choose meaningful relationships/interactions Research shows that happier people have rewarding social relationships. Indeed, humans are a social species and need regular contact. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness, with recent studies show it can even be as harmful to mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. "Research shows that happier people have rewarding social relationships. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness.” So, to make a happiness a choice, choose quality friendships. In fact, prioritize being nice to people you don't know also: even a short positive interaction with a stranger has been proven to contribute to boosted well-being. 5. Choose kindness When you choose to do kinds acts for other people, so-called happiness hormones are released, boosting your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of well-being and satisfaction. Endorphin levels also rise, leading to a phenomenon known as a 'helper’s high’. MORE LIKE THIS: The Power of Kindness: the Ripple Effects of Being Nice Human Kindness: Why We Need It More Than Ever 7 Ways to Choose Kindness Every Day Another physical benefit of kindness is that it can help to lower anxiety. Social anxiety is associated with low positive affect (PA), which relates to an individual’s experience of positive moods such as joy, interest, and alertness. A four-week study on happiness from the University of British Columbia found that participants who engaged in kind acts displayed major increases in their PA levels that were maintained during the study duration. Be kind to others and experience a 'helper's high' 6. Choose to be more mindful Mindfulness meditation is an great way to try to increase your happiness levels. Start your day with just 10-15 minutes of meditation, shortly after waking: the immediate heightened inner clarity and focus it will give you will set you up for they day ahead. RELATED: 10 Types of Meditation: Which Style Is Best For You? 9 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature Many studies have shown that meditation can boost happiness levels by reducing stress hormones, shrinking the part of the brain that controls anxiety, and by stopping rumination, amongst other things. And, according to Psychology Today, meditation is the strongest mental practice to reset your happiness set point, thus turning you into a more joyful person and literally rewiring major areas in your brain. 7. Choose a purpose Meaningfulness is a happy factor that you can extend throughout your whole life. Whether it's volunteering, gardening, or becoming politically active, activities with a purpose have been shown to boost people's happiness and reduce stress levels at the same time. A study from the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that people who took part in such activities became 34 per cent less stressed and 18 per cent less sad. 8. Choose to be satisfied Ex-US President Theodore Roosevelt once said, “comparison is the thief of joy.” And in today’s Insta-ready society this rings true more than ever. In a social media savvy world, flaunting your money, travels and other supposed successes or happiness is all too common. However, if happiness is a choice, then comparing yourself to other people will only result in unhappiness. Rate your mates: quality friendships bring happiness In fact, data from a 2010 survey of 19,000 Europeans showed that those who compared their incomes to others were less happy with what they had. The comparisons that were most damaging to happiness were when people compared their incomes to those of school and university friends (even though we know that money can’t buy happiness, right?) Choose to be satisfied with what you have and stop comparing your life to that of others. The takeaway: why happiness is a choice Abraham Lincoln is famously quoted as saying, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” And he was right. Happiness is a choice but also a daily practice that requires time, effort and dedication. By carrying out our suggestions above, you should hopefully start to see some benefits. But, if you still fail to feel happy, take time to think through your actions. Are you doing the things you need to choose happiness or are you letting your emotions take control? If you’re trying to feel happier and you remain down or are struggling with depression, consult with your GP or therapist to seek professional help. Happiness is a choice and choosing help is a also a great step to getting started if you’re feeling blocked. • Images: shutterstock/New Africa, shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri. A, shutterstock/Dmytro Zinkevych, shutterstock/Personal Belongings Choosing happiness becomes easier when you have the right tools to help you. Sign up free to happiness.com today and share and support others in our forums. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Unhappy in Life | Gratitude | Lemonading | Purpose of Life Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, as well being an artist and lover of travel, swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

What is the difference between joy and happiness? Sonia Vadlamani explores the meaning of each emotion and shares tips for cultivating joy and lasting happiness in our lives. Most of us regard happiness and joy as interchangeable, assuming that both terms mean exactly the same thing. So, does this mean you’re feeling joyous when you’re happy and vice versa? Not quite. While joy and happiness are both positive emotions, they differ in how we experience them and the role they play in our lives. While this may seem confusing, let's try to clarify the difference between joy and happiness – and the similarities as well – and explore whether it's possible to experience both emotions simultaneously. So, what exactly is joy? Joy is a profound, innate emotion that is conceptually on the same plane as other positive emotions like happiness, elation and gladness, but is rooted in a sense of purpose, meaningful connections, and heightened empathy. Indeed, individuals who experience sympathetic or appreciative joy tend to have greater life satisfaction and a deeper sense of inner peace. And how do we truly define happiness? Happiness is a state that many of us strive to achieve, yet its definition varies from person to person. Positive psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky describes happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.” It’s helpful to remember that the answers for joy vs happiness aren’t the same for everyone. This is because the framework of happiness for each of us is shaped by where we grew up, how we’ve lived, our culture, and unique life experiences. As a result, each of us may describe happiness and how we pursue it in our own distinct way. Joy ride: journeying to happiness However, we often place the onus of happiness on an external cause – waiting for a favourable event, circumstance or person – to make it happen. For me, it was usually, “I’ll be happy when I finally visit Paris,” or “if I ever meet my favourite Bollywood star in person,” or “when I can get a salary hike.” In other words, many peopl view happiness is future-oriented, tied to chance, and dependent on conditions beyond our control. What's the difference between joy and happiness? Happiness often relies on the people, events, situations in our lives. We constantly hope and expect these events, people and circumstances to align with our expectations, believing that this will result in happiness. “Joy is a profound, innate emotion that is rooted in a sense of purpose, meaningful connections, and heightened empathy.” When it comes to joy vs happiness, it helps to know that while happiness is largely dependent on external circumstances, joy is a deeper, more intrinsic feeling. Joy can be seen as the fulfillment we receive from our sense of purpose and leading a meaningful life, whereas happiness is a fleeting emotion tied to favourable outcomes. Joy versus happiness: the psychology Dr Martin Seligman, widely regarded as the father of positive psychology, describes happiness as a sum of three distinct components: Pleasure, or the sensory experiences consisting of feelings like excitement and satisfaction. Engagement, or deep involvement in an activity that allows you to achieve flow state – a feeling of complete involvement and enjoyment. Meaning, or having a sense of purpose in life that results in a feeling of fulfillment. This indicates that genuine happiness goes beyond momentary pleasure or external circumstances – it’s a balanced, lasting state of being that arises from these three components working in tandem. With this perspective, true happiness begins to resemble joy, narrowing the scope for a joy vs happiness contention. Is it possible to feel joy and happiness simultaneously? Indeed, it's possible to feel joy and happiness at the same time. Interestingly, joy can also coexist with grief or sorrow, given the emotional complexity humans are capable of. MORE LIKE THIS: Discover the 10 Keys to Happier Living Cherophobia: the Fear of Happiness Explained Happiness: Why It's An Inside Job “Having moments when we feel joyful and happy, savouring that, and deeply engaging with what you care about might actually be a better ideal than expecting high and unchanging amounts of joy,” says psychology professor Dr Erik Nook, who also directs the Logic of Emotion Lab at Princeton. 5 reliable ways to cultivate joy and happiness We now understand the difference between joy and happiness, but what if we could nurture happiness and joy in our lives at the same time? A 2022 study by Julia Krasko et al. found that the likelihood of achieving lasting happiness – and thereby joy and a high level of well-being – increase significantly when we pursue the multiple aspects of happiness simultaneously. Here are some ways to cultivate lasting happiness and fulfill a sense of purpose in our lives: 1. Develop a positive attitude In today’s fast-paced digital world, it’s easy to fall into negative patterns like the comparison trap and self-limiting thoughts. However, positive thinking encourages us to look at the brighter side in every situation and regard adversity as a stepping stone toward growth. Meaning relationships cultivate joy A 2014 study suggests that prioritizing positivity can be an effective approach to pursue happiness. By consciously reframing our perspective and incorporating playfulness, when life gives us lemons we can practise so-called “lemonading”, thus turning difficult times into prospects for resilience and joy. 2. Invest in meaningful relationships An ongoing Harvard study, which began in 1938 during the Great Depression, concludes that more than fame and money, it’s embracing community and being in close relationships that shows us how to find happiness. “Loneliness turns out to be toxic,” explains Dr Robert Waldinger, the fourth director of this study. Indeed, the quality of our relationships and how they make us feel has a direct impact on our health and well-being. Finding your tribe – or surrounding yourself with the right people – can help you derive a deeper sense of belonging, prevent loneliness, and spark joy in your life. 3. Plan ahead Most of us lead busy lives, and the daily grind can quickly leave us overwhelmed. Add to this mix the uncertainty and stress from poor planning, and our day can feel entirely derailed. Let’s face it: what remains unplanned often remains undone. This is why it’s important to plan ahead and stay on track. “Joy and happiness may seem interchangeable, but the underlying difference between joy and happiness is in their nature – while joy is innate and perpetual, happiness is transient and often influenced by external factors.” Moreover, research suggests that productive people tend to be happier, as the sense of accomplishment and autonomy from fulfilling tasks planned for the day results in greater happiness and lower stress levels. With this in mind, productivity hacks can be powerful tools to plan your day and cultivate lasting happiness. 4. Do more of what fuels your purpose A study by UCLA researchers found a strong connection between a sense of purpose and eudaimonic happiness, or the deep fulfillment one derives from leading a meaningful life. According to the study, individuals with a clear sense of purpose not only experienced higher levels of positive emotions like happiness, but they were also healthier, with lower stress and anxiety levels. Volunteering helps you find purpose and build community In addition to being an efficient way to make your time matter, having a purpose can also prevent you from feeling lost in life. And, it doesn’t have to be tied only to your business or career goals – volunteering, mentoring, or helping others with random acts of kindness can bring a sense of satisfaction and lasting joy as well. 5. Cultivate tranquillity In other words, find what gives you true peace and lasting contentment, rather than just fleeting moments of happiness, and make it a part of your daily routine. Meditation is a consistent way to cultivate inner peace, improve your mood, enhance mindfulness, and boost happiness levels. If you like being in the outdoors, set aside time for forest bathing or hiking periodically, as reconnecting with nature is proven to alleviate stress and boost well-being. Try simplifying your life Living simply, or minimizing consumption and the pursuit of material possessions, can have a profound impact on your outlook, health and happiness. It can help you shift your focus from external distractions like social media and binge-watching toward self-reflection and gratitude. Additionally, it creates more time for you to strengthen your relationships and cultivate meaningful connections – widely recognized as one of the keys to lasting happiness. The takeaway: joy versus happiness Joy and happiness may seem interchangeable at first glance, but they are distinctly different. Indeed, the underlying difference between joy and happiness is in their nature – while joy is innate and perpetual, happiness is transient and often influenced by external factors. The good news is that we can choose happiness by consciously reframing our perspectives and being intentional about where we invest our time and energy. ● Images: shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri A, shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri A, shutterstock/JLco Julia Amaral happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Motivation | Positive psychology | Volunteering Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Both external and internal distractions can leave us unable to concentrate on the task at hand. So, if you regularly asks yourself 'why can't I focus?', these 8 tips from Sonia Vadlamani will teach you how to avoid distractions, concentrate better, and get that to-do list blitzed! Picture this: It’s a new working day and you’re determined to be productive. You sit at your desk, open the laptop, and review your schedule when suddenly your phone buzzes. A flood of app and social media notifications pulls your attention away from getting stuck in. You start working through your emails when someone pings you with a question on the work chat channel. Before you know it, you're being sucked away from your goals and failing to tackle your to-do list. Frustrated, you wonder, “Why do I get distracted easily?” Digital distractions such as these above plague us all in the age of smartphones, social media and remote working.There's no one-size-fits-all reason for why we get distracted, but understanding our individual triggers and personality types can help us understand how to avoid distractions. Why can’t I focus? Internal vs external issues Distractions come in different forms. Some distractions are internal – racing thoughts, lingering feelings, unresolved issues, etc – that arise from within. Such internal distractions stem from our state of mind and physical well-being also – stress, anxiety, hunger, lack of sleep, and illness can weaken focus, leaving us to ponder how to avoid distractions. External distractions, on the other hand, come from the world around you. Technology is a major culprit here – social media, shopping portals, and streaming services can consume precious hours even before you realize it. However, if used correctly, technology can also help you maximize your time, boost productivity and ensure you get shit done. Other external distractions stem from your surroundings, such as work environments, family responsibilities, and background noise, all of which can weaken focus and impact productivity. Hands free? Multitasking doesn't help you to focus better However, while distractions affect everyone, their impact varies from person to person. For example, researchers Furnham and Bradley studied how distractions like music or noise impact the retention ability in a group of extroverts and introverts. The study revealed that introverts retained more information and could recall greater detail in silence but performed substantially worse when exposed to music or noise from, say, a television in the background. In contrast, extroverts scored higher for recall ability with background music. RELATED: The Power of Silence: 10 Benefits of Cultivating Peace and Quiet When wondering “why do I get distracted easily,” you also need to factor in the role task enjoyment plays, which is a key factor in maintaining focus. Naturally, our interests vary – what appeals to one person may feel tedious to another. However, researchers agree that task enjoyment plays a crucial role in helping individuals self-regulate their focus and resist distractions to finish a task, particularly if the task involves a reward or advancement upon completion. How to avoid distractions Indeed, living in an interruption-heavy environment can affect our ability to concentrate on the task at hand, leaving us frustrated over stalled progress. Fortunately, there are strategies you can utilize to stay focused if you’re easily distracted: 1. List your distractions – then avoid them The most effective way to tackle the question “Why do I get distracted easily” is to start identifying the common interruptions in your environment and compile a list. You can use this knowledge to your advantage by removing these disturbances from your environment or at least limiting the interruptions for the window when you’re working or studying. “In addition to alleviating stress and boosting well-being, regular meditation practice can teach us how to avoid distractions and improve focus.” For instance, social media notifications appear high on my list of distractions, so my answer to “how to not get distracted” is to simply disable them when I’m working on an important project. Avoiding these notifications significantly improves my ability to concentrate on the task at hand. 2. Avoid multitasking Juggling multiple assignments can quickly become overwhelming and stressful, especially if you tackle them all at once. While multitasking can make you seem superhuman, frequent task-switching actually undermines productivity. A study by Nick Yeung et al. revealed that multitasking places a heavy cognitive load on the brain. Avoid distractions and keep mobiles at a distance Each time you switch tasks, your mind must recalibrate the settings of the task – remembering where you left off previously, refocusing on the new task, and repeating this process over and over. Rather than being a time-saver, this constant shifting weakens your focus and turns into a major distraction. 3. Improve your sleep cycle and lifestyle An unhealthy lifestyle, irregular sleep, poorly timed meals, and inadequate hydration can create internal distractions, often leaving you wondering “Why can’t I focus?”. Indeed, there is mounting evidence that hunger, thirst, and sleep deprivation can impair attention and decision-making. Prioritize your wellbeing – maintaining a regular sleep schedule, eating a nutrient-rich diet, and regular exercise – can significantly enhance focus. Researchers Y.K. Chang et al. found that even short bursts of physical activity, such as a quick stroll, hike, or a 20-minute jog can improve concentration and uplift mood. 4. Cultivate mindfulness The question “Why can’t I focus?” has bugged me several times, even outside of work or study sessions. If you’ve ever found yourself zoning out during conversations with friends or family movie nights, lost in thoughts of deadlines and to-do lists, mindfulness can be your answer to how not to get distracted and stay in the present. “If you're wondering “why can’t I focus,” try setting reasonable expectations of productivity: we focus better when we don’t work incessantly.” Mindfulness is the anchor that helps expand our awareness of the present moment by focusing on our thoughts, feelings, and emotions at a given point. Practising mindfulness can be your answer to how to not get distracted so often, by training your attention to stay in the present moment. This, in turn, can increase your chances to power through your to-do list at the desired pace with fewer distractions and thus greater efficiency. 5. Try meditation to improve your focus When wondering “why can’t I focus,” meditation can be your means to cultivate a sense of inner stillness and train the mind to resist distracting thoughts. In his book, The Art of Stillness, Pico Iyer, the eminent travel writer says, “The idea behind Nowhere – choosing to sit still long enough to turn inward – is at heart a simple one. If your car is broken, you don’t try to find ways to repaint its chassis; most of our problems – and therefore our solutions, our peace of mind – lie within.” Can't focus? Meditation can help build concentration skills In addition to alleviating stress and boosting well-being, regular meditation practice can teach us how to avoid distractions and improve our ability to focus on the task at hand, much like repairing the engine rather than repainting the car. 6. Set helpful boundaries The simplest answer to how to avoid distractions at work is to set healthy boundaries to prevent external distractions such as interruptions from co-workers, the endless slew of notifications on co-working apps, and background chatter. RELATED: ‘I Hate My Job!’ Cultivate These 6 Traits and Love Your Work Feeling Overwhelmed at Work? Here Are 9 Ways to Manage It Mindfulness at Work: 6 Productive Tips If you’re wondering how to stay focused while studying, the same principle applies. By taking simple yet effective measures – muting phone notifications, clearly communicating your availability to others, and saying 'no' to responsibilities you can’t handle – you’ll find your distractions dwindling and your productivity soaring. 7. Take regular breaks We often develop a skewed perception of productivity, so much so that we consider a break from work or studying as “unproductive” or unhelpful. However, I’ve noticed that working longer stretches sometimes leads to a creative impasse, whereas stepping away – in the form of making a cup of tea or a short stroll just outside – often has enabled me to come up with creative solutions with greater ease. “Avoid distractions at work by setting healthy boundaries to prevent external distractions such as interruptions from co-workers and background chatter.” Indeed, research consistently shows that taking regular breaks during work-days can enhance productivity as well as employees’ ability to innovate. Another study by DeskTime revealed that most productive people found it ideal to take a 17-minute break after working for 52 minutes in a stretch. If you're wondering “why can’t I focus,” try setting reasonable expectations of productivity: you may realize that we focus better when we don’t work incessantly. The takeaway: avoiding distractions Learning how to avoid distractions needs time and patience. Indeed, not all distractions are within our control, but we can choose how we respond to them and manage their impact. As you become aware of the time sinks specific to your environment, you’ll gradually develop a rhythm that enhances focus and allows for deep work, thus helping you achieve the desired results. While the tips above will help you minimize distractions, true focus arises from cognitive control – the ability to align your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours with the demands of the current task while consciously suppressing disruptive impulses. Ultimately, how to not get distracted is a matter of self-regulation. • Images: shutterstock/Andrey_Popov, shutterstock/Prostock-studio, shutterstock/Dmytro Zinkevych happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Compassion | Nature | Self care | Retreats Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Obsessive thoughts are damaging to both mental and physical health. Discover how to stop thinking about something – or someone – with these 9 techniques from Dee Marques. Ever found yourself replaying the same thought in your head over and over? Maybe it's a work mistake that keeps haunting you, a conversation where you wish you'd said something different, or a future scenario you can't stop worrying about. Sounds familiar? That’s because most of us tend to overthink to some extent. Obsessive thinking can be exhausting and in some cases, even distressing. The good news is that you can regain control over your thoughts. In this article, we’ll explore why we fixate on certain thoughts, how to recognise when they become unhealthy, and some tips on how to stop thinking about something when it's affecting your well-being. What does it mean if you can't stop thinking about something We all overthink from time to time. In fact, it’s estimated that our brain generates more than 6,000 thoughts per day, and an astonishing 95% of those are thought to be repetitive. Can't stop thinking about something? You cam change that With that said, not all repetitive thinking is cause for concern. Let’s break it down: Regular overthinking. Overthinking can be a natural response to stress or uncertainty. If you have an upcoming exam, a job interview, or an important decision to make, it’s normal to mentally rehearse different scenarios. This type of overthinking is a part of problem-solving and shouldn’t be concerning. Rumination When repetitive thoughts become intrusive and unproductive, rumination can take over. Here, the brain isn’t trying to problem solve, but instead keeps replaying past mistakes, regrets, or worst-case scenarios. Approximately 73% of young adults experience some level of rumination, although in people aged 60 and over, this figure reduces to 20%. OCD and anxiety disorders In more extreme cases, repetitive thoughts may be linked to conditions like Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). People with OCD often experience unwanted, distressing and obsessive thoughts that lead to compulsive behaviours. Research suggests that around 1.2% of adults in the UK have OCD. Anxiety disorders affect more than 300 million people worldwide, and over 5.5% of the UK population. When is overthinking harmful? So, how can you tell that you’ve gone beyond 'regular' overthinking and into that more dangerous, obsessive manner of thinking? Here are some signs to watch out for: • You lose sleep because your mind won’t switch off. • The same thought interferes with your ability to concentrate, or to be present. • Your thoughts are affecting your mood beyond your control, making you feel anxious or hopeless. • So-called 'paralysis by analysis' – where the fear of making mistakes stops you from acting. • You keep replaying past situations or future scenarios, but never come close to a solution. • You feel mentally drained and struggle to enjoy things as you normally would. • Your obsessive thinking is leading to compulsive behaviours, like constantly checking or seeking reassurance. The harmful effects of obsessive thinking If left unchecked, repetitive thoughts can take a toll on multiple areas of your life. You can become more at risk of experiencing mental health issues like anxiety, stress, and depression, which affects up to 50% of people with OCD-related disorders. Obsessive thoughts can also negatively affect your physical health, causing headaches, muscle tension, and even digestive problems – in addition to sleep disruption, which is harmful to your overall metabolism and well-being. “Your brain can’t handle two thoughts at the same time, so immersing yourself in an activity that demands your full attention leaves no room for intrusive thoughts.” Being unable to control obsessive thoughts can put a strain on relationships, since overthinking often causes unnecessary internal conflict and constant doubt that pushes people away. And lastly, far from helping you be logical and think things though, obsessive thinking actually impairs problem-solving abilities. Instead of finding solutions, you remain stuck in a vicious circle of worry, what ifs, and stress. Intrusive thoughts can become damaging How to stop thinking about something If obsessive thoughts are taking over and you're wondering how to stop thinking about something (or someone), the key is being determined to break the cycle. Here are some practical things to try: 1. Catch-Check-Change technique Try to use this reframing technique often, until it becomes as automatic as your obsessive thoughts! First, catch the thought and place it into an “unhelpful thought” category, such as blaming yourself, worst-case scenario, black-and-white thinking, or ignoring positive facts. Then, fact-check the thought. Is it actually happening? Are there alternative explanations? Are you fabricating evidence in your head? What are other potential outcomes? With that in mind, change the thought so it has a more neutral tone. You can find examples and a template for this technique here. 2. Mindfulness meditation Mindfulness teaches you to observe your thoughts without getting caught up in them. Research shows that mindfulness and meditation skills can reduce the mental discomfort in OCD patients, so these tools surely can help with other forms of overthinking too. 3. Write it down One practical way to stop thinking about someone or something is to transfer the thought out of your head onto paper. Writing thoughts down and describing the context where they appear can help clear your mind and put thoughts and their associated emotions out there, instead of keeping them endlessly looping inside your head. “One practical way to stop thinking about something or someone is to transfer the thought out of your head onto paper.” You can jot obsessive thoughts down as they come or you may want to incorporate specific journalling techniques. Writing not only helps release disturbing thoughts, but can also help with the following tip below. How to stop thinking about something? Write it out! 4. Identify triggers You can go back to what you’ve written to pinpoint the triggers that fuel your overthinking. It could be scrolling through social media, discussing a certain topic, talking to a specific person, etc. Identifying the trigger is crucial if you want to set boundaries and reduce exposure to the things that activate repetitive thought patterns. MORE LIKE THIS: What's the Point of Life? 3 Questions You Need to Ask Yourself Feeling Lost in Life? Move On In 7 Steps Inner Peace: the 3 Key Techniques to Finding It 5. Set a ‘worry time’ The problem with intrusive thoughts is that they can easily take over your mood and mindset all day. “Not thinking those thoughts” may not be realistic at first, but you can still limit their impact by allocating a 10-minute worry window – but remember to “close that window” once the time is up. 6. Distract yourself Your brain can’t handle two thoughts at the same time, so immersing yourself in an activity that demands your full attention leaves no room for intrusive thoughts. Distractions could include doing a puzzle, memorising and reciting a favourite poem or song, playing memory games, watching a comedy show, going out to the movies, etc. RELATED: Flow State and Happiness: How to Achieve It 7. Talk it out Voicing your thoughts out loud can break the cycle of overthinking, in a similar way to writing them out. Although at first you may feel embarrassed or vulnerable, talking to a trustworthy friend or relative can help you realise that things are not as overwhelming as they feel in your head. The old adage 'a problem shared is a problem halved' really rings true. 8. Get moving Exercise is one of the most effective ways of limiting the distressing effects of overthinking. In addition to releasing endorphins (natural stress relievers), exercise also physically pulls you out of your head and into the present moment. Ideally, you want to make this a part of your routine. According to some studies, even 10-minute sessions 3-4 days per week can help shift your focus. Try mindful running or – if you're feeling brave – wild swimming. Exercise is a great way to take your mind off things 9. Seek professional health If you’ve tried all of the above and still don’t know how to stop thinking about something, don’t hesitate to seek support. A mental health professional can offer strategies tailored to your situation and help you break free from intrusive thought cycles. Takeaway: how to stop thinking about something Overthinking can feel like an endless battle, but you can win this one. By understanding why you obsess over things and using the tips we described in this article, you can figure out how to stop thinking about something and improve the quality of your life and overall well-being. The key is to remember that thoughts are just that: 'thoughts'. They don’t define you, and they don’t have to control you. You are not your thoughts. With the right strategies, you can train your brain to focus on the present and embrace a calmer and clearer mindset. ● Images: shutterstock/fizkes, shutterstock/Gladskihk Tatiana, shutterstock/Lysenko Andrii, shutterstock/veronaman happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Work life balance | Kindness | Compassion Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Ever think 'why do I get overwhelmed so easily'? Learn how to stop feeling swamped with these 8 strategies from Dee Marques, from practising conscious breathing to setting boundaries. Do you ever feel like you’ve got 100 tabs open in your brain, and they’re all loading at once? Feeling overwhelmed, swamped in tasks or deluged has become a common experience for most of us. Time goes by fast, responsibilities pile up, and before you know it, you’re drowning in to-do lists, unanswered messages, and deadlines that multiply overnight. A 2018 study from the Mental Health Foundation charity found that nearly 75% of UK adults felt so stressed during the previous 12 months, that they felt unable to cope. And across the Atlantic, a report from the American Psychological Association found that 27% of adults in the US feel so overwhelmed they can’t handle daily responsibilities. But why is this happening? Factors like digital dependence, constant social media comparisons, and the expectation to always be ‘on’ can make us feel stretched too thin as we increasingly try to juggle multiple roles. Many are feeling overwhelmed at work, in their personal lives, by their financial situation, or even due to global political and environmental worries. Stop the swamp: here's what to do when you're overwhelmed So, if you sometimes wonder 'why do I get overwhelmed so easily', keep reading. We will show you how to stop feeling overwhelmed so that you can redirect thoughts and emotions to a healthier – and calmer – state. What does it mean to feel overwhelmed? Essentially, being overwhelmed means being under a cognitive and emotional overload. It happens when your mind perceives that the demands on you go beyond your ability to cope. Unlike stress, which can sometimes be motivating, overwhelm can be paralysing. Your brain struggles to prioritise and even simple tasks can feel undoable, so you tend to procrastinate or avoid decision-making. In other cases, feeling overwhelm means you rush from task to task, often not finishing any or doing them inefficiently. “When overwhelmed, your nervous system goes into overdrive. Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, minimising the stress response.” And although the feeling of being overwhelmed may feel similar to anxiety, they’re not the same thing. Overwhelm is often about too much and too fast, leaving you mentally and emotionally drained; whereas anxiety doesn’t always appear in response to external stressors, but it’s more of an underlying state of worry. 10 signs and symptoms of being overwhelmed If you're feeling many of these mental and physical health symptoms below, it could mean that you're feeling overwhelmed with life. 1. Mental fog – Struggling to focus or think clearly. 2. Irritability – Snapping at others or feeling emotionally sensitive. 3. Procrastination – Feeling unable to start tasks, which get constantly postponed. 4. Physical exhaustion – You feel drained ,even if you’ve had enough sleep. 5. Overreacting – Small hurdles, like the computer taking a long time to start or not finding the car keys, trigger a disproportionate reaction. 6. Social withdrawal – Preferring to be alone as you feel embarrassed or misunderstood. 7. Tearfulness – Feeling emotionally flooded and crying easily. 8. Loss of motivation – Struggling to find a strong reason to get things done. 9. Physical symptoms – Digestive issues, rapid or irregular heartbeat, unexplained dizziness, headaches, or muscle pain, often caused by holding stress in your body. 10. Insomnia – Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. Causes of feeling overwhelmed When experiencing one or more of the above symptoms, it’s normal to think, 'why do I get overwhelmed so easily'? There’s usually no single cause of overwhelm, but it tends to develop from multiple factors. For example: • Too many responsibilities: Work, family, social commitments, financial pressures, etc. • Perfectionism: Holding yourself to unrealistic standards. • Digital overstimulation: Constant notifications, emails, and social media noise. • Not making room for rest: Insufficient sleep or downtime to recharge. • Emotional overload: Relationship conflicts, personal struggles, or grief. • Unrealistic expectations: Feeling like you should be able to handle it all. • Poor boundaries: Saying yes to too many things. • Major life changes: Moving countries, getting married/divorced, midlife crisis, having a child, etc. It’s important to understand that none of the above mean there’s something wrong with you, but rather, that you need a different strategy so you know how to stop feeling overwhelmed. How to stop feeling overwhelmed: 8 strategies Feeling overloaded with life and struggling to cope? Here's what to do when overwhelmed: 1. Take a moment to breathe When overwhelmed, your nervous system goes into overdrive. Through deep breathing, you can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps minimise the stress response. Try the 4-7-8 technique, where you inhale deeply for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, and exhale slowly for 8 seconds. Or have a go at conscious breathing. Deep breathing and meditation offer relief when overwhelmed 2. Release the mental load When thoughts spiral, get them out of your head and onto paper. For example, you can do a brain dump of everything on your mind. This helps declutter your thoughts, increase your self-awareness, and can also make it easier to clarify your priorities. 3. One step at the time Big tasks feel overwhelming because your brain sees them as one massive job. The trick is breaking them into smaller and more manageable steps or micro tasks. MORE LIKE THIS: Navigating Life: 10 Tips For Overcoming Obstacles How to Get Shit Done: 8 Productivity Hacks Why Can't I Focus? 8 Tips on How to Avoid Distractions For example, instead of “clean the house”, break it down into mini-tasks like clear the kitchen countertops, load the dishwasher, Hoover the sitting room carpet, etc. 4. Reduce sensory input Our brains aren’t designed to handle constant notifications, background noise and multiple screens. Try putting your phone on 'Do Not Disturb' or leaving it in a different room – and don’t wait to be overwhelmed to do this. You can also replace social media scrolling with listening to calm music or white noise. The idea is that reducing external noise helps reduce mental clutter too. 5. Move your body Exercise is a powerful stress reliever because it releases endorphins. What’s more, physical movement shifts your focus away from overwhelming thoughts. Just 10-15 minutes of movement a day can help de-stress your mind and energise your body. “Strategies like deep breathing, breaking tasks down, and setting boundaries can learn how to stop feeling overwhelmed and feel more in control of your life.” And you don’t need to sign up for the gym. Things like a brisk walk outdoors, gentle stretching, yoga, or simply dancing around your bedroom to your favourite songs at home can help. 6. Set boundaries Being overwhelmed often means you have taken on too much, whether at home or work. This is why it’s crucial to protect your energy by setting boundaries and saying 'no' when you already have too much on your plate. This can mean setting clear working hours and not checking emails after a certain time, or reducing unnecessary social commitments. Remember: saying 'no' isn’t selfish: it’s self-care. Set boundaries and say 'no' when overcome with tasks 7. Focus on what’s within your power Worrying about things beyond your control is a sure way to get overwhelmed. Instead, shift your attention to what you can influence. You can even write it down and keep the list in a visible place. RELATED: The Time is Now: How to Stop Worrying About the Future Just as important, don’t beat yourself up while you do this. There may be only a few things within your power, but this is temporary, and not a reflection of your worth. 8. Ask for support Overwhelm feels isolating, but you don’t have to deal with it alone. Feeling overwhelmed is common, so don’t avoid sharing your feelings out of shame. Talking to a trusted friend can help put things into perspective. And if overwhelm is interfering with daily life, seeking professional support from a therapist or support group can help you learn coping strategies. The takeaway: what to do when overwhelmed Feeling overwhelmed isn’t a sign of weakness, and you’re certainly not alone in feeling like this, so don’t allow yourself to feel guilty or frustrated. Overwhelm is a sign that your brain and body need rest and attention. By identifying what’s causing your overwhelm and using the strategies mentioned here, like deep breathing, breaking tasks down, and setting boundaries, you can learn how to stop feeling overwhelmed and feel more in control of your life. Remember that you don’t have to do everything at once. When dealing with feeling overwhelmed, take one step at the time, and be kind to yourself in the process. • Images: shutterstock/Prostock-studio, shutterstock/Miljan Zivkovic, shutterstock/Krakenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Work life balance | Resilience | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Meditation is more popular than ever, but many common misconceptions about the practice still remain. So, from aiming to control your thoughts to only meditating cross-legged, Ann Vrlak debunks seven common meditation myths. Meditation is one of the most natural, simple activities we can do, but, ironically, many people find it difficult. There are some good reasons why meditation practice can be challenging, especially for beginners, but one of the biggest reasons is the many misconceptions about meditation and what’s supposed to happen when you do it. Whether you have tried meditation before or not, we’d like to debunk some of the most common meditation myths. We hope this might inspire you to try again – or give this healthy habit a chance. Myth 1. Meditation Means I Have to Control My Thoughts The belief that you have to control your thoughts is the biggest misconception about meditation. Thinking is what your mind does and, generally, it is very good at it! When you try to stop your thinking, your thinking will usually become more active. It’s like trying to stop a river from flowing. Meditation is about learning to relate to your thinking differently. In particular, a core meditation skill is observing your thoughts. To stay with the river analogy, it’s like standing on the shore of the river watching thoughts go by, rather than being carried away by it. Meditation is about observing thoughts, not controlling them This objectivity helps you to better understand what you think about and how your mind behaves. You become familiar with thoughts that upset you or lead you toward bad decisions. Most importantly, it strengthens your “observing mind,” the part of your attention that can be a calm, caring witness of your experiences. This is a much more powerful skill than it may sound. Myth 2: Meditation Makes People Check Out What image comes to mind when you think of someone meditating? It might be someone sitting cross-legged on the floor, with their eyes closed. This image seems to suggest someone who is out of the flow of life, “not letting things affect them.” “Believing you have to control your thoughts is the biggest misconception about meditation. Thinking is what your mind does and, generally, it is very good at it!” Like some meditation misconceptions, there is a hint of truth in this, and a lot of misunderstanding. Often meditation is done in a quiet place, away from daily activity, so you can learn to focus your attention – where you can develop that objectivity we just mentioned. This builds your self-awareness and balance to help you manage life’s challenges with less stress. You become more aware, more engaged – not less. Indeed, meditation deepens your connection with yourself which helps you feel more connected to – and concerned for – others. Myth 3. Meditation Can Only be Done Sitting Cross-legged The image we mentioned before of someone sitting cross-legged on a cushion is traditional, that’s true. This posture puts the body into an aligned, alert position that supports your nervous system. But, in fact, you can meditate lying down or in any position you like because meditation is for everyone. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Meditate in Bed for Beginners Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature Mindfulness Vs Meditation: What's the Difference? Fitness, age, injury or energy level does not determine whether or not you can benefit from meditation. In fact, there is an ancient meditation practice called yoga nidra that's done lying down and is a deep relaxation experience for mind and body. Myth 4. I Should Feel Peaceful or Relaxed When I Meditate What if you feel anxious or agitated when you meditate? Does it mean “you’re not doing it right” or “you can’t meditate”? The myth that you will always feel peaceful or relaxed when you meditate is one of the most unfortunate misconceptions about meditation. You can practise meditation anywhere: there are no rules These feelings are, in fact, common first experiences with meditation – and sometimes a recurring one. Why? Because you are slowing down and paying attention to your mind and body in ways you do not usually do. Often there is some stress or an uncomfortable emotion under the surface that we are too busy to notice. Meditation isn’t causing the discomfort, it’s just showing you it’s there. From here, you learn skills to help you respond to your challenges with mindfulness and compassion. Meditation is not about achieving any particular feeling. It’s about learning to be with your experience, as it is, with kindness and curiousity. If you feel anxious, the practice is to be kind with it – not to try to get rid of it. The goal is to grow your ability to be with your experiences, good and bad, without resisting and judging. Myth 5. I Just Don’t Have Time to Meditate There is a popular saying in meditation circles: “If you don’t have five minutes to meditate, you should meditate for 30.” In other words, if your days are so busy that taking five minutes to breathe and be present seems like too much, you need even more of a break! This is a meditation misconception that is easy to accept because modern living does encourage us to do more and more, faster and faster. But, taking breaks to pause, rest our minds and refresh our energy make us more productive, not less. “While there are good reasons to use traditional meditation postures, there are also many benefits to practising meditation lying down or any position you like.” Not only that, but there are many ways to take short meditation breaks in your day. Use a daily activity as a reminder to do a three-minute conscious breathing exercise, like when you're getting ready for bed or getting dressed for work in the morning. Developing a habit of mini-meditations is a wonderful way to create restful spaces in your day. A little meditation can go a very long way. Myth 6. I Need to Have a Spiritual or Religious Belief to Meditate Some of the core meditation practices that are still with us today came out of ancient spiritual traditions. But, those traditions, like Buddhism, have a deep foundation in human psychology and also in equality. MORE LIKE THIS: 10 Types of Meditation: Which Style is Best For You? Meditation For Beginners: Our Top 6 Videos Does Meditation Really Work? Here's What Science Says Meditation was a practice created to help people understand the common causes of suffering and of happiness that affect everyone. There was not, and still is not, any need to believe in any spiritual dogma to meditate. All you need is a desire to better understand yourself to help you lead a happier life. We also now have decades of scientific data that has proven the benefits of meditation, from stress relief to alleviating depression, are shared among secular and non-secular people. Myth 7. Meditation Is Self-Centered Does “going inward” in meditation encourage you to become self-centred? This is one of the more well-meaning misconceptions about meditation. A practice that made you more concerned about yourself than others would not add anything very positive to the world. Meditation doesn't have to be done cross-legged in Lotus position But, meditation is just the opposite. One of the effects of understanding ourselves better through meditation is understanding others better. When you see your own anxiety and work with it compassionately, something automatically happens: you have compassion for others who experience anxiety too. When you relieve your own anxiety through kind attention, you may want to do the same for someone else. Takeaway: meditation myths I hope I've dispelled some of the myths about meditation you may have heard. Especially in the modern world, meditation can seem like an unusual activity, something foreign to our usual way of doing things. It’s true in some ways, but that’s actually a good thing. Taking some time to slow down and breathe, for example, is a simple, healthy antidote to being constantly active. Paying attention to and being kind to your experiences can help you be more at ease in yourself when daily pressures are piling up. If you’d like to try meditation, keep these myths about meditation in mind. Meditation is always meant to be a safe space where you show up as you are, and are met without judgement or expectation. • Images: shutterstock/Monster Ztudio, shutterstock/Max Belchenco, shutterstock/ABO PHOTOGRAPHY happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips Gratitude | Stress Management | Mindfulness Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Feeling lost in life and not knowing what to do next can be paralyzing. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains how to embrace that 'I feel lost' panic we all get sometimes – and then how to move forward in 7 practical steps. ‘I feel lost in life'. Does this saying strike a chord? Have you ever muttered it to yourself in a moment of desperate reflection on the direction you're heading in? Feeling lost in life without the slightest idea where to go next can be daunting and help perpetuate stress. However, it's a common situation, one many of us have experienced (and will continue to experience) throughout our lives. Choosing a college, deciding on a career, or thinking about where to live are just some of the most common situations when you might feel frozen in this way. On the flip side, this feeling of being lost can also surface when you achieve some of your greatest goals and have no clue as what to do next! Indeed, when you undergo colossal life-changing experiences and become someone new, the old plans and ideals could stop resonating with you. So, even if you do discover what you want to do next in your life, at some point in the future this paralyzing fear may come back and set you adrift again. Let me show you what to do when you feel lost and how to draw a new map to creating a meaningful life. 7 steps for when you're feeling lost in life First, a disclosure. It wasn’t so long back that I myself was proclaiming 'I am lost!'. In fact, exactly nine years ago, I earned my degree, top of my class. I immediately got a job at a company and entered the 9 to 5 workforce. It was probably on only the second day that I had an epiphany about the meaninglessness of it all. I realised I was actually feeling lost with my life and decisions. In fact, I pretty much hated my life at that point. So, if you're experiencing a similar moment in your life and struggling to decide how to move on, here are seven steps you can take to make discovering your next move less stressful and more intuitive. 1. Put a stop on the search Do you hear the scary voice repeating how lost you are feeling in your head? Well, I know we're just getting started, but the first thing you need to do is actually put a stop to trying to figure out the answer. Although it may feel like an urgency, chances are, you need to take some time to pause first. Why? Feeling lost in life is a sign that you need to make changes Think of it as a creative problem-solving. It consists of four phases – preparation, incubation, illumination and verification. It’s safe to say that, if you don’t know what to do with your life, you hit an impasse in the process. It’s like trying to force yourself to write a best-selling novel: immediately! It just won’t work. Firstly, you need an intentional delay. Step away from the problem. The break will give your mind time and space for incubation to occur. Fill your time with activities such as walks, exercise, yoga, socialising with the right people, education and any other hobbies. Don’t worry. Your mind will be quietly working on the answer in the background. When we can’t resolve a problem, usually it’s because we’re fixated in our thinking. A break will allow for the habits, patterns and fixations to dissolve. What’s more, it will let the creativity flow in. 2. Prepare the terrain Once your mind has been given a chance to shift perspective, it’s time to go back to exploring the possibilities. However, you need to do it the right way. Make your internal and external environment ready for some soul-searching on why you're feeling lost in life. There is scientific proof for the age-old wisdom advising against making decisions on an empty stomach. A study from the University of Dundee determined that, if we are hungry, we are more likely to seek immediate gratification. The problem is that this tendency does not apply to food choices alone. Hunger negatively affects our financial and interpersonal decisions, too. “Make your internal and external environment ready for some soul-searching on why you're feeling lost in life. Be sure to do it after a good night’s rest and after a hearty, healthy meal.” The same goes for not being rested. Sleep deprivation has severe cognitive and neural consequences. Anyone who, for any reason, has been sleep-deprived, knows well the mind-fog it creates. It becomes impossible to think clearly and make coherent and considered decisions. And what about our environment? An interesting study determined that even lighting can affect the ability to solve problems. According to the findings, what you need is the kind of light that feels right to you. It’s up to you if you prefer ‘warm’ or ‘cool’, or dimmed or bright light. The trick is in making the light in the room elicit a positive mood. Your cognitive abilities will follow along. RELATED: Following Your Bliss: 5 Steps to Get Started What's the Point of Life? How to Find Meaning in Life: 7 Strategies So, when you're ready to explore why you're feeling lost in life, be sure to do it after a good night’s rest and after a hearty, healthy meal. Make your environment work for you. Prepare the terrain, go to a room where you feel good, fix the lighting, and get going. 3. Search deep within: meditate A problem as weighty as feeling lost in life requires going deep to find the solution. Meditation can help you get in touch with your most profound Self. The benefits of meditation have been confirmed over and over again. Indeed, a review of over 160 studies that met the strict criteria determined that meditation has positive effects on emotional and interpersonal issues and cognitive abilities. As little as four days of mindfulness training improved cognitive performance in another study. But how does this relate to you seeking out your future life path? Well, meditation can deliver the clarity of mind and emotion you need when figuring out your purpose in life. It can open the path to communicating with yourself, in a sense. 4. Remember what you used to love When you were a kid or teenager, chances are you never felt lost in life. You simply did whatever it was that you were doing. Yes, it was objectively much easier not to contemplate on what to do with your life: your parents took care of your needs, and you didn’t have anyone’s needs you should be taking care of. Then adult life happened. Nonetheless, there’s a wisdom in the young(er) you that could help you find your way now. Do you remember the state of losing yourself (in a good way)? It could have been reading a book, making art, solving logical or mathematical problems, learning something new, dancing, or exercising. Do you remember a cause for which you used to feel a fire burning inside of you? An idea that made you forget everything as long as you could work towards it? Explore what you really love doing and find your flow state What most probably happened to you in those times is called flow state, a phrase coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. His research concluded that the more ‘flow’ you have in your life, the more resilience, well-being, and fulfilment you will enjoy. So, what does this mean for you at this point? When you feel that your life is off track, a good place to start is to ask yourself: what is it that puts me in a state of ‘flow’? What is it that I used to love doing and believed in? Is there a way to rearrange my life and put such activities and causes at the forefront? 5. Brainstorm: and then limit your choices Once you’ve been through the previous four steps and opened up the search area, it’s time to narrow things down and list some concrete ideas. Do a brainstorming session with yourself. You can make a list, a vision board, a graph – whatever works. Your goal is to think of as many scenarios for yourself as possible. However – once you do, you will then begin to narrow down your choices. Kierkegaard spoke of ‘dizziness of freedom’, the bewildering anxiety we experience when facing the limitlessness of possibilities for ourselves and our lives. Indeed, in the world of empirical research, it has been found that there is such a thing as too many options. When you face ‘choice overload’, you might not be able to make the right call. “When you're feeling lost in life, write your own obituary. Stop and think about how you would most like to be remembered. Think of how want to live your life while you have it.” So, once you have thought of possible routes for yourself, try to sit with each option for some time. See if they still seem right after a while. You will want to eliminate most of them gradually. An exercise that might help you determine which options to keep is asking yourself “Why?” five times. That is, set a goal for yourself, such as a steady job, financial security, spiritual growth, family, health or well-being. Then, ask yourself why you want this. When you respond, repeat the question: why do you want that? After five rounds of ‘Why?’ you should be pretty close to your most profound motivation. Use it to plan and create the new life for yourself. Feeling lost in life? Brainstorm ideas, then narrow choices 6. Write your own obituary One of my favourite techniques for jolting oneself out of inertia when feeling lost in life and finding a way forward is rooted in existential-humanistic psychology. The task is pretty straightforward – write your own obituary. OK, it sounds morbid, and although you may feel some initial discomfort, it’s actually a rewarding and transformative exercise. According to the author of a recent study, the technique delivers a “greater sense of acceptance, appreciation, and awe toward the possibilities of living the life one envisions”. The logic behind the technique is simple. Even though we might not like it, we will eventually die. So, stop now and think about how you would most like to be remembered. Think of how you want to live your life while you still have it. You might be surprised by how your obituary would sound at the moment. And, most importantly, you will probably find out where you need to go next. “A problem as weighty as feeling lost in life requires going deep to find the solution. Meditation can help you get in touch with your most profound Self.” Allow me to express the weight of the ideas behind proposing this technique with a quote: “So, live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning 7. Practice acceptance and non-judgement Finally, once you have made your decision, you will need to be a good support for yourself. If you’re feeling lost in life, you're actually at a moment that will inevitably lead to a major change. And, changes often don’t come easy, even when they are for the better. Perhaps your change will mean investing time, money and a lot of effort before it can be realised. RELATED: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading Inner Turmoil: Understanding and Resolving It 7 Ways to Develop a Can-Do Attitude Therefore, prepare to go through the change with an attitude of acceptance and non-judgement. Embrace your decision, and all that comes with it. The ideal state to step into your new life is with plenty of self-love. Self-kindness prepares you to function and perform optimally and live a healthy and rewarding life. Takeaway: what to do when you feel lost You might remember my not-so-original experience about the realisation of how pointless my life was. In case you wondered how it turned out for me: here I am, doing what I love and with a great work life balance. When I was younger and used to talk about my dream career, I didn’t think it was actually possible. Yet, after going through the steps above, the path opened itself. In the meantime, I went through many other massive changes, internally and externally. And, I have another disclosure for you. To be honest, ’I feel lost' is a thought that has never fully left my side. Indeed, it has reappeared in many instances, professionally and personally. However, rather than let the feeling overwhelm me, I have learnt to see it as a nudge. It is a prod to keep questioning whether I'm living a worthy life, in peace with my values. In fact, I see it as a life saviour – life being defined as something that ought to have a point. When you realise that you are feeling lost or adrift, don’t succumb to anxiety. As scary as it may be, feeling this way is actually an insight that will send you on a path of never accepting purposelessness or inertness. So, embrace your inner voice and make these solid steps to discover your next journey! • Images: shuttertoskc/wolfstudiobkk, shutterstock/Rawpixel.com, shutterstock/theshots.co happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Coaching | Letting go | Motivation | Authenticity Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Feeling bloated interferes with daily activities and affects your mood. Dee Marques recommends the best teas that help with bloating and gas so you feel better – fast. Digestive disorders have been on the rise for a long time. Indeed, it’s estimated that up to 15 per cent of the world’s population suffers from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), and a growing number of us are affected by food intolerances and allergies. These conditions have many symptoms in common, and bloating is one of them. Luckily, something as simple as drinking a herbal teas can help you debloat and help digestion. But before looking at the best teas for bloating and gas, let's take a look at some of the possible causes of such these common digestive issues. Of course, a bloated stomach isn’t always a symptom of disease, but it’s still uncomfortable and can affect our mood and interfere with everyday activities. In fact, researchers have found that the quality of life in people with digestive conditions is similar to people with clinical depression. Nature's way: drinking herbal teas can relieve bloating and gas There are different things that cause digestive discomfort, including: Functional problems, like constipation, indigestion, IBS or stomach ulcers. Harmful habits like eating too fast, not chewing food properly, smoking, or excessive consumption of refined sugars (fizzy drinks, sweets, etc.). Hormonal fluctuation caused by menopause, pregnancy, PMS, or thyroid imbalances. Emotional distress, stress, depression or anxiety. Because the digestive system is controlled by the nervous system, any spike in stress or anxiety triggers the release of stress hormones. The gut-brain connection is now well documented. The digestive system is home to more than 100 million nerve endings, which is why some call the gut “our second brain” and is also why negative emotional states can trigger digestive complaints, including bloating. “Herbal teas have been used for centuries to boost digestive health and alleviate digestive complaints.” If bloating and gas are caused by a functional problem, you’ll need help from a healthcare professional and simple lifestyle changes can help if bloating is due to bad habits or to stress. In most cases, you’ll also benefit from a tried-and-tested way of relieving gas and bloating: herbal teas. In fact, herbal teas have been used for centuries to boost digestive health and alleviate digestive complaints, and they’re a common remedy in traditional and alternative medicine. Let's look at the most gut-friendly herbal teas, which you can experiment with to find the best tea to debloat and eliminate gas. Best teas for bloating and gas: 8 infusions to try Sick of regularly feeling bloated and uncomfortable? The eight teas below help with digestion can help you debloat fast. Stock up your kitchen cupboard and find out which one works best for you. 1. Ginger Ginger contains enzymes that keep fluids and food moving along the digestive system. Studies show that it increases stomach emptying too. As someone who has struggled with bloating for years, I find myself reaching for fresh ginger root every time I feel the bloat. What tea helps with digestion? Ginger is a winner! In fact, for me, ginger tea truly is the most effective debloat tea as it always seems to sooth my swollen stomach. However, ginger may not suitable for people whose bloating is caused by stomach ulcers, so bear that in mind. 2. Peppermint Ranking high in our list of best teas for bloating and gas is peppermint, one of the most widely available herbal teas. Peppermint has anti-spasmodic properties, so it’s useful to soothe bloating due to cramping. In fact, a 2011 study found certain compounds in this plant (such as menthol) can generate a pain relief response in the gut and are useful for IBS-related bloating. However, peppermint isn’t recommended if you suffer from acid reflux or indigestion. MORE LIKE THIS: The 15 Best Prebiotics to Include in Your Diet Fasting And Autophagy How to Heal Your Gut: 7 Ideas to Restore Belly Health 3. Liquorice Liquorice is used in traditional Chinese medicine as a remedy against stomach ulcers, gas and inflammation, and also to strengthen the digestive system. Furthermore, this root has a long history of health applications dating back to ancient Egypt. Liquorice root is very high in flavonoids, which are known to have anti-inflammatory properties. It’s also rich in triterpenes, compounds which have been found to be anti-viral that help if bloating is due to food poisoning. Furthermore, liquorice has a mild diuretic effect, which is beneficial if bloating is caused by water retention. 4. Chamomile Next in this list of the best teas that help with bloating is chamomile, which is well-known for its medicinal value. Chamomile tea is safe for most digestive conditions and has an anti-inflammatory and anti-spasmodic effect, as it can lower stomach acidity. “Ranking high in the list of best teas for bloating is peppermint. This herbal tea has anti-spasmodic properties, so it’s useful to soothe bloating due to cramping.” What’s more, chamomile is a natural sleep aid and several studies confirm its calming and de-stressing effect. If you find chamomile a bit bland, you can mix it with the other debloat teas on this list – such as peppermint – or add some honey to sweeten. 5. Fennel Fennel is one of the lesser-known herbal teas for bloating. Fennel seeds have an anti-inflammatory effect due to their high anethole content. This compound is also found in anise and lab studies found it can block the body’s inflammatory response. Moreover, fennel is high in fibre, so it encourages bowel function and is a great choice if your digestion is sluggish. Chamomile is another effective debloat tea 6. Hibiscus Beautiful hibiscus flowers aren’t just pretty. Hibiscus has a balancing effect on aldosterone, which is the hormone responsible for keeping the kidneys efficiently processing water and salts and for keeping electrolytes in check. It's definitely the best tea for bloating if you struggle with water retention! This flower is packed with Vitamin C and antioxidants that can strengthen the gut’s function, and studies confirm it can inhibit E.coli, a bacteria that causes gas and bloating. 7. Turmeric Turmeric has been used in Ayurvedic medicine to treat digestive complaints for thousands of years, and is another clear debloat tea option in my books. Turmeric root contains curcumin, which stimulates gallbladder function so that the stomach can break foods down. “Turmeric has been used in Ayurvedic medicine to treat digestive complaints for thousands of years, and is another clear debloat tea option.” Furthermore, studies show that curcumin likes to stay in the digestive system for up to 30 minutes, and other research shows that it has beneficial effects in people affected by colitis. You can drink it on its own or mix it with other warming spices, like cardamom, star anise, and cloves, to make your own version of masala chai tea. 8. Lemon balm Like liquorice, lemon balm is high in triterpenes and has a refreshing flavour. The European Medicine Agency has confirmed its value in helping relieve gas, bloating and slow digestion. In traditional Iranian medicine, lemon balm is considered the best tea for bloating due to its high anti-oxidant content, which can reinforce digestive health. Takeaway: best tea for gas and bloating Nature really is your best ally when it comes to beating bloating and gas. The herbal teas and infusions listed here can help soothe the digestive system and strengthen its function so that you’re less prone to episodes of bloating, especially if you commit to a healthy diet and develop positive lifestyle habits. So, what’s the best tea for bloating and gas in your experience? Share what works well for you in the comments below! • Images: shutterstock/Alex Yuzhakov, shutterstock/dikis, shutterstock/Yakobchuk Viacheslav happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Healthy habits | Herbalism | Vegetarianism | Gut health Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Listening to mindfulness podcasts is a great new way of discovering more about the practice while you're relaxing or on the go. Dee Marques shares her top seven podcasts about staying mindful that can boost your well-being, enrich your life and inspire you further. Are you searching for the best mindfulness podcast but overwhelmed by all the choices online? You're not the only one! Indeed, podcasts have experienced a tremendous surge in popularity recently. Estimates suggest there are more than 800,000 podcast shows available worldwide, and in the UK, it’s thought that more than 7 million people listen to a podcast regularly. Meanwhile, in the US, almost one in three of the population tune in to at least one podcast each month. But podcasts aren’t the only thing that’s growing at a tremendous pace: mindfulness has also become one of the most popular trends in the world of spirituality and well-being. With this in mind, it’s hardly surprising that the number of mindfulness podcasts just keeps increasing – making it harder to find the best one to fit your lifestyle! Why choose a podcast about mindfulness? So, what exactly makes mindfulness podcasts so appealing? After all, there are some great mindfulness apps and mindfulness books that you can use to develop your practice. Well, it’s all a matter of convenience and lifestyle fit. Apps are designed to be mostly interactive in that you need to be paying attention to your phone or tablet. Something similar happens with books – you cannot read a book and at do something else at the same time (and that wouldn't be very mindful!). On the other hand, mindfulness podcasts are much more convenient because they allow you to multi-task. That may seem to go against the whole essence of mindfulness (!), but it can be useful considering how busy we are. You can download episodes so you can listen to them during the daily commute, while you're working out, or when you’re busy with household chores, etc. Also, podcasts tap into our social nature because they’re usually delivered in a conversational format. Another advantage of mindfulness podcasts is that they bring together different points of view and insights that can enrich our learning journey. The best mindfulness podcasts to listen With an ever increasing number of podcasts to choose from, it can be hard to decide which one you should listen to first. We’d like to make things easier for you, so – in no particular order – here’s our selection of the best mindfulness podcasts. Let us know what you think of them after you've listened, or what your other favourites are, down in the comments below. Happy listening. 1. 10% Happier First in our list of outstanding mindfulness podcasts is 10% Happier. This podcast is hosted by Dan Harris, a journalist who experienced first hand the benefits of mindfulness and meditation in treating anxiety. Far from only giving his personal views, Dan Harris’ podcast features guest interviews who bring a rich range of views and experiences that will appeal to a wide audience. This podcast will be of interest to people who are sceptical about the benefits of mindfulness, or to those who think that this practice is at odds with being an ambitious high achiever. If you’d like to know more about how to use mindfulness to be both productive and kind, this is the right podcast for you. 2. Mindfulness Mode Mindfulness Mode is an interview-based podcast focusing on both the practical and scientific aspects of mindfulness. The host is Bruce Langford, an established coach who specialises in helping others focus on their goals, manage stress, and achieve higher levels of personal and professional development. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged The podcast features interviews with experts and discusses how to apply mindfulness to different aspects of our lives. Past episodes have covered topics like using mindful listening, mindfulness in corporate settings, and how to apply mindfulness to improve sports performance. 3. Tara Brach Podcast Tara Brach is an author, teacher, and practitioner who runs meditation retreats and workshops in Europe and the United States. She’s also a recognized figure in the world of Buddhism and other Eastern spiritual practices. After years of intensive practice and research, she's now considered a leading authority in the use of mindfulness strategies in psychotherapy. • JOIN US! Sign-up to happiness.com and connect with our caring community • In addition to running online mindfulness courses, she hosts an incredibly popular podcast that gets more than 1.5 million downloads every month – definitely one of the greatest mindfulness podcasts out there judging by the those figures. Her podcast episodes come in a variety of formats, from short talks to guided Tara Brach meditations. 4. The Rubin Mindfulness Meditation This podcast is run by the Rubin Museum of Art. Based in New York City, this institution has made its mission to share with others information about the values, beliefs, and culture of Himalayan cultures. As such, mindfulness plays a crucial role in the museum’s ethos, to the point that they broadcast weekly podcast episodes on this topic. RELATED: Mindfulness vs meditation – what's the definition The podcast is designed to appeal to people from all walks of life, whether they already have some knowledge of mindfulness or not. Each podcast lasts 45 minutes and approximately half of it is devoted to a guided mindfulness meditation session delivered by expert teachers. This is a real bonus if you want a practical element to your mindful podcast which you can enjoy there and then. 5. On Being On Being is an award-winning podcast created by Krista Tippett. This show was launched with the intention of being a digital gathering place for anyone interested in taking a more mindful and spiritual approach to what it means to be human. While the podcast doesn’t exclusively focus on mindfulness, awareness of being is at the core of it and is also one of the key elements involved in developing a mindfulness practice. “You can download mindfulness podcasts and listen to them during the daily commute, while you're working out, or when you’re busy with household chores.” This podcast has more than 200 million downloads and has been aired for 17 years – quite a feat in itself, which definitely speaks of its popularity. On Being is delivered in conversation format, and former guests have included best-selling authors, philosophers, and spiritual leaders such as Elizabeth Gilbert, Alain de Botton and Desmond Tutu. 6. Untangle Untangle is another interview-based podcast that releases new episodes every Tuesday. This podcast is co-hosted by former social media executive Patricia Karpas and Ariel Garten, who is known for developing a headband that helps improve the quality of meditation sessions. RELATED: The 5 best happiness apps to improve well-being After experiencing the transformative benefits of mindfulness in their own lives, the hosts decided to launch a podcast to help other people reap the same benefits. Episodes last anything between 25 and 45 minutes and the interviews discuss the real life applications of mindfulness. 7. The Mindful Coping Podcast You may want to tune into the Mindful Coping podcast to learn how your mindfulness practice can help you cope with the stress of daily life. Your host is Jeff Krisman, who has been studying and practising mindfulness for over two decades. RELATED: Happiness podcasts – 8 that we rate In each episode, Jeff shares valuable insights on how mindfulness has helped him cope with difficult situations: from handling stress during the festive season to being overwhelmed by self-pity or disappointment. This podcast is characterised by a very relatable human-to-human tone that makes it very easy and pleasant to listen to. Mindfulness podcasts: a useful tool to live better Podcasts are convenient way of stepping up your mindfulness practice, or to get started with one. One of their main advantages is that you can listen to them while you work on other things. These shows deliver valuable insights that can help you live better and happier. We hope you’ll be able to find a podcast that speaks to you in our selection of best mindfulness podcasts. Happy listening! ● Main image: shutterstock/Flamingo Images Do you listen to any of these mindfulness podcasts? We'd love to know which are your favourites. Let the community know in the comments below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Stress management | Music | Depression Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Setbacks and disappointments in life are inevitable but it's possible to overcome them. It's essential to not let such obstacles impact on our confidence or make us resentful. Learn how to deal with disappointment effectively with these 8 tips from Dee Marques. I still remember the sinking feeling in my stomach when I read the first sentence of that email: “We regret to inform you that…”. It hit me hard. I'd spent weeks preparing for the interview for my dream job, planning a getaway to celebrate my new role, imagining myself at the fancy office – only to be rejected. And then there are the smaller, everyday letdowns that seem to come all at once: dates that get cancelled last minute, products or services that don’t live up to the hype, a recipe that doesn’t turn out right, etc. Disappointment comes in many forms and is an inevitable part of life. We all face it, whether in relationships, at work, or within ourselves. But despite how common it is, disappointment can still feel deeply personal and overwhelming. And since we all experience it sooner or later, learning how to deal with disappointment is essential, so we can limit its impact on our well-being and confidence. Let's look in detail at this common emotion and explore practical ways of dealing with disappointment in different aspects of life. What’s the meaning of disappointment? We usually feel disappointed whenever our expectations or hopes are not met. When we anticipate a positive outcome, our brain releases large amounts of dopamine, the “happy hormone”, but dopamine levels drop to zero when things don’t work out as expected. Setbacks at work are common: try to reframe disappointment Not only that, but scientists have noticed that disappointment activates the brain’s pain centres, so this can be quite a complex emotion that triggers secondary emotions like sadness, hurt, betrayal, frustration, inadequacy, grief, or anger, so sometimes it can be difficult to tell what it is exactly that we’re feeling. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: 7 Ideas That Work When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! How to Prime Your Mind For Optimism Although disappointment is a normal emotion, letting it fester inside you can breed resentment against yourself, other people, or life itself, which can create a lot of physical and mental tension, being linked to anxiety and stress. Overcoming disappointment: early experiences matter We’re all let down at some point in life, but we handle it differently. This is because our early experiences shape our strategies for dealing with disappointment. For example, children who have their emotions dismissed or minimised by adults as they face disappointment are more likely to develop maladaptive coping mechanisms, such as avoidance or shame. And if a child is told to “be tough” when they’re let down, they might not allow themselves to admit they’re disappointed later in life, since they’ll see it as a form of weakness. “Since we all experience it, learning how to deal with disappointment is essential, so we can limit its impact on our well-being and confidence.” Similarly, children who are scolded when they suffer a setback can develop the belief that failure will make them unlovable, and may start to underachieve to avoid potential failure. However, some will do the opposite, becoming perfectionists to prevent any chance of disappointment (impossible!). Dealing with disappointment: 8 tips to try today Here’s the interesting thing: if the way we react to disappointment is learned, this means we can always learn a new way to handle it. So let’s look at some suggestions on how to deal with disappointment. How to deal with disappointment in relationships and friendships Friends and romantic partners often let us down. Here's how to handle it: 1. Manage expectations No human being is perfect, so no relationship is perfect either. In fact, researchers estimate that 70% of the problems couples experience can’t be “solved”. Interpersonal relationships move along a continuum of harmony and disharmony, convergence and divergence. Acknowledging our differences is the basis for more genuine relationships and can also help us learn about our partner’s or friends’ needs and internal mechanisms. 2. Open communication If a friend or partner has let you down, don’t fall into the avoidance trap. Express your feelings without blaming them, and instead explain that your intention is simply to understand them better and strengthen the relationship. 3. Set boundaries Accepting disappointment as a fact of life doesn’t mean you should compromise at all costs and in all circumstances. If someone consistently disappoints you or lets you down, consider redefining the relationship to align with your needs and set clear boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Setting boundaries can help overcome disappointment from others Dealing with disappointment at work Failed to get that promotion or rise? Coworker constantly stealing your light? Here are some suggestions for handling work disappointments. 4. Reframe setbacks Author Brad Warner says that “disappointment is just the action of your brain readjusting itself to reality after discovering things are not the way you thought they were”. Next time you’re let down at work, support your brain in this readjustment or recalibration by changing your narrative about what happened. “Accepting disappointment as a fact of life doesn’t mean you should compromise at all costs. If someone consistently disappoints you or lets you down, set boundaries.” For example, if you didn’t get promoted this time, instead of thinking “all my efforts were for nothing, maybe I'm just not good enough for this company”, try: “this doesn’t invalidate my work. I’ll try to understand better what the company values are and focus on what I can do next to keep advancing”. 5. Don’t linger on the “what-ifs” Avoid blaming yourself, ruminating, or dwelling on what-if scenarios, as this can only lead to feelings of inadequacy. Instead, acknowledge that you did your best and that is something to be proud of. You never want to get to the point of thinking 'why do I hate my life?'. 6. Distract yourself Avoid placing all your self-worth or sense of identity on a single career goal. Instead, after a disappointment, find ways to distract yourself with things that bring you joy outside of work. Overcoming disappointment in daily life Life is full of joy but also regular disappointments! Acceptance is key to dealing with the situation. 7. Sit with disappointment mindfully Deep breathing exercises, a mindfulness meditation session, or a body scan can help you stay grounded in the moment while you allow yourself to experience disappointment without avoiding your feelings or over-reacting to them. Accept feelings of disappointment and handle the emotion 8. Acknowledge your feelings Disappointment can be enmeshed with other emotions, so it’s best to address one emotion at the time. Ask yourself what you're feeling. Is it rage? Then maybe you need to life off steam with a gym session or practise meditation for anger. Is it sadness? Having a good cry does wonders for releasing emotion. Dealing with disappointment in yourself Of course, in addition to being disappointed in other people or in circumstances and things, we can also experience disappointment in ourselves. This can happen when we fail to meet our own standards or goals, which can make us feel self-doubt and low self-esteem. “If a friend or partner has let you down, don’t fall into the avoidance trap. Express your feelings without blaming them, and instead explain that your intention is simply to understand them better.” When it comes to overcoming disappointment in yourself, first embrace self-compassion. Self-disappointment arises from a discrepancy between our actual self and our ideal self, so letdowns are an opportunity to give your actual self kindness and compassion – this is when you need it the most! RELATED: How to Practise Self-Compassion: 6 Proven Techniques This experience also offers an opportunity to reflect and adjust your perceptions. Analyse your reaction to disappointment. Did it make you want to not try ever again? Or did it trigger the perfectionist in you? These may be learned responses that stem from your childhood. If they don’t serve you, it’s time to adjust them. The takeaway: how to deal with disappointment Although disappointment is challenging, every time it surfaces it offers us a valuable opportunity for introspection and growth. The path to growth through disappointment starts with understanding that the way we react to it is a learned or “inherited” response that we can modify if it has a negative impact on us. And by trying some of the coping strategies listed above, you can transform disappointment from being a source of distress into a catalyst for resilience and growth. Remember that the way we respond to life's setbacks shapes our journey far more than the setbacks themselves. To end this article on dealing with disappointment, I want to leave you with a favourite quote from sociologist W.E.B. Dubois: “Strive for that greatness of spirit that measures life not by its disappointments but by its possibilities”. • Images: shutterstock/PeopleImages - Yuri A, shutterstock/baranq, shutterstock/Krakenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Relationship advice | Resilience | Hormones Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Meditation doesn't have to be done sat inside on a mat. Ann Vrlak explores the science-backed benefits of meditating in nature and suggests 5 ways of practising it outdoors. Among the many myths about meditation that exist is that it has to happen in a quiet room with your eyes shut. However, taking your practice outside can actually deepen your connection with nature, engage your senses, and bring a fresh perspective to what meditation is all about. In some places around the world, doctors now actually prescribe time in nature as a tool for health and well-being. Nature meditation goes one step further, building on the instinctual connection humans have with the natural environment. Meditating in nature is a sensory, calming experience The benefits of meditation in nature The value of spending time in nature is woven into many cultures. indeed, it's now generally accepted that it's one of the healthiest things we can do for our body, mind and spirit. Here are just a few of the further benefits you enjoy when you do simple meditation practices outdoors: Being in a forest or park, or by the ocean, all have a soothing effect on your nervous system. Add in the benefits of meditation practice on stress relief, and outdoor meditation becomes an enjoyable, powerful tool to bust stress. Nature meditation is a rich, sensory experience. Being outdoors is an ever-changing experience of sights, sounds, smells and sensations that you can immerse yourself in to ground yourself in the present moment. Most of us live in a fast-paced world of electronic devices and multitasking. Meditation in nature supports you in settling into a quieter, simpler space where you can turn your attention inward. Finally, time in nature has been shown to be profoundly helpful for our mental health and mental clarity. Nature meditation multiplies these many healthy effects that help us to give our minds much-needed rest and rejuvenation. 5 ways to practise meditation in nature Here are five nature meditation practices. For each one, whenever you notice that you're lost in a train of thought, that is part of the exercise. It is totally natural. Just gently return your attention to the focus of the practice. 1. Sound meditation One main meditation myth is that the practice requires silence, but it doesn’t. In fact, paying attention to sensory information, especially sound, is one of the oldest forms of meditation. “In some places around the world, doctors now actually prescribe time in nature as a tool for health and well-being. Nature meditation goes one step further.” Meditation in nature, focusing on as many sounds around you as you can, is a wonderful, relaxing practice you can do while walking or sitting. But don’t go looking for sounds; let them come to you. Notice the different kind of sounds you can hear when you're outside – birds, other animals, wind in the trees, running water or rain –whatever you notice. Listen to the birds through sound meditation Benefits This meditation trains you to focus your attention in the moment, on your direct sensory experience. And, this focus on your senses, helps to calm your mind and nervous system. 2. Observing nature Choose an object — a tree, a flower, a rock, a bird, a cloud — and observe it. Look at it as if you have never seen this thing before. Notice as many things about it as you can – its texture, colour, movement and shape. You will probably want to name it or remember information about it. “Oh, that’s a woodpecker. They are common…” That’s OK, but do your best to let go of what you know about it and just observe it as it is, and, if you can, connect with it. MORE LIKE THIS: 4 Ways Nature Can Protect Your Well-Being Gazing At The Stars: Replace Your Worries With Wonder 4 Science-Backed Benefits of Living By The Sea Benefits This outdoor meditation is a practice of 'beginner’s mind': an exercise to let things be just as they are without the weight of our expectations and knowledge. It is also a practice of appreciation, of seeing the wonder and infinite variety in nature. 3. Grounding meditation If it’s possible for you to sit and be warm and dry, sit on the ground, a rock, or a fallen tree. Focus your attention on the places you contact the earth: under your feet or the weight of your body on the ground. Make slight movements to settle fully on the earth, to feel that connection as vividly as you can. Benefits Grounding meditation is another ancient meditation practice. It fosters a deep sense of stability and safety, experiencing the solidity of the earth beneath you. Meditation in nature, directly feeling this connection with the earth, helps to ground you in your body and soothe a busy mind. Direct contact with the earth helps to ground yourself 4. Walking meditation As you walk, focus your attention on the sensation of your feet contacting the earth. If you like, you can walk slowly at first to connect with this practice, but it can be done at any speed. “Being outdoors is an ever-changing experience of sights, sounds, smells and sensations that you can immerse yourself in to ground yourself.” See if you can pay attention to every part of the walking movement: your heel touching down, your weight moving to the front of your foot, your leg moving forward – the whole movement of walking and connecting with the ground. RELATED: What is Forest Bathing? Discover 6 Key Health Benefits Benefits Walking meditation is a wonderful way to understand a key thing about meditation: you don’t have to be sitting on a cushion to do it. You can do this practice in a park or forest, or walking to the train or bus on your way to work. It integrates mindfulness into everyday living and movement. 5. Breath awareness This practice can be done sitting still or when walking. Start paying attention to the sensations of your breath: in your nose, chest or belly, wherever you notice it most clearly. Do you notice coolness or warmth? Is the air damp or dry? Are there any scents, like pine trees or roses? Notice as much as you can about the richness of your breath. Soothe your nervous system meditating by water Benefits The traditional practice of breath awareness is also enhanced by outdoor meditation. Focusing on your breath is deeply soothing to your nervous system and breathing in nature, noticing the sensory environment, connects you to your surroundings and the present moment. Takeaway: outdoor meditation techniques You can think of meditation in nature as a way to multiply the many wonderful effects of simply being in the natural environment. Meditation in nature allows you to engage with the world in a mindful, meaningful way. Whether you sit, walk, listen, or simply breathe, the outdoors offers endless opportunities to slow down and reconnect — with yourself and the world around you. • Images: shutterstock/Air Images, shutterstock/RealPeopleStudio, shutterstock/Massoon, shutterstock/GRJPride happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips Stress Management | Gratitude | Simple Living Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

We all understand the classic adage 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,' but have you heard of the newly-coined expression 'lemonading'? Sonia Vadlamani explores how lemonading – or adopting playfulness – can help you navigate life's uncertainties with greater ease. Life is full of uncertainties. And – as most of us have realized by now – no one can predict the outcome of the challenges that arise. We’ve all heard the saying 'when life gives you lemons make lemonade', but what if our minds don’t instinctively choose an outlook based on positive reframing? The good news is that we can consciously choose to adopt so-called 'lemonading' as a mindset. So, what is lemonading? Coined by researchers at Oregon State University, the term 'lemonading' refers to the ability to see the positive side when life presents you with metaphorical ‘lemons,’ thereby making it easier to navigate the obstacles. The central idea is that those with a more 'playful' outlook on life or the ability to shift their perspectives during uncertainty tend to be more resilient and find solutions with greater ease. Led by Dr Xiangyou Shen, the 2021 study analyzed how people coped with the COVID-19 pandemic, exploring how one’s perception of limitations and disruptions affected their ability to adapt to tough times. The research revealed that individuals who were more playful maintained a positive outlook on an uncertain future while staying realistic towards the limitations of the present. This ability to “creatively imagine and pursue positive possibilities to cultivate adaptive, enjoyable experiences while maintaining a clear-eyed realism about challenges” – lemonading – can help individuals thrive and find happiness, even amid chaos. How does lemonading work? It’s important not to confuse lemonading with toxic positivity. While toxic positivity dismisses setbacks and challenges, lemonading embraces the presence of hardships, allowing room for difficult emotions like sadness, disappointment and fear, while actively seeking ways to combat the situation. It’s about using your strength, determination, and creative problem-solving skills, rather than pretending everything is fine. Playfulness is an integral part of lemonading Instead of downplaying difficulties, lemonading encourages you to shift your perspective to ask yourself, “What resources do I have to work through this situation?” or “How can I approach this challenge in a creative way?". In principle, lemonading acknowledges that life gets tough sometimes – but when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. In other words, you make the best use of your resources. How to practise lemonading Lemonading may come more easily to some, but anyone can learn to turn life’s “lemons” into something better with a shift in perspective and a touch of playfulness. Here are some ways to develop the art of lemonading: 1. Cultivate an adaptable mindset When life gives you lemons, it’s natural to fall into a detrimental cycle of repetitive and intrusive thinking. Obsessive thoughts and rumination can take a toll on both mental and physical health, contributing to conditions like anxiety, OCD-related disorders, and even impaired decision-making ability. Indeed, you can navigate life more easily by training your mind to find the silver lining. “Instead of downplaying difficulties, lemonading encourages you to shift your perspective and ask, 'what resources do I have to work through this situation?'” Rather than dwelling on setbacks, make a conscious effort to shift your focus toward possibilities and opportunities in any scenario. This reframing technique is at the heart of lemonading – it not only allows you to feel stress-free faster but also encourages proactive problem-solving instead of remaining stuck in negativity. 2. Practise gratitude Gratitude is a powerful resource for lemonading, given that the human brain is wired toward negativity. Research shows that cultivating an attitude of gratitude can foster positive emotions and enhance our ability to cope with difficult situations. Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus to what’s going well in your life, while gratitude meditation is a great way to acknowledge your blessings. Setting aside a few minutes each day to reflect in silence on the things that bring you joy is a simple yet effective way to reframe your perspective. 3. Create your go-to set of positive affirmations Positive affirmations are statements that can help you navigate uncertainties and challenges with a more optimistic attitude. According to researchers at the University of Pennsylvania, practising self-affirmations can help rewire the brain’s perception of self-worth, leading to positive behavioural changes. RELATED: 23 Gratitude Affirmations For Attracting Happiness Affirmations can feel uncomfortable at first, so try speaking to yourself in the third person, like a supportive mentor or teacher would. For example, try saying something like, “Hey, you’ve got this!” or “You know this only seems harder in your mind than it actually is.” 4. Find the fun in everyday moments Laughing is easy when life is going well, but finding humour in difficult situations is much harder. However, embracing humour during difficult times may just be what you need for lemonading like a champ. According to the relief theory by Martin and Ford, humour acts like a relief valve, much like a steam pipe pressure valve in a hydraulic engine, allowing release for any built-up tension through laughter. Another study by Yale psychologist Oriana Aragon suggests that laughter strengthens resilience by helping us regulate our emotions in the face of challenge, aligning perfectly with the essence of lemonading. When life gives you lemons, embrace humour! 5. Switch things up occasionally While routines provide stability and structure to our day, shaking things up occasionally helps break monotony and spark creativity. This doesn’t mean abandoning your schedule entirely but rather making small, intentional changes – introducing something new while maintaining your overall rhythm. The concept of lemonading is centred around the idea that it’s OK to embrace change, since it promotes personal growth. MORE LIKE THIS: What Playfulness Can Do For Your Relationship These 4 NLP Techniques Will Change How You Think How to Prime Your Mind For Optimism Indeed, American philosopher Henry David Thoreau once observed how easily our brains get hardwired, leaving us feeling we’re stuck in a rut. Research on neurogenesis and neuroplasticity by Christopher Bergland suggests that we can rewire our brains to explore fresh perspectives, helping us approach challenges with renewed clarity. Try taking a different route to work, listening to a new music genre, or exploring an unfamiliar part of your city. These small shifts can dissolve your preconceived notions and reservations about change and open you up to new possibilities. 6. Incorporate play into your day Getting shit done shouldn’t be your only goal for the day – making it more enjoyable and memorable is just as important. Playfulness is a powerful trait for individuals facing adverse conditions, as revealed by a study by Rinat Feniger-Schaal et al., as it allows them to reclaim autonomy and build emotional resilience. “Surround yourself with people who embrace an abundance mindset – those who encourage you to find the positive side when life gives you lemons.” However, avoid the urge to tie play to a specific goal or outcome. Instead, focus on what genuinely brings you joy. Whether it’s baking cupcakes, taking a painting class, volunteering, or dancing to your favourite song, incorporating play can break the monotony and add lightness to your day. 7. Create a community you can count on The power of a strong, supportive community is a key aspect of lemonading. Surround yourself with people who embrace an abundance mindset – those who encourage you to find the positive side when life gives you lemons. Indeed, offering support is just as important as receiving it, as teaching resilience and helping others through tough times is a key aspect of lemonading. RELATED: The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits We often get so caught up in our struggles that we overlook what those around us are going through. By extending kindness and support, we foster an ‘affiliative connection,’ thus deepening our friendships and reinforcing meaningful relationships. In addition to strengthening bonds, small acts of kindness have other proven benefits, from alleviating stress and boosting immunity to releasing happy hormones like serotonin and endorphins, giving you the uplifting experience of the ‘helper’s high.’ Takeaway: when life gives you lemons Resorting to the advice 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade' may not always seem like the natural or even realistic choice during tough times. Indeed, it’s not always easy to regard the glass as half full when difficulties arise. However, looking on the bright side as a conscious practice can help us stay resilient and, in general, be happier. Adopting the lemonading mindset won’t make your setbacks vanish, but the strategies shared can help you navigate them with greater ease – and maybe even enjoy the process. ● shutterstock/Kit Viatkins, shutterstock/Roman Samborskyi happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Positive psychology | Motivation | Keys to Happiness | Unhappy in Life Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Warst du auf der Arbeit jemals gestresst? Damit bist du nicht alleine. In der Tat machen Stress und Depressionen etwa die Hälfte aller verlorenen Arbeitstage in Großbritannien aus. Finde deinen Stresspegel heraus, indem du unseren kurzen Fragebogen ausfüllst und erfahre wie du mit Stress effektiv umgehen kannst. Was sind die Hauptursachen für den Arbeitsstress? Z.B. eine Kombination aus den folgenden Faktoren: Hohe Arbeitsbelastung, unklare Erwartungen, mangelhafte Planung und die fehlende Fähigkeit, Entscheidungen zu treffen, Überlastung bei den Zuständigkeiten und Grenzen und letztlich Absprachen, die nicht eingehalten werden. Mit Stress im Beruf bist du nicht allein: Laut einer 2019 in Großbritannien veröffentlichten Statistik litten 2018/19 etwas mehr als 600.000 Arbeitnehmer*innen an Stress, Depressionen oder Angstzuständen (neu auftretend oder länger anhaltend) [1]. Im gleichen Zeitraum gingen aufgrund dieser Krankheiten knapp 13 Millionen Arbeitstage verloren. Stress, Depressionen oder Angstzustände machten 44 Prozent aller arbeitsbedingten Krankheitsfälle und 54 Prozent aller Arbeitsausfälle aus. Um die Faktoren, die Stress bei der Arbeit verursachen besser zu verstehen, haben wir den Fragebogen zu Stress im Beruf entwickelt. Es dauert weniger als drei Minuten, gibt dir Aufschluss über deine persönlichen Erfahrungen und inspiriert dich dazu, über die Ursachen von Stress bei der Arbeit nachzudenken, auf die du in deinem Job stößt, damit du deinen Arbeitsstress besser verstehen und ihm konsequenter Paroli bieten kannst. Fragebogen zum Stress im Beruf Nachdem du das Ergebnis deines Fragebogens zu Stress bei der Arbeit erhalten hast ist es Zeit, dieses zu analysieren. Die Ergebnisse liegen auf einer Skala von Null bis 60, wobei Null überhaupt keinen Stress bedeutet und 60 eine extreme und sogar gefährliche Menge an Stress bei der Arbeit. Aber auch dazwischen gilt: Währet den Anfängen! Frühzeitig Stressfaktoren zu erkennen erspart dir unnötige Belastung in deinem Job. Was denkst du über dein Ergebnis? Entspricht es deinen Erwartungen? Teile deine Einschätzung im happiness-Forum. Was verursacht Stress? Stress bezieht sich im Allgemeinen auf zwei Dinge: Die psychologische Wahrnehmung von Druck (real und imaginiert/vorweggenommen) und die Reaktion des Körpers darauf. Das Vermeiden eines Unfalls auf dem Weg zur Arbeit führt zu Stress, sowie soziale Spannungen oder die Angst, für ein schlechtes Ergebnis bei der Arbeit verantwortlich gemacht zu werden. Dies alles löst die Freisetzung von Stresshormonen aus, einschließlich Adrenalin und Cortisol. Diese Hormone erhöhen den Herzschlag und die Durchblutung, um schnelles Handeln, schnelles Atmen, konzentrierte Aufmerksamkeit und mehr zu unterstützen. Diese lebensrettende körperliche Reaktion ist jedoch lediglich dazu geeignet kurzfristige, akute Probleme zu lösen. Was ist chronischer Stress? Während gelegentlicher Stress motivierend und anregend sein kann – sogar lebensrettend – ist chronischer Stress am Arbeitsplatz nicht nur für unsere geistige, sondern auch für unsere körperliche Gesundheit schädlich. Zu den Symptomen von anhaltendem, chronischem Stress zählen unter anderem Kopfschmerzen, Schlaflosigkeit oder Einschlafprobleme, ein rasender Herzschlag, Magenschmerzen, Muskelverspannungen und Konzentrationsschwierigkeiten. Chronischer Stress kann auch ohne schwerwiegende Vorkommnisse auftreten, wenn über erwartete Probleme, Veränderungen und Herausforderungen endlos gegrübelt wird. Jede Situation, die wir als bedrohlich empfinden oder in der wir uns an eine Veränderung anpassen müssen kann die Stressreaktion auslösen. Dies ist nicht unbedingt der beste Weg, um mit anhaltenden Schwierigkeiten wie unrealistischen Anforderungen bei der Arbeit oder Problemen mit der Hierarchie in einem Unternehmen umzugehen. Wenn die Stressreaktion kontinuierlich ausgelöst wird, bleiben Geist und Körper in höchster Alarmbereitschaft, was im Laufe der Zeit zu Verschleiß führt, da wir nicht in den wichtigen Zustand der Ruhe und Erholung zurückfinden. In der Tat definiert Segen's Medical Dictionary chronischen Stress als: „Ein Zustand anhaltender Anspannung durch interne oder externe Stressfaktoren [Ursachen von Stress], der verschiedene körperliche Manifestationen verursachen kann – z. B. Asthma, Rückenschmerzen, Arrhythmien, Müdigkeit, Kopfschmerzen, Bluthochdruck, Reizdarmsyndrom, Geschwüre – und das Immunsystem unterdrückt .” [2] In ähnlicher Weise heißt es bei Wikipedia: „Während die unmittelbaren Auswirkungen von Stress [Hormonen] in einer bestimmten kurzfristigen Situation von Vorteil sind, führt eine langfristige Belastung zu einem [konstant] hohen Spiegel dieser Hormone. Dies kann zu hohem Blutdruck (und anschließend zu Herzerkrankungen), Schädigung des Muskelgewebes, Wachstumshemmung, Unterdrückung des Immunsystems und Schädigung der psychischen Gesundheit führen.“ [3] Wie können wir Stress abbauen? Hier müssen wir zwischen inneren und äußeren Stressfaktoren unterscheiden. Stressbewältigung ist nicht dazu gedacht, inakzeptable und vergiftete Arbeitsbedingungen zu ertragen, sondern uns gesund zu halten und auf ruhige und produktive Weise Verbesserungen im Umgang mit uns selbst am Arbeitsplatz zu erreichen. Der erste und wichtigste Schritt ist die Erkenntnis, dass wir tatsächlich gestresst sind. Nur die Akzeptanz der Tatsache, dass Stress vorhanden ist ermöglicht es uns, etwas dagegen zu unternehmen. Obwohl Stress oft unvermeidlich ist, kannst du ihm begegnen, indem du die Reaktion deines Körpers kontrollierst. Bewegung, Meditation, das Abrufen von Entspannungsreaktion und Achtsamkeit sind großartige Stresskiller. Indem wir unserem Stress am Arbeitsplatz aktiv begegnen wechseln wir, was die Stressreaktion angeht, vom passiven Ausgeliefertsein zur aktiven Entscheidung, wie wir auf die Situation reagieren. Zu akzeptieren, dass es Stress gibt, bedeutet nicht, dass wir ihn ertragen müssen, sondern dass wir ihn als das erkennen, was er ist. Wir können die Situation analysieren und frei wählen, wie wir innerlich und in Bezug auf das Unternehmen, für das wir arbeiten, den Stressfaktoren begegnen wollen. Wir haben mehr Klarheit, sind in der Lage, andere Standpunkte wirklich anzuhören und zu verstehen und zufriedenstellende Lösungen zu finden, unter Berücksichtigung aller Beteiligten. Wir können schwierige Situationen geschickter meistern und uns der Mechanismen am Arbeitsplatz bewusst werden, die unnötigen Arbeitsaufwand verursachen, und können sie daher ruhig zur Sprache bringen und bestenfalls verändern. Somit können wir langfristig Stressfaktoren reduzieren und chronischen Stress abbauen. Weitere relevante Artikel 11 wissenschaftliche Wege, Stress zu reduzieren MBSR - Meditation based stress reduction - Kostenloser achtwöchiger online MBSR Kurs (auf Englisch) Fünf Übungen für mehr Achtsamkeit im Alltag Vorteile von Meditation: 9 wissenschaftlich Belege Resilienz: 5 Strategien für mehr Belastbarkeit In 6 Schritten zu wahrem Glück im Job Quellen [1] Work-related stress, anxiety or depression statistics in Great Britain, 2019 – https://www.hse.gov.uk/statistics/causdis/stress.pdf [13.05.2020] [2] https://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/chronic+stress [3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic_stress Stress – Harvard Health https://www.health.harvard.edu/topics/stress [12.05.2020] How stress affects your health – American Psychological Association https://www.apa.org/topics/stress-health [12.05.2020] Stress: Psychology and Biology – Encyclopaedia Britannica https://www.britannica.com/science/stress-psychology-and-biology [12.05.2020] Defining Stress – Explore IM: UCLA Collaborative Centers for Integrative Medicine https://exploreim.ucla.edu/mind-body/defining-stress/ [12.05.2020] Stress – Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/stress [12.05.2020] Images: Alexander Schimmeck, Simon Abrams, Marvin Meyer on Unsplash Geschrieben von Tine Steiss Tine ist Teil des happiness.com Teams. Sie ist Künstlerin, Medieningenieurin, MBSR und Meditationslehrerin. Wenn sie nicht an neuen Ideen tüftelt, verwandelt sie ihre Dachterrasse in einen paradiesischen Garten. Erfahre mehr über Tine auf herrberta.art oder in der happiness community.

When we are stuck making a decision, inner turmoil or internal conflict often arises, leading to both mental and physical health issues. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains the meaning of inner turmoil, why it develops, and five steps you can take to move past it. For most of my adolescence and adulthood, I felt internal conflict about where to live. My mother is from one country, and my father was from another. When I was 14, they divorced. Suddenly, my family was scattered across Europe. So, my inner turmoil started. Where – or rather with whom – to live was a burning question during the period of my parent’s divorce. The same issue arose when I had to pick a high school, then college — and after graduation, when I was supposed to get a job. In fact, battling these internal conflicts and turmoil didn’t truly leave my side until recently. And I do not exclude the option of it becoming current again at some point in the future! Inner turmoil AKA internal conflict is everyone’s known (and rather unpleasant) companion. It does not matter if you are picking a shirt or a spouse. Internal conflicts are usually inseparable from the decision-making process. Therefore, we have little choice but to accept their presence. We can, however, understand inner turmoils and learn how to resolve the chaos they tend to cause. In this article, I'll explain: What inner turmoil is and what adversities may come with it What causes internal conflict How to move past it First, let us get to know inner turmoil and why it might be the wrong place for you to stay for too long. What is inner turmoil and why is it bad? Inner turmoil is not, strictly speaking, a phrase that psychologists would use. However, it describes the experience very well. As already mentioned, the term that is used in academic psychology is inner or internal conflict. Internal conflict is one of the prime notions of psychoanalysis. Sigmund Freud described conflicts as a consequence of the coexistence of two or more incompatible elements in a person’s psyche. These elements can be your needs, wants, beliefs, expectations, actions — conscious or unconscious. Simply put, two forces are clashing inside of you. Inner turmoil or internal conflicts cause mental and physical health issues It could be that there are two (or more) options that seem alluring. This is the “easiest” of the conflicts. For example, you could be courted by two people who both attract you. However, by virtue of the situation, when you pick one, you lose the other. Adding to the ordeal is a common effect — the option you dismissed will start looking more appealing. Double-avoidance conflict is a more difficult one because you must choose between two unfavourable options. For example, you might need to decide if you want to be unemployed and broke or accept a job you hate. RELATED: 7 Ways To Develop A Can-Do Attitude Quotes About Worrying: 6 Powerful Sayings To Free Your Mind Discover The 10 Keys To Happier Living Approach-avoidance conflict is something you experience when one option has qualities that both attract and repel you. Moving to a city that you do not like but that offers a better professional outlook is a good example. Or dating someone who you are physically attracted to but whose personality you are unsure of. The problem with this sort of inner turmoil is that the more you approach the option, the more the anxiety grows. On the other hand, the more you move away from it, the more you start to desire it. Why is internal conflict bad for you? As I said before – inner turmoils are not something we can avoid. They are a part of our lives. However, staying in one for too long can be bad for you. Why? When you are not at peace with yourself and do not understand your preferences, you will probably have a hard time getting along with others. Inner conflicts and ambivalent desires transfer to your close relationships. “Moving past inner turmoil and internal conflict means making a move. Whether it's a psychological change or an enacted decision, something has to happen.” Inner turmoil or internal conflict in which you are not clear about your role and identity, as this theoretical paper demonstrated, can make you underperform in negotiations in business. Any other sort of negotiations, it may be added, can be affected by your inability to decide which position and role you are taking. When dealing with internal conflicts and battles, you might find yourself unable to move forward. Research confirms that when you are ambivalent, regardless of how much power in a situation you may have, you will probably remain inert and avoid action. Furthermore, inner turmoil can lead to a range of emotional and physical disturbances. Irritable bowel syndrome, for example, has been found to be associated with internal conflicts. In particular, you may be at risk of the syndrome if you feel uneasy about being emotionally open and expressing your feelings. What causes inner turmoil and internal conflict? Remember my example from the beginning of the article? As I was born and spent most of my life in my father’s homeland, I felt more at home there. On the other hand, it was wiser to move to my mother’s homeland as it has incomparably better living standards. Not to mention wanting to be with my little sister, who was 4-years-old at that point. Understandably so, a long list of problems and issues (logistical and emotional) intertwined with the whole situation. In short, it was a hot mess. And, my inner turmoil was equally as intense. What caused it was too many elements of the situation that did not align with each other. Conflicting needs, beliefs, actions and expectations cause internal turmoil and inner battles. According to the classic psychoanalytic theory, our Ego has to serve three masters. It has to find a way to reconcile the external world’s demands, instinctual needs and desires (Id), and the ethical and moral principles we acquired growing up (Super-Ego). Needless to say, there is rarely harmony between these masters. Internal conflict: our ego has to serve three masters So, inner turmoil arises. You simultaneously want and do not want something. Your longings might clash with your principles. You know that one option is rational, but your heart desires another. Many elements interweave, and you end up in a state of internal chaos. It is an entirely natural position, a part of being a human. You could, for example, be in an utterly unhappy marriage. However, you were raised to consider a divorce as something outright wrong. Your need to feel psychologically well and your ethical beliefs oppose each other. You might long to do something creative in life and be an artist, but you feel pressured to meet your family’s hopes and find an office job. Your true desires and wish to please your loved ones’ expectations clash. Or, you have needs that do not match social norms in your culture, like sexual orientation. The authentic You is not in line with society’s standards, and an inner turmoil and conflict is born. “Once you have committed to leaving the state of turmoil, help yourself decide what you want and what you will do.” You might find yourself falling for your friend or a coworker. You yearn to make a move, but it poses a risk of losing them and destroying the existing relationship. Your feelings conflict with your desire to maintain the safety of what you have now. You may be torn between your roles of an individual, child, parent, friend, professional, spouse, and the desires and expectations that come with those roles. How to move past internal conflict If you're wondering how I resolved the conflict of where to live — I had to make a choice. I was compelled to do so when external circumstances called for it (the divorce, the schooling). But, the time came when I did not have to make a choice — I could merely succumb to inertia and avoid making any commitment. And I did for a long time. Nonetheless, I could not keep dodging a decision forever. Because moving past inner turmoil and internal conflict means making a move. Whether it is a psychological change or an enacted decision, something has to happen. Otherwise, you remain stuck within the whirlpool of conflicting needs and perspectives. So, here are 5 steps you need to take to start dealing with internal conflict: 1. Understand the turmoil Clinical practice shows that you need to explore the symptoms of the conflict — how is it manifested and in what situations do you notice it? What emotions and beliefs are keeping it alive? What rigidities in your mind are preventing you from leaving the conflict behind you? How do you usually try to cope with it? Knowing your most profound traits and desires (even the dark ones) is a must of authentic living and a prerequisite for resolving any inner conflict. 2. Make a decision As I've explained, one of the adversities of inner turmoils is a tendency for inertness they may throw you into. Give yourself enough time to contemplate — but do not procrastinate. Bring yourself to make a move. Fear of change, dread of making a wrong choice, feeling lost in life, or undefined anxiety are perfectly understandable reactions. However, putting a decision off is a kind of self-sabotage. So, promise yourself you are going to move ahead — and do so. Making a choice is essential to escape inner conflict 3. Facilitate the choice Once you have committed to leaving the state of turmoil, help yourself decide what you want and what you will do. Talk to friends, a psychotherapist or a coach, make pros and cons lists — whatever works. 4. Stop feeding the conflict When you have deciphered what has caused your inner turmoil and what you want to do about it, stop adding to the anxiety it causes. For example, if you want to get a divorce, stop evoking the thoughts of how “wrong” it is to do so that your parents or culture imposed on you. 5. Believe in yourself We often feel hindered by self-doubt. You might want to apply for your dream job but are reluctant because you believe you are not good enough. Give yourself plenty of self-love and practise self-compassion. You can do it. Even if you make a wrong choice, you are capable of mending the damage. Takeaway: see inner turmoil as a hint Internal conflicts are anything but a pleasant experience. A quote from Søren Kierkegaard’s ‘Either/Or’ illustrates the anguishing nature of human lives: “Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will also regret that; hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both.” Now, Kierkegaard was a philosopher, hence the hanging. Yet, if you translate the idea to any other choice, the message is clear. Whatever we choose and do, we will probably end regretting it and up believing that the other option was better. However, it does not mean that we are doomed to despair about missed opportunities and errors we made. Instead, approach your inner turmoil as a hint. Meaning that something is going on inside of you, and you need to figure it out. Embrace internal conflicts as a call from your unconscious mind to explore your soul. Use it as a beacon. Let it guide you towards knowing yourself — and making decisions that follow your authentic nature and needs. • Images: shutterstock/ArtFamily, shutterstock/Pixel4Images, shutterstock/ESB Professional happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Self-help | Coaching | Kindness Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

If you're struggling to live in the present moment, these 10 mindfulness quotes from spiritual leaders will inspire you to stay grounded. Recall them when you need to be more mindful. By Calvin Holbrook. Over the past few years, the message about the power of mindfulness has boomed, and for good reason. By practising mindfulness you can be more aware and receptive to how you’re feeling and the reality that surrounds you. Staying mindful is a way of finding pleasure and fulfillment in everyday things and this can make a considerable contribution to your overall happiness. Indeed, by practising mindfulness we can improve our patience levels and also positively change our relationships with loved ones, leading to greater kindness, compassion and understanding. In simple terms, mindfulness is being aware of what is happening to you and around you right now without wishing it were different – even when it seems trivial or negative. Mindfulness also means accepting your life and not being critical or judgmental. In essence, practising mindfulness is simple and straightforward, but it may take time to develop the skills. Having inspiration in the form of mindfulness quotes can help you see the benefits of the practice and give you the power to keep going. The quotes below come from many experts in the field of mindfulness and meditation. Thinking more deeply about the meanings of these quotes will inspire you to practise mindful behavior each and every day. With time, you – and those around you – will really feel the benefits. Mindfulness quotes Recall these ten mindfulness quotes to inspire you and ground you when life is taking you out of the present moment. Focus and bring your mind back to the now. 1. “Wherever you are, be there totally.” Eckhart Tolle German-born Eckhart Tolle is a spiritual teacher and author and one of the most-quoted people when it comes to mindfulness. This quote sums up the essence of mindfulness: being completely in the moment of where you are. Firstly, it works in a mental or emotional setting: whatever your mood or feeling, acknowledge it and accept that that’s how it is at the moment. Don’t force changes (it will pass eventually). • JOIN US! Sign-up to get support from our caring community • This mindfulness quote also applies to your physical location or situation too. For example, you may be unhappy with your living situation at the moment, but simply accepting your situation and not judging it can help. Everything will change. Likewise, in a more positive sense, if you’re enjoying a walk by the seaside or practising some forest bathing, really be there: soak up the sights, sounds and smells of everything around you. Give life your undivided attention. 2. “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” Jon Kabat-Zinn This mindfulness quote from Jon Kabat-Zinn has to be one of our most-loved – and most repeated! Kabat-Zinn is widely recognized as being the father of mindfulness in the Western world. He's also the creator of the original Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course. This well-known quote from him sums up how to deal with life’s ups and downs rather nicely. The waves represent life’s many – and unstoppable – changes and challenges. When faced with choppy seas, instead of drowning in them we can get on our surfboard and learn to deal with them by riding the waves. We will probably fall off our surfboard many times, but we can jump back on, and with practice, we can learn how to navigate life's ever-changing waters better. 3. “Be happy in the moment, that's enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.” Mother Theresa This mindfulness quote from nun and missionary Mother Teresa teaches us to enjoy the moment and not to want more than what we have. Sometimes it can be hard to fully embrace the now and stop worrying about the future, but this quote reminds us that we should try to live simply and in the present. It also reminds us that we should practise gratitude for what we have, however little. By always being more grateful in life, we can become less self-centred and materialistic, and overall become happier with our lives. 4. “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” Thích Nhất Hạnh One of the most influential figures in the fields of mindfulness, meditation and Buddhism, the wisdom of Thích Nhất Hạnh has provided countless quotes on mindfulness, but this is one of my favourites. This quote is all about remaining centred and focusing on our breath through meditation, despite any changes or upsets in our mind. By bringing your attention to your breath, you can calm a busy or troubled mind and bring about an equilibrium. 5. “The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is whether you are alive before death.” Osho Indian mystic Osho was a controversial character, but there’s nothing debatable about this mindfulness quote: we agree 100 per cent! So many of us are rushing through life, doing the things we have to do: the treadmill of work, paying the bills, taking care of the family, etc. But in doing so, we often don’t stop to take in the world around us fully. Being mindful means consciously being aware, stopping to appreciate every moment of life, instead of living it at breakneck speed. “Having some inspiration in the form of mindfulness quotes can help you see the benefits of the practice and give you the power to keep going.” Likewise, this mindfulness quote is also a reminder to ask yourself if you are really living your true, authentic life. Are you doing the things which make you happy in life or are you just a slave to the wage? Are you using all your skills and being the best person that you can be? Using mindfulness can be a great tool to be still and evaluate if you are really alive before death! 6. “Look past your thoughts, so you may drink the pure nectar of This Moment.” Rumi Rumi was a Persian poet born in 1207. Books of his poetry have sold millions of copies in recent years, making him one of the most popular poets in the United States. Pretty good going for someone that lived 800 years ago! This mindfulness quote from Rumi shows why his sayings are so popular. Incredibly, experts estimate that the average mind thinks between 60,000 – 80,000 thoughts a day. Some of those thoughts include minor things like what we are thinking to eat for breakfast, but other, deeper thoughts can fly through our minds all day, such as negative thoughts about the past (rumination) and worries for the future. The problem is, when we are focusing on our thoughts, we are missing what is happening in our lives right now. Here and now. In this very moment. Calming the chatter – the monkey mind – through mindfulness can help you to stop overthinking and live in the present moment, helping you to enjoy life and be happier. 7. “We have only now, only this single eternal moment opening and unfolding before us, day and night.” Jack Kornfield This quote from Jack Kornfield – teacher, writer, and one of the leading proponents of Buddhism in the Western world – encapsulates one of the key elements of mindfulness: living in the present moment. The past is the past; we cannot change it, we can only learn from our mistakes and try to move forward. • JOIN US! Sign up today and make new friends at happiness.com • Likewise, we can try and plan for the future to some degree, but life has the habit of throwing things up in the air to disrupt those plans! Indeed, what we truly only really have is this moment we are living now, and because of that, we should focus on that and make the most of it. 8. “The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.” Tara Brach This mindfulness quote from respected teacher and author Tara Brach is essentially saying the same thing. We must learn to appreciate that our time on Earth is limited and we should make the most of every minute. This quote also hints at the power of gratitude, suggesting we should be grateful for the gift of life and all the wonder it brings. When problems and thoughts start to cloud your mood and mind, remember this mindfulness quote and try to bring yourself back to the idea of appreciating every moment of our existence. 9. “Paradise is not a place; it's a state of consciousness.” Sri Chinmoy All too often we are searching for our own idea of Paradise: be that in the form of our dream home, an exotic holiday or the perfect relationship. And while, of course, it’s great to have dreams to aspire to, we mustn’t neglect the idea that we can be happy with what we already have. Indeed, it’s our mental attitude that can be a source of peace and contentment. If we achieve a peaceful, conscious mind, free from conflict, it can bring us great joy. Practicing mindfulness can help us achieve this state of being. This quote from Indian spiritual leader Sri Chinmoy reminds us that happiness is a journey, not a destination. 10. “Mindfulness isn’t difficult, we just need to remember to do it.” Sharon Salzberg Best-selling author Sharon Salzberg has written many meditation and mindfulness books and has been teaching meditation since 1974. So, she’s pretty well placed to be able to talk about the difficulty – or ease – of practising mindfulness. Indeed, Salzberg's quote is spot-on. Practising mindfulness in itself is not difficult as it’s simply a way of being that doesn’t require any more of our time. However, training our brains to remember to stay mindful at all times can be more of a challenge, especially if mindful behavior is new to us. However, we can change our behavior gradually, and this mindfulness quote is a reminder of that. ● Which of these mindfulness quotes do you live your life by? Do you have any others you would like to share? Let us know in the comments below. Want to discuss mindfulness with like-minded people? Head over to our forum. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Learning | Self care | Meditation Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also enjoys hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

Gardening offers a huge range of mental health benefits, from reducing stress and depression to boosting your immune system. Dee Marques explores seven science-backed reasons to get busy in the garden and boost your well-being. When it comes to strengthening our mental health and finding happiness, common suggestions include taking up a creative hobby, meditation, physical activity, and building solid relationships with others. But did you know that getting green-fingered with gardening could also play an important role in achieving and maintaining happiness and mental well-being? Indeed, the mental health benefits of gardening are many. That could perhaps help explain why gardening seems to be the national pastime in many countries, such as in the UK. According to a recent survey, 80 per cent of British people believe gardening had a positive impact on their mental health, and that the benefits were even better than hitting the gym. Survey participants also said that gardening gave them a stronger sense of achievement than tasks like tidying up or cleaning. Furthermore, a research study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that gardening for as little as 10 minutes per week had a positive impact on health and reduced the risk of developing heart disease. When looking into these studies, what stands out is that we don’t need to spend endless hours in the garden, or even have a traditional garden at all to enjoy it mental health benefits. That's because gardening is within everyone’s reach; you can get started regardless of space or time limitations. For example, using a window box to grow herbs. But before we dig deeper, let's take a quick look at where the concept of gardening for mental health comes from. The healing power of gardening through history The connection between people, nature and mental well-being is rooted in history and goes back to ancient Egypt, where royals who felt mentally restless were encouraged to go for walks in their gardens. Eventually, gardening was tested as a clinical therapy during the 18th and 19th centuries. At around the same time, one of the founding fathers of modern psychology, Benjamin Rush, believed that getting hands-on (and hands dirty) in the garden had a healing effect on his patients. A few decades later, greenhouses and gardens were added to rehabilitation units of hospitals who treated world war veterans. RELATED: How Connecting With Nature Benefits Our Well-Being Fast forward to the present day, and the concept of therapeutic horticulture is practised all over the world. From Italy to Singapore, there are certified horticultural therapy gardens that bring the benefits of gardening for mental health to people of all ages and walks of life. Smells great, feels great! Gardening boosts your mental well-being shutterstock/Dean Drobot This renewed interest in gardening is also a result of changing demographics. The number of elderly people continues to grow in many countries of the Western world, and many have found that gardening is a way of offering support to the growing segment of this population. All this sounds really encouraging, but how exactly can gardening create a sense of happiness and well-being? The 7 mental health benefits of gardening It's clear that gardening for mental health is more than a passing trend. Getting busy with plants is like an escape valve from the pressures and stress of everyday life, but there are other important benefits you won’t want to miss out on. Here are seven ways in which gardening and horticulture therapy can help if you're feeling lonely, low in energy and motivation, or struggling with anxiety. 1. Stress relief One of the main benefits of gardening for mental health is its ability to relieve stress. Researchers saw this relaxing effect when investigating bathing in green or forest bathing, the Japanese concept of walking in forested areas. Gardening also provides a welcome break from our increasingly tech-dominated lives. A study found there were significant differences in mood when comparing participants’ response to two tasks: working on a computer and transplanting. “In a recent survey, 80 per cent of British people believe gardening had a positive impact on their mental health... the benefits were even better than the gym.” When participants were transplanting, they experienced lower stress levels than when they spent time in front of a computer. Researchers also noticed participants had lower blood pressure when transplanting, suggesting there’s a physical basis for the de-stressing effect of gardening. Additionally, research led by Vrije University Medical Centre in the Netherlands showed that simply looking at an image of a green landscape induced relaxation, in contrast to the constant demands for attention of urban landscapes. “Short durations of viewing green pictures may help people to recover from stress,” van den Berg told The New York Times. 2. Grounding and strengthen connections Gardening fosters a sense of grounding, as it helps us to reconnect with our roots as human beings. People who get involved in gardening often experience a deeper sense of belonging and connection with nature. This is no small feat: think about how disconnected the majority of people are from something as basic as the origin of the food they eat. By contrast, gardening grounds you in the value of growing your own food – even if you’re 'only' growing herbs. This sense of grounding also applies to the social sphere. Gardening can help strengthen your connection with others and offers an opportunity to meet people with the same interests. Visiting your nearest urban garden or allotment can connect you with like-minded folk. One benefit of gardening is reduced isolation shutterstock/Tania Kolinko 3. Staying present Staying in the present moment through mindfulness has a long list of benefits, such as reduced rumination and stress reduction. Gardening is a way of practising mindfulness as you need to concentrate on what you're doing. Furthermore, you can also take time to enjoy the beauty around you. Indeed, all tasks related to gardening (such as digging, pruning or weeding) force us to focus on the task in hand, and in doing so we’re more likely to stay in the present and put aside our worries, even if it’s only temporarily. 4. A sense of purpose Another benefit of gardening for mental health is that you can achieve a sense of worth and purpose. This happens when you get directly involved in something that is hands-on and you can see the end result of your effort. There’s a sense of pride and validation in choosing the plants, herbs and flowers that make you happy, and the pride you feel with nurturing them. In fact, studies show that gardening causes an increase in feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin, as helping plants grow stimulates our identity as nurturers. 5. Reduces the risk of Alzheimer's Gardening is related to better brain function and to improved concentration and memory. Some studies have found that it can even reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s and dementia. One long-term study from Australia followed nearly 3,000 older adults for over 15 years, tracking incidence of all types of dementia and assessing a variety of lifestyle factors. The researchers concluded that daily gardening was the single biggest risk reduction for dementia, reducing incidence by over a third – 36 per cent to be precise. “People who get involved in gardening often experience the mental health benefit of a deeper sense of belonging and connection with nature.” The factors that cause Alzheimer’s and its progression are poorly understood. However, as gardening involves so many of our critical functions, such as learning, strength, endurance, dexterity and problem solving, it could be this combination that contributes to warding off the illness in older adults. RELATED: How to Talk to a Parent With Dementia 6. Helps you to keep in shape Gardening involves a lot of physical exercise and so is a form of physical therapy. Weeding, digging, and carrying bags and pots around are all a good workout that can help you keep in shape. According to SAGA magazine, just half an hour of these fat-burning gardening activities can help shift a lot of calories: Digging and shovelling: 250 calories Mowing the lawn: 195 calories Weeding: 105 calories Raking: 100 calories What’s more, regular workouts can help you sleep better, and restful sleep is another essential element in achieving good health. Gardening creates a sense of purpose and achievement shutterstock/Alexander Raths 7. Strengthens your immune system You can strengthen your immune system simply by being exposed to natural light and Vitamin D while you’re gardening outdoors. In turn, this helps build resistance again chronic disease. Interestingly, it's also been suggested that the dirt you end up with under your fingernails may help to boost immunity. Mycobacterium vaccae, a so-called 'friendly' soil bacteria which is common in garden dirt, has been shown to alleviate symptoms of allergies, asthma and psoriasis, all of which can stem from a weakened immune system. In fact, Mycobacterium vaccae has also been shown to reduce depression, so don't be afraid to get your hands dirty: the bacteria can be absorbed by inhalation or ingested from your vegetables. Conclusion: gardening benefits our mental health These are only the proven benefits of gardening for mental health. In this post, we’ve seen that gardening is a natural anti-depressant that can have a powerful reset effect in our minds and bodies. Getting green-fingered is an accessible activity that requires minimal investment. If you have a balcony, a window sill, or even hanging space in your home, you can start gardening and experience a boost in happiness and well-being. It’s that simple! ● Main image: shutterstock/iko happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Organic food | Kitchen garden | Self care Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.