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The world's problems may feel overwhelming, but we can nurture our caring spirit so we stay active in solving them. By Tim Desmond on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. Looking around today, it’s hard to escape the conclusion that our world is screwed. Of course, there’s a lot of beauty in the world, too; but the sheer magnitude of violence, greed, hatred, and straight-up stupidity can be overwhelming if we pay attention and care about what’s happening around us. What’s more terrifying, though? When good-hearted people get overwhelmed by all of it, lose touch with their humanity, and stop caring. The challenge of staying human in the middle of this comes down to how we respond to the suffering around us and in ourselves. If we despair and give up, that’s not helpful; on the other hand, it also doesn’t help if we allow self-righteousness to poison us with indignation. Whether we are hurting because of our own problems or from witnessing the pain of others, we have to learn how to take care of our compassionate natures, so we don’t get overwhelmed. Sad stories: the news is full of negativity In my book, How to Stay Human in a F*cked-Up World, I write about how a meditation practice can help you to cultivate an open heart in the face of so much suffering. These teachings can be applied to a formal sitting meditation practice, or just used to develop new ways to relate to yourself. Here are some of the things I’ve found helpful — supported by science — that you can do yourself when the world becomes too much. The part of life that’s beautiful When everything around you seems f***ed up, it’s easy to think nothing good exists — or even if it did, it wouldn’t matter. However, if you only pay attention to what’s painful in your life, you will inevitably end up exhausted and overwhelmed. Since we tend to keep bad stuff in our minds more than good stuff, we need to actively seek out what’s beautiful in life to overcome this natural negativity bias. And we should, because experiencing positive emotions — like happiness and awe — can give us the energy we’ll need to be more involved in caring for others. RELATED: 11 science-backed truths about finding happiness One practice I offer in my book is to list all of the conditions for happiness that are present in your life right now — maybe things you take for granted, like having a warm bed or having a close friend. Every moment contains infinite causes for happiness and infinite causes for suffering. The condition of our minds depends on what we’re paying attention to. So, we train ourselves not to forget what’s beautiful.
 The part of life that’s painful Acknowledging what’s beautiful in the world doesn’t mean that we’re ignoring what’s painful. Instead, we learn how to mindfully listen to pain with love and acceptance. We become aware that fear, anger, or grief is present inside of us. Then we can approach our pain with the attitude of “I see that you’re suffering. Everyone suffers sometimes, and you’re allowed to feel what you feel. I am here for you.” This acceptance can help us to manage our stress and have more energy to stay compassionate when faced with the problems of the world. “If you only pay attention to what’s painful in your life, you will inevitably end up exhausted and overwhelmed.” In my own life, there are many moments when I feel like avoiding my suffering. However, I’ve learned that my life can be much better if I do the exact opposite. Instead of running away, I bring a more focused attention to the unpleasant sensations in my body and tell myself, “Whatever you feel in this moment is completely OK.” Resistance may arise in me — I may tell myself that I don’t want to feel like this — but I just shift my attention and acceptance to that voice, saying to myself, “I know you want ease and safety, just like everyone else does. I’m here to listen and help.” This self-compassion soothes me and works much better than trying to transform my pain by ignoring it or berating myself for it. RELATED: How to avoid keep the greater good in mind during the Coronavirus outbreak When I say “like everyone else does,” it helps me to keep in mind our common humanity — particularly the fact that what we do is always motivated by the desire to avoid suffering and find wellness. If you’re angry about a social injustice, the deepest motivation for that anger is your wish to live in a peaceful and just world. If you lost your temper with your child and now feel ashamed, the deepest motivation in your shame is your wish to have the best possible relationship with your child. When we look at our thoughts, feelings, and actions under the light of that understanding, we can more easily forgive ourselves and others when we or they fall short. Stay human, even when other people suck Humans can be pretty terrible at getting along. Whether it’s two people who are in love but can’t stop hurting each other or thousands of people who are trying to build a social movement but can’t agree on anything, it seems like it shouldn’t be this hard. But it is. Forever friends: appreciate the good stuff shutterstock/rawpixel.com When your interaction with someone is derailing, take a minute to consider whether you are criticizing or making a demand of them. Then, check in with yourself: What need is underneath this? What’s my deepest motivation? Maybe you’re yelling at your spouse because she’s late (again) from work and the dinner you made is getting cold. The hidden need might be that you don’t feel respected or appreciated for your efforts… and you’re hungry! When you identify the hidden need, self-compassion becomes easier. In that moment, your practice can sound like, “I’m angry because I want to feel respected and appreciated, just like every other human being. That wish in me is beautiful, and it’s OK for me to feel it.” Breathing like this for a minute or so will usually defuse your frustration. In the light of seeing your own deeper needs, you’ll also feel more curious about the needs motivating the other person. RELATED: How to practise self-compassion – 6 proven techniques Applying the teachings of mindfulness and self-compassion to real-life challenges isn’t easy. My new book tells the story of how I’ve learned to deepen my practice through healing from a difficult childhood, engaging in political organizing, and losing my wife to cancer. I hope it can inspire you to deepen your practice, as well. ● Main image: shutterstock/Dragon Images Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. Happiness.com is honoured to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

Hast du manchmal Schwierigkeiten, im Jetzt zu leben? Dann können dir diese zehn Achtsamkeitszitate von spirituellen Lehrern helfen, dich zu erden. Erinnere dich an sie, wenn du dich in der Vergangenheit oder der Zukunft verlierst. Von Calvin Holbrook. Dieser Artikel erschien im Original im englischen happiness Magazin. In den letzten Jahren hat die Botschaft über die Kraft der Achtsamkeit einen Boom erlebt. Zu Recht, wie wir finden. Denn indem du Achtsamkeit übst, kannst du bewusster und empfänglicher dafür sein, wie du dich fühlst und welche Realität dich umgibt. Achtsam zu bleiben ist eine Möglichkeit, Freude und Erfüllung in alltäglichen Dingen zu finden. Dies kann einen erheblichen Beitrag zu deinem allgemeinen Glück leisten. In der Tat können wir durch das Üben von Achtsamkeit geduldiger werden und auch unsere Beziehungen zu geliebten Menschen positiv verändern. Mit Achtsamkeit wächst Freundlichkeit, Mitgefühl und Verständnis. In einfachen Worten bedeutet Achtsamkeit, sich dessen bewusst zu sein, was gerade mit dir und deiner Umgebung geschieht, ohne sich zu wünschen, dass es anders wäre - selbst wenn es trivial oder negativ scheint. Achtsamkeit bedeutet auch, dein Leben zu akzeptieren und nicht kritisch oder wertend zu sein. Im Wesentlichen ist das Üben von Achtsamkeit einfach und unkompliziert, aber es kann einige Zeit dauern, bis es gelingt. Inspiration in Form von Achtsamkeitszitaten kann dir helfen, die Vorteile der Praxis zu erkennen und dir die Kraft zu geben, weiterzumachen. Die folgenden Zitate stammen von vielen Experten auf dem Gebiet der Achtsamkeit und Meditation. Wenn du tiefer über die Bedeutung dieser Zitate nachdenkst, wirst du inspiriert, jeden Tag achtsames Verhalten zu üben. Mit der Zeit wirst du - und deine Mitmenschen - die Vorteile spüren. Achtsamkeitszitate Erinnere dich an diese zehn Zitate über Achtsamkeit, um dich zu inspirieren und zu erden, wenn das Leben dich aus dem gegenwärtigen Moment herausholt. Konzentriere dich und bringe deinen Geist zurück ins Jetzt. 1. "Wo immer du bist, sei ganz dort." Eckhart Tolle Der in Deutschland geborene Eckhart Tolle ist ein spiritueller Lehrer und Autor. Er ist einer der meistzitierten Menschen, wenn es um Achtsamkeit geht. Dieses Zitat fasst die Essenz der Achtsamkeit zusammen: ganz im Moment zu sein, in dem du dich befindest. Das funktioniert in einer mentalen oder emotionalen Umgebung: Was auch immer deine Stimmung oder dein Gefühl ist, erkenne es an und akzeptiere, dass es im Moment so ist. Erzwinge keine Änderungen (es wird irgendwann vergehen). Dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat gilt auch für deinen physischen Standort oder deine Situation. Zum Beispiel kannst du im Moment mit deiner Lebenssituation unzufrieden sein, aber es kann hilfreich sein, deine Situation einfach zu akzeptieren und nicht zu beurteilen. Alles wird sich verändern. In einem positiveren Sinne, wenn du einen Spaziergang am Meer genießt oder ein Waldbad nimmst, sei wirklich da: Nimm die Sehenswürdigkeiten, Geräusche und Gerüche von allen Dingen um dich herum auf. Schenk dem Leben deine ungeteilte Aufmerksamkeit. 2. „Du kannst die Wellen nicht stoppen, aber du kannst lernen zu surfen.“ Jon Kabat-Zinn Dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat von Jon Kabat-Zinn müsste eines unserer beliebtesten sein - und wir sollten es oft in unseren Gedanken wiederholen. Kabat-Zinn ist in der westlichen Welt weithin als Vater der Achtsamkeit anerkannt. Er ist auch der Schöpfer des ursprünglichen MBSR-Kurses (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction). Dieses bekannte Zitat von ihm fasst zusammen, wie man mit den Höhen und Tiefen des Lebens gut umgehen kann. Die Wellen repräsentieren die vielen - und unaufhaltsamen - Veränderungen und Herausforderungen des Lebens. Wenn wir mit unruhiger See konfrontiert sind, können wir, anstatt in ihnen zu ertrinken, auf unser Surfbrett steigen. Wir können lernen, mit ihnen umzugehen, indem wir auf den Wellen reiten. Wir werden wahrscheinlich viele Male von unserem Surfbrett fallen, aber wir können es immer und immer wieder versuchen. Mit etwas Übung lernen wir, wie wir besser durch die sich ständig verändernden Gewässer des Lebens navigieren können. Übrigens: Wir bieten einen kostenlosen MBSR-Kurs in unserer happiness Akademie an! 3. „Sei in diesem Moment glücklich, das ist genug. Wir brauchen nicht mehr, als diesen Moment.“ Mutter Theresa Dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat der Nonne und Missionarin Mutter Teresa lehrt uns, den Moment zu genießen und nicht mehr zu wollen als das, was wir haben. Manchmal kann es schwierig sein, das Jetzt vollständig zu erfassen und sich keine Sorgen mehr um die Zukunft zu machen, aber dieses Zitat erinnert uns daran, dass wir versuchen sollten, einfach und in der Gegenwart zu leben. Es erinnert uns auch daran, dass wir Dankbarkeit für das üben sollten, was wir haben, egal wie wenig das erscheinen mag. Indem wir im Leben immer dankbarer sind, können wir weniger egozentrisch und materialistisch werden und insgesamt glücklicher mit unserem Leben werden. 4. „Gefühle kommen und gehen wie Wolken am Himmel. Das achtsame Atmen ist mein Anker im Hier und Jetzt. “ Thích Nhất Hạnh Als eine der einflussreichsten Figuren in den Bereichen Achtsamkeit, Meditation und Buddhismus hat die Weisheit von Thích Nhất Hạnh unzählige Zitate über Achtsamkeit geliefert, aber dieses ist eines meiner Favoriten. In diesem Zitat geht es darum, zentriert zu bleiben und uns durch Meditation auf unseren a zu konzentrieren, trotz aller Veränderungen oder Verstimmungen in unserem Geist. Indem du deine Aufmerksamkeit auf deinen Atem lenkst, kannst du einen beschäftigten oder unruhigen Geist beruhigen und ein Gleichgewicht herstellen. 5. „Die Frage ist nicht, ob es ein Leben nach dem Tod gibt. Die Frage ist, ob du vor dem Tod lebendig bist.“ Osho Der indische Mystiker Osho war ein kontroverser Charakter, aber an diesem Achtsamkeits-Zitat ist nichts zu diskutieren: Wir stimmen ihm hierbei 100%ig zu! So viele von uns eilen durch das Leben, sind mit Dingen beschäftigt, die wir tun müssen: Arbeit, Rechnungen bezahlen, Kinder betreuen usw. Dabei vergessen wir inne zuhalten und die Welt zu betrachten. Achtsam zu sein bedeutet, sich bewusst zu sein, anzuhalten, um jeden Moment des Lebens zu schätzen, anstatt ihn in halsbrecherischer Geschwindigkeit zu überleben. "Wenn du dich von Achtsamkeitszitaten inspirieren lässt, kannst du Vorteile erkennen und erhältst die Kraft, weiterzumachen." Dieses Achtsamkeitszitat ist eine Erinnerung daran, dich zu fragen, ob du wirklich dein wahres, authentisches Leben führen. Tust du die Dinge, die dich im Leben glücklich machen, oder bist du ein Sklave deines Lohnzettels? Setzt du all deine Fähigkeiten ein und bist die beste Person, die du sein kannst? Achtsamkeit kann ein großartiges Werkzeug sein, um inne zu halten und zu bewerten, ob du vor dem Tod wirklich am Leben bist! 6. „Blicke über deine Gedanken hinaus und trinke den reinen Nektar dieses Augenblicks.“ Rumi Rumi war ein persischer Dichter, der 1207 geboren wurde. Bücher seiner Gedichte wurden in den letzten Jahren millionenfach verkauft, was ihn zu einem der beliebtesten Dichter in den Vereinigten Staaten macht. Ziemlich gut für jemanden, der vor 800 Jahren gelebt hat! Dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat von Rumi zeigt, warum seine Sprüche so beliebt sind. Unglaublich: Experten schätzen, dass der durchschnittliche Verstand zwischen 60.000 und 80.000 Gedanken pro Tag denkt. Einige dieser Gedanken beinhalten Kleinigkeiten wie das, was wir zum Frühstück essen wollen. Andere, tiefere Gedanken können uns den ganzen Tag durch den Kopf gehen, wie negative Gedanken über die Vergangenheit (Wiederkäuen) und Sorgen um die Zukunft. Das Problem ist: Wenn wir uns auf unsere Gedanken konzentrieren, verpassen wir, was gerade in unserem Leben passiert. Hier und Jetzt. In diesem Moment. VERWANDTES THEMA: Im Hier und Jetzt leben - mit Übungen für mehr Achtsamkeit und Selbstliebe Wenn du das Gebrabbel deiner Gedanken durch Achtsamkeit beruhigst, kannst du aufhören zu überdenken und im gegenwärtigen Moment leben. So kannst du das Leben genießen und glücklicher sein. 7. „Wir haben nur diesen gegenwärtigen Moment, nur diesen einzigartigen und ewigen Augenblick, der sich vor unseren Augen öffnet und entfaltet, Tag und Nacht.“ Jack Kornfield Dieses Zitat von Jack Kornfield - Lehrer, Schriftsteller und einer der führenden Befürworter des Buddhismus in der westlichen Welt - fasst eines der Schlüsselelemente der Achtsamkeit zusammen: das Leben im gegenwärtigen Moment. Vergangenheit ist Vergangenheit; wir können es nicht ändern, wir können nur aus unseren Fehlern lernen und versuchen, vorwärts zu kommen. Ebenso können wir versuchen, bis zu einem gewissen Grad für die Zukunft zu planen. Aber das Leben hat die Angewohnheit, diese Pläne zu stören. Letztlich haben wir wirklich nur diesen Moment, in dem wir jetzt leben, und deshalb sollten wir uns darauf konzentrieren und das Beste daraus machen. 8. "Die einzige Art zu leben besteht darin, jede Minute als unwiederholbares Wunder zu akzeptieren." Tara Brach Dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat der angesehenen Lehrerin und Autorin Tara Brach wiederholt im Wesentlichen die Aussage der obigen Zitate. Wir müssen schätzen lernen, dass unsere Zeit auf der Erde begrenzt ist und wir sollten jede Minute optimal nutzen. Dieses Zitat weist auch auf die Kraft der Dankbarkeit hin und schlägt vor, dass wir für das Geschenk des Lebens und all die Wunder, das es bringt, dankbar sein sollten. Wenn Probleme und Gedanken deine Stimmung und deinen Geist trüben, erinnere dich an dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat. Versuche wieder, jeden Moment deiner Existenz zu schätzen. 9. „Das Paradies ist kein Ort; Es ist ein Bewusstseinszustand.“ Sri Chinmoy Allzu oft suchen wir nach unserer eigenen Vorstellung vom Paradies: sei es in Form unseres Traumhauses, eines exotischen Urlaubs oder der perfekten Beziehung. Natürlich ist es großartig, Träume zu haben, nach denen wir streben können. Aber wir dürfen die Idee nicht vernachlässigen, dass wir mit dem, was wir bereits haben, glücklich sein können. Es ist unsere mentale Einstellung, die eine Quelle des Friedens und der Zufriedenheit sein kann. Wenn wir ein friedliches, bewusstes und konfliktfreies Bewusstsein erreichen, kann es uns große Freude bereiten. Das Üben von Achtsamkeit kann uns helfen, diesen Zustand zu erreichen. Dieses Zitat des indischen spirituellen Führers Sri Chinmoy erinnert uns daran, dass Glück eine Reise ist, kein Ziel. 10. "Achtsamkeit ist nicht schwierig, wir müssen uns nur daran erinnern, achtsam zu sein." Sharon Salzberg Die Bestsellerautorin Sharon Salzberg hat viele Meditations- und Achtsamkeitsbücher geschrieben und unterrichtet seit 1974 Meditation. Sie ist also ziemlich gut aufgestellt, um über die Schwierigkeit - oder Leichtigkeit - des Übens von Achtsamkeit sprechen zu können. In der Tat ist Salzbergs Zitat genau richtig. Achtsamkeit an sich zu üben ist nicht schwierig, da es einfach eine Art zu Sein ist, die nicht wirklich Zeit kostet. Das Training unseres Gehirns, um sich daran zu erinnern, jederzeit achtsam zu bleiben, kann jedoch eine größere Herausforderung sein, insbesondere wenn achtsames Verhalten für uns neu ist. Wir können unser Verhalten jedoch schrittweise ändern und dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat erinnert daran. ● Nach welchen dieser Achtsamkeitszitate lebst du dein Leben? Begleiten dich noch andere, die du teilen möchtest? Lass es uns in den Kommentaren unten wissen. Möchtest du mit Gleichgesinnten über Achtsamkeit sprechen? Dann schau doch mal in unserem Forum vorbei! Geschrieben von Calvin Holbrook aus dem Englischen von Veronika Eicher Calvin ist der Herausgeber des happiness.com-Magazins, Künstler und Liebhaber von alten Dingen. Er geht gerne Schwimmen, macht Yoga und tanzt gerne zu House- und Techno-Musik. Hier erfährst du mehr über Calvin.

What exactly are the Four Agreements? Arlo Laibowitz explores these ancient suggestions for ways of living your life in happiness... Do self-help books help? This simple and provocative question is the title of an article by Ad Bergsma in the Journal of Happiness Studies. In this article, Bergsma studies the different types of psychological self-help books – such as The Four Agreements – and their possible positive effects. When discussing the arguments of opponents of these books, he coins existing terms to describe them: ‘psychobabble’, ‘false hope syndrome’, and the problem of ‘one-size fits all’. Still, there are positive effects to be noted. One of them, according to researcher Steven Starker is this: 'Of what value is an inspirational message to those in need of health, beauty, happiness, success and creativity? In general, it lifts the spirit, engenders and supports hope, and keeps people striving towards their goals; it also fends off feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, despair and depression. This constitutes its greatest service.' The Four Agreements is a self-help book by Mexican author Don Miguel Ruiz. It is, according to its author, a book based on ancient wisdom by the pre-Columbian Toltecs. The historicity of the Toltecs is a matter of scholarly debate, but, according to Ruiz, they were a group of scientists and artists who came together to explore and conserve the spiritual knowledge of the “ancient ones”. When looking closer at the book's content, there are parallels with modern psychology and cognitive therapy, with spiritual and mindfulness teachings, and with general happiness practices that are being researched and supported by modern psychology. What are the Four Agreements? Esoteric psychobabble, valuable ancient wisdom, or borrowed ideas? Whatever the Four Agreements are, they have given me and many others hope and have fended off the despair that Starker speaks of. So, what are the Four Agreements exactly? And how can they help us to attain more happiness? Four Agreements: summary Put in their most basic form, the Four Agreements are: 1. Be impeccable with your word Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. 2. Don’t take anything personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. This also includes the voices inside your mind. 3. Don’t make assumptions Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. 4. Always do your best Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to unwell. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret. Sounds simple, right? No hocus-pocus or fancy spiritualism. However, when looking at the meat of The Four Agreements book, things get a bit more complicated, but also more interesting. Toltec wisdom and The Dream of the World The structure of The Four Agreements is like an oreo: the agreements are sandwiched in between spiritual guidance and thoughts. At the beginning of the book, Ruiz starts off with some Toltec mythology, and introducing the concept of “the dream of the world”: that is an important prerequisite to understanding the meaning of the agreements themselves. The Toltec had their own mythology, that stated that a couple of thousands of years ago, a man studied to be a medicine man, and discovered that everything is made of light and that all existence is one living being. “Whatever the Four Agreements are, they have given me and many others hope and fended off despair.” One passage from the book reads as follows: "This is what he discovered: everything in existence is a manifestation of the one living being we call God. Everything is God. And he concluded that human perception is merely light perceiving light. He also saw that matter is a mirror — everything is a mirror that reflects light and creates images of that light — and the world of illusion, the Dream, is just like smoke which doesn't allow us to see what we really are. […] Once he knew what he really was, he looked around at other humans and the rest of nature, and was amazed at what he saw. He saw himself in everything — in every human, in every animal, in every tree, in the water, in the rain, in the clouds, in the earth.” When reading this passage for the first time, it might strike you as very similar to the Buddhist notion of the illusion of the separate self, known as Anatta. The teaching of the Self and Not-Self is instrumental in the path to happiness, as they are associated with processes of acceptance and letting go. This is also very familiar to the philosophy of Alan Watts, especially The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are. In it, Watts argues very similar concepts of the illusion of the Ego, and the arguable truth that the Universe “peoples”: that we are extensions of the universe, reflecting on itself. Our path to happiness lies in embracing that reality, instead of clinging on to notions of the Ego and the Self that separate us from others and the world at large. A happier outlook on the world is recognising the connectedness we have to the world. The Dream of the World Next, Ruiz discusses what he calls the Dream of the World. Recognising that what we perceive as reality is but a dream, how is this dream made? Don Miguel Ruiz argues that truth is replaced in our world by symbols, words, which are only illusions. As children, we believe what adults tell us about the world, and we start to dream with others in the world. Our dream tells us how to act in the world, what to believe and what not, what is acceptable behaviour and what isn't, what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is bad. We accept all of these notions because we make agreements with ourselves and the world. We create an inner Judge, and this Judge constantly judges and punishes us when we don’t live up to our self-created agreements. In this process, we create the Victim, who carries guilt, and gets punished over and over again. This notion of the Judge and the Victim strongly resembles the ideas that Kristin Neff introduces in her method of Mindful Self Compassion, and especially in her article 'The Role of Self-Compassion in Development: A Healthier Way to Relate to Oneself'. She analyses the way we develop notions of self-judgement, and thereby neglect self-compassion. In our development, we create notions of self-esteem that are detrimental to us, for we cannot live up to our own standards. The answer to this self-judgement is self-compassion, a method to be more kind, more compassionate, towards ourselves. RELATED: How to practise self-compassion – 6 proven techniques Neff writes: "We know we are not what we believe we are supposed to be and so we feel false, frustrated, and dishonest. We try to hide ourselves, and we pretend to be what we are not. The result is that we feel unauthentic and wear social masks to keep others from noticing this. We are so afraid that somebody else will notice that we are not what we pretend to be. “We judge others according to our image of perfection as well, and naturally, they fall short of our expectations. We dishonour ourselves just to please other people. We even harm our physical bodies just to be accepted by others. […] Therefore we live in a dream of hell, and we search for a way to transform this into a dream of heaven. To escape our dream of hell, we have to break old agreements, that are fear based, and reclaim our freedom and power. The four agreements help us breaking down all our old agreements.” So, this is how all of this relates to the Four Agreements that Ruiz proposes afterwards. Because we create a divide between ourselves and the world, the Universe, and because we create the Judge/Victim dichotomy within ourself, we live in tension, we feel inauthentic and dishonest. We make toxic agreements with ourselves about ourselves, and about our relationships with others. The Four Agreements help us to replace these toxic agreements with newer, happier agreements. The Four Agreements: the long version 1. Be impeccable with your word "Be impeccable with your word. This is the first agreement that you should make if you want to be free if you want to be happy […] Use the word in the correct way. Use the word to share your love. Use white magic, beginning with yourself. Tell yourself how wonderful you are, how great you are. Tell yourself how much you love yourself. Use the word to break all those teeny, tiny agreements that make you suffer.” The first agreement sounds simple. But, it encompasses a couple of different notions. Literally, impeccable means “without sin”. Don Miguel Ruiz invites us to be without sin in our words, as the first way to replace our old agreements with new ones. Both the words we utter to ourselves, and that words that we utter to others. If we love ourselves, we use kind words to ourselves, instead of committing the ’sin’ of going against yourself. We take responsibility for our actions, but we don’t judge or blame ourselves. If we love others, we don’t gossip or talk badly to or about them, but we share our common humanity. The Four Agreements does not allow for gossiping shutterstock/rawpixel.com This first agreement has strong connection to both ‘mindset’, as proposed by psychologist Carol Dweck, and with the fundamentals of Neuro-Linguistic Programming [NLP], as can be found in Brian Colbert's writings. The idea of mindset, and especially of ‘growth mindset’, states that we can develop and alter our abilities through dedication and work. NLP engages its practitioners in the power of language and how we use it internally, to impact how we view and experience ourselves and the world. Call it impeccability with our word, ‘growth mindset’, or NLP. In any case, we can live happier lives if we use our words (for example with these NLP happiness techniques), both internally and to others, for good. 2. Don’t take anything personally "During the period of our education, or our domestication, we learn to take everything personally. We think we are responsible for everything. Me, me, me, always me! Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of them.” Ruiz argues that everything that others say or do is because of their dream, not because of us. This goes for both criticism, but also for positive comments that others make about us. We don’t have to take any of that personally. When we stop taking things personally, we don’t get hurt anymore by others and can keep being impeccable with our word in our communication with them. Furthermore, he argues that we don’t even have to take ourselves, or the things we say to ourselves, personally. "If you live without fear, if you love, there is no place for any of those emotions. If you don’t feel any of those emotions, it is logical that you will feel good. When you feel good, everything around you is good. When everything around you is great, everything makes you happy. You love everything that is around you because you love yourself. Because you like the way you are because you are content with you. Because you are happy with your life […] happy with your agreements with life.” The notion of not taking anything personally, and finding communication that is non-confrontational to leave space for the other to live their ‘dream', resonates strongly with the idea of Non-Violent Communication [NVC]. Originally developed by Marshall Rosenberg, NVC focuses on three aspects of communication: self-empathy (deep and compassionate awareness of one's own experience) empathy (understanding of the heart in which we see the beauty in the other person) honest self-expression (expressing oneself authentically in a way that is likely to inspire compassion in others) NVC proposes that if people can identify their needs, the needs of others, and the feelings that surround these needs, harmony can be achieved. 3. Don’t make assumptions "We tend to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking — we take it personally — then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word.” Don Miguel Ruiz argues that most of our suffering stems from our tendency to make assumptions. We find this notion as well in Cognitive Therapy, and especially in the research of Aaron Beck. Beck states that we have cognitive distortions, or thinking patterns, that interfere with how we perceive an event. These distortions can feed negative emotions and communication. Don't assume anything shutterstock/Gustavo Frazao One of these distortions is jumping to conclusions, or ‘mind reading', in which we infer other people’s thoughts. The solution to having these distortions, or making assumptions, is to ask questions, and making sure that communication is clear. Even then, don’t assume that you know everything about the situation. "We also make assumptions about ourselves, and this creates a lot of inner conflicts. “I think I can do this.” You make this assumption, for instance, then you discover you aren't able to do it. You overestimate or underestimate yourself because you haven’t taken the time to ask yourself questions and to answer them. Perhaps you need to gather more facts about a particular situation. Or maybe you need to stop lying to yourself about what you truly want.” As with not taking anything personally, Ruiz also invites us to examine the assumptions we make about ourselves. Only when we are mindful of the things we tell ourselves that are within or not within our capabilities, and when we stop making assumptions about what others mean, can we become happier. 4. Always do your best “There is just one more agreement, but it’s the one that allows the other three to become deeply ingrained habits. The fourth agreement is about the action of the first three: Always do your best. Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. […] But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.” The fourth agreement seems very simple to make with ourselves, if we allow ourselves to stop judging, and don’t make assumptions about our capabilities. However, there is another element to this agreement, which according to Ruiz increases our happiness dramatically: "Doing your best, you are going to live your life intensely. You are going to be productive; you are going to be good to yourself, because you will be giving yourself to your family, to your community, to everything. But it is the action that is going to make you feel intensely happy. When you always do your best, you take action. Doing your best is taking action because you love it, not because you’re expecting a reward.” This action-based happiness, this appreciation for process over outcome, and the appreciation for doing our best, we find in the writings of psychologist and researcher Martin Seligman as well. In his book Flourish: A New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being, Seligman denies simplistic notions of happiness and suggests how people can flourish. Seligman names the key elements to flourish as ‘PERMA' P – positive emotion E – your engagement R – relationships M – meaning A – sense of accomplishment To flourish, you need to change how you behave in order to improve those key elements. You cannot flourish just by trying to think differently because positive thinking has to be accompanied by coherent behaviours, actions. Taking this one step further, there are also parallels with the Ten Keys to Happier Living that Action for Happiness synthesised from happiness research. Their GREAT DREAM constitutes of: Giving – do things for others Relating – connect with people Exercising – taking care of your body Appreciating – awareness of what you do and the world around you Trying Out – doing new things Direction – doing things towards a goal Resilience – bouncing back after something negative Emotion – being positive about what you do Acceptance - that we all have faults and that things go wrong Meaning – being part of something bigger So, when we do our best, both in keeping the four agreements and in the actions we take in the world, we can truly be happy. Living with the Four Agreements The Four Agreements seem simple but have a world of inner transformation, spiritual growth, and action-based happiness at their core. When we try to live with the Agreements and learn from the world of thoughts and philosophies connected with them, step-by-step we can create more loving, more compassionate, more connected lives. Ruiz’ message ultimately strongly resonates with the teachings by the Dalai Lama. As Ruiz states at the end of his book: “The world is very beautiful and very wonderful. Life can be easy when love is your way of life. You can be loving all the time. This is your choice. You may not have a reason to love, but you can love because to love makes you so happy. Love in action only produces happiness. Love will give you inner peace. It will change your perception of everything. […] Maybe we cannot escape from the destiny of the human, but we have a choice: to suffer our destiny or to enjoy our destiny. To suffer, or to love and be happy. To live in hell, or to live in heaven. My choice is to live in heaven. What is yours?” ● Main image: Colourbox.com Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.

Whether it’s a friend, colleague or a family member that's having it, panic attacks are scary to witness. Calvin Holbrook explains how you can support someone who is having a panic attack while also keeping yourself calm, too. As someone that lives with anxiety and has had many panic attacks in the past, believe me when I say that panic attacks can be truly terrifying events when you are going through one. However, panic attacks can also be equally as frightening for anyone that is witnessing somebody have one – especially if it's a particularly bad episode. Furthermore, the feeling of fear for those watching someone having a panic attack can be heightened if they’ve never witnessed somebody having one before. That's because during a panic attack, the physical symptoms may be so intense that the person suffering it feels like they're having a heart attack or are about to die. Panic attacks will also often come totally out of the blue. So, for a friend, colleague or family member observing what seems like an emergency room moment, this can, of course, cause great alarm, upset and confusion as to how to help exactly. Indeed, during some of my most powerful panic attacks I’ve asked family members to call me an ambulance as the tightening chest pain, shortness of breath and palpitations has convinced me that I’m going into cardiac arrest. How to help someone having a panic attack: first, stay calm While it can clearly be unsettling and difficult when someone you care about is going through a panic attack or a related anxiety episode, there are things you can do to assist them to get them through it. How do you know if it's a panic attack? It can be useful to learn anxiety attack warning signs if you're unfamiliar with them. That way you can be prepared for when someone develops an episode. Panic attacks commonly begin with: hyperventilation and/or shortness of breath tingling in hands or feet chest/arm pain a feeling of terror or dread a pounding heart dizziness and/or shaking dry mouth sweating However, as all of these symptoms could also suggest a possible heart attack, this can sometimes increase the anxiety of the person having the panic attack and also add to confusion about the best way you can help. I'll discuss when to call for medical assistance later, but one key point to remember is that with a heart attack chest pain usually continues to get worse and/or radiates to someone's arm or jaw. How to help someone having a panic attack If you know that a friend or colleague lives with anxiety and regularly lives with panic attacks, the situation should be easier to handle – for both of you. However, if you’re witnessing someone have their first panic attack, the person going though it is likely to be just as alarmed as you are. Here are seven suggestions for how to help someone when they are having a panic attack. 1. Stay calm yourself Watching someone going through a panic attack can be frightening, but it won’t help if you start to panic, too. Be assured that if it’s definitely a panic attack, then your friend is at no physical risk. Panic attacks normally don’t last too long – with the most intense feelings lasting around 10-15 minutes – so be assured this uncomfortable situation will come to an end sooner or later. 2. Use a calm voice to reassure them If speaking with the person having a panic attack seems to help them, try telling them these things in a calm voice: that they’re safe reassuring them that you won’t leave them reminding them the panic attack will pass 3. Ask how you can help Many people who regularly experience panic attacks have developed their own go-to coping methods. For example, I usually prefer to be left alone to do some deep breathing and listen to calming music. So, when offering support, bear in mind that if they are used to having attacks, your loved one will know best when it comes to receiving any help or not. Indeed, don’t be offended if your friend asks you to be quiet or leave them in peace: sometimes those experiencing an anxiety attack just want to be left alone to ride it out. Moreover, the fight-or-flight stress response affects a person’s ability to think and behave logically, so you may even receive a curt response! Please, try not take it personally. “When someone you care about is going through a panic attack or other anxiety issues, there are things you can do to help them.” If the person having a panic attack does want you to leave, take a few steps away and give them the space they need. If possible try to stay nearby to at least keep an eye on them. Let them know that if they do change their mind, you can come right back to them to help out. 4. Encourage them to breathe deeply If your friend is receptive to help, encouraging them to take deep breaths is one of the most useful things you can deal to assist them in dealing with their panic attack. It may even help to calm you down too if you do them together. During a panic attack, breathing becomes shallow which results in a person not getting enough oxygen into their blood. In turn, this increases the anxiety. Slow, controlled breathing is proven to bring the body back to its regular state by bringing oxygen levels back to normal and reducing anxiety. RELATED: Conscious breathing – what is it and how do we benefit from it? Encourage your friend to breathe through their nose deep into their abdomen for four seconds, hold for a second, then breath out through the nose for four seconds, before repeating. They should keep doing this until they start to feel calmer. 5. Encourage them to sit somewhere quietly This tip may be difficult to follow, depending on where you are when someone is having their panic attack. If you’re together outside in a busy area, try to find a quiet, less busy place to sit together – some steps or a green area – while you work through the breathing exercises. If you're close to home or already inside, guide your friend to a quiet, dimly lit room and sit them on a bed or sofa. Playing some calming music (Moby’s Long Ambients is a great example) can help reduce panic attack symptoms. Sit in a quiet place while having a panic attack shutterstock/Waraporn Wattanakul However, in either situation, don’t be surprised (or alarmed) if your friend suddenly dashes off and needs to be by themselves. One of the main symptoms of panic attacks is also the desire to run away, so they might want to be alone while they deal with their heightened anxiety. Also, sometimes just walking or moving might help someone to feel like they're coping with the attack. 6. Help them stay grounded Using grounding techniques can help contain panic attacks after they begin. These techniques take a person out of their head and push them to focus on what’s really happening, instead of the danger their brain perceives. If the person is responsive to help, try: holding their hand encouraging them to stretch or move body parts passing them a textured object to play with suggesting they repeat a helpful phrase, such as “this is just a panic attack. It will pass. It cannot hurt me.” 7. After the attack: respecting their needs Trust me; it’s common to feel completely wiped out after a panic attack. If I’ve had a particularly powerful one, I need to rest for hours afterwards before I start to feel better. Indeed, after an extreme fear response, your body has to slowly return to normal. This may mean your friend just wants to get home alone and rest. “Don't be offended if your friends asks you to be quiet or leave them in peace: sometimes those experiencing an anxiety attack just want to be left alone.” On a few occasions I've been out with friends and, after having a panic attack, simply had to leave what we were doing and go straight home to bed. This can be upsetting for the friend but it is also often upsetting –not to mention embarrassing – for the person having the panic attack. They may feel terrible about ruining any plans you had together, so help them to feel better about the situation be reassuring them that you understand and that it's OK. Realise that sometimes anxiety episodes can be so triggering that a person just has to get up and leave – no matter where or what you are doing together! How not to help someone having a panic attack As we've already established, witnessing someone going through a severe anxiety episode can be upsetting and overwhelming – especially if it's new to you. However, our tips above should explain to you how to help someone having a panic attack. Likewise, there are a couple of things you should definitely try to avoid doing: Do not tell the person to relax or to calm down. Unfortunately, the person going through the panic attack has little control over their symptoms. If they could calm down, they certainly would. Saying this phrase is only likely to agitate them more. Do not encourage them to breathe into a paper bag. This technique is often suggested to try and get a person's breathing back to normal. However, this might not be safe. Instead, encourage the deep breathing method outlined above. When to seek medical help If you haven't experienced a panic attack yourself, it can be hard to know what to do for the best. So, when should you call for additional help? There isn't an easy answer. On more than a few occasions I've ended up in ER and have called out the ambulance service as I thought I was having a heart attack. However, in fact, it was just down to an extreme episode of panic. RELATED: Panic attacks – 12 tips on what to do when anxiety hits hard In the midst of an attack, telephoning the local emergency number may seem like the safest way to help a friend having a panic attack, but this can often exasperate an already stressful situation. If a friend is used to having panic attacks they can hopefully recognize the symptoms. In this case, simply sticking around with your friend or nearby until they feel better might be all you need to do. However, you should call for medical assistance if: symptoms deteriorate and persist for longer than 20-30 minutes shortness of breath doesn’t improve chest pain feels like squeezing and moves to arms/shoulders To make matters even more confusing, even if you are with someone who has had loads of panic attacks, they may still ask you to call an ambulance as they feel the one they're experiencing is different or a heart attack. In any case – as I've often been told by paramedics – you should never feel bad if you've made use of emergency services because you thought someone's life may be in danger. After all, that's what they are there for. Panic attacks can be terrifying to witness, but with time you can learn how to identify when someone is having one and how to help them. ● Chat with other community members about how to help someone with anxiety in our forum. Main image: shutterstock/Antonio Guillem happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our Academy Self-help | Empathy | Kindness | Trust Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our magazine and is a lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage. Find out more.

Panic attacks can be both terrifying and debilitating says Calvin Holbrook, but there are ways of dealing with them. If you’re having regular episodes of intense anxiety, learn how to stop panic attacks fast. Ever since I had my first panic attack, I’ve been learning about what to do when they happen to try and stop them and how best to reduce my chances of further attacks. I've had a few years of experience now and managed to develop techniques to cope with panic attacks when they inadvertently show up (which is exactly how they usually like to show up!). In fact, since making certain lifestyle changes, I've definitely noticed a decrease in the amount I've been having. I've put together 12 science-backed tips to follow for which can help stop or reduce the severity of a panic attack, plus some ideas on how to reduce your chances of having more anxiety issues in the future. How to stop a panic attack: 12 techniques 1. Accept the panic attack Firstly, learn to accept that you're having feelings of anxiety and that it may develop into a full-on panic attack. Don’t try to ignore the feelings or fight them: the more your resist panic, the worse it can get. Tell yourself that you're having feelings of panic, that you’ve been through this before, and that you'll be fine once this intense episode of anxiety stops – which it will. Face your fears: when panic hits, accept it 2. Try not to make a run for it Often during a panic attack you’ll feel the sensation to sprint away from wherever you are and get home as quickly as possible to your safe space. It’s easier said than done, but try to ride out the panic attack and simply move to a quieter place close-by. For example, if you're in a busy shopping street, head off to a side street or green space with less people around. If you run away from a panic attack, it's controlling you, and can even wire your brain to make you fearful of having future attacks when you visit the same location in the future. Don't move: embracing your panic attack can actually help 3. Breathe deeply from your stomach This is one of the most effective ways to stop or reduce panic attack symptoms. If done correctly, deep breathing can alleviate those horrible physical symptoms such as tingling, dry mouth and dizziness. Here's how: breathe in deeply and slowly through your nose and down into your belly for seven seconds; hold for seven more, then release the air slowly through your mouth over another seven seconds, pushing it right out of your tummy. Deep breathing exercises like this help balance out the low level of carbon dioxide in the blood that happens during hyperventilation (causing many of the physical symptoms of the panic attack). Getting this step down is key to stopping a panic attack while you're in the middle of it. Deeply important: breathe right down into your abdomen 4. Practise mindfulness When I had a recent attack, I noticed a very small, green caterpillar crawling between my legs while I was curled over some steps, with my head between my legs. It sounds funny, but focusing on that little fella really helped me out in my moment of need! “Deep breathing is one of the most effective ways to stop or reduce panic attack symptoms.” Indeed, while you're continuing the deep breathing exercises, try to put your vision and other senses into use and focus on what’s going on around you. Maybe look up at the sky and watch the clouds passing, focus on people going by, or just be aware of the smells and sounds where you are. Mindfulness can take your mind off the panic. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged 5. Listen to soothing music Calming music can often help, so make sure you have some on your phone, music player or laptop if you're used to having panic attacks. The musician Moby has lived with panic attacks for many years and created two ambient albums specifically in mind to help create a sense of calm and tranquility. Stream or download them for free to your phone or computer. Listening to this has helped calm or stop my panic attacks many a time. Sound advice: calming music can reduce panic symptoms 6. Repeat! Sometimes you’ll start to feel better quickly during a panic attack but then be hit but another wave of panic later. If that’s the case, keep repeating the exercises above until the attack stops. After some time, you'll return to your regular state. Panic attacks: how to reduce them While panic attacks really suck, the more you have, the easier it becomes to spot the symptoms of one developing. In turn, this makes it easier to be able to deal with it on the spot. Panic and anxiety develop for a variety of reasons – depending on your individual circumstances – but science and studies show that there are specific triggers that can lead to attacks. With that in mind, consider the following ways you could potentially reduce your panic attacks: 7. Stop – or reduce – drinking coffee... Drinking coffee is like throwing petrol on your anxiety and watching it go up in flames. Numerous studies back this up. Eliminate or cut down the amount you consume: don’t forget that caffeine is also found in tea, caffeinated soft drinks and chocolate, etc, so watch those, too. RELATED: How to help someone having a panic attack Furthermore, the American Psychiatric Association also recognizes caffeine intoxication as a diagnosable condition, along with caffeine-induced anxiety and sleep disorder. Giving up can be hard; reducing your intake gradually can help the caffeine fiends among you. Personally, I limit myself to one cup a day, two if I'm feeling naughty (or sleepy). Consider swapping for a calming chamomile which can reduce anxiety and also fight depression. Cut coffee: it's a key cause of panic 8. …and also alcohol Science shows there’s also a strong link between alcohol and anxiety. Abuse of alcohol can also lead to an anxiety disorder or attack. Sometime it’s a vicious circle that needs to be tackled: if you’re dealing with your anxiety by numbing it with alcohol, that isn’t going to help in the long-run. For me, if I drank a lot in one evening, I'd often have a panic attack the next morning, especially if I hadn't eaten much. Which leads us nicely to... You booze, you lose: cutting alcohol can stop panic attacks 9. Low levels of blood sugar The body releases the hormone adrenaline when blood-sugar levels fall lower than normal. This helps raise blood sugar levels back up, but can also induce the effects of anxiety. That’s why it’s important to keep blood sugar levels stable. Eat regular meals and keep healthy snacks at hand, such as fruit and raw nuts, to munch between meals. A diet which is based around good mood foods that give a sustained release of energy into the bloodstream, such as fish, brown rice and wholemeal bread, can also help. “Drinking coffee is like throwing petrol on your anxiety and watching it go up in flames. Stop consuming it to help stop panic attacks.” 10. Stay away from recreational drugs Of course, drugs such as cocaine or speed (amphetamines) can produce a euphoric high in the short-term, but when the come down hits or you've taken too much, panic attacks can come thick and fast. Needless to say, studies have shown that recreational drugs, especially amphetamines, can lead to panic attacks and other anxiety disorders. If you take any kind of recreational drugs, know the risks. Panic party: if you add drugs into the mix, anxiety could follow 11) Reduce your stress levels Stress and worry is all too commonplace in the modern world, but there are things we can do to tackle this. If you’re ruminating – thinking too much about the past or the future – worried, or frazzled from your job, take steps to relax. Firstly, some kind of exercise is essential and the benefits of it regarding anxiety and depression are proven. According to some studies, regular exercise can work as well as medication to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Try to fit some swimming, running or yoga into your routine and you should notice the benefits. Great lengths: swimming can lower stress and anxiety 12) Speak with your GP Finally, coping with panic attacks isn't always easy and it's important you go to your GP/doctor and let them know about the issues you're facing. First of all, they should be able to confirm that your physical symptoms are anxiety-based and nothing more serious (this can help put your mind to rest, especially if you're worried that you have a heart problem, for example). Furthermore, as well as improving your lifestyle, your GP can also help you deal with panic attacks by possibly prescribing anti-anxiety medication to keep you calm, and by referring you for talking therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). A mixture of all three is a powerful way of tackling anxiety and stopping panic attacks head on. ● Are you living with panic attacks or anxiety? What methods help you to deal with it best? Share your thoughts with the happiness.com community below or in our forum... Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our magazine and is a lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage. Find out more.

To celebrate World Creativity and Innovation Day, Calvin Holbrook chatted with illustrator Ava Marie Puckett – AKA Ava Marie Doodles – about her kick-ass illustrations and products that are designed to lift your spirits! Ava Marie Puckett – otherwise known as Ava Marie Doodles – is the brains behind Aviatepress, a beautiful illustration and design brand that sells handmade prints, cards and pins and the like with a feel-good and well-being twist. In her own words, Ava creates “positive, relatable doodles that garner human connection.” Indeed, her work is bright, witty and is full of messages, often touching on themes such as gratitude, happiness and kindness. In fact, Ava's positive, witty and uplifting doodles promoting self-care have become a huge hit across the globe – she currently boasts 50K followers on Instagram where she regularly posts her new designs and thoughts. We had a quick chat with Ava about her artwork and approach to mental health to celebrate World Creativity and Innovation Day. Calvin: Ava! So nice to chat You’ve based in Nashville, Tennessee. How did the recent tornado tragedy there affect you and how have the community responded? Ava: “Luckily, I was not physically affected, but some of my day-to-day life has been affected and I’ve definitely felt an emotional impact. It’s hard to see the devastation on homes and businesses that I love, just a few miles away from my own home. My studio space was slightly damaged, with power out for a couple weeks and some exterior damage from wind.” “I've definitely felt the community pull together – we are all trying to help in some way, whether that’s through volunteering, donations, or financial contributions. It’s amazing to see how much everyone was willing to give.” Ava Puckett in her studio And how are you coping with your mental health during the lockdown. Is it affecting your creativity? “I'm trying to take it one day at a time and give myself some grace as I adjust to the current climate. It's tricky, though – some things that I normally do on a daily basis to keep my mental health in check have fallen behind. I think we are all just trying to cope and do the best we can.” “As far as my creativity – it's gone up and down, just like my mood! Sometimes I find a bit of inspiration and run with it, but other times I feel sad and lonely – unmotivated to do anything at all. I did have a flash of inspiration this morning, though, which is a good way to start the week!” You’re very candid about your mental health through your blog and artwork: how does being open about these issues help you to deal with them? “It’s definitely become a part of my self-care routine. In fact, I think of it as a journal and artistic outlet. Journaling and doodling are tools that I’ve found to be very helpful in connecting the dots between feelings, experiences, and struggles I’ve had. And to be able to connect with others on what I’m experiencing, or help others feel less alone, is a very powerful thing.” I make collages and it really helps me to get into a state of ‘flow’. Does that happen with you? How does creativity help you deal with your own anxiety and/or depression? “I do. It’s amazing when you can get in that flow state, but it definitely requires a lot of work before I can get there. I’m so easily distracted by podcasts, social media, and my to-do list that I feel like I don’t get to the flow state as much as I’d like. It’s always something I’m working on.” “I’d say my personal illustration work makes me feel creative and less anxious, but since I do it for work as well, I sometimes use other creative or physical outlets to get to the flow state – like music, running, and yoga.” I’ve been living with panic attacks and anxiety for some time. What's your coping mechanism for attacks? “Oh man, panic attacks are the worst! I’ve had two or three in my life, which were both brought on my extreme situational stress. The last time I had one, I was much more prepared and in a safe place. I was able to just sit on my floor, breathe through it, and accept that it was happening. “I closed my eyes and just let my body freak out for a bit – I even made some noises like I was going into labor or something, which my therapist said was actually a healthy way to get through it!” How long have you been going to therapy and how has it changed your life? “I think I’ve been going for two-and-a-half years now and it’s been great! I’ve seen such a difference in my day-to-day life and stress levels. I’ve worked through a lot of family and personal issues I didn’t even realize were causing me anxiety: issues with food and body image, for example.” “Journaling and doodling are tools that I’ve found to be very helpful in connecting the dots between feelings, experiences, and struggles I’ve had.” “Therapy has given me validation, ways to identify negative self-talk, and an outlet to work through problems that I had been ignoring. I’ve also gotten a lot better about confrontation and standing up for myself.” What other things do you do for your self-care? “Journal, yoga, baths, walks, treats from Jeni’s, taking care of my plants, and meditation.” What are your best-selling items? “I’d say my wedding-related cards do really well, as well as my Butts Print and my Living and Learning Print.” What feedback have you had from others about how your work has helped them? “I’ve received a lot of feedback from people saying my illustrations have made them feel more understood and less alone, which is amazing. It’s made me feel the same way when I hear from others that they can relate to my work and what I’m going through.” And finally, who are your mental health heroes? Who inspires you? “My sister-in-law, who is a therapist and connected me with my therapist. Brené Brown, and other illustrators like Stacie Swift and Haley Weaver.” ● If you love Ava's designs, be sure to follow her Instagram for a daily dose of self-care doodles! Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our magazine and is a lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage. He also makes gay artwork. Find out more.

Die weltweite Verbreitung des Coronavirus wirkt sich negativ auf unser Stress- und Angstniveau aus. Zum "Stress Awareness Month" April, zeigt dir Dee Marques 11 wissenschaftlich fundierte Möglichkeiten, wie du Stress reduzieren kannst. Stress ist eine der größten gesundheitlichen Herausforderungen der heutigen Zeit. Während eine geringe Menge von positivem Stress gut für uns sein kann, besteht die Gefahr, dass anhaltender chronischer Stress ernsthaften Gesundheitsproblemen führen oder diese verschlimmern kann. Da der Coronavirus derzeit auch die Gesundheit und das Wohlbefinden der Welt testet, merken viele von uns ein erhöhtes Stress- und Angstniveau. Seit 1992 ist der April in den USA der Monat des Stressbewusstseins. In diesem Jahr ist klar, dass die Notwendigkeit an einem Bewusstsein über Stress so groß wie nie zuvor ist. In Amerika geben mehr als 55 Prozent der Menschen an, sich tagsüber gestresst zu fühlen - eine Zahl, die weit über dem globalen Durchschnitt liegt (35 Prozent). In Deutschland fühlen sich sechs von zehn Menschen beruflich oder privat gelegentlich gestresst, 23 Prozent sogar häufig. In der Tat ist Stress nicht „nur Stress“, da er sowohl unsere geistige als auch unsere körperliche Gesundheit beeinflusst (siehe: Burnout). Studien zeigen einen engen Zusammenhang zwischen Stress und psychischen Erkrankungen wie Depressionen und Angstzuständen. Andere Nebenwirkungen von nicht verarbeiteten Stress sind Wut, geringes Selbstwertgefühl, Einsamkeit und ein schlechteres Gedächtnis. In Bezug auf die möglichen Auswirkungen auf den Körper kann Stress alles verursachen: Von Kopfschmerzen über Verdauungsstörungen von Schlaflosigkeit, Haut- und Haarprobleme bis hin zu erhöhten Chancen, Herzerkrankungen zu entwickeln. 11 Möglichkeiten, sich schnell stressfrei zu fühlen Da Stress so weit verbreitet scheint, fragst du dich vielleicht, ob es überhaupt möglich ist, stressfrei zu werden? Komplett stressfrei zu sein, ist ziemlich schwer zu erreichen Aber es gibt definitiv Dinge, die du tun kannst, um deinen Stress abzubauen. Die wichtigsten erfordern weder viel Zeit noch Geld. Hier sind 11 Ideen, mit denen du versuchen kannst, Stress abzubauen und die Vorteile schnell zu spüren. 1. Die Kraft der Zimmerpflanzen Einer der ersten Schritte, die du in Angriff nehmen kannst, ist die Schaffung einer stressfreien Umgebung. Das ist nicht immer in großem Maßstab möglich, aber es gibt kleine Dinge, die du in deinem Zuhause und in deinem persönlichen Arbeitsbereich tun kannst. Zimmerpflanzen, so bescheiden sie auch erscheinen mögen, sind in letzter Zeit aus gutem Grund immer beliebter geworden - sie können deine Fähigkeit, mit Stress umzugehen, enorm steigern. In einer japanischen Studie wurden die Gefühle, die durch das Umpflanzen einer Pflanze entstehen, mit denen am Computer verglichen. Das Ergebnis zeigte, dass die Gruppe, die an einem Computer arbeitete, einen höheren Blutdruck hatte, während sich diejenigen, die mit Pflanzen interagierten, ruhig und beruhigt fühlten. In der Tat kann das Umsorgen von Zimmerpflanzen zu deiner häuslichen Umgebung einen großen Unterschied machen. Pflanzen können den Blutdruck senken und Stress reduzieren Shutterstock / Amilao 2. Atemtechniken Unser Körper reagiert auf Stress mit einem sogenannten Overdrive. Studien bestätigen einen Zusammenhang zwischen langsamer kontrollierter Atmung und dem Nervensystem: Tiefes Atmen erinnert das Gehirn daran, dass es Zeit ist, sich zu beruhigen. Das Gehirn sendet daraufhin dieselbe Botschaft an den Körper, um die Herzfrequenz zu stabilisieren und Verspannungen in den Muskeln zu lösen. Wenn du mit den Vorteilen einer kontrollierten Atmung nicht vertraut bist, kannst du mit deine Angstzustände mit verschiedenenTechniken kontrollieren und dich stressfrei fühlen. Einige Techniken stellen wir in diesem Artikel über mehr Achtsamkeit im Alltag vor. 3. Körperliche Aktivität Bewegung verursacht einen Anstieg der Endorphine, einer Form von Glückshormonen. Um einen stressfreien Zustand zu erreichen, ist regelmäßige Bewegung und Sport wichtig. Die Art und Häufigkeit des Trainings hängt von dir persönlich und deinem allgemeinen Gesundheitszustand ab. Als Richtlinie ergab eine medizinische Studie aus Finnland, dass moderates Aerobic-Training am besten für einen höheren Endorphinspiegel geeignet ist. Zu den Formen mäßig anstrengender Übungen zählen Radfahren, flottes Gehen, Tanzen und Wassergymnastik. Als Auswirkung von COVID-19 können wir das meiste davon derzeit nicht tun. Aber auch in der eigenen Wohnung, im Haus oder Garten gibt es Möglichkeiten der Bewegung, um die Stimmung und geistige Gesundheit positiv zu beeinflussen. 4. Körperliche Entspannung Um schnell stressfrei zu werden, ist es besonders effektiv, zu den oben genanten Punkten eine Mischung aus stimmungshebenden Übungen und beruhigenden Entspannungstechniken hinzuzufügen. Entspannungstechniken wie Tai Chi, Meditation, Yoga oder Achtsamkeit werden seit Jahrhunderten praktiziert. Das bewusste Entspannen deines Körpers oder Teilen davon, kann deine Herzfrequenz verlangsamen und den Stresshormonspiegel senken. Es stärkt außerdem das Vertrauen in dich selbst, mit Problemen umzugehen. Einige Techniken, die du ausprobieren kannst, sind progressive Muskelentspannung, Massagetherapie, Qi Gong und Ashtanga Yoga. 5. Experimentiere mit ätherischen Ölen Aromatherapie gibt es schon seit Tausenden von Jahren. Schon im alten Ägypten waren sich die Menschen der Kraft aromatischer Kräuter und ihrer Rolle für das Wohlbefinden bewusst. Die Organe, die für unseren Geruchssinn verantwortlich sind, sind direkt mit den Teilen des Gehirns verbunden, die mit Emotionen verknpüpft sind. Daher kann die Exposition gegenüber bestimmten Gerüchen die Stimmung positiv beeinflussen und zur Verringerung von Angstzuständen beitragen. Aromatherapie: Schnüffeln, um Stress abzubauen Shutterstock / Madeleine Steinbach 6. Stell dir eine stressfreie Playlist zusammen Wir beginnen erst zu verstehen, welchen starken Einfluss Musik hat und inwieweit sie Stress abbaut. Wenn, wie der Dramatiker William Congreve aus dem 17. Jahrhundert sagte, „Musik Reize hat, um ein wildes Tier zu beruhigen“, kann sie uns doch sicher auch helfen, einen stressfreien Zustand zu erreichen, oder nicht? Eine Studie verglich das Stressniveau bei chirurgischen Patienten, die vor einer Operation Musik hörten mit dem von Patienten ohne musikalische Vorbereitung. Das Ergebnis war, dass diejenigen, die Musik hörten, einen niedrigeren Blutdruck hatten und sich weniger ängstlich fühlten. Einige Klänge und Rhythmen können effektiver sein als andere. 7. Nichts tun Sich von Aufgaben oder Verantwortlichkeiten überfordert zu fühlen, ist eine der häufigsten Ursachen für Stress. Manchmal ist die beste Antwort, alles auf Eis zu legen und nichts weiter zu tun, als auf sich selbst aufzupassen: etwas, das viele von uns während der COVID-19-Pandemie tun. Wenn es keine Option ist, nichts zu tun, solltest du weniger tun oder Dinge langsam und achtsam tun. Achtsamkeit gibt dir die Möglichkeit, langsamer zu werden, dich zu konzentrieren und dich deiner Reaktionen bewusster zu werden. Achtsamkeit wurde auch mit einer geringeren Aktivität in der Amygdala in Verbindung gebracht, dem Teil des Gehirns, der Angst- und Stressreaktionen auslöst. 8. Visualisierungstechniken Visualisierungstechniken können beruhigend wirken, wenn der Stress zu groß wird. Tauch in eine Szene ein, die dich glücklich und entspannt macht, und rufe dir jeden sensorischen Aspekt der Szene ins Gedächtnis, von den Gerüchen über die Sehenswürdigkeiten bis hin zu den Geräuschen. Indem du dich auf das sensorische Erlebnis als Ganzes konzentrieren, lenk deine Aufmerksamkeit von Stressquellen weg. Sobald dies geschieht, signalisiert dein Gehirn deinem Körper auch, sich zu entspannen. Forscher haben herausgefunden, dass Visualisierung (auch bezeichnet als "geführte Bilder") die Stimmung verbessern und depressive Symptome bei Multiple-Sklerose-Patienten verbessern kann, so dass sie sicherlich auch im Alltag einen positiven Effekt haben können. 9. Teile deine Sorgen Geteilte Sorgen sind halbe Sorgen. Zögere nicht, mit jemandem in deiner Nähe zu sprechen, wenn Stress überhand nimmt. Das Teilen deiner Sorgen kann ein Gefühl der Erleichterung hervorrufen. Wissenschaftliche Erkenntnisse unterstützen diese Annahme. So ergab eine Studie, dass die Offenlegung von Sorgen- und Angstgefühlen gegenüber sympathischen Personen das Stresshormon Cortisol reduziert. Manchmal ist es einfach, die Sorgen mit einer fremden Person zu besprechen. Die Gesprächstherapie ist wirksam beim Stressabbau, sei es persönlich oder telefonisch. Sprechen ist ein Weg, um Stress zu reduzieren. Shutterstock / Monkey Business Images 10. B-Vitamine zur Unterstützung gegen Stress Wusstest du, dass bestimmte Vitaminmängel zu einem erhöhten Stressgefühl führen können? Eine stressfreie Ernährung sollte besonders reich an Vitamin-B-Komplexen sein. Einige Forscher teilen die Annahme, dass diese Vitamine Homocystein senken können. Homocystein ist eine Aminosäure, die in Stresssituationen ansteigt. Es ist daher eine gute Idee, deinen Speiseplan zu überarbeiten, um sicherzustellen, dass er gute Mengen an Vitamin B-reichen Lebensmitteln wie Vollkornprodukten, Hülsenfrüchten, dunklem Blattgemüse, Samen und Nüssen enthält. Wenn du dies zur Gewohnheit machst, kannst du deine Stimmung verbessern und die durch Stress verursachte geistige Müdigkeit verringern. VERWANDTES THEMA: Gute Laune Lebensmittel 11. Ehre dein wahres Selbst Manchmal ist Stress ein Ergebnis interner Konflikte. Es gibt Situationen, in denen wir uns entscheiden müssen: Wollen wir das tun, was wir in unseren Herzen als richtig empfinden? Oder tun wir etwas, um anderen zu gefallen und stellen unsere Grundwerte hinten an? Wir alle haben bestimmte Werte, die unser Leben bestimmen. Nimm dir etwas Zeit, um dich daran zu erinnern, welche für dich am wichtigsten sind. Einer der Schritte, um stressfrei zu sein, besteht darin, Spannungen oder Diskrepanzen zwischen deiner privaten Person und deiner öffentlichen Person zu beseitigen. Diese Ausnahmezeit ist deine Gelegenheit, genau das zu tun und sich besser zu fühlen. ● Fazit Lass in diesen Zeiten nicht zu, dass Stress und steigende Angstzustände dein Glück beeinträchtigen. Obwohl wir alle stressige Situationen erleben, gibt es bis keinen Grund, uns davon überwältigen zu lassen. Wir verfügen über Werkzeuge, um unser inneres Selbst zu stärken und schnell stressfrei zu werden. Lasst sie uns anwenden! Warum also nicht den Stress Awareness Month nutzen und das Bewusstsein für Stress in einen stressfreien Alltag nutzen? Hauptbild: Shutterstock / Baranq Geschrieben von Dee Marques Dee hat einen sozialwissenschaftlichen Abschluss, den sie mit großem Interesse an Sprachen, Kommunikation und Strategien verknüpft. Sie liebt es, zu trainieren, draußen in der Natur zu sein und warme und sonnige Orte zu entdecken, an denen sie dem Winter entkommen kann.