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Energy vampires drain your emotional reserves and disrupt your mental peace. Sonia Vadlamani explains how to identify these emotionally taxing individuals and offers practical ways to protect your energy. Sometimes, spending time with certain people can leave you feeling completely exhausted – like you’ve just run a marathon. That heavy, worn-out feeling you carry after meeting someone may not be just your imagination. Chances are, you encountered an energy vampire. What is an energy vampire? Energy vampires are people who suck the energy from you – in one-on-one conversation or in social situations – leaving you emotionally depleted. While this isn’t always intentional, they tend to exploit your inclination to listen and care, taking far more from you than they can give in return. Recognizing emotional vampires and protecting yourself from their influence is essential to maintaining emotional and mental well-being. Energy suckers: energy vampires leave you drained How can you tell if someone is an emotional vampire? Identifying an energy vampire often starts with a gut feeling. When trying to recognize one, pay close attention to how you feel during and after interacting with them. Look for the subtle cues – if a simple conversation leaves you emotionally exhausted or you find yourself strategically avoiding someone so you can preserve your energy, those are both signs of an energy vampire. “Energy vampires are people who suck the energy from you – in one-on-one conversation or in social situations – leaving you emotionally depleted” Energy vampires can be deceptively friendly and charming, and you may not be able to pinpoint why interactions with them seem to deplete you emotionally. You may find yourself dreading a chance encounter or dodging events just to avoid them, and the inexplicable fear of encountering them is your emotional radar warning you to steer clear of their toxic influence. Signs you are being affected by an energy vampire Identifying an emotional energy drainer can be tricky at first, but being aware of a shift in your feelings and patterns can help. Some warning signs can include: Feeling anxious and inexplicable dread over the prospect of meeting someone Abrupt mood fluctuations and sudden irritability Avoiding activities and hobbies that you typically enjoy Making incessant excuses to get out of social situations and declining invitations frequently Feeling nervous or walking on eggshells while around them How do I protect myself from energy vampires? Identifying the emotional vampires around you is the first step toward shielding yourself from them. Here are a few ways to safeguard your emotional reserves: 1. Learn to say NO Saying “no” isn’t rude or alienating – it’s often a form of radical self-care. In fact, we often overestimate the ramifications of declining an invite, according to a 2023 report published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. According to Dr. Julian Givi, co-author of the study and a consumer behavior expert: “Saying no to invitations is an important, but challenging, aspect of people’s social lives. People are busy, and social commitments can be burdensome – especially when they involve those who are draining to be around. “Our research demonstrates that people overestimate the negative consequences of declining invitations – such as upsetting or angering the inviter – suggesting that we should not stress as much as we do about telling others no, including when invitations stem from energy vampires.” So, protecting your energy is a valid reason to promptly decline invitations that don’t align with your energy, even if it involves people you care about. 2. Set firm boundaries Another effective way to avoid energy-draining vampires is to limit your interactions with them – or to avoid engaging them altogether. Boundaries are a crucial aspect of self-compassion, as suggested by a 2020 study published in Journal of Psychological Research. Set clear, uncompromising boundaries with those who emotionally deplete you, and communicate them assertively so you can avoid resentment and bitterness later. Set boundaries: just say no to emotional vampires 3. Stay grounded in your values Being authentic and staying true to your values can be an effective shield against energy vampires, since your strong sense of self and clear boundaries make you less susceptible to emotional manipulation. Dr. James Huysman, mental health expert and founder of Star Network Foundation, told us: “[Our] values and finding our happiness through our ‘recovery to find our authentic selves’ are a garlic and crucifix for the energy vampire.” 4. Plan for downtime Sometimes, it doesn't seem possible to entirely avoid the presence of an energy vampire – maybe they’re a coworker, a family member, or part of your extended social circle. The key here is to prepare yourself for the encounter and have a recovery plan ready. Plan something rejuvenating and restorative for later – it could be as simple as a long bath, connecting with a supportive friend, or cuddling with your pet while reading a book. “If a simple conversation leaves you emotionally exhausted or you find yourself strategically avoiding someone so you can preserve your energy, those are all signs of an energy vampire.” Knowing that you’re equipped with an ‘emotional reset’ – or a plan to recharge subsequently after an unavoidable engagement with an energy vampire – will help you avoid the anxiety associated with it. Are energy vampires narcissists? Energy vampires often have narcissistic traits, given that narcissists rely on others’ emotional energy to reinforce their sense of identity. Much like emotional vampires, narcissists tend to feed off the energy and emotions of others to bolster their fragile self-worth. Blame shifting, using manipulation to guilt or gaslight, constant demands for attention, and excessive negativity are some of the key characteristics that narcissists share with energy vampires. Due to their shared traits, narcissists and emotional vampires are drawn to ‘empaths’ – or individuals with a heightened ability to feel and absorb others’ emotions – making them easy targets. Am I an emotional vampire? If you find yourself wondering whether you might be emotionally exhausting to others, do know that it takes courage and self-awareness to even get there – so you’re already on the right path. Observing your communication patterns is a good starting point: do you find yourself dominating most conversations or frequently steering the conversation towards yourself? If those around you have implied that they feel used or overwhelmed after interacting with you, it’s likely that you’ve been an energy vampire. Also, reflect on how often you’re genuinely interested in others in your life – do you engage with things they discuss and follow up later, or do you only seek emotional support for yourself? If the answer to most of these queries is yes, then you might be an emotional vampire – perhaps without even realizing it. MORE LIKE THIS: When to End a Friendship and How to Do it With Kindness Positive Relational Energy: the Secret Sauce of Uplifting Human Connections How to Get Over a Friendship Breakup: 7 Steps It also helps to assess how you respond to the boundaries set by others. Ask yourself how you feel when someone is busy or unavailable. Do you respect their space, or do you feel upset or abandoned? Truthful answers to these questions can offer you valuable insight into whether you’re emotionally taxing for those around you. How to stop being an energy vampire The good news is that asking this question itself is progress, given that most energy vampires rarely recognize – or care about – the impact of their emotional draining tendency. Here are some ways to stop exhausting others emotionally: Practice mindful listening Listen actively, ask relevant questions, and remember to follow up later. This shows that you truly care. Give, don’t just receive Friendships and relationships require active reciprocity. Offer support readily when others need it. Celebrate their wins and stand by them during difficult times. Devise your own coping strategies Indeed, it’s great to feel heard and supported. However, developing emotional resilience can help you overcome challenges on your own, reducing the need for you to rely on others to resolve your issues. Respect boundaries Honoring the personal boundaries set by others is essential for healthy relationships. Believe people when they say they’re busy. Give people space when they ask for it without guilt or resentment. Takeaway: Emotional vampires All interactions are, in essence, an exchange of energy. It’s important to stay mindful and reflect on which interactions uplift you and which ones leave you emotionally drained. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals with a bright outlook is a foolproof way to protect your energy and keep energy vampires at bay. ● Images: shutterstock/Mortotion Films, shutterstock/Krakenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Emotional intelligence | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Feeling overwhelmed by modern life? Choosing to live more simply could be a good move to improve your happiness. Calvin Holbrook explores how to live a simple life and digs into the science behind the benefits it can bring, such as finding your purpose and increased focus. Since hitting my 40s, the idea of living simply appeals to me more than ever. While residing in large cities has provided plenty of opportunities for entertainment and excitement, I feel increasingly overwhelmed and anxious by excess noise, over-stimulation, distractions, and ever-increasing crowds. As a result, I find myself seeking out a quieter, more simplistic way of life – being closer to nature in a peaceful setting. While some of you may be thinking to do the same, living a simple life doesn’t have to mean shacking up alone in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere (although that actually sounds quite appealing). In fact, there are many practical and not-so-drastic ways of living simply – and the benefits of doing so are proven by science. Living simply can allow for more family quality time So-called 'simple living' or ‘voluntary simplicity' is a recognized lifestyle steeped in history; one that minimizes consumption and the pursuit of wealth and material goods. Individuals choose voluntary simplicity in order to attain a more modest and meaningful life. Many religious groups, including the monastic orders from the Middle Ages to the modern-day Amish and Quakers include simple living as an essential element of teachings. More recently, the modern simplicity movement arose from the counterculture movement in the 1960s and 1970s. Then, in 1981, this movement gained a new moniker with the release of Duane Elgin’s book Voluntary Simplicity. In it, he explained the virtues of “a way of life that is outwardly simple, inwardly rich.” During the 1990s, the concept of minimalism, which includes elements of simple living, also became popular. How Can I Live a Simple Life? While minimalism is mainly focused on reducing or giving up possessions, living a simple life includes other elements. Choosing simplification creates a life filled with meaning; a life lived on your own terms. It helps create the time and space to pursue your true interests and passions. Living simply flies in the face of the common values of the Western world. Living a simple life means stripping away the non-essential stuff to focus your time and energy on the things that matter the most to you. Is it OK to Just Live a Simple Life? If you're here reading this then you must already be curious about how to live a simple life! Conditioning by Western society often makes us believe success as being connected to wealth, possessions and achievements: all things that take effort. By the time we become adults, it can be hard to let that perception go which is one reason why you may feel hesitant about living a simple life instead. A lot of this fear is connected to the ego. “Living a simple life doesn’t just mean giving up your possessions. Choosing simplification creates a life filled with meaning, a life lived on your own terms.” By choosing to live a simple life, we reduce the nonessentials in our lives and often reduce stress and anxiety as well. We also make more intentional choices about our diet, exercise, and overall well-being. Simplicity allows us to prioritize self-care and mindfulness, which are essential for a healthy, balanced life. Living a Simple Life: 6 Key Benefits Moving to the countryside or living by the sea is a dream for myself and many others. And while the pandemic and improved technology have led to more opportunities for remote working, many of us can't simply take the leap and uproot due to family commitments. But – regardless of where you're living – there are many practical steps you can take to simplify your life and feeling the benefits. Some simple practical things you can to do start living a more simple life include: reducing possessions (have a clear out and donate) being mindful of future new purchases limiting your time on social media and smartphones switching off notifications learning to say no – stop attending events you’re indifferent about eliminating multitasking establish a daily routine appreciating nature more spend time alone with yourself Practice mindful eating Enjoy the art of simply doing nothing Doing some or all of these things can bring you great benefits and happiness. So, let’s take a more detailed look at six key benefits of how to live a simple life, backed up by science. 1. Simplify your life to learn more about yourself When you’re not distracting yourself with social media, binging Netflix, shopping for another gadget, or filling your diary with must-do events, you’re giving yourself the time and mental space to be grateful for what you already have – as well as creating the opportunity to reflect and learn more about yourself. In fact, living simply can help us find meaning and grow spiritually, as it shifts the focus away from material possessions and helps us look inwardly. It helps to create more silence – and even solitude – prime factors for spiritual reflection. RELATED: The Power of Silence: 10 Benefits of Cultivating Peace and Quiet Of course, sometimes reflecting on our lives and who we are can be as uncomfortable as it is rewarding, but ultimately it helps to focus on what gives our life purpose and meaning, and what we want to do with the rest of our lives. In turn, living a meaningful life has been to shown to increase happiness levels. 2. A simpler lifestyle can improve relationships In his essay Voluntary Simplicity: Characterization, Select Psychological Implications, and Societal Consequences, Amitai Etzioli argues that when we stop focusing our time on acquiring material possessions, we’re more likely to focus on relationships. Likewise, spending excessive time on social media or being occupied all the time can mean other relationships suffer. So, if we remove or reduce these distractors we free up more time to spend with friends and family and build meaningful connections – one of the 10 keys to happiness. Modest living focuses you on what really matters in life Additionally, developing a more simple way of life may mean editing your friendship group. Perhaps you have lots of different friends that you spend time doing different actives with, for example, the 'party' friend, the 'shopping' friend, the 'gym buddy'. By simplifying your life and doing less, it could mean shifting your focus to having fewer, higher-quality friendships and closer relationships. The interaction between you may also be more sincere, as you will be free of the need to impress. RELATED: Why Friendship Goals Matter and How to Achieve Them How to Get Over a Friendship Breakup: 7 Steps When to End a Friendship and How to Do it With Kindness In turn, there are health benefits attached to simplifying your friendships. Various studies have found that developing strong, solid friendships can reduce your illness risk – from being less likely to get a common cold to having a lower risk of developing obesity or heart disease. A 2017 Harvard study also found that keeping close friends could promote brain health as we grow older. 3. Simple living boosts your bank balance In many developed countries, the disparity between what we buy and what we need leads to overconsumption. This both drains the Earth’s resources and accelerates climate change. Voluntary simplicity is a lifestyle choice that minimizes consumption and the pursuit of wealth and material goods. Simplifying your life by reducing consumption means you will spend – and potentially owe – less. The benefits of financial independence can include less stress and worry, and consequently better sleep. Indeed, according to a UK study from 2018, money worries are a huge issue, affecting 40 per cent of the population. To limit your consumption, firstly, take time to look at your outgoings and consider what you need to spend your cash on. Those daily takeaway coffees? Upgrades to the latest iPhone or Samsung? Netflix and apps subscriptions? That gym membership you hardly ever use? ““Living simply can help us find meaning and grow spiritually, as it shifts the focus away from material possessions and helps us to look inwardly.” There are so many chances to minimize spending, so cancel what you don’t need and change your habits. Additionally, you may be being charged for subscriptions for things you’ve totally forgotten about, so take some step to go through your bank statements and check what's going out every month. Secondly, aim to eliminate any existing debt you have and simply live within your means. Stop using credit cards and, instead, develop a monthly budget. Thirdly, if you’ve decided to simplify your belongings, make yourself some extra money by selling unwanted stuff on eBay, or simply donating things to charity. What's more, if you decide to simplify your social life to focus on things such as reconnecting with nature, walking, meditation, etc, this will also benefit your bank balance – because most of these things are free. 4. Living simply is great for your health Living a simplistic lifestyle can also be beneficial to your physical and mental health. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found a link between materialism and poor physical health. The team, from Knox College, Illinois, also found an even stronger link between materialism and engagement in risky behaviors that could damage physical health, such as drinking alcohol, smoking and drug use. So, it follows that the reverse – having a non-materialistic attitude – could be positive for health. RELATED: Being Teetotal: 9 Benefits of Living Alcohol-Free This theory was backed up in an unpublished survey from the University of the Sciences in Pennsylvania. It found that 90 per cent of people who identified as coming from the simple living movement reported improved physical health after choosing to make a change to earn less money. Almost as many respondents also claimed that their mental health also improved. Simple living means less stress and increased rest The reasons for this could be due to the fact that developing a more simplistic lifestyle often means less stress and increased rest. This benefits could come from spending more time with friends/family, getting more physical activity, and changing jobs to find something more fulfilling and less money-orientated. MORE LIKE THIS: Gazing at the Stars: Replacing Worries With Wonder Living on a Houseboat Wild Swimming: Health Benefits of Open Water Additionally, voluntary simplifiers often make a move away from big urban hubs to the countryside or seaside, which also has potential health benefits. A 2012 study from the University of Exeter showed that coastal populations in the UK are healthier than those inland, believed to be party due to the stress relief of living by the sea and greater opportunities for physical activity. The coast also offers cleaner, healthier air, which helps to promote better sleep (also essential for good mental health). 5. Simplistic living means increased focus Reducing possessions and commitments correlates to a reduction in distractions and therefore less physical – and mental – clutter. As you simplify your life and remove distractions, you create space to breathe and focus more carefully on what remains. In fact, the physical reduction of clutter in your home has been proven to boost concentration. Researchers at the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute studied the effects of clutter and published the results in the Journal of Neuroscience. They concluded that clearing clutter from your home and work environments increased the ability to focus and process information effectively. Their research also showed that an uncluttered space led to people feeling less irritable, more productive and less distracted. “How to live a simple life? It means stripping away the non-essential stuff to focus your time and energy on the things that matter the most to you.” Simplifying your life by focusing on one task at a time, rather than multitasking, can also boost concentration. Multitasking used to be championed as effective, but Psychology Today reports that in reality it can decrease productivity levels by up to 40 per cent. Many of us are constantly switched on to multiple technologies: on average, we check our mobile phones every 12 minutes, causing further distractions and interruptions which affect our ability to concentrate. Choose to simplify life and learn how to avoid distractions by limiting these interruptions: remove or reduce social media usage and switch off annoying pop-up notifications. 6. Living a simple life helps the environment While the benefits of living simply described here are clear for the individual, the wider environment also benefits. It’s been previously suggested that if everyone on Earth consumed as much as the average US citizen, four Earths would be needed to sustain the population. So, consuming less and having fewer possessions decreases the amount of waste a person produces. In fact, there are many practical ways you can change you habits to live more simply and help the environment. Buying less clothes is a great place to start. Thanks to fast fashion, the textile industry is now one of the biggest environmental polluters and consumes energy throughout the supply chain. Donate old clothing to decrease consumption Indeed, humans consume 400 per cent more clothes than they did just two decades ago. About 80 billion pieces of clothing are consumed annually, and the US alone produces 11 million tons of textile waste each year. So, instead of buying cheap fashions, seek out more durable outfits that will last, and if they no longer fit, place unwanted clothes in a material recycling bin or donate – never just throw them away. As consumers we rarely consider the context and impact when buying products, for example, considering the workers and factories that made a product, the journey to the store a product made, how the packaging was produced, etc. Living a simple life means becoming more mindful of what you consume and thinking more about a product’s journey and environmental impact, therefore making more considered purchases. The Takeaway: How to Live a Simple Life According to the Chinese philosopher Confucius, “Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated.” I would have to agree. For me, it's clear these science-backed benefits of living a simpler life are enormous and can only add to our increased happiness. Simple living and sustainable living go hand-in-hand, and having a healthier environment will also lead to better health for generations to come. So, rather than buying more and more stuff, consider spending more of your time and money on experiences: they leave only memories and nothing in the trash can. ● Images: shutterstock/wavebreakmedia, shutterstock/Monkey Business Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Sport & Physical Activity | Purpose of Life | Community Living Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our online magazine, loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! He also works as a collage artist.

Like most of us, Dee Marques spent more time inside at home during the pandemic. It gave her the opportunity to discover the power of pottering – leisurely carrying out small tasks and activities without pressure. Here she shares the benefits it can bring to you. The lockdowns we went through during the COVID pandemic meant many of us spending time indoors trying to keep ourselves entertained. As someone used to an outdoorsy lifestyle spent in nature, I found it tough to find meaningful things to do. That was until a friend said she kept herself occupied by simply pottering around her house most of the day. I tried it, and found it too rewarding to keep it all to myself! So, What Exactly is Pottering Around? Pottering around is all about keeping busy at a leisurely pace, without feeling the need to have specific plans for things that need to be achieved. It’s about letting your eyes wander around your home and finding things that could be done, instead of having a pre-planned list of tasks in your mind. So, in my case, when I first discovered pottering about I started by sorting my fabric stash by colour and then moved onto my button stash. Next, I went to the kitchen to make myself a coffee and put all the bagged spices into glass jars, then picked some rosemary from the garden and setting it to dry. That’s what it’s like to potter around: finding enjoyable tasks that don’t feel like a chore; little jobs you want to do, not tasks that you have to do. Perhaps things you haven't had time to get around to doing due to a busy life. “Pottering around is all about keeping busy at a leisurely pace, without feeling the need to have specific plans for things that need to be achieved.” Pottering around is also about choosing activities that you can look back on and admire or enjoy, and about allowing yourself to jump from one thing to another without feeling guilty about it. However, scrolling down your phone or sitting in front of the TV doesn't count as pottering around! Indeed, keep your pottering digital free as much as possible and you’ll find it much more rewarding this way. So, Why Give Pottering Around a Go? I’ve come to think of pottering as a coping strategy. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed or anxious, and while there’s no right way of dealing with these feelings, the more tools we have, the better our ability to weather the storm. In fact, pottering around can really help when we feel outside of our comfort zone. How? Here are six examples: 1. It promotes mindfulness Pottering about includes some elements of mindfulness, such as the commitment to be intentional and aware of the present. It’s also similar to mindfulness in that it’s a conscious way of using our time, encourages relaxation and non-striving. indeed, there’s enormous freedom in realizing that we don’t always have to fill our spare time trying to achieve something. Tidying your wardrobe is a perfect pottering task 2. It helps us rediscover beauty Potter around for a while and you’ll start to discover pleasure and beauty in small things. In my case, I realised how rewarding it was to arrange fabric by colour; how delightful it was to find little differences in colour shade or intensity. It’s something I’d probably have never experienced if I hadn’t decided to potter about, and for that I am grateful. 3. It helps us go slow Pottering about can help you learn to pace your routine and slow down a notch. It’s so relieving to finally understand that we don’t always have to be speeding onto the next thing and running from deadline to deadline. “Potter around for a while and you’ll discover pleasure and beauty in small things. Pottering helps you learn to pace your routine and slow down a notch. Time is a luxury, so treat yourself by learning to take things slowly. Pottering around isn’t goal-oriented and so it can be considered part of slow living, which has multiple benefits, from better digestive health to a more positive mindset. 4. It helps us reassess productivity Linked to this is the fact that pottering can help us re-assess what it means to be productive. You can say there’s 'normal' (or productive) time and time to potter about. Both have their own advantages, but the thing with productive time is that we can only keep at it for so long before fatigue or burnout set in. This is why it’s important to balance it with time to just potter around. MORE LIKE THIS: The 6 Science-Backed Benefits of Living Simply The Power of Silence. 10 Benefits of Cultivating Peace and Quiet How to Practise Niksen: the Art of Doing Nothing 5. It can help in reducing stress I’ve already said that pottering isn't doing nothing at all, it’s an active pursuit that entails movement without the rush we usually associate with 'being on the move'. There’s plenty of evidence confirming the benefits of controlled and slow-paced physical movement. For example, practices like tai chi are sometimes described as 'medication in motion' that can reduce stress and improve cardiovascular health. Pottering around in the garden 6. It's simple! You can jump straight into pottering around, since you don’t need anything special to get started and it’s not like taking up a hobby that requires specific gear or tools. If you want to potter about, just look around and you’ll find plenty of simple things you can do with what you already have. Some Ideas For Pottering Around OK, so now you the benefits of pottering about, here is some inspiration to get you kick-started into action: Gardening or landscaping – without any pressure Going for a mindful walk Writing a thank you note to a friend Sorting out your fabric or yarn stash Grinding favourite coffee beans Neatly folding the clothes in your dresser Organising your tool box Cleaning and sorting the cutlery drawer Hanging a bird feeder in your balcony or patio Making some DIY potpourri Enjoying your very own tea ceremony or ritual Reorganising the book shelves Going through recipe books and finding new dishes to try Polishing jewellery Polishing wooden surfaces Oiling those squeaky door hinges Tackling “the bag of bags”: that plastic bag full of other plastic bags we all have! Creating a music playlist for working, relaxing, or reading One last suggestion is to keep track of all the good things that happen once you allow yourself time to potter. This will generate awareness and appreciation for this way of using time, and you may discover something new about yourself too. The Takeaway: the Power of Pottering Around Pottering around is a great coping strategy that you can turn into healing self-care sessions where you experience time without pressure and learn to just be. So, are you ready to become a potterer? Give it a try, discover the magic of pottering about, and find peace, contentment and happiness. ● Images: shutterstock/goodluz, shutterstock/Kostikova Natalia happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Stress management | Healthy habits Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Practicing forgiveness is a scientifically-proven way to cultivate deeper happiness. However, forgiving someone and dropping a grudge isn't always easy. Arlo Laibowitz shares a 9-step process that enables you to forgive, let go of suffering, and move on with your life. Human relationships are beautiful, dynamic and invariably complex. They can bring us great joy, comfort and growth, but they can also lead us to the depths of despair when we are betrayed, misunderstood, disappointed or unfairly treated. In our journey through life, the question isn't whether if we'll experience such hurtful moments, but rather when we'll encounter them – and how we'll cope. Indeed, to live is to get hurt. We've all been in the situation that we feel that others have done us wrong: by their words, their actions, or even worse, their indifference. And then there also the things we regret doing or saying ourselves. We've all heard the saying 'to forgive and forget', but in practice, we tend to hold on to our feelings of hurt and resentment. In fact, the best way to deal with these hurting moments is by actually learning how to forgive someone. That's because there's a wealth of scientific evidence that suggests that practicing forgiveness can be of great benefit – both mentally and physically. Why do we hold onto a grudge? Being hurt or betrayed by someone – particularly someone you care about – causes confusion, anger, and sadness. If you continue to dwell on these hurtful events, resentment-filled grudges can develop and take root, opening you up to being consumed by a sense of injustice or bitterness. What are the negative effects of holding a grudge? If you find it hard to practice forgiveness, you may: Become so obsessed with the wrong that you can't enjoy the present moment. Bring bitterness and anger into new friendships/relationships. Become irritable, depressed, or anxious. Lose potentially valuable and enriching connections. Understanding the Power of Forgiveness So, how can we learn how to forgive someone for good? And how does forgiving help us to lead happier and more peaceful lives? Forgiveness is defined as a conscious, deliberate decision to let go of resentment or vengeance towards a person or group who has harmed you. However, forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean forgetting, condoning, or excusing offences. It is what we do for ourselves to get well and move on. Forgive and forget someone in nine simple steps shutterstock/fizkes Furthermore, forgiveness is not just a nebulous, spiritual concept but a science-backed strategy that can lead to better emotional and physical health. According to numerous studies, forgiveness can reduce depression, anxiety, and lead to better heart health. In a 2005 study, researchers at the Department of Psychology at Luther College, Iowa, discovered a direct link between forgiveness and several aspects of health, including cardiovascular functioning, physical vitality, and overall mental health. The act of forgiveness also led to lower levels of fatigue and better sleep quality. “There's a wealth of scientific evidence that suggests that learning how to forgive someone can be of great benefit – both mentally and physically.” Extend this prime notion further with research from University Hospitals of Cleveland in 2003. It was found that individuals who were better at forgiveness showed less stress, anger and depression. Those who held onto their resentment had higher levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, and a higher rate of perceived stress. Finally, Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University found in his 2006 study that forgiveness training could not only effectively decrease depression, stress and hostility, but it could also increase feelings of optimism, hope, and self-confidence. How to Forgive Someone in 9 Steps In fact, it was Fred Luskin that originally outlined this 9-step forgiveness program. It helps us to take things less personally, blame others less, and offer more understanding and compassion to others, and to ourselves. So, if you are seeking how to forgive someone who has hurt you, follow these steps: 1. Reflect On Your Experience Know exactly how you feel about what has happened and be able to articulate what is wrong about it. Then, tell a couple of trusted people about your experience. This step encourages expressing your emotions openly, and sharing your experience with others. The key here is acknowledging how the situation made you feel, and expressing that genuinely. 2. Commit Yourself to Feel Better Forgiveness is a personal process. The process starts with a commitment to oneself, highlighting that forgiveness is about your well-being, not the offender's. You are choosing forgiveness for your own peace and tranquility. How to practise forgiveness 3. Don't Condone Forgiveness does not have to mean reconciliation or condoning the actions of the person that has grieved you. Forgiveness is about peace and understanding and taking things less personally. It is about the shift in your own feelings and mindset. 4. Shift Perspective Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts, and physical upset you are suffering now, not from what offended you or hurt you two minutes or ten years ago. “Forgiveness is a personal process. The process starts with a commitment to oneself, highlighting that forgiveness is about your well-being, not the offender's.” This step encourages the recognition that the ongoing pain and distress, rather than the past event, is what primarily causes suffering. 5. Try Calming Exercises Practice stress management to soothe flight or fight, by doing conscious breathing exercises, taking a walk, or whatever else works. Actively manage stress as it occur and aim to soothe your body's reactive response. 6. Lower Expectations Give up expecting things from your life or other people that they do not give you. Luskin advises letting go of unmet expectations for the sake of your tranquility. It's important to accept that you cannot control others’ choices and actions. MORE LIKE THIS: Self-Forgiveness: How to Forgive Yourself in 7 Steps The 6 Steps to an Effective Apology How to Let Go of Bitterness and Resentment 7. Change focus Put your energy into looking for ways to get your positive goals met, instead of focusing on the experience that has hurt you. This step promotes positive thinking and goal-driven attitudes. Instead of dwelling on the hurtful experience, channel energy into seeking constructive ways to meet your positive goals. 8. Look Around You Remember that a well-lived life is an ultimate revenge: look for love, beauty, and kindness. Put energy into appreciating what you have instead of what you don’t have. Living a good life is the best retaliation. It's about taking back the power the offender has over you by shifting focus from negative feelings to the beauty and positivity surrounding you. 9. Remind yourself Amend the way you look at your past; cherish your forgiveness. This is the final step to recalibrating one's perspective. It's crucial to prevent past experiences from tarnishing the present moment. This step helps to restore equilibrium and positivity in life. Embracing forgiveness is like setting a prisoner free and discovering that the prisoner was you. Learning how to forgive someone who hurt you may be gruelling. However, this nine-step forgiveness program can provide you with a structured, practical pathway to navigate through your journey of healing. Remember, healing will take time and patience, but by practicing forgiveness sustainably, you will be opening the door to inner peace, better health and enhanced happiness. What if the person I'm forgiving doesn't change? This is a good question, but getting another person to change isn't the point of learning how to forgive someone. Forgiveness is all about focusing on what you can control and how it can improve your life by ushering in peace, happiness, and emotional healing. Forgiveness removes the power the person that did you wrong continues to hold over your life. The Takeaway: How to Forgive Someone Understanding how to practice forgiveness is more than just about releasing resentment or letting go of grudges. It is about breaking down walls, building bridges and starting on a path to recovery, acceptance and ultimately, happiness. Indeed, research has shown that as we forgive, we are less susceptible to stress, anger and hurt. Once we have learnt how to forgive, it becomes easier to do that in new situations and induces more optimism.So, start on this transformative venture today, and discover the liberating power of forgiveness - not merely for the sake of those who have wronged you, but for your own well-being and harmony. ● Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; }

Positive energizers are optimistic souls that naturally radiate good vibes to others. Psychologist Stanislava Puač J. offers up the 7 traits of positive energizers and explains how you can nurture more positive relational energy in your life, building happiness. I recently came across the notion of positive relational energy and I immediately remembered something that happened during my college volunteer days. We were working with emotionally heavy cases – stories of trauma and disadvantage that stayed with you long after the day ended. One evening, our team met to report on progress, and we were all visibly drained. One of the coordinators walked in, carrying a tray of mismatched mugs and those overly sweet 3-in-1 instant coffee packs we all secretly loved. But it wasn’t the coffee that lit up the room – she cracked a soft joke about how we ourselves were one emotional breakdown away from qualifying for group therapy, and – genuinely – asked how we were doing. Energy is contagious: positive energizers know it! Of course, that moment didn’t change much in the burden we were carrying. But you could clearly see how the energy shifted. We laughed together and the heaviness dissipated. We all grabbed that straw of optimism and held on to it. If a conversation such as this has ever left you feeling unexpectedly lighter, you’ve probably felt the effects of positive relational energy. Let’s unpack what this concept means, how it works, and how you can become one of these people with positive, contagious energy. What Is Positive Relational Energy? Energy is contagious; I intuitively knew that all of my life. Some people walk into a room and lift the entire emotional atmosphere. Others literally drain life force out of you. “Positive relational energy refers to the uplifting and energizing effect that some people have on others. In simpler terms, when we interact, we exchange not only information but also a dynamic flow of energy.” This interpersonal effect is known as relational energy – a term Kim Cameron explored in detail. According to him, positive relational energy refers to the uplifting and energizing effect that some people have on others. In simpler terms, when we interact, we exchange not only information but also a dynamic flow of energy: Positive relational energy is the kind that inspires, motivates, and leaves people feeling better. It’s more than optimism or a forced “good vibes” act. It is grounded in genuine empathy, presence, and authentic connection. On the other hand, negative relational energy manifests as cynicism, constant complaining, competitiveness, or emotional withdrawal. We often label these people energy vampires (because even short interactions with them can leave you mentally and emotionally exhausted). Although Cameron focuses primarily on the effects of positive relational energy in leadership, this vibrant and uplifting exchange can occur naturally in all forms of communication, for example: A family member’s supportive presence can de-escalate conflict or reinforce bonding. A positive energizer can make friends feel secure, seen, and recharged – turning even ordinary moments into sources of connection and strength. In psychotherapy, we can also say that we rely on such positive relational energy to form rapport. So, in essence, relational energy is that invisible current we exchange during shared experiences. 7 Qualities of Someone with Positive Relational Energy Positive relational energy is more than that instinctive feeling that energy is contagious. In fact, it is measurable – and it has been measured – as well as its effects. Within a work environment, research suggests that teams with more positive energizers are more productive, resilient, and cohesive. According to the same study, leaders who create positive relational energy “display humility, authenticity, work passion, humor, trust, spiritual leadership, and servant leadership.” Let’s examine how these individuals’ positivity is contagious and what traits they possess: 1. They’re emotionally attuned Positive energizers are also empaths. They notice how others feel and have high emotional intelligence. They have an emotional radar that picks up others’ discomfort, disengagement, or tension. And most importantly, they respond with warmth and non-judgment. 2. They listen deeply People endowed with positive relational energy make people feel heard. They nod, reflect, and create a safe space. They go beyond active listening and give the kind of attention that says: “You matter.” Deep listening is a key trait of positive energizers 3. They elevate rather than compete It is not always easy to genuinely celebrate others’ wins. Envy is defined as “an unpleasant, often painful emotion characterized by feelings of inferiority, hostility, and resentment caused by an awareness of a desired attribute enjoyed by another person or group,” by researchers who reviewed empirical and theoretical work on this feeling. “Choosing to be a positive energizer doesn’t mean denying stress or sugarcoating reality. It is about appreciating the beauty of life and passing that appreciation onto others.” Despite its negative hue, most of us tend to experience envy at some point in our lives. Positive energizers, conversely, don’t rely on comparison to feel worthy. Their energy reinforces mutual success, not status games. 4. They radiate solution-focused optimism People whose positivity is contagious also have bad days. However, they don’t focus on problems – but on paths guiding everyone out of trouble. Their default tone is constructive, not corrosive. 5. They use humor wisely Positive energizers know when to bring lightheartedness – as well as when not to. A light, playful remark at the right moment can defuse tension, and these individuals know just the right dose of humor. 6. They’re generous with genuine praise and gratitude Praise, appreciation, and gratitude can have a profoundly positive impact on both the giver and the receiver. If someone carries that positive relational energy, they will notice what’s going right and say it out loud. In this way, their contagious energy boosts not only individual moods but also team morale. RELATED: Happy Habits: 12 Ways to Build Joy Levels Daily The Power of Kindness: the Ripple Effect of Being Nice When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! 7. They model integrity and trust People feel safe around a person whose positivity is contagious. Why? They behave in this manner in all life situations. They are consistently positive and respectful. That safety is part of the energy they radiate. How Can I Develop More Positive Relational Energy? You don’t need to be born as a positive energiser. Much like empathy or leadership, positive relational energy can be nurtured. Here’s how you can take the traits outlined above and turn them into intentional habits and small, everyday actions: 1. Enter the room with intentional awareness The foundation for positive energy exchange is mindful presence. Start building awareness of yourself and your effect on others. You can try to: Take a mental note of how your mood might be affecting others whenever you interact with them. Pause before meetings or conversations to ask yourself: “What energy am I bringing into this space?” Be conscious of your non-verbal communication, too (body language, gestures, etc). 2. Rewire your internal world and fill it with gratitude Gratitude shifts your focus from a scarcity to an abundance mindset – and people feel that shift. What is more, it becomes contagious. These are some of the practices you can try: A quick “what went well today” reflection at the end of each day. Expressing appreciation out loud, even for small things. 3. Use listening as a relational tool, not just a social skill We often think we’re listening when we’re really just waiting for our turn to speak! When you intentionally listen, it is not a void space – active and mindful listening creates energy. To develop in this area: Release the need to mentally script your response. Offer simple reflections like, “That sounds tough,” or “You seem excited about this.” 4. Become a calm source of momentum People with positive relational energy aren’t relentlessly cheerful and bubbly. However, they tend not to cling to their problems. Here are a couple of ideas on how to develop that forward-focused mindset and “infect” others with it: Practice asking “What’s one small thing we can do next?” when conversations spiral into frustration. Stay curious and open, rather than critical. Spread good vibes to others through positive relational energy 5. Infuse lightness without losing depth Humor isn’t just about making people laugh. It’s about reminding others (and yourself) that not everything is heavy all the time. Moreover, it has been proven to facilitate relationship-building. So, start using yours to promote positive relational energy and: Sprinkle in jokes, harmless observations, or share uplifting stories. Use playful tones as emotional palate cleansers during tough conversations. 6. Forgive (with boundaries) Even if we think we’re good at hiding it, unresolved resentment leaks into interactions. “People with positive relational energy aren’t relentlessly cheerful and bubbly. However, they tend not to cling to their problems.” Of course, we’re not promoting letting someone off the hook if what they did was terribly wrong. Still, forgiveness sets you free to relate more fully if the transgression wasn’t that severe (if it was, you are fully entitled to set healthy boundaries). How to practice forgiveness intentionally? Practice small acts of emotional release (journaling or reframing). 7. Treat consistency as a superpower To be energizing, you need to make others feel safe around you. In other words, it is about being steady, respectful, and present. Here’s how: Show up in a way that people can count on, even when you’re tired. Guard your integrity, so others will know it’s safe to follow your lead. Takeaway: Choose to Radiate Positive Contagious Energy Whether we realize it or not, we’re constantly transmitting. Our voice, demeanour, and words form an energetic signature that affects those around us. Most of the time, we don’t think about this too much. Yet, if you want to be that positive, energizing force in the world, you can deliberately change how you radiate. Choosing to be a positive energizer doesn’t mean denying stress or sugarcoating reality. It is about appreciating the beauty of life and passing that appreciation onto others. It is the kind of contagious energy that brings about genuine change. ● Images: shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri A, shutterstock/Tint Media, shutterstock/LightField Studios happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Stanislava Puač J. Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.

There are many different types of Buddhism. Ann Vrlak explains the unique components of the main four Buddhist branches: Theravada, Mahayana, Vajrayana, and Chan/Zen. You don’t need to wear a robe or shave your head to explore Buddhism. This worldwide religion is practiced by people who want tools to live more simply and mindfully, all the way to those who want to dive deep into a more spiritual lifestyle. To take a quick look back, Buddhism was born over 2,500 years ago in the region now known as northern India. With the help of a vast web of trade routes, Buddhism spread across Asia, and eventually around the world. The Buddha’s teachings were influenced by the various cultures they came into contact with, to create many different forms of Buddhism. These adaptations are both cultural and personal. For example, a culture might place high value on community. Or, someone might have a personal value of individual responsibility. The good news is, the branches of Buddhism now offer a doorway for everyone to enter. Buddhism has multiple branches: which suits you best? Let's take a look at the four most prominent types of Buddhism: Theravada, Mahayana, Vajrayana and Chan/Zen Buddhism. 1. Theravada Buddhism If you’re drawn to learning about personal awakening and responsibility, Theravada is the branch of buddhism to begin with. It is the oldest surviving branch of Buddhism and the most traditional, practiced primarily in Southeast Asia: Thailand, Laos, Sri Lanka, Myanmar and Cambodia. Theravada Buddhism has a structured, disciplined approach to spiritual growth. Building self-awareness is key – examining how the teachings are reflected in your unique life circumstances and challenges. “If you’re drawn to learning about personal awakening and responsibility, Theravada buddhism is the place to begin. It is the oldest surviving branch of Buddhism.” This school of Buddhism has a foundation of deep practice, always favouring direct experience over conceptual understanding. The ultimate goal is individual enlightenment: liberation from suffering. Theravada Buddhism is grounded and practical, with insight and mindfulness meditation as the central practices. They are integrated into daily living, as well as long periods of meditation and contemplation. This intense practice is honourable, whether it’s done by those on the monastic path or everyday practitioners. In a nutshell Theravada offers a step-by-step, structured approach to personal awakening. 2. Mahayana Buddhism The “Great Vehicle” is used to describe Mahayana Buddhism. Mahayana expanded from India, into China, Japan, Vietnam and Korea to become one of the most influential schools of Buddhism. While Theravada puts individual enlightenment at the centre of its philosophy and practice, Mahayana believes the goal is awakening for the sake of all beings. In fact, Mahayana sees individual enlightenment as a contradiction or misunderstanding. To highlight that perspective, this type of Buddhism uses the core idea of the bodhisattva. This is someone who devotes themselves to practice not only for themselves, but for others. In fact, the selflessness of the bodhisattva is said to be so pure they “hold themselves back” from total enlightenment until all beings can join them. Meditation is a key component of Theravada Buddhism For Mahayana Buddhists, development of compassion is given equal importance to wisdom. True wisdom is not realized, unless it is interwoven with compassion. So, Mahayana practice focuses more on a direct awakening of the heart. There is a wide range of practices and texts, based on the belief that there are many “skillful means” to open one’s heart. Practices include chanting, visualizations and devotions. In a nutshell If placing compassion at the centre of your spiritual life feels best to you, embracing the benefits to others, begin with the Mahayana branch of Buddhism. 3. Vajrayana Buddhism Vajrayana Buddhism grew out of the Mahayana tradition and is its most elaborate form. If you have seen any of the Dalai Lama’s rituals or temples, you had a glimpse of the complex world of Vajrayana Buddhism: mandalas, sand paintings, deities, symbols and chanting. This “Diamond Vehicle” of Buddhism came to its most intricate expression in Tibet and the Himalayan Regions of Nepal and Northern India. “Which type of Buddhism calls to you? Each has its own way to understand and engage with our human experience.” It is these rituals and objects that differentiate Vajrayana Buddhism from other schools of Buddhism. These are much more than symbolic.They are intended to directly affect your mind and energy. Contemplating a mandala, for example, does not engage your thinking mind. It resonates with a deeper way of seeing life’s patterns. This branch of Buddhism, more than others, is considered a serious commitment that depends on a relationship with a teacher. In a nutshell If you’d like to learn a casual meditation practice, one of the other types of Buddhism is best. Vajrayana Buddhism is for you if you want to dedicate yourself to consistent inner work with an established teacher. 4. Chan/Zen Buddhism Now, we go to the other end of the complexity spectrum to Chan/Zen Buddhism. In both China (Chan Buddhism) and later in Japan (Zen Buddhism), practitioners wanted a stripped-down, essential spiritual philosophy and practice. Chan/Zen Buddhism centres on ideas that might sound familiar to you: simplicity and mindfulness in everyday activities, and direct experience of the awakened view through disruptive practices. Let’s briefly look at these concepts, especially the latter. Mindfulness is core to Chan/Zen Buddhism Chan/Zen encourages mindfulness and practices around every action you take; honouring everything, no matter how small. This idea is behind tea ceremonies and creation of rock gardens. When you do simple, mundane activities, with full attention and reverence, something rich shines through. RELATED: Visualization Meditation: How to Practice it Do Buddhists Believe in God? What Goes Around Comes Around: is Karma Real? Koans are one of Chan/Zen’s most infamous tools. These are paradoxical sayings that your mind can’t untangle, so not only does it become frustrated, but it temporarily “goes offline.” When your day-to-day mind lets go, a direct experience of reality breaks through. In a nutshell If using tools to bypass your usual way of thinking is exciting to you, try Chan/Zen koans. They are creative, surprising ways to wake up your mind. Chan/Zen Buddhism is also a powerful way to begin a practice that embraces mindfulness of everyday actions. Takeaway: Types of Buddhism Which branch of Buddhism calls to you? Each has its own way to understand and engage with our human experience. The four types of Buddhism we have talked about here offer a doorway in for people with different goals and personalities. And, if you want to explore, there's no reason you can’t try all of them. See which buddhism type supports you best in areas you care about – and that might be different at different stages of your life. Curiosity is all you need to begin. ● Images: shutterstock/Dilok Klaisataporn, shutterstock/Christophe Badouet, shutterstock/Microgen happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Gratitude | Altruism | Acceptance | Ethics & Morals Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Is it possible to spread joy and positivity simply through our actions? Can happiness really be contagious? Sonia Vadlamani delves into the science behind how happiness can ripple through our social circles and impact on others. Even as someone who leans toward introversion, I find myself smiling at strangers when I travel or while visiting a new place. What began as an intuitive gesture has gradually developed into a personal experiment to see whether such a visible expression of happiness could be contagious. And, more often than not, sharing a smile with strangers usually works in my favour. This is true especially in crowded, high-stress environments like airports. Given the frustrating delays, extended layovers and long transit hours, a simple smile can feel like a kind gesture – a way to soothe frazzled nerves and uplift spirits. Indeed, over time, I’ve noticed something remarkable: happiness does appear to be contagious. The proof is in the pudding: when I was smiley and upbeat, the over-stretched airline staff seemed more courteous and check-ins became smoother: there wan't an issue when my luggage was slightly over the allowed weight limit and I often got a seat upgrade for free. Indeed, it’s hard to stay grumpy when someone around you is being kind and pleasant. Our author tested the happiness contagion theory while traveling OK, this doesn’t work every single time, but it does make a meaningful difference very often. It seems our attitude does influence the environment around us. Which raises a powerful possibility: that happiness is contagious as well. So, is Happiness Contagious? What Science Says The contagiousness of happiness isn’t just a theory but a widely researched and scientifically validated phenomenon. In fact, a longitudinal social network analysis of almost 5,000 individuals spanning over 20 years establishes that happiness is a collective phenomenon, spreading up to three layers of separation within a social cluster. In essence, people who are surrounded by happy people are more likely to become happier themselves, particularly when in close proximity. This ripple effect of happiness can be partly explained through the theory of emotional contagion, which proposes that we subconsciously mimic the facial expressions and emotional states of the people we come into contact with. Our brains are equipped with a network of cells known as the Mirror Neuron System (MNS), which interprets the facial movements and emotional markers of those around us and reflects the same. This also explains why we tend to “mirror” the emotional cues from our environment – why we instinctively smile when someone is smiling and grimace when others around us seems tense. “Happiness is contagious, no doubt. However, spreading joy doesn’t require grand gestures and extensive shifts in your routine. Very often it’s the small, thoughtful actions that leave the biggest impact on others.” Dr David R. Hamilton, renowned author and founder of The 21-Day Kindfulness Experiment, elaborates on the happiness contagion phenomenon: “This means that if you become happier, you will increase the likelihood of your friends becoming happier (1-degree), your friends’ friends (2-degrees), and your friends’ friends’ friends (3-degrees). And most likely you have never met, nor will ever meet, most of the people in this latter group. Yet your change in happiness affects them.” Emotional contagion plays a key role in personal relationships by encouraging behavioural synchrony. Simply put, we often mirror the behaviours of happy people around us – consciously or otherwise – driven by the promise of greater well-being and life satisfaction. Laugh and the world laughs with you: 5 ideas to spread happiness Happiness is contagious, no doubt. However, spreading joy doesn’t necessarily require grand gestures and extensive shifts in your routine. Very often it’s the small, thoughtful actions – along with the ability to be present and attentive – that leave the biggest impact on others. Here are five simple yet powerful practical ideas you can implement into your day-to-day activities to help you spark joy that ripple outward: 1. Extend small acts of kindness A review of 489 articles and 27 studies by researchers Oliver Scott Curry et al found that small acts of kindness boost wellbeing and happiness levels. Martin Seligman, professor at the University of Pennsylvania, expands upon this striking insight in his book Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being, "We scientists have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have tested. Here is the exercise: find one wholly unexpected kind thing to do tomorrow and just do it. Notice what happens to your mood.” Show kindness to waiting staff who are often rushed off their feet Indeed, extending kindness doesn’t just benefit the recipient but helps the giver feel better about themselves as well. Being kind to others leads to the release of “feel-good” hormones like endorphins and oxytocin that also improves the helper’s mood, bolstering the idea that happiness is contagious. This phenomenon, also known as “helper’s high,” creates a ripple effect that can brighten someone’s day while lifting your own spirits. If wondering where to begin, start with small, random acts of kindness. You can engage in ‘pebbling’ – a term inspired by the charming trait of penguins, who present their mate with the most perfect pebble they can find. Pebbling involves low-effort but meaningful gestures that show you care, like: Holding the elevator for someone Helping someone carrying a heavy stroller on a staircase Complimenting a stranger on a great outfit Surprising your coworker with their favourite muffin Acknowledging someone behind the counter with a smile and a friendly “How’s your day been?” Recommending a book to a friend you think they’d love Running errands for an elderly neighbour Sending an encouragement text to someone before an exam or interview Unlike grand gestures involving significant effort, planning or money, pebbling is essentially rooted in kindness. While seeming like simple, spur-of-the-moment actions, these kind gestures can go a long way in spreading positivity and cheer. 2. Gossip, But Positively While complimenting someone directly may be discredited as flattery or brown-nosing, praising someone behind their back seldom comes across as insincere. As prominent author and life coach Martha Beck explains in an article on Oprah.com, “What people say behind our backs really sticks.” So, the next time you find yourself wondering, “is happiness contagious,” try spreading it through positive gossip. “Being kind leads to the release of 'feel-good' hormones that also improve the helper’s mood, bolstering the idea that happiness is contagious.” Use the tendency to gossip to uplift rather than undermine: admire people in their absence and share genuine compliments with third parties. According to a study published by the Computer Science Department of the University of Minnesota, in addition to halting the train of negativity, positive gossiping can also elevate the social standing and perception of the person being discussed. 3. Share Smiles: Even If They’re False We tend to smile when we’re happy. And as both science and my own experiment showed, smiling can spark feelings of trustworthiness and happiness in those who witness it as well. However, a recent collaborative study published in Nature Human Behavior found that even posed smiles can make us happier as well. This concept, known as the ‘facial feedback hypothesis,’ suggests that recreating the facial features resembling a smile – even when you don’t genuinely feel joyful – actually signals your brain to generate more positive emotions like cheerfulness. A small gesture, if you think about it, with a surprisingly impactful pay-off – both for yourself and others. Share a smile and see that happiness is contagious! 4. Offer Moral Support People often feel isolated when left to deal with challenges and difficult situations on their own. Offering support to someone going through a rough patch can be a powerful way to spread happiness. You don’t need to go out of your way – a bit of compassion and empathy can make a big difference. Fully listening to a friend or colleague without judgment, being mindful of a loved one’s needs during tough times, offering a shoulder to lean on, or volunteering your time to help can lighten their burden and provide comfort. 5. Nurture Yourself First Indeed, we now know that positivity is contagious. However, you can only spread the cheer when you genuinely feel good yourself. Research shows that even short breaks can help restore attention and improve cognitive performance. So, take time out to pause and reflect. Think of it as checking in with yourself. Assess if your habits and choices still align with your goals and if they’re helping you create a life of joy and purpose. Resist the urge to judge yourself too harshly. Instead, celebrate the progress you’ve made so far and how close you are to building a meaningful, purpose-filled life that you’ve envisioned. Takeaway: Yes, Happiness is Contagious Indeed, happiness isn’t just a personal experience, but a social one, given that happiness can ripple through our social circles, influencing our friends, family members, and even strangers. As the old saying goes, “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” When you align your life choices with your values and follow your bliss, your emotional well-being can uplift others around you. By intentionally prioritizing your well-being, you’re not just nurturing yourself but playing an active role in creating a joyful, kinder world. ● shutterstock/View Apart, shutterstock/Jlco Julia Amaral, shutterstock/PICHES KANTHAWONG happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Neuroscience | Empathy | Communication Skills Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

We've all heard of karma, but this concept isn't as simplistic as it first seems. Ann Vrlak explains four different types of karma within Buddhism and Hinduism – sanchita, prarabdha, kriyamana and agami – as well as the idea of collective karma. Karma is sometimes misunderstood as punishment or reward. But, in both Hinduism and Buddhism, it’s seen more simply – and non-judgementally – as “cause and effect.” Karma is a concept that explains some of life’s mysteries, like why one person seems to have bad luck and another succeeds at everything they do. It explains how your thoughts and actions ripple through not just your own life, but through multiple lives and the world around you. Hinduism and Buddhism have an elaborate teaching about the different types of karma – how they’re formed, how quickly their effects come into being, and how much our choices can influence those effects. These teachings are interwoven with the idea of a repeating cycle of birth and death. This cycle ends when a person achieves enlightenment and is freed of karma. It’s helpful to think of karma as planting seeds. When you’re a gardener, you know that not every seed will “come to fruition.” There are many factors that help or harm a plant’s growth. Thinking of your thoughts and actions as seeds makes karma easier to understand. Exploring 4 Types of Karma Different cultures and religions have their own variants of karma, but within Hinduism there are four main types of karma: sanchita, prarabdha, kriyamana and agami. Let's take a closer look at each karma type with some examples of each and the spiritual lessons you can take away. 1. Sanchita Karma: Stored Karma from the Past Sanchita karma is a immense concept! It is seen as your karmic “archive” – the complete storehouse of actions that haven’t yet “come to fruition.” They may have gathered over many lifetimes or from earlier chapters in your current life. Out of this vast archive, only a small part becomes active at any given time. What This Karma Type Might Look Like Someone grows up with a strong desire to work with animals, even though this isn’t particularly valued in their family or culture. This could be an example of sanchita karma, a store of positive karma about animals carried into the person’s life. Spiritual Lesson This long view of human life and the effects of your actions has two main lessons. First, that you may have patterns from past lives that influence you today. You’re not bound by them, however. Practices like meditation can help you understand these sometimes mysterious patterns. “Different religions have their own variants of karma, but within Hinduism there are four types of karma: sanchita, prarabdha, kriyamana, and agami.” Second, it fosters the belief that what you do today will have effects far beyond what you may see in this lifetime. 2. Prarabdha Karma: Karma that is Ripening Now The piece of sanchita karma that is active in your current life is called prarabdha karma. This type of karma forms the core elements of a person’s life, like their family of origin, and key challenges and gifts. Once prarabdha karma is “switched on,” it can’t be stopped, but you can become aware of it and change how you respond to it. What This Karma Type Might Look Like A person born into a family with ongoing caregiving responsibilities may be living with the effects of prarabdha karma. This karma type can seem like you’re living a storyline that is already written. Spiritual Lesson Prarabdha karma teaches acceptance and equanimity. There may be circumstances and situations in your life that you can’t change, but by letting go of struggle around them you can cultivate deep maturity and peace of mind. 3. Kriyamana Karma: The Karma of Present Time Effort The first two karma types are out of your control – they come into the world with you! Kriyamana karma is different. This type of karma accumulates from actions you take today – how you treat your partner or friends, how you cooperate with colleagues, the states of mind you tolerate. This is where your current actions and choices form your future. In Buddhism, the Eightfold Path offers guidance on how to create positive kriyamana karma. What This Karma Type Might Look Like Maybe you are someone who easily becomes angry if you’re criticized. You decide to learn a relaxing breath practice and use it to have a “pause” before you react. This simple act is a positive seed for a new karmic pattern. Spiritual Lesson In each moment, you’re at the intersection of your past and future. Well, that’s always true! But, in the karmic teachings, your actions and your effort can both disrupt a karmic burden from the past and create a future that reflects who you most want to be. 4. Agami Karma: The Future You’re Building Both the cause and the effects of this karma type happen on a more subtle level. Agami karma is the karma you create through your current actions, but the effects aren’t apparent yet. The cause of agami karma is not just your actions, but your motivation behind them. “Hinduism and Buddhism have an elaborate teaching about the different types of karma – how they’re formed, how quickly their effects come into being, and how much our choices can influence those effects.” So, acting generously in return for some other gain, for example, won’t win you karmic points! You can see agami karma like a stream that feeds into your sanchita karma. What This Karma Type Might Look Like You support environmental causes year after year, driven not by guilt or a desire for praise, but by genuine concern. Seeing direct results in your lifetime may not happen, but your intention becomes part of agami karma. Spiritual Lesson When your helpful actions are supported by an inner intention, you will accumulate the most positive agami karma. How to Live with Karmic Teachings Do you find these karma types pessimistic or optimistic? The message of karmic teachings and practice is not that the course of your life is programmed. It’s actually the opposite. It explains how important your actions are. You are causing ripples in your current life, and even far into a future you can’t now imagine. And there are many things you can do to become aware of your karma and work with it to better your future. Sanchita karma: This type of karma usually shows up in repeating patterns in your life. You can lessen those patterns by noticing them and deliberately choosing different responses. Meditative practices are a powerful tool to become more familiar with your patterns, in a spirit of kindness and curiosity. Prarabdha karma: You can’t “stop the arrow” of prarabdha karma. But, meditative practices can also help you learn how to be with it and lighten its effects on your current life. Kriyamana karma: Your actions and intentions now are what matters. You can build a powerful storehouse of positive karma through everyday, small actions. Agami karma: Here, the motivations behind what you do take on the greatest importance. Agami karma says, “You can’t fool me.” How you think of others and yourself matter just as much as what you do. Collective Karma The belief in karma extends to collective karma. This is an accumulated karmic debt for particular cultures or traditions. You may be part of a group of people that has a long history of discrimination. That experience is infused in your group’s karma. Or, you may come from a culture that centres on caregiving for others. It’s supported by a generational pattern. In fact, karmic teaching says that all of humanity lives in a field of collective karma. From that point of view, your actions are even more important. Takeaway: Types of Karma Whether you are a believer or not, karmic teachings put you at the centre of a vast web of life where we are all connected and affect each other, for better or worse. You choose the seeds you will plant for your own present and future, and for the collective good of everyone. ● Images: shutterstock/AI Generator, shutterstock/VectorFusionArt happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Spirituality | Acceptance | Altruism | Conscious Living Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Is it possible to hack happiness? Sonia Vadlamani explores 8 research-backed strategies that can help us intentionally cultivate greater contentment in our daily lives. Happiness can often feel elusive – all of us wish to lead fulfilling, joyful lives, but ironically, the pursuit can be exhausting. The UN-sponsored World Happiness Report mirrors this paradox, with the rankings for the United States dropping sharply from 15th spot in 2023 to 24th in 2025. Emerging issues like loneliness and inflation have been cited as the major contributors to this decline. The happiness rankings for the United Kingdom continue to plummet too, with the plunge to the 23rd place all the way from 20th the year before. Meanwhile, the country that has consistently topped the World Happiness Ranking for the eighth consecutive year is Finland, sparking global intrigue about what makes the Finnish way of life so favourable and if there’s a way to make these principles – or happiness ‘hacks’ – relevant and actionable for the rest of the world. What are happiness hacks? Happiness hacks are simple, effective strategies devised to boost one’s overall wellbeing and enhance levels. You can think of them as psychological tricks to make yourself happy or simply ‘happy habits’ that, when put consistently into practice, can make a long-term impact. Strengthening social connections is a key happiness hack According to Alex Palmer, New York Times-bestselling author of Happiness Hacks: 100% Scientific! Curiously Effective!, “Small changes today can lead to big changes tomorrow. And that’s where happiness starts.” In essence, happiness hacks are small, intentional changes that can result in significant improvements in one’s mood, outlook, and life-satisfaction levels. So, how can I increase my happiness? While your genetic makeup and life circumstances do influence your happiness baseline to a great extent, research suggests that happiness can also be a conscious choice. Boosting happiness levels requires intentional effort on one’s behalf, and the happiness hacks listed here can help improve your wellbeing levels over time. 8 happiness hacks that deliver We’ve gathered some evidence-based insights – some familiar, others unexpected – to make the pursuit of happiness more achievable (and enjoyable). Here are eight happiness hacks or strategies to help you lead a more meaningful, joy-filled life. 1. Strengthen your social connections A groundbreaking Harvard study involving 724 participants over 85 years found that the most important key to a happy life isn’t wealth or success but having strong, healthy relationships. In other words, hacking happiness begins with developing enriching social connections and nurturing relationships that matter to you. RELATED: The 6 Qualities of True Friendship The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits No Friends? Here's How to Make New Ones as an Adult To keep these relationships healthy and enriching, experts suggest practicing ‘social fitness,’ which refers to taking stock of one’s friendships and connections, evaluating these social connections and devising a realistic plan to devote time and effort to strengthen them. 2. Spend time in nature Spending time outdoors in nature has been linked to numerous physical and mental health benefits, including better heart health, lesser stress levels, and even lower mortality rates, according to Heather Eliassen, professor of nutrition and epidemiology at Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health. She explains, “Exposure to green space results in mental restoration and increased positive emotions and decreased anxiety and rumination.” “Happiness hacks are simple, effective strategies devised to boost one’s overall wellbeing and enhance happiness levels. You can think of them as psychological tricks to make yourself happy.” Another study links spending 120 minutes a week in nature to wellbeing and happiness. Hacking happiness, therefore, can be as simple as reconnecting with nature by stepping out to soak up some sunshine or taking a peaceful stroll in a park as you breathe fresh air. Take this happiness hack further by incorporating the calming power of meditation and try meditating in nature. 3. Break a sweat Regular physical activity is well-documented for improving overall wellbeing, relieving stress, and alleviating signs of depression. So, if you’re wondering how to hack happiness, get your blood pumping with a form of exercise you enjoy, be it strength training, Zumba, swimming, or dancing. Even a brisk 20-minute walk can elevate your mood by triggering the release of endorphins – your body’s ‘feel-good’ hormones that promote relaxation and a positive attitude. Hike in the hills and combine two happiness hacks at once (nature and exercise) 4. Healthy food, healthy mood A growing body of research supports the idea that you are what you eat. Simply put, since food fuels your brain and body to perform their required functions, the quality and composition of the food determine how you feel and function. What you eat has a direct effect on your brain function and mood. RELATED: The Gut-Brain Axis: Understanding Mood and Food Additionally, studies indicate a strong connection between gut health and emotional wellbeing, with any imbalance in the gut microbiome potentially resulting in low mood and signs of depression. Thus, hacking happiness can begin on your plate, preferably with a balanced diet consisting of lean proteins, green leafy vegetables, legumes and healthy fats. 5. Invest in therapy Sometimes, even with all the psychological tricks to make yourself happy, you may find your inner fears and limiting beliefs holding you back. In such situations, taking the next step toward a fulfilling life may feel challenging without external support, such as good counselling. In fact, a 2009 study by the University of Warwick and the University of Manchester found that therapy could be up to 32 times more effective at making you happier than making more money through a pay raise or a lottery win. While the idea of seeking therapy can feel daunting, understanding that it may help uncover your authentic potential and propel you toward your best self can make it a step worth taking. 6. Minimize your choices Living in the digital age has conditioned us to believe that having more choice means more freedom. However, it can also result in decision fatigue. As a matter of fact, an experiment by Stanford professor Baba Shiv uncovered that facing a constant multitude of choices can place a ‘cognitive load’ on the brain, negatively impacting your decision-making ability and mental peace. Therefore, if you’re wondering how to hack happiness, try narrowing your choices – not by avoiding or delaying decisions, but by streamlining your decision-making process. 7. Experience the magic of novelty often While a set routine can boost productivity, introducing novelty occasionally in your schedule can enhance your wellbeing and spark happiness, according to a 2020 study published in Nature Neuroscience. “People feel happier when they have more variety in their daily routines – when they go to novel places and have a wider array of experiences,” explains Catherine Hartley, assistant professor at New York University's department of psychology and co-author of this study. “Hacking happiness begins with developing enriching social connections and nurturing relationships that matter to you.” So, if you’ve been feeling stuck or bored with life, it may be time to embrace the magic of novelty. Liz Moody, the creator of the viral neuroplasticity hack ‘Novelty Rule,’ emphasizes that these novel experiences don’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. Instead, hacking happiness through novelty could be as simple as brushing your teeth with non-dominant hand, a tiny addition in your routine, such as creative journaling, learning a language, or a new experiment in the kitchen. Travel can be a way to welcome novelty as well. “You needn’t even go very far,” Karyn Hall, author of The Emotionally Sensitive Person, explained to Psychology Today: “Even a day trip to a nearby town can offer fresh sights and experiences.” You may be surprised by how many hidden gems exist not far from your doorstep! 8. Practice gratitude Humans are wired for negativity by default, but research suggests that expressing gratitude can help us shift our focus through enhanced neural sensitivity toward positive experiences. Robert Emmons, psychologist and professor at UC Davis, emphasized gratitude's social power in an article for Greater Good Magazine: “I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion, because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.” Daily gratitude journalling can build happiness levels Indeed, daily gratitude journaling can be an effective way to start hacking happiness – take 5 or 10 minutes to write down three things you’re grateful for and one meaningful experience you had the previous day. This happiness hack will gradually train your mind to embrace a positive outlook. What are Helsinki happiness hacks? According to a BBC report, some of the factors contributing to Finland’s robust happiness index can be attributed to the presence of a strong social welfare system, the country’s commitment to equality and well-being for its citizens, and low levels of corruption. “Daily gratitude journaling can be an effective way to start hacking happiness – take 5 or 10 minutes to write down three things you’re grateful for.” In addition to the institutional strengths, Finland’s cultural emphasis on spending more time in its abundance of nature plus the inherent attitude of resilience and strength in the Finnish people – known locally as sisu – are two of the widely-known wellness practices – or the so-called Helsinki happiness hacks – that contribute to their sustained overall happiness levels as well. Takeaway: How can I make myself happy? While happiness hacks are effective tools grounded in psychological research, these strategies may not always guarantee consistent happiness for everyone. In fact, a 2018 study found that the constant pursuit of happiness may sometimes leave you feeling not happy at all – mainly since striving too hard to be happy can ironically consume all the time one can spend being happy. That’s why it’s important to stay connected to your authentic self and understand what fulfills you – this self-awareness can render these happiness hacks more effective. Try being more intentional about living in the present – and make room to focus on the good mood here and now! ● Images: shutterstock/Tint Media, shutterstock/Vergani Fotografia, shutterstock/alexgo. photography happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Neuroscience | Stress management | Nature Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Becoming a volunteer is an important and meaningful way to help individuals and communities. And, as Calvin Holbrook writes, the multiple benefits of volunteering are proven by science. With most of us leading busy lives, the idea of volunteering – giving your time and energy to a cause without financial reward – may seem an impossible task. How can we fit anything else into our already jam-packed schedules? However, volunteering is important for many reasons and doesn't have to take up a huge chunk of your time. Furthermore, as well as the obvious benefits of volunteering to the community, individual or organization receiving assistance, there are multiple benefits – physical and mental – for the volunteer. It's these benefits that could partly explain the rise in popularity of volunteering over the past few years. During 2012-13, 29 per cent of adults in England, UK, said they had formally volunteered at least once a month. The figure in the United States is not far off, at around 25 per cent (with slightly more women volunteering than men). Promisingly, an increasing number of these people are young adults. In the UK, figures show that 2.9 million people in the 16 to 25-year-old age group volunteered during 2015, compared to just 1.8 million in 2010: an almost 40 per cent increase. Volunteering is an important tool to connect communities So, why the interest in volunteering? The Greek philosopher Aristotle once said that the essence of life is “to serve others and do good,” and it seems an increasing number of us are starting to wake up and see why volunteering is important. Many of us are starting to understand how serving and helping each other and different communities benefits not just others but ourselves, too. So, just why is volunteering important? Volunteering is important as it offers essential help to worthwhile causes, people in need, and the wider community. Indeed, many organziations and charities rely on the generosity of volunteers as they’re only part-funded through government or local councils, and cannot afford to pay salaries for all their staff. In fact, many companies depend almost solely upon teams of volunteers to help them thrive and do their work. What are the benefits of volunteering? Of course, the benefits of volunteering for those receiving help are clear. Whether it’s providing kids in a Third World country with free English classes or litter picking at your local beach, the benefits to the receiver and the wider community are usually part of the reason why you decide to volunteer in the first place. “Volunteering is important as it offers essential help to worthwhile causes, people in need, and the wider community.” But did you realise just how important volunteering could be for the person doing it? In fact, volunteering is beneficial to the doer for a whole host of reasons, including stress reduction, combating depression and providing a sense of purpose. And while studies show that the more you volunteer, the more benefits you’ll experience, volunteering doesn’t have to involve a long-term commitment. Even giving in simple ways can help those in need and improve your overall health and happiness. So, let’s take a closer look at just why volunteering is valuable with seven key benefits of this altruistic act. 1. Volunteering connects you with others If you’re feeling lonely, isolated, or simply want to widen your social circle, volunteering in your local community is an important – and often fun – way to meet new people. In fact, one of the best ways to make new friends and strengthen existing relationships is to commit to a shared activity together, and volunteering lets you do just that. If you’ve recently moved to a new city or country, volunteering is an easy way to meet new people, strengthening your ties to the local community and broadening your own support network. Furthermore, it connects you to people who have common interests and passions who could go on to become great friends. RELATED: The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits Happy Habits: 12 Ways to Boost Joy Levels Daily Finding Your Tribe: The 7 Steps You Need to Take In fact, volunteering is an important and interesting way to meet people who you might not normally connect with: people from different age groups, ethnicities or social groups. Because volunteering is open to everyone, it allows you to meet a wide variety of people from all sorts of walks of life, something that can only broaden your life experience further. 2. Volunteerism builds self-confidence and self-esteem Doing good for others and the community helps to create a natural sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Working as a volunteer can also give you a sense of pride and identity, helping to boost your confidence further by taking you out of your comfort zone and environment. Indeed, volunteering helps you to feel better about yourself, which you can then take back to your ‘regular’ routine, hopefully creating a more positive view of your own life and future goals. Volunteering builds self-confidence and reduces loneliness If you’re naturally shy or fearful of new experiences, cultures and travel, volunteering overseas could be an important and insightful way to help you build self-confidence in this area (not forgetting the other benefit of this type of volunteering – a chance to see a bit of the world at the same time!). Furthermore, research shows that volunteering could be particularly useful in boosting the self-esteem and confidence of adolescents who are just starting their life journey. A 2017 study from the University of Missouri and Brigham Young University that included almost 700 11- to 14-year-olds examined how sharing, helping and comforting others affected self-confidence. The study found that altruistic behaviors raises teens' feelings of self-worth, and that adolescents who assisted strangers reported higher self-esteem one year later. A National Youth Agency report seemed to corroborate this evidence. In it, young people aged 11 to 25 “repeatedly stressed that volunteering had increased their self-confidence, self-esteem and self-belief.” This self-confidence boost was shown to be strongly linked to improved communication skills, especially amongst young volunteers who were previously nervous about meeting new people. 3. Volunteering is important for physical health Interestingly, volunteering has distinct health benefits that can boost your mental and – perhaps surprisingly – physical health. Indeed, a growing body of evidence suggests that people who give their time to others might benefit from lower blood pressure and a longer lifespan. “If you’re feeling lonely or simply want to widen your social circle, volunteering in your local community is an important – and fun – way to meet new people.” A 1999 study showed that so-called ‘high volunteers’ (helping out at two or more organizations) had a 63 per cent lower mortality rate than non-volunteers. And more recent research (2013) from Carnegie Mellon University found that adults over 50 who volunteered regularly were less likely to develop high blood pressure (hypertension) compare to non-volunteers. Hypertension is an important indicator of health as it contributes to stroke, heart disease and premature death. Lead study author Rodlescia Sneed said that carrying out volunteer work can increase physical activity among those who aren’t normally very active, and that it could also reduce stress: “Many people find volunteer work to be helpful with respect to stress reduction, and we know that stress is very strongly linked to health outcomes.” Importantly, volunteers seem to notice these health benefits too. Indeed, a 2013 study from UnitedHealth Group and the Optum Institute of over 3,300 U.S. adults revealed that 76 per cent of those in the United States who volunteer said it makes them feel physically healthier. Also, around 25 per cent said that volunteering had been important in helping them manage a chronic health condition. 4. Volunteerism improves mental health When it comes to volunteering being important for mental health, the benefits are clear. Being altruistic in this way can help counteract the effects of stress, depression and anxiety. Indeed, the social contact aspect of helping others can have a profound effect on your overall psychological well-being. Volunteering keeps you in regular contact with others and helps you develop a solid support system, which in turn combats against feelings of loneliness and depression. Volunteering with animals has also been shown to improve mood while reducing stress and anxiety. Volunteering has many important health benefits Finally, volunteering boosts mental health simply because carrying out an altruistic act makes you happier; the so-called 'helper's high'. Human beings are hard-wired to give to others, and by measuring so-called brain activity and happiness hormones, researchers have found that being helpful to others can deliver great pleasure. RELATED: The Power of Kindness Shared Humanity: Why it Matters Human Kindness: Why We Need it More Than Ever A 2008 study from the London School of Economics examined the relationship between volunteering and happiness in a large group of American adults. The researchers found that the more people volunteered, the happier they were. Compared with people who never volunteered, the odds of being ‘very happy’ rose seven per cent among those who volunteer monthly and 12 per cent for those who volunteer every two to four weeks. 5. Volunteering is important for a sense of purpose Because volunteering means choosing to work without receiving monetary compensation, people often choose to give their time to issues or organisations they feel are important or have a special connection to. For example, if you're a big animal lover you may want to volunteer at a pet shelter. Or, perhaps you’ve living with or have recovered from an illness and want to dedicate some of your spare time to a charity that helps others living with the same condition. Volunteering like this helps address a social problem that is meaningful to you and in turn helps to build a sense of purpose, which further boosts your own happiness levels. “When it comes to volunteering being important for mental health, the benefits are clear. It can help counteract the effects of stress, depression and anxiety.” You can try volunteering at any age to help build a sense of purpose, but it’s often particularly common in older adults – those that have retired or maybe lost a partner of friends. Whatever your age of life story, volunteering can be an important technique to help give your life new meaning and direction. 6. Volunteering helps you forget your own problems One other benefit of volunteering is that focusing on others can give us a deeper sense of perspective and help distract us from negative thoughts and help stop rumination. Volunteering often involves helping those in need and can be useful in showing us that, in fact, our own lives are not as bad as we thought they were. 7. Volunteering is important for your career In an increasingly competitive job market, volunteering experience can be incredibly useful. It shows potential employers that you can take initiative and that you’re willing to give your own time to improve the world for other people. Furthermore, volunteering gives you the opportunity to practice important common skills used in the workplace, such as communication, teamwork, problem solving, planning and organization. Indeed, if you haven’t had a full-time job before then volunteering is an essential way to prove your skills when you do go for work interviews. Boost future job prospects through volunteering Also, if you’ve just graduated or looking for your first job, volunteering is an important and relatively easy way to get a foot in the door of a company you’d like to work with. Even if there's no immediate chance of employment afterwards, volunteering can help you to make connections for the future. Furthermore, if you’ve already had jobs and are considering a change of direction, volunteering is an important and fun way to try out different career options, especially if you’re not quite sure of where you want to go next. Indeed, volunteering offers you the chance to try out a new career without making a long-term commitment! Takeaway: the Benefits of Volunteering It's clear the benefits of volunteering are huge – improved physical and mental health, new friends and avoiding loneliness, a sense of purpose and deeper self-confidence. In turn, all of these things will help to boost your overall happiness: a win-win situation for all involved. If you're considering volunteering, ask yourself a few questions before taking the plunge. Firstly, think about which causes you're passionate about – it means you're more likely to enjoy and stay committed to the work. Secondly, are you looking for regular volunteering opportunities or a one-off project? Thirdly, what skill set can you offer and what can you hope to gain from volunteering? Good luck when you finally get going, and make sure you have fun – volunteering is important – the benefits are clear – but it's important to enjoy it too! • Images: shutterstock/Dragon Images, shutterstock/ESB Professional, shutterstock/Rawpixel.com, shutterstock/Monkey Business Images, Have you ever volunteered? What are the benefits for you? Share in the comments below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Kindness | Motivation | Learning | Altruism Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our online magazine, makes art and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage!

Choosing kindness over negativity or indifference may not be our default setting, but we can cultivate it over time through consistent action. Sonia Vadlamani suggests 7 ways in which we can always be kind towards others – and ourselves, too. The discussion around kindness has heightened ever since the COVID-19 pandemic unfolded, perhaps owing to the rise of various aid groups during lockdowns and contingencies, or because the interruption of life as we knew it caused us to reconsider our priorities and values. Indeed, kindness is undoubtedly considered one of the most prized social currencies, in addition to being the cornerstone for humankind’s virtues. Philosophers and spiritual gurus have hailed the virtue of kindness as a potent gift for centuries, while academic researchers and psychologists have conducted considerable research centered on the power of kindness. Still, at some point in our lives, most of us have been denied a more compassionate approach by someone, or have disregarded the option to extend kindness towards others. Some of us may have been bullied online or received a harsh response to a genuine query, and at times we’ve regretted our indifferent or judgmental behavior towards others. With the wide-ranging benefits of kindness so well known, why do we need to be reminded to choose kindness – why don’t we 'just be kind' all the time? Why we should always choose kindness It's fair to wonder why we should have to 'choose' kindness, rather than it being our natural state. However, our perennially busy and fast-paced lives may have rendered us indifferent to the suffering and problems of those around us. Furthermore, our inherent negativity bias may persuade us to react strongly to unfavorable or unpleasant outcomes, instead of assessing the situation in a more objective light. RELATED: What Goes Around Comes Around: Is Karma Real? Additionally, human beings are wired to judge others according to their character and actions, while they tend to judge themselves based on the situation. This tendency – also known as “fundamental attribution error” – is based on the inconsistency in our reaction towards other people’s actions or views. While we may attribute our failures or decisions to the circumstances we were caught up in during a situation, we do not readily assess other people’s behavior and problems in the same understanding manner. For instance, if I ever park too close to someone else’s car, then I must have had an emergency, and hence it should be forgiven as a one-off incident. However, if someone else parked outside their line so that their vehicle encroaches on my parking spot, then they must be irresponsible and need to be taught a lesson! Does this line of thinking seem familiar to you? Donating goods – or time – to a food bank is one way to choose kindness Indeed, choosing kindness can bring about a much-needed shift in the way we judge. Always being kind can teach us to look carefully and objectively at the way we react to external stimuli and assess the circumstances before we react in a rude or harsh manner. How to Always Be Kind “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible,” as the 14th Dalai Lama famously stated. Choosing kindness poses several benefits for us and others around us, yet costs nothing. To cultivate kindness as a daily practice, Dr Tara Cousineau – renowned psychotherapist and author of The Kindness Cure – suggests that we ponder over the question: how can I bring kindness into my day, in any small way? “Choosing kindness can bring about the much-needed shift in the way we judge. Being kind can teach us to look carefully and objectively at the way we react to external stimuli. Always be kind.” “Kindness is not random,” says Dr Cousineau. She explains that choosing kindness intentionally requires us to be compassionate, considerate, understanding and forgiving in a consistent manner, even on the days we may not feel like it. Authentic kindness requires genuine intention and effort on our part. The process of always being kind may gradually get easier once we start experiencing the joy or cheer that being kind sparks in others. How Does Choosing Kindness Benefit Us? Being kind comes with a wealth of research-backed benefits. Acting kindly can make us feel less anxious, and can ease social avoidance tendencies, allowing us to form meaningful connections. Kindness can also combat psychological distress and alleviate depression. A study by Dr Hans Kirschner from the University of Exeter revealed that being kind switches off our inbuilt threat response, allowing us to feel safe and relaxed. In turn, this promotes tissue regeneration and healing in the body. This ability to switch off the threat response can reduce the onset of disease and boost our well-being. 7 ways to choose kindness every day Cultivating kindness in our daily routine begins with consistent action. Researcher Helen Weng compares the ability to practice kindness with the science of weightlifting, wherein one can build their ‘compassion muscle’ and get more adept at helping others with sufficient practise. So, here are seven ways in which we can try to choose to be kind and considerate every day: 1. Create a kindness plan It's possible to choose kindness in the way of small gestures and little things that can spread happiness and brighten someone’s day. Jot down one act of kindness for each day of the month – for others and yourself – that you can carry out, thus encouraging the neural pathways in your brain towards embracing positivity and compassion. The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation shares a comprehensive list of kindness ideas that can be carried out with minimal effort. Some examples of random acts of kindness can include: Buying a few extra items at the supermarket for donations – many supermarkets now have designated areas where you can leave produce. Alternatively, look into ways of donating to food banks. Complimenting a stranger in a good-natured manner. Befriending an elderly person to help them combat loneliness: inviting them for a chat over a coffee. Supporting local businesses by buying their products. 2. Practise compassionate listening Offering someone our undivided attention in the form of mindful listening can be a simple, effective and free way to choose kindness. Remember, it is essential to keep all technological distractions and our inner judgmental voice at bay while we listen compassionately. 3. Donate or raise funds for charity A 2010 survey conducted by Harvard Business School pointed out that individuals who were more generous financially and made sizeable charitable donations measured highest for overall happiness levels. The study revealed that prosocial spending, or utilizing one’s financial resources to help others resulted in improved emotional well-being. RELATED: Money Can't Buy Happiness (Except When You Spend it Like This!) Raising funds for animal welfare, organizing a fundraiser for the care of cancer patients at your local hospital, helping a neighbor who may be facing a crisis by organizing a charity drive, etc. are some of the ways you could bring about a positive change by choosing kindness. A litter pick shows kindness to the planet 4. Choose to be kind online While the advent of social media has made us more aware and conscious, unfortunately it also has given rise to rampant cyberbullying, and hostile behavior based on one’s appearance, ethnicity, gender stereotypes, and personal beliefs, etc. RELATED: Adult Bullying And How to Deal With It We can choose kindness online by encouraging positive messages, spreading cheer and love instead of hate, and ignoring negative or hateful content. Even when we disagree with someone, it's always possible to do so in an objective and respectable manner. 5. Choose kindness for the planet While gardening offers several mental health benefits as a hobby, it can contribute towards greener and cleaner living spaces as well. Finding small ways to reduce our carbon footprint and adopting more sustainable practices like picking up litter, packing a waste-free lunch, carrying your own tote to grocery shop, etc, can go a long way to improve the world around us. 6. Practise kindness at work It's important to remember that your employees and coworkers have their own challenges, hidden from plain sight. Leading with compassion can improve morale, boost productivity and ensure higher employee retention, according to research. “Choosing kindness intentionally requires us to be compassionate, considerate, understanding and forgiving in a consistent manner, even on the days we may not feel like it.” Leaders in service industry – and hospitality sector in particular – quite possibly realize the importance of choosing “habitual kindness”, in attempts to deliver experiences that customers will remember forever. Indeed, consumer decisions are often based on how well their expectations were met and the collective experience, so if you find yourself being loyal to a particular brand or service provider, it's probably because their leadership drives down kindness as their core value. 7. Choose to be kind to yourself Always being kind towards yourself becomes more crucial than ever during adverse times, or when you are feeling low. After all, it’s harder to practice kindness towards others when you’re stressed or overwhelmed. Befriending yourself gently through self-compassion and self-care is the first step towards choosing kindness. Psychologist Kristen Neff suggests establishing helpful self-compassion breaks when you find that you’re stressed or being too harsh on yourself. Place a hand over your heart and practice saying to yourself: “May I regard myself in a gentler, fair light”, or, “May I bring kindness to this moment, even when I’m stressed.” These self-compassion statements will help you centre your attention back to choosing kindness for yourself. The takeaway: choosing kindness As the famous saying goes, “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”. While we may not remember every person we ever met by their name, we are likely to remember each act of kindness rendered to us. Indeed, choosing kindness as a daily practice can offer a host of physiological and psychological benefits. Deciding to always be kind – especially in situations where our inner voice is telling us to escalate conflict – may take some practice, but it can also create long-lasting happiness for others, as well as ourselves. ● Images: shutterstock/BAZA Production, shutterstock/Dragon Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Compassion | Altruism | Empathy Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

At its core, self-inquiry is the persistent introspection on the question “Who am I?” to discover the source of the Self. Rachel Markowitz explores the fuller meaning of self inquiry, and shares steps to start practicing it. About 12 years ago, towards the end of a month-long program at a yoga retreat center in Central America, I was paired with a coursemate for an “authentic relating” exercise. Our facilitator instructed us to take turns asking each other one question. However, unlike in a typical conversation, the person answering the question was required to speak for five minutes non-stop; and, the person listening would do nothing but listen mindfully – no nodding, no uh-huh-ing, no reactions whatsoever – while keeping their eyes fixed on the speaker. This particular workshop is particularly memorable to me because of its provided prompt: “Who are you?” Like most people in the room, I was caught off guard by this provoking question, unsure how to answer. Yet, with a timer ticking away and my heart open and vulnerable from a month of living in community, I began to fill the silence by voicing streams of thoughts. At first, my answers felt shallow – a list of pronouns, roles, and qualifications about my past and present life. However, as I continued to sort through my initial impressions, my answers became more profound until, suddenly, I realized that my real response was beyond words. Self-inquiry is a practice of looking within with questions So, although my introduction to self-inquiry – sometimes written as self-enquiry – was not through a traditional method, it brought me clarity about something I had never considered before – that I am not my body, not my emotions, and, as confusing as it was to me at that point in life, that I am also not my mind or a mere soul on some journey. Personal experiences aside, self-inquiry is known throughout spiritual traditions as a powerful method for bringing about paradigm-shifting changes to constructs about life and Self. So, let's take a deeper look at the meaning of self-inquiry, its origins, and how you can begin to practice self-inquiry with questions. What is the Meaning of Self-Inquiry? Self-inquiry, or atma vichara in Sanskrit, is a practice of looking within for the source of the Self. This inquiry most commonly takes the form of a simple question directed at ourselves: “Who am I?” Unlike my introduction to self-inquiry, the practice is not actually to answer this question or contemplate it with the mind – it’s simply to ask and observe. Teachings revolving around self-inquiry suggest that when we directly question “I,” (also known as the ego), the construct of “I” has nowhere to hide. “Self-inquiry is a practice of looking within for the source of the Self. This usually takes the form of a simple question directed at ourselves: “Who am I?.” Thus, with repeated interrogation and sustained introspection, our sense of “I” eventually subsides, revealing our true nature. When “I” falls away, we are left with pure awareness because every thought we could possibly have depends on the existence of “I.” Is Self-Inquiry Meditation? Although many people label self-inquiry as “meditation,” this can be a bit misleading. In meditation, there is an object upon which we are meditating (the breath, a mantra, an energetic sensation, etc.) Alternatively, with inquiry, the focus is inward on the self as a subject. When we question ourselves, we begin to see that this subject, “I,” is based on the false assumption that our mind is real! Thus, successful inquiry leads to a lack of separation between subject and object. “Who am I?” is the key self-inquiry question On a similar note, it’s important to mention that when we practice self-inquiry, the question “Who am I?” is repeated frequently – but not as a mantra (commonly used in meditation). If “Who am I?” becomes a mantra, there is separation between the meditator and the object of meditation; thus, we lose focus on the Self. One of the benefits of self-inquiry is that you don’t need to sit and close your eyes to practice. While it certainly helps to devote a set time to doing this, you’ll find that eventually, your inquiry will happen naturally and spontaneously throughout daily activities. Self-Inquiry as a Path to Liberation According to Advaita Vedanta, or the path of nonduality, the practice of self-inquiry is a direct method to experience self-realization. Atma (self) vichara (inquiry) as a path to liberation is encouraged and explained throughout ancient texts including, amongst many others, the Bhagavad Gita, Ribhu Gita, and Yoga Vashishta. However, self-inquiry “meditation” is practiced today largely due to the influence of Sri Ramana Maharshi, an Indian sage or jnani, who realized the Self through a lucid experience of death as a teenager. “Self-inquiry is a powerful and straightforward technique for disidentifying with the typical moment-to-moment mental chatter of the Egoic mind.” Although Ramana Maharshi is primarily known for his silent presence, he often referenced the scriptures above as validation of his own experiential teachings and, furthermore, provided clear instructions for self-inquiry. These basic steps are outlined in the pamphlet “Who Am I?”, and are also described in more detail in the book “Maha Yoga,” which, by its translation, identifies self-inquiry as the “Great” yoga. In fact, in Sri Ramana’s own words, “Self-enquiry is the one infallible means, the only direct one, to realize the unconditioned, absolute Being that you really are.” However, even if your spiritual path is unclear and self-realization is not your intention, questioning your self-nature can provide balance, clarity, and authenticity in all areas of life. How To Practice Self-Inquiry According to Ramana Maharshi’s teachings, self-inquiry is an advanced practice. However, in this case, “advanced” refers to mature spiritual seekers. Thus, if you’re called to investigate the nature of Self through inquiry, this curiosity is likely credential enough. Ramana Maharshi celebrated on an Indian stamp Nevertheless, to begin to practice, you’ll need to learn to calm your mind! You can do this by following your breath, focusing on your heart center, or any other concentration method that works for you. Once your mind feels peaceful and present, you can begin to inquire: When a thought arises, ask yourself, “To whom is this thought?” (Your answer will likely be something like, “To Me.”) Ask yourself, “Who Am I?” (This question will confound your rational mind and direct it to the source of “I,” extinguishing all other thoughts, which cannot exist without the “I-thought.”) When another thought comes, repeat this process. With practice, you’ll find that your mind will begin to rest, effortlessly and thoughtlessly, in the spiritual heart center – the source, according to Ramana Maharshi’s teachings, of the “I-thought.” In other words, the spiritual heart is the place from which the ego arises. Once you can fix your mind in this space of pure awareness, you can stop your inquiry and remain as you are, free of “I.” “According to Advaita Vedanta, or the path of nonduality, the practice of self-inquiry is a direct method to experience self-realization.” These steps are merely the beginning of a self-inquiry journey. For further instructions and inspiration, I recommend consulting the link to “Maha Yoga” in the previous section or reading other works from the Maharshi’s devotees. As Sri Ramana points out in a poetic verse of Upadesa Undiyar, “The Essence of Instruction”: “When one turns within and searches whence this I-thought arises, the “I” vanishes – and wisdom’s quest begins.” Other Self-Inquiry Questions and Methods Throughout the past century, followers of Ramana Maharshi have adapted his teachings and created variations to his “Who am I?” approach. For example, spiritual teacher Robert Adams offered alternative questions for self-inquiry, including: What is this “I” that exists at all times? Where does this “I” come from? Who am I that slept last night? Who am I that has just awakened? Who am I that exists now? Additionally, spiritual seekers often benefit from contemplation or meditation on self-inquiry using partners or groups, like the exercise I described in the introduction to this article. RELATED: What Goes Around Comes Around: Is Karma Real? What is Enlightenment In Buddhism? Feeling Lost in Life? Move On In 7 Steps According to Daniel Schmidt, founder of the Awaken the World Initiative, who facilitates self-inquiry dyads, holding oneself accountable to a witness creates “conditions of no escape for the ego structure and for the awakening of the realization of your true nature.” In these dyads, instead of asking partners a question, one person prompts another in a statement, “Tell me who you are.” Takeaway: What is Self-Inquiry? Self-inquiry is a powerful and straightforward technique for disidentifying with the typical moment-to-moment mental chatter of the Egoic mind. Ancient and modern-day spiritual teachers alike suggest that “Who am I?” is the ultimate question along the path to spiritual wisdom. With patience, perseverance, and sincerity, this simple method of introspection can guide us towards an all-pervading sense of peaceful, everlasting presence. Images: shutterstock/rdonar, Wikimedia Commons, shutterstock/JLco Julia Amaral happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Acceptance | Letting go | Happiness | Learning Written by Rachel Markowitz Rachel recently found herself over a decade deep in a worldwide wander guided by what she feels to be true. She’s been facilitating classes and workshops on yoga, meditation, self-exploration, and alternative ways of living since 2012, mostly in Latin America and Asia. These days, she spends most of her time looking at, walking around, or singing to a sacred mountain in southern India. Read more of her words at her to those who wonder blog.

Put simply, nonduality (or nondualism) is a way of being whereby you feel interconnectedness with everyone and everything around you. Rachel Markowitz explains the deeper meaning of nonduality, its origins within Hinduism and Buddhism, and ways you can practice it. Take a moment to consider how you interact with the world – not only your physical surroundings, but also how you see yourself and others. Do you envision yourself as an individual? Are you part of a whole? Can you imagine your life as something entirely beyond these concepts? As it turns out, it’s rare to see “self” as something other than a person; that is, as an individual who wanders through life, engages with others, and strives for the ideals of health, true connection, and a sense of purpose. However, at some point along the spiritual path, we tend to encounter profound questions about the nature of self, the universe, and reality. When contemplating these questions, it’s helpful to understand the meaning of nonduality – the direct experience of “not two.” In nondualism, the nature of Self is pure awareness or consciousness If you find this concept hard to grasp, pause and reflect for a moment on this enlightening quote from British-American writer and philosopher Alan Watts: “You are a function of what the whole universe is doing in the same way that a wave is a function of what the whole ocean is doing.” To hopefully make the concept clearer, this article will provide an introduction to nondualism, explain nonduality vs. duality through ancient yet still-relevant teachings, and suggest methods for opening to nondual awareness. What is Nonduality? Nonduality comes from the Sanskrit word advaita, which translates to “not two.” Thus, nondualism conjures ideas like oneness, completeness, and infinity. However, nonduality is more than a concept or philosophy; it’s an experiential recognition, and because of this, it can’t be taught or captured within the limits of language. Accordingly, most teachings explain nondualism by what it is not: nonduality (advaita) is the absence of duality (dvaita). Therefore, to understand nonduality, it’s essential to first discuss duality. What is Duality? In simple terms, duality implies two opposing forces. In a dual existence, we consider aspects of life as good or bad, light or dark, positive or negative, and so on. Regardless of whether these forces are seen to negate or complement each other, they are two ends of a spectrum that are separate. “Nonduality comes from the Sanskrit word advaita, which translates to “not two.” Thus, nondualism conjures ideas like oneness, completeness, and infinity.” When we look at existential questions, duality often refers to the idea that we (humans) are separate from God (which we could also call existence, the universe, the divine, etc.) In dualism, I am a human, you are a different human, and there is a God apart from you and me. I am a subject perceiving objects, and I see the world through the unique eyes of a unique seer who is uniquely seeing. Nonduality vs Duality On the other hand, in a state of nondual awareness, there is no separation between an individual and God (existence, universe, etc.) In other words, nonduality implies that subject and object are of the same nature, and that there is no difference between the seer, the seeing, and what is seen. From a nondual perspective, pairs of opposites are perceived as manifestations of the absolute. Since this may feel like a stretch to the rational mind, it’s important to note that when we look at nonduality versus duality, nondualism isn’t anti-dualism. Nondualism is simply a way of existing that is not based in separation. However, through this nondual lens, we can still recognize opposing forces and see that, from a human perspective, duality exists. Nondual Teachings History has pointed towards nondual awareness as part of various philosophical and spiritual traditions throughout space and time. Although we can see examples of nonduality suggested in lineages of shamanism, Taoism, Sufism, and even Christianity, this state is most succinctly illustrated through the ancient Indian and Buddhist philosophies that have shaped contemporary nondual teachings. Nonduality is the human experience of oneness; a sense of connectedness and identity Advaita Vedanta According to Advaita Vedanta (nondualism as taught in the Vedas, the oldest texts of Hinduism), everything is Brahman, the absolute, and the true Self (or Atman) is not separate from Brahman. Put simply, the nature of Self is pure awareness or consciousness. The catch is that we only know this to be true when we experience life in nondual awareness. To illustrate this concept, Advaita teachings often use a metaphor involving a cinema to give an example of nonduality. When we watch the movie of our lives, we often think we are the main character. However, in reality, we are not limited to a character or to the one watching the film. Rather, we are the blank screen upon which everything is happening. And, as an observer, we can see that nothing on the screen can affect the screen itself. Nonduality in Buddhism Although Buddhism negates the idea of a true, inherently existing Self or Atman, the teachings of the Buddha are also nondual. In fact, in Buddhism, the belief in a separate self is known to be the source of all human suffering! “When we look at nonduality versus duality, nondualism isn’t anti-dualism. Nondualism is simply a way of existing that is not based in separation.” In Buddhism, nonduality is expressed as advaya, and concepts such as recognizing emptiness (sunyata), impermanence (annica), and no-self (anatta) all direct us towards the understanding of our “Buddha nature.” The Buddha taught that what we see as reality is merely an illusion that can be overcome by anyone through disciplined practice or, as commonly taught in Zen traditions, through a sudden experience that causes one to forget the limited self. RELATED: How to Practice Buddhism For Beginners How Did Buddhism Spread? Do Buddhists Believe in God? Practicing Nondualism The only way to completely “understand” nonduality is to directly recognize it. However, seekers of truth can intentionally make an effort to predispose themselves to practices and teachings that have the potential to open doors to nondual reality. So, if you’re curious about nonduality, consider these three suggestions: 1. Meditation Although all meditation techniques will eventually lead to the same place, the following two concentration methods can directly facilitate states of pure awareness: Contemplating the Self Examining the self, or “self-inquiry,” is asking yourself, “who am I?” The premise of this practice is that the ego, when directly targeted, can’t justify its existence. Thus, with repeated asking and searching, the Self is revealed. Contemplating Emptiness Buddhist techniques like analytical meditation and witnessing the emptiness of the mind help us grasp the nature of reality – the interdependent, transient essence of existence. 2. Exploring the Teachings As previously mentioned, nonduality is referenced through time-tested (and also timeless!) scriptures. These teachings hold energy and have the potential to transmit experience to those who read between (or beyond!) the lines. Here's a short list of Vedic and Buddhist teachings that point towards the true meaning of nonduality: The foundational texts of Advaita Vedanta: the Upanishads, the Brahma Sutras, and the Bhagavad Gita, along with hundreds of commentaries and texts by 8th-century scholar and teacher Adi Shankaracharya. Who Am I? by Sri Ramana Maharshi, a 20th-century sage with a large global following who spread interest in Advaita Vedanta through his teachings. I am That by Nisargadatta Maharaj, another self-realized sage who followed the path of Ramana Maharshi. The Heart Sutra, a Mahayana Buddhist text (translated here into modern-day language by Vietnamese Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh). The Great Way, a poem by the third Patriarch of Zen, illustrating nonduality vs. duality. 3. Repeating Nondual Affirmations Affirming or contemplating your true nature can also nudge your awareness into a space of nondualism. To practice, you can repeat one of the following affirmations or mantras, aloud or mentally: I Am Shivoham (literally, “I am Shiva”, which we can interpret as “I am consciousness.”) Tat Tvam Asi (One of the four Mahavakyas, or great truths from the Upanishads, that translates to “That Art Thou” or “You Are That,” in reference to our true essence) Takeaway: What is Nonduality? Seeing from a nondual perspective allows us to open to life’s mysteries. If this feels overwhelming, keep in mind that if you’re reading this, you’re already on your way; contemplating the meaning of nonduality and witnessing the mind, along with sincere introspection, can reveal to you the pure essence of “not two!” Let's finish with this quote from Indian Hindu sage Sri Ramana Maharshi: “In reality, there is neither dvaita or advaita, but that-which-is.” ● Images: shutterstock/agsandrew, shutterstock/AI Generator happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Acceptance | Letting go | Eckhart Tolle Written by Rachel Markowitz Rachel recently found herself over a decade deep in a worldwide wander guided by what she feels to be true. She’s been facilitating classes and workshops on yoga, meditation, self-exploration, and alternative ways of living since 2012, mostly in Latin America and Asia. These days, she spends most of her time looking at, walking around, or singing to a sacred mountain in southern India. Read more of her words at her to those who wonder blog.

Many of us are trying to find greater happiness in our lives. Learn how to boost your daily joy and well-being with these 11 science-backed tips from Calvin Holbrook. In today's modern and busy world, finding happiness can seem challenging. For the majority of us, our lives are more stressful than ever and we have less time to relax and enjoy life. The recent shift in mainstream media becoming increasingly negative only helps to fuel our anxiety, leading to greater misery and unhappiness. Happiness is a state we all want to live in, but is it even realistically possible to be upbeat and content the whole time? And what exactly is happiness? Would you consider it a way of life, a certain mood, or a state of mind? It's clear happiness levels fluctuate, but is there a way to increase or regulate them? Or is happiness a choice? In fact, as most of us have probably realized by now, there’s no magic way to stay joyful all the time. However, there is some science behind the nature of happiness. Furthermore, once we understand this, we can develop our skills to find happiness and remain joyful for longer periods consistently. So, follow these 11 science-backed ways to increase your levels of joy and you should be able to see a positive difference in your daily well-being and discover deeper happiness more easily. How to find happiness: 11 science-backed tips From staying social to practising gratitude: make these 11 changes to your life and start finding more happiness. 1. Stay social and build quality relationships Science is clear on out first tip on how to find happiness: you can improve well-being through developing quality relationships. We humans are a social species and need regular contact. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness and recent studies show it can even be as harmful to mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. How to find happiness within yourself? Through others But if you're searching for happiness, don’t start adding random friend requests to people on Insta just yet. Simply having many different acquaintances doesn’t lead to a boost in happiness levels – research shows that it’s the quality of our relationships that's key to boosting our well-being. In a landmark 75-year, multigenerational study, Robert Waldinger measured happiness levels in people from Boston’s poorest neighbourhoods and found that the most joyful were those with high-quality social connections. Furthermore, lonely people were less happy and, significantly, had poorer health. RELATED: How to Make New Friends As An Adult The 6 Qualities of True Friendship How to Be a Better Friend: 9 Ideas So, make sure to nurture more meaningful relationships with the people you already love. And, if you're feeling alone or disconnected from your current friendship group, finding your tribe – people with whom you are likely to get on best with – is a surefire way to finding more happiness. 2. Force a smile Buddhist Thích Nhất Hạnh once wrote: “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”’ Indeed, studies have shown that smiling and other external expressions work as a continual feedback loop, helping to reinforce our internal emotions. “If you're on a quest for how to find happiness within yourself, start by thinking of others first, and begin to lead a more meaningful life.” Psychological scientists from the University of Kansas conducted a study in which they assessed the impact of smiling on one’s physical and mental state. They came to the conclusion that making yourself smile can help lower your heart rate during stressful times. So, smiling even when we feel down can actually makes us feel happier. Furthermore, try smiling at strangers, too: studies also show that happiness is contagious, so you may just get a friendly grin back that lifts you up. This is an easy practical tip which can help you in finding happiness on a daily basis. 3. Find your 'flow' It sounds simple, but take time to think about what you really love doing in life and make an effort to do more of it. Go for simple things you can fit into your schedule on a daily or weekly basis. Maybe it’s being in nature. Perhaps it’s reading, forest bathing, visiting art galleries, cooking a delicious meal, or just dancing around the living room. Whatever your daily happy buzz, make time for it in your life and it will help you in discovering greater happiness. Maybe you can find your flow on the river? Better still, if you can find an activity where your mind is fully immersed in a feeling of focus, involvement and enjoyment, you've probably found your flow. This blissful state – where you're 100% 'in the zone' – sparks true moments of joy, calm and creativity, as well as helping you find happiness by forgetting any current worries. 4. Think positively Some people seem to live by the ‘glass half full’ and ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ anecdotes, and for good reason. In fact, research has shown that positive thinking can assist in stress management as well as playing an important role in your overall well-being and health. A 2017 study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that positive thinking helps in combating feelings of low self-esteem, improves physical health, as well as helps brighten your general outlook on life. “Science shows that writing a daily or weekly gratitude journal can make finding happiness easier.” Here's a simple tip: every time you have a negative thought, try and replace it with a positive one. It's sounds easier said than done, but this practice can help to retrain your usual thought patterns to bring more positive thoughts into your life. Likewise, changing your perspective on your current situation can help in discovering happiness too. If you’ve made a mistake – however big – focus on your past achievements instead, visualizing your successes. Learn more about how to stop ruminating on past mistakes and start living with hope and appreciation of the present moment. 5. Develop a more meaningful life Meaningfulness is a major happy factor that you can extend into all areas of your life. Whether it's through gardening, volunteering, or becoming politically active, meaningful activities have been shown to boost people's happiness while reducing stress levels at the same time. Add meaning to your life by helping others in need What's more, developing meaning through helping others has been shown to be particularly beneficial. A study from 2017 showed that people who offer care and help to others then become better equipped to handle their own problems. Moreover, the researched showed that participants who engaged more by helping others also showed greater decreases in levels of depression. So, if you're on a quest for how to find happiness within yourself, start by thinking of others first, and begin to lead a more meaningful life. 6. Practise gratitude Our next tip on how to find happiness is to show gratitude. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is proven to make you feel happier and more humble. We often focus on what we don't have, but, instead, we should be grateful for what we already do have: a home, food on the table, clothing, and access to water/electricity. Many millions of people in the world don’t have these things (and, interestingly, many of them are still happy!). RELATED: 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice 23 Gratitude Affirmations For Attracting Happiness Yoga for Happiness: Gratitude Yoga Moreover, science shows that writing a daily or weekly gratitude journal can make finding happiness easier. The Journal of Happiness Studies published a study that used gratitude letters to test how being grateful can affect our levels of happiness. The researchers concluded that: “Participants included 219 men and women who wrote three letters of gratitude over a three-week period. Results indicated that writing letters of gratitude increased participants' happiness and life satisfaction while decreasing depressive symptoms.” How to find happiness: gratitude journals helps you appreciate life 7. Stop comparing yourself to others In our social media savvy world, flaunting your travels, relationships and purchases on Insta is all too common. However, comparing yourself to other people only leads to unhappiness. Indeed, data from a 2010 Europe-wide survey of 19,000 people showed that those who compared their incomes to others were less happy with what they had. Furthermore, while other people’s lives may appear 'perfect’, there’s always a hidden story we’re unaware of. We usually only share our best moments on social media, rather than our fears and anxieties. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on achieving your own dreams by goal setting. If needed, change your social media habits and/or delete accounts. 8. Exercise daily If you're wondering how to find happiness, exercising is proven to boost levels of happiness. In fact, exercise has such a profound effect on well-being that it’s an effective strategy for tackling depression. In a study cited in The Happiness Advantage – a book by Shawn Achor – three groups of patients treated their depression with medication, exercise, or a combination of both. All three groups experienced similar improvements in their happiness levels in early days, but the later follow-up assessments proved very different. “Starting your day with just five to ten minutes of meditation will help you in finding happiness. Try meditating in the morning, shortly after waking.” Six months later the groups were tested to assess their relapse rate. Of those that had taken the medication alone, 38 per cent had slipped back into depression. Those in the combination group did a little better, with a 31 per cent relapse rate. But with the exercise group, the relapse rate was just nine per cent, suggesting it really did make a difference to finding happiness. So, make sure you fit some exercise into your daily routine. If you don't enjoy going to the gym, try mindful running or wild swimming to reconnect with nature. Group sea swimming is a great way to boost happiness levels 9. Get plenty of sleep If you don’t rest well, you won’t be able to function at your best. Regular sleep deprivation breaks down productivity, alertness and mood. Aim for between seven and nine hours kip a night and this will help keep your happiness levels up. A 2017 study from the Division of Sleep and Circadian Disorders at Brigham and Women's Hospital, and MIT Media Lab Affective Computing Group showed that keeping regular sleep patterns contributes to the happiness and well-being of college students. The study looked at 204 students over one month. The results show that higher sleep regularity was significantly related to higher morning and evening happiness, healthiness and calmness during the week. “Irregular sleep-wake schedules are common in our modern society," said lead author Akane Sano, PhD. “Our results indicate the importance of sleep regularity, in addition to sleep duration, and that regular sleep is associated with improved well-being.” Struggling to get a decent night's rest? Follow our 14 science-backed sleep hacks or try a deep sleep meditation. 10. Practise meditation Starting your day with just five to ten minutes of meditation will help you to find deeper happiness. Try meditating in the morning shortly after waking: the immediate heightened inner clarity and focus it will give you will set you up for the rest of the day. RELATED: 10 Types of Meditation: Which Style is Best For You? Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature Does Meditation Really Work? Here's What Science Says In fact, there are many studies that have shown that meditation can boost happiness levels by reducing stress hormones, shrinking the part of the brain that controls anxiety, and by stopping rumination, amongst other things. And, according to Psychology Today, meditation is the strongest mental practice that has the power to reset your happiness set point, thus turning you into a more joyful person and literally rewiring major areas in your brain. 11. Go outside more often While we can’t control the weather, spending time outside is essential for our well-being. In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor recommends spending time in the fresh air to improve your happiness. “Making time to go outside on a nice day also delivers a huge advantage,” he says. “One study found that spending 20 minutes outside in good weather not only boosted positive mood, but broadened thinking and improved working memory.” Find your flow: do what you love and find deeper happiness Meanwhile, a study from the University of Sussex corroborated the idea that being outdoors made people happier: “Being outdoors, near the sea, on a warm, sunny weekend afternoon is the perfect spot for most. In fact, participants were found to be substantially happier outdoors in all natural environments than they were in urban environments.” So, whatever the weather, make sure you get outside of your four walls to boost your well-being. The takeaway: how to find happiness Finally, one last thing: science also suggests that some people are simply ‘born happier’. In The How of Happiness, researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests that only around 40 per cent of our happiness is under our control (recent life events and biological set points predetermine the other 60 per cent). So, if accurate, this research means only about half of happiness levels can be controlled at any given moment. If you're searching for how to find happiness within yourself, then incorporate as many of our 11 ideas into your daily life – you should be able to increase your happiness levels over a period of time. Seeking out a positive state of mind, regular exercose, and enhancing quality relationships all help: but these habits require consistent work to be successful and help you in finding happiness. In the meantime, if life gives you lemons, choose to make a tasty lemonade! ● Images: shutterstock/Zoran Zeremski, shutterstock/G-Stock Studio, shutterstock/Ground Picture, shutterstock/Oksana Klymenko, shutterstock/jax10289 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Authenticity | Motivation | Success Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage!

Feeling off-track in life can make us unhappy and unfulfilled, but we should take it as an opportunity for self-discovery. Dee Marques explains how you can help to find yourself and your true purpose again through 10 steps, from journal prompts to embracing solitude. There are moments in life when we feel lost and unsure of who we are or where we're heading. Perhaps it's following a significant life change, such as the loss of a loved one, a change in your professional life, or the disintegration of a meaningful relationship. If you’ve been there, you know that these seasons in life can be tough and uncomfortable – and you’re not alone. Feeling lost isn't uncommon. In the UK, nearly 90% of Brits aged between 16 and 29 say they lack meaning and direction in their lives. Similarly, in the US, a study by Harvard found that nearly 60% of young adults had felt a “void in their lives” within the last 30 days. But built into this lack of clarity and direction there’s also an invitation to go on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. If you’re wondering how to find happiness from within or how to go about finding yourself again, you’re in the right place. Let's look at what finding yourself truly means, the benefits of starting off in this journey, and 10 suggestions on how to find yourself – including some journal prompts for self discovery. Start self-discovery and find your path to success What does it mean to really 'find yourself'? Finding yourself is a journey of self-discovery, but it’s not like the typical journey where you go from A to B in a linear way. When it comes to inner work, we don’t always know what the destination is or what it will look like. Also, this journey can be continuous. After a period of soul-searching, we can get some insights into who we are and what our next step is, but these revelations won't necessarily be valid for the rest of our lives. As we age and face new experiences, our perspectives evolve, making self-discovery an ongoing process. “Finding yourself is a journey of self-discovery, but it’s not like the typical journey where you go from A to B in a linear way. When it comes to inner work, we don’t always know what the destination is or what it will look like.” Indeed, the self-discovery journey isn't about reaching a final destination but about embracing the process of becoming. It's about understanding who you are, which are your true values, the passions that drive you forward, your strengths, and the unique combination of accumulated experiences that make you who you are. Finding yourself means recognising that change is constant and that self-awareness helps you navigate the ups and downs in life with clarity and purpose. Benefits of finding yourself Sometimes, we may be tempted to postpone the self-discovery journey. Perhaps at a subconscious level, we know that truly finding ourselves is going to require radical honesty. But if you push past the initial resistance, finding yourself can be transformative and liberating. The commitment to cultivating self-awareness offers many rewards, including: A better sense of direction Our thoughts and emotions impact our choices and behaviours, so increased self-awareness can help us make decisions and develop habits that get us closer to where we want to be in life. Improved mental health Studies show that Self-awareness influences our levels of emotional regulation and emotional intelligence, so we become better at monitoring our emotional reactions and modulating them so they don’t hijack our mental well-being. In other words, we’re more in control of our internal states. High-quality relationships A UK study found that self-awareness was closely linked to improved social interactions. The reason? Probably because through self-discovery, we learn to develop healthy boundaries, as well as compassion and acceptance for ourselves and others. Increased resilience As we move through self-discovery journey, we become more aware of our strengths and we learn new coping tools. This is helpful when things are tough, as we’re better equipped to move forward with ease. Greater life satisfaction Knowing that you’re living in alignment with your values and goals is one of the most rewarding experiences. Authentic living is the antidote to that existential void that so many people experience. How to find yourself So, if you're feeling stuck in life, here are 10 steps you can take to find clarity about who you really are and what you want your life to mean. But remember; our goals and visions constantly change, so be prepared to repeat these steps at various stages of your life journey. 1. Practice self-reflection Set aside time regularly to reflect on your experiences, emotions, and reactions. Journaling can be a powerful tool, allowing you to track patterns and gain insights into your inner world. Finding yourself is made easier with journal prompts for self discovery 2. Explore your energy sources Make a list of the actions and interactions that fill your physical and emotional energy deposit. Then, make a list of the things that drain your energy. This helps you make choices aligned with your passions and create sustainable habits – protecting your energy is essential to your well-being. 3. Reconnect with your hobbies Hobbies aren’t just things we do to fill time – they can help express your true self better and reveal aspects of yourself that may have been dormant. Consider trying a new activity every month to discover what resonates with you, or revisit anything you once used to loved but stopped doing. 4. Practice mindfulness Through mindfulness, you become more attuned to your thoughts and feelings, which helps cultivate a stronger sense of ownership and presence throughout your life. “Finding yourself is a journey of self-discovery, but it’s not like the typical journey where you go from A to B in a linear way. When it comes to inner work, we don’t always know what the destination is or what it will look like.” Incorporate as many as our mindfulness tips for staying engaged into your daily routine, from something as simple as mindful showering to something that require a bit more effort and thought on your behalf, such as mindful appreciation. 5. Reflect on your values Identifying your core values shows you what matters most to you and is essential to ensure your actions and decisions are a reflection of your true identity. This exercise is a personal favourite on how to find yourself through your values. 6. Archetype work Archetypes are universal characters (like the Hero, the Rebel, or the Caregiver) that represent parts of our psyche. Exploring which ones resonate with you through journaling, creative writing, or the PMAI assessment can help you understand your deeper drives in a powerful and symbolic way. MORE LIKE THIS: 'Why Do I Hate My Life?' 10 Ways To Start Loving It Again Discover the 10 Keys To Happier Living How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: 7 Techniques That Work 7. Dare to be uncomfortable Finding yourself isn’t just about theoretical exploration – it’s important to take aligned action, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. New experiences challenge you, offer fresh perspectives, and can lead to personal growth. 8. Embrace solitude Finding yourself can only happen when you make time and space for it, away from digital distractions and external influences. Moments of solitude are perfect to tune into your thoughts and feelings with greater clarity. How to find yourself again? Solitude can help you clarify feelings 9. Set personal goals Create a weekly or monthly action plan with specific goals that matter to you. For example, you could choose to experiment with new ways of practising a character strength, or ensure that every choice you make in the next 7 days reflects one of your core values. 10. Seek support Finding yourself doesn’t have to be a lonely journey. Mentors, coaches, and therapists can guide and support you with different tools and frameworks that can broaden your self-discovery journey. Journal prompts for self discovery To get you started in this journey, here are some self discovery questions that can help uncover more about your true self. Ask yourself them and keep a note of the answers in a journal and reflect on them. • If fear weren’t a factor, what choice would I make today? • What patterns keep repeating in my life — and what might they be trying to teach me? • When do I feel most alive and engaged? • What things I couldn’t live without? • What are my greatest strengths and how do I use them? • What fears are holding me back from pursuing my passions? • Who inspires me and why? • What does success look like to me? • What’s my biggest learning experience in life so far? • What part of myself have I silenced to fit in? • What legacy do I want to leave behind? Takeaway: finding yourself again The journey to finding yourself requires courage and patience, but it’s the path to a more meaningful life. While the journey may be challenging at times, the rewards – a clearer sense of identity, purpose, and fulfilment – are invaluable. As Carl Jung said, “who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes”. Remember that it's OK to feel lost in life while you explore how to find yourself. Just take it one step at the time, using the suggestions in this article to navigate the depths of your inner world. So why not start today, maybe with one of the self discovery questions above? ● Images: shutterstock/KieferPix, shutterstock/Daniel Hoz, PeopleImages - Yuri A happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Goal setting | Purpose of life | Healthy habits | Letting Go Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Feeling lost in life and not knowing what to do next can be paralyzing. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains how to embrace that 'I feel lost' panic we all get sometimes – and then how to move forward in 7 practical steps. ‘I feel lost in life'. Does this saying strike a chord? Have you ever muttered it to yourself in a moment of desperate reflection on the direction you're heading in? Feeling lost in life without the slightest idea where to go next can be daunting and help perpetuate stress. However, it's a common situation, one many of us have experienced (and will continue to experience) throughout our lives. Choosing a college, deciding on a career, or thinking about where to live are just some of the most common situations when you might feel frozen in this way. On the flip side, this feeling of being lost can also surface when you achieve some of your greatest goals and have no clue as what to do next! Indeed, when you undergo colossal life-changing experiences and become someone new, the old plans and ideals could stop resonating with you. So, even if you do discover what you want to do next in your life, at some point in the future this paralyzing fear may come back and set you adrift again. Let me show you what to do when you feel lost and how to draw a new map to creating a meaningful life. 7 steps for when you're feeling lost in life First, a disclosure. It wasn’t so long back that I myself was proclaiming 'I am lost!'. In fact, exactly nine years ago, I earned my degree, top of my class. I immediately got a job at a company and entered the 9 to 5 workforce. It was probably on only the second day that I had an epiphany about the meaninglessness of it all. I realised I was actually feeling lost with my life and decisions. In fact, I pretty much hated my life at that point. So, if you're experiencing a similar moment in your life and struggling to decide how to move on, here are seven steps you can take to make discovering your next move less stressful and more intuitive. 1. Put a stop on the search Do you hear the scary voice repeating how lost you are feeling in your head? Well, I know we're just getting started, but the first thing you need to do is actually put a stop to trying to figure out the answer. Although it may feel like an urgency, chances are, you need to take some time to pause first. Why? Feeling lost in life is a sign that you need to make changes Think of it as a creative problem-solving. It consists of four phases – preparation, incubation, illumination and verification. It’s safe to say that, if you don’t know what to do with your life, you hit an impasse in the process. It’s like trying to force yourself to write a best-selling novel: immediately! It just won’t work. Firstly, you need an intentional delay. Step away from the problem. The break will give your mind time and space for incubation to occur. Fill your time with activities such as walks, exercise, yoga, socialising with the right people, education and any other hobbies. Don’t worry. Your mind will be quietly working on the answer in the background. When we can’t resolve a problem, usually it’s because we’re fixated in our thinking. A break will allow for the habits, patterns and fixations to dissolve. What’s more, it will let the creativity flow in. 2. Prepare the terrain Once your mind has been given a chance to shift perspective, it’s time to go back to exploring the possibilities. However, you need to do it the right way. Make your internal and external environment ready for some soul-searching on why you're feeling lost in life. There is scientific proof for the age-old wisdom advising against making decisions on an empty stomach. A study from the University of Dundee determined that, if we are hungry, we are more likely to seek immediate gratification. The problem is that this tendency does not apply to food choices alone. Hunger negatively affects our financial and interpersonal decisions, too. “Make your internal and external environment ready for some soul-searching on why you're feeling lost in life. Be sure to do it after a good night’s rest and after a hearty, healthy meal.” The same goes for not being rested. Sleep deprivation has severe cognitive and neural consequences. Anyone who, for any reason, has been sleep-deprived, knows well the mind-fog it creates. It becomes impossible to think clearly and make coherent and considered decisions. And what about our environment? An interesting study determined that even lighting can affect the ability to solve problems. According to the findings, what you need is the kind of light that feels right to you. It’s up to you if you prefer ‘warm’ or ‘cool’, or dimmed or bright light. The trick is in making the light in the room elicit a positive mood. Your cognitive abilities will follow along. RELATED: Following Your Bliss: 5 Steps to Get Started What's the Point of Life? How to Find Meaning in Life: 7 Strategies So, when you're ready to explore why you're feeling lost in life, be sure to do it after a good night’s rest and after a hearty, healthy meal. Make your environment work for you. Prepare the terrain, go to a room where you feel good, fix the lighting, and get going. 3. Search deep within: meditate A problem as weighty as feeling lost in life requires going deep to find the solution. Meditation can help you get in touch with your most profound Self. The benefits of meditation have been confirmed over and over again. Indeed, a review of over 160 studies that met the strict criteria determined that meditation has positive effects on emotional and interpersonal issues and cognitive abilities. As little as four days of mindfulness training improved cognitive performance in another study. But how does this relate to you seeking out your future life path? Well, meditation can deliver the clarity of mind and emotion you need when figuring out your purpose in life. It can open the path to communicating with yourself, in a sense. 4. Remember what you used to love When you were a kid or teenager, chances are you never felt lost in life. You simply did whatever it was that you were doing. Yes, it was objectively much easier not to contemplate on what to do with your life: your parents took care of your needs, and you didn’t have anyone’s needs you should be taking care of. Then adult life happened. Nonetheless, there’s a wisdom in the young(er) you that could help you find your way now. Do you remember the state of losing yourself (in a good way)? It could have been reading a book, making art, solving logical or mathematical problems, learning something new, dancing, or exercising. Do you remember a cause for which you used to feel a fire burning inside of you? An idea that made you forget everything as long as you could work towards it? Explore what you really love doing and find your flow state What most probably happened to you in those times is called flow state, a phrase coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. His research concluded that the more ‘flow’ you have in your life, the more resilience, well-being, and fulfilment you will enjoy. So, what does this mean for you at this point? When you feel that your life is off track, a good place to start is to ask yourself: what is it that puts me in a state of ‘flow’? What is it that I used to love doing and believed in? Is there a way to rearrange my life and put such activities and causes at the forefront? 5. Brainstorm: and then limit your choices Once you’ve been through the previous four steps and opened up the search area, it’s time to narrow things down and list some concrete ideas. Do a brainstorming session with yourself. You can make a list, a vision board, a graph – whatever works. Your goal is to think of as many scenarios for yourself as possible. However – once you do, you will then begin to narrow down your choices. Kierkegaard spoke of ‘dizziness of freedom’, the bewildering anxiety we experience when facing the limitlessness of possibilities for ourselves and our lives. Indeed, in the world of empirical research, it has been found that there is such a thing as too many options. When you face ‘choice overload’, you might not be able to make the right call. “When you're feeling lost in life, write your own obituary. Stop and think about how you would most like to be remembered. Think of how want to live your life while you have it.” So, once you have thought of possible routes for yourself, try to sit with each option for some time. See if they still seem right after a while. You will want to eliminate most of them gradually. An exercise that might help you determine which options to keep is asking yourself “Why?” five times. That is, set a goal for yourself, such as a steady job, financial security, spiritual growth, family, health or well-being. Then, ask yourself why you want this. When you respond, repeat the question: why do you want that? After five rounds of ‘Why?’ you should be pretty close to your most profound motivation. Use it to plan and create the new life for yourself. Feeling lost in life? Brainstorm ideas, then narrow choices 6. Write your own obituary One of my favourite techniques for jolting oneself out of inertia when feeling lost in life and finding a way forward is rooted in existential-humanistic psychology. The task is pretty straightforward – write your own obituary. OK, it sounds morbid, and although you may feel some initial discomfort, it’s actually a rewarding and transformative exercise. According to the author of a recent study, the technique delivers a “greater sense of acceptance, appreciation, and awe toward the possibilities of living the life one envisions”. The logic behind the technique is simple. Even though we might not like it, we will eventually die. So, stop now and think about how you would most like to be remembered. Think of how you want to live your life while you still have it. You might be surprised by how your obituary would sound at the moment. And, most importantly, you will probably find out where you need to go next. “A problem as weighty as feeling lost in life requires going deep to find the solution. Meditation can help you get in touch with your most profound Self.” Allow me to express the weight of the ideas behind proposing this technique with a quote: “So, live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning 7. Practice acceptance and non-judgement Finally, once you have made your decision, you will need to be a good support for yourself. If you’re feeling lost in life, you're actually at a moment that will inevitably lead to a major change. And, changes often don’t come easy, even when they are for the better. Perhaps your change will mean investing time, money and a lot of effort before it can be realised. RELATED: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading Inner Turmoil: Understanding and Resolving It 7 Ways to Develop a Can-Do Attitude Therefore, prepare to go through the change with an attitude of acceptance and non-judgement. Embrace your decision, and all that comes with it. The ideal state to step into your new life is with plenty of self-love. Self-kindness prepares you to function and perform optimally and live a healthy and rewarding life. Takeaway: what to do when you feel lost You might remember my not-so-original experience about the realisation of how pointless my life was. In case you wondered how it turned out for me: here I am, doing what I love and with a great work life balance. When I was younger and used to talk about my dream career, I didn’t think it was actually possible. Yet, after going through the steps above, the path opened itself. In the meantime, I went through many other massive changes, internally and externally. And, I have another disclosure for you. To be honest, ’I feel lost' is a thought that has never fully left my side. Indeed, it has reappeared in many instances, professionally and personally. However, rather than let the feeling overwhelm me, I have learnt to see it as a nudge. It is a prod to keep questioning whether I'm living a worthy life, in peace with my values. In fact, I see it as a life saviour – life being defined as something that ought to have a point. When you realise that you are feeling lost or adrift, don’t succumb to anxiety. As scary as it may be, feeling this way is actually an insight that will send you on a path of never accepting purposelessness or inertness. So, embrace your inner voice and make these solid steps to discover your next journey! • Images: shuttertoskc/wolfstudiobkk, shutterstock/Rawpixel.com, shutterstock/theshots.co happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Coaching | Letting go | Motivation | Authenticity Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

How can you protect your energy? Sonia Vadlamani explores research-backed strategies to help navigate situations that leave you overwhelmed, stressed, or drained by negativity. In a world marked by global uncertainty, over-dependence on technology, and a constant stream of mobile app notifications, our mental reserves are being drained more rapidly than ever. Yet, while we instinctively protect our physical selves, many of us often overlook the importance of safeguarding our mental well-being. Indeed, we may believe that we have free agency over our choices, but research establishes that we only have a finite amount of mental energy or bandwidth. Known as ego depletion, this concept suggests that each decision or choice we make draws from a finite energy reserve. As this energy reserve dwindles, the quality of our choices and decisions can suffer. In the absence of conscious efforts to protect your energy reserve, you can experience poor decision-making, low productivity, stress, and eventually, burnout. Why protecting your energy is important Instances of energy burnout are at an all-time high. The Burnout Report 2025 reveals that 91% of UK adults reported feeling high or extreme levels of pressure or stress in the previous year. Meanwhile, 66% of American adults admit to experiencing burnout at work. Additionally, you may also feel the need to protect your energy while confronting so-called ‘energy vampires’ – needy friends, demanding colleagues, or emotionally draining instances that can leave you feeling exhausted or overwhelmed. Low battery? Time to start protecting your energy Protecting your energy helps you eliminate negativity and distraction from your life in a sustainable and intentional manner. Preserving your energy reserves also helps you pace yourself and avoid negative thoughts and stress, enabling you to focus on what’s more important. How to protect your energy: 7 ways to prevent energy drain So, we understand that knowing how to protect our energy is important, but how do we eliminate the stressors that leave us drained? Here are some science-backed ways to safeguard your mental bandwidth: 1. Practice emotional intelligence Researchers have long emphasized the vital connection between emotional intelligence and overall well-being. Thus, developing self-awareness is the first step toward learning to protect your energy. Make it a habit to check in with your emotions at regular intervals throughout the day. For example, if you notice signs of stress – like irritability or feeling unusually snappy – it may be ideal to slow down and recharge, perhaps with a spa day or a quiet nature walk. Similarly, experiencing a low mood or emotional numbness could indicate loneliness, and a cozy coffee date with a close friend could be the perfect remedy. 2. Set healthy boundaries Setting healthy boundaries is a fundamental aspect of protecting your energy. While it can feel uncomfortable – sometimes even rude – at first, establishing and communicating boundaries is a sign of emotional maturity. Whether it’s in friendships, romantic relationships, or at work, boundaries play a vital role across all areas of our lives. “Setting healthy boundaries is a fundamental aspect of protecting your energy. While it can feel uncomfortable, establishing and communicating boundaries is a sign of emotional maturity.” In addition to helping us maintain balance and enabling healthier relationships, research suggests that healthy boundaries also serve as a crucial tool for safeguarding our mental health. Indeed, setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away – it’s about protecting your peace so you can be your authentic self for the commitments and relationships that truly matter. Set boundaries and keep energy vampires at bay Nedra Glover Tawwab, mental health therapist and author of the bestselling book Set Boundaries, Find Peace, outlines three simple yet powerful steps to help you protect your energy through boundaries: Be self-aware Understand what works for you, be clear about your expectations – both from yourself and others – and what aligns with your values and comfort levels. The clarity attained from this reflection is key to establishing boundaries. Communicate openly Convey your needs and preferences clearly and directly, rather than dropping hints or making indirect references. Be assertive Express your boundaries respectfully and with confidence, asserting your needs and priorities as a form of self-care. Remember, setting boundaries may often bring up feelings of discomfort, shame, or guilt. When this happens, it’s important to accept these feelings and still move forward. Giving in to unhealthy patterns can cause resentment, burnout, or even emotional distress. 3. Say “no” more often Similarly, saying “no” can be awkward and difficult, and for people-pleasers, it can seem like a near-impossible task. However, doing so when your energy is low or your schedule is crammed is crucial for setting healthy boundaries. Saying no also helps prevent negative outcomes like resentment, regret, stress, or burnout. As a selective introvert, I remember struggling to decline invitations. I’d agree to attend parties, movies, music concerts, etc, just to avoid disappointing my friends. But then I'd return home drained, overstimulated, and with other telltale signs of an introvert hangover. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed Navigating Life: 10 Tips For Overcoming Obstacles How to Overcome Challenges and Move Forward Over time, and upon self-reflection, I learned that saying no isn’t an act of selfishness but self-care. Interestingly, my closest friends eventually learned to appreciate this shift, since they understood that I was more engaged and enthusiastic when I attended out of interest, not obligation. We often say “yes” to plans simply to avoid disappointing others, even though we’re stressed, busy, or already overburdened with responsibilities. Incidentally, researchers Julian Givi et al researched this specific aspect, with their study revealing that we often overestimate the potential negative outcomes of declining an invite for a social activity. The truth is that most inviters understand. The same applies for favours asked of you at work as well – if you’re at capacity, it’s OK to say no to additional tasks and stretch yourself too thinly. 4. Create a sanctuary Create a safe space in your home where you can truly unwind and recharge. Design areas for hobbies, crafts, and activities that help put your mind at ease. These safe spaces can be your simple yet effective answer to protecting your energy. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I find comfort in running a bath and reading or cooking a cozy meal for two from scratch. On the days my brain is scrambled with too many details coming from all quarters, I find that taking a short break to work on a jigsaw puzzle helps me reset my focus for the next task. “Tapping into the power of visualization can be the answer to how to protect your energy. It can help you create a ‘wall’ or mental barrier, allowing you to block negativity and manage your thoughts with intention.” Having a happy space to return to, especially after a stressful day at work or when you’re overstimulated, can help you recharge and gain a fresh perspective. Remember to declutter these spaces regularly to keep them truly restorative and free of visual chaos. Power low? Switch off and conserve your energy 5. Use visualization techniques Tapping into the power of visualization can be the answer to how to protect your energy as it can help you create a ‘wall’ or mental barrier, allowing you to block negativity and manage your thoughts with intention. Regular practice of visualization techniques can help you feel grounded and recharge yourself. Here are a couple of techniques you can try: Create your ‘happy’ place Sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and visualize a place where you feel happy and calm. This could be your favorite hiking trail – leaves rustling in the gentle breeze, sunlight filtering through the branches, its warmth caressing your skin like a hug. For me, a cherished memory is that of us playing with our beloved dog, Coffee, on the beach – sand beneath our feet, the mewing seagulls, Coffee fetching us small sticks and chasing crabs in sheer glee. Draw in as much sensory detail as possible. Focus on the joy this place brings you. Take deep breaths as you let the positivity fill your heart for a full minute. The cloak of protection Imagine wrapping yourself in a protective cloak made of white light, designed specifically to keep negativity at bay. Start at your feet and gradually work upward, picturing this light covering you in a soft, comforting shield. Finally pull the hood over your head, and as you’re cocooned in this cloak, notice the sensory details – the warmth, its softness on your skin, and its reassuring weight. Stay with this image for as long as you need to start the day with a renewed sense of strength. 6. Replenish yourself in nature The benefits of spending time in nature for our overall well-being are well-documented. Yet, according to a 2018 Nielsen Total Audience Report, most Americans spend nearly 11 hours per day in front of their screens. This growing reliance on technology often leaves us with very little time to step outdoors and connect with nature. Whether it’s a short walk in the park or a weekend hike in the wilderness, spending time in nature can significantly reduce stress, ease anxiety, and help us protect our energy more effectively. “Learning how to protect your energy isn’t about placing crystals on your nightstand – it pertains to redirecting your focus intentionally toward what’s more important.” Interestingly, nurturing something into life can also foster a sense of self-care and well-being. Therefore, projects like kitchen gardening are a great way to connect with nature, as well as reap benefits like better life satisfaction and improved physical and mental health. Recharge your batteries in nature 7. Breathing and meditation Breathing may be the most natural thing we do, but deliberate control of breathwork – like slow and mindful breathing techniques, for instance – can be a powerful tool for stress management and healing. Conscious breathing – or intentionally focusing on your breath – has been shown to have therapeutic benefits for our mental health. Practicing breathwork can help you manage stress and protect your energy in a more effective manner. RELATED: Uncover the Healing Power of the Breath Meditation is another simple yet powerful technique to reconnect with a compassionate, peaceful space within yourself. Try the loving-kindness meditation technique using visualization: start by directing warmth and positive affirmations for yourself, then gradually extend them to others – loved ones, acquaintances, and even the difficult people around you. Regular practice can help foster empathy, enabling you to stay centered in positive energy. Takeaway: protect your energy Learning how to protect your energy isn’t necessarily about chasing good vibes or placing crystals on your nightstand – it pertains to redirecting your focus intentionally toward what’s more important. Self-awareness is the first step toward protecting your energy. Tuning into your emotions and recognizing tell-tale signs of stress, regret, or mental exhaustion can help prevent your energy from being depleted. Once you identify what you’re feeling, you can respond with intention and choose the most effective form of self-care to restore your balance and recharge your energy. ● Images: shutterstock/Alphavector, shutterstock/HannaStudio, shutterstock/Rido, shutterstock/Krakenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Motivation | Positive psychology | Volunteering Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Feeling bloated interferes with daily activities and affects your mood. Dee Marques recommends the best teas that help with bloating and gas so you feel better – fast. Digestive disorders have been on the rise for a long time. Indeed, it’s estimated that up to 15 per cent of the world’s population suffers from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), and a growing number of us are affected by food intolerances and allergies. These conditions have many symptoms in common, and bloating is one of them. Luckily, something as simple as drinking a herbal teas can help you debloat and help digestion. But before looking at the best teas for bloating and gas, let's take a look at some of the possible causes of such these common digestive issues. Of course, a bloated stomach isn’t always a symptom of disease, but it’s still uncomfortable and can affect our mood and interfere with everyday activities. In fact, researchers have found that the quality of life in people with digestive conditions is similar to people with clinical depression. Nature's way: drinking herbal teas can relieve bloating and gas There are different things that cause digestive discomfort, including: Functional problems, like constipation, indigestion, IBS or stomach ulcers. Harmful habits like eating too fast, not chewing food properly, smoking, or excessive consumption of refined sugars (fizzy drinks, sweets, etc.). Hormonal fluctuation caused by menopause, pregnancy, PMS, or thyroid imbalances. Emotional distress, stress, depression or anxiety. Because the digestive system is controlled by the nervous system, any spike in stress or anxiety triggers the release of stress hormones. The gut-brain connection is now well documented. The digestive system is home to more than 100 million nerve endings, which is why some call the gut “our second brain” and is also why negative emotional states can trigger digestive complaints, including bloating. “Herbal teas have been used for centuries to boost digestive health and alleviate digestive complaints.” If bloating and gas are caused by a functional problem, you’ll need help from a healthcare professional and simple lifestyle changes can help if bloating is due to bad habits or to stress. In most cases, you’ll also benefit from a tried-and-tested way of relieving gas and bloating: herbal teas. In fact, herbal teas have been used for centuries to boost digestive health and alleviate digestive complaints, and they’re a common remedy in traditional and alternative medicine. Let's look at the most gut-friendly herbal teas, which you can experiment with to find the best tea to debloat and eliminate gas. Best teas for bloating and gas: 8 infusions to try Sick of regularly feeling bloated and uncomfortable? The eight teas below help with digestion can help you debloat fast. Stock up your kitchen cupboard and find out which one works best for you. 1. Ginger Ginger contains enzymes that keep fluids and food moving along the digestive system. Studies show that it increases stomach emptying too. As someone who has struggled with bloating for years, I find myself reaching for fresh ginger root every time I feel the bloat. What tea helps with digestion? Ginger is a winner! In fact, for me, ginger tea truly is the most effective debloat tea as it always seems to sooth my swollen stomach. However, ginger may not suitable for people whose bloating is caused by stomach ulcers, so bear that in mind. 2. Peppermint Ranking high in our list of best teas for bloating and gas is peppermint, one of the most widely available herbal teas. Peppermint has anti-spasmodic properties, so it’s useful to soothe bloating due to cramping. In fact, a 2011 study found certain compounds in this plant (such as menthol) can generate a pain relief response in the gut and are useful for IBS-related bloating. However, peppermint isn’t recommended if you suffer from acid reflux or indigestion. MORE LIKE THIS: The 15 Best Prebiotics to Include in Your Diet Fasting And Autophagy How to Heal Your Gut: 7 Ideas to Restore Belly Health 3. Liquorice Liquorice is used in traditional Chinese medicine as a remedy against stomach ulcers, gas and inflammation, and also to strengthen the digestive system. Furthermore, this root has a long history of health applications dating back to ancient Egypt. Liquorice root is very high in flavonoids, which are known to have anti-inflammatory properties. It’s also rich in triterpenes, compounds which have been found to be anti-viral that help if bloating is due to food poisoning. Furthermore, liquorice has a mild diuretic effect, which is beneficial if bloating is caused by water retention. 4. Chamomile Next in this list of the best teas that help with bloating is chamomile, which is well-known for its medicinal value. Chamomile tea is safe for most digestive conditions and has an anti-inflammatory and anti-spasmodic effect, as it can lower stomach acidity. “Ranking high in the list of best teas for bloating is peppermint. This herbal tea has anti-spasmodic properties, so it’s useful to soothe bloating due to cramping.” What’s more, chamomile is a natural sleep aid and several studies confirm its calming and de-stressing effect. If you find chamomile a bit bland, you can mix it with the other debloat teas on this list – such as peppermint – or add some honey to sweeten. 5. Fennel Fennel is one of the lesser-known herbal teas for bloating. Fennel seeds have an anti-inflammatory effect due to their high anethole content. This compound is also found in anise and lab studies found it can block the body’s inflammatory response. Moreover, fennel is high in fibre, so it encourages bowel function and is a great choice if your digestion is sluggish. Chamomile is another effective debloat tea 6. Hibiscus Beautiful hibiscus flowers aren’t just pretty. Hibiscus has a balancing effect on aldosterone, which is the hormone responsible for keeping the kidneys efficiently processing water and salts and for keeping electrolytes in check. It's definitely the best tea for bloating if you struggle with water retention! This flower is packed with Vitamin C and antioxidants that can strengthen the gut’s function, and studies confirm it can inhibit E.coli, a bacteria that causes gas and bloating. 7. Turmeric Turmeric has been used in Ayurvedic medicine to treat digestive complaints for thousands of years, and is another clear debloat tea option in my books. Turmeric root contains curcumin, which stimulates gallbladder function so that the stomach can break foods down. “Turmeric has been used in Ayurvedic medicine to treat digestive complaints for thousands of years, and is another clear debloat tea option.” Furthermore, studies show that curcumin likes to stay in the digestive system for up to 30 minutes, and other research shows that it has beneficial effects in people affected by colitis. You can drink it on its own or mix it with other warming spices, like cardamom, star anise, and cloves, to make your own version of masala chai tea. 8. Lemon balm Like liquorice, lemon balm is high in triterpenes and has a refreshing flavour. The European Medicine Agency has confirmed its value in helping relieve gas, bloating and slow digestion. In traditional Iranian medicine, lemon balm is considered the best tea for bloating due to its high anti-oxidant content, which can reinforce digestive health. Takeaway: best tea for gas and bloating Nature really is your best ally when it comes to beating bloating and gas. The herbal teas and infusions listed here can help soothe the digestive system and strengthen its function so that you’re less prone to episodes of bloating, especially if you commit to a healthy diet and develop positive lifestyle habits. So, what’s the best tea for bloating and gas in your experience? Share what works well for you in the comments below! • Images: shutterstock/Alex Yuzhakov, shutterstock/dikis, shutterstock/Yakobchuk Viacheslav happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Healthy habits | Herbalism | Vegetarianism | Gut health Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Can 12 ideas be described as constituting pillars of well-being? Ed Gould examines the ideas of leading psychologist Rick Hanson that can help you optimize your happiness. An expert in his field and creator of the 12 pillars of well-being, Rick Hanson is the author of several books on happiness and well-being. In Hardwiring Happiness, for example, the eminent psychologist discusses how recent scientific studies have led to a greater understanding of the correlations between neural structures and mental well-being. A senior fellow of the Greater Good Science Centre at University College Berkeley, Hanson's scientific ideas have featured in many news features around the world, such as with the BBC and CBS. He has spoken at Oxford, Stanford and Harvard universities, to name but a few. Gratitude: one of the 12 pillars of well-being However, Rick Hanson is probably best known as the founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, an institution that is centred on his idea of the 12 pillars of well-being. Along with his other best-selling publications, Just One Thing, Buddha's Brain and Mother Nature, Hanson produces a free newsletter that has over 100,000 subscribers. Throughout his published work and regular newsletters, Hanson's extensive career has been leading many to the 12 pillars of well-being concept. What are the 12 pillars of well-being? What is it that Rick Hanson can teach us about happiness and contentment and how do the 12 pillars of well-being help us to achieve them? Let's examine Rick Hanson's concept in the first place. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } “Hanson's 12 pillars of well-being are designed to create a simple path that will enable you to grow a dozen strengths needed for better well-being.” The first thing to note about the Rick Hanson model of well-being is that it is two-dimensional. This is not to say that it has no depth, rather that you can imagine the 12 pillars of well-being laid out on a grid. Across the top of the grid are the names of the “Four R's” which constitute the grid's four columns. According to Hanson, these represent the mainstays of well-being: Recognising Resourcing Regulating Relating Running horizontally are three core needs we all have: Safety Satisfaction Connection From either the core needs or from the category of well-being, it's then possible to get to each of the 12 pillars. For example, where Resourcing coincides with Connection, the pillar is named as “Confidence”. Alternatively, where Regulating and Safety intersect, the pillar would be “Calm”. Because the 12 pillars of well-being are arranged, or, more accurately, can be thought of in this way, it's possible to truly understand which each one represents. “Mindfulness” and “Motivation” are both pillars that connect to the core need of Satisfaction, for example. The 12 Pillars of Well-Being: Dr Rick Hanson How to use the 12 pillars of well-being Hanson's 12 pillar concept is designed to create a simple path that will enable you to grow a dozen strengths needed for better well-being. However, they are not simply healthy habits to get into or new ways of thinking about the world. The pillars are designed to make alterations inside your brain so that you can get the most out of your life. Primarily, Hanson is using the well-known medical phenomenon of neuroplasticity within each of our brains to reorganize neural networks. He's showing us how this can be done for improved mental and lifestyle outcomes. Much as someone who has suffered a brain injury will learn how to perform certain tasks using other parts of their cortex, so the 12 pillars of well-being can help us to rewire our brains for beneficial effects. How does this work? .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } “Hanson's pillars of happiness remind us that our neural networks need rewiring from several different angles at once to achieve a true equilibrium.” You may already work on your self-development in particular ways. For example, you may have embarked on a programme of self-compassion by reaffirming positive things about yourself each day. Under Hanson's 12 pillar model, you are “Recognising” the core need of “Safety” by being self-caring in this way. Every time you go through a ritual of self-caring or take the time to compliment yourself, then you're reinforcing a neural structure at a physical level within the brain. Equally, if you're working on scientifically-proven techniques to improve confidence, such as working on your support network more regularly, then Hanson's model would ascribe this to “Resourcing” your core need for “Connection”. However, these are just individual examples of rewiring neural networks. The point is that having the 12 pillars of well-being in place will help to make sure that you're not missing out on any single element. Love yourself: self-care is one of the pillars of happiness All too often, we identify a need for our inner well-being and focus on that. Although this is perfectly understandable and very human behaviour, it's not always the best route to overall mental well-being. Hanson's pillars of happiness remind us that our neural networks need rewiring from several different angles at once to achieve a true equilibrium. Indeed, he points out that 12 essential elements, or pillars, lie at the heart of improving ourselves, not just one or two. Think of it regarding an athlete training for a competition. In this analogy, if they only work on one or two muscle groups, then they may find improved physical performance in some areas. However, if they neglect the other parts of their body, then they could find themselves going backwards in others. RELATED: The Attitude of Gratitude: 6 Ways it Can Change Your Life 7 Mindfulness Tips For Staying Engaged Top 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice This is what Hanson is teaching us with the brain's need for 12 pillars to be fed at once, from mindfulness to gratitude, and from vitality to learning. As long as we work on each of our three core needs across the four mainstays of well-being, then each of the 12 pillars will contribute to a rewired brain that truly sets us on the path to greater enlightenment and better mental well-being. Each pillar has a role to play What's more, Hanson's 12 pillars of well-being gives us a good idea of how to work on each pillar. As just one example, if we look at the fifth pillar, gratitude, Hanson describes what needs to be done to heighten behaviours that relate to gratitude. He shows us how to take pleasure by releasing inhibitions and focusing on all of our sensory experiences, not just on one or two. Furthermore, under the fifth pillar, he teaches how to take pleasure from every day, even mundane, things. Watch: The 12 Pillars of Well-Being with Dr Rick Hanson Similar advice can be found for each pillar, such as developing a sense of 'unilateral virtue' and 'speaking from the heart' under the tenth pillar of courage. Taken together – and not in isolation from one another – each pillar offers a step on a wider path. Like all journeys, each step forward marks progress but, crucially, will also lead to physical changes in our brains, as well. More information on each of the 12 pillars of well-being and some great instructional videos can be found at the Foundations of Well-Being. ● Images: Colourbox.com, shutterstock/Julia Savalishina Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's a practitioner of Reiki.

With record rates of depression, we need to ask: 'what is the key to happiness?'. From lifelong learning to community, Sonia Vadlamani explores how to cultivate a life of joy with our 10 keys to happiness. Spoiler alert: materialism isn't on the list. It's often difficult for us to always feel happy and joyful, be it because of the unrealistic standards of beauty and perfection we impose on ourselves, or the negativity we surround ourselves with. It can be due to the fear of failure embedded deep within our subconscious, or our inability to form friendships and meaningful communities as we grow older. Indeed, there are many unhelpful habits or tendencies we ingrain in ourselves that can make us miserable and unhappy in life. Thankfully, researchers maintain that it’s possible to intervene and cultivate happiness through will and a proper framework. And – by following the 10 keys to happiness outlined below – you could train yourself to maximize your potential for a lifetime full of joy and contentment. Of course, happiness is subjective: it means different things to different people. The interesting news, however, is that our happiness levels are not set in stone. In her ground-breaking book The How of Happiness, researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky points out that while 50 per cent of our happiness is predetermined by our genetic makeup and personality traits, and 10 per cent is determined by our circumstances and life experiences, as much as 40 per cent of our happiness can be chosen wilfully by us, and depends largely on our daily actions. What's the tea when it comes to finding happiness? So, while we cannot change our genes or predict the future, science says that a significant portion of our happiness can be controlled by us. Unfortunately, our pursuit of happiness – as a society and on an individual level – is often misguided, with many people focused on materialism. Psychologist Barry Schwartz addresses this erroneous pursuit of happiness in his book The Paradox of Choice, wherein he points out that the plethora of choices we have available today due to a surge in consumerism often do us more harm than good, resulting in both anxiety and depression. The key to happiness: 10 steps “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions,” articulates the Dalai Lama, who is also the patron of the charity Action for Happiness. While everyone’s idea of happiness may be different, Action for Happiness has identified 10 keys to happiness, or practices that can consistently lead to a more fulfilling and happier life. While the first five keys to happiness refer to our interactions with the outside world, the latter five keys to happiness describe the traits that originate within us and are determined by our attitude towards life. Outside world: daily activities 1. Take care of your body There is an overwhelming amount of research that deems exercise a vital key to happiness and well-being. Indeed, a Yale study conducted on over 1.2 million Americans concluded that exercise is more important for our mental health than money. You need not run a marathon to be healthy and happy – opt for an activity of your preference that suits your health goals and lifestyle. Indulge in mindful running, unplug from technology with periodic forest bathing, or simply swap escalator commutes with stairs. “Make learning a habit. Research shows that people who work on learning a new skill or honing an existing one experience greater happiness consistently.” Eating right can contribute towards better health and happiness too. A balanced diet consisting of whole grains, fresh vegetables and fruit, lean poultry and healthy fats can help you achieve your health goals faster. Opt for foods which promote gut health instead of processed or junk food options for improved mood, better metabolism, and to keep disease at bay. Keeping fit is a crucial key to happiness 2. Practise mindfulness “We’re happiest when we focus on the present moment, and the least happy when the mind is wandering,” says researcher Matt Killingsworth. Mindfulness refers to being in a state of awareness and taking notice of the present intentionally and with complete acceptance. Studies show that practising mindfulness can help manage stress levels, in addition to activating the areas of our brains related to feeling good. RELATED: 7 Mindfulness Tips For Staying Engaged Mindful Behavior: 13 Practical Mindfulness Tools Mindfulness Vs Meditation: What's the Difference? Mindfulness can be developed using simple measures – start by paying attention to your feelings and thoughts as frequently throughout the day as possible. Meditation, mindful minute practices, and gratitude journaling can help in expanding awareness as well. 3. Indulge in acts of kindness Random acts of kindness are not just beneficial for others – in fact, caring for others’ happiness activates the areas linked to trust, enjoyment and social connection in our brains as well. An experiment involving seven-day kindness activities concluded that kindness is a vital key to happiness, whether extended to people who are close to you, complete strangers, or even yourself! Doing things for others can help alleviate social anxiety, improve your mood and prevent illness, thus enabling you to lead a healthy, meaningful life. 4. Make learning a habit Research by Journal of Happiness Studies revealed that people who work on learning a new skill or honing an existing one tend to experience greater happiness consistently. Interestingly, learning something new can be stressful and lower your happiness levels momentarily. However, the joy of acquiring or mastering a new skill can fulfil your need for autonomy or being self-directed, thus rewarding you with long-term happiness. “Exercise a vital key to happiness and well-being. A Yale study concluded that exercise is more important for our mental health than money.” Indeed, it’s important to find a suitable skill to master, or the right challenge to undertake that’ll allow you to push beyond your comfort zone yet enable you to find your flow state. Researchers also found that skills chosen by you offer better results in terms of improved self-esteem and a heightened sense of connection or ‘oneness’ with others. 5. Make meaningful connections Human beings are social animals, and hence it’s hardly surprising when researchers found that forming meaningful connections and embracing community is one of the core values we associate with happiness. Indeed, the importance of a community as a key to happiness cannot be underestimated. In addition to safety and support, we also derive a much-needed sense of togetherness and belonging when we find others who have the same values and interests as us. Meaningful friendships are essential for well-being Scientists agree that interacting with strangers, thus bolstering our ‘weak social ties’ also impacts our well-being positively. Take some time to connect with those who serve you coffee, your cab driver, or a friendly face you encounter during your daily strolls. Gestures like passing a casual compliment, wishing someone a good day, or chatting with an elderly neighbour over a cuppa can make a world of difference to someone who’s been feeling down or struggling with loneliness. Inside world: Developing the right attitude 6. Be at ease with who you are Self-acceptance forms an important cornerstone for our mental health and well-being, yet it’s a routine that we tend to practice the least, as revealed in a survey conducted by Action For Happiness. While acceptance was rated as the strongest predictor of life satisfaction and happiness amidst all the other traits and habits, only 5% of the respondents admitted to being kind to themselves and believed that they were perfect the way they were. RELATED: 12 Ways to Practise Self-Acceptance How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: 7 Techniques That Work Perfectionism and Anxiety: 7 Ways to Cope Practising acceptance as a habit can be difficult at first, but it’s possible to be good to yourself by shifting your perspective. Indeed, embracing imperfections as your unique traits and acknowledging your strengths – however insignificant they seem – can be a crucial key to happiness. 7. Set vital goals Happiness doesn’t always happen spontaneously – it requires planning and action towards pursuing things that matter to you. Goal setting is an important key to happiness, since it forms the outline for the life you envision for yourself. It’s important to set goals to look forward to – not only can proactive goal setting ensure fulfilment of your life ambitions and vision, following an actionable plan and achieving timebound targets using SMART goal setting can boost self-confidence and eliminate stress and anxiety. 8. Develop resilience All of us will face hardship, loss and trauma along our life jounrey, and since our brains are wired for negativity bias, we tend to remember the adverse events in our lives compared to the positive experiences. However, by changing our perspective and looking at hardships as stepping stones towards personal growth and success, we can learn to take back power every time we feel defeated by life. Indeed, building resilience can boost positive thinking, strengthen connections, and improve stress management skills. “Community as a key to happiness cannot be underestimated. As well as safety and support, we also get a much-needed sense of togetherness and belonging.” In fact, researcher Dr Ann Masten describes resilience as ‘ordinary magic’ derived from everyday situations and resources, that helps us adapt better during hardships. There is surmounting scientific evidence that developing resilience as a life skill and finding ways to bounce back from adversities can contribute immensely to our well-being and happiness 9. Cultivate a positive outlook “Just as water lilies retract when sunlight fades, so do our minds when positivity fades,” states researcher Barbara Fredrickson in her book Positivity. Indeed, research suggests that experiencing ‘upward spirals of positive emotions’ like gratitude, joy, interest etc. more often allows us to counteract the downward spirals of negative emotions like stress, jealousy, etc. Gratitude journaling, smiling more often, finding ways to incorporate awe into your life are some easy ways to boost positivity. Lifelong learning is another key to a happy life 10. Find meaning in your life Feeling connected to something larger than ourselves or possessing a sense of purpose in life is linked with greater life satisfaction, improved self-esteem, lasting relationships, and a more optimistic attitude. Leading a meaningful life could seem like a complicated process, but you can begin by prioritizing activities that bring you joy and a sense of purpose such as volunteering or trying to make a difference in others’ lives. RELATED: Happiness Is A Choice: 8 Ways To Choose It Today The key to happiness here is to understand where your calling lies and set out to follow your bliss. ‘Life Crafting’, or the process of reflecting on your strengths and interests, and aligning them with your vision, passion and desires, can be used as the framework for setting goals conducive to the meaningful life you wish to lead. The takeaway: what is the key to happiness? “It is work to be happy,” says psychologist Barry Schwartz. Indeed, there’s more to happiness than feeling good about pleasurable things, but the good news is that it can be cultivated by consistently encouraging the 10 keys to happiness or happy habits listed above into our lives. Instead of trying to implement all the keys to happiness at once, try reflecting on what each individual key means for you, and devise ways to implement them using simple action plan, to be able to lead a rewarding and happier life. ● Images: shutterstock/santypan, shutterstock/Lordn, shutterstock/Ground Picture, shutterstock/UrbanScape happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Motivation | Positive psychology | Lemonading | Internal Conflict Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

As hate speech and intolerance becomes increasingly common – both online and in the 'real' world – having the moral courage to confront it is more necessary than ever. Ed Gould suggests five ways to prepare yourself to stand up against hate in our increasingly polarised world. Do you have the feeling that hate is on the rise around the world? If you look at the number of cases of hate speech and crimes being reported, you may well be right. In the face of this unpleasant change in the political landscape, it's essential not to get caught up in hate and embrace positivity and happiness. But how do you take action without hating the haters or lowering yourself to their level of vitriol? Furthermore, how do you do so without putting yourself and your loved ones in danger? Finding and showing so-called moral courage is one possible answer. What is moral courage? Moral courage involves exhibiting the courage to stand up, take action and be heard for reasons of morality – despite the risk of potentially adverse consequences. Situations which may involve you having to show moral courage are usually challenging and tense. Stop hate: do you have the moral courage to speak out? Fortunately, there are several lessons to be learned from history about standing up to hatred and the people that manipulate negativity for their own ends. Let's examine some of the key techniques you can use to help garner the sort of moral courage required – while ensuring that you don't put yourself at risk at the same time. Preparing to show moral courage Many people are surprised when they first hear hate speech live and direct in the 'real' world (rather than on social media). They're usually not used to it and it can often cause well-meaning people to clam up in shock. Equally, if you're a witness to abuse or crime in the street, you may also understandably freeze in the horror of the moment. In order to overcome this normal human response, it's necessary to prepare yourself. Being mindful of all kinds of potential threats helps you to respond appropriately and support people in danger. This applies to hate speech and crime, too. By recognizing hatred for what it is, it becomes much easier to call it out. “Speaking up against hate crime is about challenging it from becoming the norm. If you say or do nothing, you will probably feel bad about it afterwards.” Having the moral courage to stand up against hatred is frequently down to nothing more than having prepared and rehearsed in your own mind what you would say or do if you happened to face it. So you can prepare by thinking ahead about what you might say in response to common scenarios, such as a racist comment made by a stranger or a derogatory, sexist term used by a colleague in the workplace. Roleplay different scenarios in your head and imagine how you would use your moral courage to engage in conversation. How moral courage benefits you and society Having the moral courage to speak up against hate crime/speech is about challenging such behaviour to stop it from becoming the norm. If you witness something that you feel is wrong and say or do nothing, you will probably feel bad about it afterwards. Staying silent also means that others are less likely to find moral fortitude in themselves, too. Ultimately, this creates an atmosphere in society where hatred becomes normalised. In such environments, hate speech and crime only tend to get worse. In the end, we all suffer from tolerating it in this way. Would you have the moral courage to intervene in a physical attack? On the other hand, having the moral courage to confront hatred when it rears its ugly head means that the perpetrators of it will think twice before saying and doing such things again. Furthermore, displaying moral courage encourages others to follow your actions. Bystanders are more likely to join in and show their own moral courage if they see someone else practising it – creating a sort of 'strength in numbers' feeling. Every action taken against hate or abuse – no matter how small it may seem at the time – is a victory for a fair, inclusive and decent society. 5 ways to develop your moral courage Feeling inspired? Want to be prepared for tough situations that require moral courage? Here are five steps you can take: 1. Learn about intervention training Protecting someone who's experiencing a hate crime may require you to intervene directly on their behalf. There are a number of courses and workshops that teach people how to be effective as a bystander and to make safe interventions. In the UK, the University of the West of England have been in the forefront of such training. MORE LIKE THIS: Six Tips For Speaking Up Against Bad Behaviour The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits The Power of Kindness: the Ripple Effect of Being Nice Meanwhile, in the US, courses like Green Dot have led to a greater number of positive interventions that stand up to hate. Wherever you are in the world, consider trying out a course in intervention training. And if you can't find one near you, try an online class. 2. Lead and others will follow There's little doubt that many people who tolerate hate speech would prefer for someone to call it out – perhaps they just lack the moral courage to do it for themselves. After all, in an increasingly violent world, standing up to hateful people can often put you in a precarious – even potentially lethal – situation. In any group situation, including social media, it's a well-established psychological concept that people 'fall into line' within groups. For example, if you speak up against a racist or xenophobic comment then others will probably back you up. Research from New York University has shown that people who use racist terms on social media refrain from doing it so often if someone in their circle stands up to them about it. Peace by piece: showing moral courage encourages others to do the same 3. Raise your profile Sometimes being an intervener against hate speech means going against the grain. It means feeling the pressure of a peer group and not to act. Train yourself to feel this natural anxiety and act in defiance of it anyway. “Having the moral courage to confront hatred when it rears its ugly head means the perpetrators will think twice before saying and doing such things again.” To do so, it's a good idea to stand out from the crowd every now and then. Do so when it's safe. It will leave you better equipped to handle hatred when it turns up for real. Psychologist Lynne Henderson refers to this sort of preparation as social fitness. Her research suggests that practice and roleplay helps you to draw on moral courage when you need it. 4. Seek help There's always a balance to be sought between rushing into an intervention and putting yourself in the firing line. According to Philip Zimbardo, psychologist and the founder of the Heroic Imagination Project, when a situation is potentially dangerous, calling the police or others nearby to help you do the right thing is the best course of action. “You can only be an effective social change agent if you understand when to act alone, as a member of a team, or not at all,” he says. 5. Take a second to really think Studies undertaken at Princeton University showed that people who were in a hurry were far less likely to stop and assist a stranger in distress. Furthermore, when several people witness a dire situation, each observer is less likely to help. This is called the 'bystander effect' in psychology. When you stop and think about it, you'll soon remind yourself that it's a normal human tendency to assume someone else will act. That simple pause for thought will allow you to overcome the 'bystander effect' and make the decision to be the one who acts. The takeaway: what is moral courage? None of us possess unlimited amounts of moral courage, just as none of us have unlimited happiness. After all, we can all be cowed in certain situations. Nonetheless, self-preparation makes it more likely that you will respond to hatred in a way that successfully challenges it. This can help to make society less tolerant of it. Once you have built some confidence and learned some techniques that match your personal values, you will find it easier to put them into action again and again. ● Images: shutterstock/CHAjAMP, shutterstock/PhotodriveStudio, pexels/Anastasiya Lobanovskaya Have you ever witnessed a hate crime or another disturbing situation and used your moral courage to stand up for what you believe is right? The community would love to hear your story in the comments below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Assertiveness | Mediation | Empathy Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He is a practitioner of Reiki.

We all understand the classic adage 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,' but have you heard of the newly-coined expression 'lemonading'? Sonia Vadlamani explores how lemonading – or adopting playfulness – can help you navigate life's uncertainties with greater ease. Life is full of uncertainties. And – as most of us have realized by now – no one can predict the outcome of the challenges that arise. We’ve all heard the saying 'when life gives you lemons make lemonade', but what if our minds don’t instinctively choose an outlook based on positive reframing? The good news is that we can consciously choose to adopt so-called 'lemonading' as a mindset. So, what is lemonading? Coined by researchers at Oregon State University, the term 'lemonading' refers to the ability to see the positive side when life presents you with metaphorical ‘lemons,’ thereby making it easier to navigate the obstacles. The central idea is that those with a more 'playful' outlook on life or the ability to shift their perspectives during uncertainty tend to be more resilient and find solutions with greater ease. Led by Dr Xiangyou Shen, the 2021 study analyzed how people coped with the COVID-19 pandemic, exploring how one’s perception of limitations and disruptions affected their ability to adapt to tough times. The research revealed that individuals who were more playful maintained a positive outlook on an uncertain future while staying realistic towards the limitations of the present. This ability to “creatively imagine and pursue positive possibilities to cultivate adaptive, enjoyable experiences while maintaining a clear-eyed realism about challenges” – lemonading – can help individuals thrive and find happiness, even amid chaos. How does lemonading work? It’s important not to confuse lemonading with toxic positivity. While toxic positivity dismisses setbacks and challenges, lemonading embraces the presence of hardships, allowing room for difficult emotions like sadness, disappointment and fear, while actively seeking ways to combat the situation. It’s about using your strength, determination, and creative problem-solving skills, rather than pretending everything is fine. Playfulness is an integral part of lemonading Instead of downplaying difficulties, lemonading encourages you to shift your perspective to ask yourself, “What resources do I have to work through this situation?” or “How can I approach this challenge in a creative way?". In principle, lemonading acknowledges that life gets tough sometimes – but when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. In other words, you make the best use of your resources. How to practise lemonading Lemonading may come more easily to some, but anyone can learn to turn life’s “lemons” into something better with a shift in perspective and a touch of playfulness. Here are some ways to develop the art of lemonading: 1. Cultivate an adaptable mindset When life gives you lemons, it’s natural to fall into a detrimental cycle of repetitive and intrusive thinking. Obsessive thoughts and rumination can take a toll on both mental and physical health, contributing to conditions like anxiety, OCD-related disorders, and even impaired decision-making ability. Indeed, you can navigate life more easily by training your mind to find the silver lining. “Instead of downplaying difficulties, lemonading encourages you to shift your perspective and ask, 'what resources do I have to work through this situation?'” Rather than dwelling on setbacks, make a conscious effort to shift your focus toward possibilities and opportunities in any scenario. This reframing technique is at the heart of lemonading – it not only allows you to feel stress-free faster but also encourages proactive problem-solving instead of remaining stuck in negativity. 2. Practise gratitude Gratitude is a powerful resource for lemonading, given that the human brain is wired toward negativity. Research shows that cultivating an attitude of gratitude can foster positive emotions and enhance our ability to cope with difficult situations. Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus to what’s going well in your life, while gratitude meditation is a great way to acknowledge your blessings. Setting aside a few minutes each day to reflect in silence on the things that bring you joy is a simple yet effective way to reframe your perspective. 3. Create your go-to set of positive affirmations Positive affirmations are statements that can help you navigate uncertainties and challenges with a more optimistic attitude. According to researchers at the University of Pennsylvania, practising self-affirmations can help rewire the brain’s perception of self-worth, leading to positive behavioural changes. RELATED: 23 Gratitude Affirmations For Attracting Happiness Affirmations can feel uncomfortable at first, so try speaking to yourself in the third person, like a supportive mentor or teacher would. For example, try saying something like, “Hey, you’ve got this!” or “You know this only seems harder in your mind than it actually is.” 4. Find the fun in everyday moments Laughing is easy when life is going well, but finding humour in difficult situations is much harder. However, embracing humour during difficult times may just be what you need for lemonading like a champ. According to the relief theory by Martin and Ford, humour acts like a relief valve, much like a steam pipe pressure valve in a hydraulic engine, allowing release for any built-up tension through laughter. Another study by Yale psychologist Oriana Aragon suggests that laughter strengthens resilience by helping us regulate our emotions in the face of challenge, aligning perfectly with the essence of lemonading. When life gives you lemons, embrace humour! 5. Switch things up occasionally While routines provide stability and structure to our day, shaking things up occasionally helps break monotony and spark creativity. This doesn’t mean abandoning your schedule entirely but rather making small, intentional changes – introducing something new while maintaining your overall rhythm. The concept of lemonading is centred around the idea that it’s OK to embrace change, since it promotes personal growth. MORE LIKE THIS: What Playfulness Can Do For Your Relationship These 4 NLP Techniques Will Change How You Think How to Prime Your Mind For Optimism Indeed, American philosopher Henry David Thoreau once observed how easily our brains get hardwired, leaving us feeling we’re stuck in a rut. Research on neurogenesis and neuroplasticity by Christopher Bergland suggests that we can rewire our brains to explore fresh perspectives, helping us approach challenges with renewed clarity. Try taking a different route to work, listening to a new music genre, or exploring an unfamiliar part of your city. These small shifts can dissolve your preconceived notions and reservations about change and open you up to new possibilities. 6. Incorporate play into your day Getting shit done shouldn’t be your only goal for the day – making it more enjoyable and memorable is just as important. Playfulness is a powerful trait for individuals facing adverse conditions, as revealed by a study by Rinat Feniger-Schaal et al., as it allows them to reclaim autonomy and build emotional resilience. “Surround yourself with people who embrace an abundance mindset – those who encourage you to find the positive side when life gives you lemons.” However, avoid the urge to tie play to a specific goal or outcome. Instead, focus on what genuinely brings you joy. Whether it’s baking cupcakes, taking a painting class, volunteering, or dancing to your favourite song, incorporating play can break the monotony and add lightness to your day. 7. Create a community you can count on The power of a strong, supportive community is a key aspect of lemonading. Surround yourself with people who embrace an abundance mindset – those who encourage you to find the positive side when life gives you lemons. Indeed, offering support is just as important as receiving it, as teaching resilience and helping others through tough times is a key aspect of lemonading. RELATED: The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits We often get so caught up in our struggles that we overlook what those around us are going through. By extending kindness and support, we foster an ‘affiliative connection,’ thus deepening our friendships and reinforcing meaningful relationships. In addition to strengthening bonds, small acts of kindness have other proven benefits, from alleviating stress and boosting immunity to releasing happy hormones like serotonin and endorphins, giving you the uplifting experience of the ‘helper’s high.’ Takeaway: when life gives you lemons Resorting to the advice 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade' may not always seem like the natural or even realistic choice during tough times. Indeed, it’s not always easy to regard the glass as half full when difficulties arise. However, looking on the bright side as a conscious practice can help us stay resilient and, in general, be happier. Adopting the lemonading mindset won’t make your setbacks vanish, but the strategies shared can help you navigate them with greater ease – and maybe even enjoy the process. ● shutterstock/Kit Viatkins, shutterstock/Roman Samborskyi happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Positive psychology | Motivation | Keys to Happiness | Unhappy in Life Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

The benefits of Vedic meditation are many: improved sleep, clearer thought, and lowered stress. Meditation teacher Ann Vrlak explains how to practise this ancient meditative form and guides you on the power of the vedic meditation mantra. Vedic meditation is an ancient form of meditation practice – in fact, it’s the very first. The many styles of meditation that you see today all originated from this original practice. The source of Vedic meditation is the Vedas, a series of texts that form the basis of Indian philosophy, all branches of yoga, and the science of Ayurvedic medicine. For centuries, all three of these disciplines have had an enormous impact on people’s health and well-being around the world. The Vedas lay out a comprehensive path to a happy and meaningful life through experiential learning. When you practise Vedic meditation, you will go on a journey of self-discovery and apply what you learn to all aspects of your daily living. So, what is Vedic meditation? Vedic meditation is centred on a mantra – a phrase that is repeated either out loud or silently in your mind. “Mantra” is made up of two Sanskrit words: “man” which means mind, and “tra” which means vehicle or transport. So, a vedic meditation mantra is a vehicle to take your mind from one place to another: perhaps from the busy activity of your day-to-day mind to a deeper, quieter place, that is often covered up by that activity. Vedic meditation uses mantras, and can be done at home The most ancient mantras are in the Sanskrit language because Sanskrit is what’s known as a ‘vibrational’ language. What does that mean exactly? It means that the sound of the words, their vibrations, create the experience of the words’ meaning. For example, the Sanskrit word for peace is “shanti.” It’s said that when “shanti” is repeated, the sound itself invokes the feeling of peace. Or when the word for compassion, “karuna,” is repeated, you will be filled with a feeling of compassion. “When you practise Vedic meditation, you will go on a journey of self-discovery and apply what you learn to all aspects of your daily living.” And you probably already had experiences of how relaxing sounds can be. The sound of a running river. Or birds singing. In fact, you don’t relax through thinking about the river or the bird, but from the sounds themselves. Similarly, using a vedic mantra meditation gives your brain something innately healthy to focus on – a break from a busy mind. RELATED: What Is a Sound Bath Meditation and What Are Its Benefits? It’s worth pointing out that Vedic meditation also helps you to be more mindful and do one thing at a time (something which is deeply calming). Indeed, studies have shown that multitasking is actually stressful for our minds and bodies and, in fact, it may not even be truly possible. What are the benefits of vedic meditation? So, before explaining how to practise Vedic meditation with mantras, let’s take a look at its main benefits. If you feel you are healthy, what would that look like to you? A generally healthy person would: Sleep well Vedic meditation nurtures a healthy nervous system. It activates your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your body that governs relaxation and rejuvenation. Additionally, it helps to reduce stress chemicals that accumulate in your body, and allows a deeper, more restful sleep. Feel relaxed and be able to relax when needed Anxiety and stress are epidemics in our modern world. The relaxing effects of vedic meditation can be used any time you’re aware of being anxious or stressed. And the healing, anti-anxiety effects build over time and lower your overall stress level. Think clearly and creatively Have you ever noticed that when you’re anxious it’s hard to think? The ability to relax in the moment and have a generally low stress level allows your brain to work better. Areas across your brain work together more efficiently so you are more creative and productive. When your nervous system is rejuvenated, you have more resources at your fingertips to respond to your life wisely and compassionately. Be emotionally balanced and calm Your emotions have physical and mental components that can become a vicious cycle, creating upset or intense suffering. Just as your thinking becomes clearer and more holistic through vedic meditation, your emotions also become clearer and more grounded. Have all the energy you need Because Vedic meditation activates the rest and rejuvenate part of your brain, because you’re sleeping well, and because you’re reducing your stress level, your energy levels should soar. Be content Taken all together, doesn’t this sound like a recipe for contentment? You are physically rested and relaxed, and your thinking and emotions are clear and calm, supporting you in your best intentions. All of these things make your connections and relationships with people easier and more fulfilling. And, you have energy for the things that matter to you most. How to practise vedic meditation First, it’s important to know you don’t need any religious or spiritual belief to do Vedic meditation. All you need is a mantra, a few minutes of quiet, and a spirit of adventure. As I mentioned earlier, traditional mantras are in Sanskrit. Give one of the vedic meditation mantras below a try. If for any reason you’re not comfortable with them, you can use words in your own language, like “peace” or “compassion.” How to do vedic meditation in 6 steps Decide on a length of time to practice and do your best to stick to it. You can start with 10 minutes and build up to 40. 1. Choose your mantra. Here are a few traditional Sanskrit mantras OM. The primordial mantra, the sound of the universe or, in Indian philosophy, the sound of pure consciousness. Repeating this mantra can help you let go of personal worries and connect with the universal sound. SO HUM is another ancient mantra which means 'I am that'. Not only can you connect with pure consciousness, you can experience yourself as that consciousness. OM MANI PADME HUM is a lovely mantra meaning “the jewel in the lotus.” Lotus flowers grow in mud. This mantra invokes your power of transformation, your ability to overcome things and find the jewel in difficulty. 2. Find a quiet space When you’re first learning any kind of meditation, it’s best to take time away from your usual daily activities in a quiet space. It can be as simple as a comfortable cushion or chair in the corner of a room. As you become more experienced, it will be easier to close your eyes for a few minutes of practice wherever you are. Find a quiet spot to practise vedic meditation 3. Sit and connect with your body Take a comfortable sitting posture, physically relax as much as you can, and let your attention gently scan your body. Take a few deep breaths, letting go a bit of any tension or stress each time you exhale. 4. Use your mantra Bring your mantra to mind and, if you like, its meaning as well. Know there’s nothing you need to do or create; you’re simply repeating your chosen mantra. Start by repeating it softly, out loud. Focus on the feeling of the sound, how the vibrations feel in your throat, your heart, your stomach – wherever you feel it most. “Using vedic meditation mantras nurtures a healthy nervous system and helps to reduce stress chemicals. It also allows a deeper, more restful sleep.” When you find that your attention has drifted to a memory or a plan or anything else, that’s all part of the practice. Notice where your attention is and gently come back to repeating your mantra. After a moment or two, start to repeat the mantra more and more quietly, until you're repeating it silently inside. RELATED: Turning Pain Into Compassion: Tonglen Meditation 9 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation Does Meditation Really Work? Here's What Science Says If you like, you can lengthen the silence between the repetitions, with the mantra coming out of and going back in to silence. If you find you become distracted in longer silences, come back to repeating the mantra more often. 5. Returning to body awareness When your practice time is almost done, let go of the mantra and bring your attention back to the physical sensations in your body. Again, gently scan your body and notice if areas of your body feel different than before. Also, notice the state of your mind and your emotions. There’s no right or wrong way to feel, just notice what is here for you. 6. Close with a breath When you’re ready, end with another few deep, relaxing breaths. The takeaway: what is vedic meditation? Just like any other activity or skill you learn, getting the full benefits of vedic meditation and mantras takes time. However, by practising it you will become sensitive to subtle body, mind and emotional states – becoming a keen observer of yourself. Indeed, you may notice quite quickly small shifts in your stress level, mood and well-being as you practice. And, you may find, like so many people do, that the act of vedic meditation itself creates an oasis where you experience just a little more relaxation, a little more contentment, and a little more joy. A little of any of these experiences goes a long way in improving your happiness levels! ● Images: shutterstock/Zdenka Darula, shutterstock/fizkes happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Gratitude | Acceptance | Altruism | Volunteering Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Ever think 'why do I get overwhelmed so easily'? Learn how to stop feeling swamped with these 8 strategies from Dee Marques, from practising conscious breathing to setting boundaries. Do you ever feel like you’ve got 100 tabs open in your brain, and they’re all loading at once? Feeling overwhelmed, swamped in tasks or deluged has become a common experience for most of us. Time goes by fast, responsibilities pile up, and before you know it, you’re drowning in to-do lists, unanswered messages, and deadlines that multiply overnight. A 2018 study from the Mental Health Foundation charity found that nearly 75% of UK adults felt so stressed during the previous 12 months, that they felt unable to cope. And across the Atlantic, a report from the American Psychological Association found that 27% of adults in the US feel so overwhelmed they can’t handle daily responsibilities. But why is this happening? Factors like digital dependence, constant social media comparisons, and the expectation to always be ‘on’ can make us feel stretched too thin as we increasingly try to juggle multiple roles. Many are feeling overwhelmed at work, in their personal lives, by their financial situation, or even due to global political and environmental worries. Stop the swamp: here's what to do when you're overwhelmed So, if you sometimes wonder 'why do I get overwhelmed so easily', keep reading. We will show you how to stop feeling overwhelmed so that you can redirect thoughts and emotions to a healthier – and calmer – state. What does it mean to feel overwhelmed? Essentially, being overwhelmed means being under a cognitive and emotional overload. It happens when your mind perceives that the demands on you go beyond your ability to cope. Unlike stress, which can sometimes be motivating, overwhelm can be paralysing. Your brain struggles to prioritise and even simple tasks can feel undoable, so you tend to procrastinate or avoid decision-making. In other cases, feeling overwhelm means you rush from task to task, often not finishing any or doing them inefficiently. “When overwhelmed, your nervous system goes into overdrive. Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, minimising the stress response.” And although the feeling of being overwhelmed may feel similar to anxiety, they’re not the same thing. Overwhelm is often about too much and too fast, leaving you mentally and emotionally drained; whereas anxiety doesn’t always appear in response to external stressors, but it’s more of an underlying state of worry. 10 signs and symptoms of being overwhelmed If you're feeling many of these mental and physical health symptoms below, it could mean that you're feeling overwhelmed with life. 1. Mental fog – Struggling to focus or think clearly. 2. Irritability – Snapping at others or feeling emotionally sensitive. 3. Procrastination – Feeling unable to start tasks, which get constantly postponed. 4. Physical exhaustion – You feel drained ,even if you’ve had enough sleep. 5. Overreacting – Small hurdles, like the computer taking a long time to start or not finding the car keys, trigger a disproportionate reaction. 6. Social withdrawal – Preferring to be alone as you feel embarrassed or misunderstood. 7. Tearfulness – Feeling emotionally flooded and crying easily. 8. Loss of motivation – Struggling to find a strong reason to get things done. 9. Physical symptoms – Digestive issues, rapid or irregular heartbeat, unexplained dizziness, headaches, or muscle pain, often caused by holding stress in your body. 10. Insomnia – Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. Causes of feeling overwhelmed When experiencing one or more of the above symptoms, it’s normal to think, 'why do I get overwhelmed so easily'? There’s usually no single cause of overwhelm, but it tends to develop from multiple factors. For example: • Too many responsibilities: Work, family, social commitments, financial pressures, etc. • Perfectionism: Holding yourself to unrealistic standards. • Digital overstimulation: Constant notifications, emails, and social media noise. • Not making room for rest: Insufficient sleep or downtime to recharge. • Emotional overload: Relationship conflicts, personal struggles, or grief. • Unrealistic expectations: Feeling like you should be able to handle it all. • Poor boundaries: Saying yes to too many things. • Major life changes: Moving countries, getting married/divorced, midlife crisis, having a child, etc. It’s important to understand that none of the above mean there’s something wrong with you, but rather, that you need a different strategy so you know how to stop feeling overwhelmed. How to stop feeling overwhelmed: 8 strategies Feeling overloaded with life and struggling to cope? Here's what to do when overwhelmed: 1. Take a moment to breathe When overwhelmed, your nervous system goes into overdrive. Through deep breathing, you can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps minimise the stress response. Try the 4-7-8 technique, where you inhale deeply for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, and exhale slowly for 8 seconds. Or have a go at conscious breathing. Deep breathing and meditation offer relief when overwhelmed 2. Release the mental load When thoughts spiral, get them out of your head and onto paper. For example, you can do a brain dump of everything on your mind. This helps declutter your thoughts, increase your self-awareness, and can also make it easier to clarify your priorities. 3. One step at the time Big tasks feel overwhelming because your brain sees them as one massive job. The trick is breaking them into smaller and more manageable steps or micro tasks. MORE LIKE THIS: Navigating Life: 10 Tips For Overcoming Obstacles How to Get Shit Done: 8 Productivity Hacks Why Can't I Focus? 8 Tips on How to Avoid Distractions For example, instead of “clean the house”, break it down into mini-tasks like clear the kitchen countertops, load the dishwasher, Hoover the sitting room carpet, etc. 4. Reduce sensory input Our brains aren’t designed to handle constant notifications, background noise and multiple screens. Try putting your phone on 'Do Not Disturb' or leaving it in a different room – and don’t wait to be overwhelmed to do this. You can also replace social media scrolling with listening to calm music or white noise. The idea is that reducing external noise helps reduce mental clutter too. 5. Move your body Exercise is a powerful stress reliever because it releases endorphins. What’s more, physical movement shifts your focus away from overwhelming thoughts. Just 10-15 minutes of movement a day can help de-stress your mind and energise your body. “Strategies like deep breathing, breaking tasks down, and setting boundaries can learn how to stop feeling overwhelmed and feel more in control of your life.” And you don’t need to sign up for the gym. Things like a brisk walk outdoors, gentle stretching, yoga, or simply dancing around your bedroom to your favourite songs at home can help. 6. Set boundaries Being overwhelmed often means you have taken on too much, whether at home or work. This is why it’s crucial to protect your energy by setting boundaries and saying 'no' when you already have too much on your plate. This can mean setting clear working hours and not checking emails after a certain time, or reducing unnecessary social commitments. Remember: saying 'no' isn’t selfish: it’s self-care. Set boundaries and say 'no' when overcome with tasks 7. Focus on what’s within your power Worrying about things beyond your control is a sure way to get overwhelmed. Instead, shift your attention to what you can influence. You can even write it down and keep the list in a visible place. RELATED: The Time is Now: How to Stop Worrying About the Future Just as important, don’t beat yourself up while you do this. There may be only a few things within your power, but this is temporary, and not a reflection of your worth. 8. Ask for support Overwhelm feels isolating, but you don’t have to deal with it alone. Feeling overwhelmed is common, so don’t avoid sharing your feelings out of shame. Talking to a trusted friend can help put things into perspective. And if overwhelm is interfering with daily life, seeking professional support from a therapist or support group can help you learn coping strategies. The takeaway: what to do when overwhelmed Feeling overwhelmed isn’t a sign of weakness, and you’re certainly not alone in feeling like this, so don’t allow yourself to feel guilty or frustrated. Overwhelm is a sign that your brain and body need rest and attention. By identifying what’s causing your overwhelm and using the strategies mentioned here, like deep breathing, breaking tasks down, and setting boundaries, you can learn how to stop feeling overwhelmed and feel more in control of your life. Remember that you don’t have to do everything at once. When dealing with feeling overwhelmed, take one step at the time, and be kind to yourself in the process. • Images: shutterstock/Prostock-studio, shutterstock/Miljan Zivkovic, shutterstock/Krakenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Work life balance | Resilience | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Can an abundant mindset radically affect our choices and determine the course of our lives? Sonia Vadlamani believes so. Here she shares explains the meaning of abundance mindset and mentality, and offers eight simple yet effective ways to cultivate them. When Henry Ford famously stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right”, he was emphasizing how our attitude and beliefs determine our success or failure. While we may not realize it, self-limiting thoughts can have a lasting negative impact on our lives, whereas positive reinforcements and a bright outlook on life can help us make better choices, resulting in successful outcomes. The term 'abundance mindset' was first coined by Stephen R Covey in 1989, in his best-selling book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. According to Covey, those choosing an abundance or abundant mindset believe that there are unlimited resources available for every individual, and that long-term success warrants creation of a win-win situation for all. Abundance mindset vs scarcity mindset In contrast, Covey refers to scarcity mindset as viewing life as a limited resource, wherein one can get only a share of the pie, while the rest is reserved for others. Those with scarcity mindset believe there just isn’t enough love, time, or money out there for everyone: each thought and every action of theirs is an endeavour to grab the limited opportunities. Adopt a mindset of abundance for positive changes An experimental study based on neuroimaging revealed that abundance mindset enables individuals to make goal-oriented decisions. On the contrary, those with scarcity mindset perceive limited resources to be available to them, which may impact their decision-making abilities adversely. A victim of the scarcity mindset myself until a few years ago, it took me a while to realize that I was limiting myself by remaining in the ‘if only’ trap – assuming that my life would be perfect if only I earned a certain amount of money, bagged that exclusive contract, went on that dream vacation, etc. When I eventually realized that my scarcity mindset was confining me in a victim complex, I consciously looked for ways to expand my awareness and recognize all the growth opportunities around myself. Indeed, escaping the scarcity bubble might seem impossible at first, but consistent focus and determined action plan drawn towards developing an abundance mindset helps immensely. “Those with an abundance mindset and mentality can perceive the highest potential in every situation. There are always more options, great possibilities and unlimited resources for the abundance-minded.” Sometimes, it may be easy to confuse scarcity mindset with a temporary setback, like being in financial shortfall. Being broke could be a short-lived situation in your life – in fact, not having access to everything you ever desired could prove to be a valuable lesson and help you to be grateful for everything you do have. How is an abundance mindset beneficial? An abundant mindset or abundance mentality is believed to favor personal and spiritual growth. Psychology professor Carol Dweck revealed that people with “growth mindset” believe that talent is merely the starting point and abilities can be honed with consistent efforts towards betterment. These individuals tend to be more equipped to deal with stressful situations and believe in their ability to generate more successful outcomes as compared to those with a 'fixed mindset'. Individuals with abundance mindset are perceived to be: more creative and inspired to create favorable outcomes for everyone around unfazed even through adverse circumstances more assured about their ability to create high-value results of an amplified magnitude more focused on creating meaningful, unhindered, satisfying life experiences 8 ways to develop a more abundant mindset Here are some practical and effective ways to start creating a life of abundance. Incorporate them into your life and try to witness positive changes. 1. Believe in infinite possibilities Those with an abundance mindset and mentality can perceive the highest potential in every situation. While scarcity mindset imposes a perceived limit on the resources available, there are always more options, great possibilities and unlimited resources for the abundance-minded. RELATED: 7 Ways to Develop a Can-Do Attitude Training your mind to see limitless opportunities in place of shortcomings can be a gradual process. You can start by deliberately expanding your awareness while relaxing your focus, and then asking yourself how you could approach a situation from a different perspective, in a scenario where you know you couldn’t fail. 2. Understand the power of your thoughts “What you think, you become. The mind is everything,” Buddha taught us. The law of manifestation asserts that our inner world reflects our outer reality, and that our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions determine what we manifest into the physical world around us. Taking time to notice the kind of self-limiting or scarcity-based thoughts you experience would allow you to identify your thought patterns and shift them gradually towards abundance. An abundance mentality encourages the best version of you 3. Stop comparing yourself to others Scarcity mindset can compel individuals to constantly evaluate how they compare with others. However, those with abundance mindset tend to only compare themselves with regards to the vision and standards they set for their own selves. 4. Incorporate gratitude as a daily practice Gratitude is a powerful emotion for creating abundance. In fact, there is ample scientific research that establishes the benefits of gratitude as a daily practice, like improved mental health, stronger relationships, and enhanced personal happiness. RELATED: Top 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the easiest ways to integrate gratefulness as a daily ritual and harness the benefits of an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude meditation can also help you build a habitual focus on appreciation of good things in life. 5. Build win-win situations for all Those with scarcity mindset view life as a defined 'cake' and believe that if someone gets a big slice of the cake, the others are left with smaller portions. Abundance mentality views life as a sum of collaborative efforts instead of competitive endeavors. RELATED: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! Creating win-win solutions through interaction and collaboration can lead to mutually favourable results – this way, there is plenty of cake for everybody. 6. Be willing to learn According to Covey, the desire for learning and growth towards mastery experiences forms the basis for abundance mindset. The key to abundance is to make learning a habit and to create mastery experiences in at least one area of your interest. “Abundance mindset is believed to favor personal and spiritual growth. People with growth mindset believe that talent is merely the starting point and abilities can be honed with consistent efforts towards betterment.” James Clear, the author of the best-selling book The Power of Habit explains how the principle of ‘marginal gains’ or tiny improvements on a daily basis can aggregate over time. This brings about a dramatic shift in how we achieve successful results. Indeed, by making 1 per cent improvements in small areas in your life consistently, you could witness exponential growth and create remarkable results for yourself as well as others around you. 7.Create daily affirmations that encourage abundance Scarcity mindset stems from fear; be it the fear of inadequate resources or insufficient skill to achieve one’s goals, etc. An experimental study by J. David Creswell et al pointed out the benefits of self-affirmation in the form of improved problem-solving abilities even in stressful situations. RELATED: How to Find Meaning in Life: 7 Strategies Using daily affirmations can help bring about a gradual yet steady shift in your mindset from scarcity to abundance. Start with jotting down your fears and worries. This will help you expand your awareness. Next, make a suitable action plan as a response to these concerns in a way that will enable you to overcome your fear of failure, so you can lead a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Start your day with positive affirmations 8. Surround yourself with others with abundance mindset “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” stated Jim Rohn, and with good reason. Accordingly, choose to invest your time and resources in building a community of people who elevate your outlook on life and bring out the best in you. This will also help you minimize the unproductive time spent with ‘negative nellies’ or unsupportive and unproductive people who add no value to your life and only create stressful situations instead. Surrounding yourself with positive-minded and empowering people will help you develop an abundance mindset. Takeaway: Meaning of abundance mindset and mentality An abundance mindset and abundant mentality can have a positive effect on our physical health, emotional well-being, happiness, relationships and even our financial decisions. Keeping that scarcity mindset at bay might seem difficult to begin with, but by following the eight tips above you´ll be able to see that abundance mindset develop and shine through. • Images: shutterstock/sun ok, shutterstock/KieferPix, shutterstock/Hitdelight happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Positive psychology | Motivation Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.