Loneliness - How do you deal with it/ How do we heal it/ How can we prevent it?

[Tine]

Loneliness is killing people. Recently a study in the UK found that even more young people suffer from being lonely than the older generations. "Young adults are more likely to feel lonely than older age groups [...]. The research found that almost 10% of people aged 16 to 24 were "always or often" lonely - the highest proportion of any age group. This was more than three times higher than people aged 65 and over." Source: BBC.com

What can we do to create communities which are closer-knit, where people support each other and the deep human connection which is a major indicator for happiness is nourished?

I personally moved to a small village almost 2 years ago as despite living in a beautiful city in a shared apartment with lovely people the anonymity of the city did drain me. Now at times, I think people are a bit too interested in how and when I do what, but that is more than compensated by the feeling of community. I recently read in an article the litmus test for a real relationship is "If I am sick, will you bring me soup?" In the city, I had many friends but no soup. I wasn't bringing soup, I didn't get soup. Not because people are less nice but there's a dynamic in the city where you rarely reach out making it know that soup would really help. It's different now and I appreciate it a lot.

[ks****]

Loneliness, even when you're around people. has a particular pain about it i think.

[Tine]

2 minutes ago, kscanlan said:

Loneliness, even when you're around people. has a particular pain about it i think.

Where in the body is the pain felt? What does it consist of? Which thoughts does it trigger? Which additional emotions?

[Ne****]

I think the knowing that we are all one and the same has been so much forgotten that we now all feel so seperate and are even tought to protect ourselves from each other by seperating ourselves into groups or just completely alone. This needs to be changed. I think just by talking to random strangers throughout our daily lives we can spread feelings of inclusion.

[Sh****]

I have been depressed for the past two and a half years. During much of that time, I spent in self imposed isolation - feeling disconnected from life and friends, tortured with feelings of deep hopelessness and shame.

Fortunately, the depression has finally started to lift through a combination of therapy, rTMS (through a clinical study), and a very recent introduction into the benefits of mindfulness and self compassion. 

This past month, I started reaching out again: first to strangers on the street / the girl bagging my groceries / neighbours, and now, reaching out again to friends who I haven’t seen or spoken to for much of the past 3 years.

Don’t let work, your mobile phone, social media, mindless tv or, internet surfing, take the place of friendships and connectedness. Depression is an insidious disease and it can creep into your life without you being fully aware: isolation and loneliness provides fertile ground for depressive thoughts to feed on.

One mindful intention at a time, one moment at a time....

[Bo****]

I have a few close friends I see once in a great while since we are scattered across the country. I enjoy my own company and like to exercise, be in nature, and be alone. Of course there are times I get lonely but I just keep moving and don't let it consumer me. It's a feeling and feelings come and go. The old sang " move a muscle change a thought" works well. 

[Ka****]

I think loneliness, like happiness, can come from within. If we find it hard to reach out to others then we can feel lonely,  but that may be because we find it hard to trust. If we can feel able to trust and be vulnerable then we can reach out to others and feel less lonely wherever we are, and in a big city maybe we have to be the first ones to make soup? 

[Tine]

I agree, it's hard, it feels vulnerable and yet it's necessary to make that first step we are craving for ourselves.

It can be small steps every now and then, smiling at people as you are walking the dog, a few words at the bus station, getting to know your neighbours.

@Kalila Are you referring to the story called "stone soup"?