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Ex best friend


Lo****
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Posted

Thanks so much. It was totally bizarre of her to just call me “delusional”, and then demand I go to her wedding at the drop of a hat. You’re right. Just hurt feelings I have never really dealt with. 
 

I guess I have better friends. My relationship with her was mostly one-sided a lot of the time. I’ll never forget the time she kissed my boyfriend when we were 17 because SHE was feeling down about hers. You know, that kind of person? Maybe the friendship should have ended then. It really became obvious when I needed her help. It really was just me making all the effort.


Wow, seeing it in black and white really puts it into perspective!

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Posted

Sometimes it does help to write it down or tell it out loud - it makes it more real and it makes you see it with new perspective. In situations with problematic friendships or relationships I also try and think "what advice would I give if it was a friend / family member who was going through this?" It is definitely easier said than done, but it also helps to see things a bit more clearly. ?

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Posted

Thank you. I too wish I knew what was going on. Ah, the follies of youth. I see my boyfriend and how he is with his friends and how they treat him and I think, wow, I’ve never had friends like that. They treat him so well and would do anything for him, and he does for them. I think this is what makes me sad. I mean don’t get me wrong, I have known so many good people, I wish I could have seen things clearly when I was younger!

  • 2 weeks later...
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Posted

This is quite an old topic, but this kind of situation is known to me too.

 

On 2/3/2021 at 2:24 PM, Lola-6866 said:

She is slightly narcissistic

Basically, that explains her behavior. Her wedding was important to her, but she didn't care about the guest's effort to get there.

Slightly narcissistic behavior is good, because it means, you try to make yourself happy and that's important.

But when I get married, the company will be more important to me than the place.

 

If someone suffers from depression, it can be scary for a friend to talk about it, because you never know, which wrong words you might pick, which make the person kill herself for example.

So that could have been a reason, but that is still no excuse to call you 

On 2/3/2021 at 2:24 PM, Lola-6866 said:

delusional.

 

I broke up with my ex best friend too.

We went to school together from 1st grade to 10th grade and that's when it ended.

We even skipped a grade together, but while I tried to become a classy gentleman, he tried to be cool by playing gangster. So I pulled the ripcord because I didn't want to follow him on this path.

 

From then I still got male and female friends, but my best friends were always female.

I dont know why, but they seemed to be better in discussing serious or emotional topics.

  • 4 months later...
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Posted
Hi Lola, my name's Kirby. Well, first off, my condolences and I'm really sorry about what happened to you with your ex. Anyway, I'm kinda going through a similar issue. I met this girl back in February and she seemed really cool and really likable but she started changing. I've been looking up about NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and there's up to 15 signs or symptoms and a psychiatrist only needs to see 5 for the diagnosis.. well my friend shows all 15. Right now, "she needs time away from me to process how mean I was to her". The truth is that I myself have mental instabilities and issues and it sounds like when you were trying to speak to your friend and just have someone to talk to about it, she couldn't show you any kind of empathy. This is pretty much my issues with my friend, she can't show empathy. Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the number one symptom is the inability to have or show any empathy. They can show sympathy but not empathy. Sympathy is "I'm sorry you had to endure that" and empathy is "I've been there before and I understand how you feel". And a true friend is..."We'll get through your trauma together. How about a rootbeer float and Netflix tonight?" Unfortunately it's sad to say but 1 in 20 people have got some sort of undiagnosed NPD and they think the behaviors are normal. Truth be told.. I think you're probably better off without her in your life. I kinda came to that realization earlier today. My friend can't even pull her head out from her pillow long enough to help me build a case to get her son back. But the best thing we can do is pray for them. Hope this helps... God Bless you.
  • 2 weeks later...
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Posted

Just you wait you will find that one true friend.

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