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Advice on how to help someone with anxiety

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Thank you for that advice @Calvin77, that's really helpful :)

Hi Lizzie, something to remind them of is that 'this will pass'. Panic attacks can be so consuming that it's tricky to get that perspective when in the midst of one. Wilhelmena.


I suffer from vehophobia and fear of death as well as generalized anxiety disorder. 

Some things which do not help

  • Being told to calm down 
  • Being told I am not being rational even if I am not being rational 
  • Suggesting I am over reacting 
  • Trying to apply logic or reason when I am in a full blown panic
  • Condescension
  • Being humiliated for what is something beyond my control
  • Becoming over focussed on the object of my fear
  • Having people shouting or applying stress to me
  • Telling me to just buck up or act more like a man

Things that help

  • Information which I can find or have control over like myself choosing to read a book about the subject that scares me
  • Investigating statistics and risks so that I can be more realistic 
  • Cognitive behavioral techniques 
  • A music I love
  • Spending time with my dog
  • Talking about unrelated pleasant things I enjoy
  • Breathing techniques Or relaxation 
  • Crafts
  • Art
  • In some cases confronting the fear by pushing myself forward. This doesn't work if it isn't self motivated.

i would say that it should start with talking about it with person directly when they are in safe environment and calm. just let them know that you would like to know in advance that you want to find out what they think in which ways they would benefit most from your help when they have panic attacks. [be careful as initial question can be perceived as negative thus advance notice for them to think and probably should be carried over several talks and reviews]. basically they need to decide what they can use as anchor that would help them. various methods can be used as it depends on types, causes and triggers of anxiety and conditions on mental and physical health and one's ability to recognise own thinking style and patterns. external help then would mean for person having panic attack recognise they need to change their thought from ones fuelling panic to ones reducing it. It's tricky with OCD because loop of repetitive fueling thoughts can be very short and tight and hard to manage without medication in more serious cases. 

from perspective of Reality Transurfing, Hermetic Principles, (also NLP) helper should go "with" person they are helping rather than "against" (as @xenspirit put on his list above). Once both on same rhythm helper can lead towards calming down (like turning a tanker around - it must be done slowly). If helper is skillful in managing energies like Reiki then focus should be on beneficial outcome but not on ways to get there.

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