Inner Child Work and Therapy: How to Heal Past Wounds

Inner child therapy focuses on accessing and rectifying unconscious emotional experiences and beliefs formed during childhood that may be negatively affecting your life as an adult. Discover how to heal your inner child with this advice from psychologist Stanislava Puač J. 

Inner child work or inner child healing is a notion you probably stumbled upon if you ever tried to understand why certain emotions or behaviours seem to come from a child-like, vulnerable place inside you.

The term gets tossed around quite a lot, so it may sound like a feel-good phrase at times. Nonetheless, it is a valid therapeutic path for those of us who hear our inner child’s voice echoing beneath the surface. 

I, for example, still get scared like I did as a little girl when someone gets angry or shouts (as if I weren’t nearly 40 and accomplished in all crucial areas of life). And it is that hurt little girl who needs (and deserves) the care and safety she has necessitated all along.

Let’s unpack what healing your inner child means – and how to connect with your inner child so you can become all you can be. 

 

What Is Inner Child Work and Therapy?

Inner child therapy is a healing path focused on accessing and rectifying the unconscious emotional experiences and beliefs formed during childhood. 

Moments of unmet needs, trauma, adversity, abuse, or even seemingly minor events that felt unsafe or shameful when you were a child lie buried deep inside your psyche. Unfortunately, they are not always integrated and overcome, especially if you didn’t receive psychotherapy or counselling as a child. These past injuries change a child’s neural system and profoundly affect their development.

Self-reflect on adult behaviour and start healing your inner child

Indeed, a 2017 study published in the International Journal of Play Therapy concluded that: “chronic and highly stressful environments and experiences, occurring during early development, have a strong negative impact on the neural architecture and overall brain development in young children.”

It's no wonder many adults feel a need to address these past hurts and learn to respond to life from the present, not from the survival scripts of the past.

 

A Brief History of Inner Child Therapy

The idea of an inner child that carries vast wisdom is ancient. However, in modern seminal literature, two authors’ concepts seem to lie at the basis of inner child healing. In the first half of the 20th century, Hungarian psychoanalyst Sándor Ferenczi identified a phenomenon where young children who had been traumatized acquire wisdom beyond their years. He characterized them as ‘wise’ babies. 

Similarly, Carl Jung, in collaboration with Karl Kerenyi, explored the concept of the ‘divine child’ – a mythological archetype believed to spark healing and intuitive insight in both children and adults. Yet, strictly speaking, it was John Bradshaw in the 1990s who popularized the term inner child in self-help and recovery circles.

 

“Inner child therapy is a healing path focused on accessing and rectifying the unconscious emotional experiences and beliefs formed during childhood.”

Nowadays, there isn’t a single therapeutic approach when you wonder how to heal your inner child. It's widely integrated into various therapy modalities, including psychodynamic approaches, schema therapy, IFS (Internal Family Systems), and somatic psychology.

 

Signs Your Inner Child Needs Healing

So, how to connect with your inner child and know they need healing in the first place? Well, there are specific signals your inner child may be sending your way, even if you’re not aware of their meaning yet. Here are some common examples:
 

• People-pleasing Your fear of disappointing others compels you to bend over backwards for them, neglecting your needs.
   
• Difficulty setting boundaries You struggle to assert boundaries and say “no”, or feel guilty when you do.
   
• Self-sabotage You carry a deep-seated sense of unworthiness that unconsciously undermines your own goals or relationships.
   
• Emotional outbursts or shutdowns Small triggers evoke intense reactions, reflecting unprocessed feelings from childhood.
   
• Fear of abandonment or rejection You have a strong urge to protect yourself, so you seek excessive reassurance or avoid closeness altogether.
   
• Perfectionism You try to be flawless to avoid criticism or earn affection.
   
• Shame and self-criticism Your inner critic works overtime.  
   
• Addictive behaviours You use food, work, substances, shopping, or screens excessively.
   
• Seemingly inexplicable medical concerns A 2015 study from Arizona State University concluded that “childhood trauma may lead to poorer health in midlife through disturbances in the patterns of everyday life events and responses to those events”.
   
• Disconnection from joy You find it hard to relax, be spontaneous, or experience awe.

These behaviors are coping mechanisms, not flaws or weaknesses. Your inner child adopted them to feel safe, at one point. Now comes the time for inner child healing, because, as you will soon learn, it is a vital element of you realizing your healthy potential. 

 

Why Is Inner Child Healing Important?

Research supports the idea that experiencing childhood trauma can lead to long-term negative effects in individuals, such as impacting our physical health later in life, be less responsive to coping tools, and making our emotional reactions swing more intensely.

Healing your inner child isn’t about wallowing in the past, though. Think about it as updating your emotional operating system. Now, as an adult, you get an opportunity to choose how you will respond, instead of falling right into that vulnerable state of mind. 

Self.compassion is essential in inner child work and healing
 

Inner child work helps you break cycles of emotional reactivity and create space for healthy adult responses In short: healing your inner child liberates your adult self. So, how to connect with your inner child and start healing? Let’s dive right in. 

 

How Can I Begin Healing My Inner Child?

Healing your inner child usually means revisiting very hurtful experiences: a counsellor or therapist can help if you need professional support. With dedication and patience, you will start to see some of the signs that your inner child is healing.

Nonetheless, if you want to start on your own and are wondering how to heal your inner child without a therapist – or as a complement to therapy – here are seven powerful steps grounded in psychological evidence and therapeutic practice.

 

1. Reconnect Through Visualization

One of the most commonly used tools is a gentle meditation where you visualize yourself meeting your child Self in a safe place. What are they feeling? What do they need? Offer comfort and reassurance. If you find it challenging to create that emotional bridge, looking at your childhood photos can help. They will likely spark the connection. 

 

2. Write Letters to Your Inner Child

Letter-writing is used in inner child therapy to promote inner dialogue with parts of yourself that might otherwise feel overwhelming. First, write from your adult perspective to your inner child. Then switch – write from your inner child. You might start to notice the needs and past hurts you weren’t aware of. 

 

3. Identify and Reframe Core Beliefs

Schema therapy identifies patterns like “I’m unlovable” or “I’ll be abandoned” as emotional schemas (also known as early maladaptive schemas). Gently challenge these beliefs. Ask: Whose voice is this? When did this belief come to be? Is this true today? 

MORE LIKE THIS:

• How To Practise Self-Compassion: 6 Proven Techniques
• Self-Forgiveness: How to Forgive Yourself in 7 Steps
• How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: 7 Techniques That Work
   

4. Track Emotional Triggers

Whenever you have a disproportionate emotional reaction, note it down. Ask: How old do I feel in this moment? Keeping a journal of these moments helps you spot patterns and develop more adult responses over time.

 

5. Reparent Yourself Daily

Healing your inner child often involves so-called reparenting – intentionally offering yourself the care and love you needed but didn’t receive as a child. 

 

“Inner child work helps you break cycles of emotional reactivity and create space for healthy adult responses. In short: healing your inner child liberates your adult self.”

Depending on what you need, reparenting could mean setting healthy boundaries, creating healthy life habits, or affirming your emotions instead of dismissing them. The result? Your basic sense of trust (re)built. 

 

6. Play, Create, and Be Silly

You can help heal your inner child by playing and being creative. Part of connecting with your inner child means tapping into your child-like energy. Make space for joy, spontaneity, and curiousity. Draw, dance, build something silly. Healing isn’t all heavy lifting.

 

7. Seek Out Safe Relationships

How to connect with your inner child? Sometimes, the answer is in connection with others. Safe attachment can offer corrective experiences – be it with a therapist, a support group, or a trusted friend. Learning it’s safe to be your true Self in front of others is a cornerstone of inner child healing.

 

Takeaway: How to Heal Your Inner Child?

Inner child work is about freeing your present Self from invisible strings that formed through childhood adversities. And when you embark on the journey of healing that broken part of your being, you begin to meet your own emotional needs in ways that your childhood Self couldn’t.

So, if you’re noticing painful patterns repeating in your life, or feel stuck in ways you can’t explain, chances are your inner child is still waiting to be heard. The good news? You are safe now. You can begin to heal. ●
Images: shutterstock/Favebrush, shutterstock/dot.studio

Written by Stanislava Puač J.

Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.