Positive Relational Energy: the Secret Sauce of Uplifting Human Connections

Positive energizers are optimistic souls that naturally radiate good vibes to others. Psychologist Stanislava Puač J. offers up the 7 traits of positive energizers and explains how you can nurture more positive relational energy in your life, building happiness. 

 

I recently came across the notion of positive relational energy and I immediately remembered something that happened during my college volunteer days. 

We were working with emotionally heavy cases – stories of trauma and disadvantage that stayed with you long after the day ended. One evening, our team met to report on progress, and we were all visibly drained.

One of the coordinators walked in, carrying a tray of mismatched mugs and those overly sweet 3-in-1 instant coffee packs we all secretly loved. But it wasn’t the coffee that lit up the room – she cracked a soft joke about how we ourselves were one emotional breakdown away from qualifying for group therapy, and – genuinely – asked how we were doing.

Energy is contagious: positive energizers know it!

Of course, that moment didn’t change much in the burden we were carrying. But you could clearly see how the energy shifted. We laughed together and the heaviness dissipated. We all grabbed that straw of optimism and held on to it. 

If a conversation such as this has ever left you feeling unexpectedly lighter, you’ve probably felt the effects of positive relational energy. Let’s unpack what this concept means, how it works, and how you can become one of these people with positive, contagious energy.

 

What Is Positive Relational Energy?

Energy is contagious; I intuitively knew that all of my life. Some people walk into a room and lift the entire emotional atmosphere. Others literally drain life force out of you. 

 

“Positive relational energy refers to the uplifting and energizing effect that some people have on others. In simpler terms, when we interact, we exchange not only information but also a dynamic flow of energy.”

This interpersonal effect is known as relational energy – a term Kim Cameron explored in detail. According to him, positive relational energy refers to the uplifting and energizing effect that some people have on others. In simpler terms, when we interact, we exchange not only information but also a dynamic flow of energy:
 

• Positive relational energy is the kind that inspires, motivates, and leaves people feeling better. It’s more than optimism or a forced “good vibes” act. It is grounded in genuine empathy, presence, and authentic connection. 
   
• On the other hand, negative relational energy manifests as cynicism, constant complaining, competitiveness, or emotional withdrawal. We often label these people energy vampires (because even short interactions with them can leave you mentally and emotionally exhausted).

 

Although Cameron focuses primarily on the effects of positive relational energy in leadership, this vibrant and uplifting exchange can occur naturally in all forms of communication, for example:

• A family member’s supportive presence can de-escalate conflict or reinforce bonding.
   
• A positive energizer can make friends feel secure, seen, and recharged – turning even ordinary moments into sources of connection and strength. 
   
• In psychotherapy, we can also say that we rely on such positive relational energy to form rapport.

So, in essence, relational energy is that invisible current we exchange during shared experiences.

 

7 Qualities of Someone with Positive Relational Energy

Positive relational energy is more than that instinctive feeling that energy is contagious. In fact, it is measurable – and it has been measured – as well as its effects. 

Within a work environment, research suggests that teams with more positive energizers are more productive, resilient, and cohesive. According to the same study, leaders who create positive relational energy “display humility, authenticity, work passion, humor, trust, spiritual leadership, and servant leadership.” 

Let’s examine how these individuals’ positivity is contagious and what traits they possess:

 

1. They’re emotionally attuned

Positive energizers are also empaths. They notice how others feel and have high emotional intelligence. They have an emotional radar that picks up others’ discomfort, disengagement, or tension. And most importantly, they respond with warmth and non-judgment.

 

2. They listen deeply

People endowed with positive relational energy make people feel heard. They nod, reflect, and create a safe space. They go beyond active listening and give the kind of attention that says: “You matter.” 

Deep listening is a key trait of positive energizers

 

3. They elevate rather than compete

It is not always easy to genuinely celebrate others’ wins. Envy is defined as “an unpleasant, often painful emotion characterized by feelings of inferiority, hostility, and resentment caused by an awareness of a desired attribute enjoyed by another person or group,” by researchers who reviewed empirical and theoretical work on this feeling.

 

“Choosing to be a positive energizer doesn’t mean denying stress or sugarcoating reality. It is about appreciating the beauty of life and passing that appreciation onto others.”

Despite its negative hue, most of us tend to experience envy at some point in our lives. Positive energizers, conversely, don’t rely on comparison to feel worthy. Their energy reinforces mutual success, not status games.

 

4. They radiate solution-focused optimism

People whose positivity is contagious also have bad days. However, they don’t focus on problems – but on paths guiding everyone out of trouble. Their default tone is constructive, not corrosive.

 

5. They use humor wisely

Positive energizers know when to bring lightheartedness – as well as when not to. A light, playful remark at the right moment can defuse tension, and these individuals know just the right dose of humor. 

 

6. They’re generous with genuine praise and gratitude

Praise, appreciation, and gratitude can have a profoundly positive impact on both the giver and the receiver. If someone carries that positive relational energy, they will notice what’s going right and say it out loud. In this way, their contagious energy boosts not only individual moods but also team morale.

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7. They model integrity and trust

People feel safe around a person whose positivity is contagious. Why? They behave in this manner in all life situations. They are consistently positive and respectful. That safety is part of the energy they radiate.

 

How Can I Develop More Positive Relational Energy?

You don’t need to be born as a positive energiser. Much like empathy or leadership, positive relational energy can be nurtured. Here’s how you can take the traits outlined above and turn them into intentional habits and small, everyday actions:

 

1. Enter the room with intentional awareness

The foundation for positive energy exchange is mindful presence. Start building awareness of yourself and your effect on others. You can try to:

• Take a mental note of how your mood might be affecting others whenever you interact with them.
   
• Pause before meetings or conversations to ask yourself: “What energy am I bringing into this space?”
   
• Be conscious of your non-verbal communication, too (body language, gestures, etc).

 

2. Rewire your internal world and fill it with gratitude

Gratitude shifts your focus from a scarcity to an abundance mindset – and people feel that shift. What is more, it becomes contagious. These are some of the practices you can try:

• A quick “what went well today” reflection at the end of each day.
   
• Expressing appreciation out loud, even for small things. 

 

3. Use listening as a relational tool, not just a social skill

We often think we’re listening when we’re really just waiting for our turn to speak! When you intentionally listen, it is not a void space – active and mindful listening creates energy. To develop in this area:

• Release the need to mentally script your response.
   
• Offer simple reflections like, “That sounds tough,” or “You seem excited about this.” 

4. Become a calm source of momentum

People with positive relational energy aren’t relentlessly cheerful and bubbly. However, they tend not to cling to their problems. Here are a couple of ideas on how to develop that forward-focused mindset and “infect” others with it:

• Practice asking “What’s one small thing we can do next?” when conversations spiral into frustration.
   
• Stay curious and open, rather than critical. 

Spread good vibes to others through positive relational energy

 

5. Infuse lightness without losing depth

Humor isn’t just about making people laugh. It’s about reminding others (and yourself) that not everything is heavy all the time. Moreover, it has been proven to facilitate relationship-building. So, start using yours to promote positive relational energy and:

• Sprinkle in jokes, harmless observations, or share uplifting stories.
   
• Use playful tones as emotional palate cleansers during tough conversations.

 

6. Forgive (with boundaries)

Even if we think we’re good at hiding it, unresolved resentment leaks into interactions. 

 

“People with positive relational energy aren’t relentlessly cheerful and bubbly. However, they tend not to cling to their problems.”

Of course, we’re not promoting letting someone off the hook if what they did was terribly wrong. Still, forgiveness sets you free to relate more fully if the transgression wasn’t that severe (if it was, you are fully entitled to set healthy boundaries). How to practice forgiveness intentionally?

• Practice small acts of emotional release (journaling or reframing).

 

7. Treat consistency as a superpower

To be energizing, you need to make others feel safe around you. In other words, it is about being steady, respectful, and present. Here’s how:

• Show up in a way that people can count on, even when you’re tired.
   
• Guard your integrity, so others will know it’s safe to follow your lead.

 

Takeaway: Choose to Radiate Positive Contagious Energy

Whether we realize it or not, we’re constantly transmitting. Our voice, demeanour, and words form an energetic signature that affects those around us.

Most of the time, we don’t think about this too much. Yet, if you want to be that positive, energizing force in the world, you can deliberately change how you radiate. 

Choosing to be a positive energizer doesn’t mean denying stress or sugarcoating reality. It is about appreciating the beauty of life and passing that appreciation onto others. It is the kind of contagious energy that brings about genuine change. ●
Images: shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri A, shutterstock/Tint Media, shutterstock/LightField Studios

 

Written by Stanislava Puač J.

Stanislava Puač J. is a psychologist, life coach, and writer with over 15 years of experience exploring how our inner world shapes our interactions, health, and sense of self. Her work blends research, real-life practice, and a holistic view of well-being – spanning emotional regulation, communication, and mindfulness.