Tragic Optimism: An Antidote to Toxic Positivity

Unlike toxic positivity – where the only acceptable response to hardship is to smile through it – tragic optimism acknowledges adversity while holding space for hope. Dee Marques explores the meaning of tragic optimism and offers five ways to find meaning during challenging times. 

Do you remember the last time you tried to cheer someone up by telling them “stay positive” or – the current mantra of our times – “you've got this!”? Or maybe you say these things to yourself to pep yourself up while you're going through difficult days while trying to navigate through life. 

Although the intention behind these expressions comes from a place of kindness, reinforcing words such as these can sometimes miss the mark. That's because we live in a culture that often pushes us towards forced optimism; a mindset where every cloud must have a silver lining and must be met with a smile. This kind of toxic positivity comes with its downsides.

As best-selling author Margie Warrell puts it: “The over-generalization of ‘think positive’ to all situations can be harmful, as it denies the full human experience”.

However, there’s also a very real and valid longing behind toxic positivity: to find hope in difficulty and to trust that life is meaningful, even when it’s hard. So, how do we meet that need without bypassing our emotional truth? That’s where so-called tragic optimism comes in.
 

What is the meaning of tragic optimism?

The concept of tragic optimism was first developed by Austrian psychologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl. He defined it as, “an optimism in the face of tragedy and in view of the human potential”. It asserts that even in the face of suffering, individuals can find purpose and meaninf in life, maintaining optimism and hope, even in the most challenging circumstances. 

Tragic optimism: finding the light while accepting the darkness

Challenging circumstances and tragedy is something that were close to Frankl. During the three years he and his family spent in various concentration camps, his father died while both his mother and brother were murdered in gas chambers. By holding on to hope and meaning, Frankl managed to survive this terror and work within psychology.

Tragic optimism vs toxic positivity

Unlike toxic positivity – which suggests that the only acceptable response to pain is to smile through it – tragic optimism recognises that suffering is part of life. Its strength lies in embracing life as it is, as a way to cultivate emotional honesty and fortitude.

This concept is completely at odds with toxic positivity, which leaves little room for anger, grief, fear, or despair. In this mindset, people are often asked to “look on the bright side” instead of acknowledging pain.

In real life, this can play out in small but painful ways: a friend brushing off your heartbreak with “you’ll find someone better”, a colleague minimising your burnout with “at least you have a job”, or even the inner voice that tells you “you don’t have a right to feel sad or unhappy – others have it worse”.

“Tragic optimism recognises that suffering is part of life. Its strength lies in embracing life as it is, as a way to cultivate emotional honesty and fortitude.”

Science shows that toxic positivity can, as.the name suggests, be harmful. Research confirms that dismissing negative emotions through suppression or experiential avoidance actually heightens distress. Moreover, the emotional suppression that characterises toxic positivity can leave us feeling more alone and ashamed, and has even been linked to anxiety and depressive disorders.

A 2011 study from the University of Bielefeld, Germany, found that this avoidance doesn’t only lead to increased suppression of negative emotions, but also to the suppression of positive emotions, suggesting that toxic positivty can even impair our ability to enjoy the good things in life.

Finding Meaning in Hardship

Frankl believed that meaning is the antidote to suffering. Building on philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche’s idea that "if we have our own why in life, we shall get along with almost any how", Frankl observed this to be true under gruelling circumstances, and noted how some of his fellow prisoners in a concentration camp made it through simply because they were able to find meaning in their experience.

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Although traumatic events mark us, we always have the option to weave them into our life narrative and see them as growth points, rather than as endings. This integration work to overcome challenges is crucial, because otherwise we would be left with multiple disconnections between different events and stages of life, which would make it difficult to understand how difficult experiences can lead to growth.
 

Tragic Optimism: Growth From Hardship

Of course, unproblematic situations and joyful life stages are important and we should enjoy them to the best of our ability. Enjoyment is important to life! But growth rarely comes from those moments. Instead, it often emerges as we carve our way through hardship.

This is what researchers have called post-traumatic growth – and real-life examples are plentiful. For instance, a 2021 study from the University of California and Eastern Washington University of over 500 participants during COVID-19 found that 56% felt increased gratitude amid suffering.

Brighter days can lie ahead when you hold on to meaning

Similarly, a 2011 study from George Mason University found that people experiencing traumatic events such as  natural disasters or the death of loved ones without falling into experiential avoidance reported high levels of growth and meaning – in fact, the greater the distress, the greater their growth.

5 Meaning-Making Strategies

Tragic optimism – making meaning through hardship – is about staying with what hurts and choosing to move forward regardless. Here are five strategies to help you turn adversity into understanding, strength and growth.
 

1. Name What You Feel

Instead of brushing aside emotional discomfort saying “it could be worse” or “stay positive”, allow your emotions to surface and acknowledge their nature and where you feel them in your body.

A 2007 study from UCLA found that labelling emotions combined with mindfulness reduced activity in the brain’s threat response centre, helping participants feel calmer and more in control.
 

2. Find Your ‘Why’

One of the most powerful strategies during periods of hardship is to identify a sense of purpose. Your ‘why’ doesn’t have to be huge or dramatic, but to be meaningful, it needs to feel true to you. Here are some examples:

• Caring for someone you love
• Advocating for an issue close to your heart
• Using your experience to support others going through similar challenges
• Committing to become the person you needed when you were at your lowest
• Achieving all the life goals you still aim for 

The point of tragic optimism isn’t to erase pain, but to anchor yourself in something worth enduring it for. As research has shown, purpose is linked to greater emotional resilience, decreased depression and anxiety, and even to a longer lifespan and fewer risk of heart conditions.

3. Reframe Suffering Into Growth

Tragic optimism involves approaching hardship as part of your evolution. So, instead of asking, "Why is this happening to me?", ask "What might change because of this?" or "What kind of person do I want to become because of this?"

Changing your perspective like this isn’t about forcing silver linings, but about reinterpreting life events so you can move from helplessness to agency.

Change your perspective and reframe suffering into growth

4. Practise ‘honest gratitude’

Forcing yourself to “be grateful” doesn’t help. Even gratitude researcher Robert Emmons says: “To deny that life has its share of disappointments, frustrations, losses, hurts, setbacks and sadness would be unrealistic and untenable. Life is suffering. No amount of positive thinking exercises will change this truth.”
 

“While toxic positivity offers comfort at the cost of emotional authenticity, tragic optimism acknowledges adversity while holding space for meaning, hope and growth.”

Honest gratitude is a more nuanced and grounded perspective that simply invites you to notice what remains steady or meaningful as you experience pain. That might be a friend who checks in, a tree you pass on your daily walk to work that reminds you of continuity, or the feeling of a warm cup of tea on a hard day.

5. Take one meaningful action

Sometimes, meaning is not found through thought, but through action. Ask yourself: What is one small thing I can do today that aligns with my values? Maybe that means writing a note of encouragement to someone else, or volunteering in a way that feels manageable. These choices say: “I can respond to pain in meaningful ways”, which is the basis of tragic optimism.

Takeaway: Tragic Optimism

While toxic positivity offers comfort at the cost of emotional authenticity, tragic optimism acknowledges adversity while holding space for meaning, hope, and growth. This is a gentler, wiser alternative that makes space for both hardship and growth.

Tragic optimism isn’t just an antidote to toxic positivity: it’s an invitation to embrace every part of the human journey, and to emerge with deeper strength, meaning, and love for life. If you’re going through something difficult, try to stay open to life, even when it hurts. ●

Images: PHOTOCREO Michal Bednarek, Perfect Wave, Good Studio

Written by Dee Marques

A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.