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Ego death – also known as ego dissolution or ego loss – is a complete loss of subjective self-identity. Rhianna Quanstrom discusses some of the common triggers, such as psychedelic experiences, as well as the signs and symptoms of ego death. The first time I experienced an ego death or dissolution was when I took psychedelics at a party. At the time, I was living a very unhealthy lifestyle and making a lot of poor choices. In fact, I think I was in total self-destruct mode. Why? Because I was fully identified with my mind, thoughts, trauma, and wounds. When I took the psychedelics, it was like the blinders came off. For the first time, I could clearly see that who I was “acting” as was not who I truly was. However, this was not an enjoyable experience. In fact, it was terrifying. I could see the darkness of my life surrounding me like a black cloud. Despite it being a “bad trip,” my life completely changed after that experience. I stopped partying, made new friends, and started living a completely different lifestyle. That pivotal moment launched me onto the path of becoming who I am today. This moment was what's known as an ego death, the first of many I have experienced as I continue to walk a path of healing and awakening. An ego death is a transformative experience in this journey we call life. It can be difficult to understand and even harder to describe. If you’re curious about ego death or perhaps believe you may be going through one yourself, keep reading to understand the symptoms of ego dissolution and the ultimate gift that it can offer. What is an Ego Death? To understand ego death, we must first understand what the ego even is. The ego represents our concept of self, of who we think we are. It contains our identities, beliefs, desires, wounds, conditioning, and worldviews. The ego is represented by "I am" statements, such as "I am (my name)," "I am a (role or gender)," "I believe (in this)," "I enjoy (this)," and "I think (this)." I like to think of it as a mental structure encompassing who we are in this form. It is a normal part of our psychology and human makeup. It helps us present ourselves, participate in the community, and share our unique gifts. Ego death: loss of subjective self-identity The problem is that almost everyone completely identifies with this mental structure as who they truly are. They are their gender, role in society, accomplishments, thoughts, titles, personality, “things,” and income. By completely identifying with our ego structure, we also affirm the illusion of separateness. The ego, by nature, defines how we are separate from others. But this is just the “outward” structure, and there is an essence within this structure that is witnessing and bringing life-force consciousness to it all. Eckhart Tolle relates to this inner essence as our “Being.” Writing inThe Power of Now – his landmark book – Tolle states: “Being is eternal, ever-present One Life beyond the myriad forms of life that are subject to birth and death. However, Being is not only beyond but also deep within every form as its innermost invisible and indestructible essence. This means that it is accessible to you now as your own deepest self, your true nature.” “An ego death or ego dissolution is when our concept of self falls away, and all that we think we are is no longer true. Ego deaths can range in intensity and emotion, but they are often scary and disorienting.” I like to relate to it as my true Divine nature, which is part of and connected to all of life. This essence in me is the same essence within you and within all beings. From this place of knowing, we understand that our mental structures aren’t who we truly are; they are simply the lens or filter through which our true self shines through. As such, an ego death is when our concept of self falls away, and all that we think we are is no longer true. Ego deaths can range in intensity and emotion, but they are often scary and disorienting. This is because one of the main purposes of the ego is to keep us alive and safe! Indeed, we build these egoic structures and beliefs to keep our inner, true self “safe.” So, when we go through a process of realizing that who we think we are isn’t truly who we are, it can feel like we’re literally dying. However, it’s really just the ego going through a death phase. MORE LIKE THIS: Nonduality: What it Is, What it Isn't, and Basic Teachings What is Soul Loss and Retrieval? Healing Through a Shamanic Lens What Goes Around Comes Around: is Karma Real? Of course, the ego doesn’t truly “die.” Rather, an ego dissolution is more of a death for a rebirth process – a transformational rewiring that brings our ego structures into better alignment with our true, Divine self. Ego deaths also help us to remember and understand that we are not our thoughts, personality, or roles in life. We are so much more than our identities and beliefs. Even if we go through an ego death, we still have our thoughts, personality, and roles; however, those aspects of self might change or evolve to better reflect our true Being. The History of Ego Death While the term “ego death” is more recent, the concept of egotism and ego dissolution has been part of mystical traditions for millennia. This concept is found in Buddhism, Hinduism, Christian mysticism, Sufism, and shamanism. Buddhists believe the path of enlightenment involves the dissolution of the self. In Hinduism, there is the concept of the “false self,” which relates to the ego. Through meditation, yoga, and devotion, the devotee can let go of their false self and realize their true nature. Dissolution of the self This same concept stretches into Christian mysticism and Sufism, with both traditions emphasizing “dying to self” to experience union with God. The idea is to strip away illusions and egoic desires so that their singular focus is on the Divine. In shamanism, there is an interesting practice called dismemberment that is a form of ego death. People on a shamanic journey have experienced their spirit guide or power animal attacking them and ripping them apart. Their helping spirit then puts them back together, while leaving out energy, illness, beliefs, or limitations that are not serving that person. Dismemberment can happen spontaneously in a shamanic journey, or it can be experienced intentionally. “Ego deaths help us to remember and understand that we are not our thoughts, personality, or roles in life. We are so much more than our identities and beliefs.” More recently, the term ego death has been connected to psychedelic experiences. The term was actually coined in the 1960s by Timothy Leary in his book The Psychedelic Experience. In it, he explored how psychedelics played a key role in the spiritual journey and initiated ego deaths. Signs and Symptoms of Ego Death Ego death can occur within a single psychedelic or meditation experience, and it can be a slow process over weeks or months. When occurring over some time, ego death is commonly referred to as a “dark night of the soul.” While in an altered state of consciousness, such as on a psychedelic or shamanic journey, ego death symptoms may be entirely unique to you. It may feel scary, disorienting, liberating, peaceful, enlightening, or joyful. Here are some common signs and symptoms of ego death: Loss of identity You may not feel like you know who you are or why you’re here. Your current roles may not feel like they “fit” anymore. Confusion You may feel cloudy, disoriented, and not know what is “real” anymore. There could be emotions rising to the surface that don’t have an obvious source. Dissolving into nothingness An experience of completely letting go to the point where you feel like you are no one and no-thing, like you’re floating in space as pure consciousness. You may also experience sinking into the earth and dissolving into the soil. Becoming one with everything Alternatively, when the illusion of self strips away, one may feel like they are connected and one with everything around them. They are one with the tree in their yard, the wind in the sky, the bird flying high, and the clouds passing by. Detachment from the mind You may experience becoming the observer of yourself, like you are watching your mind from a distance. When there’s space between yourself and your thoughts, you can clearly see your thought patterns and emotions from a non-judgmental, unattached way. Intense fear During a psychedelic experience, it’s normal to go through phases of intense fear or panic. It may feel like you’re dying, and you may have visions of death or darkness. While scary, these are typical symptoms of ego death, especially on psychedelics. What Causes Ego Death? There are many ways that an ego death can be triggered. Substances – such as psilocybin, ayahuasca, LSD, and DMT – commonly cause ego deaths. These are typically intense and transformational, resulting in a sudden change in one’s life going forward. Psilocybin, found in mushrooms, can lead to ego dissolution experiences Devotion to a spiritual and awakening path will eventually lead to ego death. The longer one walks this path, the more experiences of ego death they will go through. This is because as one walks a healing and awakening path, there is a natural purification process. All that is not true and no longer serves comes to the surface and is released over time. Aside from psychedelic experiences, here are some other common causes of ego death: Sudden spiritual awakenings Near-death experiences Childbirth Intense grief or trauma Deep, unconditional love Lucid dreaming Consistent and long meditations Shamanic journey meditations Is Ego Death Good? Ego death has the potential to be a truly rewarding experience, depending on how well the experience is integrated. It can lead to a deeper connection to one’s own true, Divine nature, and to the world around them. It can help bring one closer to their true purpose, help release emotional trauma, heal old wounds, and let go of belief systems or conditioning that no longer serve. For example, a 2023 study conducted led by Johns Hopkins University and published in Front Psychiatry found that naturalistic use (non-research-based) of psilocybin showed: “persisting reductions in anxiety, depression, and alcohol misuse, increased cognitive flexibility, emotion regulation, spiritual wellbeing, and extraversion, and reduced neuroticism and burnout.” This is just one study of many that show the positive implications of psychedelic use, in which ego deaths are common. Ego deaths are profound and monumental, but they can also be frightening and disorienting. It’s important to integrate the process and seek support when you need it. Takeaway: What is an Ego Death? An ego death is a transformational experience. While scary, it can help us come into deeper alignment with our true essence and change the course of our lives. These intense initiations help us realize and remember that we are so much more than who we think we are. I’m so thankful for the intense and dark psychedelic experience I had. That ego death helped me realize that the path I was heading down was not where I wanted to go. It helped remove the illusions and beliefs clouding my mind so that I could clearly see that the life I was living wasn’t in alignment with my true, Divine nature. Whether you’re currently experiencing symptoms of an ego death or you’re curious about the psychedelic experience, be sure to have people around to support you. The key is integration and trusting that this experience is part of your liberation and healing. ● Images: shutterstock/New Africa, shutterstock/Good Studio, shutterstock/Room27 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Purpose of Life | Letting Go | Mindfulness Written by Rhianna Quanstrom Rhianna Quanstrom is a freelance writer, herbalist, and spiritual seeker with a passion for nature-based healing and sacred wisdom. Her writing draws from years of experience with meditation, shamanic practices, plant medicine, dream work, and the reclamation of the Sacred Feminine. Discover more of her writing and poetry on her Mystic Love Substack.

Radical self care is about making decisions that honour our true selves. From setting uncompromising boundaries to nurturing your authentic self, Dee Marques explores 8 radical self care examples you can incorporate into your life to gain stability and happiness. What comes to your mind when you hear the term “radical self care”? For some people, they may it associate with taking time out to pamper themselves, but this type of self care goes way beyond scented candles and relaxing bubble baths. And although these smaller acts of physical self care have their place, radical self care involves a much deeper level of attention and consideration for our mind, body and spirit. A good example of radical self care is the decision taken by US gymnastics champion Simone Biles, who bravely withdrew from Tokyo Olympics in 2021 to prioritise her mental health. Reflecting on her decision, she said that "we have to protect our minds and our bodies and not just go out and do what the world wants us to do”, emphasising that this type of choice isn’t a sign of weakness, but of strength. Indeed, radical self care is about making choices that honour our true selves. It's about taking a stand for our inner stability – something that can be life-changing. Radical Self Care: the History While the volume of Google searches for “radical self care” has boomed from 2015 onwards, the origins of this concept go way back to the 1960s and 1970s. In fact, radical self care has always had a revolutionary flair to it. Starting in the 1960s, activists within the Black Power movement, including the Black Panthers and writers like Audre Lorde, affirmed that self care was crucial when it came to survival under oppression. Practicing radical self care can be life-changing These revolutionary voices understood that radical self care meant attending to their bodies and minds on a daily basis, as they battled with systemic injustice, whether that meant being diligent with nutrition, meditation, or yoga. Not only that, but radical self care also had a community focus, as many of these activists created wellness and social service programmes targeting groups affected by inequality, and turning self care into a form of activism. So, What is Radical Self Care Exactly? The full extent of radical self care is perfectly described by Audre Lorde, when she said: “caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare”. Nowadays, we’re used to thinking about self care as those Instagrammable moments of pampering, quiet, and relaxation, but there’s so much more to radical self care than me-time. “Radical self care is about making choices that honour our true selves. It's about taking a stand for our inner stability – something that can be life-changing.” To understand what radical self care really means, it helps to look at the origin of the word “radical”, meaning “root”. Radical self care isn’t about masking problems with comfort, trying endless yoga programmes or the latest fad in self care routines. Instead, it’s about going to the root, tending to the source. We’re talking about the type of care that tackles burnout, systemic pressures, and emotional labour with proactive healing, and not just with generic rest. RELATED: Be Good to Yourself: 8 Self-Love Techniques 12 Ways to Practise Self-Acceptance Self Validation: 5 Ways to Develop It This means prioritising yourself, even when putting your needs first disappoints other people. Just like fellow sports star Simone Biles, tennis player Naomi Osaka gave an outstanding example of this at the 2021 French Open. She refused to talk to the media as she felt mentally fragile and subsequently withdrew from the competition, all in the face of considerable pressure and coercion. Radical self care also means creating the space to live authentically and connect with your true self, aligning your choices with your coping, social, creative, and physical needs. Essentially, radical self care is about care with conviction – a transformational practice that recognises your well-being is non-negotiable. Making time for physical wellness is another radical self care example What are Some Examples of Radical Self Care? Because radical self care isn’t only radical at the root, but in its reach, it’s vital to ensure all areas of your life are covered by this commitment to prioritising your well-being. So, how does this look like in real life? Here are some examples: Leaving a pressured social role or job that doesn’t align with your needs and values. Declining an invitation if it disrupts your energy, even if it involves people you care about. Prioritising therapy, coaching, or community healing circles over mindless distraction. Speaking up about unrealistic expectations, even if that goes against the majority’s opinion. Ending toxic relationship dynamics or unhealthy communication loops. Taking meal planning seriously to ensure your meals are nutritious and honour your body. How Do You Practice Radical Self Care? Here are eight ways you can decide to make changes that honour your true self, cultivating radical self care. 1. Cultivate Relationships That Expand You The more seriously you take your well-being, the more sensitive you become to anything that drains your energy – and that includes people. If there are toxic people in your circle, or anyone who drags you down, radical self care demands you let go and focus on connections full of respect, reciprocity, and depth. 2. Set Uncompromising Boundaries One of the starting points of radical self care is realising you can’t give your 100% to everything at the same time. To protect your energy, be selective with your boundaries at work and at home, making sure your needs are clearly expressed (for example, “I’m unavailable after 6pm” or “I can’t handle extra projects right now.”) Protect your energy by setting uncompromising boundaries 3. Say “No” Cutting obligations may disappoint others, but each “no” frees space for your mental and emotional health. Saying “no” also includes refusing to give into distraction (such as mindless scrolling), when you could be using that time on activities that bring you tangible benefits. “Radical self care means prioritising yourself, even when putting your needs first disappoints other people. That often means saying 'no'.” Studies have shown that children who say “no” and delay gratification did better socially and academically later in life – and as writer and psychotherapist Bryan Robinson says – “saying no more than you say yes is a trait of healthy and successful people”. 4. Make Time For Physical Wellness Although radical self care is much more than taking a relaxing bath or doing yoga, attending to the body is an important aspect. Make time every day for activities that respect your body’s levels energy, such as a fitness or exercise routine like mindful running, and complement this with conscious eating choices. 5. Nurture Your Authentic Self Find opportunities to voice your truths, stand by your values, and celebrate your cultural, spiritual, or political identity. To cultivate your authentic self, you may want to explore rituals that reaffirm who you are or ancestral healing practices. 6. Practice Creative Expression Your authentic self has a creative side, and research across different cultures and age ranges shows that creative activities like writing, making art, and singing are correlated to higher levels of autonomy, empowerment, and stress relief. How to practice radical self cafe? Try creative expression 7. Embrace Rest As Resistance Review your routines often and realign them around rest. This could mean anything from taking a whole day to yourself, to making 15-minute appointments with yourself. Pausing isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a choice you make out of self-love. As author Ivory Bennett said about Simone Biles’ act of rest as resistance: “Biles is a bold and beautiful example of duality. You can be strong and choose rest”. 8. Swap Guilt For Trust Statistics show that 1 in 4 Americans feel guilty for investing in self care. When you feel guilty about attending to your well-being, you’re more likely to be inconsistent with your radical self care practice. It’s much more beneficial to approach every act of self care with complete trust in your choices and regards the benefits of these self-priority actions. Takeaway: Radical Self Care is Your Foundation Ultimately, radical self care is an act of total self-respect. It asks us to show up consistently for ourselves and reconnects us to our worth beyond productivity or performance – just like Simone Biles said: “I’m more than my accomplishments”. Embracing radical self care as a way of being roots us in our values, protects our energy, and restores our autonomy. What’s more, it invites us to honour our energy, trust our needs, and protect our peace without apology. Whether it’s saying no, resting without guilt, or expressing your truth, each radical choice is a step towards living more intentionally and authentically. Remember that your well-being isn’t a luxury: it’s your foundation. So, take the time and create the space for it. Why not start right now, finding one radical way of caring for and respecting yourself today? ● Images: shutterstock/GoodStudio, shutterstock/Julia Zavalishina, shuttertstock/Josep Suria, shutterstock/Toffee Photo happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Healthy habits | Letting Go | Goal setting Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

There are many different types of Buddhism. Ann Vrlak explains the unique components of the main four Buddhist branches: Theravada, Mahayana, Vajrayana, and Chan/Zen. You don’t need to wear a robe or shave your head to explore Buddhism. This worldwide religion is practiced by people who want tools to live more simply and mindfully, all the way to those who want to dive deep into a more spiritual lifestyle. To take a quick look back, Buddhism was born over 2,500 years ago in the region now known as northern India. With the help of a vast web of trade routes, Buddhism spread across Asia, and eventually around the world. The Buddha’s teachings were influenced by the various cultures they came into contact with, to create many different forms of Buddhism. These adaptations are both cultural and personal. For example, a culture might place high value on community. Or, someone might have a personal value of individual responsibility. The good news is, the branches of Buddhism now offer a doorway for everyone to enter. Buddhism has multiple branches: which suits you best? Let's take a look at the four most prominent types of Buddhism: Theravada, Mahayana, Vajrayana and Chan/Zen Buddhism. 1. Theravada Buddhism If you’re drawn to learning about personal awakening and responsibility, Theravada is the branch of buddhism to begin with. It is the oldest surviving branch of Buddhism and the most traditional, practiced primarily in Southeast Asia: Thailand, Laos, Sri Lanka, Myanmar and Cambodia. Theravada Buddhism has a structured, disciplined approach to spiritual growth. Building self-awareness is key – examining how the teachings are reflected in your unique life circumstances and challenges. “If you’re drawn to learning about personal awakening and responsibility, Theravada buddhism is the place to begin. It is the oldest surviving branch of Buddhism.” This school of Buddhism has a foundation of deep practice, always favouring direct experience over conceptual understanding. The ultimate goal is individual enlightenment: liberation from suffering. Theravada Buddhism is grounded and practical, with insight and mindfulness meditation as the central practices. They are integrated into daily living, as well as long periods of meditation and contemplation. This intense practice is honourable, whether it’s done by those on the monastic path or everyday practitioners. In a nutshell Theravada offers a step-by-step, structured approach to personal awakening. 2. Mahayana Buddhism The “Great Vehicle” is used to describe Mahayana Buddhism. Mahayana expanded from India, into China, Japan, Vietnam and Korea to become one of the most influential schools of Buddhism. While Theravada puts individual enlightenment at the centre of its philosophy and practice, Mahayana believes the goal is awakening for the sake of all beings. In fact, Mahayana sees individual enlightenment as a contradiction or misunderstanding. To highlight that perspective, this type of Buddhism uses the core idea of the bodhisattva. This is someone who devotes themselves to practice not only for themselves, but for others. In fact, the selflessness of the bodhisattva is said to be so pure they “hold themselves back” from total enlightenment until all beings can join them. Meditation is a key component of Theravada Buddhism For Mahayana Buddhists, development of compassion is given equal importance to wisdom. True wisdom is not realized, unless it is interwoven with compassion. So, Mahayana practice focuses more on a direct awakening of the heart. There is a wide range of practices and texts, based on the belief that there are many “skillful means” to open one’s heart. Practices include chanting, visualizations and devotions. In a nutshell If placing compassion at the centre of your spiritual life feels best to you, embracing the benefits to others, begin with the Mahayana branch of Buddhism. 3. Vajrayana Buddhism Vajrayana Buddhism grew out of the Mahayana tradition and is its most elaborate form. If you have seen any of the Dalai Lama’s rituals or temples, you had a glimpse of the complex world of Vajrayana Buddhism: mandalas, sand paintings, deities, symbols and chanting. This “Diamond Vehicle” of Buddhism came to its most intricate expression in Tibet and the Himalayan Regions of Nepal and Northern India. “Which type of Buddhism calls to you? Each has its own way to understand and engage with our human experience.” It is these rituals and objects that differentiate Vajrayana Buddhism from other schools of Buddhism. These are much more than symbolic.They are intended to directly affect your mind and energy. Contemplating a mandala, for example, does not engage your thinking mind. It resonates with a deeper way of seeing life’s patterns. This branch of Buddhism, more than others, is considered a serious commitment that depends on a relationship with a teacher. In a nutshell If you’d like to learn a casual meditation practice, one of the other types of Buddhism is best. Vajrayana Buddhism is for you if you want to dedicate yourself to consistent inner work with an established teacher. 4. Chan/Zen Buddhism Now, we go to the other end of the complexity spectrum to Chan/Zen Buddhism. In both China (Chan Buddhism) and later in Japan (Zen Buddhism), practitioners wanted a stripped-down, essential spiritual philosophy and practice. Chan/Zen Buddhism centres on ideas that might sound familiar to you: simplicity and mindfulness in everyday activities, and direct experience of the awakened view through disruptive practices. Let’s briefly look at these concepts, especially the latter. Mindfulness is core to Chan/Zen Buddhism Chan/Zen encourages mindfulness and practices around every action you take; honouring everything, no matter how small. This idea is behind tea ceremonies and creation of rock gardens. When you do simple, mundane activities, with full attention and reverence, something rich shines through. RELATED: Visualization Meditation: How to Practice it Do Buddhists Believe in God? What Goes Around Comes Around: is Karma Real? Koans are one of Chan/Zen’s most infamous tools. These are paradoxical sayings that your mind can’t untangle, so not only does it become frustrated, but it temporarily “goes offline.” When your day-to-day mind lets go, a direct experience of reality breaks through. In a nutshell If using tools to bypass your usual way of thinking is exciting to you, try Chan/Zen koans. They are creative, surprising ways to wake up your mind. Chan/Zen Buddhism is also a powerful way to begin a practice that embraces mindfulness of everyday actions. Takeaway: Types of Buddhism Which branch of Buddhism calls to you? Each has its own way to understand and engage with our human experience. The four types of Buddhism we have talked about here offer a doorway in for people with different goals and personalities. And, if you want to explore, there's no reason you can’t try all of them. See which buddhism type supports you best in areas you care about – and that might be different at different stages of your life. Curiosity is all you need to begin. ● Images: shutterstock/Dilok Klaisataporn, shutterstock/Christophe Badouet, shutterstock/Microgen happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Gratitude | Altruism | Acceptance | Ethics & Morals Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

We've all heard of karma, but this concept isn't as simplistic as it first seems. Ann Vrlak explains four different types of karma within Buddhism and Hinduism – sanchita, prarabdha, kriyamana and agami – as well as the idea of collective karma. Karma is sometimes misunderstood as punishment or reward. But, in both Hinduism and Buddhism, it’s seen more simply – and non-judgementally – as “cause and effect.” Karma is a concept that explains some of life’s mysteries, like why one person seems to have bad luck and another succeeds at everything they do. It explains how your thoughts and actions ripple through not just your own life, but through multiple lives and the world around you. Hinduism and Buddhism have an elaborate teaching about the different types of karma – how they’re formed, how quickly their effects come into being, and how much our choices can influence those effects. These teachings are interwoven with the idea of a repeating cycle of birth and death. This cycle ends when a person achieves enlightenment and is freed of karma. It’s helpful to think of karma as planting seeds. When you’re a gardener, you know that not every seed will “come to fruition.” There are many factors that help or harm a plant’s growth. Thinking of your thoughts and actions as seeds makes karma easier to understand. Exploring 4 Types of Karma Different cultures and religions have their own variants of karma, but within Hinduism there are four main types of karma: sanchita, prarabdha, kriyamana and agami. Let's take a closer look at each karma type with some examples of each and the spiritual lessons you can take away. 1. Sanchita Karma: Stored Karma from the Past Sanchita karma is a immense concept! It is seen as your karmic “archive” – the complete storehouse of actions that haven’t yet “come to fruition.” They may have gathered over many lifetimes or from earlier chapters in your current life. Out of this vast archive, only a small part becomes active at any given time. What This Karma Type Might Look Like Someone grows up with a strong desire to work with animals, even though this isn’t particularly valued in their family or culture. This could be an example of sanchita karma, a store of positive karma about animals carried into the person’s life. Spiritual Lesson This long view of human life and the effects of your actions has two main lessons. First, that you may have patterns from past lives that influence you today. You’re not bound by them, however. Practices like meditation can help you understand these sometimes mysterious patterns. “Different religions have their own variants of karma, but within Hinduism there are four types of karma: sanchita, prarabdha, kriyamana, and agami.” Second, it fosters the belief that what you do today will have effects far beyond what you may see in this lifetime. 2. Prarabdha Karma: Karma that is Ripening Now The piece of sanchita karma that is active in your current life is called prarabdha karma. This type of karma forms the core elements of a person’s life, like their family of origin, and key challenges and gifts. Once prarabdha karma is “switched on,” it can’t be stopped, but you can become aware of it and change how you respond to it. What This Karma Type Might Look Like A person born into a family with ongoing caregiving responsibilities may be living with the effects of prarabdha karma. This karma type can seem like you’re living a storyline that is already written. Spiritual Lesson Prarabdha karma teaches acceptance and equanimity. There may be circumstances and situations in your life that you can’t change, but by letting go of struggle around them you can cultivate deep maturity and peace of mind. 3. Kriyamana Karma: The Karma of Present Time Effort The first two karma types are out of your control – they come into the world with you! Kriyamana karma is different. This type of karma accumulates from actions you take today – how you treat your partner or friends, how you cooperate with colleagues, the states of mind you tolerate. This is where your current actions and choices form your future. In Buddhism, the Eightfold Path offers guidance on how to create positive kriyamana karma. What This Karma Type Might Look Like Maybe you are someone who easily becomes angry if you’re criticized. You decide to learn a relaxing breath practice and use it to have a “pause” before you react. This simple act is a positive seed for a new karmic pattern. Spiritual Lesson In each moment, you’re at the intersection of your past and future. Well, that’s always true! But, in the karmic teachings, your actions and your effort can both disrupt a karmic burden from the past and create a future that reflects who you most want to be. 4. Agami Karma: The Future You’re Building Both the cause and the effects of this karma type happen on a more subtle level. Agami karma is the karma you create through your current actions, but the effects aren’t apparent yet. The cause of agami karma is not just your actions, but your motivation behind them. “Hinduism and Buddhism have an elaborate teaching about the different types of karma – how they’re formed, how quickly their effects come into being, and how much our choices can influence those effects.” So, acting generously in return for some other gain, for example, won’t win you karmic points! You can see agami karma like a stream that feeds into your sanchita karma. What This Karma Type Might Look Like You support environmental causes year after year, driven not by guilt or a desire for praise, but by genuine concern. Seeing direct results in your lifetime may not happen, but your intention becomes part of agami karma. Spiritual Lesson When your helpful actions are supported by an inner intention, you will accumulate the most positive agami karma. How to Live with Karmic Teachings Do you find these karma types pessimistic or optimistic? The message of karmic teachings and practice is not that the course of your life is programmed. It’s actually the opposite. It explains how important your actions are. You are causing ripples in your current life, and even far into a future you can’t now imagine. And there are many things you can do to become aware of your karma and work with it to better your future. Sanchita karma: This type of karma usually shows up in repeating patterns in your life. You can lessen those patterns by noticing them and deliberately choosing different responses. Meditative practices are a powerful tool to become more familiar with your patterns, in a spirit of kindness and curiosity. Prarabdha karma: You can’t “stop the arrow” of prarabdha karma. But, meditative practices can also help you learn how to be with it and lighten its effects on your current life. Kriyamana karma: Your actions and intentions now are what matters. You can build a powerful storehouse of positive karma through everyday, small actions. Agami karma: Here, the motivations behind what you do take on the greatest importance. Agami karma says, “You can’t fool me.” How you think of others and yourself matter just as much as what you do. Collective Karma The belief in karma extends to collective karma. This is an accumulated karmic debt for particular cultures or traditions. You may be part of a group of people that has a long history of discrimination. That experience is infused in your group’s karma. Or, you may come from a culture that centres on caregiving for others. It’s supported by a generational pattern. In fact, karmic teaching says that all of humanity lives in a field of collective karma. From that point of view, your actions are even more important. Takeaway: Types of Karma Whether you are a believer or not, karmic teachings put you at the centre of a vast web of life where we are all connected and affect each other, for better or worse. You choose the seeds you will plant for your own present and future, and for the collective good of everyone. ● Images: shutterstock/AI Generator, shutterstock/VectorFusionArt happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Spirituality | Acceptance | Altruism | Conscious Living Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Is it possible to hack happiness? Sonia Vadlamani explores 8 research-backed strategies that can help us intentionally cultivate greater contentment in our daily lives. Happiness can often feel elusive – all of us wish to lead fulfilling, joyful lives, but ironically, the pursuit can be exhausting. The UN-sponsored World Happiness Report mirrors this paradox, with the rankings for the United States dropping sharply from 15th spot in 2023 to 24th in 2025. Emerging issues like loneliness and inflation have been cited as the major contributors to this decline. The happiness rankings for the United Kingdom continue to plummet too, with the plunge to the 23rd place all the way from 20th the year before. Meanwhile, the country that has consistently topped the World Happiness Ranking for the eighth consecutive year is Finland, sparking global intrigue about what makes the Finnish way of life so favourable and if there’s a way to make these principles – or happiness ‘hacks’ – relevant and actionable for the rest of the world. What are happiness hacks? Happiness hacks are simple, effective strategies devised to boost one’s overall wellbeing and enhance levels. You can think of them as psychological tricks to make yourself happy or simply ‘happy habits’ that, when put consistently into practice, can make a long-term impact. Strengthening social connections is a key happiness hack According to Alex Palmer, New York Times-bestselling author of Happiness Hacks: 100% Scientific! Curiously Effective!, “Small changes today can lead to big changes tomorrow. And that’s where happiness starts.” In essence, happiness hacks are small, intentional changes that can result in significant improvements in one’s mood, outlook, and life-satisfaction levels. So, how can I increase my happiness? While your genetic makeup and life circumstances do influence your happiness baseline to a great extent, research suggests that happiness can also be a conscious choice. Boosting happiness levels requires intentional effort on one’s behalf, and the happiness hacks listed here can help improve your wellbeing levels over time. 8 happiness hacks that deliver We’ve gathered some evidence-based insights – some familiar, others unexpected – to make the pursuit of happiness more achievable (and enjoyable). Here are eight happiness hacks or strategies to help you lead a more meaningful, joy-filled life. 1. Strengthen your social connections A groundbreaking Harvard study involving 724 participants over 85 years found that the most important key to a happy life isn’t wealth or success but having strong, healthy relationships. In other words, hacking happiness begins with developing enriching social connections and nurturing relationships that matter to you. RELATED: The 6 Qualities of True Friendship The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits No Friends? Here's How to Make New Ones as an Adult To keep these relationships healthy and enriching, experts suggest practicing ‘social fitness,’ which refers to taking stock of one’s friendships and connections, evaluating these social connections and devising a realistic plan to devote time and effort to strengthen them. 2. Spend time in nature Spending time outdoors in nature has been linked to numerous physical and mental health benefits, including better heart health, lesser stress levels, and even lower mortality rates, according to Heather Eliassen, professor of nutrition and epidemiology at Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health. She explains, “Exposure to green space results in mental restoration and increased positive emotions and decreased anxiety and rumination.” “Happiness hacks are simple, effective strategies devised to boost one’s overall wellbeing and enhance happiness levels. You can think of them as psychological tricks to make yourself happy.” Another study links spending 120 minutes a week in nature to wellbeing and happiness. Hacking happiness, therefore, can be as simple as reconnecting with nature by stepping out to soak up some sunshine or taking a peaceful stroll in a park as you breathe fresh air. Take this happiness hack further by incorporating the calming power of meditation and try meditating in nature. 3. Break a sweat Regular physical activity is well-documented for improving overall wellbeing, relieving stress, and alleviating signs of depression. So, if you’re wondering how to hack happiness, get your blood pumping with a form of exercise you enjoy, be it strength training, Zumba, swimming, or dancing. Even a brisk 20-minute walk can elevate your mood by triggering the release of endorphins – your body’s ‘feel-good’ hormones that promote relaxation and a positive attitude. Hike in the hills and combine two happiness hacks at once (nature and exercise) 4. Healthy food, healthy mood A growing body of research supports the idea that you are what you eat. Simply put, since food fuels your brain and body to perform their required functions, the quality and composition of the food determine how you feel and function. What you eat has a direct effect on your brain function and mood. RELATED: The Gut-Brain Axis: Understanding Mood and Food Additionally, studies indicate a strong connection between gut health and emotional wellbeing, with any imbalance in the gut microbiome potentially resulting in low mood and signs of depression. Thus, hacking happiness can begin on your plate, preferably with a balanced diet consisting of lean proteins, green leafy vegetables, legumes and healthy fats. 5. Invest in therapy Sometimes, even with all the psychological tricks to make yourself happy, you may find your inner fears and limiting beliefs holding you back. In such situations, taking the next step toward a fulfilling life may feel challenging without external support, such as good counselling. In fact, a 2009 study by the University of Warwick and the University of Manchester found that therapy could be up to 32 times more effective at making you happier than making more money through a pay raise or a lottery win. While the idea of seeking therapy can feel daunting, understanding that it may help uncover your authentic potential and propel you toward your best self can make it a step worth taking. 6. Minimize your choices Living in the digital age has conditioned us to believe that having more choice means more freedom. However, it can also result in decision fatigue. As a matter of fact, an experiment by Stanford professor Baba Shiv uncovered that facing a constant multitude of choices can place a ‘cognitive load’ on the brain, negatively impacting your decision-making ability and mental peace. Therefore, if you’re wondering how to hack happiness, try narrowing your choices – not by avoiding or delaying decisions, but by streamlining your decision-making process. 7. Experience the magic of novelty often While a set routine can boost productivity, introducing novelty occasionally in your schedule can enhance your wellbeing and spark happiness, according to a 2020 study published in Nature Neuroscience. “People feel happier when they have more variety in their daily routines – when they go to novel places and have a wider array of experiences,” explains Catherine Hartley, assistant professor at New York University's department of psychology and co-author of this study. “Hacking happiness begins with developing enriching social connections and nurturing relationships that matter to you.” So, if you’ve been feeling stuck or bored with life, it may be time to embrace the magic of novelty. Liz Moody, the creator of the viral neuroplasticity hack ‘Novelty Rule,’ emphasizes that these novel experiences don’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. Instead, hacking happiness through novelty could be as simple as brushing your teeth with non-dominant hand, a tiny addition in your routine, such as creative journaling, learning a language, or a new experiment in the kitchen. Travel can be a way to welcome novelty as well. “You needn’t even go very far,” Karyn Hall, author of The Emotionally Sensitive Person, explained to Psychology Today: “Even a day trip to a nearby town can offer fresh sights and experiences.” You may be surprised by how many hidden gems exist not far from your doorstep! 8. Practice gratitude Humans are wired for negativity by default, but research suggests that expressing gratitude can help us shift our focus through enhanced neural sensitivity toward positive experiences. Robert Emmons, psychologist and professor at UC Davis, emphasized gratitude's social power in an article for Greater Good Magazine: “I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion, because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.” Daily gratitude journalling can build happiness levels Indeed, daily gratitude journaling can be an effective way to start hacking happiness – take 5 or 10 minutes to write down three things you’re grateful for and one meaningful experience you had the previous day. This happiness hack will gradually train your mind to embrace a positive outlook. What are Helsinki happiness hacks? According to a BBC report, some of the factors contributing to Finland’s robust happiness index can be attributed to the presence of a strong social welfare system, the country’s commitment to equality and well-being for its citizens, and low levels of corruption. “Daily gratitude journaling can be an effective way to start hacking happiness – take 5 or 10 minutes to write down three things you’re grateful for.” In addition to the institutional strengths, Finland’s cultural emphasis on spending more time in its abundance of nature plus the inherent attitude of resilience and strength in the Finnish people – known locally as sisu – are two of the widely-known wellness practices – or the so-called Helsinki happiness hacks – that contribute to their sustained overall happiness levels as well. Takeaway: How can I make myself happy? While happiness hacks are effective tools grounded in psychological research, these strategies may not always guarantee consistent happiness for everyone. In fact, a 2018 study found that the constant pursuit of happiness may sometimes leave you feeling not happy at all – mainly since striving too hard to be happy can ironically consume all the time one can spend being happy. That’s why it’s important to stay connected to your authentic self and understand what fulfills you – this self-awareness can render these happiness hacks more effective. Try being more intentional about living in the present – and make room to focus on the good mood here and now! ● Images: shutterstock/Tint Media, shutterstock/Vergani Fotografia, shutterstock/alexgo. photography happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Neuroscience | Stress management | Nature Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Shamanism and shamanic healing has its roots in Indigenous communities, but its popularity is growing in the West. If you're curious about incorporating shamanic energy healing into your healthcare, Rhianna Quanstrom outlines what to expect. Shamanic healing is one of the oldest healing modalities known to humanity. Shamanism is a spiritual technology, a way of life, and a method for addressing emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual challenges. Traditionally, shamans play many key roles in Indigenous societies, both past and present. One of their main roles in the community is that of a healer. As such, there are specific techniques that shamans use for healing, which are quite different from Western allopathic medicine. Today, shamanic healing techniques are becoming increasingly common in Western society. There are many trained shamanic practitioners available who use traditional healing methods with their clients. Additionally, shamanic healing is not dependent on seeing a shamanic practitioner. As a meditation method, anyone can learn how to embark on a shamanic journey and receive direct healing from their own spirit guides. In this blog, we’ll discuss what shamanic healing is, briefly explore the “shamanic journey,” and talk about what to expect from a shamanic healing session (and whether or not it’s right for you). What is Shamanic Healing? There are two main ways to experience shamanic healing: one is by seeing a shamanic practitioner, and the other is by going on your own shamanic healing journey through a guided or self-led meditation. So, what is a shaman and what does a shaman do exactly? Drumming is used by shamanic practitioner to enter a trance A shaman is an energy healer who works with the invisible, or “unseen,” realm to facilitate healing in the physical realm. When seeing a practitioner, they use shamanic energy healing techniques to address your imbalances and discomforts. It is a gentle and non-invasive modality. Essentially, the shamanic practitioner goes into a trance state – usually by drumming, rattling, or singing – and “scans” your energy field. By scanning your field, they may pick up on imbalances such as stagnant or harmful energy or deep emotional wounds. During this process, the shaman communicates with their spirit guides, who inform them of what is most important to address with the client. “Shamanic healing is one of the oldest healing modalities known to humanity. Shamanism is a spiritual technology, a way of life, and a method for addressing emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual challenges.” Shamanic energy healing, therefore, simply requires you to relax and be open to the process. The shaman does the work of extracting harmful energy or sending healing energy to your wounds. They may also perform a soul retrieval, invite your power back, or welcome in your power animal to guide you. The Shamanic Journey Along with seeing a practitioner, you can experience shamanic energy healing within yourself by going on a meditative shamanic journey. This journey can be guided by a shaman, or you can learn the technique through a book or workshop and perform it yourself. Sandra Ingerman, a licensed psychotherapist and shamanic practitioner, describes the shamanic journey in her book,Walking in Light: “One of the major ceremonies that a shaman performs is the shamanic journey. Performing a shamanic journey is how we can use the ancient art of shamanism for practical and visionary purposes in our daily life. It is a way to meet up with helping spirits in the invisible realms to access information and gain insights on how you can improve your life or to ask for healing help”. During shamanic energy healing, a practitioner connects with spirit guides Before starting the shamanic journey, you set an intention. In this case, it could be to receive healing from a spirit guide. To begin, you enter a trance state through drumming, ratting, dancing, or singing. Then, you travel to “another realm” through your conscious imagination. These realms are traditionally designated as the Upper, Middle, and Lower Worlds. In one of these realms, you meet one or more helping spirits. These can come in the form of animals, plants, mythical creatures, dieties, your ancestors, or humans. Once you meet your helping spirit, you can ask them for healing. They may offer advice, reveal what needs to change in your life, or perform a healing ceremony for you. During the shamanic journey, you are not necessarily “controlling” what you see. In other words, you let the vision come to you, without force, and allow curiosity to guide you. How Does Shamanic Healing Differ From Other Energy Healing Techniques? Shamanic energy healing is generally more complex and varied than other techniques. Modalities like Reiki or chakra healing do not involve the practitioner entering the spirit realm to commune with helping spirits. That aspect is unique to shamanism. Shamanic healing sessions can vary widely. Because the shaman communicates with their spirit guides – or the client’s spirit guides or ancestors – they may receive highly specific information about what healing is most needed. Then, the shaman performs the healing or shares the messages they received. With Reiki, for example, the practitioner channels universal life force energy into their client’s body. While this healing is powerful and can offer insights, it's different from the experimental and visionary nature of shamanic healing. Shamanic Healing: What to Expect If you go to a shamanic practitioner for healing, it’s common to fill out a form with basic information about yourself and what you wish to address. Then, you most likely will lay on a comfortable table in a private room where you’re invited to close your eyes and relax. The shamanic practitioner may play a drumming track or drum/rattle themselves to enter a trance state. They might also play relaxing music to help you settle into a peaceful, meditative state. “Shamanic energy healing requires you to relax and be open to the process. The shaman does the work of extracting harmful energy or sending healing energy to your wounds.” The shaman will then perform their healing or guide you into a journey if that most serves. At the end, there will be time for discussion, where the shaman shares what they saw and relay any messages that you are meant to hear. Every shamanic practitioner has their own unique approach, but this a general outline of what you can expect. If you decide to go on your own shamanic journey to receive healing, the best advice is to have no expectations. Hold your intention close while letting go and surrendering to the journey. Be sure to ground yourself afterward by spending time in nature, eating nourishing food, and reflecting on your experience. Is Shamanic Healing Right For Me? If you're open to healing on a spiritual level – and you wish to connect with your spirit guides and the healing wisdom of nature – shamanism may be right for you. However, it’s important to know that shamanic healing is not a “quick fix.” It likely won’t immediately take away your pain or “cure” any condition. You may experience these results over a period of time with consistency and integration. Instant healings do happen, but they are rare. Traditional Mongolian shaman Along that note, shamanic energy healing should not replace conventional medical care. It's a complementary healing method that can greatly support one’s healing journey. Indeed, shamanic healing has the potential to benefit anyone due to how personalized it is to each person’s experience. How Can I Find a Shamanic Healer? To find a shamanic healer in your area, start by researching alternative medicine practitioners. If there’s a local wellness centre that offers holistic treatments, check their website or call to see if they offer shamanic healing sessions. “Shamanism is a powerful healing modality that connects you directly with your spirit guides and facilitates deep transformation.” If you find a shamanic practitioner near you, it’s important to research them thoroughly. Read about them and their reviews, and check in with your intuition before seeing them. You want to meet with someone who is genuine and trustworthy. Takeaway: Shamanic Healing Shamanism is a powerful healing modality that connects you directly with your spirit guides and facilitates deep transformation. It can be a personal practice that one integrates into their everyday life, or it can be a healing session with a trained shamanic practitioner. Whatever form of shamanic energy healing you decide to explore – whether with a practitioner or on your own – you’re likely to receive revelations, insights, and clarity on your healing journey. Most importantly, shamanism is about connecting to your inner wisdom and light. In this way, it's a personal spiritual practice that can bring greater peace, clarity, and fulfilment to one’s life. ● Images: shutterstock/CW Pix, shutterstock/Jozef Klopacka, shutterstock/Zolotarevs Written by Rhianna Quanstrom Rhianna Quanstrom is a freelance writer, herbalist, and spiritual seeker with a passion for nature-based healing and sacred wisdom. Her writing draws from years of experience with meditation, shamanic practices, plant medicine, dream work, and the reclamation of the Sacred Feminine. Discover more of her writing and poetry on her Mystic Love Substack.

Choosing kindness over negativity or indifference may not be our default setting, but we can cultivate it over time through consistent action. Sonia Vadlamani suggests 7 ways in which we can always be kind towards others – and ourselves, too. The discussion around kindness has heightened ever since the COVID-19 pandemic unfolded, perhaps owing to the rise of various aid groups during lockdowns and contingencies, or because the interruption of life as we knew it caused us to reconsider our priorities and values. Indeed, kindness is undoubtedly considered one of the most prized social currencies, in addition to being the cornerstone for humankind’s virtues. Philosophers and spiritual gurus have hailed the virtue of kindness as a potent gift for centuries, while academic researchers and psychologists have conducted considerable research centered on the power of kindness. Still, at some point in our lives, most of us have been denied a more compassionate approach by someone, or have disregarded the option to extend kindness towards others. Some of us may have been bullied online or received a harsh response to a genuine query, and at times we’ve regretted our indifferent or judgmental behavior towards others. With the wide-ranging benefits of kindness so well known, why do we need to be reminded to choose kindness – why don’t we 'just be kind' all the time? Why we should always choose kindness It's fair to wonder why we should have to 'choose' kindness, rather than it being our natural state. However, our perennially busy and fast-paced lives may have rendered us indifferent to the suffering and problems of those around us. Furthermore, our inherent negativity bias may persuade us to react strongly to unfavorable or unpleasant outcomes, instead of assessing the situation in a more objective light. RELATED: What Goes Around Comes Around: Is Karma Real? Additionally, human beings are wired to judge others according to their character and actions, while they tend to judge themselves based on the situation. This tendency – also known as “fundamental attribution error” – is based on the inconsistency in our reaction towards other people’s actions or views. While we may attribute our failures or decisions to the circumstances we were caught up in during a situation, we do not readily assess other people’s behavior and problems in the same understanding manner. For instance, if I ever park too close to someone else’s car, then I must have had an emergency, and hence it should be forgiven as a one-off incident. However, if someone else parked outside their line so that their vehicle encroaches on my parking spot, then they must be irresponsible and need to be taught a lesson! Does this line of thinking seem familiar to you? Donating goods – or time – to a food bank is one way to choose kindness Indeed, choosing kindness can bring about a much-needed shift in the way we judge. Always being kind can teach us to look carefully and objectively at the way we react to external stimuli and assess the circumstances before we react in a rude or harsh manner. How to Always Be Kind “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible,” as the 14th Dalai Lama famously stated. Choosing kindness poses several benefits for us and others around us, yet costs nothing. To cultivate kindness as a daily practice, Dr Tara Cousineau – renowned psychotherapist and author of The Kindness Cure – suggests that we ponder over the question: how can I bring kindness into my day, in any small way? “Choosing kindness can bring about the much-needed shift in the way we judge. Being kind can teach us to look carefully and objectively at the way we react to external stimuli. Always be kind.” “Kindness is not random,” says Dr Cousineau. She explains that choosing kindness intentionally requires us to be compassionate, considerate, understanding and forgiving in a consistent manner, even on the days we may not feel like it. Authentic kindness requires genuine intention and effort on our part. The process of always being kind may gradually get easier once we start experiencing the joy or cheer that being kind sparks in others. How Does Choosing Kindness Benefit Us? Being kind comes with a wealth of research-backed benefits. Acting kindly can make us feel less anxious, and can ease social avoidance tendencies, allowing us to form meaningful connections. Kindness can also combat psychological distress and alleviate depression. A study by Dr Hans Kirschner from the University of Exeter revealed that being kind switches off our inbuilt threat response, allowing us to feel safe and relaxed. In turn, this promotes tissue regeneration and healing in the body. This ability to switch off the threat response can reduce the onset of disease and boost our well-being. 7 ways to choose kindness every day Cultivating kindness in our daily routine begins with consistent action. Researcher Helen Weng compares the ability to practice kindness with the science of weightlifting, wherein one can build their ‘compassion muscle’ and get more adept at helping others with sufficient practise. So, here are seven ways in which we can try to choose to be kind and considerate every day: 1. Create a kindness plan It's possible to choose kindness in the way of small gestures and little things that can spread happiness and brighten someone’s day. Jot down one act of kindness for each day of the month – for others and yourself – that you can carry out, thus encouraging the neural pathways in your brain towards embracing positivity and compassion. The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation shares a comprehensive list of kindness ideas that can be carried out with minimal effort. Some examples of random acts of kindness can include: Buying a few extra items at the supermarket for donations – many supermarkets now have designated areas where you can leave produce. Alternatively, look into ways of donating to food banks. Complimenting a stranger in a good-natured manner. Befriending an elderly person to help them combat loneliness: inviting them for a chat over a coffee. Supporting local businesses by buying their products. 2. Practise compassionate listening Offering someone our undivided attention in the form of mindful listening can be a simple, effective and free way to choose kindness. Remember, it is essential to keep all technological distractions and our inner judgmental voice at bay while we listen compassionately. 3. Donate or raise funds for charity A 2010 survey conducted by Harvard Business School pointed out that individuals who were more generous financially and made sizeable charitable donations measured highest for overall happiness levels. The study revealed that prosocial spending, or utilizing one’s financial resources to help others resulted in improved emotional well-being. RELATED: Money Can't Buy Happiness (Except When You Spend it Like This!) Raising funds for animal welfare, organizing a fundraiser for the care of cancer patients at your local hospital, helping a neighbor who may be facing a crisis by organizing a charity drive, etc. are some of the ways you could bring about a positive change by choosing kindness. A litter pick shows kindness to the planet 4. Choose to be kind online While the advent of social media has made us more aware and conscious, unfortunately it also has given rise to rampant cyberbullying, and hostile behavior based on one’s appearance, ethnicity, gender stereotypes, and personal beliefs, etc. RELATED: Adult Bullying And How to Deal With It We can choose kindness online by encouraging positive messages, spreading cheer and love instead of hate, and ignoring negative or hateful content. Even when we disagree with someone, it's always possible to do so in an objective and respectable manner. 5. Choose kindness for the planet While gardening offers several mental health benefits as a hobby, it can contribute towards greener and cleaner living spaces as well. Finding small ways to reduce our carbon footprint and adopting more sustainable practices like picking up litter, packing a waste-free lunch, carrying your own tote to grocery shop, etc, can go a long way to improve the world around us. 6. Practise kindness at work It's important to remember that your employees and coworkers have their own challenges, hidden from plain sight. Leading with compassion can improve morale, boost productivity and ensure higher employee retention, according to research. “Choosing kindness intentionally requires us to be compassionate, considerate, understanding and forgiving in a consistent manner, even on the days we may not feel like it.” Leaders in service industry – and hospitality sector in particular – quite possibly realize the importance of choosing “habitual kindness”, in attempts to deliver experiences that customers will remember forever. Indeed, consumer decisions are often based on how well their expectations were met and the collective experience, so if you find yourself being loyal to a particular brand or service provider, it's probably because their leadership drives down kindness as their core value. 7. Choose to be kind to yourself Always being kind towards yourself becomes more crucial than ever during adverse times, or when you are feeling low. After all, it’s harder to practice kindness towards others when you’re stressed or overwhelmed. Befriending yourself gently through self-compassion and self-care is the first step towards choosing kindness. Psychologist Kristen Neff suggests establishing helpful self-compassion breaks when you find that you’re stressed or being too harsh on yourself. Place a hand over your heart and practice saying to yourself: “May I regard myself in a gentler, fair light”, or, “May I bring kindness to this moment, even when I’m stressed.” These self-compassion statements will help you centre your attention back to choosing kindness for yourself. The takeaway: choosing kindness As the famous saying goes, “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”. While we may not remember every person we ever met by their name, we are likely to remember each act of kindness rendered to us. Indeed, choosing kindness as a daily practice can offer a host of physiological and psychological benefits. Deciding to always be kind – especially in situations where our inner voice is telling us to escalate conflict – may take some practice, but it can also create long-lasting happiness for others, as well as ourselves. ● Images: shutterstock/BAZA Production, shutterstock/Dragon Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Compassion | Altruism | Empathy Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Many of us tend to shy away from the discomfort of uncertainty. However, as psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains, embracing the unknown and adapting to new situations often leads to personal growth and increased strength. The art of embracing the unknown should be a mandatory school subject. It is a skill most of us lack – which is only natural – and all of us necessitate. I am not an adventurist. It is probably not cool to admit that about yourself, but that is how it is. I have tried to avoid terrains that were out of my comfort zone for my whole life. Indeed, I am not the kind of person who will leave everything and go to Nepal to see how things will pan out. I do admire those people – but I am not one of them. However, no matter how fond of certainty I may be, life has got it in for me. Yes, it is unpredictable by definition. And always will be. Take the COVID-19 pandemic, for example. No one saw it coming. Many people had to make changes to how they work, socialise, live. It was a great unknown – and still is – but we have had to embrace the changes it has brought. Indeed, there will always be uncertainty in everybody’s life. So, how do we learn to accept and adapt to it? How can we embrace the unknown? Embracing the unknown and personality One of the most well-known, established, and used psychological tests, BIG-5, resides on an empirically confirmed assumption about five broad personality traits. One of those traits is openness to experience. This trait includes the following aspects: active imagination (fantasy) aesthetic sensitivity attentiveness to inner feelings preference for variety (adventurousness) intellectual curiosity challenging authority (psychological liberalism) People who score low on this scale are more conventional in their thinking and behaviour. They are usually closed to the unknown and new experiences. Such an individual prefers regular routines over new experiences. Open new doors and welcome the unknown Conversely, according to research, someone who has high openness to experience might have a broader range of interests. They could be more creative and knowledgeable because they are fine with uncertainty. In other words, such a person is not reluctant to jump right into new information and experience. Changing perspective to welcome the unknown Therefore, some people are simply more open to experiences. That is their personality trait. However, it only means embracing the unknown and the uncertainty of life comes naturally to them. It does not mean you cannot learn to shift your perspective and do the same. Let us explore several argument points that will help you shift your perspective from being afraid of uncertainty to embracing uncertainty. 1. Realise that everything is impermanent Obviously, nothing lasts for ever. But we secretly hope good things do. This is why we are so afraid of uncertainty. However, when you think about it, you will realise that you have never been 100 per cent certain about how things will unfold. Also, nothing ever stayed the same. All things pass. When you accept this thought, you might start feeling more confident about facing the unknown. 2. Letting go of attachment is beneficial When we cling to things and people, we suffer. It is one of the four noble truths in Buddhism. Attachment, albeit a natural human feeling, has a dark side to it. When you are attached to something, be it good, bad, or neutral, you become convinced you cannot go on without it. “Embrace the unknown. Uncertainty is everywhere, whether you like it or not. It is the path towards true joy and openness to life’s wonders.” When you learn to let go of past hurts, hopes or anxieties about the future, you can then go with the flow of life and enjoy it without fear. 3. Every new path and experience means growth You always learn when you try something new, regardless of how successful or not you might have been. And with learning comes growth. It was once believed that we were born with all the neurons we would ever have. Nonetheless, we now know that new neurons get formed during adulthood, too. The same goes for new neural pathways. If your counterargument is: “It might be painful”, remember all the instances in which you endured pain for the sake of growth. Start with teething as an infant, for example. You would not relinquish your teeth because it hurt a little, would you not? Embrace the unknown: every new path means growth 4. Surviving the unknown makes you stronger It may be a cliché, but think of the unknown and uncertainty as an opportunity to survive and become stronger because of it. RELATED: Following Your Bliss: 5 Steps to Get Started The Time is Now: How to Stop Worrying About the Future One Upside to the Feeling of Uncertainty Unpredictable situations will arise, that is certain. They all bear valuable life lessons, no matter how petty or profound they may be. When you overcome obstacles and swim back out to the surface after a storm, you find yourself tougher and wiser than before. 5. There is always one thing you can control: your reactions When you fear uncertainty, you fear the loss of control. However, know that you can always control one thing, no matter what happens to you. Your reactions are absolutely in your power. Whatever happens, you will decide how to respond. We may not be able to control much of what happens to us in life, but we can choose how to handle the circumstances. So, ultimately, you do have control over uncertainty because you command your thoughts and behaviours. 6. The unknown can make life exciting Embracing the unknown comes with a recognition of the mysteriousness of life. Even though your first response might be: “Yes, I want to know my future!” upon closer introspection, you might be surprised. “To embrace the unknown is to live the life as it was meant to be lived — being surprised by all its miracles.” Indeed, a recent study from the University of Granada confirmed that most people do not really want to know what lies ahead. In fact, only 1 per cent of people consistently said they would want to know their future. Furthermore, between 40-70 per cent of participants in the study said they would not even want to know about the positive events in their future. The numbers for negative events are even higher – 85-90 per cent would not want to find out ahead about adversities that await them. To embrace the unknown is to live the life as it was meant to be lived — being surprised by all its miracles. Embrace Uncertainty: 6 Ways So, how can we learn to embrace the unknown if it is not our second skin? How do we learn to accept uncertainty and even enjoy it? Here are some ideas on how to stretch your comfort zone little by little: Stop overthinking and overplanning Trust your ability to land on your feet, no matter what happens. The next time you have a decision to make, embrace the unknown and do not try to predict your distant future. Stick with the immediate facts and choices. Learn to live in the present moment Another Buddhistic wisdom we all would benefit from – living in the now. We cannot change the past. We cannot predict the future. While we are trying the latter, we are missing out on the only thing we do have – the present moment. Indulge in spur-of-the-moment experiences I am not propagating recklessness or risky/unhealthy behaviour. However, when things are safe, do allow yourself some impulsiveness. I am talking about an unplanned trip with your friends, for example. Even taking an unplanned route to work or anywhere else could help you practice embracing the unknown. Do not compare your past experiences with what is happening right now. If you do, you might start acting on the basis of what had happened sometime before, not what is going on right now. And you could fear the outcomes that once ensued – but you do not know what will happen this time. Switch fear for curiosity A 2021 study published in Current Psychology revealed that mindfulness truly contributes to meaning in life. However, this relationship is mediated by curiosity and openness to experience. In other words, when you decide to be curious about what happens next, you will learn to embrace the unknown and uncertainty and, at the same time, help other beneficial psychological processes to evolve freely. Exercise gratitude When you develop the habit of being grateful, you also learn to notice how every situation brings something to be thankful for. Such a skill will help you embrace the unknown because you know that every cloud has a silver lining. Takeaway: Embracing the Unknown Uncertainty will always be a part of life. This is a given. And, paradoxically, the more you try to prepare for the unpredictable, the more surprised you may become. I am not saying you should give up on acquiring information, planning or developing your skill-set. You should always strive to be the most resilient and resourceful version of yourself. However, if you see the unknown as the enemy, chances are, you will not be able to enjoy the variety of life. The unknown comes with both the good and the bad. If you only expect enjoyable experiences and avoid anything new for your fear of adversities, you might miss out on half of life. So, embrace the unknown. Uncertainty is everywhere, whether you like it or not. When you welcome it into your existence, you will be at peace. Embracing the unknown is the path towards true joy and openness to life’s wonders. • Images: shutterstock/everst, shutterstock/StunningArt happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Courage | Assertiveness Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

The laws of karma say that everything we do in life – good or bad – has consequences: what goes around comes around. Ann Vrlak explores the meaning of karma in buddhism and hinduism and ponders the question: is karma real? Karma is an interesting notion, isn’t it? It’s actually an Eastern concept that’s become common in Western cultures. It’s understood to mean “what goes around comes around”, or we say someone “has good karma” if things always seem to go their way. The Eastern meaning of karma, that originated in Hinduism and Buddhism, has a deeper meaning and intent. So, what is karma and how does karma work? Here's an introduction to what karma is and isn’t, and how different religions define it. What Karma Means Though karma has various meanings depending on the religion, at its core it means “the law of cause and effect” – that the things we do have consequences for us. If you knowingly lie to someone, for example, it ripples out like a negative wave that sooner or later comes back to you. Or, if you show kindness to a stranger in trouble, something positive will return to you. RELATED: The Power of Kindness: the Ripple Effect of Being Nice Human Kindness: Why We Need it More Than Ever 7 Ways to Choose Kindness Every Day What karma is not is a punishment. It is simply a principle of life, religious traditions say, that will help followers lead a harmonious inner and outer life. Is karma real? That’s up to you to decide! Let's consider the religious and social value of believing it is. Different Religions See Karma a Bit Differently Let's look a bit more in depth at how two major Eastern religions – buddhism and hinduism – integrate karma into their teachings. 1. Hinduism What if your actions shaped not only your current life, but your next life as well? Hinduism takes a long view of human existence, that our lives are an ongoing cycle of life, death, and rebirth. So, harmful actions create what is called “karmic debt” – a burden that you carry into your next life. Religions that believe in karma say this explains why some people have life patterns that aren’t easily explained by their life circumstances. When they were born, the effects of their past negative actions came with them. Karma: what goes around, comes around But, the good news is, the opposite is true for a person who lives an honest, moral life. They do not carry a lot of karma into their next life to be “worked out.” Their time in the cycle of life is shorter than someone who carries a heavy karmic debt across many lives or “incarnations”. There are also different types of karma in Hinduism, and all are connected closely to the concept of dharma. You’ll see karmic concepts in Jainism, Sikhism, and some New Age philosophies, too. 2. Buddhism Like Hinduism, Buddhism frames karma simply as consequences of intentional action, not punishment. Buddhism teaches than intention is everything; that the quality of mind behind your actions determines the karmic effects. In part, this speaks to unintentional harms you cause that do not affect your karma, but knowingly acting in a way that harms others or even yourself creates karma in the form of mental and moral consequences. “Though karma has various meanings depending on the religion, at its core it means “the law of cause and effect” – what goes around comes around.” The Buddha left believers a comprehensive roadmap to follow. In the Eightfold Path and the Five Precepts, he clearly describes actions that create positive vs negative karma. Buddhism also shares the Hindu understanding that karma affects the cycle of rebirth. Someone with a dense karmic debt, Buddhists believe, will be reborn again and again until they clear their karma through moral living. And what if a person eventually achieves enlightenment? They experience nirvana and are freed from the karmic cycle. Dharma vs karma A related concept in both Buddhism and Hinduism is dharma. Dharma is each person’s ethical path through life, as defined by their chosen religion. It explains how karma works: it is the result of how well a person follows their path. Dharma in Hinduism is a form of social moral code that governs individual behaviour. It describes a life that values duty and religious observance. When you stray from your dharma, you create negative karma. Karma helps you lead a harmonious inner and outer life Buddhism, on the other hand, grounds dharma directly in the teachings of the Buddha. Specifically, dharma refers to the fundamental laws of nature that all beings are subject to. It is less concerned with the social definition of dharma and more with the need to live in harmony with natural law to create positive karma. In both religions, it is not a question of dharma vs karma, but dharma and karma. Together, these principles show followers how to fulfil their spiritual responsibility. How Does Karma Work? One of the best metaphors for karma is planting seeds. Karma doesn’t have an immediate result, but takes root and spreads throughout a person’s life or lifetimes. Picture a beautiful garden where you plant 100 tulip bulbs, rather than just one. And you keep the garden watered, pull the weeds and nourish it with nutrients that help it thrive. “One of the best metaphors for karma is planting seeds. Karma doesn’t have an immediate result, but takes root and spreads in a person’s life or lifetimes.” Positive karma is like that. Your acts, your intentions, your attention all help your good actions take root and grow. And you can imagine another garden that becomes overgrown with weeds through inattention or active harm. Karma is a complex, interwoven process where – sooner or later – you “reap what you sow.” Karma Symbols You may have seen a karma symbol without knowing it! The most common are the endless knot and the wheel of samsara. Karma symbols include the wheel of samsara (left) These symbols are used in religious texts and artwork as a reminder of the principles of karma. The elaborate karma symbol designs suggest the interconnectedness and cyclical nature of all life. As objects of contemplation, these symbols are believed to expand a person’s ability to grasp the complexity and scope of life. OK, but is Karma Real? Of course, there is no scientific way to prove that karma – or the cycle of rebirth that it fuels – exists. It is a core concept that these religions believe helps us to understand this larger view of our lives. Karma helps Hindus and Buddhists to use the law of karma to guide their behaviour toward other beings. Within psychology, karma is often seen as a common sense idea. If you treat others poorly, you may be treated poorly in return and vice versa. But, karma encompasses the idea of self-harm, too. When you harm others, you harm yourself because you have acted against social or universal principles. “There is no scientific way to prove that karma exists. Within psychology, karma is often seen as a common sense idea. If you treat others poorly, you may be treated poorly in return.” Whether karma is real or not, it is a deeply powerful idea that shapes the lives of millions of people. It puts individualism in a different light. Our personal actions and even our thoughts count. They affect us – and everyone around us – much more profoundly than we may think. Takeaway: What Goes Around Comes Around Another way to understand karma is as a moral or spiritual compass. Particularly in modern living, there are so many choices and decisions to make every day. How do you know what to do and where to go? Karma points the way to living according to your dharma. Whether karma is “real” or not, it encourages all of us to believe that our personal actions matter beyond the moment and beyond our own lives. It’s a guide to living with positive intention that is aligned with an expanded view of our humanity. ● Images: shutterstock/ADragan, shutterstock/mr_owlman happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Gratitude | Acceptance | Altruism | Conscious Living | Kindness Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Shamanism is an ancient spiritual practice that is often misunderstood. Writer and spiritual seeker Rhianna Quanstrom debunks some of the myths about shamanism, explaining what a shaman does exactly and why their help is called upon. Shamanism is an ancient spiritual modality still used today. It is both a practice and a way of life; it is a doing and a being. While it is an ancient tradition, shamanism has evolved with humanity and remains relevant in today’s society. By practicing shamanism, anyone can experience a deeper connection to their spirituality, nature, and the world at large. Even though it’s still practiced today, shamanism is not widely known or well understood. Because of this, we’ll explore the basics of shamanism and address some common questions, including what shamanism is and what a shaman does. So, What is Shamanism? Shamanism is a method of entering an altered state of consciousness to connect with the spirit world. This is often done to facilitate healing and change in the physical world. Through visualization and meditation, one can take a shamanic journey to the “unseen world.” In that space, one can meet with their helping spirits to receive guidance or healing. Because the shamanic journey is a personal experience, shamanism is a spiritual practice, not a religion. Religion focuses on belief, doctrine, tradition, and ritual. While shamanism has some of these components, it is based on a direct, personal connection to the spirit world rather than worship of a specific deity or adherence to a formal set of religious principles. Shamanic drumming often is part of a ritual In fact, it predates religion and is often considered the foundation for all modern spiritual traditions. Every culture has shamanic spiritual roots, and many Indigenous communities still practice traditional forms of shamanism today. Because shamanism is found across the globe, there are cultural differences in how it is practiced. However, some core values and practices are universally shared. For instance, there is a fundamental belief in two realms or dimensions of reality: the seen and the unseen. The seen world is normal “waking” reality as we know it. The “unseen” world lies just beyond our everyday consciousness and is where spirit dwells. RELATED: Ayahusca Company Retreat: Spirituality At Work Non Duality: What it Is, What it Isn't, and Basic Teachings What Is a Lightworker and What Do They Do Exactly? Across cultures, shamanism emphasizes respect for and connection to the natural world: a belief that we are all interconnected in the web of life. As such, all of nature – the elements, plants, animals, and ecosystems – is deeply honored and seen as sacred and sentient. What is a Shaman? “Shaman” is a term that is often used inappropriately in modern contexts. This can lead to confusion and curiosity about what a shaman is. Practicing shamanism and being a shaman are two different things. While anyone can practice shamanic techniques, not everyone is called to be a shaman or shamanic practitioner. Answering the question, “What is a shaman?” can be difficult, as there are no universal requirements or prerequisites. Authors and shamanic practitioners Sandra Ingerman and Hank Wesselman claimed in their 2010 book Awakening to the Spirit World that the term “shaman” originates from the Evenki people, a Tungusic tribe in Siberia. The word has been adopted into the English language to describe members of Indigenous cultures who perform a shamanic role in their communities and to describe modern shamanic practitioners. “Shamanism is a method of entering an altered state of consciousness to connect with the spirit world. This is often done to facilitate healing and change in the physical world.” What a shaman does is act as an intermediary between the seen and unseen worlds. A shamanic practitioner typically does not claim the role; rather, they are initiated or called to it. Traditionally, shamans are initiated into the path through a life-altering experience, such as a near-death event, severe or chronic illness, or extreme psychological distress. They are seen as “wounded healers” – by overcoming intense challenges, they gain wisdom, compassion, healing knowledge, and a deeper connection to Spirit. Additionally, shamans have a gift for easily entering altered states of consciousness and navigating the unseen realm. According to Ingerman and Wesselman, “In shamanic cultures, the word 'shaman' has come to mean 'the one who sees in the dark' or 'the one who knows.’” What Does a Shaman Do? It’s clear that a shaman plays an important role in their community, but what does a shaman do, exactly? A shaman takes on many roles, but they are predominantly healers, spiritual guides, and ceremonial leaders. A shaman enters the unseen world and communes with helping spirits on behalf of an individual or their community. This role is deeply honored and requires significant responsibility, humility, compassion, and maturity. A shamanic Ayahuasca ceremony in Ecuador's Amazonia In modern times, if you were to ask, “What does a shaman do?” you might receive a list of services that looks like this: Soul retrieval Returning lost parts of yourself from traumatic experiences or past lives Energy removal Releasing energy that is not yours or no longer serves you Power retrieval Reclaiming your power and authentic light Ancestral healing Clearing what no longer serves from your ancestral line Energy healing Receiving loving and healing energy to address physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual wounds Space clearing Inviting a shaman into your house or work space to remove harmful energies To do this work, a shaman enters a trance state, allowing them to traverse the imaginal – or unseen – realms. In shamanism, dis-ease or dis-comfort is believed to originate in the spirit realm. By addressing or extracting the imbalance in the spirit, or unseen realm, the individual receives healing in the physical realm. Why Do People Use Shamans? In Indigenous cultures, it is normal to visit a shaman for health concerns and spiritual guidance. In Western societies, however, it is much less common to seek out a shaman for healing or support. People often turn to a shamanic practitioner when other health modalities have not provided the results they seek. It is sometimes seen as a last resort, mainly because it is not widely recognized in modern culture. This may change in the future as more people look for alternative health options that honor the body, mind, and spirit. What Evidence is There That Shamanism Works? Research has only recently begun to investigate the efficacy of shamanic healing. This is exciting, as science is starting to bridge the gap between traditional, ancestral knowledge and modern understanding. Before we dive into the scientific evidence, it’s important to note that shamanism has existed for more than 50,000 years (Ingerman & Wesselman, 2010). It has stood the test of time and is still practiced today, which is considerable evidence of its healing potential. “What a shaman does is act as an intermediary between the seen and unseen worlds. A shamanic practitioner typically does not claim the role; rather, they are initiated or called to it.” Now to the scholarly evidence. One study published in the International Journal of Transpersonal Studies investigated the psychological effects of shamanism on 27 participants who had no prior experience with shamanic healing. After the four-month trial, participants experienced, among other things: An increase in self-awareness, confidence, and the desire to live Trauma resolution (including the resurfacing of forgotten memories and gaining a new perspective) Emotional healing A decrease in allergies and daily suffering Another study from the National Library of Medicine demonstrated that shamanic healing significantly reduced pain and improved overall well-being in female participants with Temporomandibular Joint Disorders (TMDs). Fire ceremonies are a core ritual in shamanic work And yet another study highlighted the fascinating neurological effects produced by consistent drumming or rattling, which is what a shaman does to enter the trance state. Researchers found (among other things) that the effects on the brain were similar to those produced by psychedelics such as MDMA and psilocybin. Takeaway: What is Shamanism? Shamanism is an ancient spiritual practice that can potentially support our modern needs. It encourages healing on the energetic and spiritual levels, which then ripple out into our physical reality. It is accessible to everyone; one does not need to be a shaman to practice shamanic techniques. That said, modern shamanic practitioners are becoming more common in Western societies. They can help guide you on your healing journey and provide tools for you to use in your own time and in your own way. Most importantly, shamanism is about connecting to your inner wisdom and light. In this way, it is a personal spiritual practice that can bring greater peace, clarity, and fulfilment to one’s life. ● Images: shutterstock/Kertu, shutterstock/Ammit Jack, shutterstock/Zolotarevs Written by Rhianna Quanstrom Rhianna Quanstrom is a freelance writer, herbalist, and spiritual seeker with a passion for nature-based healing and sacred wisdom. Her writing draws from years of experience with meditation, shamanic practices, plant medicine, dream work, and the reclamation of the Sacred Feminine. Discover more of her writing and poetry on her Mystic Love Substack.

When we are stuck making a decision, inner turmoil or internal conflict often arises, leading to both mental and physical health issues. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains the meaning of inner turmoil, why it develops, and five steps you can take to move past it. For most of my adolescence and adulthood, I felt internal conflict about where to live. My mother is from one country, and my father was from another. When I was 14, they divorced. Suddenly, my family was scattered across Europe. So, my inner turmoil started. Where – or rather with whom – to live was a burning question during the period of my parent’s divorce. The same issue arose when I had to pick a high school, then college — and after graduation, when I was supposed to get a job. In fact, battling these internal conflicts and turmoil didn’t truly leave my side until recently. And I do not exclude the option of it becoming current again at some point in the future! Inner turmoil AKA internal conflict is everyone’s known (and rather unpleasant) companion. It does not matter if you are picking a shirt or a spouse. Internal conflicts are usually inseparable from the decision-making process. Therefore, we have little choice but to accept their presence. We can, however, understand inner turmoils and learn how to resolve the chaos they tend to cause. In this article, I'll explain: What inner turmoil is and what adversities may come with it What causes internal conflict How to move past it First, let us get to know inner turmoil and why it might be the wrong place for you to stay for too long. What is inner turmoil and why is it bad? Inner turmoil is not, strictly speaking, a phrase that psychologists would use. However, it describes the experience very well. As already mentioned, the term that is used in academic psychology is inner or internal conflict. Internal conflict is one of the prime notions of psychoanalysis. Sigmund Freud described conflicts as a consequence of the coexistence of two or more incompatible elements in a person’s psyche. These elements can be your needs, wants, beliefs, expectations, actions — conscious or unconscious. Simply put, two forces are clashing inside of you. Inner turmoil or internal conflicts cause mental and physical health issues It could be that there are two (or more) options that seem alluring. This is the “easiest” of the conflicts. For example, you could be courted by two people who both attract you. However, by virtue of the situation, when you pick one, you lose the other. Adding to the ordeal is a common effect — the option you dismissed will start looking more appealing. Double-avoidance conflict is a more difficult one because you must choose between two unfavourable options. For example, you might need to decide if you want to be unemployed and broke or accept a job you hate. RELATED: 7 Ways To Develop A Can-Do Attitude Quotes About Worrying: 6 Powerful Sayings To Free Your Mind Discover The 10 Keys To Happier Living Approach-avoidance conflict is something you experience when one option has qualities that both attract and repel you. Moving to a city that you do not like but that offers a better professional outlook is a good example. Or dating someone who you are physically attracted to but whose personality you are unsure of. The problem with this sort of inner turmoil is that the more you approach the option, the more the anxiety grows. On the other hand, the more you move away from it, the more you start to desire it. Why is internal conflict bad for you? As I said before – inner turmoils are not something we can avoid. They are a part of our lives. However, staying in one for too long can be bad for you. Why? When you are not at peace with yourself and do not understand your preferences, you will probably have a hard time getting along with others. Inner conflicts and ambivalent desires transfer to your close relationships. “Moving past inner turmoil and internal conflict means making a move. Whether it's a psychological change or an enacted decision, something has to happen.” Inner turmoil or internal conflict in which you are not clear about your role and identity, as this theoretical paper demonstrated, can make you underperform in negotiations in business. Any other sort of negotiations, it may be added, can be affected by your inability to decide which position and role you are taking. When dealing with internal conflicts and battles, you might find yourself unable to move forward. Research confirms that when you are ambivalent, regardless of how much power in a situation you may have, you will probably remain inert and avoid action. Furthermore, inner turmoil can lead to a range of emotional and physical disturbances. Irritable bowel syndrome, for example, has been found to be associated with internal conflicts. In particular, you may be at risk of the syndrome if you feel uneasy about being emotionally open and expressing your feelings. What causes inner turmoil and internal conflict? Remember my example from the beginning of the article? As I was born and spent most of my life in my father’s homeland, I felt more at home there. On the other hand, it was wiser to move to my mother’s homeland as it has incomparably better living standards. Not to mention wanting to be with my little sister, who was 4-years-old at that point. Understandably so, a long list of problems and issues (logistical and emotional) intertwined with the whole situation. In short, it was a hot mess. And, my inner turmoil was equally as intense. What caused it was too many elements of the situation that did not align with each other. Conflicting needs, beliefs, actions and expectations cause internal turmoil and inner battles. According to the classic psychoanalytic theory, our Ego has to serve three masters. It has to find a way to reconcile the external world’s demands, instinctual needs and desires (Id), and the ethical and moral principles we acquired growing up (Super-Ego). Needless to say, there is rarely harmony between these masters. Internal conflict: our ego has to serve three masters So, inner turmoil arises. You simultaneously want and do not want something. Your longings might clash with your principles. You know that one option is rational, but your heart desires another. Many elements interweave, and you end up in a state of internal chaos. It is an entirely natural position, a part of being a human. You could, for example, be in an utterly unhappy marriage. However, you were raised to consider a divorce as something outright wrong. Your need to feel psychologically well and your ethical beliefs oppose each other. You might long to do something creative in life and be an artist, but you feel pressured to meet your family’s hopes and find an office job. Your true desires and wish to please your loved ones’ expectations clash. Or, you have needs that do not match social norms in your culture, like sexual orientation. The authentic You is not in line with society’s standards, and an inner turmoil and conflict is born. “Once you have committed to leaving the state of turmoil, help yourself decide what you want and what you will do.” You might find yourself falling for your friend or a coworker. You yearn to make a move, but it poses a risk of losing them and destroying the existing relationship. Your feelings conflict with your desire to maintain the safety of what you have now. You may be torn between your roles of an individual, child, parent, friend, professional, spouse, and the desires and expectations that come with those roles. How to move past internal conflict If you're wondering how I resolved the conflict of where to live — I had to make a choice. I was compelled to do so when external circumstances called for it (the divorce, the schooling). But, the time came when I did not have to make a choice — I could merely succumb to inertia and avoid making any commitment. And I did for a long time. Nonetheless, I could not keep dodging a decision forever. Because moving past inner turmoil and internal conflict means making a move. Whether it is a psychological change or an enacted decision, something has to happen. Otherwise, you remain stuck within the whirlpool of conflicting needs and perspectives. So, here are 5 steps you need to take to start dealing with internal conflict: 1. Understand the turmoil Clinical practice shows that you need to explore the symptoms of the conflict — how is it manifested and in what situations do you notice it? What emotions and beliefs are keeping it alive? What rigidities in your mind are preventing you from leaving the conflict behind you? How do you usually try to cope with it? Knowing your most profound traits and desires (even the dark ones) is a must of authentic living and a prerequisite for resolving any inner conflict. 2. Make a decision As I've explained, one of the adversities of inner turmoils is a tendency for inertness they may throw you into. Give yourself enough time to contemplate — but do not procrastinate. Bring yourself to make a move. Fear of change, dread of making a wrong choice, feeling lost in life, or undefined anxiety are perfectly understandable reactions. However, putting a decision off is a kind of self-sabotage. So, promise yourself you are going to move ahead — and do so. Making a choice is essential to escape inner conflict 3. Facilitate the choice Once you have committed to leaving the state of turmoil, help yourself decide what you want and what you will do. Talk to friends, a psychotherapist or a coach, make pros and cons lists — whatever works. 4. Stop feeding the conflict When you have deciphered what has caused your inner turmoil and what you want to do about it, stop adding to the anxiety it causes. For example, if you want to get a divorce, stop evoking the thoughts of how “wrong” it is to do so that your parents or culture imposed on you. 5. Believe in yourself We often feel hindered by self-doubt. You might want to apply for your dream job but are reluctant because you believe you are not good enough. Give yourself plenty of self-love and practise self-compassion. You can do it. Even if you make a wrong choice, you are capable of mending the damage. Takeaway: see inner turmoil as a hint Internal conflicts are anything but a pleasant experience. A quote from Søren Kierkegaard’s ‘Either/Or’ illustrates the anguishing nature of human lives: “Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will also regret that; hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both.” Now, Kierkegaard was a philosopher, hence the hanging. Yet, if you translate the idea to any other choice, the message is clear. Whatever we choose and do, we will probably end regretting it and up believing that the other option was better. However, it does not mean that we are doomed to despair about missed opportunities and errors we made. Instead, approach your inner turmoil as a hint. Meaning that something is going on inside of you, and you need to figure it out. Embrace internal conflicts as a call from your unconscious mind to explore your soul. Use it as a beacon. Let it guide you towards knowing yourself — and making decisions that follow your authentic nature and needs. • Images: shutterstock/ArtFamily, shutterstock/Pixel4Images, shutterstock/ESB Professional happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Self-help | Coaching | Kindness Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Dreams act as a window to understanding the subconscious mind. Sonia Vadlamani explores whether dream therapy can be the key to greater self-awareness and better mental health. Perhaps one of the most intriguing areas of neuroscience and psychology, dreaming is a phenomenon where the brain creates vivid conscious experiences, even when disconnected from the external environment. Research suggests that dreaming is closely linked to sleep and memory consolidation – our dreams may largely be the fragments of the brain processing and storing away information from the waking day. This also indicates that the conscious experiences in our sleep are related to the underlying brain activity. Everyone dreams, yet many of us struggle to recall what we dreamt about. Neuroscientists estimate that dreams typically last between 5 and 20 minutes, yet we tend to forget about 95% of our dreams shortly after we wake up. Still, dreams can leave a strong emotional imprint – for instance, an unsettling dream can affect our mood and decision-making ability throughout the day. What is dream therapy? For over a century, therapists have considered dream interpretation a crucial part of psychotherapy, particularly for understanding the workings of the subconscious mind. Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung – the forerunners of modern psychology – both offered their distinct perspectives on dream therapy. In his seminal work The Interpretation of Dreams, Freud suggested that dreams are a window to the “unconscious” mind. He also proposed that dreams are often a symbolic expression of one’s repressed desires and unresolved conflicts, often rooted in psychosexual development and childhood experiences. Unlock the subconscious mind through dream therapy While Jung challenged his colleague Freud’s ideas, he credited dreams with having a more integrative purpose. According to him, dreaming helps resolve one’s emotional and mental issues, thus revealing hidden facets of their psyche, guiding them toward deeper self-awareness and greater personal growth. Today, many therapists continue to incorporate dream therapy in psychotherapy. While Freudian and Jungian approaches remain relevant, modern techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) regard dreams as a reflection of the dreamer’s current perceptions, feelings, and real-life situations. Dream journaling is another recommended technique used to track recurring themes, reveal the underlying issues, and support one’s therapy progress. Overall, dream therapy continues to be an effective tool to enhance self-awareness, boost mental and emotional health, and improve well-being. Dream therapists: getting help with dreams The role of a dream therapist, as the name suggests, is to help you uncover more profound meaning in your dreams. For example, if you’ve been experiencing nightmares or recurring dreams that often leave you feeling uneasy or anxious during your waking day, a qualified dream therapist can offer valuable insight. Using your descriptions of your most persistent or significant dreams, a dream therapist can help analyze and interpret how your brain processes your emotions and circumstances, thus guiding you toward better self-understanding. “Therapists continue to incorporate dream therapy in psychotherapy. Modern techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) regard dreams as a reflection of the dreamer’s current perceptions, feelings, and real-life situations.” Furthermore, dream analysis isn’t as uncommon a form of therapy as one might think. In fact, a survey of 129 therapists revealed that a staggering 92% included dream analysis therapy at least occasionally in their practice, noting that working with dreams allowed for an exploratory approach rather than action-driven one. That’s where a dream therapist can play a key role – by helping you understand your dreams, they offer an insightful approach into your thoughts, perceptions, emotions, and subconscious patterns. Dream therapy can help expand your self-awareness and bridge the gap between your perception and waking reality. In so doing, comprehending what your dreams are telling you through dream analysis therapy can open up new perspectives and opportunities for your personal growth. Lessons from dream therapy While, of course, not all dreams are the same, here are some themes commonly addressed by dream analysts: 1. Dreams rooted in symbolism Although not all dreams follow the same theme or are equally easy to recall, over time you may begin to notice recurring symbols or events in your dreams. While the meaning of these symbols or themes may not be evident immediately, expert dream analysts suggest that these patterns often reflect your mind’s effort to process unresolved emotions or real-life concerns you may be grappling with. MORE LIKE THIS: Visualization Meditation: How to Practise It 8 Manifestation Techniques: Understanding the Law of Attraction What is Shadow Work: 5 Ways to Get Started Researchers have also identified some common themes many people experience while dreaming. For instance, falling endlessly can signify loss of control over a real-life scenario, while being smothered may symbolize fear or uncertainty about a person or situation in your waking life. Frequent dreams of anger, rage, or lashing out may reflect pent-up frustration or stress you’re carrying throughout the day. 2. Dreams reflecting current emotions/situations Dream therapists often find that a client’s dreams are, in fact, a reflection of their mental and emotional state during waking hours. This is especially true for recurring dreams. For instance, if you’re faced with an impending deadline coming up for an important project, your dreams may feature feelings of fear, uncertainty, or cluelessness, mirroring the apprehension you’re experiencing in real life. Dream analysis therapy can open up new perspectives Additionally, researchers also emphasize that dreaming plays a crucial role in helping the brain process and organize the information from the day. The evidence indicates that our dreams might offer a realistic glimpse into our mental and emotional well-being. With the guidance of a qualified dream therapist, it’s possible to use these insights to identify and resolve the underlying issues in our waking lives. 3. Stress or mental health conditions as indicators for nightmares Recurring dreams and frequent nightmares often indicate unresolved stress or fear stemming from a traumatic past. Research suggests that dreams can simulate adverse situations, giving the mind a chance to explore alternate responses to resolve the same. In fact, studies also suggest that dreaming allows us to confront frightening situations that we tend to avoid in waking hours. “Comprehending what your dreams are telling you through dream analysis therapy can open up new opportunities for your personal growth.” Consulting a licensed dream therapist can offer useful insight into these recurring nightmares, helping you process your trauma and devise healthier ways to cope. Working with a dream therapist In essence, dreams offer a glimpse into one’s psyche and biology, and dream analysis therapy serves as a powerful tool to understand and explore this mind-body connection. While you may be able to interpret the basic themes in some of your dreams on your own, accurate dream analysis requires professional expertise. Working with a dream therapist involves in-depth discussions about your recurring dreams to gain deeper insight into your thought patterns, emotions, and perception of the world. A licensed dream analyst can help you understand your inner world and, in turn, suggest effective coping strategies and behavioral shifts that may be difficult for you to discover on your own. Takeaway: dream analysis therapy Dream analysis is by no means a novel concept in the field of psychotherapy. Indeed, pioneers like Freud and Jung recognized dreams and their study as a powerful tool for exploring the subconscious mind. Working with a dream therapist can help you access the inner realm of the mind, which is a vessel for your memories, aspirations, and thoughts beyond your conscious awareness. ● Images: shutterstock/santoelia, shutterstock/Marish, happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Mental health | Anger management | Abuse Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Many of us are trying to find greater happiness in our lives. Learn how to boost your daily joy and well-being with these 11 science-backed tips from Calvin Holbrook. In today's modern and busy world, finding happiness can seem challenging. For the majority of us, our lives are more stressful than ever and we have less time to relax and enjoy life. The recent shift in mainstream media becoming increasingly negative only helps to fuel our anxiety, leading to greater misery and unhappiness. Happiness is a state we all want to live in, but is it even realistically possible to be upbeat and content the whole time? And what exactly is happiness? Would you consider it a way of life, a certain mood, or a state of mind? It's clear happiness levels fluctuate, but is there a way to increase or regulate them? Or is happiness a choice? In fact, as most of us have probably realized by now, there’s no magic way to stay joyful all the time. However, there is some science behind the nature of happiness. Furthermore, once we understand this, we can develop our skills to find happiness and remain joyful for longer periods consistently. So, follow these 11 science-backed ways to increase your levels of joy and you should be able to see a positive difference in your daily well-being and discover deeper happiness more easily. How to find happiness: 11 science-backed tips From staying social to practising gratitude: make these 11 changes to your life and start finding more happiness. 1. Stay social and build quality relationships Science is clear on out first tip on how to find happiness: you can improve well-being through developing quality relationships. We humans are a social species and need regular contact. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness and recent studies show it can even be as harmful to mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. How to find happiness within yourself? Through others But if you're searching for happiness, don’t start adding random friend requests to people on Insta just yet. Simply having many different acquaintances doesn’t lead to a boost in happiness levels – research shows that it’s the quality of our relationships that's key to boosting our well-being. In a landmark 75-year, multigenerational study, Robert Waldinger measured happiness levels in people from Boston’s poorest neighbourhoods and found that the most joyful were those with high-quality social connections. Furthermore, lonely people were less happy and, significantly, had poorer health. RELATED: How to Make New Friends As An Adult The 6 Qualities of True Friendship How to Be a Better Friend: 9 Ideas So, make sure to nurture more meaningful relationships with the people you already love. And, if you're feeling alone or disconnected from your current friendship group, finding your tribe – people with whom you are likely to get on best with – is a surefire way to finding more happiness. 2. Force a smile Buddhist Thích Nhất Hạnh once wrote: “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”’ Indeed, studies have shown that smiling and other external expressions work as a continual feedback loop, helping to reinforce our internal emotions. “If you're on a quest for how to find happiness within yourself, start by thinking of others first, and begin to lead a more meaningful life.” Psychological scientists from the University of Kansas conducted a study in which they assessed the impact of smiling on one’s physical and mental state. They came to the conclusion that making yourself smile can help lower your heart rate during stressful times. So, smiling even when we feel down can actually makes us feel happier. Furthermore, try smiling at strangers, too: studies also show that happiness is contagious, so you may just get a friendly grin back that lifts you up. This is an easy practical tip which can help you in finding happiness on a daily basis. 3. Find your 'flow' It sounds simple, but take time to think about what you really love doing in life and make an effort to do more of it. Go for simple things you can fit into your schedule on a daily or weekly basis. Maybe it’s being in nature. Perhaps it’s reading, forest bathing, visiting art galleries, cooking a delicious meal, or just dancing around the living room. Whatever your daily happy buzz, make time for it in your life and it will help you in discovering greater happiness. Maybe you can find your flow on the river? Better still, if you can find an activity where your mind is fully immersed in a feeling of focus, involvement and enjoyment, you've probably found your flow. This blissful state – where you're 100% 'in the zone' – sparks true moments of joy, calm and creativity, as well as helping you find happiness by forgetting any current worries. 4. Think positively Some people seem to live by the ‘glass half full’ and ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ anecdotes, and for good reason. In fact, research has shown that positive thinking can assist in stress management as well as playing an important role in your overall well-being and health. A 2017 study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that positive thinking helps in combating feelings of low self-esteem, improves physical health, as well as helps brighten your general outlook on life. “Science shows that writing a daily or weekly gratitude journal can make finding happiness easier.” Here's a simple tip: every time you have a negative thought, try and replace it with a positive one. It's sounds easier said than done, but this practice can help to retrain your usual thought patterns to bring more positive thoughts into your life. Likewise, changing your perspective on your current situation can help in discovering happiness too. If you’ve made a mistake – however big – focus on your past achievements instead, visualizing your successes. Learn more about how to stop ruminating on past mistakes and start living with hope and appreciation of the present moment. 5. Develop a more meaningful life Meaningfulness is a major happy factor that you can extend into all areas of your life. Whether it's through gardening, volunteering, or becoming politically active, meaningful activities have been shown to boost people's happiness while reducing stress levels at the same time. Add meaning to your life by helping others in need What's more, developing meaning through helping others has been shown to be particularly beneficial. A study from 2017 showed that people who offer care and help to others then become better equipped to handle their own problems. Moreover, the researched showed that participants who engaged more by helping others also showed greater decreases in levels of depression. So, if you're on a quest for how to find happiness within yourself, start by thinking of others first, and begin to lead a more meaningful life. 6. Practise gratitude Our next tip on how to find happiness is to show gratitude. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is proven to make you feel happier and more humble. We often focus on what we don't have, but, instead, we should be grateful for what we already do have: a home, food on the table, clothing, and access to water/electricity. Many millions of people in the world don’t have these things (and, interestingly, many of them are still happy!). RELATED: 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice 23 Gratitude Affirmations For Attracting Happiness Yoga for Happiness: Gratitude Yoga Moreover, science shows that writing a daily or weekly gratitude journal can make finding happiness easier. The Journal of Happiness Studies published a study that used gratitude letters to test how being grateful can affect our levels of happiness. The researchers concluded that: “Participants included 219 men and women who wrote three letters of gratitude over a three-week period. Results indicated that writing letters of gratitude increased participants' happiness and life satisfaction while decreasing depressive symptoms.” How to find happiness: gratitude journals helps you appreciate life 7. Stop comparing yourself to others In our social media savvy world, flaunting your travels, relationships and purchases on Insta is all too common. However, comparing yourself to other people only leads to unhappiness. Indeed, data from a 2010 Europe-wide survey of 19,000 people showed that those who compared their incomes to others were less happy with what they had. Furthermore, while other people’s lives may appear 'perfect’, there’s always a hidden story we’re unaware of. We usually only share our best moments on social media, rather than our fears and anxieties. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on achieving your own dreams by goal setting. If needed, change your social media habits and/or delete accounts. 8. Exercise daily If you're wondering how to find happiness, exercising is proven to boost levels of happiness. In fact, exercise has such a profound effect on well-being that it’s an effective strategy for tackling depression. In a study cited in The Happiness Advantage – a book by Shawn Achor – three groups of patients treated their depression with medication, exercise, or a combination of both. All three groups experienced similar improvements in their happiness levels in early days, but the later follow-up assessments proved very different. “Starting your day with just five to ten minutes of meditation will help you in finding happiness. Try meditating in the morning, shortly after waking.” Six months later the groups were tested to assess their relapse rate. Of those that had taken the medication alone, 38 per cent had slipped back into depression. Those in the combination group did a little better, with a 31 per cent relapse rate. But with the exercise group, the relapse rate was just nine per cent, suggesting it really did make a difference to finding happiness. So, make sure you fit some exercise into your daily routine. If you don't enjoy going to the gym, try mindful running or wild swimming to reconnect with nature. Group sea swimming is a great way to boost happiness levels 9. Get plenty of sleep If you don’t rest well, you won’t be able to function at your best. Regular sleep deprivation breaks down productivity, alertness and mood. Aim for between seven and nine hours kip a night and this will help keep your happiness levels up. A 2017 study from the Division of Sleep and Circadian Disorders at Brigham and Women's Hospital, and MIT Media Lab Affective Computing Group showed that keeping regular sleep patterns contributes to the happiness and well-being of college students. The study looked at 204 students over one month. The results show that higher sleep regularity was significantly related to higher morning and evening happiness, healthiness and calmness during the week. “Irregular sleep-wake schedules are common in our modern society," said lead author Akane Sano, PhD. “Our results indicate the importance of sleep regularity, in addition to sleep duration, and that regular sleep is associated with improved well-being.” Struggling to get a decent night's rest? Follow our 14 science-backed sleep hacks or try a deep sleep meditation. 10. Practise meditation Starting your day with just five to ten minutes of meditation will help you to find deeper happiness. Try meditating in the morning shortly after waking: the immediate heightened inner clarity and focus it will give you will set you up for the rest of the day. RELATED: 10 Types of Meditation: Which Style is Best For You? Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature Does Meditation Really Work? Here's What Science Says In fact, there are many studies that have shown that meditation can boost happiness levels by reducing stress hormones, shrinking the part of the brain that controls anxiety, and by stopping rumination, amongst other things. And, according to Psychology Today, meditation is the strongest mental practice that has the power to reset your happiness set point, thus turning you into a more joyful person and literally rewiring major areas in your brain. 11. Go outside more often While we can’t control the weather, spending time outside is essential for our well-being. In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor recommends spending time in the fresh air to improve your happiness. “Making time to go outside on a nice day also delivers a huge advantage,” he says. “One study found that spending 20 minutes outside in good weather not only boosted positive mood, but broadened thinking and improved working memory.” Find your flow: do what you love and find deeper happiness Meanwhile, a study from the University of Sussex corroborated the idea that being outdoors made people happier: “Being outdoors, near the sea, on a warm, sunny weekend afternoon is the perfect spot for most. In fact, participants were found to be substantially happier outdoors in all natural environments than they were in urban environments.” So, whatever the weather, make sure you get outside of your four walls to boost your well-being. The takeaway: how to find happiness Finally, one last thing: science also suggests that some people are simply ‘born happier’. In The How of Happiness, researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests that only around 40 per cent of our happiness is under our control (recent life events and biological set points predetermine the other 60 per cent). So, if accurate, this research means only about half of happiness levels can be controlled at any given moment. If you're searching for how to find happiness within yourself, then incorporate as many of our 11 ideas into your daily life – you should be able to increase your happiness levels over a period of time. Seeking out a positive state of mind, regular exercose, and enhancing quality relationships all help: but these habits require consistent work to be successful and help you in finding happiness. In the meantime, if life gives you lemons, choose to make a tasty lemonade! ● Images: shutterstock/Zoran Zeremski, shutterstock/G-Stock Studio, shutterstock/Ground Picture, shutterstock/Oksana Klymenko, shutterstock/jax10289 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Authenticity | Motivation | Success Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage!

Feeling off-track in life can make us unhappy and unfulfilled, but we should take it as an opportunity for self-discovery. Dee Marques explains how you can help to find yourself and your true purpose again through 10 steps, from journal prompts to embracing solitude. There are moments in life when we feel lost and unsure of who we are or where we're heading. Perhaps it's following a significant life change, such as the loss of a loved one, a change in your professional life, or the disintegration of a meaningful relationship. If you’ve been there, you know that these seasons in life can be tough and uncomfortable – and you’re not alone. Feeling lost isn't uncommon. In the UK, nearly 90% of Brits aged between 16 and 29 say they lack meaning and direction in their lives. Similarly, in the US, a study by Harvard found that nearly 60% of young adults had felt a “void in their lives” within the last 30 days. But built into this lack of clarity and direction there’s also an invitation to go on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. If you’re wondering how to find happiness from within or how to go about finding yourself again, you’re in the right place. Let's look at what finding yourself truly means, the benefits of starting off in this journey, and 10 suggestions on how to find yourself – including some journal prompts for self discovery. Start self-discovery and find your path to success What does it mean to really 'find yourself'? Finding yourself is a journey of self-discovery, but it’s not like the typical journey where you go from A to B in a linear way. When it comes to inner work, we don’t always know what the destination is or what it will look like. Also, this journey can be continuous. After a period of soul-searching, we can get some insights into who we are and what our next step is, but these revelations won't necessarily be valid for the rest of our lives. As we age and face new experiences, our perspectives evolve, making self-discovery an ongoing process. “Finding yourself is a journey of self-discovery, but it’s not like the typical journey where you go from A to B in a linear way. When it comes to inner work, we don’t always know what the destination is or what it will look like.” Indeed, the self-discovery journey isn't about reaching a final destination but about embracing the process of becoming. It's about understanding who you are, which are your true values, the passions that drive you forward, your strengths, and the unique combination of accumulated experiences that make you who you are. Finding yourself means recognising that change is constant and that self-awareness helps you navigate the ups and downs in life with clarity and purpose. Benefits of finding yourself Sometimes, we may be tempted to postpone the self-discovery journey. Perhaps at a subconscious level, we know that truly finding ourselves is going to require radical honesty. But if you push past the initial resistance, finding yourself can be transformative and liberating. The commitment to cultivating self-awareness offers many rewards, including: A better sense of direction Our thoughts and emotions impact our choices and behaviours, so increased self-awareness can help us make decisions and develop habits that get us closer to where we want to be in life. Improved mental health Studies show that Self-awareness influences our levels of emotional regulation and emotional intelligence, so we become better at monitoring our emotional reactions and modulating them so they don’t hijack our mental well-being. In other words, we’re more in control of our internal states. High-quality relationships A UK study found that self-awareness was closely linked to improved social interactions. The reason? Probably because through self-discovery, we learn to develop healthy boundaries, as well as compassion and acceptance for ourselves and others. Increased resilience As we move through self-discovery journey, we become more aware of our strengths and we learn new coping tools. This is helpful when things are tough, as we’re better equipped to move forward with ease. Greater life satisfaction Knowing that you’re living in alignment with your values and goals is one of the most rewarding experiences. Authentic living is the antidote to that existential void that so many people experience. How to find yourself So, if you're feeling stuck in life, here are 10 steps you can take to find clarity about who you really are and what you want your life to mean. But remember; our goals and visions constantly change, so be prepared to repeat these steps at various stages of your life journey. 1. Practice self-reflection Set aside time regularly to reflect on your experiences, emotions, and reactions. Journaling can be a powerful tool, allowing you to track patterns and gain insights into your inner world. Finding yourself is made easier with journal prompts for self discovery 2. Explore your energy sources Make a list of the actions and interactions that fill your physical and emotional energy deposit. Then, make a list of the things that drain your energy. This helps you make choices aligned with your passions and create sustainable habits – protecting your energy is essential to your well-being. 3. Reconnect with your hobbies Hobbies aren’t just things we do to fill time – they can help express your true self better and reveal aspects of yourself that may have been dormant. Consider trying a new activity every month to discover what resonates with you, or revisit anything you once used to loved but stopped doing. 4. Practice mindfulness Through mindfulness, you become more attuned to your thoughts and feelings, which helps cultivate a stronger sense of ownership and presence throughout your life. “Finding yourself is a journey of self-discovery, but it’s not like the typical journey where you go from A to B in a linear way. When it comes to inner work, we don’t always know what the destination is or what it will look like.” Incorporate as many as our mindfulness tips for staying engaged into your daily routine, from something as simple as mindful showering to something that require a bit more effort and thought on your behalf, such as mindful appreciation. 5. Reflect on your values Identifying your core values shows you what matters most to you and is essential to ensure your actions and decisions are a reflection of your true identity. This exercise is a personal favourite on how to find yourself through your values. 6. Archetype work Archetypes are universal characters (like the Hero, the Rebel, or the Caregiver) that represent parts of our psyche. Exploring which ones resonate with you through journaling, creative writing, or the PMAI assessment can help you understand your deeper drives in a powerful and symbolic way. MORE LIKE THIS: 'Why Do I Hate My Life?' 10 Ways To Start Loving It Again Discover the 10 Keys To Happier Living How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: 7 Techniques That Work 7. Dare to be uncomfortable Finding yourself isn’t just about theoretical exploration – it’s important to take aligned action, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. New experiences challenge you, offer fresh perspectives, and can lead to personal growth. 8. Embrace solitude Finding yourself can only happen when you make time and space for it, away from digital distractions and external influences. Moments of solitude are perfect to tune into your thoughts and feelings with greater clarity. How to find yourself again? Solitude can help you clarify feelings 9. Set personal goals Create a weekly or monthly action plan with specific goals that matter to you. For example, you could choose to experiment with new ways of practising a character strength, or ensure that every choice you make in the next 7 days reflects one of your core values. 10. Seek support Finding yourself doesn’t have to be a lonely journey. Mentors, coaches, and therapists can guide and support you with different tools and frameworks that can broaden your self-discovery journey. Journal prompts for self discovery To get you started in this journey, here are some self discovery questions that can help uncover more about your true self. Ask yourself them and keep a note of the answers in a journal and reflect on them. • If fear weren’t a factor, what choice would I make today? • What patterns keep repeating in my life — and what might they be trying to teach me? • When do I feel most alive and engaged? • What things I couldn’t live without? • What are my greatest strengths and how do I use them? • What fears are holding me back from pursuing my passions? • Who inspires me and why? • What does success look like to me? • What’s my biggest learning experience in life so far? • What part of myself have I silenced to fit in? • What legacy do I want to leave behind? Takeaway: finding yourself again The journey to finding yourself requires courage and patience, but it’s the path to a more meaningful life. While the journey may be challenging at times, the rewards – a clearer sense of identity, purpose, and fulfilment – are invaluable. As Carl Jung said, “who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes”. Remember that it's OK to feel lost in life while you explore how to find yourself. Just take it one step at the time, using the suggestions in this article to navigate the depths of your inner world. So why not start today, maybe with one of the self discovery questions above? ● Images: shutterstock/KieferPix, shutterstock/Daniel Hoz, PeopleImages - Yuri A happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Goal setting | Purpose of life | Healthy habits | Letting Go Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

If Buddhism is a religion, surely Buddhists believe in a God? In fact, technically Buddhists are atheists. Ann Vrlak explains why Buddha's beliefs encourages us to turn inwards instead. Are Buddhists atheists? Nontheists? Or do Buddhists believe in God? These are all interesting questions, and ones that will help you understand how Buddhism is different from most Western religions. In everyday language, atheist and nontheist have the same meaning – both refer to people who do not believe in God. In religious or spiritual terms, however, there is a subtle difference. Atheism does mean a lack of belief in God, but atheists also believe there is no need for a “spiritual perspective” to understand life or to be a moral person. Nontheists also do not believe a God is necessary to guide human life, but they often do believe in the central role of spirituality. In this sense, Buddhists are not atheist, but nontheistic. Buddhism does not have an omnipotent God who created the world, but it is a rich spiritual tradition. Is Buddha a God? Most Western religions are organized around a kind of God who is the ultimate authority. There are institutions with learned intermediaries, like priests, imams and rabbis who enable communication between practitioners and God. Buddhism is different. It does not see belief in the existence of God as necessary to live a principled life. Instead, it is a comprehensive system of philosophy, ethics and practices that people can follow to awaken – meaning to have insight into the causes of human suffering and become free of it. All religions acknowledge that life can be stressful and painful. However, instead of turning to a church or to God for answers, Buddhists believe every person has the ability to turn inward – to uncover their own insight through study, meditation and action. “Buddhists are not atheist, but nontheistic. Buddhism does not have an omnipotent God who created the world, but it is a rich spiritual tradition.” The Buddha explained it this way. There was a seed of knowledge inside of him that was undeveloped. Through his effort, this knowledge grew to its full form and freed him from the wheel of life and death. Most importantly, he told followers this seed, known as Buddha-nature, is something we all have. It can bloom through commitment to the teachings he left behind. Isn’t Buddha a God? You may think, “Of course, Buddhists believe in God, they worship the Buddha!” nIt is true the Buddha is the central, revered figure of Buddhism, with thousands of temples and statues built in his memory. But, he is not considered a God. Buddha is seen as a beloved teacher and friend. RELATED: How to Practice Buddhism For Beginners The Hearth of Buddhism: the Birthplace of Buddha The man who became the Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama, founded today’s worldwide religion around 500 BCE. Buddhists regard him as a person whose commitment to understanding and transformation was so profound that he transcended all suffering. In a time and place where poverty and rigid social structures shaped many people’s lives, this teaching was welcomed as an eminently hopeful and egalitarian one. We are all equal in our ability to awaken, regardless of our life circumstances. Big Seated Buddha Statue, Bangkok, Thailand In fact, the Buddha actively discouraged metaphysical discussions. He believed in practical, individual change. Rather than divine power or a divine plan that is beyond our ability to influence, he taught the law of karma – or cause and effect. What we believe, what we practice, and what we do takes us into more suffering – or closer to freedom. Why Don’t Buddhists Believe in God? The Buddha taught that the desire for a God was not so much a religious desire, as a human one. He believed it came out of the need for an answer to the question of human suffering. Buddha agreed there was no more important question. He encouraged everyone to examine the spiritual assumptions of the day, but through individual practice and investigation. He challenged claims from religious institutions that truth could only come through God or their appointed teachers. Buddha’s teachings as a whole guide people to develop clear seeing, within and without. A core goal is to discover and begin to trust your own inner authority and knowledge. “Instead of turning to a church or to God for answers, Buddhists believe every person has the ability to turn inward – to uncover their own insight through study, meditation and action.” After all, the Buddha was a practical person. He saw that different religions had conflicting rules and beliefs. He questioned how people could decide which was “right,” without investigating through their own experience and insight. This is why he focussed on individual exploration and practice, rather than philosophical discussions that he believed would not yield wisdom or peace. Given the range of religious beliefs today, and the tragic conflicts that sometimes happen, it seems the Buddha’s concern was well founded. Are There Different Beliefs within Buddhism? Like the other major religions, Buddhism has different types or branches that focus on certain beliefs and practices. You can read about this diversity in our article on the spread of buddhism. Of the three main branches of Buddhism, Theravada, Mayayana and Vajrayana, two embrace a rich collection of deities. Mayayana and Vajrayana teachings include supernatural beings who help practitioners along the path. Buddhists look to Buddha as a teacher and guide, not as a God You may have heard the term Bodhisattvas. They are enlightened ones who, rather than transcending the human realm, remain behind to help others toward enlightenment out of compassion. These deities are not considered Gods, however. Instead, they are personifications of both positive and negative aspects of life. A person living with anxiety, for example, might call upon a deity of all-embracing love for comfort and strength. Takeaway: do Buddhists believe in a God? Buddhists’ belief in Buddha-nature cultivates a sense of unity with all beings. We all are subject to suffering, but we can also transcend it. So, are Buddhists atheists? Technically, yes. But, they have a deep belief that Buddha-nature is a common calling we share. The Buddha’s teachings offer real-life ways to align our thinking, beliefs and actions with that calling to help it to grow. • Images: shutterstock/Tanison Pachtanom, shutterstock/CowardLion, shutterstock/999 Studio happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Altruism | Acceptance Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Feeling lost in life and not knowing what to do next can be paralyzing. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains how to embrace that 'I feel lost' panic we all get sometimes – and then how to move forward in 7 practical steps. ‘I feel lost in life'. Does this saying strike a chord? Have you ever muttered it to yourself in a moment of desperate reflection on the direction you're heading in? Feeling lost in life without the slightest idea where to go next can be daunting and help perpetuate stress. However, it's a common situation, one many of us have experienced (and will continue to experience) throughout our lives. Choosing a college, deciding on a career, or thinking about where to live are just some of the most common situations when you might feel frozen in this way. On the flip side, this feeling of being lost can also surface when you achieve some of your greatest goals and have no clue as what to do next! Indeed, when you undergo colossal life-changing experiences and become someone new, the old plans and ideals could stop resonating with you. So, even if you do discover what you want to do next in your life, at some point in the future this paralyzing fear may come back and set you adrift again. Let me show you what to do when you feel lost and how to draw a new map to creating a meaningful life. 7 steps for when you're feeling lost in life First, a disclosure. It wasn’t so long back that I myself was proclaiming 'I am lost!'. In fact, exactly nine years ago, I earned my degree, top of my class. I immediately got a job at a company and entered the 9 to 5 workforce. It was probably on only the second day that I had an epiphany about the meaninglessness of it all. I realised I was actually feeling lost with my life and decisions. In fact, I pretty much hated my life at that point. So, if you're experiencing a similar moment in your life and struggling to decide how to move on, here are seven steps you can take to make discovering your next move less stressful and more intuitive. 1. Put a stop on the search Do you hear the scary voice repeating how lost you are feeling in your head? Well, I know we're just getting started, but the first thing you need to do is actually put a stop to trying to figure out the answer. Although it may feel like an urgency, chances are, you need to take some time to pause first. Why? Feeling lost in life is a sign that you need to make changes Think of it as a creative problem-solving. It consists of four phases – preparation, incubation, illumination and verification. It’s safe to say that, if you don’t know what to do with your life, you hit an impasse in the process. It’s like trying to force yourself to write a best-selling novel: immediately! It just won’t work. Firstly, you need an intentional delay. Step away from the problem. The break will give your mind time and space for incubation to occur. Fill your time with activities such as walks, exercise, yoga, socialising with the right people, education and any other hobbies. Don’t worry. Your mind will be quietly working on the answer in the background. When we can’t resolve a problem, usually it’s because we’re fixated in our thinking. A break will allow for the habits, patterns and fixations to dissolve. What’s more, it will let the creativity flow in. 2. Prepare the terrain Once your mind has been given a chance to shift perspective, it’s time to go back to exploring the possibilities. However, you need to do it the right way. Make your internal and external environment ready for some soul-searching on why you're feeling lost in life. There is scientific proof for the age-old wisdom advising against making decisions on an empty stomach. A study from the University of Dundee determined that, if we are hungry, we are more likely to seek immediate gratification. The problem is that this tendency does not apply to food choices alone. Hunger negatively affects our financial and interpersonal decisions, too. “Make your internal and external environment ready for some soul-searching on why you're feeling lost in life. Be sure to do it after a good night’s rest and after a hearty, healthy meal.” The same goes for not being rested. Sleep deprivation has severe cognitive and neural consequences. Anyone who, for any reason, has been sleep-deprived, knows well the mind-fog it creates. It becomes impossible to think clearly and make coherent and considered decisions. And what about our environment? An interesting study determined that even lighting can affect the ability to solve problems. According to the findings, what you need is the kind of light that feels right to you. It’s up to you if you prefer ‘warm’ or ‘cool’, or dimmed or bright light. The trick is in making the light in the room elicit a positive mood. Your cognitive abilities will follow along. RELATED: Following Your Bliss: 5 Steps to Get Started What's the Point of Life? How to Find Meaning in Life: 7 Strategies So, when you're ready to explore why you're feeling lost in life, be sure to do it after a good night’s rest and after a hearty, healthy meal. Make your environment work for you. Prepare the terrain, go to a room where you feel good, fix the lighting, and get going. 3. Search deep within: meditate A problem as weighty as feeling lost in life requires going deep to find the solution. Meditation can help you get in touch with your most profound Self. The benefits of meditation have been confirmed over and over again. Indeed, a review of over 160 studies that met the strict criteria determined that meditation has positive effects on emotional and interpersonal issues and cognitive abilities. As little as four days of mindfulness training improved cognitive performance in another study. But how does this relate to you seeking out your future life path? Well, meditation can deliver the clarity of mind and emotion you need when figuring out your purpose in life. It can open the path to communicating with yourself, in a sense. 4. Remember what you used to love When you were a kid or teenager, chances are you never felt lost in life. You simply did whatever it was that you were doing. Yes, it was objectively much easier not to contemplate on what to do with your life: your parents took care of your needs, and you didn’t have anyone’s needs you should be taking care of. Then adult life happened. Nonetheless, there’s a wisdom in the young(er) you that could help you find your way now. Do you remember the state of losing yourself (in a good way)? It could have been reading a book, making art, solving logical or mathematical problems, learning something new, dancing, or exercising. Do you remember a cause for which you used to feel a fire burning inside of you? An idea that made you forget everything as long as you could work towards it? Explore what you really love doing and find your flow state What most probably happened to you in those times is called flow state, a phrase coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. His research concluded that the more ‘flow’ you have in your life, the more resilience, well-being, and fulfilment you will enjoy. So, what does this mean for you at this point? When you feel that your life is off track, a good place to start is to ask yourself: what is it that puts me in a state of ‘flow’? What is it that I used to love doing and believed in? Is there a way to rearrange my life and put such activities and causes at the forefront? 5. Brainstorm: and then limit your choices Once you’ve been through the previous four steps and opened up the search area, it’s time to narrow things down and list some concrete ideas. Do a brainstorming session with yourself. You can make a list, a vision board, a graph – whatever works. Your goal is to think of as many scenarios for yourself as possible. However – once you do, you will then begin to narrow down your choices. Kierkegaard spoke of ‘dizziness of freedom’, the bewildering anxiety we experience when facing the limitlessness of possibilities for ourselves and our lives. Indeed, in the world of empirical research, it has been found that there is such a thing as too many options. When you face ‘choice overload’, you might not be able to make the right call. “When you're feeling lost in life, write your own obituary. Stop and think about how you would most like to be remembered. Think of how want to live your life while you have it.” So, once you have thought of possible routes for yourself, try to sit with each option for some time. See if they still seem right after a while. You will want to eliminate most of them gradually. An exercise that might help you determine which options to keep is asking yourself “Why?” five times. That is, set a goal for yourself, such as a steady job, financial security, spiritual growth, family, health or well-being. Then, ask yourself why you want this. When you respond, repeat the question: why do you want that? After five rounds of ‘Why?’ you should be pretty close to your most profound motivation. Use it to plan and create the new life for yourself. Feeling lost in life? Brainstorm ideas, then narrow choices 6. Write your own obituary One of my favourite techniques for jolting oneself out of inertia when feeling lost in life and finding a way forward is rooted in existential-humanistic psychology. The task is pretty straightforward – write your own obituary. OK, it sounds morbid, and although you may feel some initial discomfort, it’s actually a rewarding and transformative exercise. According to the author of a recent study, the technique delivers a “greater sense of acceptance, appreciation, and awe toward the possibilities of living the life one envisions”. The logic behind the technique is simple. Even though we might not like it, we will eventually die. So, stop now and think about how you would most like to be remembered. Think of how you want to live your life while you still have it. You might be surprised by how your obituary would sound at the moment. And, most importantly, you will probably find out where you need to go next. “A problem as weighty as feeling lost in life requires going deep to find the solution. Meditation can help you get in touch with your most profound Self.” Allow me to express the weight of the ideas behind proposing this technique with a quote: “So, live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning 7. Practice acceptance and non-judgement Finally, once you have made your decision, you will need to be a good support for yourself. If you’re feeling lost in life, you're actually at a moment that will inevitably lead to a major change. And, changes often don’t come easy, even when they are for the better. Perhaps your change will mean investing time, money and a lot of effort before it can be realised. RELATED: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading Inner Turmoil: Understanding and Resolving It 7 Ways to Develop a Can-Do Attitude Therefore, prepare to go through the change with an attitude of acceptance and non-judgement. Embrace your decision, and all that comes with it. The ideal state to step into your new life is with plenty of self-love. Self-kindness prepares you to function and perform optimally and live a healthy and rewarding life. Takeaway: what to do when you feel lost You might remember my not-so-original experience about the realisation of how pointless my life was. In case you wondered how it turned out for me: here I am, doing what I love and with a great work life balance. When I was younger and used to talk about my dream career, I didn’t think it was actually possible. Yet, after going through the steps above, the path opened itself. In the meantime, I went through many other massive changes, internally and externally. And, I have another disclosure for you. To be honest, ’I feel lost' is a thought that has never fully left my side. Indeed, it has reappeared in many instances, professionally and personally. However, rather than let the feeling overwhelm me, I have learnt to see it as a nudge. It is a prod to keep questioning whether I'm living a worthy life, in peace with my values. In fact, I see it as a life saviour – life being defined as something that ought to have a point. When you realise that you are feeling lost or adrift, don’t succumb to anxiety. As scary as it may be, feeling this way is actually an insight that will send you on a path of never accepting purposelessness or inertness. So, embrace your inner voice and make these solid steps to discover your next journey! • Images: shuttertoskc/wolfstudiobkk, shutterstock/Rawpixel.com, shutterstock/theshots.co happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Coaching | Letting go | Motivation | Authenticity Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Equanimity is a state of holding mental and emotional stability and calmness, especially during stressful situations. Dee Marques explores 7 key benefits of this superpower emotion and tells us how we can all become more equanimous... We all go through moments that test our patience. Maybe it's the driver who cuts you off in traffic, the colleague who takes credit for your work, or the neighbour who keeps leaving piles of boxes and packaging in the landing. We may start our day with the best intentions, but sometimes, these situations get the best of us, leaving us agitated and on edge. If you’re reading this article, you’re someone committed to personal growth and self-improvement, so chances are you’ve been thinking about what’s the best way to respond to this type of events. And while there’s no shortage of advice on stress management and emotional regulation, there's a crucial quality that often goes unmentioned: equanimity. So, what is equanimity exactly? Let's explore the essence of this trait, looking at its true meaning, its profound benefits, and some practical strategies to cultivate it. What is equanimity? Definition and meaning of equanimity The word "equanimity" comes from the Latin aequanimitas, which combines aequus (meaning "even" or "level") and animus (meaning "mind" or "spirit"). Essentially, it refers to an evenness of mind, a state of internal stability and composure that's not disturbed by experiences that could otherwise make us lose our inner balance. Equanimity meaning: undisturbed internal stability in the face of stress This is also an important concept in Buddhism, where equanimity is referred to as upekkha. This word is formed from the Pali prefix upa, which means “over” or “all around,” and the root ikh, meaning “to look” or “to see.” So upekkha is the capacity to see the full picture, of being inclusive in our vision, embracing many perspectives without taking sides. Equanimity is gaining recognition in the field of mental health. For example, in personality psychology there’s a link between equanimity and resilience, as the intentional practice of this trait can counter high neuroticism and strengthen the ability to cope with stressful situations. “What is equanimity? It refers to an evenness of mind, a state of internal stability and composure that's not disturbed by experiences that could otherwise make us lose our inner balance.” Understanding the meaning of equanimity also involves recognising its opposite: a state of agitation or emotional reactiveness. Without equanimity, we’re likely to feel dominated by impulses and extreme mood swings that make it difficult to handle stress effectively. But although equanimity involves maintaining a balanced and non-reactive approach, it doesn't imply a lack of care or being emotionally cold. As meditation teacher Jack Kornfield notes, “True equanimity is not a withdrawal; it is a balanced engagement with all aspects of life. It is opening to the whole of life with composure and ease of mind, accepting the beautiful and terrifying nature of all things.” Benefits of equanimity Now we understand the meaning of equanimity, let's see how cultivating more of it does wonders for us. 1. Enhanced emotional resilience Equanimity improves the ability to recover from emotional setbacks. Research suggests that people with higher levels of equanimity have greater resilience, as they minimise both the magnitude and the duration of their response to events perceived as negative or unpleasant. 2. Stronger self-regulation There’s also evidence that equanimity helps control disruptive emotions and improve emotional regulation. This trait “tempers” both behavioural and cognitive responses to life experiences, so that we’re not constantly thrown into emotional ups and downs. 3. Improved stress management Sometimes, we can’t help but feel stressed. Equanimity can reduce the impact of stressors by helping us return to a balanced state faster. In turn, this can help reduce the allostatic load of stress (the cumulative effect of stress on body and mind), making us less likely to develop associated conditions, ranging from heart disease to Type 2 diabetes or depressive disorders. Cultivate equanimity with conscious breathing and meditation 4. Reduction in anxiety and depression Since equanimity is about achieving higher levels of emotional stability, its practice can alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression and gradually lead to fewer mood disturbances. 5. Increased self-awareness Responding to life with composure requires monitoring our reactions, so the regular practice of equanimity promotes self-awareness and leads to a deeper understanding of our thoughts and emotions. 6. Better decision-making We can all remember that decision we made from a place of emotional reactiveness –as well as its negative consequences. RELATED: Inner Peace: 3 Key Techniques to Finding It Mindfulness Vs Meditation: What's the Difference? 5 Skills You'll Learn Through Meditation Since equanimity keeps us disengaged from emotional fluctuations, it facilitates a clearer assessment of situations, so our mind is less likely to be clouded by impulses, helping us make more rational and thoughtful decisions. 7. Quality relationships There’s no doubt that emotional balance contributes to more harmonious interactions. Not only that, but in reducing our judgements towards others, we can build connections based on greater empathy, compassion, and understanding, reducing conflict and fostering healthier relationships. Examples of equanimity Here are some situations from daily life that can easily pile up and where equanimity can be of great help: • Interpersonal conflicts This trait can help us remain calm during disagreements with friends or family members. • Receiving criticism A composed spirit makes it easier to accept feedback without becoming defensive. • Daily annoyances Being equanimous can take the edge off daily hassles, such as dealing with bad drivers, people jumping the queue, or inconsiderate neighbours. • Unexpected changes This trait is key in helping us adapt gracefully to sudden alterations to our plans or to interferences with our daily routines. • Technological frustrations An equanimous approach is a must in the digital era, as it allows us to keep our cool when we are repeatedly asked for passwords/pin codes, devices malfunction, or internet connections are slow. Cultivating equanimity: meditation and more Meditation is one of the most powerful ways to cultivate equanimity because it helps us develop the ability to observe our thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without letting them control our narrative. In mindfulness meditation, we’re invited to observe what arises with curiosity and non-judgement. Through meditation, we train ourselves to react with equanimity, and over time this can even change our brain. Studies show that mindfulness practice reduces the amygdala’s size (the brain’s fear centre), and improves density in parts of the brain that manage emotional regulation and executive functioning. “Understanding the meaning of equanimity also involves recognising its opposite: a state of agitation or emotional reactiveness. Without equanimity, we’re likely to feel dominated by impulses and extreme mood swings.” Meditation isn’t the only way to build equanimity. Slow, conscious breathing sends signals to the nervous system that it’s safe to relax. Cognitive reframing can also help: when you feel your balance is getting disrupted, ask yourself “how is this reaction helping me?”. This makes you aware of the fact that you have a choice when it comes to your reactions. From this point, you can choose to interpret events in a less catastrophic way, responding with intention instead of reacting automatically. What is equanimity? Keeping calm and composure amid chaos Other helpful actions include spending time in nature, journaling, and even cultivating a daily gratitude habit, which can rewire our emotional responses, gradually replacing reactivity with calm and groundedness. Takeaway: equanimity is your superpower Equanimity isn’t something reserved for monks who live isolated from the world or for people who never lose their temper. The beauty of equanimity lies in its everyday power. Indeed, it’s not about pretending things don’t affect you or about shutting down emotionally. It’s about choosing how to respond, and about becoming the kind of person who can sit with discomfort without needing to fix it or escape it. As Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh said, upekkha is “the ability to let go, not to abandon”. More importantly, this is a quality you can build. Daily practices like meditation, journaling, and reframing your thoughts can help you become more aware of your patterns, giving you a starting point to develop a stronger inner balance. So next time you find yourself on the brink, remember: this is the perfect moment to remember the meaning of equanimity and to practise it: breath, and meet your feelings with presence and steadiness. With time and intention, equanimity will become your natural superpower. ● Images: shutterstock/4 PM Productions, shutterstock/KOTOIMAGES, shutterstock/Bagus Production happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Healthy habits | Letting Go | Acceptance | Internal conflict Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Buddhism is a religion based on the Buddha's teachings. Ann Vrlak explains how beginners can learn how to practice Buddhism by following the concepts and practices in the Buddha’s roadmap, such as The Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. Is meditation a Buddhist practice? Many people think so, and in fact, that it best describes “what Buddhists do.” But, if you have ever actually wondered how to become a Buddhist, there is so much more to it than mindfulness meditation! This worldwide religion, founded by the Buddha over 2,500 years ago, is a comprehensive system of values, practices and beliefs that offers a roadmap to create a happy and healthy life. What is Buddhism? Like Christianity, Buddhism began with one extraordinary person who was deeply troubled by the suffering and injustice of many people’s lives. He immersed himself in the religious beliefs of the day, hoping to understand and help alleviate human suffering. RELATED: How Did Buddhism Spread? The teachings that emerged from the Buddha’s transformation are both a religion and a philosophy, based on the core belief that everyone has the capacity to awaken. Beginners can practice Buddhism by following its philosophy and ethics Even though our lives would be almost unrecognisable to people from Buddha's time, our inner lives are not so different. People in all places and times worry about those they care about, feel hunger and loneliness, and have conflicts with others. Becoming a Buddhist means being interested in these eternal questions: why do we suffer and is there a way to end it? How to Practice Buddhism As well as there being different branches or types of Buddhism, there are many ways to get into it – through its philosophy, ethics or practices. The best place to begin is to ask yourself: “Why am I interested in becoming a Buddhist?” Are feelings of depression or anxiety becoming all too common for you? Do you want to start a meditation practice? Would you like to be more compassionate with your friends and family? “The ultimate goal of practicing Buddhism is to break free from the cycle of samsara and reach nirvana.” Whatever your answer is right now, Buddhism is a great place to begin because it shows you how to use your personal situations and experiences to deepen the connection with your own inner wisdom. The Buddha’s System The Buddha’s roadmap combines a deep understanding of human psychology with our spiritual aspirations. The following concepts and practices build on each other in ways that strengthen balance and ease. 1. The Four Noble Truths The foundation of practicing Buddhism is the Four Noble Truths: Human life inevitably involves suffering or dukkha (“unsatisfactoriness”) This suffering is caused by the desire for something that is not present and by resistance to what is present The end of desire is the end of suffering through accepting the reality of the present The way to end desire is to follow the Eightfold Path 2. Eightfold Path The Buddha’s Eightfold Path answers the question of exactly how to practice Buddhism. “But what does this look like in my everyday situations and challenges? What do I do?” You can begin to change your thoughts and actions by practicing: Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration. Meditation is a key component of practicing Buddhism Practicing Right View, for example, means seeing your anxiety about a health diagnosis through an understanding of the Four Noble Truths. Right Speech means striving to communicate with compassion, rather than irritation, and not gossiping about others or telling lies. 3. The Five Precepts Along with encouraging actions that support your path, Buddhism suggests actions to avoid – you strengthen behaviours that lead to wisdom and weaken those that lead to suffering. The Five Precepts help practitioners along the way by avoiding: doing harm stealing sexual misconduct harsh speech intoxication 4. Karma and Samsara The Buddhists tie together the long view of practicing Buddhism with concepts of karma and samsara: how our actions shape our lives – both in this life and in the cycle of birth, death and rebirth, known as “samsara.” “Along with philosophy and guidelines for action, meditation is one of the foundational tools for practicing Buddhism.” Karma explains that what we put into the world, good and bad, returns to us in kind. Harmful actions create suffering and keep us bound in samsara. The ultimate goal of practicing Buddhism is to break free from the cycle of samsara and reach nirvana. Karma: our actions shape our lives How to Practice Buddhism with Meditation Along with philosophy and guidelines for action, meditation is one of the foundational tools for practicing Buddhism. Many different forms of Buddhist meditation have flourished, with most falling into these three types of practice: Mindfulness Meditation Mindfulness meditation is the key way of practicing Buddhism. You learn to observe your experience with some objectivity. “What thoughts am I having and how are they affecting me?” “What emotions are here when I’m arguing with my spouse?” Becoming a Buddhist starts with this kind of curious, non-judgemental self-awareness. Lovingkindness Meditation The practice of kindness and compassion is essential to help us be with the realities of day-to-day human suffering. Lovingkindness meditation teaches you to notice criticism of yourself or others, and instead choose warmth and acceptance. Concentration Awareness and attention are considered superpowers in Buddhism. Your experience of life and your ability to act wisely depend on being able to put your attention where you want it – and to keep it there in spite of distractions or discomfort. Meditation for focus can help you with that. For example, you can learn to focus on your breath to calm your anger. You can also learn to turn your heart inward and practice self-compassion if you're lost in self-blame. Learn More About Becoming a Buddhist There are many (many!) places to learn how to practice Buddhism. You can explore some of our best meditation book recommendations by Buddhist teachers. If you’re interested in how Buddhist practices affect your brain, Buddha’s Brain by psychologist Rick Hanson is a fascinating read! “Becoming a Buddhist means being interested in these eternal questions: why do we suffer and is there a way to end it?” Many meditation apps like Headspace and Calm incorporate Buddhist principles and practices. A relatively new offering, Healthy Minds, is a comprehensive, free app that blends Buddhist principles and practices with neuroscience. RELATED: Do Buddhists Believe in God? If you like podcasts, check out the huge libraries at The Secular Buddhism Podcast or Audio Dharma for content by monks, teachers and psychologists. How to get into Buddhism: further steps If you want to learn more about Buddhism, you may consider joining one of the many Buddhist communities – online or in person – or even pursuing living as a monk for a period of time. A spiritual community, or sangha, is one of the most powerful ways to integrate practicing Buddhism into everyday life while having the support of others. Many established Buddhist centres offer short term retreats as a place to begin your exploration. Nirvana is the ultimate aim of practicing Buddhism These centres can also guide you if you want to take the plunge into a monastic life. Two of the most reputable monasteries worldwide are based on the teachings of Ajahn Chah and Thích Nhất Hạnh (Plum Village). Takeaway: how to practice Buddhism The ancient practice of Buddhism is no less relevant today in our modern world. In fact, many modern psychologists are Buddhists or use Buddhist approaches to reducing anxiety, fostering self-compassion and building stronger connections with people we care about. You can start small with a 15-minute daily meditation, listen to a podcast or dive in with a weekend retreat. Remember that Buddhism starts with self-knowledge. Becoming a Buddhist involves you staying in the driver’s seat from the beginning, choosing where you want to go and which practices suit your interest best. ● Images: shutterstock/New Africa, shutterstock/Cyril Hou, shutterstock/Semachkovsky, shutterstock AI generator happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Dalai Lama | Acceptance | Altruism | Spirituality Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Can 12 ideas be described as constituting pillars of well-being? Ed Gould examines the ideas of leading psychologist Rick Hanson that can help you optimize your happiness. An expert in his field and creator of the 12 pillars of well-being, Rick Hanson is the author of several books on happiness and well-being. In Hardwiring Happiness, for example, the eminent psychologist discusses how recent scientific studies have led to a greater understanding of the correlations between neural structures and mental well-being. A senior fellow of the Greater Good Science Centre at University College Berkeley, Hanson's scientific ideas have featured in many news features around the world, such as with the BBC and CBS. He has spoken at Oxford, Stanford and Harvard universities, to name but a few. Gratitude: one of the 12 pillars of well-being However, Rick Hanson is probably best known as the founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, an institution that is centred on his idea of the 12 pillars of well-being. Along with his other best-selling publications, Just One Thing, Buddha's Brain and Mother Nature, Hanson produces a free newsletter that has over 100,000 subscribers. Throughout his published work and regular newsletters, Hanson's extensive career has been leading many to the 12 pillars of well-being concept. What are the 12 pillars of well-being? What is it that Rick Hanson can teach us about happiness and contentment and how do the 12 pillars of well-being help us to achieve them? Let's examine Rick Hanson's concept in the first place. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } “Hanson's 12 pillars of well-being are designed to create a simple path that will enable you to grow a dozen strengths needed for better well-being.” The first thing to note about the Rick Hanson model of well-being is that it is two-dimensional. This is not to say that it has no depth, rather that you can imagine the 12 pillars of well-being laid out on a grid. Across the top of the grid are the names of the “Four R's” which constitute the grid's four columns. According to Hanson, these represent the mainstays of well-being: Recognising Resourcing Regulating Relating Running horizontally are three core needs we all have: Safety Satisfaction Connection From either the core needs or from the category of well-being, it's then possible to get to each of the 12 pillars. For example, where Resourcing coincides with Connection, the pillar is named as “Confidence”. Alternatively, where Regulating and Safety intersect, the pillar would be “Calm”. Because the 12 pillars of well-being are arranged, or, more accurately, can be thought of in this way, it's possible to truly understand which each one represents. “Mindfulness” and “Motivation” are both pillars that connect to the core need of Satisfaction, for example. The 12 Pillars of Well-Being: Dr Rick Hanson How to use the 12 pillars of well-being Hanson's 12 pillar concept is designed to create a simple path that will enable you to grow a dozen strengths needed for better well-being. However, they are not simply healthy habits to get into or new ways of thinking about the world. The pillars are designed to make alterations inside your brain so that you can get the most out of your life. Primarily, Hanson is using the well-known medical phenomenon of neuroplasticity within each of our brains to reorganize neural networks. He's showing us how this can be done for improved mental and lifestyle outcomes. Much as someone who has suffered a brain injury will learn how to perform certain tasks using other parts of their cortex, so the 12 pillars of well-being can help us to rewire our brains for beneficial effects. How does this work? .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } “Hanson's pillars of happiness remind us that our neural networks need rewiring from several different angles at once to achieve a true equilibrium.” You may already work on your self-development in particular ways. For example, you may have embarked on a programme of self-compassion by reaffirming positive things about yourself each day. Under Hanson's 12 pillar model, you are “Recognising” the core need of “Safety” by being self-caring in this way. Every time you go through a ritual of self-caring or take the time to compliment yourself, then you're reinforcing a neural structure at a physical level within the brain. Equally, if you're working on scientifically-proven techniques to improve confidence, such as working on your support network more regularly, then Hanson's model would ascribe this to “Resourcing” your core need for “Connection”. However, these are just individual examples of rewiring neural networks. The point is that having the 12 pillars of well-being in place will help to make sure that you're not missing out on any single element. Love yourself: self-care is one of the pillars of happiness All too often, we identify a need for our inner well-being and focus on that. Although this is perfectly understandable and very human behaviour, it's not always the best route to overall mental well-being. Hanson's pillars of happiness remind us that our neural networks need rewiring from several different angles at once to achieve a true equilibrium. Indeed, he points out that 12 essential elements, or pillars, lie at the heart of improving ourselves, not just one or two. Think of it regarding an athlete training for a competition. In this analogy, if they only work on one or two muscle groups, then they may find improved physical performance in some areas. However, if they neglect the other parts of their body, then they could find themselves going backwards in others. RELATED: The Attitude of Gratitude: 6 Ways it Can Change Your Life 7 Mindfulness Tips For Staying Engaged Top 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice This is what Hanson is teaching us with the brain's need for 12 pillars to be fed at once, from mindfulness to gratitude, and from vitality to learning. As long as we work on each of our three core needs across the four mainstays of well-being, then each of the 12 pillars will contribute to a rewired brain that truly sets us on the path to greater enlightenment and better mental well-being. Each pillar has a role to play What's more, Hanson's 12 pillars of well-being gives us a good idea of how to work on each pillar. As just one example, if we look at the fifth pillar, gratitude, Hanson describes what needs to be done to heighten behaviours that relate to gratitude. He shows us how to take pleasure by releasing inhibitions and focusing on all of our sensory experiences, not just on one or two. Furthermore, under the fifth pillar, he teaches how to take pleasure from every day, even mundane, things. Watch: The 12 Pillars of Well-Being with Dr Rick Hanson Similar advice can be found for each pillar, such as developing a sense of 'unilateral virtue' and 'speaking from the heart' under the tenth pillar of courage. Taken together – and not in isolation from one another – each pillar offers a step on a wider path. Like all journeys, each step forward marks progress but, crucially, will also lead to physical changes in our brains, as well. More information on each of the 12 pillars of well-being and some great instructional videos can be found at the Foundations of Well-Being. ● Images: Colourbox.com, shutterstock/Julia Savalishina Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's a practitioner of Reiki.

What is the difference between joy and happiness? Sonia Vadlamani explores the meaning of each emotion and shares tips for cultivating joy and lasting happiness in our lives. Most of us regard happiness and joy as interchangeable, assuming that both terms mean exactly the same thing. So, does this mean you’re feeling joyous when you’re happy and vice versa? Not quite. While joy and happiness are both positive emotions, they differ in how we experience them and the role they play in our lives. While this may seem confusing, let's try to clarify the difference between joy and happiness – and the similarities as well – and explore whether it's possible to experience both emotions simultaneously. So, what exactly is joy? Joy is a profound, innate emotion that is conceptually on the same plane as other positive emotions like happiness, elation and gladness, but is rooted in a sense of purpose, meaningful connections, and heightened empathy. Indeed, individuals who experience sympathetic or appreciative joy tend to have greater life satisfaction and a deeper sense of inner peace. And how do we truly define happiness? Happiness is a state that many of us strive to achieve, yet its definition varies from person to person. Positive psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky describes happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.” It’s helpful to remember that the answers for joy vs happiness aren’t the same for everyone. This is because the framework of happiness for each of us is shaped by where we grew up, how we’ve lived, our culture, and unique life experiences. As a result, each of us may describe happiness and how we pursue it in our own distinct way. Joy ride: journeying to happiness However, we often place the onus of happiness on an external cause – waiting for a favourable event, circumstance or person – to make it happen. For me, it was usually, “I’ll be happy when I finally visit Paris,” or “if I ever meet my favourite Bollywood star in person,” or “when I can get a salary hike.” In other words, many peopl view happiness is future-oriented, tied to chance, and dependent on conditions beyond our control. What's the difference between joy and happiness? Happiness often relies on the people, events, situations in our lives. We constantly hope and expect these events, people and circumstances to align with our expectations, believing that this will result in happiness. “Joy is a profound, innate emotion that is rooted in a sense of purpose, meaningful connections, and heightened empathy.” When it comes to joy vs happiness, it helps to know that while happiness is largely dependent on external circumstances, joy is a deeper, more intrinsic feeling. Joy can be seen as the fulfillment we receive from our sense of purpose and leading a meaningful life, whereas happiness is a fleeting emotion tied to favourable outcomes. Joy versus happiness: the psychology Dr Martin Seligman, widely regarded as the father of positive psychology, describes happiness as a sum of three distinct components: Pleasure, or the sensory experiences consisting of feelings like excitement and satisfaction. Engagement, or deep involvement in an activity that allows you to achieve flow state – a feeling of complete involvement and enjoyment. Meaning, or having a sense of purpose in life that results in a feeling of fulfillment. This indicates that genuine happiness goes beyond momentary pleasure or external circumstances – it’s a balanced, lasting state of being that arises from these three components working in tandem. With this perspective, true happiness begins to resemble joy, narrowing the scope for a joy vs happiness contention. Is it possible to feel joy and happiness simultaneously? Indeed, it's possible to feel joy and happiness at the same time. Interestingly, joy can also coexist with grief or sorrow, given the emotional complexity humans are capable of. MORE LIKE THIS: Discover the 10 Keys to Happier Living Cherophobia: the Fear of Happiness Explained Happiness: Why It's An Inside Job “Having moments when we feel joyful and happy, savouring that, and deeply engaging with what you care about might actually be a better ideal than expecting high and unchanging amounts of joy,” says psychology professor Dr Erik Nook, who also directs the Logic of Emotion Lab at Princeton. 5 reliable ways to cultivate joy and happiness We now understand the difference between joy and happiness, but what if we could nurture happiness and joy in our lives at the same time? A 2022 study by Julia Krasko et al. found that the likelihood of achieving lasting happiness – and thereby joy and a high level of well-being – increase significantly when we pursue the multiple aspects of happiness simultaneously. Here are some ways to cultivate lasting happiness and fulfill a sense of purpose in our lives: 1. Develop a positive attitude In today’s fast-paced digital world, it’s easy to fall into negative patterns like the comparison trap and self-limiting thoughts. However, positive thinking encourages us to look at the brighter side in every situation and regard adversity as a stepping stone toward growth. Meaning relationships cultivate joy A 2014 study suggests that prioritizing positivity can be an effective approach to pursue happiness. By consciously reframing our perspective and incorporating playfulness, when life gives us lemons we can practise so-called “lemonading”, thus turning difficult times into prospects for resilience and joy. 2. Invest in meaningful relationships An ongoing Harvard study, which began in 1938 during the Great Depression, concludes that more than fame and money, it’s embracing community and being in close relationships that shows us how to find happiness. “Loneliness turns out to be toxic,” explains Dr Robert Waldinger, the fourth director of this study. Indeed, the quality of our relationships and how they make us feel has a direct impact on our health and well-being. Finding your tribe – or surrounding yourself with the right people – can help you derive a deeper sense of belonging, prevent loneliness, and spark joy in your life. 3. Plan ahead Most of us lead busy lives, and the daily grind can quickly leave us overwhelmed. Add to this mix the uncertainty and stress from poor planning, and our day can feel entirely derailed. Let’s face it: what remains unplanned often remains undone. This is why it’s important to plan ahead and stay on track. “Joy and happiness may seem interchangeable, but the underlying difference between joy and happiness is in their nature – while joy is innate and perpetual, happiness is transient and often influenced by external factors.” Moreover, research suggests that productive people tend to be happier, as the sense of accomplishment and autonomy from fulfilling tasks planned for the day results in greater happiness and lower stress levels. With this in mind, productivity hacks can be powerful tools to plan your day and cultivate lasting happiness. 4. Do more of what fuels your purpose A study by UCLA researchers found a strong connection between a sense of purpose and eudaimonic happiness, or the deep fulfillment one derives from leading a meaningful life. According to the study, individuals with a clear sense of purpose not only experienced higher levels of positive emotions like happiness, but they were also healthier, with lower stress and anxiety levels. Volunteering helps you find purpose and build community In addition to being an efficient way to make your time matter, having a purpose can also prevent you from feeling lost in life. And, it doesn’t have to be tied only to your business or career goals – volunteering, mentoring, or helping others with random acts of kindness can bring a sense of satisfaction and lasting joy as well. 5. Cultivate tranquillity In other words, find what gives you true peace and lasting contentment, rather than just fleeting moments of happiness, and make it a part of your daily routine. Meditation is a consistent way to cultivate inner peace, improve your mood, enhance mindfulness, and boost happiness levels. If you like being in the outdoors, set aside time for forest bathing or hiking periodically, as reconnecting with nature is proven to alleviate stress and boost well-being. Try simplifying your life Living simply, or minimizing consumption and the pursuit of material possessions, can have a profound impact on your outlook, health and happiness. It can help you shift your focus from external distractions like social media and binge-watching toward self-reflection and gratitude. Additionally, it creates more time for you to strengthen your relationships and cultivate meaningful connections – widely recognized as one of the keys to lasting happiness. The takeaway: joy versus happiness Joy and happiness may seem interchangeable at first glance, but they are distinctly different. Indeed, the underlying difference between joy and happiness is in their nature – while joy is innate and perpetual, happiness is transient and often influenced by external factors. The good news is that we can choose happiness by consciously reframing our perspectives and being intentional about where we invest our time and energy. ● Images: shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri A, shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri A, shutterstock/JLco Julia Amaral happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Motivation | Positive psychology | Volunteering Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Yes, happiness is a choice and not a result of achievements or materialism. From choosing gratitude to quality friendships, maintain a happy vibe with these 8 tips from Calvin Holbrook. As editor of this happiness magazine, you'd be forgiven for thinking that I leap out of bed each morning after a restful slumber with a grin on my face, full of great intentions for the day ahead. Not so! Indeed, for the main part, for me, happiness is a choice, rather than my natural state of being. In fact, like all of us, I’m not happy all the time (let’s face it, that would just be weird). In reality, for me, authentic happiness doesn't signify a lack of negative feelings such as sadness and pain, but an ability to experience a wide spectrum of emotions while managing to appreciate – and stay focused on – the positive things that I do have in my life. According to psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, roughly 50 per cent of our natural happiness level is genetically determined (our so-called happiness set point). I believe my own happiness set point started out lower down the scale, but, with work, I’ve managed to boost it because – over time and consistently – I’ve made the choice to be happy, even when my life circumstances and situation were sending me into a spiral. Choosing kindness is choosing happiness Choosing to be happy is a constant effort, and to be honest, it’s not something that comes naturally. In fact, I’ve had to train myself to think happy. Indeed, like millions of us, I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety, lived through periods of debilitating panic attacks, and dealt with episodes of rumination that have beaten my mental health and happiness down. Along the way, I’ve learned that these problems should not define me or my mood. Indeed, I can still see happiness as a choice, but it requires focus and effort to stay positive (and, of course, professional help or medication when appropriate). Happiness fuels success, not vice versa The majority of people go through life thinking that happiness is something that happens to them as a result of success or something good happening, for example, getting a pay rise or getting 100 new likes on their latest Instagram post. Indeed, lots of people don’t realize that happiness is a choice, and instead go through the motions in life, waiting for joy to pop up and slap them in the face! “No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive to focus on. Since happiness is a choice, find things in your life you’re grateful for.” However, science shows that this type of instant gratification doesn’t really make us happy (not in the long-term, anyway). In fact, there is no magic pill to finding happiness. However, there is one thing that is required to boost well-being, and that is work. Work? Ugh! 'Fraid so. Because happiness is a choice, it needs to be worked at consistently, with effort, care and dedication. In fact, I believe the root to happiness is in the work you put into it. You have to commit to being happy, prioritize it, focus on it, and remain disciplined as much as possible, even in those dark and difficult days – especially on those dark days! If happiness is a choice, how can I work on it? It sounds staggering, but it’s reported that we make around 35,000 remotely conscious decisions every single day. From seemingly inconsequential stuff about choosing what to eat and what clothes to wear, to bigger things like who to love, how to spend our free time, whether to move city or quit the job we feel stuck in. Some of our choices turn out to be great and others not so. What they have in common though is that all of these choices are based in our deep desire to be happy. These choices make up part of our ‘life activity’. As mentioned earlier, genetics make up roughly half of happiness levels. The remainder depends on our circumstances (10 per cent) and this so-called ‘life activity’ (40 per cent). Paws for thought: choose meaningful relationships (pets count!) While we cannot always control our circumstances, we do have more control over our life activity. And if that life activity is said to be responsible for almost 40 per cent of our happiness, we can focus on making better choices here to increase our happiness levels. In fact, we can even make choosing happiness as one life choice! OK, I hear you: all of this is easier said than done. Life is tough. Shit happens. True, there are many challenging things that we will experience in life and we know that the only certainty is change (and the upheaval it can bring). This doesn't mean that all of life is bad, it just means that life isn't easy. But happiness does not come from your circumstances or your situation. Happiness comes from a choice that you make within. Learning how to choose happiness I’ve had to train my brain to choose happiness, even when my circumstances suggested the opposite. I believe I’ve boosted my natural happiness set point by carrying out specific ‘feel happier’ activities. If you're struggling to find the root of happiness, incorporate these eight science-backed tips into your daily life and you may start to feel happier. Stick at it, put in the hard work, and you should see results. 1. Choose gratitude and look on the bright side No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive you can find to focus on. It could be the fact you have a place to live, friends and family that love you, have clothes to wear, or even that you have eyes to see and legs to walk with. There are millions of people in the world that don't have all of these things. RELATED: Top 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice 23 Gratitude Affirmations For Attracting Happiness Gratitude Meditation: 5 Benefits and How to Practise Since happiness is a choice, start finding things in your life that you're grateful for. It could also be seemingly small, general things that we often take for granted, such as the smell of cut grass, the sound of the ocean, etc. Writing these things down in a gratitude journal helps to solidify your happiness further. Develop an attitude of gratitude and jot down three good things about every day: studies have shown that doing this increases optimism, reduces anxiety, and chemically changes the brain to be more positive. 2. Choose to think positively Try to live by the ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ anecdote. Focusing on positive thoughts and trying to reducing negative thinking is easier said than done, but give the following technique a try. Each time you have a negative thought, simply replace it with a positive one. This practice will help to retrain your habitual thought patterns to bring more positive thoughts and happiness into your life. “Happiness is a choice, not a result of something else. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.” Changing perspective on your situation will help you find happiness. If you’ve made a mistake – however big – try to focus on your past achievements instead, visualizing your previous successes and happy times. 3. Choose to smile Turn that frown upside down! One of the most important figures in the fields of mindfulness and meditation, Thích Nhất Hạnh once wrote, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”’ Grinning gains: stay smiling and choose happy Indeed, studies have shown that smiling and other external expressions work as a continual feedback loop, helping to reinforce our internal emotions. A study by scientists at the University of Kansas found that making yourself smile can help lower your heart rate during stressful activities. So, smiling even when we feel down will gradually makes us feel happier (and healthier). Try smiling at strangers, too: as well as being a choice, positivity is contagious. 4. Choose meaningful relationships/interactions Research shows that happier people have rewarding social relationships. Indeed, humans are a social species and need regular contact. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness, with recent studies show it can even be as harmful to mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. "Research shows that happier people have rewarding social relationships. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness.” So, to make a happiness a choice, choose quality friendships. In fact, prioritize being nice to people you don't know also: even a short positive interaction with a stranger has been proven to contribute to boosted well-being. 5. Choose kindness When you choose to do kinds acts for other people, so-called happiness hormones are released, boosting your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of well-being and satisfaction. Endorphin levels also rise, leading to a phenomenon known as a 'helper’s high’. MORE LIKE THIS: The Power of Kindness: the Ripple Effects of Being Nice Human Kindness: Why We Need It More Than Ever 7 Ways to Choose Kindness Every Day Another physical benefit of kindness is that it can help to lower anxiety. Social anxiety is associated with low positive affect (PA), which relates to an individual’s experience of positive moods such as joy, interest, and alertness. A four-week study on happiness from the University of British Columbia found that participants who engaged in kind acts displayed major increases in their PA levels that were maintained during the study duration. Be kind to others and experience a 'helper's high' 6. Choose to be more mindful Mindfulness meditation is an great way to try to increase your happiness levels. Start your day with just 10-15 minutes of meditation, shortly after waking: the immediate heightened inner clarity and focus it will give you will set you up for they day ahead. RELATED: 10 Types of Meditation: Which Style Is Best For You? 9 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature Many studies have shown that meditation can boost happiness levels by reducing stress hormones, shrinking the part of the brain that controls anxiety, and by stopping rumination, amongst other things. And, according to Psychology Today, meditation is the strongest mental practice to reset your happiness set point, thus turning you into a more joyful person and literally rewiring major areas in your brain. 7. Choose a purpose Meaningfulness is a happy factor that you can extend throughout your whole life. Whether it's volunteering, gardening, or becoming politically active, activities with a purpose have been shown to boost people's happiness and reduce stress levels at the same time. A study from the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that people who took part in such activities became 34 per cent less stressed and 18 per cent less sad. 8. Choose to be satisfied Ex-US President Theodore Roosevelt once said, “comparison is the thief of joy.” And in today’s Insta-ready society this rings true more than ever. In a social media savvy world, flaunting your money, travels and other supposed successes or happiness is all too common. However, if happiness is a choice, then comparing yourself to other people will only result in unhappiness. Rate your mates: quality friendships bring happiness In fact, data from a 2010 survey of 19,000 Europeans showed that those who compared their incomes to others were less happy with what they had. The comparisons that were most damaging to happiness were when people compared their incomes to those of school and university friends (even though we know that money can’t buy happiness, right?) Choose to be satisfied with what you have and stop comparing your life to that of others. The takeaway: why happiness is a choice Abraham Lincoln is famously quoted as saying, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” And he was right. Happiness is a choice but also a daily practice that requires time, effort and dedication. By carrying out our suggestions above, you should hopefully start to see some benefits. But, if you still fail to feel happy, take time to think through your actions. Are you doing the things you need to choose happiness or are you letting your emotions take control? If you’re trying to feel happier and you remain down or are struggling with depression, consult with your GP or therapist to seek professional help. Happiness is a choice and choosing help is a also a great step to getting started if you’re feeling blocked. • Images: shutterstock/New Africa, shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri. A, shutterstock/Dmytro Zinkevych, shutterstock/Personal Belongings Choosing happiness becomes easier when you have the right tools to help you. Sign up free to happiness.com today and share and support others in our forums. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Unhappy in Life | Gratitude | Lemonading | Purpose of Life Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, as well being an artist and lover of travel, swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

Repetitive self-critical talk is torturous and wreaks havoc on your mental health. From quieting your inner critic to redefining failure and success, Dee Marques shares seven techniques to help you stop beating yourself up and start loving yourself – mistakes included. "I can’t believe I messed that up again. Why do I always do this?" "I should have known better. What’s wrong with me?" "I’ll never get it right. I’m such a failure. I hate my life." Does any of this negative, 'beating yourself up' talk sound familiar? Many of us have a harsh inner critic that spends a lot of time and energy replaying past mistakes and setting impossible standards. Beating yourself up can impact your self-worth, confidence and overall mental well-being. Although our inner critic likes to think it’s acting to push ourselves to be better, constant self-criticism rarely leads to growth. Let's explore why we mentally torture ourselves this way, how this pattern affects our lives, and how to stop beating yourself up. Different ways we beat ourselves up There are different ways we give voice to our inner critic. Self-criticism can appear as: Overgeneralisation "I always mess things up" or "It’s never good enough" Black-or-white thinking "If I’m not perfect, I’m worthless" Ruminating over mistakes "If only I'd said this instead" Catastrophising "This mistake will ruin my everything for me now" Constant comparison "Look how far ahead they are compared to me" Taking responsibility for negative outcomes "If I had tried harder, this wouldn’t have happened" or "It’s all my fault" Dismissing achievements and positive outcomes "Yes, but anyone could have done this, it’s not a big deal." This type of maladaptive perfectionism has been linked to a higher chance of experiencing severe stress, anxiety, and depressive disorders, in addition to weakening our coping abilities. Learning how to silence your inner critic is essential Why do we beat ourselves up? So, why do we do beat ourselves up and torture ourselves so with self-critical chatter? Why is it so easy to be our own worst critic? Firstly, there may be something of an evolutionary survival instinct involved. Our brains are wired to focus on threats, which can lead to the idea that “only the strongest survive”. Upbringing and social conditioning also play a major role here. If growing up you learnt that love, self-worth, and approval were conditional on success or flawless performance, you may have internalised the belief that mistakes mean you are a failure. Studies confirm that unhealthy perfectionism is a learned behaviour passed on from parents, relatives, peers, teachers, etc. Moreover, a world that glorifies success and perfection – especially in social media – can condition us to believe that being tough on ourselves with self-critical talk is the only way to meet ever-increasing standards. At the same time, these cultural and social pressures make us feel like we’re constantly falling behind. “Why do we do beat ourselves up? There may be an evolutionary survival instinct involved. Our brains are wired to focus on threats, which can lead to the idea that 'only the strongest survive'.” Indeed, a recent study from the University of Bath focused on college students in the USA found that more recent generations of college students reported significantly higher levels of perfectionism compared to earlier generations. Focused on millennials graduating between 1989 and 2016, the authors found an increase in three types of perfectionist traits in the more recent graduates, ranging between 10% and 33%. And lastly, the more we repeat these patterns, the more ingrained they become, until self-criticism feels like the only way we know how to talk to ourselves. This activates or perpetuates shame and guilt cycles, making it harder to see the pattern for what it is (a form of self-punishment) and to break free from it. This is why learning how to stop beating yourself up is so important for emotional resilience and self-worth. How to stop beating yourself up: 7 ideas The good news is, just as you learned to be self-critical, you can also reverse it by learning how to stop beating yourself up. Understanding why we fall into this negative habit is the first step. Here are seven other steps you can try. 1. Redefine your perception of responsibility and mistakes People with a tendency to beat themselves up are typically highly responsible and growth-oriented. But does being responsible mean that you can’t make mistakes? This is an all-or-nothing perception that actually hurts your ability to improve and grow. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Remind yourself that you can take responsibility without going straight into shame and blame whenever you make a mistake. Stop beating yourself up: self-criticism achieves nothing 2. Notice (and quiet) your inner critic Carry a notebook or use a journaling app and write down every time you notice your inner critic speaking. This can help you separate yourself from that shadow part of your personality and be more aware of its harmful internal dialogue. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Practise detachment from self-critical internal dialogue to avoid magnifying it. 3. Redefine failure and success Do you have rigid definitions of success and failure? If so, it might be time to challenge them. Sometimes, our definitions of success and failure are like a rigid container: they can’t accommodate growth, because instead of adapting and expanding, they break due to how inflexible they are. “Don't beat yourself up. Instead, remind yourself that you can take responsibility without going straight into shame and blame whenever you make a mistake.” It’s also worth taking some time to explore where do your criteria for failure and success come from. Are they really yours, or did you “inherit” them from others during your childhood? You can then come up with alternative definitions, like “success is not about perfection; it’s about progress” or “failure isn’t the end of the road; it’s a step in the ladder of growth”. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Ask yourself “What if I allowed failure to be a teacher rather than a punishment?” MORE LIKE THIS: Perfectionism and Anxiety: 7 Ways to Cope Why What Other People Think of You is Really None of Your Business Self-Validation: 5 Ways to Develop It 4. Ask yourself how is this helping you Be honest: What does beating yourself up achieve? Does self-criticism actually help you improve, or does it make you feel stuck? If this habit is not serving you and actually ruins your mood, it’s time to replace it with happier and healthier habits. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Commit to increasing the level of joy in your life. 5. Break the cycle of shame Shame is deeply linked to self-criticism, and can become a toxic emotion enmeshed into a cycle of self-doubt, resentment and disappointment. Breaking this cycle starts with recognising that your worth is not defined by your perceived failures. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Stop dwelling on what went wrong and focus on how you can move forward with self-respect. 6. Cultivate self-forgiveness Embracing forgiveness is essential in the process of learning how to stop beating yourself up. But sometimes, it’s easy to forget that we need to be forgiving with ourselves and not just with others. Consider creating a small ritual, like writing yourself a letter of forgiveness or simply saying out loud: I forgive myself. I am doing my best, and that is enough. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Explore different ways of practising self-forgiveness. Self-forgiveness is one step towards loving yourself, warts and all! 7. Practise compassion and acceptance Self-compassion doesn’t mean making excuses for yourself (in case your inner critic is saying so as you read this!). Being compassionate means treating yourself with the same kindness and patience you would offer a loved one, without making distinctions. At the same time, self-acceptance doesn’t mean giving up on growth, but rather understanding that you are worthy through the entire process of growth. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Remember that real growth happens when we acknowledge mistakes with self-compassion instead of self-condemnation. Takeaway: don't beat yourself up If you’ve spent years being hard on yourself, this self-critical tendency won’t change overnight. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that being kind to yourself means being irresponsible or too soft. The way you speak to yourself matters, and every time you choose self-compassion over self-criticism, you take a step toward inner peace. So, the next time your inner critic starts to take over, remind yourself that you are human, just like everyone else. And instead of beating yourself up, ask yourself: how would I treat someone I love in this situation? There’s a lot of freedom, joy, and growth in moving away from self-criticism and self-punishment. Are you ready to experience that? ● Images: shutterstock/PoporLing, shutterstock/DimaBerlin, shutterstock/Perfect Wave happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Gratitude | Lemonading | Compassion | Keys to Happiness Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Do the Sunday Scaries provoke that 'I don't want to go to work' dread in you? If so, cultivating these six traits from Dee Marques can help you become happier in the workplace and start looking forward to work. Turn your 'I hate my job' desperation into a 'I love my job' declaration! Work: we all need money to survive, but given the chance, how many of us would willingly work it if we didn’t need to? Our workplace is the space where we often spend one third (or more) of our day, so how we feel about our role can have a serious impact on our overall psychological well-being. In fact, unhappiness at work is actually commonplace. Indeed, you've probably screamed “I hate my job!” or heard one of your friends or family members do same in despair. So, how can we make work, well, work for us? Studies confirm that being unhappy at work over a period of time is linked to feelings of hopelessness, depression, anxiety, stress and sleep problems, as well as higher chances of developing high blood pressure, heart disease, and digestive issues – so not hating your job is actually a serious matter. Engagement is a key 'happy at work' trait However, sometimes we have to accept jobs we’d rather not be doing – the famous “but it pays the bills”. And, truth be told, few people would describe their work environment as being a truly happy place at all times. In fact, being dissatisfied at work has become so common that finding joy in the workplace is almost seen as some sort of luxury. For example, in the USA, nearly half of the workforce claims to be unhappy at work, and the figure is almost identical in the UK, suggesting a happy workplace is uncommon. I hate my job! Cultivate these 6 traits to enjoy work So, what if achieving happiness at work was more than wishful thinking? If you find the 'I don't want to go to work' Monday Blues tend to extend over your entire working week, then cultivate these six things and achieve real happiness in your job. 1. Purpose Purpose is one of the most important factors when it comes to finding happiness at work. Indeed, purpose or meaning ranks high when it comes to achieving a joyful life in general, therefore it’s not surprising that the same applies to finding happiness in your job, too. In fact, a feeling of purpose of life has been linked to higher motivation, commitment and productivity, all of which are positive emotional states that can contribute to happiness and, by extension, stop you hating your job. RELATED: Ikigai: What Is It and How to Find It Try to find purpose at work by thinking about what your job means when the greater good comes into the picture. If you're working in the 'helping' or 'saving' professions – a teacher, nurse, doctor, soldier, etc – then this shouldn't be difficult, but meaningful work isn't restricted to these types of professions. Sometimes it's not easy to discover the purpose in your work, but with just a bit of consideration, things become clearer. Even work considered menial by others can have a greater purpose. “A feeling of purpose has been linked to higher motivation, commitment, and productivity, all of which can stop you being unhappy in the workplace.” For example, think about the people who built great European monuments, like cathedrals and bridges. Their work would have been physically demanding and laborious and maybe they hated it, but they built something that was enjoyed for many generations to come, perhaps creating a sense of satisfaction. If you're always thinking 'I hate my job', you owe it to yourself to consider what would really inspire you to get up in the morning. Furthermore, taking personal responsibility for your professional growth can also help you find meaning and purpose, so set your own goals and make sure they’re aligned with meaningful values. Indeed, if you can find an employer that shares your values, then you're on the way to becoming a happier employee. Finding a career with purpose, such as nursing, can mean happy work 2. Engagement Feeling that your work day is plagued by apathy, finding excuses to go on yet another coffee break, arriving late or leaving early, starting a task then jumping away to browse the web… do any of these things sound familiar? These are all signs of disengagement at work and should be addressed, as they can lead to unhappiness with life, depression and even health-related issues. In fact, a 2015 Gallup survey shows that disengagement or feeling disconnected from work can lead to many health issues. For example, comparing engaged and disengaged employees in the United States, 56 per cent of the latter claimed to be stressed every day (compared with 36 per cent of those engaged), 23 per cent were more likely to be in pain (compared to 14 per cent), and 16 per cent more likely to be diagnosed with depression (compared to nine per cent). MORE LIKE THIS: Why Can't I Focus? 8 Tips on How to Avoid Distractions Feeling Overwhelmed at Work? Here Are 9 Ways to Manage It How to Get Shit Done: 8 Productivity Hacks To stop this from taking away your chance of finding happiness in your career, try to find the source of disengagement. Maybe you feel that your skills are not used to the fullest, or you hate your job because you feel stuck in a rut. Set yourself some short and mid-term goals or new responsibilities and bring them up with your manager. When you do so, explain that you’d like to be challenged and do more for the company, as this is likely to be well received. 3. Kindness A kind workplace is a happy workplace, or has more chances of being so. Your relationship with coworkers is closely connected to overall job satisfaction, and if that relationship is strained or marked by hostility or competition, it can affect your emotions. This makes sense considering that you’re probably spending 40 hours a week – or more – in close contact. In fact, poor workplace relationships are one of the most common complaints and a leading cause of work-related stress and people hating their jobs. It’s also worth mentioning that some studies have found that feeling lonely or isolated at work also has a negative impact on job performance. RELATED: How to Show Compassion at Work: 7 Top Tips Acts of kindness are an easy and quick way to build a positive work environment. Indeed, small gestures can go a long way. Going to the kitchen to make a drink? Make sure you ask your colleagues if they want anything too (and wipe clean the microwave while you're there, even if you didn't make the mess!). Heading on holiday? Bring a few treats back and leave them in the office kitchen or communal area. Small gestures of kindness create positivity and, in fact, boost productivity. “If you're unhappy at work, set yourself some short and mid-term goals or new responsibilities and bring them up with your manager.” Indeed, research from the Association of Professional Executives of the Public Service of Canada (APEX) showed that incivility has “profound implications on the level of energy, emotional engagement, and performance of work teams.” Its study found that teams in a respectful environment: Have 26 per cent more energy. Are 30 per cent more likely to feel motivated and enthusiastic about acquiring new skills and being exposed to new ideas. Express 36 per cent more satisfaction with their jobs and are 44 per cent more committed to their companies. 4. Flexibility The working world is becoming increasingly flexible with the growth of options like freelancing, working from home, job sharing, and the compressed working week. Of course, flexi-work comes with its pros and cons: key advantages include reduced commuting expenses and freedom to meet personal/family needs, while common downsides are learning to deal with distractions, isolation, and sticking to a schedule. However, importantly, flexibility at work can help achieve a good work-life balance and contribute to a happy workplace. Indeed, research studies have linked workplace flexibility to individual and team effectiveness, stress reduction, and greater commitment to the job. Balancing act: flexible working often boosts happiness If you're always thinking 'I hate my job' and think more freedom and flexibility could help you relieve your unhappiness, approach your employer to see how they feel about flexi-work, highlighting the benefits and your willingness to help create a happy workplace that is conducive to productivity. More and more employers are open to flexible working hours and realizing the potential it has for creating happy employees. Indeed, many companies are toying with the idea of introducing four-day working weeks, with some showing positive results in trials. There's emerging evidence that a compressed working week can boost both productivity and happiness in workers. For example, Pursuit Marketing in Glasgow, Scotland, switched 120 people to a four-day week in late 2016 and claims it has been key in a 30 per cent productivity rise. 5. Appreciation Not feeling appreciated is one of the main reasons why people become unhappy and quit their jobs, as it can be both demoralising and frustrating. Not feeling appreciated can appear in many ways: your manager not paying attention to you, not being paid what you deserve, or not receiving credit for work, or – worse still – someone else taking credit for your ideas. These are all scenarios you may have experienced at some point. “Instead of thinking 'I hate my job', reframe negative thoughts and focus on being adaptable. Start practices like meditation and mindfulness, which can help you develop a more flexible frame of mind – the basis for resilience.” Sometimes it can be the case that employers genuinely don't care about their employees, but it's better to first give the benefit of the doubt: often managers are so busy they haven't realised they've been neglecting you. If you're not feeling appreciated, speak with them or human resources directly and ask for regular, six-month reviews to discuss how you're progressing in your role and the company. Kindness pays: be nice to colleagues and create a happy workplace Prepare well for your meeting and draw up a list of what you want to discuss and all your recent achievements (to jog your manager’s memory of your fantastic work), especially if you're asking for a pay rise. As well as discussing your strengths, discuss any areas where you can develop further. While you're waiting for your chance to shine, you can still show your appreciation for your coworkers (who may also be thinking 'I hate my job!'). This will help generate a more positive work atmosphere and create a happy workplace where people feel valued. In fact, the link between giving and happiness is well documented, since studies show that being generous increases personal happiness, and this includes giving intangible things like our time or appreciation for others. 6. Resilience Stress, uncertainty and unhappiness cannot be completely avoided in the workplace, so the best thing you can do is grow stronger to cope with professional setbacks. In other words, cultivate resilience. This doesn’t mean putting up with what you dislike, as this would only make you feel more disengaged, but rather to change your mindset when that 'I don't want to go to work' feeling kicks in. RELATED: Mindfulness at Work: 6 Productive Tips Instead of thinking 'I hate my job', reframe negative thoughts and focus on being adaptable. Start practices like meditation and mindfulness, which can help you develop a more flexible frame of mind – the basis for resilience. In fact, any stress management technique can help build resilience, as you’ll be in control instead of letting workplace stressors take over your mood. You can also invest in activities that strengthen your inner self, whether than means going on a retreat, taking up yoga, or a creative hobby. The takeaway: I don't want to go to work If you hate your job and are feeling unhappy, invest in developing these six traits – some of the many building blocks of happiness – into your professional life. Taking your time to work on purpose, engagement, kindness, flexibility, appreciation and resilience, and your efforts will pay off. Furthermore, finding happiness at work will also reflect in other aspects of your life. ● Images: shutterstock/Pressmaster, shutterstock/RawPixel.com, pixabay/ludi happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Stress management | Work life balance | Burnout Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Can an abundant mindset radically affect our choices and determine the course of our lives? Sonia Vadlamani believes so. Here she shares explains the meaning of abundance mindset and mentality, and offers eight simple yet effective ways to cultivate them. When Henry Ford famously stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right”, he was emphasizing how our attitude and beliefs determine our success or failure. While we may not realize it, self-limiting thoughts can have a lasting negative impact on our lives, whereas positive reinforcements and a bright outlook on life can help us make better choices, resulting in successful outcomes. The term 'abundance mindset' was first coined by Stephen R Covey in 1989, in his best-selling book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. According to Covey, those choosing an abundance or abundant mindset believe that there are unlimited resources available for every individual, and that long-term success warrants creation of a win-win situation for all. Abundance mindset vs scarcity mindset In contrast, Covey refers to scarcity mindset as viewing life as a limited resource, wherein one can get only a share of the pie, while the rest is reserved for others. Those with scarcity mindset believe there just isn’t enough love, time, or money out there for everyone: each thought and every action of theirs is an endeavour to grab the limited opportunities. Adopt a mindset of abundance for positive changes An experimental study based on neuroimaging revealed that abundance mindset enables individuals to make goal-oriented decisions. On the contrary, those with scarcity mindset perceive limited resources to be available to them, which may impact their decision-making abilities adversely. A victim of the scarcity mindset myself until a few years ago, it took me a while to realize that I was limiting myself by remaining in the ‘if only’ trap – assuming that my life would be perfect if only I earned a certain amount of money, bagged that exclusive contract, went on that dream vacation, etc. When I eventually realized that my scarcity mindset was confining me in a victim complex, I consciously looked for ways to expand my awareness and recognize all the growth opportunities around myself. Indeed, escaping the scarcity bubble might seem impossible at first, but consistent focus and determined action plan drawn towards developing an abundance mindset helps immensely. “Those with an abundance mindset and mentality can perceive the highest potential in every situation. There are always more options, great possibilities and unlimited resources for the abundance-minded.” Sometimes, it may be easy to confuse scarcity mindset with a temporary setback, like being in financial shortfall. Being broke could be a short-lived situation in your life – in fact, not having access to everything you ever desired could prove to be a valuable lesson and help you to be grateful for everything you do have. How is an abundance mindset beneficial? An abundant mindset or abundance mentality is believed to favor personal and spiritual growth. Psychology professor Carol Dweck revealed that people with “growth mindset” believe that talent is merely the starting point and abilities can be honed with consistent efforts towards betterment. These individuals tend to be more equipped to deal with stressful situations and believe in their ability to generate more successful outcomes as compared to those with a 'fixed mindset'. Individuals with abundance mindset are perceived to be: more creative and inspired to create favorable outcomes for everyone around unfazed even through adverse circumstances more assured about their ability to create high-value results of an amplified magnitude more focused on creating meaningful, unhindered, satisfying life experiences 8 ways to develop a more abundant mindset Here are some practical and effective ways to start creating a life of abundance. Incorporate them into your life and try to witness positive changes. 1. Believe in infinite possibilities Those with an abundance mindset and mentality can perceive the highest potential in every situation. While scarcity mindset imposes a perceived limit on the resources available, there are always more options, great possibilities and unlimited resources for the abundance-minded. RELATED: 7 Ways to Develop a Can-Do Attitude Training your mind to see limitless opportunities in place of shortcomings can be a gradual process. You can start by deliberately expanding your awareness while relaxing your focus, and then asking yourself how you could approach a situation from a different perspective, in a scenario where you know you couldn’t fail. 2. Understand the power of your thoughts “What you think, you become. The mind is everything,” Buddha taught us. The law of manifestation asserts that our inner world reflects our outer reality, and that our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions determine what we manifest into the physical world around us. Taking time to notice the kind of self-limiting or scarcity-based thoughts you experience would allow you to identify your thought patterns and shift them gradually towards abundance. An abundance mentality encourages the best version of you 3. Stop comparing yourself to others Scarcity mindset can compel individuals to constantly evaluate how they compare with others. However, those with abundance mindset tend to only compare themselves with regards to the vision and standards they set for their own selves. 4. Incorporate gratitude as a daily practice Gratitude is a powerful emotion for creating abundance. In fact, there is ample scientific research that establishes the benefits of gratitude as a daily practice, like improved mental health, stronger relationships, and enhanced personal happiness. RELATED: Top 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the easiest ways to integrate gratefulness as a daily ritual and harness the benefits of an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude meditation can also help you build a habitual focus on appreciation of good things in life. 5. Build win-win situations for all Those with scarcity mindset view life as a defined 'cake' and believe that if someone gets a big slice of the cake, the others are left with smaller portions. Abundance mentality views life as a sum of collaborative efforts instead of competitive endeavors. RELATED: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! Creating win-win solutions through interaction and collaboration can lead to mutually favourable results – this way, there is plenty of cake for everybody. 6. Be willing to learn According to Covey, the desire for learning and growth towards mastery experiences forms the basis for abundance mindset. The key to abundance is to make learning a habit and to create mastery experiences in at least one area of your interest. “Abundance mindset is believed to favor personal and spiritual growth. People with growth mindset believe that talent is merely the starting point and abilities can be honed with consistent efforts towards betterment.” James Clear, the author of the best-selling book The Power of Habit explains how the principle of ‘marginal gains’ or tiny improvements on a daily basis can aggregate over time. This brings about a dramatic shift in how we achieve successful results. Indeed, by making 1 per cent improvements in small areas in your life consistently, you could witness exponential growth and create remarkable results for yourself as well as others around you. 7.Create daily affirmations that encourage abundance Scarcity mindset stems from fear; be it the fear of inadequate resources or insufficient skill to achieve one’s goals, etc. An experimental study by J. David Creswell et al pointed out the benefits of self-affirmation in the form of improved problem-solving abilities even in stressful situations. RELATED: How to Find Meaning in Life: 7 Strategies Using daily affirmations can help bring about a gradual yet steady shift in your mindset from scarcity to abundance. Start with jotting down your fears and worries. This will help you expand your awareness. Next, make a suitable action plan as a response to these concerns in a way that will enable you to overcome your fear of failure, so you can lead a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Start your day with positive affirmations 8. Surround yourself with others with abundance mindset “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” stated Jim Rohn, and with good reason. Accordingly, choose to invest your time and resources in building a community of people who elevate your outlook on life and bring out the best in you. This will also help you minimize the unproductive time spent with ‘negative nellies’ or unsupportive and unproductive people who add no value to your life and only create stressful situations instead. Surrounding yourself with positive-minded and empowering people will help you develop an abundance mindset. Takeaway: Meaning of abundance mindset and mentality An abundance mindset and abundant mentality can have a positive effect on our physical health, emotional well-being, happiness, relationships and even our financial decisions. Keeping that scarcity mindset at bay might seem difficult to begin with, but by following the eight tips above you´ll be able to see that abundance mindset develop and shine through. • Images: shutterstock/sun ok, shutterstock/KieferPix, shutterstock/Hitdelight happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Positive psychology | Motivation Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Obsessive thoughts are damaging to both mental and physical health. Discover how to stop thinking about something – or someone – with these 9 techniques from Dee Marques. Ever found yourself replaying the same thought in your head over and over? Maybe it's a work mistake that keeps haunting you, a conversation where you wish you'd said something different, or a future scenario you can't stop worrying about. Sounds familiar? That’s because most of us tend to overthink to some extent. Obsessive thinking can be exhausting and in some cases, even distressing. The good news is that you can regain control over your thoughts. In this article, we’ll explore why we fixate on certain thoughts, how to recognise when they become unhealthy, and some tips on how to stop thinking about something when it's affecting your well-being. What does it mean if you can't stop thinking about something We all overthink from time to time. In fact, it’s estimated that our brain generates more than 6,000 thoughts per day, and an astonishing 95% of those are thought to be repetitive. Can't stop thinking about something? You cam change that With that said, not all repetitive thinking is cause for concern. Let’s break it down: Regular overthinking. Overthinking can be a natural response to stress or uncertainty. If you have an upcoming exam, a job interview, or an important decision to make, it’s normal to mentally rehearse different scenarios. This type of overthinking is a part of problem-solving and shouldn’t be concerning. Rumination When repetitive thoughts become intrusive and unproductive, rumination can take over. Here, the brain isn’t trying to problem solve, but instead keeps replaying past mistakes, regrets, or worst-case scenarios. Approximately 73% of young adults experience some level of rumination, although in people aged 60 and over, this figure reduces to 20%. OCD and anxiety disorders In more extreme cases, repetitive thoughts may be linked to conditions like Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). People with OCD often experience unwanted, distressing and obsessive thoughts that lead to compulsive behaviours. Research suggests that around 1.2% of adults in the UK have OCD. Anxiety disorders affect more than 300 million people worldwide, and over 5.5% of the UK population. When is overthinking harmful? So, how can you tell that you’ve gone beyond 'regular' overthinking and into that more dangerous, obsessive manner of thinking? Here are some signs to watch out for: • You lose sleep because your mind won’t switch off. • The same thought interferes with your ability to concentrate, or to be present. • Your thoughts are affecting your mood beyond your control, making you feel anxious or hopeless. • So-called 'paralysis by analysis' – where the fear of making mistakes stops you from acting. • You keep replaying past situations or future scenarios, but never come close to a solution. • You feel mentally drained and struggle to enjoy things as you normally would. • Your obsessive thinking is leading to compulsive behaviours, like constantly checking or seeking reassurance. The harmful effects of obsessive thinking If left unchecked, repetitive thoughts can take a toll on multiple areas of your life. You can become more at risk of experiencing mental health issues like anxiety, stress, and depression, which affects up to 50% of people with OCD-related disorders. Obsessive thoughts can also negatively affect your physical health, causing headaches, muscle tension, and even digestive problems – in addition to sleep disruption, which is harmful to your overall metabolism and well-being. “Your brain can’t handle two thoughts at the same time, so immersing yourself in an activity that demands your full attention leaves no room for intrusive thoughts.” Being unable to control obsessive thoughts can put a strain on relationships, since overthinking often causes unnecessary internal conflict and constant doubt that pushes people away. And lastly, far from helping you be logical and think things though, obsessive thinking actually impairs problem-solving abilities. Instead of finding solutions, you remain stuck in a vicious circle of worry, what ifs, and stress. Intrusive thoughts can become damaging How to stop thinking about something If obsessive thoughts are taking over and you're wondering how to stop thinking about something (or someone), the key is being determined to break the cycle. Here are some practical things to try: 1. Catch-Check-Change technique Try to use this reframing technique often, until it becomes as automatic as your obsessive thoughts! First, catch the thought and place it into an “unhelpful thought” category, such as blaming yourself, worst-case scenario, black-and-white thinking, or ignoring positive facts. Then, fact-check the thought. Is it actually happening? Are there alternative explanations? Are you fabricating evidence in your head? What are other potential outcomes? With that in mind, change the thought so it has a more neutral tone. You can find examples and a template for this technique here. 2. Mindfulness meditation Mindfulness teaches you to observe your thoughts without getting caught up in them. Research shows that mindfulness and meditation skills can reduce the mental discomfort in OCD patients, so these tools surely can help with other forms of overthinking too. 3. Write it down One practical way to stop thinking about someone or something is to transfer the thought out of your head onto paper. Writing thoughts down and describing the context where they appear can help clear your mind and put thoughts and their associated emotions out there, instead of keeping them endlessly looping inside your head. “One practical way to stop thinking about something or someone is to transfer the thought out of your head onto paper.” You can jot obsessive thoughts down as they come or you may want to incorporate specific journalling techniques. Writing not only helps release disturbing thoughts, but can also help with the following tip below. How to stop thinking about something? Write it out! 4. Identify triggers You can go back to what you’ve written to pinpoint the triggers that fuel your overthinking. It could be scrolling through social media, discussing a certain topic, talking to a specific person, etc. Identifying the trigger is crucial if you want to set boundaries and reduce exposure to the things that activate repetitive thought patterns. MORE LIKE THIS: What's the Point of Life? 3 Questions You Need to Ask Yourself Feeling Lost in Life? Move On In 7 Steps Inner Peace: the 3 Key Techniques to Finding It 5. Set a ‘worry time’ The problem with intrusive thoughts is that they can easily take over your mood and mindset all day. “Not thinking those thoughts” may not be realistic at first, but you can still limit their impact by allocating a 10-minute worry window – but remember to “close that window” once the time is up. 6. Distract yourself Your brain can’t handle two thoughts at the same time, so immersing yourself in an activity that demands your full attention leaves no room for intrusive thoughts. Distractions could include doing a puzzle, memorising and reciting a favourite poem or song, playing memory games, watching a comedy show, going out to the movies, etc. RELATED: Flow State and Happiness: How to Achieve It 7. Talk it out Voicing your thoughts out loud can break the cycle of overthinking, in a similar way to writing them out. Although at first you may feel embarrassed or vulnerable, talking to a trustworthy friend or relative can help you realise that things are not as overwhelming as they feel in your head. The old adage 'a problem shared is a problem halved' really rings true. 8. Get moving Exercise is one of the most effective ways of limiting the distressing effects of overthinking. In addition to releasing endorphins (natural stress relievers), exercise also physically pulls you out of your head and into the present moment. Ideally, you want to make this a part of your routine. According to some studies, even 10-minute sessions 3-4 days per week can help shift your focus. Try mindful running or – if you're feeling brave – wild swimming. Exercise is a great way to take your mind off things 9. Seek professional health If you’ve tried all of the above and still don’t know how to stop thinking about something, don’t hesitate to seek support. A mental health professional can offer strategies tailored to your situation and help you break free from intrusive thought cycles. Takeaway: how to stop thinking about something Overthinking can feel like an endless battle, but you can win this one. By understanding why you obsess over things and using the tips we described in this article, you can figure out how to stop thinking about something and improve the quality of your life and overall well-being. The key is to remember that thoughts are just that: 'thoughts'. They don’t define you, and they don’t have to control you. You are not your thoughts. With the right strategies, you can train your brain to focus on the present and embrace a calmer and clearer mindset. ● Images: shutterstock/fizkes, shutterstock/Gladskihk Tatiana, shutterstock/Lysenko Andrii, shutterstock/veronaman happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Work life balance | Kindness | Compassion Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.