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Extending happiness to those around us is likely to make us happier, too. Sonia Vadlamani explores ideas for spreading love and happiness, and the positive payoff this can deliver. Most of us wait for happiness to chance upon us, be it through a raise at work, finding love or a favorable event. Truth is, happiness is a choice and choosing to maintain a happy vibe constantly takes some dedicated effort and mental training on our behalf. However, what if it were easier to boost your levels of happiness by the way of simply spreading love and happiness around us? Researchers agree that happiness moves in clusters through groups of people and communities. Indeed, in our technology-driven and screen-obsessed era, sometimes we forget that it’s not all about us and that we may need to put back the love and happiness we expect to receive from the world. Therefore, it’s ideal to ingrain the message that happiness begets happiness, as having a more content social circle ensures that our own psychological needs are met with greater ease. Why spread love? “When we feel love and kindness towards others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace,” said His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. Indeed, spreading love and happiness can help us do better and feel better at the same time, as happier people are more helpful. Focusing on creating happiness for others also allows us to attract better outcomes for ourselves, inspiring us to follow our bliss and fulfill our purpose in life. Spreading love to others helps ourselves find peace, too Extending love to others can also aid us in resolving inner conflict and turmoil and letting go of resentment and hurt we may have harbored for a long time, enabling us to cultivate our authentic self. Spreading happiness is an effective way to counter negativity, avert hate and overcome prejudice through bridging our differences. 9 ways to spread love and happiness “Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier,” advocated Mother Teresa, the Nobel laureate renowned for her missionary work with the underprivileged. Spreading happiness need not call for grand gestures or extravagant effort. In fact, committing to carry out random acts of kindness is one of the easiest ways to increase happiness around you, research suggests. Here are nine more research-backed suggestions for advocating love and happiness. 1. Strike up a conversation Humans are wired to reach out and seek connections, and the inability to form fulfilling social bonds can create ‘social pain’. This can affect our behavior and outcomes in the same capacity as physical pain, according to Matthew Lieberman, scientist and author of the bestseller book Social. Yet, it can be difficult to start a conversation with strangers, even if you’re simply doing it with the intention to be nicer. RELATED: How to keep connecting with strangers during the pandemic Striking a conversation – be it in the form of a casual complement to a stranger or a healthy discussion with a group of like-minded individuals – can be the key to spreading happiness, as it can put others at ease and establish a connection. It can possibly also help you tap into the power of friendship. However, remember to indulge in positive communication and being respectful, especially when conversing with strangers. 2. Listen without judgment Do you remember feeling supported and understood when you could vent your feelings without judgment and distractions from others? Indeed, offering someone our undivided attention and avoiding the temptation to jump in mid-flow to impose our perspectives can be an effective way of spreading love and happiness. “Spreading love and happiness can help us do better and feel better at the same time. Focusing on creating happiness for others also allows us to attract better outcomes for ourselves.” Sometimes, it helps to take a ‘helicopter view’ of a scenario and remind ourselves that everyone around us maybe going through a struggle of their own, unbeknownst to us. A withdrawn neighbor could be overwhelmed at work, a server who seemed preoccupied today could be dealing with adult bullying, or a friend who has lately been seeming reclusive might be trying to deal with their depression. Practising mindful listening enables us to withhold snap judgments and view a situation from a different, more helpful vantage point. Also, nurturing an age-gap friendship can be a great way to broaden our perspectives and drop any unwanted, pre-conceived notions we may have, in addition to building a mutual support system. 3. Express gratitude An attitude of gratitude can change our lives for the better, according to research. Expressing thankfulness and being appreciative of good things in our lives can help improve relationships with others, lower stress levels and enable better decision making. Choosing gratitude also allows us to cultivate an abundance mindset and tap into our intuition with greater ease. There are several effective ways to practise gratitude, which include keeping a gratitude journal, using visual reminders, formulating gratitude affirmations or simply incorporating gratitude yoga into your daily schedule. 4. Be supportive Our encouraging words and supportive behavior can create a butterfly effect on others, highlighting our ability to create a positive impact in their life. Practise offering constructive criticism whenever you wish to offer useful feedback, albeit in a compassionate manner. A simple hug can spread kindness and love shutterstock/BRO.vector Helping someone cope with holiday grief or somebody having a panic attack, being there for someone recovering from addiction are some of the ways of spreading love by being supportive. Indeed, the simple act of hugging can sometimes offer greater mental benefits than words of encouragement. 5. Indulge in small acts of kindness While volunteering and charity require you to offer your skills and resources for furthering a good cause, there are several easy ways to choose kindness every day, most of which don’t demand a lot of time or effort on your behalf. Spreading love is possible through small gestures, like leaving a bigger tip than expected, holding the lift door open for others, or offering a nutritious meal to a lesser-privileged person. 6. Practise self-compassion While we remember to acknowledge others’ needs and successes, we often forget to validate our own accomplishments. Spreading love and happiness becomes easier when you are kind to yourself and recognize your own worth fully well. Learning to embrace your imperfections and practising self-compassion is important for your well-being, as well as for spreading love around. 7. Stop worrying about others Sometimes, we mistakenly identify excessive worrying and attachment to an outcome as love. However, worrying keeps us hyper-alert against signs of threat. Unfortunately, excessive worrying also thwarts creativity, messes with our goals and can possibly result in trust issues. “Spreading love is possible through small gestures, like leaving a tip, holding the lift for others, or offering a nutritious meal to a lesser-privileged person.” I hail from an Indian family with relatively modern values and an independent outlook, yet it was typical for my parents to worry about my future, life-choices, academic performance and career, etc. While they meant well and assumed that all the excessive worrying was a manifestation of their love for me, I noticed that whenever my parents worried over me, my stress levels would rise. The first step in resolving this could be to stop misidentifying worrying as an expression of love, recognizing that it’s counterproductive, and could even lead to self-sabotaging relationships. I had to finally convince my parents that while I appreciated their kindness and caring, the weight of their worrying was far too burdensome and was adversely impacting my mental health. 8. Learn to relax Have you found yourself juggling too many roles, or nearing a burnout, perhaps due to uncertainty fueled by the COVID-19 pandemic? The key to spreading happiness could lie in devising a better work-life balance and making relaxation a part of your daily schedule as well. Introducing mindfulness at work and taking regular short breaks can aid in boosting your productivity levels and enable improved stress management. Reconnecting with nature periodically with something as simple as gazing at the stars, fishing or forest bathing can help you replace your worries with a sense of rejuvenation and wonder. 9. Learn a life skill (and then teach others) Spreading happiness is possible by using learning and teaching to connect with like-minded people. In fact, learning contributes to happiness and is a powerful way to build a strong network of people and resources. Teaching an essential skill like performing first-aid or CPR, or sharing your know-how regarding a simple hobby like gardening or knitting could make you better equipped to seek and provide social support. Takeaway: spreading love and happiness In the words of Buddhist activist Thich Nhat Hanh, “Learn the art of making one person happy, and you will learn to express your love for the whole of humanity and all beings.” Indeed, researchers point out that happiness is a contagion that can pass from one person to another, through large social networks. Since happiness is a collective phenomenon, spreading love and happiness can boost the well-being quotient for others as well as ourselves. • Main image: shutterstock/BRO.image happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Altruism | Compassion | Happiness Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Can tapping into your intuition help you create the life you want? Sonia Vadlamani explains why it’s beneficial to hone our intuitive sense to make better decisions and lead a happier, meaningful life. Many of us have frequently encountered an ‘inner voice’ or a ‘gut feeling’ guiding us along in a tricky situation. Perhaps in a meeting regarding a potential collaboration or business association that appeared fruitful, but a nagging feeling told you to exercise caution; or at a first date with a seemingly polite person, yet something bothered you about their behavior. Very often, this intuitive sense ends up being accurate, and even helpful for avoiding unnecessary disappointment due to potentially poor choices. However, what exactly powers this gut emotion, and how do you tap into your intuition to make it a reliable source of guidance? Intuition is often typecast as an impulsive force or instinct that drives our decisions on certain occasions, or a mysterious ‘hunch’ that we sometimes get regarding an experience. However, intuition is neither an impulse nor an instinct, but “our mind’s ‘automated response’ to various situations,” based on our conscious and subconscious learnings, says Dr. Seana Moran, who specializes in developmental psychology at Clark University, Massachusetts. What is intuition? While the term intuition is often used in varying contexts in different fields, in a general sense it refers to the ability to know something immediately without the need to resort to conscious reasoning. According to Dr Moran, “Intuition is, [the feeling of] ‘I just know.’ It’s involved in the ‘aha!’ moment when a good idea suddenly comes to mind.” Intuition is often interchangeably called gut feeling, thus validating every time that you’ve “gone with your gut”, asserts Jay Pasricha, MD, director of Johns Hopkins Center for Neurogastroenterology. Pasricha further explains that our gut comprises of an entire microbial ecosystem that acts as a network of neurotransmitters, deeming that the gut essentially acts as a second brain. Indeed, this recent discovery of the gut-brain axis offers crucial insight into how our digestion and food choices affect our emotions, mood, health and thoughts. You can learn to tap into your intuition shutterstock/Triff Being able to tap into your intuition is essential for beating indecisiveness, as studies point out. In fact, there is substantial research that establishes that intuition or sixth sense powers our thoughts and decisions by influencing our ideas and feelings. Studies indicate that intuitive reasoning often results in right choices regarding complex purchases like cars and houses. Interestingly, researchers reveal that women tend to access their intuition more often than men. Dr. Judith Orloff MD, professor of psychiatry at UCLA, points out that women have a thicker corpus collosum or the connective matter that links the left and right hemispheres in the brain. This thicker structure boosts their ability to access and integrate emotions and gut feelings from the right hemisphere with the logical reasoning of the left hemisphere of the brain for a more balanced decision-making. “While tapping into your intuition may seem like an intangible concept, it is possible to build and strengthen our intuitive sense, just like a muscle.” “Women are also psychologically more in touch with their emotions and are more likely to integrate hunches, emotional ‘hits’ about people and logic,” states Dr Orloff. He further explains that men are less inclined to shift gears between logical thinking and intuition due to the thinner structure of their corpus collosum, which supports more compartmentalized thinking. RELATED: How Can Intuitive Thinking Help Us Make Better Decisions? What is Shadow Work? 5 Ways to Get Started How Can Dream Analysis Therapy Benefit Mental Health? Fortunately, tapping into your intuition doesn’t require you to deny logic or facts. In addition to the input provided by the rational brain, tapping into your intuition requires you to tune into various forms of intelligence – your subconscious mind, the heart as well as the body. In fact, combining logic-based intelligence with your intuitive reasoning enables you to take a comprehensive view of a scenario, without restricting you to utilize your conscious thought-process alone. Ways to tap into your intuition While tapping into your intuition may seem like an intangible concept, it is possible to build and strengthen our intuitive sense, just like a muscle, states Katrine Kjaer in her TED Talk centered on The Power of Intuition. We can learn to fine-tune these intuitive responses based on our experiences and lessons over time, and with the help of the right input from our environment. Here are seven scientifically-proven ways to access your intuition readily and with greater accuracy over time. Try them and see if you notice a difference. 1. Cultivating a meditation routine There is ample research to prove the various benefits of meditation, including the important role it plays in honing your intuitive thinking. In addition to reducing stress, combating depression and boosting productivity, a regular meditation practice can improve our self-awareness by reducing mental chatter. Getting your Om on with morning meditation is a great way to start your day, since it enables you to remain calm and rejuvenated as your day progresses. There are many different types of meditation to choose from, so you can pick the right one for you according to the skills you wish to learn from meditation and the style that suits you best. For instance, while gratitude meditation allows you to recognize the various gifts you’re bestowed with in life, Tonglen meditation enables you to transform your pain into compassion for yourself and others. It’s important here to recognize that a daily meditation routine can help you tap into your intuition and improve your ability to trust it as well. 2. Staying engaged Psychologists agree that existential boredom or one’s inability to find joy or interest in anything in life can impact mental health and well-being. By being more interested in the world around, you are less likely to feel bored with life and more inclined to learn new things. Planning your day ahead of time and including at least one interesting activity every week can help incorporate awe into your daily life. This can make the process of tapping into your intuition easier, especially since deeper knowing arises from our learnings. 3. Practising mindful listening Mindful listening entails paying attention and being free of prejudice or resistance. Focusing on the conversation by removing all distractions and allowing the speaker to express their opinions and experiences freely will improve the quality of any communication. Additionally, deep listening allows you to consciously gather useful information, making it possible to tap into your intuition when needed. Intuition means paying attention to the present shutterstock/sun ok 4. Learning to go with the flow Sometimes we end up feeling lost in life if we are not in control, or if our plans are not working out exactly the way we envisioned. Listening to your gut feeling and doing what feels right, or in other words, following your bliss instead of mindlessly chasing goals at breakneck speed can prevent burnout and enable you to be more self-aware. Living in the moment as you absorb yourself in activities you’re passionate about, like volunteering or campaigning for climate change awareness, etc. can help expand your intuitive sense. 5. Journaling daily Journaling is recognized as a ‘keystone habit’, wherein small, conscious changes or habits bring about a dramatic transformation if carried out as a routine. Jotting down your thoughts and feelings can help you travel into your interiors, bringing awareness to unresolved emotions and deepening your learnings, thus helping you tap into your intuition with ease. 6. Paying attention to your body People with heightened internal awareness are more in tune with their body, and often have heightened mind-body connection. Focusing-oriented psychotherapist Eugene Gandlin describes this bodily awareness as the ‘felt sense’, which involves emotional and intuitive awareness. Mental health practitioners recommend focusing on the felt sense, or checking in with your inner-self to improve your ability to tap into your intuition. “Tapping into your intuition is essential for beating indecisiveness. There is substantial research that establishes that intuition or sixth sense powers our thoughts and decisions by influencing our ideas and feelings.” Observing your emotions and pinpointing the location where the emotion arises from in your body helps you identify when your intuition is in action. Combining this focusing process with conscious breathing or body scan meditation can help calm your mind and help you get in touch with your body more effectively. 7. Being present “Intuition is nothing more and nothing less than recognition,” states renowned psychologist and Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman. In his book Thinking Fast and Slow, Kahneman indicates that our brain is conditioned to take note of and store all our experiences and thoughts, be it first-hand or something that we ingrained subconsciously. When you find yourself in a situation that resembles this ingrained learning, your brain recognizes the stored information, thus tapping into your intuition. Kahneman asserts that our intuitive sense may prove to be accurate more often in the longer run, and with sufficient practice. Learning to live life in the present moment can help us take notice and improve our retention abilities, thus enhancing our mental recognition blocks. Indulging in activities like gardening, knitting or pottering, etc, can help us stay in the present. Takeaway: tapping into your intuition There’s more to intuition than just helpful inputs for small decisions or impulsive changes. “Intuition gives us detailed, targeted, and proactive information about anything and anyone,” states Laura Day, author of Practical Intuition and an intuitive healer by profession. Indeed, tapping into your intuition can be the key to living a meaningful life and finding happiness. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Positive Psychology | Breathwork | Dream Interpretation Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Is it possible to look at happiness in terms of the choices we make every day? Sonia Vadlamani explains how long-lasting happiness largely stems from making consistently conscious choices. Incorporate these 12 happy habits in to your daily routine and feel the benefits. Happiness means different things to different people. For you, it might be a secure job and a comfortable life. For others, it may mean freedom of expression and forming meaningful friendships. And while happiness looks distinct for everyone, most people agree that being happy is the most important aspect and the major driving force in life. While there is no consensus on a ‘silver bullet’ that works for everyone, there are some things which boost happiness for the majority – good physical health, sound mental health, a stress-free and productive life, job-satisfaction, a sense of fulfillment, meaningful relationships, etc, are just a few outcomes that result in happiness for most individuals. What is happiness? Most researchers consider happiness as a state of mind. It is usually measured in terms of life-satisfaction, subjective well-being, and a positive mental state. Lack of negative emotions like anger, frustration, and absence of symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression are also considered to result in a happy state of mind. How habits and happiness are related Choosing what makes us happy is difficult sometimes, especially when something that might make us genuinely happier in the long run seems to clash with what feels good in the present moment. In the words of Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author of The Happiness Project, happiness doesn’t always feel happy. For example, relaxing and binge-watching a favorite show may certainly feel like the convenient choice over heading to the gym for a workout. A double chocolate chip cookie might seem more appealing than a healthier and wholesome bowl of salad. RELATED: How habits can get in the way of your goals The common instinct during such a dilemma is to settle for the convenient or compelling choice – this may result in short burst of joy but might not make us happy in the long run. However, it is possible to break out of this default subconscious behavior and work our way towards the happiness-creating choice, through willpower and consistent action. Choosing the gym over cookies: a happiness habit! shutterstock/NDAB Creativity Making consistently better choices can be a viable strategy to create lasting happiness. Habits matter – they help us engrain a choice as the default action, if made repeatedly. Long-lasting, consistent variety of happiness come through consistent habits. Hitting the gym after work can be made into your default choice – or ingrained healthy habit – through consistent action, rather than to just remain a couch potato, resulting in good health and consistent happiness. Happy habits: 12 simple ways to boost joy levels daily So, let’s look at some happy habits to help you with your quest for happiness. With time and practice, you can cement these happy habits into your daily routine as your default choice of action: 1. Smile Smiling is circular – happy people smile more often, which releases more dopamine, and this makes them happier. Researchers even suggest faking a smile to induce cheerfulness and lower stress levels through ‘facial feedback’. Smiling has also been associated with extended life expectancy. A study by Michigan State University revealed that smiling as a result of cultivating positive thoughts can improve mood, prevent feelings of apathy, and improve productivity levels in the workplace. 2. Exercise regularly Exercise can prevent hypertension, boost heart health and immunity, and extend your life span. However, the benefits are not limited to physical health – regular exercise can help lower stress levels and even rewire your brain connections to keep depression at bay. A systematic review of existing literature by Zhanjia Zhang et al revealed that even the minimal amount of physical activity in the form of aerobic or stretching/balancing exercises makes a huge impact in favor of reduced stress and depression – resulting in greater happiness – in comparison to those who do not exercise on even one day in a week. “Happiness and habits have a symbiotic relationship – people with healthy habits are happier, and happy people are found to have healthier habits.” Include at least 20 minutes of daily physical activity in the form of strength training, outdoor running, yoga or walking to observe the difference in your mood and health. You could also indulge in a hobby involving movement, like dancing or playing tennis. 3. Eat mindfully Healthier food choices result in elevated happiness, as indicated by a research synthesis by Ruut Veenhoven. A balanced diet consisting of whole grains, lean meat, healthy fats along with two to three portions of fresh vegetables and fruit per day can improve your physical health and prevent disease. In addition, food choices impact your mental health as well – good mood foods can alleviate anxiety and depression and improve your mood by inducing the release of happiness hormones. 4. Get enough sleep Despite the competitive modern world trying to convince us to stay awake and connected for longer hours, getting sufficient sleep is a crucial happy habit for good health and well-being. A four-week study by Ji-eun Shin et al revealed that individuals who sleep for adequate hours have lower incidence of ‘zero-sum beliefs’ or scarcity mindset, higher life-satisfaction and elevated happiness levels. Take time to build a healthy sleep routine. Keep sleep-stealers like phones and tablets on silent mode and tucked away at least one hour before bedtime. Try going to bed and waking up at the same time every day to regularize your sleep patterns. 5. Meet friends and family often Humans are inherently social beings and forming meaningful ties makes us happier. A study by Matthias R Mehl et al pointed out that meaningful friendships call for lesser small talk and encourage more ‘substantive’ conversations, resulting in a greater perception of well-being and happiness. Another happy habit: keeping family close shutterstock/Monkey Business Images Furthermore, meeting happy people with a positive attitude will amp up the benefits. Another study at Harvard Medical School observed the happiness patterns of 5,000 participants over a period of 20 years, to establish that happiness levels in a person can trigger a positive chain reaction and the benefits can reach their friends, their friends’ friends, and so on. 6. Plan ahead Planning the next day and upcoming week in advance can help prevent the floundering feeling we sometimes get when there’s too much work that needs to get done but we have no clue where to begin. It is essential to factor in the truth here – what isn’t planned most often doesn’t get done, which may result in undue stress and dissatisfaction. RELATED: Mindful minutes – 10 small practices that make a big difference A study by renowned self-help author Robert Epstein revealed that 25 per cent of our happiness depends on our ability to manage stress, and that consistent planning and timely action can prevent stressful situations. Hence, to prevent stress, it’s important to reflect on the activities that bring you the desired result, such as joy, sense of accomplishment etc. and consistently establish supportive plans. Seeking happiness through random, haphazard acts might not always work out in your favor, but activities listed through meticulous planning will seldom backfire, offering you greater sense of satisfaction. 7. Disconnect and recharge While social media is great for networking and staying connected, it can also take a toll on your mental health and hurt your self-esteem. Taking some time to disconnect from that infinite realm called the internet, to connect with your inner self, is crucial for your subjective well-being and happiness. In a two-week study by Dunn and Kushlev, 221 participants were encouraged to maximize their phone interruptions and keep them within reach for a week. For the next week, participants were asked to turn off their phone notifications and tuck the phone away out of plain sight. Participants reported higher attention span and improved productivity levels when phone alerts were off, which predicted elevated levels of happiness. While unplugging your phone and shutting down your electronic devices might seem like a ridiculous proposition in the beginning, but it can save you from mental fatigue and undue stress. Start small – try taking a break from social media and phone notifications for a few hours each week, extending to few hours of silent mode each day. Use this time to meditate, read, or simply savor the silence around. 8. Meditate Meditation is an energization practice that allows you to focus your thoughts, enabling you to unleash your inner potential and achieve a greater sense of awareness. Numerous scientific studies point out that meditating daily can improve your mood and boost cognitive abilities. According to a review study at Kyoto University, meditation can increase the grey matter in precuneus area of the brain, which is known as the origin of the sense of well-being and happiness. Meditate regularly to boost your mood shutterstock/Shift Drive If you are a beginner struggling with your meditation practice, take heart it knowing it need not be a complicated technique. Explore some of the best beginner's meditation videos online, or simply begin by sitting in a quiet place for at least five minutes, as you concentrate on your breathing patterns. 9. Connect with nature The fast-paced world around us has a way of making us believe that life is all about achievements and hustle. While goals are important, remember that there’s more to life than to-do lists and deadlines. Taking time from your busy schedule periodically to get into nature can rejuvenate your senses, improve your heart health, prevent cancer and boost your creativity. Forest bathing or reconnecting with nature can also alleviate stress and depression, indicating higher levels of happiness. 10. Stay spiritually connected In a broad sense, spirituality relates to looking beyond oneself to find a connection with a greater dimension or a higher power that unites all beings. It doesn’t necessarily translate into religious tenets or gatherings – instead, it focuses on cultivating intrinsic value systems like kindness, compassion, gratitude etc, in your daily life. The Science of Happiness, a special edition by Time, summarizes the learning compiled from existing scientific research that most spiritual people derive certain ‘psychological comfort’ from their belief system and tend to be less depressed and less anxious as compared to their non-spiritual counterparts. “Humans are inherently social beings and forming meaningful ties makes us happier. Furthermore, meeting happy people with a positive attitude will amp up the benefits.” A systematic review of scientific literature by Sankul Gaur recognized spirituality as an emerging predictor of happiness, wherein spiritual or religious interventions were found to improve one’s sense of well-being and life satisfaction. 11. Stay in the present While the technological advancements in the form of smartphones and tablets do make our lives easier, unfortunately they also tend to draw our attention away from the reality around us. Being mindful of the environment around you and savoring the present moment without judgment is crucial for cultivating happiness – it allows you to think, feel and act from a place of purpose in a conscious manner, as opposed to your actions arising based on your subconscious patterns, or a ‘default mode’. A study by Cristian Coo et al established mindfulness as an important construct for mental health and an effective positive psychology intervention tool. It also revealed the positive effect of Mindfulness Based Intervention (MBI) on the happiness levels, work engagement and productivity of professionals in varied fields like healthcare, education etc. 12. Practise gratitude Gratitude is the appreciation of good things in your life, or an acknowledgment of the gifts you received. Studies show that the simplest acknowledgment of all things you are grateful for – be it by writing gratitude list or via gratitude meditation – can positively impact hope and happiness. Furthermore, developing an attitude of gratitude has scientifically-proven benefits. It’s possible to start small – acknowledge things you’re grateful for as you go about your daily tasks, such as having hot water to take a shower or having the sense of vision. Gratitude journaling is another great way to set positive intentions for the day. Round-up: happy habits Happiness and habits have a symbiotic relationship – people with healthy habits are happier, and happy people are found to have healthier habits. The happiness-boosting habits listed here are by no means exclusive – try them to see which of these fit well into your lifestyle and stick to the ones that create favorable results for you. With consistent practice and patience, you can create a routine to include the positive habits that suit your version of happiness and the path you choose to achieve the same. • Main image: shutterstock/Monkey Business Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Authenticity | Courage | Learning | Success Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

How exactly is Kundalini meditation more than religion or mere set of beliefs? Sonia Vadlamani explains how this energizing technique can offer a greater sense of awareness and purpose. At some point in our lives, many of us realize how we spend most of our days in a ‘default-mode’, as we keep reacting to the stimuli in the environment around us with minimal sense of control over the various events of the day. For instance, you may have noticed how often you fix your lunch absentmindedly or go about your work in an automated fashion – all without paying any real attention – yet feel drained by the end of the day. Meditation can prove to be an effective key to enhance our awareness. And Kundalini meditation could be a more intentional way to unleash one’s inner potential and improve focus. Indeed, practitioners of Kundalini meditation believe that every human being has life-energy or prana present within, which can be awakened with patience and dedicated practice. RELATED: 9 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation What is Kundalini meditation? While the exact origin of Kundalini meditation is not known, its practice has been traced back to as early as 500 BC. Hinduism believes Kundalini to be a vast pool of energy visualized in the form of a coiled or sleeping serpent, resting at the base of the spine which is also the root chakra or muladhara. The seven chakras, including muladhara shutterstock/Olga Zelenkova Kundalini meditation was introduced to the Western world by Yogi Bhajan in 1968, who envisioned a new form of spirituality that connected ancient knowledge with the modern-era lifestyle. Purpose of Kundalini meditation The core philosophy underlying Kundalini meditation is to facilitate movement of energy through the body. The ‘coiled’ or static energy reserve generally refers to the unrealized potential that is inherently present in every human being. RELATED: Tummo Breathing and Meditation: a Guide A fundamental part of Kundalini yoga, Kundalini meditation is aimed at harnessing this large reserve of unutilized energy at the base of the spine. It works by enabling energy movement through the seven chakras – starting from the base chakra at the bottom of the spine – through the different parts of body – to the crown chakra situated atop the head, from where it eventually exits the body. “Kundalini meditation could be a more intentional way to unleash one’s inner potential and improve focus.” This movement of the life-energy symbolizes awakening of Kundalini, resulting in an expanded state of consciousness and improved mind-body-soul balance. Kundalini meditation also lowers stress levels and enables one to act in a focused and purposeful manner, rather than leading their lives in automation mode. Benefits of Kundalini meditation The research on Kundalini meditation is still in premature stages, but researchers and psychologists have begun to acknowledge its potential benefits when practiced regularly alongside the other integral elements of kundalini yoga. Some of the science-backed benefits of kundalini meditation include: Lowered stress levels Kundalini yoga can reduce production of cortisol levels upon consistent practice, as shown in a 2017 study by Jocelyn N García-Sesnich, et al. Thirteen participants who practiced kundalini meditation along with other components of Kundalini yoga regularly for a period of three months exhibited a significant reduction in stress and anxiety levels. Improved sense of well-being A study conducted by Suresh Arumugam showed positive impact on psychological sense of well-being and improved memory power, encouraging a more holistic approach towards health in the participants. Reduced anxiety levels An eight-week study trial by M. G. Gabriel et al showed lowered anxiety levels and significant reduction in depression symptoms with regular practice of kundalini yoga, offering promising results for treating conditions like Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Improved cognitive and emotional functioning Researchers Harris A. Eyre et al attempted to study the effect of a 12-week kundalini yoga intervention on mild cognitive impairment with declining age. The subjects exhibited improved memory levels, along with a significant decline in apathy levels and depressive symptoms. How to practise Kundalini meditation Practitioners of Kundalini meditation agree that the best results are achieved by starting small and proceeding gradually at a sustained pace, even if all you can dedicate to it is a few minutes daily. Here's how to get started: 1. Get comfortable Choose a quiet place where you're less likely to be distracted or disturbed. For best results, it's ideal to meditate at the same spot every day. Wearing neutral-toned, comfortable and loose-fitting cotton clothing is recommended. 2. Decide on a convenient time While there are no hard and fast rules about when to meditate, it would be best to practice it at the same time each day consistently, without disruption. Morning meditations work great for setting good intentions for the day ahead, while evening meditation is good for unwinding. Meditation right after a meal is not advised, as your body needs all the energy at this time for digestion. 3. Choose a meditation span Again, there's no set ideal duration here, it's up to you to decide. Anywhere between five minutes to an hour of practice. Starting smaller and gradually increasing the duration will help you to focus better, while fitting the practice into your schedule with ease. 4. Get into a comfortable position You could sit in lotus pose or a cross-legged position on a rug or on the floor, or in a straight-backed chair with your feet flat on the floor. It's important to keep your spine in upright position through the duration of meditation. Close your eyes gently and press your palms together over your heart in prayer pose. In the Lotus position shutterstock/Syda Productions 5. Introduce a mantra Chanting a mantra can help you direct your energy and focus better while you meditate. A commonly chosen bija or seed mantra for this meditation is “Sat Nam” which translates to “I am the truth”. Chant “Sat” as you inhale and “Nam” as you exhale. This or any other mantra you personally prefer can be chanted out loud or silently in your head. 6. Focus on your breath movement Energize your breaths as you chant the chosen mantra. Start with a slow and prolonged inhale till your lungs feel full, then slowly exhale till your lungs feel completely empty. Ideally, the inhales and exhales should be broken into four parts with brief pauses. “The core philosophy underlying Kundalini meditation is to facilitate movement of energy through the body.” Repeat the cycle. Observe as your breath moves through your body. If your mind begins to wander, bring your attention back to the breathing pattern and the chants. 7. Draw meditation to a finish Set an alarm for a predetermined duration of meditation, and continue the breathing and chanting cycle till the alarm rings. Finish with a deep inhale as you raise your arms above, and relax as you exhale. 8. Increase the frequency gradually As you gradually increase the duration of meditation and practice more consistently, notice the energy rising from the base of the spine, coursing up along the length of your spine and outside via the top of your head. The takeaway: Kundalini meditation Realizing your fullest potential with Kundalini meditation could prove to be a rewarding journey. Regular practise can enable you to act from a place of purpose and intent, as opposed to reacting to your thoughts and external stimuli. It can also prompt a state of mindfulness by breaking unhelpful automated patterns in your life, thus clearing path for creative pursuits and more joyful existence. Main image: shutterstock/Dymtro Flisak happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy these benefits: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips and inspiration ■ share knowledge and help support others in our happiness forum Vedic meditation mantras | Tonglen meditation | Gratitude meditation Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Instead of striving for happiness through end goals or objects, try cultivating day-to-day well-being. Because, as Calvin Holbrook explains, science shows that happiness really is a journey and not a destination. 'Happiness is a journey, not a destination’ is an often-heard saying, and many people would argue that the search for well-being is the greatest motivator of all humankind. But does this motto really hold true? And what does science have to say on the subject? The expression suggests that humans shouldn’t believe that reaching a certain life goal will award them with happiness. The destination in question could be one of numerous end-points we're often striving for in life: that dream job, buying a first home, meeting the perfect partner, or snagging that huge pay rise you've been working so hard for. RELATED: Money Can't Buy Happiness (Except When You Spend It Like This!) Chances are if you do reach one of your destination life goals, you may indeed feel happier – but only temporarily. Why? Because of our happiness set-point. Happiness journey vs destination: set-point One theory in happiness research puts forward that humans have a so-called happiness ‘set-point’. According to psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, this genetic set-point makes up about 50 per cent of our happiness levels – the rest coming from our circumstances and how we live life. Enjoy the ride: happiness is a journey, not destination. shutterstock Our set-point largely determines our overall well-being, and all of us have different levels. Therefore, those with higher set-points will be happier most of the time compared with those that have a less joyful outlook (due to their lower set-point). Going through our life journey, we oscillate around this set-point. Unhappy life events shift happiness levels below their set-point while positive or exciting events boost your happiness levels above it. RELATED: Is Happiness Genetic? However, sooner or later, when that event becomes normalized or changes, happiness levels return to the original set-point (for example, when we feel the 'holiday blues' after coming back from the high of a recent holiday). Likewise, once you reach your supposed happiness destination, it may not last, or something may get in the way of the perceived happiness you thought it would bring. For example, after getting what you thought was your dream job, you actually discovered it brought you a lot of negative stress due to the additional workload (and your demanding new boss). That dream new apartment you bought? Well, the noisy neighbours upstairs are doing their best to destroy your peace. Just met your 'perfect' partner? You'll soon discover all the things about them that drive you up the wall! Well, you get the picture. “Chances are if you do reach one of your destination life goals, you will indeed feel happier – but only temporarily.” Additionally, at some point these final destinations may dissolve all together. Indeed, as the only consistent thing in life is change, believing that happiness is a destination rather than the journey itself makes little sense. In fact, this pursuit of happiness – the constant desire and drive to achieve things we believe will boost our well-being and joy – often ends in disappointment (the so-called ‘happiness trap’. ) Overcoming disappointment is a challenge in itself. Improving your journey to happiness As discussed, according to Lyubomirsky, our genetic set-point is responsible for around 50 per cent of our happiness. The remainder depends on our circumstances (10 per cent ) and our life activity (40 per cent). However, some studies suggest that by changing our day-to-day life activity – focusing on our journey and not a final destination – we can boost our internal set-point to a higher level and become happier. Indeed, there are many smaller, everyday activities we can choose to improve our general well-being. So, here are five that you can employ right away. 1. Be kind Studies show we can fix our happiness set point higher by helping others. In fact, according to one — analyzing data from the German Socio-Economic Panel Survey – the trait most strongly linked to long-term happiness increases is a regular commitment to altruism. It showed that the more compassionate we are, the happier our life journey seems to be. RELATED: The Benefits of Kindness This was backed up by another study by Sonja Lyubomirsky published in the Review of General Psychology in 2005. When she had students perform five weekly acts of kindness over a period of six weeks, they noticed a significant increase in happiness levels compared to a control group of students. Deciding to always be kind – even in a difficult or negative situation – can work wonders. 2. Practise gratitude Cultivating gratitude is scientifically-proven to increase your happiness journey, and is one of the simplest life changes you can make as it requires little effort. “As the only consistent thing in life is change, believing that happiness is a destination rather than the journey really makes little sense.” According to a 2003 report in the journal of Social Behavior and Personality, grateful people tend to appreciate simple pleasures (defined as "those pleasures in life that are available to most people”). Indeed, a study published in The Journal of Happiness Studies showed that writing a daily or weekly gratitude journal can make finding happiness easier. 3. Meditate Starting your day with just five to 10 minutes of meditation will help you to develop your happiness. Try meditating in the morning shortly after waking: the immediate heightened inner clarity it will give you will set you up for the rest of the day. In fact, the benefits of meditation are many. There are numerous studies that show that it can boost happiness levels by reducing stress hormones, shrinking the part of the brain that controls anxiety, and by stopping rumination, amongst other things. Inner focus: meditation will help your happiness journey And, according to Psychology Today, meditation is the strongest mental practice that has the power to reset your happiness set point, thus turning you into a more joyful person: regular meditation practice can literally rewire your brain so you can become happier. 4. Build quality relationships If happiness is a journey and not a destination, then it’s the people that are with you on your journey that can make all the difference. Science is clear on this: you can find and maintain happiness through developing quality relationships. Humans are a social species and need regular contact. In a 75-year, multigenerational study, Robert Waldinger measured happiness levels in people from Boston’s poorest neighborhoods. He found that the most joyful were those with high-quality social connections. 5. Choose happiness Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who devoted her career to working with end-of-life patients, found a theme in those coming to the end of their lives: they has a deep regret about not ‘letting’ themselves be happy. Ware, the author of The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying, penned a blog for the Huffington Post, in which she wrote: “Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. “Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again ... Life is a choice. It is your life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.” RELATED: Cherophobia: the Fear of Happiness Explained Takeaway: happiness is a journey All to often we are led to believe that by obtaining goals or possessions we will feel happier. But the reality is – and science agrees – that when we reach those destinations, our happiness levels quickly return to their original set-point. Indeed, happiness often leads to success, but success does not always lead to happiness. Instead, research shows that the best way to maintain consistent well-being is to focus on the everyday changes you can make in your life, with altruism, gratitude and quality relationships being important factors: happiness really is a journey and not a destination. And when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! In fact, research in the field of positive psychology has shown that happiness is a choice that anyone can make. As psychologist William James put it, “The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human can alter his life by altering his attitude.” ● Main image: shutterstock/Olga Danylenko happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Friendship | Empathy | Deep listening | Loneliness Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our magazine, as well as being an artist, lover of swimming, nature, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

Telling your kids 'no' often makes them only rebel more. So, what's the best way to deal with curious children when problems arise? Indian spiritual leader KAMLESH D. PATEL aka Daaji says it's time to stop nagging and start guiding... Parenthood isn't always a walk in the park! Here, spiritual leader and parent Daaji shares his advice on how to deal with a couple of common parenting issues, asked by author and educator Anuradha Bhatua. Anuradha Bhatua: Can we speak about the relationship between parents and teenagers? I have two children, and during their adolescence, they always felt, “We are right, mummy and papa are wrong. We are being curbed.” And this is the age when they are rebellious. For everything, the answer is, “No, I will not do it. My friend’s parents let them do this, you don’t let me do it, you are wrong.” And this is also the age when there is a little separation or distance developing between adolescent children and parents. What is your advice on this, and how do you mend this relationship? Daaji: “You cannot manhandle children at that age. If you are too strong they will break. If you are too weak they will become spoilt. The most important thing is how you prepare them for the future from day one. You cannot expect to see a change in them when they have turned 12 or 13. “There is no easy solution. We have to support them to a certain extent, for example, “I don’t mind you going out, but by this time you should come back.” Does that mean they will postpone or pre-pone the activities which are not so good? We don’t know. We have to trust them also. Have confidence that they will not do anything wrong. Be careful, but not too careful “If you constantly nag them and warn them, it frustrates them. Over carefulness from the parents’ side destroys the relationship. Be careful, but don’t show it. Be very subtle, and share stories with them – beautiful stories, inspiring stories. The problem is that we have stopped reading stories to them at bedtime. Even when they are 13, 14, 15 or 18 – why not even when they are at 30 – share a nice story with them. Share a nice joke with them. That will make them think. This rhythm has to be placed in their hearts from a young age. Daaji: “When they are teenagers, an inner awakening is there in them, and they are slowly shifting mentally and emotionally from their dependence on their parents to their own self.” “When children are awake, we can intensify their observational capacity, starting with how a flower blooms, how the stars shine – keep them busy with inspiring things. Let them count the stars. It is a beautiful moment actually. Let them see the leaves changing colors every day. Take the child every day to the same tree or plant and say, 'Look at this tree. We’ll come back tomorrow and we will see the color.' Continuously keep at these activities. Bring a coffee cup, fill it with soil, put some seeds in the soil, and see how new life sprouts. This training in observation that we give right from the beginning is very important.” Use nature and plants to train your children in the powers of observation Guide them in the right direction “Now, all this is up to a certain age. Afterwards we can teach them regularity in life: to wake up early in the morning, how to sit, how to talk, the kind of music to listen to, etc. This rhythm has to be placed in their hearts from a young age. When they are teenagers, an inner awakening is there in them, and they are slowly shifting mentally and emotionally from their dependence on their parents to their own self. They are searching, and they are discovering things. Our job is to guide them in the right direction. “Don’t be bossy. Don’t lecture them. If your child says, 'I want to try this out,' you can say, 'OK, go ahead. Let’s see what happens.' Don’t always be so negative. Don’t always question, ´What were you doing?´ You're putting your child on the defensive. You are teaching them how to lie. You could say instead, 'I wish I had known; I would have picked you up, my son or my daughter.' “Conversation is important, and communication is very important. Joking is the most important thing. Jokes that you used to share with little children do not need to stop as they become teenagers. Story sharing can continue. When you read a profound philosophical message from any source, share it with them with a lot of joy: 'My child, listen to this, how wonderful it is.'” Mistakes happen: don't worry “And when they do something wrong, it's not the end of the world. Children are not stupid. They know that they have made a mistake, but we make it worse by reminding them, 'You see what you have done? I knew you were going to do this.' Then they rebel. They already know that they have made a mistake and feel bad about it; now you're rubbing salt into the wound. “You have to be sympathetic in a very indirect way also. Behave as though you don’t know anything, because their pride is riding high at that time. They don’t want to show their mistakes to the parents whom they adore so much. Indeed, 'I don’t want to let my parents down' is also there. Even though a child may be going haywire, this inner sense is always prevailing. That is why they lie. That is why they hide. Otherwise, if they were so proud of their actions they would do it right in front of you. Their conscience is still active, still alive. Daaji: “Conversation is important, and communication is very important. Joking is the most important thing.” “But there are many parents these days who rear their children according to their desire and passion. So what is your desire, what is your passion, what do you want to create in your child? How are you going to design the destiny of your child? As your children grow, at every age, your approach to them must change. Once those children become adults and marry, they have their own lives, so why interfere? When they come to you, be the best you can be. Give the best you can, but there is no point interfering. Nagging them does not work: 'You must do this; you must not do that.' Don’t give them the chance to say you are stupid.” Educate yourself and embrace change “Also, be ahead of your children at the technological level, at the knowledge level. We stop learning things, and that is why our children are able to say, 'Oh! You don’t even know this!' At least have some idea about certain advancements, and the changes happening in the world. You cannot insulate yourself from the things that are happening. “Changes and trends need not be bad. They can be very ennobling. Now it has become a much freer society I would say, but we are paying a price for it: we are having a war! I mean there is so much boiling and mixing happening, like never before. I don’t think there was ever a period in the history of the human race like today. It is extremely unique. Extremely intense changes are taking place. At a good level there are intense changes, and at a bad level also there are intense changes. And we must help our children to go in the right direction. “Sometimes they make mistakes, and you are watching. Don’t let them go too far. Keep on showing them sensitively and sensibly about the perils, but not by becoming negative. Then they realise, 'My mom or my papa told me that, but I didn’t listen.' And when such things happen a few times they will have the confidence that, 'They are more experienced than me. Now it's time to listen.' Advise your children but be prepared to let them make mistakes too. “This can happen only when you give them the freedom to do certain things. Let them make mistakes. Let them understand on their own that you advised them correctly. Slowly they will have more confidence that, 'My parents are wise.' Of course, it's not always universal, as exceptions are always there in life situations, but by and large, respect will be greater when you don’t interfere. “You have to be very indirect. You have to play your role in such a way that children don’t feel that you're influencing them in any way. Always be guided by your heart. When you meditate, you will receive the guidance: 'This is what I should be doing or not doing.' Anuradha Bhatua: “Some parents I know were distraught because they found out their teenage son had started smoking and drinking with his friends, and there was a showdown. How does one handle that situation?” Daaji: “Give some level of liberty to your child. Smoking is not the end of the world. Drinking is also not the end of the world. It's not that you're giving them freedom to do all these things, but at times you have to let children learn certain lessons on their own by making mistakes. When you see that he or she is smoking, find some funny stories or movies depicting the negative effects of such a bad habit and share it with them. There is a lot of information available on drugs, drinking, etc. Provide it to them. “Help your children face peer pressure in doing or not doing certain things with their friends. Peer pressure kills them. We have to help them remove the guilt that develops because of such peer pressure. We have to give them the confidence that, “You have the ability to say ‘no’ to certain things. Use your wisdom; guide your friends. They can be foolish but you are wiser. If you go ahead and do it, see the impact of it on your physical system and mental system. “If they still insist, go ahead and give them the freedom. Tell them, 'I will buy you a carton of cigarettes, but see for yourself how it affects your studies and your physical well-being.' Show them all the negative things that can happen because of such indulgence. Daaji: “We have to give them the confidence that, 'You have the ability to say “no” to certain things.' Use your wisdom; guide your friends. They can be foolish but you are wiser.” “I remember in the 80s, when my boys were born one after the other, I used to get a newsletter on how to raise children. The number one suggestion was, 'Never say, “Do this” directly.' It's a beautiful suggestion, beautiful advice. Never force a child and say, 'You must sleep now.' Instead, say something like, 'Let’s make a rule: it's nine o’clock. When this hand comes to this number you must sleep because the clock says so.' Children understand all that. Afterwards, as they grow, they argue differently, and that's a different matter, but when they are young it's a matter of training. Don’t teach them the art of rebelling from an early age. Let them blame the clock!” ● Interviewed by ANURADHA BHATIA. Images: colourbox.com This article was first published in Heartfulness magazine. The copyright is owned by Sahaj Marg Spirituality Foundation and it's reproduced here with kind permission. Other articles by the author and similar articles can be accessed at http://www.heartfulnessmagazine.com Written by Kamlesh Patel Kamlesh Patel is the world teacher of Heartfulness, and the fourth spiritual Guide in the Sahaj Marg system of Raja Yoga. He oversees Heartfulness centers and ashrams in over 150 countries, and guides the thousands of certified Heartfulness trainers who are permitted to impart Yogic Transmission under his care. Known to many as Daaji, he is also an innovator and researcher, equally at home in the inner world of spirituality and the outer world of science, blending the two into transcendental research on the evolution of consciousness. Building on the insights of his first Guide, Ram Chandra of Shahjahanpur, he is expanding our understanding of the purpose of human existence to a new level, so necessary at this pivotal time in human history.

A new book explains how we can learn empathy and have better social interactions. By Jill Suttie on behalf of the Greater Good Science Center. It’s hard to watch someone who is suffering. We may feel their pain or absorb their sorrow; we may worry that we won’t know what to do or say. Those uncomfortable moments might make us turn away from their distress — to preserve our own well-being or to carry on with our lives. But this is the wrong approach, says psychiatrist and researcher Helen Riess, author of the new book The Empathy Effect. The ability to connect empathically with others — to feel with them, to care about their well-being, and to act with compassion — is critical to our lives, helping us to get along, work more effectively, and thrive as a society. Most of Riess’s research on empathy has focused on health care. Since doctors are confronted with suffering day in and day out, their situation is fitting for observing how empathy affects well-being. While doctors may think turning off their feelings and creating emotional distance helps them remain objective and provide better care, Riess’s research has shown that doing so makes patients distrustful, disgruntled, and less cooperative. And it makes for lonelier, less effective, and more burned-out physicians. The ability to connect with others is critical fizkes/shutterstock What should doctors — and the rest of us — do instead? Practice empathy, says Riess. Not only does being empathic improve health care, she argues, it also improves human interactions in general. “All parties are equally enriched when we perceive and respond to each other with empathy and compassion,” she writes. “After all, it’s the human bond that adds the music to the words in life.” What is empathy? Many confuse empathy (feeling with someone) with sympathy (feeling sorry for someone), and even researchers who study it have muddied the waters with many definitions. But Riess does a good job of untangling that and explaining the many dimensions of empathy. Empathy, she writes, involves an ability to perceive others’ feelings (and to recognize our own emotions), to imagine why someone might be feeling a certain way, and to have concern for their welfare. Once empathy is activated, compassionate action is the most logical response. “The ability to connect empathically with others — to feel with them, to care about their well-being, and to act with compassion — is critical to our lives.” Empathy relies on specific parts of the brain that evolved to enable emotional connection with others and the motivation to care. When we see someone in pain — let’s say, because we witnessed them accidentally cut themselves — pain pathways in our own brains light up, though to a lesser degree. This is the emotional part of empathy — sometimes called emotional resonance — that many doctors ignore or push away, though that works against their compassionate instincts, says Riess. 
“[Your] sophisticated neurological system allows you to observe others hurting and gives you just enough of a taste of the pain to consider helping them out,” she writes. Still, we can’t rely on emotional resonance alone. For one thing, it tends to be stronger for people who are similar to us, and that’s problematic in a doctor’s office… and in life. Luckily, empathy also has a cognitive component — an understanding that our feelings may not be the same as someone else’s. Separating our pain from theirs allows us to soothe any discomfort we feel, while staying curious about what they are going through. “We must understand the situation from the other person’s physical, psychological, social, and spiritual perspectives,” she says. The third aspect of empathy is concern — “the inner motivation that moves people to respond and express the urge to care about another person’s welfare.” Unfortunately, that concern varies a lot from person to person and is influenced by different environmental factors, such as how much the person in need resembles you (and your “tribe”), whether you encounter suffering in one person or the suffering of multitudes, whether you think someone deserves to suffer because of their bad behavior, and your social status (the more powerful or rich you are, the less likely you will be to notice suffering and care to intervene). This suggests that while empathy is a built-in biological response to suffering, we still need to work at it, if we want to use it in more trying situations. Empathy can be taught We may find it hard to empathize with some people. But that doesn’t mean we can’t strengthen our empathy muscles, according to Riess. She suggests becoming more adept at perceiving others’ emotions, learning self-regulation techniques to help us not get overwhelmed by excessive emotional resonance, and finding ways to encourage perspective taking. Empathy is a built-in biological response to suffering To that end, she has developed a program called EMPATHICS that has been taught to physicians and successfully improves their ability to read emotions and their level of burnout, as well as patient satisfaction. This is good news, as doctor/patient relationships seem to make a significant contribution to patient health. Riess uses the acronym EMPATHY to outline the steps of her program: 
E: Eye contact. An appropriate level of eye contact makes people feel seen and improves effective communication. Riess recommends focusing on someone’s eyes at least long enough to gauge eye color, and making sure you're face to face when communicating. M: Muscles in facial expressions. As humans, we often automatically mimic other people’s expressions without even realizing it. By being able to identify another’s feelings — often by distinctive facial muscle patterns — and mirroring them, we can help communicate empathy. P: Posture. Sitting in a slumped position can indicate a lack of interest, dejection, or sadness; sitting upright signals respect and confidence. By understanding what postures communicate, we can take a more open posture — face forward, legs and arms uncrossed, leaning toward someone — to encourage more open communication and trust. A: Affect (or emotions). Learning to identify what another is feeling and naming it can help us better understand their behavior or the message behind their words. T: Tone. “Because tone of voice conveys over 38 per cent of the nonverbal emotional content of what a person communicates, it is a vital key to empathy,” writes Riess. She suggests matching the volume and tone of the person you are talking to and, generally, using a soothing tone to make someone feel heard. However, when a person is communicating outrage, moderating your tone — rather than matching theirs — is more appropriate. H: Hearing. Too often, we don’t truly listen to one another, possibly because of preconceptions or simply being too distracted and stressed. Empathic listening means asking questions that help people express what’s really going on and listening without judgement. Y: Your response. Riess is not talking about what you’ll say next, but how you resonate with the person you are talking to. Whether or not we’re aware of it, we tend to synch up emotionally with people, and how well we do it plays a role in how much we understand and like them. Empathy beyond health care settings While Riess has mostly focused on doctor/patient relationships, her book is a plea to look beyond health care and imagine a world where empathy is infused into everyday life. Even young children can read others’ emotions and have a propensity to want to help people in distress, Riess points out. We could help them to build on those skills through role modeling and giving them opportunities to flex their empathy muscles. How well parents understand their children’s emotions, try to take their perspective, and affirm their worth is tied to how they do later in life. Eye contact improves effective empathetic communication “When a child is not mirrored, he may give up trying to achieve his goals, or if he becomes a high-achiever, his accomplishments may give him little pleasure,” she writes. Of course, as children grow, other relationships become important, too. School teachers can increase children’s sense of self-worth by treating them with respect and warmth, avoiding harsh disciplinary tactics, and engaging them in learning, says Riess. They can also directly teach empathy through literature, simulations, and other techniques. “We may find it hard to empathize with some people. But that doesn’t mean we can’t strengthen our empathy muscles.” Riess describes other instances where empathy is crucial — for example, when we encounter people who are different from us, when we ourselves have made a mistake and need self-empathy, in our workplaces, and even within government. And she examines the potential downsides of empathy, too — like when perspective taking is used to get inside people’s heads and manipulate them rather than to show caring. Still, the importance of empathy in everyday life cannot be oversold. By understanding how it works and can be augmented in ourselves and our children, we have one of the key tools to cultural transformation, Riess believes. She writes, “We have hope to help shape a more civil society, respectful discourse, understanding of others, and a humane world.” ● Main image: Pressmaster/shutterstock Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

Holidays aren't always a time of cheer: especially if you've lost a loved one and are grieving. Paula Stephens knows this feeling all too well. Here she shares 10 practical tips for coping with holiday grief. I lost my Dad on Christmas Eve when I was just 16. The next year my Mom, Grandma and I took our holiday grief on vacation and found ourselves on a beach in Hawaii for the entire festive season. It was a great way to break with the traditions and memories none of us wanted to face. My most vivid memory of that Hawaiian vacation was sitting next to an older gentleman at dinner on Christmas Eve and noticing he was wearing the exact same sweater my Dad would’ve been wearing. Well, this brought my grief right back up to the surface and I left the dinner to go down to the beach and cry. 10 tips for coping with holiday grief Needless to say, it’s been a long time since I felt untarnished joy and happiness during the holiday season. But, I believe that we are deserving of joy during the holidays, even if it comes balanced with the heartache and longing for the person we love and are missing deeply. In my book, From Grief to Growth, I talk about an essential element of healing that is learning to hold both joy and sadness in the same moment. There is no more challenging time to do this than during the holidays. This is why I've put together these ten easy-to-follow tips that will support you as you navigate coping during the holiday season. I don’t like to say ‘survive the holidays,’ because I want to encourage you to have the mindset that you're always fully capable of more than survival. These are simple, practical tips that don’t require a lot on your part, but are focused to help you the most this time of year. 1. List the events you're most worried about Often, much of our holiday grief comes from not knowing what’s going to happen or how traditions and events are going to feel differently after the loss of a loved one. So, take some quiet time to think through what specific traditions you're most concerned about. The best way to do this is to find some time to sit quietly and connect with your breath. Once you’ve centered yourself, ask yourself the question: “What events or traditions are creating the most anxiety for me right now?” Your inner knowing has the answer. You might immediately be pulled to an event or activity. Notice how your body feels, the sensations and energy around the activity. Coping with loss during the holidays is a challenge shutterstock/Zivica Kerkez If nothing comes up immediately then begin to bring your thoughts to various holiday activities. Check in with each one – tree decorating, cookie exchange, for example. How does each one feel; what comes up? You might find some are more emotionally charged than others. 2. Consider which events/traditions you want to keep Be open to the idea that some traditions you will want to wrap in love and keep, while others will need to be shelved for a while (and maybe for ever). Recognize the traditions you keep will never be the same, but keeping them honors the love you feel for the person you lost. Every year will be a little bit different, and what feels right this year might not feel the same in the coming years. Grief is a process and you must be willing to evolve with it. Always be open to what will help you move forward in your grief… and sometimes we need to go backwards to go forward! Get out your list from tip one. Now, let’s take the next steps: • Which events do you want to keep this year? • Which events are too painful this year or don’t feel right? • What or how can you modify an event? If you're undecided on some, come back to your list again later or sit with the idea of doing that event and see what comes up. I know we can’t always control everything about the holiday seasons with family being involved, etc, but don’t worry. 3. Brainstorm how you want to honor your loved one Even if you decide to escape the entire holiday season and fly away to Hawaii for the holidays (been there, done that!), it’s important that you take time to honor your loved one. It could be with a donation of time or money, or by creating a sacred space or a new tradition. No matter what you decide, be mindful about setting time aside to actively honor your loss. What would you like to do this year to include your loved one in the holiday season? What do you need to do to make this come to fruition? 4. Let the tears flow Quite simply, cry. Don’t be the tough guy or girl who pretends it’s all good – because it's probably not. You’re going through a season or anniversary without someone who was a very important part of your life and coping with holiday grief is part of that. By yourself or with your besties, it doesn’t matter, just let it happen. "Much of our holiday grief comes from not knowing what’s going to happen or how traditions and events are going to feel differently after the loss of a loved one.” Another way to look at this is: are you checking in with yourself to know what’s going on emotionally and physically? Are you filling your days with busy activity to disconnect from the emotional heartache you would feel if you had a moment of downtime? Or, perhaps, you're withdrawing from friends, family and social activities. There isn’t a right or wrong way to deal with holiday grief, but we need to be aware of our tendencies to protect ourselves or how we might fall into negative coping strategies. Sometimes a good cry is a better reset than the work we put into avoiding our reality. So, if you need a good cry, have one. 5.Tell friends and family how you're feeling Family and friends might not know exactly which activities you’ll struggle with: what might be hard and/or memorable to them might not be the same for you. Generally speaking, they will want to support you, especially with managing your grief during the holiday season. But, you're the only one who knows what you need and how you're feeling, so don’t make it harder for them by expecting them to guess what this is like for you. Tree of knowledge: dealing with holiday grief We all experience grief differently, so share your fears, concerns and desires. Express what’s important to you or how you would like to handle a specific event. It doesn’t mean you'll always get what you want or need, but it means that you have given voice to your grief and honored your process. 6. Prioritize your self-care There's no more important time to focus your energy on self-care than during the holidays. Lack of sleep, poor food choices, increased alcohol consumption, decreased exercise and increased stress all add up to a massive grief hangover! The 8 types of grief explained 7 healing quotes on grief to inspire How to help a grieving friend Your emotional self is already on overdrive and this will leave your immune system susceptible to illness and your physical body exhausted. Make hydration, sleep, whole foods, stress management and exercise a priority leading up to and including any seasonal events. Care for yourself by: eating a healthy breakfast, drinking more water, going to bed 30 minutes early, journaling, being outside, connecting with nature, and skipping that second (or third) drink at a party! 7. Manage your energy This is a continuation of the last tip. Even if you are taking care of yourself, notice when your tank is getting close to empty. This is especially important if you're the type of person who likes to stay busy to keep their mind off things. Exhaustion (physical and emotional) is often the root cause of emotional meltdowns. And, as you know, grieving is emotional exhausting by itself, then you add the emotional stress of the holidays and your tank is already half empty! So, remember that it’s OK to say ‘no’ to events, or change your ‘yes’ to a ‘no’ at the last minute if you notice you're not feeling up to the task. List three ways you know you’re getting low on energy (ie, irritable, fatigue, craving sugar/caffeine). Now list three ways you can fill your tank (ie: nap, take a bath, journal, read a book). 8. Prioritize work/social events The holidays are an especially busy time of year for extra parties and events – work, neighborhood and family are examples. Take time to choose only one or two events that are important for you to attend. These might be required for your job or things you just simply don’t want to miss. Be mindful about your selection and take your time to RSVP. For social events that you might have attended with your loved one, ask yourself if you're ready for that situation. Imagine yourself in that environment. Who will be at the event? What will it be like to attend? “We are deserving of joy during the holidays, even if it comes balanced with the heartache and longing for the person we love and are missing deeply.” Then, have an exit strategy! If it’s required that you attend, or you feel like you ‘should’ go, make sure you have a plan for getting out if things get too difficult. This might be driving a separate car or letting the host know you will be not be staying long. 9. Build time in for you As you're planning your social events, make sure you put ‘me time' on the calendar. Whether that's to get out into nature and hike, get a massage, read a book, take a bath, it doesn’t matter – just build in time to recharge your batteries. This could also include making time to be with close friends or family that help you feel connected and loved. Be sure to reach out to these people and let them know you might need some support during the holiday season. Write a list of the people you can connect with and/or activities that soothe your soul. And, again, since people aren’t mind readers, let people know you're taking care of yourself by scheduling time to reflect and recharge. 10. Give back One of the most amazing ways to cope with your grief during an anniversary or holiday season is to make it a little better for someone else. Unfortunately, there's so much suffering around the holidays – in this we are not alone. Donate to a charity in your loved one’s name. Give your time to helping others. Buy a gift for someone in a hospital or nursing home. Pay for the person behind you at Starbucks. Volunteer your time. The options for random acts of kindness are endless. Honestly, nothing soothes and heals our own wounds more than helping someone else. How can you help someone else feel comforted this holiday season? Giving doesn’t have to be financial – you can give of your time, you can donate clothes or other items you no longer use. I hope my tips will hope you manage and cope with grief this holiday season and that you enjoy this time. You deserve it! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Friendship | Mindfulness | Vulnerability | Burnout Written by Paula Stephens Paula Stephens, M.A. is the founder of Crazy Good Grief, an organization that teaches positive growth and resilience after the loss of a loved one. Her work is inspired by the personal loss of her oldest son who passed away unexpectedly while home on leave from the Army. Paula is a speaker, yogi and life coach. She's also the author of From Grief to Growth: 5 Essential Elements to Give your Grief Purpose and Grow from Your Experience. Paula is a practicing Buddhist and recently became the first Buddhist Chaplain to work at the county jail where she lives. She is the mother of four boys and lives in Littleton, Colorado.

Who exactly is Tara Brach? Ed Gould takes an in-depth look at the career of this respected writer, psychologist, spiritual teacher and meditation and mindfulness expert. With a PhD in Clinical Psychology, Tara Brach is an American psychologist and writer, mostly associated with advocating for the role of Eastern spiritual practices in Western contexts. She grew as a Unitarian and lives in Virginia with her husband, a teacher of meditation and yoga. Tara Brach helped found the Insight Meditation Community in Washington DC in 1998. This spiritual community teaches and practices insight (or Vipassana, as referred to by Buddhists). Her teaching focuses on drawing attention to the mindful attention to the inner life of people, as well as developing a full and compassionate engagement with the world. Tara Brach: meditation and teaching A spiritual teacher who travels all over America, Tara teaches online, in written form, and also in person. She has visited Europe to discuss her views on meditation and Eastern spirituality in psychology. Her teaching focuses on the application of what are essentially Buddhist teachings to bring about healing at an emotional level. Her first published work, Radical Acceptance, dealt with how practices such as mindfulness can be effective in healing trauma. Other written teachings offer similar suggestions, such as how tapping into inner peace and wisdom can help people who are going through psychological difficulties and stressful situations. “Imperfection is not our personal problem: it's a natural part of existing.” Tara Brach, from her book Radical Acceptance In person, Tara Brach is well-versed as a presenter. In addition, she teaches classes, provides workshops and leads silent meditations. Brach is also well-known as a teacher of mindfulness and meditation on the internet. She even produces a regular podcast which is so popular it's downloaded around one million times every month! Education and background Tara Brach gained her qualification in psychology from the Fielding Institute. Her dissertation centred on a ground-breaking analysis of the effectiveness of meditation in the healing of certain eating disorders. As an undergraduate, she received a double major in psychology and political science from Clark University. Tara Brach travels globally teaching on meditation and mindfulness © Facebook/Tara Brach It was at this time in her life that Brach began attending yoga classes, something which led to an interest in exploring Eastern approaches regarding inner transformation. After graduation, she chose to spend a decade in an ashram (a spiritual hermitage) where she developed techniques in concentrative meditation. Later, she attended a Buddhist Insight Meditation retreat run by Joseph Goldstein. During this part of her life, Brach trained her mind in unconditional and loving presence. “I knew this was a path of true freedom,” she says. Brach bases many of her past teachings around the processional development in her life. It's from her direct personal experiences with the role of Eastern spirituality in her own life, as well as her academic understanding of clinical psychology, that has led to her particular vision for blending Buddhist ideas with psychological ones. Written works Among the many notable works of Tara Brach is her book, Radical Self-Acceptance: A Buddhist Guide to Freeing Yourself from Shame. The book looks into how crippling self-judgements and inner conflicts can lead to futile perfectionism, loneliness and an over-reliance on self-worth based on work. In it, Brach offers interpretations of Buddhist tales and meditations to show how to overcome such judgements by a radical acceptance of one's self. “Tara Brach is well-known as a teacher of mindfulness and meditation on the internet. She even produces a regular podcast.” Another title worth seeking out is True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart. It deals with subject matter such as obsessive behaviour, life-changing illness and relationship breakdown. Brach has also produced a free guide to meditation which is available in several languages. This easy-to-read guide provides entry-level advice for establishing a meditative regime. It deals with hindrances to meditation and guidance on how to sustain meditation as a practice (we have some ideas of our own; check out Five strategies to help you develop a meditation practice). Online resources for Tara Brach As mentioned, many of Brach's teachings and ideas in psychology are accessible via the net, much of it for free. Although she frequently teaches in person, for many people it's the online world which has brought her vision of a blend Western psychology and Eastern spiritual teachings to the fore. You can find several online courses on mindfulness, which she developed with Jack Kornfield, at Soundtrue. We've already tried Mindfulness Daily – an app which provides daily lessons and shot meditations. Tara Brach bases many of her teachings around her life development © tarabrach.com Brach's audio podcasts, which include led meditations, can be opened in iTunes for free. Another place to listen to her talks and other audio freely is via her website which includes an integrated audio player. The archive goes back several years, so there's plenty to hear and learn from. Some of Brach's past talks are also available on video. They offer many insights into matters such as awakening consciousness, seeking internal and external truths and spiritual empowerment. While addressing from a lectern, Brach's style is engaging and often compelling while never becoming overly technical in either psychological or spiritual terminology. Her website hosts a number of these videos. She also has her own YouTube channel which includes a fascinating free-to-watch playlist named 'Finding True Refuge'. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Tara Brach: meditation talks and events As a practising psychotherapist and meditation teacher, some of Brach's talks and training sessions are for professionals only. For example, some of her groundbreaking work in showing how psychotherapists can integrate mindfulness strategies into their clinical work is conducted in academic institutions in the United States only. However, public events are online. Other than Brach's frequent work with Vipassana meditation instruction, occasional retreat teaching sessions are listed on her website. She also maintains regular updates of her Facebook page which details upcoming talks and public events. ● Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's also a practitioner of Reiki.

The ancient technique of tummo breathing and meditation has been practised for decades by Tibetan monks in order to raise their body temperature. But could its benefits also extend to help stress-related conditions? Dee Marques finds out. Most of us have struggled with anxiety or fear during our lives in one way or another. If you’re part of the happiness community, you’re probably already familiar with some common tools and techniques that can help reduce stress and worry. In previous blog posts, we’ve covered breathing and meditation techniques like Tonglen or Kundalini. Now it's time to dive deep into another helpful method to feel centred and calm: tummo breathing and meditation. Tummo breathing: the studies Let’s start with a little background. Tummo, which is sometimes called Chandali yoga, is a Tibetan meditation technique that relies on a mix of breathing and visualization exercises. This ancient practice is mentioned in sacred texts dating back to the 8th century, where the word “tummo” means “heat”. RELATED: Visualization Meditation – How to Practise It The fact that tummo originated in Tibet isn’t a coincidence. Due to its high altitude, temperatures in the Tibetan plateau often drop below zero. You probably know how difficult it is to focus and relax when you feel cold, and this is something that Tibetan Buddhist monks had to deal with. The practice of tummo breathing and meditation emerged in response to this challenge, as its main purpose is to awaken the body’s inner fire. As someone who is affected by low temperatures, I was intrigued about tummo breathing. After all, if we’re able to control body temperature, we’re also able to control other biological processes that interfere with our inner peace. But is it really possible to do this? Tummo breathing originates from Tibetan monks Well, according to science, yes: various studies confirm how tummo is able to do exactly what it claims. One in particular was conducted by researchers from Harvard University who had met the Dalai Lama during his visit to the United States. Throughout the 1980s, these researchers visited remote Buddhist monasteries in Tibet and northern India. Incredibly, they found that monks who practised tummo breathing could raise the temperature of their skin – by up to seven degrees. This feat is even more astonishing when we consider the conditions under which these monks meditated. According to the study authors, they only wore basic woollen robes and slept outdoors directly on rocks, with no mattress or insulation other than their clothes. Overnight, temperatures dropped to up to -17C and the monks slept without so much as a shiver – thanks to tummo meditation and breathing. Another study went even further by wrapping freezing-cold and wet sheets around the monks’ shoulders while they meditated with tummo. The results were the same: not even a shiver. Later on, magnetic resonance studies found that during meditation, the monks had an unusual blood flow in the brain area and they hypothesized that this allowed the brain to take over body functions like temperature and metabolism. RELATED: Uncovering the Healing Power of the Breath These findings point at the many uses of tummo breathing, even if we’re not Tibetan monks. One of the leading researchers in the studies stated that tummo meditation can deepen the connection between mind and body, and give us better tools to treat stress-related conditions, including high blood pressure, depression, insomnia and anxiety. “Monks who practised tummo breathing could raise the temperature of their skin – by up to seven degrees.” So, tummo is worth a try even if you've already practised other types of meditation, since it’s one more way to expand your range of stress-reducing tools. The more tools you have, the better equipped you’ll be to protect your well-being. The benefits of tummo breathing Being able to raise or maintain a reasonable body temperature is an interesting perk, but this is far from the main benefit or purpose of tummo breathing. In fact, tummo can give us a deeper appreciation of the mind-body connection and of how powerful our thoughts can be. This practice can bring similar benefits involved in other breathing techniques, including a healthier stress response that benefits the immune system. Moreover, deep breathing can tone up the vagus nerve, which is responsible for controlling the correct functioning of several organs. RELATED: Conscious Breathing: What Is It and How Do We Benefit From It? And, if done regularly or in combination with other controlled breathing techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing, tummo breathing can bring all the above benefits plus core stability, increased tolerance for high-intensity exercise, and a reduced risk of muscle injury. How to practise tummo breathing The basic idea is to tap into your internal energy through a series of breathing exercises and visualizations so that “psychic” heat becomes “actual” heat. Suggested posture for tummo breathing and meditation To start with, sit in a comfortable position. Before you start this session, exhale forcefully to clear any stagnant energy from the lungs. Then follow these steps: Bring your hands together in front of you and rub them energetically. When your hands are warm, place your left hand on your navel, and the right hand over it. Keep your hands in this position for the entire session. Start the first tummo breathing sequence: inhale deeply while pulling your shoulders back and letting the rib cage expand. Exhale loudly bringing your shoulders forward. Repeat the inhale-exhale sequence 3 or 4 times. Now switch to gentle breathing for a few seconds. Start the second sequence by inhaling deeply. Hold your breath for a couple of seconds and keep your shoulders square. Exhale, let your shoulders relax, and push your abdomen out. Repeat the inhale-exhale sequence 2 or 3 times. Switch to gentle breathing for a few seconds. Repeat the first sequence 5 times. Before you exhale for the last time, hold your breath for 2 seconds, then exhale slowly. There’s a second version of tummo breathing where instead of pushing the abdomen out, you let it go back to its natural position. You can see a demonstration in this YouTube video, from minute 18:00 onward. The first part of the video demonstrates the exercise described above. “Tummo breathing can give us better tools to treat stress-related conditions, including high blood pressure, depression, insomnia and anxiety.” In Tibetan Buddhism, tummo breathing is accompanied by visualization exercises to further raise the body’s temperature. The main technique involves concentrating on images of flames or fire and associated them to key parts of the body. For example: Visualize the area surrounding the second chakra – a couple of fingers beneath the belly button – being fuelled by a fast-burning fire. Visualize the spinal cord as if it was made up of flames which rise up your body from the navel to the crown of the head. Visualize your hands and feet as if they were the sun, and focus on their radiating and warming effect. The Takeaway: Tummo breathing Tummo breathing and meditation is an ancient technique that can help establish a deeper connection between mind and body. Even if you’re not able to raise your body temperature like a Tibetan monk, tummo can be an interesting addition to your arsenal of meditation and relaxation techniques. • Images: shutterstock/Dmitry Kalinovsky, shutterstock/kei907 Have you tried tummo breathing techniques? Let us know how it worked for you in the comments! happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Enlightenment | Meditation | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

People who spent more time in nature these past two years have been happier and less stressed. By Jill Suttie on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. Living through the COVID-19 pandemic has had a severe impact on people’s mental health and well-being. Restricted movement, loss and isolation have led to increases in depression, anxiety disorders, stress, sleep disorders and more. The effects have been even harsher for teens. How can we help protect our well-being during this particularly difficult time? Though a public health response is definitely called for, one way we might try to help ourselves this year is spending more time immersed in nature. In the last decade or so, research on the health benefits of nature experiences has exploded, confirming what many people know intuitively – that green spaces are good for mental well-being, whether you’re walking outdoors, looking at beautiful views, or even just seeing videos of nature. This is definitely the case for me. Even before the pandemic hit, I’d realized that I was not spending as much time outdoors as I wanted to – even though I knew from personal experience and science that being in nature made me happier, kinder and more creative. So, in January 2020, I began taking daily walks in the hills near my home, enjoying the awe-inspiring beauty while giving my mind a rest and my body a workout. Once lockdowns began, I continued my regular walks and found it helped me feel less stressed, in a better mood, and more productive. Apparently, I’m not alone. According to new research, nature has helped many people with their mental health during the pandemic. Here are some of the ways nature experiences might benefit us during this fraught time. Nature reduces stress Perhaps the most robust finding on the psychological benefits of nature is that being in green spaces reduces our stress. Experiments have shown that people who walk in a nature area – a forest or park, for example – feel less stress than those who walk in an urban setting, even when the exercise they’re getting is the same. In fact, some countries have introduced the concept of “forest bathing” to fight the effects of modern urban living. During the pandemic, many people have had to restrict their movement, making it harder to get outside. But those who could get out definitely benefitted from it, while those who couldn’t still fared better from just having views of nature. Less stress, more smiles shutterstock/Prostock-studio One study looked at how much time people spent outdoors before and during the pandemic and whether they increased or decreased their outdoor time. The researchers found that people who had maintained or increased their time outside were less stressed and had greater psychological well-being than those who’d decreased their time. RELATED: Forest bathing – 6 science-backed benefits Another study conducted during Israel‘s lockdown found that spending time outside – or even just having a natural view from one’s window – reduced stress and increased happiness. This was true even if people had suffered economically because of the pandemic – another stressor on top of an already stressful situation. A recent study suggests that one reason for this might be that being in a green space affects us physiologically, especially places rich in plant life that contain bodies of water or uneven terrain. People who were monitored while passing through green spaces were shown to sweat less, breathe better, and have greater heart rate variability (all signs of lower stress or better recovery from stress). These studies and others point to the conclusion that nature experiences are good for managing stress. Nature helps us feel restored Since the pandemic began, many of us are spending a lot more time online in Zoom meetings or Zoom classes. While it’s great to have the technology available for connecting with others and getting work done, it can be exhausting to stare at a screen for so long and try to stay focused. That’s why it can help to give ourselves an attention break by getting outdoors. Recovery from information overload (online or otherwise), sometimes called attention restoration, is one of the main ways that being in a natural or green setting gives our minds a rest. “Perhaps the most robust finding on the psychological benefits of nature is that being in green spaces reduces our stress.” After taking that break, our brains may be sharper. For example, exposure to nature helps us perform better on tasks requiring attention and can even lead to greater creative problem-solving. Even a simulated nature experience helped people recover from overstimulation and do better at cognitive tests. Why is nature restorative? No one knows for sure. But a recent neuroscience study compared the brain activity of people spending time in a wooded garden and a traffic island and found that being in the natural setting allowed their brains to synchronize alpha and theta brain waves (related to calm and daydreaming, respectively). This may explain why nature induces a kind of relaxed attention that provides people with a respite from overstimulation – something we could all use these days! Nature helps stave off depression, anxiety and physical complaints Nature may help us improve our psychological health during COVID for other reasons, too – by staving off depression, anxiety and physical complaints (like not getting enough sleep). In a study in Spain and Portugal conducted between March and May 2020, people reported on how much access they had to green spaces like private yards, views of nature, and public parks, and on their stress levels, physical complaints, and psychological distress. After taking into account how much COVID lockdowns had affected people’s employment, income, and housing situation, researchers found that people accessing nature more had lower psychological distress and fewer physical complaints than those with less access. Similarly, a study in Tokyo found that people who were locked down during the pandemic were less depressed, anxious, and lonely, and happier and more satisfied with their lives, if they spent time in green spaces (like parks) or had a view of greenery from their window. Nature makes us happier with our lives The Greater Good Science Center has joined an editorial partnership with SSIR, The Wellbeing Project, India Development Review, and The Skoll Foundation to explore the important, but often overlooked, connection between inner well-being and effective social change. This article is part of that partnership. This may be particularly relevant for groups most affected by COVID isolation – including adolescents. A recent study found that teens who spent more time outdoors during the pandemic fared better on many mental health indicators than those who spent less time outdoors – especially if they lived in an urban community. One reason nature might improve our mental health is that it helps us let go of endless thought loops about what’s wrong with the world – what psychologists call “rumination,” which is tied to depression, anxiety, and poor sleep. A recent study found that participants who spent more time interacting with nature in some way – for example, walking outside, biking, gardening, playing games or sports, or hanging out in a park – ruminated less, and in turn experienced more positive feelings and fewer negative feelings. That’s probably why a recent review of several experimental studies found that nature-based recreational activities – like walking in parks, hiking, rafting, or backpacking – have positive effects on our mental health, including making us less depressed and anxious. Nature makes us happier and more satisfied with life If nature experiences decrease stress, restore our depleted brains, and reduce rumination and other symptoms of psychological distress, they should also make us happier. Many past studies – including some of those mentioned above – have found this to be true. In one large study, researchers used smartphones to collect data from more than 20,000 people in real time comparing how they felt at different points during their day and using GPS to determine where they were. The researchers found that, overall, people felt happier when they were outdoors in green or natural spaces compared to urban spaces, regardless of the weather, activity, or who was with them. Another study surveyed people living in Puget Sound, Washington, and found that they were more satisfied with life if they engaged with nature more. “In a review of many studies, people more connected to nature tended to have more positive feelings, vitality and life satisfaction.” This may be good news for people who’ve been hit particularly hard by the pandemic – including our essential workers. In a recent study, a group of 71 health care workers and police in China were randomly assigned to watch short video clips of either natural scenes or urban scenes every day for five days, reporting their well-being over time. Those who watched the nature scenes felt more positive feelings and fewer negative feelings and greater well-being overall than those watching urban scenes. In a review of many studies, researchers found that people more connected to nature (seeing themselves as part of nature and caring about the natural world) tended to have more positive feelings, vitality and life satisfaction compared to those who were less connected. All of this and more suggests that we can be happier and healthier if we maintain our connection to nature somehow during the pandemic. Whether we garden, have a view of nature out our window, visit nearby parks, or even just watch a nature video, we can help ourselves deal with the stresses and strains of COVID isolation by giving ourselves and our kids a dose of “Vitamin N.” Take it from me, you’ll be glad you did. • Main image: shutterstock/Halfpoint happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Forest bathing | Self-care | Better sleep Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish them with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

From expressing emotions to making sense of the world, seven artists explain why they write, rap, take photos, draw, dance and make movies. One thing they have in common is that the choice to make art isn't really a choice: it's something they were born to do. By JEREMY ADAM SMITH and JASON MARSH on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. Why do you make art? That’s the simple question Greater Good posed to seven artists. Their answers are surprising and very diverse. They mention making art for fun and adventure; building bridges between themselves and the rest of humanity; reuniting and recording fragments of thought, feeling, and memory; and saying things that they can’t express in any other way. All their answers are deeply personal. In this issue of Greater Good, we explore the possible cognitive and emotional benefits of the arts, and yet these artists evoke a more fundamental benefit: they are just doing what they feel they’re born to do. 1. Gina Gibney: Giving power to others Gina Gibney is the artistic director of the New York-based Gina Gibney Dance Company, which was founded in 1991 to serve a dual mission: to create and perform contemporary choreography that draws upon the strength and insights of women and men, and to enrich and reshape lives through programs that give voice to communities in need, especially survivors of domestic abuse and individuals living with HIV/AIDS. “I make art for a few reasons. In life, we experience so much fragmentation of thought and feeling. For me, creating art brings things back together. In my own work, that is true throughout the process. In the beginning, developing the basic raw materials for the work is deeply reflective and informative. Later, bringing those materials together into a form — distilling and shaping movement, creating a context, working toward something that feels cohesive and complete. That’s incredibly powerful for me — something that really keeps me going. © Andrzej Olejniczak/Gina Gibney “Interestingly, the body of my work is like a catalogue of the events and thoughts of my life. For me, making work is almost like keeping a journal. Giving that to someone else — as a kind of gift through live performance — is the most meaningful aspect of my work. “I make art for a few reasons. In life, we experience so much fragmentation of thought and feeling. For me, creating art brings things back together.” “Dance is a powerful art form for the very reason that it doesn’t need to explain or comment on itself. One of the most amazing performances I have ever seen in my life was of a woman — a domestic violence survivor — dancing in a tiny conference room in a domestic violence shelter for other survivors. She was not a professional dancer. She was a woman who had faced unbelievable challenges and who was living with a great deal of sadness. She created and performed an amazing solo — but to have described her performance as “sad” would have been to diminish what we experienced. “That’s the power of dance. You can feel something and empathize with it on a very deep level, and you don’t have to put words to it.” 2. Judy Dater: I like expressing emotions Judy Dater has been making photographs for more than 40 years and is considered one of America’s foremost photographers. The recipient of a Guggenheim and many other awards, her books include Imogen Cunningham: A Portrait, Women and Other Visions, Body and Soul and Cycles. “I like expressing emotions — to have others feel what it is I’m feeling when I’m photographing people. “Empathy is essential to portraiture. I’ve done landscapes, and I think they can be very poetic and emotional, but it’s different from the directness of photographing a person. I think photographing people is, for me, the best way to show somebody something about themselves — either the person I photograph or the person looking — that maybe they didn’t already know. Maybe it’s presumptuous, but that’s the desire. I feel like I’m attending to people when I’m photographing them, and I think I understand people better because I’ve been looking at them intensely for 40-some years.” A portrait by Judy Dater 3. Pete Docter: It’s fun making things Pete Docter has been involved in some of Pixar Studio’s most popular and seminal animated features, including Toy Story, A Bug’s Life, Cars, and Wall-E, but he is best known as the director of the Academy-Award-winning Monsters, Inc. Docter is currently directing Up, set for release in May of 2009. “I make art primarily because I enjoy the process. It’s fun making things. And I’m sure there is also that universal desire to connect with other people in some way, to tell them about myself or my experiences. RELATED: The Life Cube – changing the world through art “What I really look for in a project is something that resonates with life as I see it, and speaks to our experiences as humans. That probably sounds pretty highfalutin’ coming from someone who makes cartoons, but I think all the directors at Pixar feel the same way. We want to entertain people, not only in the vacuous, escapist sense (though to be sure, there’s a lot of that in our movies too), but in a way that resonates with the audience as being truthful about life — some deeper emotional experience that they recognize in their own existence. “I make art primarily because I enjoy the process. It’s fun making things. And I’m sure there is also that universal desire to connect with other people in some way.” “On the surface, our films are about toys, monsters, fish or robots; at a foundational level, they’re about very universal things: our own struggles with mortality, loss and defining who we are in the world. As filmmakers, we’re pretty much cavemen sitting around the campfire telling stories, only we use millions of dollars of technology to do it. By telling stories, we connect with each other. We talk about ourselves, our feelings, and what it is to be human. Or we just make cartoons. Either way, we try to have a good time, and we hope the audience does too.” 4. Harrell Fletcher: Anything anyone calls art is art Harrell Fletcher teaches in the art department at Portland State University. He has exhibited at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, the Berkeley Art Museum, Socrates Sculpture Park in New York, and in numerous other museums and galleries around the world. In 2002, Fletcher started Learning To Love You More, a participatory website with Miranda July, which they turned into a book, published in 2007. Fletcher is the recipient of the 2005 Alpert Award in Visual Arts. “The question of why I make art needs to be broken down a bit before I can answer. First of all, what is art? The definition of art that I have come up with, which seems to work best for me, is that anything anyone calls art is art. This comes from my belief that there is nothing intrinsic about art. We cannot do a chemical analysis to determine if something is art or not. Instead, I feel like calling something “art” is really just a subjective way of indicating value — which could be aesthetic, cultural, monetary and so on. © Harell Fletcher. An image from "The Problem of Possible Redemption 2003" “If we look at other kinds of creative activity we can see how various forms can all exist and be valid at the same time. I’ve made what I think of as art since I was a child, initially drawings, then photographs, paintings, videos, and so on. By the time I got to graduate school, I was not so interested in making more stuff, and instead started to move into another direction, which these days is sometimes called “Social Practice.” “This is sort of a confusing term since it is so new and undefined. In a broad way, I think of it as the opposite of Studio Practice — making objects in isolation, to be shown and hopefully sold in a gallery context. Most of the art world operates with this Studio Practice approach. In Social Practice, there is more of an emphasis on ideas and actions than on objects; it can take place outside of art contexts, and there is often a collaborative or participatory aspect to the work. “So, back to the question why I make art. In my case, the projects that I do allow me to meet people I wouldn’t ordinarily meet, travel to places I wouldn’t normally go to, learn about subjects that I didn’t know I would be interested in, and sometimes even help people out in small ways that make me feel good. I like to say that what I’m after is to have an interesting life and doing the work that I do as an artist helps me achieve that. 5. Kwame Dawes: An environment of empathy Kwame Dawes, Ph.D., is Distinguished Poet in Residence at the University of South Carolina. He is the author of 13 books of verse, most recently Gomer’s Song, and a novel, She’s Gone, which won the 2008 Hurston/Wright Legacy Award for Best First Novel. “I write in what is probably a vain effort to somehow control the world in which I live, recreating it in a manner that satisfies my sense of what the world should look like and be like. I’m trying to capture in language the things that I see and feel, as a way of recording their beauty and power and terror, so that I can return to those things and relive them. In that way, I try to have some sense of control in a chaotic world. © Rachel Eliza Griffiths “I want to somehow communicate my sense of the world — that way of understanding, engaging, experiencing the world — to somebody else. I want them to be transported into the world that I have created with language. “And so the ultimate aim of my writing is to create an environment of empathy, something that would allow the miracle of empathy to take place, where human beings can seem to rise out of themselves and extend themselves into others and live within others. That has a tremendous power for the human being. And I know this because that is what other people’s writing does to me when I read it.” 6. James Sturm: The reasons are unimportant James Sturm is a cartoonist and co-founder of the Center for Cartoon Studies in White River Junction, Vermont. He is the author of the best-selling and award-winning graphic novel The Golem’s Mighty Swing, chosen as the Best Graphic Novel of 2000 by Time magazine. In 2007, his trilogy of historical graphic novels was collected in a volume entitled James Sturm’s America: God, Gold, and Golems. “I like the question “Why do you make art?” because it assumes what I do is art. A flattering assumption. The question also takes me back to my freshman year of college, where such questions like “What is nature?” and “Is reality a wave or a circle?” were earnestly debated (usually late at night and after smoking too much weed). “Twenty-five years later I’d like to think I am a little more clear-headed regarding this question. Perhaps the only insight I’ve gained is the knowledge that I have no idea and, secondly, the reasons are unimportant. Depending on my mood, on any given day, I could attribute making art to a high-minded impulse to connect with others or to understand the world or a narcissistic coping mechanism or a desire to be famous or therapy or as my religious discipline or to provide a sense of control or a desire to surrender control, etc., etc., etc. “Whatever the reason, an inner compulsion exists and I continue to honour this internal imperative. If I didn’t, I would feel really horrible. I would be a broken man. So, whether attempting to make art is noble or selfish, the fact remains that I will do it nevertheless. Anything past this statement is speculation. I would be afraid that by proclaiming why I make art would be generating my own propaganda.” 7. KRS-One: Hip-hop is beyond time, beyond space Lawrence Krisna Parker, better known by his stage name KRS-One, is widely considered by critics and other MCs to be one of hip-hop’s most influential figures. At the 2008 Black Entertainment Television Awards, KRS-One was the recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award for his rapping and activism. “I was born this way, born to make art, to make hip-hop. And I think I’m just one of the people who had the courage to stay with my born identity. Hip-hop keeps me true to myself, keeps me, human. “Hip-hop is the opposite of technology. Hip-hop is what the human body does: Breaking, DJing, graffiti writing. The human body breakdances, you can’t take that away. DJing is not technology; it’s human intelligence over technology: cutting, mixing, scratching. It’s physical. The manipulation of technology is what humans do, that’s art. “I was born this way, born to make art, to make hip-hop. And I think I’m just one of the people who had the courage to stay with my born identity.” “Or take graffiti writing. Put a writing utensil in any kid’s hand at age two or three. They will not write on a paper like they’ll later be socialized to do, they will write on the walls. They’re just playing. That’s human. Graffiti reminds you of your humanity when you scrawl your self-expression on the wall. Hip-hop helps us to see the things in the world in new ways. “That’s why hip hop has kept me young. It doesn’t allow you to grow up too fast. Hip hop is beyond time, beyond space. That’s why I make hip-hop.” ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Film | Poetry | Crafts | Literature Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish them with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu