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Imagine a world with fairly distributed wealth and a happy, enriched workforce. These are two of the aims of Buddhist economics. Ed Gould delves into the background of this economic model and asks whether it can ever become a reality. Economic life may be something that seems out of our control. Indeed, the forces of macroeconomics can appear akin to a tsunami that individuals can do little about. And yet, even an enormous wave is made up of single drops of water. Individuals can decide how they spend, save and deal with the world from a financial point of view. Essentially, Buddhist economics looks at finances from a spiritual and ethical angle. Economics is studied from the standpoint of human psychology and how natural emotive reactions can direct a range of economic activities. So, what exactly is Buddhist economics? One Sri Lankan economist has described a Buddhist economic system as something that “has its foundations in the development of a co-operative and harmonious effort”. Writing in 1976, Neville Karunatilake said that the ideal place to operate in this way was within a “group living” setting. Perhaps building on the ashram idea of communal living espoused by Gandhi, Tolstoy and others, this approach would lead to a diminished level of “selfishness and acquisitive pursuits” which might have been seen in the days the Buddhist king Ashoka's rule. Referring back to a pre-industrial time, many classically trained economists might easily miss the point of what Buddhist economics can mean for the 21st-century world. However, as we shall see, Buddhist ideas about economics have developed throughout the world over the last few decades. This is partly because people are increasingly aware of the fragility of the global financial system and because of the destructive nature of many industrial processes which harm the planet. In an attempt to address these issues, some economists have tried to look at the principles behind Buddhist ethical teachings and apply them to areas like work, productivity, commerce and even concepts such as ownership. After all, it was the ethical nature of Buddhism that led Ashoka to invest in public works programmes such as those which built hospitals, hostels and parks. “Buddhist ideas about economics have developed over the last few decades partly because people are increasingly aware of the destructive nature of many industrial processes which harm the planet.” Building interest in the ethical dimension of Buddhist economics, the first international conference of its type was held in the city of Budapest in 2007. Further such conventions, which look into all aspects of Buddhist economic thought, from increasing happiness to facing up to the economic challenges of Western economies, have since taken place. How did Buddhist economics get to this level of acceptance among modern academics? Not child's play: Buddhist economics isn't easy to implement The development of Buddhist economics According to the Buddhist writer, P A Payutto, the traditional study of economics has avoided vital questions about human morality and ethical considerations. However, as ecological concerns have become more critical in the eyes of many people around the globe, so ever-increasing growth – something that most capitalist economies rely upon – has become seen as negative. Therefore, alternatives economic views have become increasingly mainstream. Both right and left wing economic views have, according to the zero-growth economic models espoused by certain green politicians, got little to offer regarding preserving the world's resources. Buddhist economics fits into that tradition and has been gaining more significant attention since Payutto started publishing in the 1990s. RELATED: Spending money – can you buy yourself happiness? The idea of Buddhist economics was first espoused in the 20th century by E F Schumacher, a German statistician, who came up with his ideas while travelling through southeast Asia. Schumacher ended up being an economic advisor to Prime Minister U Nu of what was then Burma. His idea was to reject the economic theories of both Karl Marx and Adam Smith, both of whom focussed on units of labour as being the primary economic drivers in any economic model. Instead, Schumacher espoused a view of economics from a Buddhist point of view. Essentially, Schumacher opted to redefine work from something that could be sold, for example to employers, or exploited, through slavery or unpaid labour, as well as choosing to view it as something that did not necessarily need to be conducted most efficiently. In other words, his view of work was one that was there to enrich the basic happiness of the person doing it from a spiritual standpoint, not from an economic one. When work works: we should be enriched by our labour efforts Let's look at what Schumacher means by taking an example. In a factory, the most efficient way of making an item for sale into the wider economy might be to divide the labour up so that each worker does a repetitive task over and over. This simplifies their job function, makes the production method more predictable and lowers costs, especially if production is speeded up significantly. The outcome might be that the factory owner makes more money with such a system. Henry Ford, the American car maker, is often cited as a pioneer of these sorts of workplace practices which were developed for economic reasons. Schumacher turns that idea on its head. He put forward the idea that work should not be measured by economic output. “In other words, Schaumacher's view of work was one that was there to enrich the basic happiness of the person doing it from a spiritual standpoint, not from an economic one.” Indeed, according to his Buddhist principle, work is there to offer a worker the chance to utilise and develop all of his faculties, not just one or two key skills. Also, this will enable a worker to overcome egocentric ideas, mainly when work is conducted with other people in a common task, for example, building a house together. Crucially, Schumacher stated that work should “bring forth the goods and services needed for a becoming existence”. In other words, work ought to create enough economic output to sustain life but no more. Working just to accumulate more and more wealth is pointless from a spiritual perspective. Being rich is, in other words, counterproductive. Economic problems and Buddhist solutions Since the global financial crisis, many people have woken up to the idea that the economic system that has sustained the West, in particular, may not be the be-all-and-end-all. If the system could crash and the money supply seize up once, then could it do so again? In addition, the rise of China as a global economic force – a country that does not run on liberal economic models – has caused some people to think that the way things have been done does not mean that is the way they must continue. The world becomes more global in its inter-connectedness, so goods move more rapidly and resources are used up. Some see the emergence of nationalism in recent years as a direct result of global economic trends over which local communities have little control. Global economic challenges like these can be met by Buddhist teachings. Not only do they convey the idea that man is interdependent on his fellow man, but that overproduction for the sake of economic growth is undesirable. “Since the global financial crisis, many people have woken up to the idea that the economic system that has sustained the West, in particular, may not be the be-all-and-end-all.” According to Clair Brown, an economics professor at UC Berkeley and the director of the Center for Work, Technology and Society, students she teaches are focussed on the tremendous economic inequalities that globalization has produced. In a world where the richest one per cent of the population own half of all the wealth, it's clear that inequality – and abject poverty – is rife. Rise above? Buddhist economics could challenge poverty Brown teaches that happiness, founded on less inequality, and the simple act of helping each other with compassion is the answer to these undeniable economic challenges. She puts forward the idea that economists must let go of the principle that people are fundamentally selfish and that they will always choose the best economic outcome for themselves. By studying cities in the so-called Rust Belt of America, she points out that economists must work in a way that is “compatible with what neuroscientists are finding out about people’s well-being and the way minds work.” How can mankind and our planet benefit? The economic challenges of poverty, inequality, globalization and ecology can all be met by adopting a Buddhist approach to economics, so its proponents claim. On ecology, for example, Professor Brown cites the withdrawal by the US from the Paris Accords as something that does not ascribe to Buddhist teachings of being mindful of others. RELATED: Six science-backed benefits of living a simple life Man can benefit from adopting Buddhist economics because of self-interest, so inherent in Western economic models, is illusory. Instead of bartering for the best deal, the approach should be to adopt an economic model of mutual reciprocity. Why? Because we feel negative about ourselves and others in the former model and a higher degree of happiness and inner peace with the latter. Imagine what could be achieved by humans if everyone just got on better with one another because they felt less pressured to make a few pounds? From a global point of view, this would bring about a deceleration in the exploitation of the Earth's valuable resources, helping to make economic life sustainable not just for today but for future generations. ● Main image: Colourbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Work life balance | Biology | Community living Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Taking 10 minutes to meditate in the morning can set you up for a calm, compassionate and productive day ahead. Meditation practitioner Ann Vrlak explains why and discusses some morning meditations you can try out. Imagine what you could accomplish if you started your day alert, content and creative. On the other hand, imagine going out the door feeling overwhelmed, ungrounded and unhappy. If you find yourself stressed and rushed even before you get out of bed, morning meditation may be the perfect medicine for you. You can’t control what your day will bring, but you can ground your being and body in calm, clarity and compassion with morning meditation. And you don’t need an hour or even 30 minutes to do it. Setting aside as little as ten minutes, you can bring these qualities with you into your day. The importance of morning meditation In fact, many people specifically choose mornings for their meditation practice. Why? Because mornings are special. • JOIN US! Sign up to learn more about meditation and mindfulness • Firstly, you’re in a unique state when you first wake up. Your body, mind and soul are relaxed and receptive. Whatever you do first thing in the morning has a greater impact than at others time of day. Which do you think will lead you into a happier day? Listening to stressful world news and scrolling through your newsfeed or taking time to immerse yourself in self-care, quiet and acceptance? Also, many of us seem to wake up immediately into our to-do lists and our worries. That’s stressful. A short morning meditation will create a space for you to recognize and rest in your 'being' rather than in 'doing.' You will connect with being aware, being present; with whatever is here now for you. “You can’t control what your day will bring, but you can ground your being and body in calm, clarity and compassion with morning meditation.” Finally, on the practical side of things, mornings are often quieter. It can be a wonderful time to sit and rest in the silence inside you, free from distractions. The benefits of morning meditation A morning meditation routine will bring you all the usual benefits of meditation: Increasing self-awareness and self-compassion Strengthening empathy Decreasing anxiety and depression Rediscovering the spiritual dimension in your life Boosting well-being and happiness Improving concentration and attention Expanding creativity and problem-solving Increasing equanimity and fair-mindedness Quiet quality: peaceful mornings are great for meditation Furthermore, a meditation routine in the morning will give you these added, special benefits: Starting the day with compassion People don’t meditate to become good meditators, they meditate to become more self-aware, compassionate and happy, and to share these gifts with the people they care about most. When you start your day with these qualities, you’ll automatically bring them into your conversations with friends and family, your responses to things not going your way, your tasks at work and how you 'talk' to yourself. Starting the day calm and rejuvenated Meditation is like a massage for your nervous system. The calming and rejuvenating effects of meditation are now well proven. You can begin your day relaxed and content, focused and ready to meet whatever comes your way. Instead of your usual morning stresses, you can start your day with a positive, empowering experience. Tips for morning meditation Sounds good, right? If you’d like to give morning meditation a try, here are some tips to get started. Where and when With a bit of thought, you can easily find 10 minutes in your morning, wither by skipping your morning social media surfing habit or setting your alarm that little bit earlier. Depending on the type of meditation you choose, you can do your morning meditation routine almost anywhere: In bed Sitting in a quiet space in your home. On the train or bus on your morning commute .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } A sample 10 minute meditation YouTube/Goop Types of meditation There are many different types of meditation you can choose from to start with first thing to begin your day. There are practices that use your breath, concentration, body awareness, thought and emotions, as well as exploring your deepest sense of self. In fact, any practice that appeals to you can become your morning meditation. Here are a few of the most popular morning meditations. 1) Mindfulness meditation The core practice of meditation, mindfulness, can be a wonderful way to start your day. Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment, as fully as you can, with kindness and curiosity. With mindfulness, you start your day with an openness and acceptance about whatever you’re experiencing: worry, happiness, planning or physical discomfort. Everything becomes part of a practice of simply being with yourself, in an accepting and caring way. 2) Body scan/embodiment meditations Body scan practices are a lovely way to rise up through sleep to wakefulness. You can, of course, do a body scan while you’re still in bed – you just need a bit of extra attention not to fall back to sleep! RELATED: Does meditation really work? Here's what science says Body scan practices guide you through sensing each part of your body in a sequence, from your fingertips, to your stomach, to your toes. Your body is more open in the morning, so this practice can be a great way to let your awareness soak into all parts of your body to feel energized and deeply present, while your mind takes a break. Watch our body scan meditation script video below to get started or click through to read more about this powerful and popular technique. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } 3) Breath meditations Breathwork is a powerful choice for meditations in the morning. And there are a whole range of breath meditations, from those that create relaxation – such as conscious breathing – to those that increase mental focus and energy. So, you can choose one that best fits your needs in the morning: Equalized breath: sample morning meditation I’d like to show you how to do a simple breathing practice you can do at home or on your morning commute. The Equalized Breath will relax your nervous system and give you a stable 'home base' to come back to when your mind wanders. Don’t worry, everyone gets distracted. It’s not ‘wrong,’ it’s a key part of meditation practice. Find a comfortable sitting position and, if you can, let your eyes gently close. Take a minute to allow your body to really relax and take a few deep breaths. For this practice, adjust your breath so all four parts are of equal length. You count to four during your in breath, hold your breath to a count of four, exhale for four, and hold your breath out to a count of four. Then hold for four again. It’s really important not to strain. If four seconds feels too long, reduce it to three. And, if you can comfortably do longer, try for six seconds. The important things are: not to strain and to keep all four parts equal in length. And, when a thought, feeling or sensation distracts you, that’s OK. Just start again, breathing and counting, focusing on your breath. Do your best to be non-judgmental with yourself if your mind wanders off. Remember: mindfulness is watching ‘with kindness and curiosity.’ Kindness encourages you to open. Judgement closes you down. Morning meditations sets you up for the day shutterstock/Ekaterina Iatcenko Morning meditation may be the most powerful place for you to start exploring meditation. And, with ten (or more!) minutes of meditation during the AM, you will rest in a sense of being and presence, be kind and more accepting with yourself, and connect with silence and strength. Find a practice that appeals to you and try it for a week. Start your day with more calm, clarity and compassion and see how it makes you – and those around you – feel. ● Main image: shutterstock/Pro-stock studio Liked this? Then check out 5 strategies to help you develop a regular meditation practice. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude meditation | 6 phase meditation Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

There have been plenty of feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during July. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten from the past month to uplift and inspire. July was a great month for good news stories. There were, of course, plenty of negative things to pay attention to in the news but that doesn't mean that the month was devoid of positivity and happiness. So, what were some of the happiest news items from the past month? Here's our Top 10 round-up... 1. Hydrogen used to power the Olympic Games The current Tokyo Olympics may have been delayed for 12 months but, according to Euronews, it will be one of the greenest games ever. That's because hydrogen is being used to power the event, a green technology that Japanese engineers have been pioneering. Although not all of the power consumed by hosting the games is derived from hydrogen, the idea is to showcase Japanese technology to the world. It's hoped that hydrogen, as a sustainable alternative to fossil fuels, could help the aviation and shipping industries to become carbon-free in the future. 2. Huge land donation augments the New Mexico wilderness A report in the Associated Press detailed how a donation of land will vastly augment the amount of wilderness that can be preserved in the US state of New Mexico. The Sabinoso Wilderness Area in the north of the state will become about 50 per cent larger than it previously was thanks to the generous donation. The area of nature, which covers part of the ancestral homelands of the Jicarilla Apache people will now become open to the public, since the donated land makes it much more accessible to locals. Elk, mountain lions, turkeys and bears all live in the area and will now enjoy a more protected habitat. 3. Wasps inspire new surgical technique The BBC reported that a team in the Netherlands has been studying wasps to help them come up with a new way of performing keyhole surgery. It seems that the success certain wasp species have with laying their eggs as parasites is ideal for being able to get inside the human body when scaled up. Researchers at the University of Delft have developed a new keyhole surgery method with a novel piece of apparatus that lowers friction on the patient's body. The instrument was only possible because of the observations the team made on the wasps as they laid their eggs. Wasps have inspired a new surgical technique 4. New commercial battery could lead to a green future An American firm, Form Energy Inc, announced in July that it has developed a new form of commercial battery that can store renewable energy until it's needed. Such technology already exists but this usually comes in the form of lithium-ion which has its own environmental cost. However, Form Energy Inc's approach is for a multi-day battery that uses iron-air technology. Capable of being charged and discharged multiple times a day, the company thinks its new batteries are scalable and can be used to help grids store excessive energy until such times when it will be called for. A report in Solar Builder magazine said the method could work without additional costs or sacrificing energy efficiency. 5. Madrid takes action on climate change The authorities in Madrid have decided to plant a forest of trees to help mitigate the effects of climate change on the city. According to Nature World News, the Spanish capital can become unbearably hot in summer which is why a ring of trees will be planted around the city. It is hoped that Madrid will stop trapping heat so much because of the canopy of protection the trees will afford. They will also help to make air quality in the city better as well as providing shade and a means of storing some of the carbon the city creates. RELATED: Forest bathing – 6 science-backed benefits 6. Mussels help to solve the problem of microplastics Plastic waste ending up in the ocean – and the food chain – is a big problem. In fact, smaller particles of plastic are even harder to get out of the world's seas than larger items. However, according to Food Navigator, mussels are able to process microplastics and, what's more, there appears to be no knock-on effect from them so doing. In test conditions, it was found that the sea molluscs could filter microplastics just like they do their main food, plankton. Furthermore, blue mussels effectively trap plastic in their waste which can then be collected much more easily by humans. Mussels could help clear up microplastics shutterstock/Kuttelvaservoa Stuchlova 7. Paralysed man's brainwaves interpreted by a computer It may sound like science fiction, but the brainwaves of people can now be read and interpreted by technology. According to a report in the Guardian, a paralysed man who cannot speak was able to communicate thanks to a computer understanding his brainwaves and converting them into sentences. A neurosurgeon at the University of California, Edward Chang, said that it was exciting to think people are now at the beginning of a new chapter in communication. It's hoped the technique will allow many people who cannot talk or write the chance to express themselves more freely with words. 8. Mindfulness is of benefit to families with children who have ADHD Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is something that many families have to live with and it can be hard to treat in youngsters. However, a report in WebMD stated that research undertaken at Duke University in North Carolina showed that mindfulness training can help. Interestingly, according to the psychologists involved, mindfulness is not merely of benefit to the child who happens to have been diagnosed with the condition but to his or her family, as well. According to the researchers, mindfulness training helps both the child and the parents to self-regulate their responses to stressful situations. RELATED: Academy – free MBSR course 9. Indians plant millions of saplings A programme in India to plant millions of trees to help fight climate change and prevent desertification may not be unique but its scale is unprecedented. In July, 250 million saplings were planted in a single day, the second time such an astonishing figure has been reached in a single, 24-hour period. What's more encouraging, according to a report in the Independent, is that the survival rate for the saplings is approaching 80 per cent meaning that many of the newly planted trees are likely to make it to maturity, thereby storing lots of carbon that would otherwise be in the atmosphere. 10. Magic mushrooms can help with neural health According to numerous media outlets, including the Metro, a scientific study into so-called magic mushrooms suggests that new neural networks can be forged more easily by those who consume them. The psychoactive fungi help people with neural damage caused by depression to recover, the study suggests. The research was conducted at Yale University and the scientists involved think that the effects are not just profound but will prove to be long-lasting. • Main image: shutterstock/Luc Pouliot happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Positive news | Biotechnology | Nature | Biology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Since the pandemic struck, angling has been reeling in more fans than ever. Dee Marques takes a look at how the mental and physical health benefits of fishing are catching on fast. The past year and a half has brought multiple changes to our lives. For many of us, this period has been a time for reflection, and some have decided to focus on self-care and pay better attention to their health and well-being. Indeed, during the past 18 months, you may have tried different strategies to stay in optimal physical and mental health. Fortunately, there’s always something new to try. And one leisure activity that's gained a whole host of new fans during the COVID crisis is fishing. In fact, according to the Guardian, the number of annual rod licence applications in England and Wales surged by more than 120,000 in 2020 – that's up a huge 15 per cent on the previous year, with a large increase in the number of women and families heading to the waterside. You may have never thought about trying it, but what about giving fishing a go? As August is National Fishing Month, let's discuss this popular leisure activity and discuss the health benefits of fishing – you may be surprised by some of them! Discovering the health benefits of fishing The health benefits of fishing are many and are both physical and mental. Indeed, there are plenty of reasons why spending some time by a lake or the sea trying to fish can nourish us. They include: 1. Life skills and identity support A UK study looked at the impact of recreational fishing in teenagers who took part in a week-long fishing camp. The findings suggest that fishing put to the test important skills, like patience and self-discipline. Outdoor therapies are used to increased resilience, since these activities support identity, self esteem and create a feeling of worthiness. For example, fishing gives us the ability to provide our own food. This can lead to a confidence boost because we realise we can satisfy some of our basic needs without depending on others. Among the psychological health benefits of fishing is confidence and the feeling of mastery; the ability to make progress and develop new skills, which is a critical factor in the development of self-esteem. 2. Reconnection with nature Like other outdoor leisure activities, fishing can help us reconnect with nature and carve a pathway to growth, restore balance, and learn about our inner self. According to nature-deficit theory, the changes in work arrangements and lifestyle mean we’re spending a significant amount of time indoors. Similarly, the biophilia hypothesis claims humans have a natural affinity for outdoor environments, and switching the balance around can address physical and emotional imbalances. 3. Positive mood Mood regulation and/or improvement is one of the key health benefits of fishing. People who enjoy fishing regularly often say they do it because it helps them forget worries, relieve tension and relax. Fishing can be a great family bonding experience This activity allows us to put distance between ourselves, the real world, and the stresses of everyday life. This momentary break leaves you feeling energised to go back to the daily routine, and is a mood booster to help you face life with renewed energy. And being an outdoor activity, you may also get to benefit from the mood-lifting effect of sunshine and vitamin D. Its health benefits include better resistance to disease, a reduced risk of developing bone related conditions and heart disease, mood stabilization and improvement of depressive symptoms. 4. Social connectedness After months of isolation, many of us feel the urge to be around others and satisfy the basic human need of connectedness. Indeed, the feeling of belonging is an important psychological prerequisite according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. This is one of the main health benefits of fishing, since the need for social connectedness has been with us for our entire evolutionary history – and has contributed to our survival as a species. “Mood improvement is one of the key health benefits of fishing. People who enjoy fishing do it because it helps them forget worries, relieve tension and relax.” In fact, an active social life is linked to a strong immune system, better cognitive performance and fewer symptoms of depression. A day out fishing can provide an opportunity to spend quality time with friends or family, and can also be a socialisation strategy for introverts or those who don’t like crowds. 5. A space for reflection and healing Although many fishers and anglers enjoy the activity as part of small groups, conversely, fishing can also meet the need for solitude. Sometimes we have a strong need to be alone and process our feelings, and that’s one of the potential health benefits of fishing: it offers the right environment for that kind on inward reflection. Fishing requires focus, and for better or for worse, humans can’t really focus intently on more than one thing at a time. So, while you concentrate on fishing, you allow your brain to put other worries in the back seat. RELATED: The power of silence There can also be a healing element to fishing, as shown by a programme developed in the US to help disabled veterans and those suffering from PTSD. Veterans were taken fishing for the first time, and they reported that the activity helped them manage their emotions and find peace and passion for life. 6. Helps you stay active Sure, you can’t compare a high-intensity gym workout to a morning of fishing. But that doesn’t mean that fishing is a wholly sedentary activity. On the contrary, it can be a great low-intensity total body workout. Think about this: Getting to some fishing spots usually involves walking, carrying your gear, climbing over rough terrain or scrambling over rocks and boulders. Fishing doesn't mean just sitting by the shore doing nothing. You may need to wade into a river, pond or lake, and keep your arms moving by casting and reeling. Climbing over rocks or standing in moving water work the core and leg muscles, as well as testing your balance. So, fishing is perfect if you want to enjoy the physical benefits of staying active but don’t want an exhausting workout. The mental health benefits of fishing are many shutterstock/Andrey Yurlov 7. Stimulates creativity Depending on who you ask, fishing is an art or a science. Whatever the case, it’s never an exact art or an exact science. You’ll have great days and not-so-great fishing days, which will likely prompt you to get creative and think of possible solutions. “You can’t compare a high-intensity gym workout to a morning of fishing, but the activity can be a great low-intensity total body workout.” Maybe you’ll need to change bait, or experiment with different weather conditions or test new spots. Your equipment may break, so you’ll need to improvise and think outside of the box to see if you can fix it on the spot. It’s all a great way of developing creative problem-solving skills. The health benefits of fishing are more than just physical. 8. Improved concentration The great thing about fishing is that you can let your mind wander or you can focus hard on it. If you choose to focus, fishing can help improve concentration skills, which have been so vastly disrupted by the digital world. If you’ve been considering a digital detox, you can start with short detox sessions when you go fishing. 9. Chance to practise mindfulness Fishing can be a great alternative if you struggle with more formal or strict forms of meditation. Although it’s considered a sport, it’s also a hobby and there’s no need to stress about its competitive element. In fact, you don’t even have to fish anything. It can be about being there, enjoying the moment, taking in the fresh air, being in a natural environment and watching the water flow. Indeed, fishing can be an ideal setting to start a mindfulness practice, if you haven’t already done so. And why not consider listening to one of these mindfulness podcasts while you’re out by the water for that added sense of calm? • Main image: shutterstoch/AT Production happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Travelling | Forest bathing | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

To live without regret is to own up to our mistakes and learn from them. However, we often forget this and end up beating ourselves up. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains six ways you move on in life to ensure you are living without regret... Life is filled with mistakes. There is no arguing it. Every decision, big or small, bears the risk of misjudging. We pick the wrong schools and get into careers that are not right for us. We spend too much energy on people who do not deserve it — and too little on those who do. Sometimes, we waste our time as if we were going to live for ever. In my personal experience, the older you get, the more irreversible mistakes get. I always loved my father like no other person. But, we had a very complex and conflicting bond. Every step of the way, the relationship was healable – until it was not. You see, he suddenly passed away in his sleep. On that morning, the opportunity (I never took) to fix the past errors was gone for ever. We accumulate faults, and they become more and more severe. Living without regret might, then, sound like too much of a stretch. Yet, it can be done. You do not have to succumb to rumination and guilt. This article will speak about letting go of regret without denial or repression. The key to living without regret is in the true wisdom of awareness, acceptance and learning. Why living with regret is bad My biggest regrets — and I’ve had a few — have stayed with me for a long time. They ran my life. All my actions and emotions were, quite often, subdued to my guilt and anguish. I was miserable, furious, bitter, desperate, and struggled to find meaning. My physical health deteriorated considerably, too. Does it sound familiar? When your past mistakes overtake control over your life, you gradually become unable to live in the present. You get stuck in that horrible moment in which you did something wrong — without the possibility to undo it. It is in no way a good place to be in. To live without regret is to own up to our errors and learn from them Indeed, research has shown that those who are highly critical of themselves and are filled with remorse experience significant negativity, stress and pessimism. Suppose you do not put effort into learning to live without regrets tainting your life. In that case, you may be heading towards a range of mental and physical health problems. In the light of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, a study found that self-blame regret is associated with high levels of stress and depression. Another study revealed that regret supports excessive, addictive use of social networking sites. Furthermore, regret about a treatment decision can hinder full recovery, as research on patients with cancer demonstrated. Physical health is also affected by intense and prolonged regret. An elaborate study revealed that intense experiences of regret are associated with a health-relevant biological process, acute physical problems and sleep disturbances. Six ways to live without regret and move forward Living without regret can be a challenge, especially for those who are used to beating themselves up. If you are your harshest critic, guilt can easily overwhelm your life. Yet, the only way for you to grow and be a productive and creative being is to reshape the regret into something good. Here are six ways to do just that. 1. Mend the mistakes The good news is — many of our errors can be mended. To some extent and in some way, at least. For example, you cannot unsay ghastly things you said when you were angry at your partner, friend or family member. What you can do is – apart from apologizing effectively, of course – use the incident to deepen the relationship. Talk about it calmly afterwards. Express your emotions, beliefs, insecurities, painful spots. Now think about the causes of your regrets. Is there a way to make it better? Could you take it from where you are now and improve things a bit somehow? Or, could you maybe use the experience to create something good, valuable? What’s done is done. But can you put those upsetting experiences to good use in some way? 2. Accept and self-accept Life does not always feel comfortable. That is the uneasy truth. However, it is the truth. Accept that you will always be thrown challenges. You will sometimes be ill-treated. You will not always know what to do in a situation. It is natural, then, to make quite a few mistakes in response to hardships. Now, accept yourself as you are, too. Self-acceptance is the first step towards living without regret. It means being aware of both your strengths and your weaknesses. Being objective about who you are. “To live without regret is to own up to our errors and learn from them. It means accepting the reality of human nature.” It will help you not to beat yourself up but grow from your experiences. This is why unconditional self-acceptance is one of the elements of the six-factor model of psychological well-being. 3. Reframe and learn Regret leaves us with a sense of powerlessness, naturally. We are feeling repentant over something we cannot take back or change. However, there is a way out of it. An enormously powerful way to start living without regret is to change the way you see things. Reframing is a potent psychological tool. In case of futile rumination and remorse, it can turn things around for you. RELATED: These 4 NLP techniques will change how you think How to do it? Start thinking about life as a series of experiments and experiences that help us learn. Setbacks and disappointments can be seen as the end of the world. They can, however, also be thought of as learning opportunities. So, the more experiments (and errors, too) you make, the more understanding you acquire. So, you did something wrong. Imagine you were an experimenter. Instead of committing to self-torture, ask yourself: What did you learn from it? How can you act differently in the future to avoid getting yourself into the same situation? What insight did you gain? Self-acceptance is a step towards life without regret shutterstock/Andrei Mayatnik 4. Focus on your strong points When we are filled with remorse, we tend to reproach ourselves and forget that we have many strengths. We may start thinking about ourselves as the worst people out there. Recognizing your strong points is crucial to start living without regret. In a way, you need to justify and allow yourself to move on from regret. Stop punishing yourself, in other words. To do so, you might feel the need to convince yourself that you are deserving of self-forgiveness (I'll get to that point shortly). So, ask yourself: What good deeds did I do in the past? How did I help someone? What do people like about me? What did I succeed in? What is my strongest suit? What hardships have I overcome? 5. Suppress In psychoanalysis, repression is a defence mechanism that takes away the painful experiences and pushes them deep into the unconscious mind. Yet, from there, the repressed content tends to wreak havoc in our lives. Repression, therefore, is not a healthy defence from whatever is torturing us. On the other hand, suppression is a more mature form of defence from regret, among other uncomfortable experiences and feelings. The American Psychological Association defines it as: “a conscious effort to put disturbing thoughts and experiences out of mind, or to control and inhibit the expression of unacceptable impulses and feelings.” Practically, it means consciously deciding that you are moving on or away from things you cannot change. In some cases, when things cannot be reversed or errors repaired, suppression is the healthy thing to do. “An enormously powerful way to start living without regret is to change the way you see things. Reframing is a potent psychological tool.” For example, you were in an abusive relationship. You may ruminate about it and keep reliving the trauma. Or, you can realise that this is not productive. You can then decide to put it out of your mind, as you are not in danger anymore. You will not change what happened. There is no point in being hung up on the fact that you chose an utterly wrong partner. In that way, you decide to live without regret and be free. 6. Forgive yourself The highest expectations we usually have are the ones we put in front of ourselves. Living without regrets is nearly impossible from that perspective. All of us will fall short of self-imposed high standards at some point. Holding onto resentment and being unforgiving, whether to others or ourselves, increases our stress levels and takes a toll on our well-being. To live without regret and avoid physical and mental health issues that may develop, you need to learn to forgive yourself. Be self-compassionate and accept that you are imperfect. Everyone is. According to Stanford University’s summary of recent findings in the field, self-forgiveness leads to: Wisdom Increased ability to focus, success and higher productivity Better emotional health More quality relationships Sense of happiness and gratitude Takeaway: living without regret Living without regret does not mean being selfish or blind to your faults. You are not saying that what was wrong was right. To live without regret is to own up to our errors and learn from them. It means accepting the reality of human nature. We err. And those mistakes, same as good choices we make, decide the direction of our lives. My mistakes have changed me. The big ones, in the end, took something away. I probably will never be the same cheerful me with an endless zest. It was, in my case, a privilege that came with youthful ignorance on the seriousness of life. However, by overcoming the rumination and fruitless regret, I also gained something. I became a little bit wiser, humbler and grateful. Consideration, respect, kindness, sympathy, benevolence and thoughtfulness are rewards for accepting past mistakes and deciding to become a better human because of them. So, live without regret in order to grow until your last breath. • Main image: shutterstock/mimagephotography happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy classes Coaching | Letting go | Authenticity Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Science suggests that mind-wandering freely to more pleasant and playful thoughts may improve our mood and foster creativity. By Jill Suttie on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. I’m a big believer in daydreaming now and then — especially when I’m out hiking. There’s something about being in nature that helps me let go of daily cares and allows my mind to wander where it will, which feels great and often jumpstarts my creativity as a writer and musician. 
I admit, though, I’ve been troubled by research showing how mind-wandering could make me less productive or depressed — the last thing I need! But it turns out this gap between personal experience and science may best be explained by how researchers have lumped together different kinds of mind-wandering. Not all research has differentiated between depressive rumination (like replaying an ongoing disagreement with our spouse in our minds) and pleasant daydreaming (letting our minds wander freely). RELATED: How to stop ruminating with these 3 tcehniques Now, some newer science is painting a more nuanced picture of what happens to us when we let our minds wander. Though the research is young and growing, it suggests that daydreaming may actually make us happier and more creative — if we do it the right way. Daydreaming may be good for creativity Anecdotally, mind-wandering has been associated with creativity for centuries. But this link to creativity may depend on the type of mind-wandering you do, as a new study by the University of Calgary’s Julia Kam and her colleagues suggests. In this study, researchers used electroencephalogram technology to see what happens in our brains when we are engaged in different types of mind-wandering. To do that, they had people perform a mundane, repetitive task and interrupted them occasionally to see what they were thinking about, while continuously monitoring their brain activity. Some participants reported thoughts that Kam calls “constrained,” involving things like ruminating over a fight with a spouse or thinking about how to manage a work problem. While these thoughts were not related to the task at hand, they were still somewhat focused. Others reported thoughts that were “freely moving” — meaning, they skipped from thing to thing — perhaps daydreaming about a future vacation in Italy, then wondering if they needed a new bathing suit, then fantasizing about an old flame. Studies suggest daydreaming could make us happier shutterstock/HBRH When Kam and her colleagues matched people’s thoughts to their concurrent brain activity, they found signature patterns for different types of mind-wandering. In particular, freely moving thoughts were associated with increased alpha waves in the brain’s frontal cortex — a remarkable and novel finding, says Kam. “What’s really striking about finding this neural marker is that it’s been implicated during studies of creativity,” she says. “When you introduce alpha oscillation in the frontal cortex, people perform better on creative tasks.” This kind of brain activity maps well on to one particular aspect of creativity — divergent thinking or thinking “outside the box,” she says. When you’re generating ideas, you want to be able to go in many directions and not be constrained, which freely moving thought allows. Mind-wandering has also been shown to enhance convergent thinking: what happens after you’ve brainstormed ideas and have to pick the best of the bunch, she adds. So, it’s likely that mind-wandering serves a creative purpose. “If a problem has built up in your mind and you need to find a solution, letting it go into the background for a bit probably helps,” she says. “Mind-wandering facilitates the kind of solution that just comes to you, as in a lightbulb moment.” “The research is young and growing, but it suggests that daydreaming may actually make us happier and more creative — if we do it the right way.” This mirrors results from a 2015 study conducted by Claire Zedelius, formerly of the University of California, Santa Barbara. She looked at how mind-wandering affected people’s performance on a creativity test where they have to come up with a novel word (e.g., “food”) that fits with three seemingly unrelated words (e.g., “fish, fast, and spicy”). She found that people who mind-wandered performed better on this task, the answer coming to them in a flash rather than through methodically testing different solutions. “People don't even know how they got to the solution — it was just suddenly there,” she says. “Mind-wandering helps with ‘aha’ types of problem-solving.” In a more recent study, Zedelius looked at the contents of people’s thoughts to see how that related to everyday creativity (outside of a lab setting). Participants, including some creative writers, were prompted via cell phones throughout the day to report on the nature of their thoughts and, at the end of the day, how creative they had been. Findings showed that people’s minds often wandered to fairly mundane things — like planning for a later shopping trip — and that these thoughts had no effect on creativity. But when people’s minds wandered in more fantastical ways (playing out implausible fantasies or bizarre, funny scenarios, for example) or in ways that seemed particularly meaningful to them, they tended to have more creative ideas and feel more inspired at the end of the day, too. Interestingly, this was true for both writers and everyday people. “Writers probably do this for their creative process all the time — thinking through stories, considering ‘what ifs’ or unrealistic or bizarre scenarios,” says Zedelius. “But lay people will also do this more to be more creative.” This suggests that the link between mind-wandering and creativity is more complicated than previously thought. It seems to depend on how freely moving your thoughts are, the content of your thoughts, and your ability to be removed from everyday concerns. No doubt, this explains why my daydreaming on a hiking trail has led to song or story ideas that seem to bubble up from nowhere. Mind-wandering can help boost our mood Prior research suggests a wandering mind is an unhappy mind: we tend to be less happy when we’re not focused on what we’re doing. And that’s likely true, if you tend to rehash past mistakes or replay social flubs when your mind wanders, or if your mind-wandering keeps you from fulfilling your goals. Again, the content of wandering thoughts makes a big difference. For example, as one 2013 study showed, when people found their wandering thoughts more interesting, their moods actually improved while mind-wandering. Similarly, other studies have found that thinking about people you love or thinking more about your potential future than about what happened in the past produces positive results. Mind-wandering could make us more creative shutterstock/fizkes How you use mind-wandering may also be important. In some cases, people intentionally mind-wander — something that has been mostly unexplored in the research, but likely has distinct effects. As one 2017 study found, people who use daydreaming for self-reflection typically have more pleasant thoughts than people who simply ruminate on unpleasant experiences. 
 There is even some evidence that mind-wandering may be more of an antidote to depression than a cause. People who are depressed may simply replay events from their past to better understand what happened to cause their dark mood and avoid future problems. Also, when researchers studied whether a negative mood preceded or followed a mind-wandering episode, they found poor moods led to more mind-wandering but not vice versa, suggesting that mind-wandering may be helping people feel better. RELATED: Art for depression Now, findings from a 2021 study suggest that mind-wandering that is more freely moving can actually improve your mood. In this study, participants were prompted randomly via cell phone over three days to report how they were feeling (positive versus negative) and how much their thoughts were freely moving and related to what they were doing (or not). After analyzing the data, the researchers found that when people’s thoughts were off-task, they generally felt more negative — similar to what earlier findings showed. But if their thoughts were free-moving, it had the opposite effect, helping people feel happier. “Our findings suggest there might be positive aspects of mind-wandering,” the researchers conclude. Again, I find that science supports my own experience. If I simply put myself in a space that lets my mind move freely, I don’t get depressed. On the contrary, I’m happier because of it. Can we be better mind-wanderers? While the research on this is still young, it does indicate there may be a right and a wrong way to mind-wander. Kam warns that mind-wandering when you need to be focused on a task (or risk hurting yourself or others — like if you’re driving or doing surgery) could be problematic. But, she says, if you let your mind wander when you’re doing mundane tasks that don’t require focus — like knitting or shelling peas – it may help you feel better or come up with creative ideas. “The context and the content of your mind-wandering is actually really important. It plays a role in whether you get a good outcome or a not-so-good one,” she says. Though many of us have a default mode that takes our mind to dark places when we aren’t busily engaged, that doesn’t mean we have to stay stuck there. If we can divert our thoughts from those darker places, we’ll likely get more out of mind-wandering. “'The context and content of your mind-wandering is really important. It plays a role in whether you get a good outcome or a not-so-good one.'” Kam thinks practising mindfulness could help with that, as long as it increases awareness of our thoughts and alerts us when we’ve strayed into problematic thinking, which could then help us redirect our mind-wandering. “Just having more control over when mind-wandering happens and the kind of thoughts that you have would be very useful,” she says. Zedelius also says awareness matters. As many study participants told her, they had never paid much attention to where their minds went before being in her study, but found the process eye-opening. “They would say, ‘I’ve become aware of patterns in my thoughts that I never noticed before — what I get drawn to,’” she says. “It makes me wonder if the repeated probing we do in our experiments could not just be used as a measure, but as a type of intervention, to see if awareness changes over time.” Of course, even though daydreaming may be good for us, it gets a pretty bad rap in American culture. Americans tend to pride themselves on their strong work ethic — often translated as working hard for long hours with complete focus. But people are not built to be “on” all of the time. Taking a mind-wandering break might be good not just for our creativity and happiness, but also for our productivity, especially if we are in jobs requiring focused attention that is draining to maintain. And, as long as it’s employed during times when complete focus isn’t required, it may improve our well-being without hampering performance. We shouldn’t need an excuse to mind-wander, given that it’s part of our human inheritance. Besides, we’ve hardly begun to recognize what it can do for us, says Zedelius. “My hope is that people will explore the limits of mind-wandering a bit more and try to mind-wander in a way that is bigger, more fantastical, more personally meaningful, and further into the future,” she says. “If people just really allowed themselves to playfully use this tool, they might be able to focus on creative solutions to big problems.” • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Work life balance | Painting | Poetry Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish them with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

Can creating targeted gratitude affirmations boost our well-being? Sonia Vadlamani explores the science behind practising gratitude in the form of positive affirmations and offers insight on how to do it yourself. “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions.”, stated Zig Ziglar, the renowned motivation speaker. Several religions and spiritual gurus advocate gratitude as the ‘social glue’ that binds people and communities together for greater good. However, there is more to gratitude than merely being a cultural construct – researchers agree that one’s ability to be grateful is strongly associated with their physical and psychological health, happiness, and overall life satisfaction levels. What is gratitude? Put simply, gratitude refers to taking the time to reflect on and appreciate all positive aspects of your life. While it also includes social niceties like thanking others or random acts of kindness, gratitude entails expressing appreciation towards ourselves as well as other positive developments and experiences around us. Numerous studies have reinforced the importance of gratitude for our physical and mental well-being, as well as our happiness and overall life satisfaction levels. However, researchers consider gratitude to be a fundamental resource, especially because it can be incorporated with ease in our daily schedule without much fuss in the form of positive affirmations, journaling or meditation. How does gratitude work? To begin with, gratitude can help us overcome the ‘hedonic treadmill’, or the human tendency to become desensitized towards positive things that happen to us over time. For example, dreaming about getting a promotion at work, driving a snazzy sports car, owning a sprawling bungalow, etc. must have made you happier than actually attaining these things, since we are conditioned to return to our baseline contentment quickly after a sharp surge in happiness levels. Practise gratitude affirmations in front of a mirror shutterstock/fizkes Practising gratitude may help slow down hedonic adaptation, thus enabling us to maximize our happiness for all the noticeable milestones as well as the simplest pleasures in life. Furthermore, gratitude can help us overcome negativity bias, or the human tendency to focus more on the negative outcomes and experiences, allowing us to gradually develop a more optimistic point of view. Gratitude can also regulate our mood, improve health and even boost our productivity levels. Moreover, being grateful creates a lasting impact on the human brain, as per a study conducted by Joshua Brown et al at University of California. Using an fMRI scanner to measure the brain activity of participants who wrote gratitude letters, researchers noticed that those who practised gratitude were more sensitive towards recognizing acts of gratitude, which may contribute towards improved mental health in the longer run. Gratitude and the science behind positive affirmations While they may seem like products of “wishful thinking” at the outset, gratitude affirmations are positive statements that can create a powerful impact on our mind and outlook. As humans, we tend to subconsciously ingrain negative thought patterns and self-limiting beliefs which hamper our growth and happiness. Positive affirmations are essentially messages to your subconscious, meant to challenge your habitual ways of thinking and behaving. A review study by DK Sherman et al revealed that positive self-affirmations can considerably broaden an individual’s overall perspective. Additionally, repeating these positive statements over a period of time helps reinforce new neural pathways in a process called cognitive restructuring, which enables the mind to actually rely on these statements in stressful times, making it easier to cope with the duress. “While they may seem like products of 'wishful thinking' at the outset, affirmations are positive statements that can create a powerful impact on our mind and outlook.” Indeed, positive affirmations can help us lead more authentic lives by encouraging us to focus on areas which hold greater personal value for us, instead of seeking validation from others. Adding an element of gratitude to these self-affirmations can magnify positive emotions further, enabling us to cherish the present more and invite happiness and abundance freely into our lives. 23 gratitude affirmations you can try Gratitude affirmations are aimed at limiting self-sabotaging thoughts through conscious repetition and replacing negative beliefs with constructive statements or resolutions. You can choose to include specific areas in your life, like building confidence, financial freedom, body positivity etc. and design affirmations centered on bringing improvements in these areas. Here are some examples of gratitude affirmations you can repeat: Affirmations for daily gratitude I’m grateful for my secure and safe home. I’m thankful for access to clean, hygienic water and nourishing food. I’m grateful for the wonder that my body is, all that it accomplishes and is capable of. I appreciate the beauty of nature that surrounds me, and my ability to pause and savor it. Gratitude affirmations for love and relationships I’m grateful for the love and affection I receive from my loved ones, which I try to reciprocate to the best of my ability. I’m thankful for nurturing loving and supportive friendships, and I try to support my friends to the best of my ability. I appreciate the unconditional love my pets have for me, and how they enrich my life with their warmth and loyalty. I’m deserving of cultivating long-long-term connections. I’m thankful for attracting healthy relationships in my life. Positive affirmations can help you focus on self-improvement Gratitude affirmations for manifesting success While my thoughts may vary through the day, my grateful spirit is reflected in every decision I make and each action I undertake. I realize that learning is a constant process, and I’m thankful for the lessons I learn every day. By appreciating everything I have and all that is working in my favor, I tap into abundance and invite great opportunities into my life. I believe I am the creator of my success and happiness. I’m thankful for all I have achieved thus far and grateful for the ability to manifest my goals for the future. I’m grateful for the support and dedication by my teammates or employees to achieve our collective goals and milestones. Gratitude affirmations for confidence and positive outlook I’m thankful for the person I am today, and the person I am constantly evolving into during this journey of perpetual self-growth. I’m positive that the Universe is looking out for me and grateful that it’s sending out the best possible outcomes my way. I understand and appreciate that I can achieve everything I set my mind and heart to, provided I go in fully prepared to put in the hard work required to achieve it. I realize that each obstacle in my journey thus far has been an opportunity for learning and developing resilience, and I’m grateful for these life lessons. Gratitude affirmations for financial freedom I’m perpetually amazed by and grateful for how abundant my life already is. I’m thankful for a positive cashflow, and I’m inviting abundance every day with my focused thoughts and consistent actions. I enjoy a constructive relationship with money and I’m grateful for the wisdom to spend my money wisely. I surrender any resistance I may have towards attracting money. I’m thankful for my ability to create the financial freedom I deem myself worthy of. How to practise gratitude affirmations Fortunately, gratitude affirmations are simple to define and easy to implement as well. The key to making your affirmations more efficient involves identifying your core values or problem areas that you wish to target. Positive affirmations can help you focus better, find your flow state, help you combat stress and anxiety – the possibilities are endless. A great way to make your affirmations more effective is to repeat them out loud as you face the mirror, also known as ‘mirror work’. “Looking at yourself in the mirror will make you aware about your intentions and reflect your feelings, strengthening your connection with the affirmations”, advocates Louise Hay, healer and author of bestselling book Mirror Work: 21 Days to Heal Your Life. “Positive affirmations can help you focus better, find your flow state, help you combat stress and anxiety – the possibilities are endless.” Maintaining a gratitude journal is another way to strengthen your affirmations, as writing about gratitude can aid improved emotional regulation and better adherence to goal-setting. Start by sparing 15 minutes of your time every day to jot down at least 5 gratitude affirmations in each area you wish to focus on. It is important to set self-doubt and judgment aside while you do this – consider this to be an honest reflection of your feelings for the day. Gratitude meditation is another reliable medium to supercharge your affirmations. Indeed, research points out that focusing on one’s blessings and positive events in life can improve their well-being. Getting started with gratitude meditation routine is easy. Choose a convenient time (preferably early morning or before bedtime) and dedicate at least 10 minutes of your time to focus on your chosen gratitude affirmations. Takeaway: gratitude affirmations Gratitude is a powerful emotion – indeed, developing an attitude of gratitude can revolutionize your overall well-being and happiness levels. It's important to be consistent and patient with whichever practice you’ve chosen to proceed with, as the benefits of gratitude affirmations can take a while to become apparent. Thankfully, building your ‘gratitude muscle’ is an enjoyable and free process, and the rewards you reap will make it worth the effort. • Main image: shutterstock/krackenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Motivation | Altruism | Lightwork Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Purposefully examining our personalities for flaws and negative traits can be unsettling but the rewards are many. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains what shadow work is, the benefits it offers, and five ways how you can start doing it. In one of his most famous quotes from Modern Man in Search of a Soul, Carl Gustav Jung said: “How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also If I am to be whole.” Shadow work is based on Jung’s concept of the shadow, which, in its simplest, represents the parts of our personalities we would rather not possess. However, we do. Not only possess them – they make up part of who we are. Regardless of how uncomfortable we are with those aspects of our Self, they are here. And, most importantly, they guide our actions from a shadow. That is why shadow work is essential if we are to become fully conscious of why we do the things we do. But, what is shadow work? This article will explain the basic concepts of shadow work, why it is essential and how to do it. What is shadow work? In his uncanny ability to name complex concepts in a way that resonates with everyone, Jung spoke of the shadow. It is the part of ourselves that holds all that a person has no wish to be. However, it also contains all sorts of qualities, capacities and potential. In Jung’s own words, the “shadow is that hidden, repressed, for the most part, inferior and guilt-laden personality whose ultimate ramifications reach back into the realm of our animal ancestors… If it has been believed hitherto that the human shadow was the source of evil, it can now be ascertained on a closer investigation that the unconscious man, that is, his shadow does not consist only of morally reprehensible tendencies, but also displays a number of good qualities, such as normal instincts, appropriate reactions, realistic insights, creative impulses […]“. • INTERESTED IN SELF-GROWTH? Sign-up for free courses in our happiness Academy • The shadow is usually born with our parents’ or society’s disapproval of our impulses. We then learn to block and deny them to ourselves and, simply put, be “good”. But, we do not only change our behaviour. We choose to “forget” those unacceptable impulses. Learn how to do shadow work and unlock potential shutterstock/Douceflour The problem arises when a person represses the shadow – which we invariably most often do. By sweeping parts of our Self we are uncomfortable with under the rug, we expose ourselves to many adversities. Studies on the perils of repression revealed that it can lead to: Loss of energy Increased risk of cancer and cardiovascular diseases Suboptimal interpersonal interactions - we feel threatened (and our physiological responses match that feeling), while others also feel threatened by our suppression of emotions A decline in physical and mental health and the overall well-being Loss of creativity and productivity So, what is shadow work? Shadow work is a process in which you learn to recognize, understand and accept your shadow. Although it sounds straightforward, it is, in fact, a laborious endeavour. However, avoiding the adversities of repressing the shadow is well worth the effort. How shadow work can improve your life Living without the shadow, that is, without it in your consciousness, means living an incomplete life. You are not consciously in charge of all your decisions, perceptions and actions. Not convinced? If you take a closer look at your experiences, you will surely notice incidents when you acted “out of character”. Yet, this slip-up did not just come out of nowhere. Your shadow self took over. Indeed, the parts of ourselves that we ignore tend to turn against us eventually. “When you embark on shadow work, you can expect a range of positive outcomes. Shadow work is a profound way to enhance your relationship with yourself, others, and the world.” When you embark on shadow work, you can expect a range of positive outcomes. In response to the question: “What is shadow work?” these benefits offer an answer – shadow work is a profound way to enhance your relationship with yourself, others, and the world. Improved relationships What we perceive as flaws, when repressed, is most often projected onto others. We are judgmental, dismissive, and hypercritical – we hate weaknesses in others. Shadow work makes you more grounded and accepting of others. Increased confidence When you learn to understand and accept your shadow, you can become authentically more confident. You are no longer a captive of your repressed fears of condemnation. You own all your parts and need not frantically hide them from others and yourself. This creates more inner confidence. Enhanced energy and physical health Repressing emotions and thoughts is arduous work. As said before, it takes a toll on your energy levels and has been shown to even lead to a range of diseases, from chronic fatigue to cancer. When you let the dam open, it can be scary at first – but it will release your energy and help you be healthier. Psychological integration and maturity Mature adulthood is not a given. According to some authors, merely 2 per cent of adults reach this psychological development stage. Shadow work brings you closer to authentic maturity and wisdom. Greater creativity Creativity, according to humanistic psychologists such as Maslow and Rogers, is a hallmark of self-actualised, mentally healthy individuals. When you repress your “dark side”, the collateral damage is creativity in all life areas. On the flip side, when you open the gates between all the parts of your psyche, creative impulses will start to flow again. How to practise shadow work If you started reading this article with the question: “What is shadow work?” by now, you are probably wondering, “OK, so how can I do shadow work?” Although completing shadow work usually requires a professional’s help, there are plenty of activities you can do on your own to start communicating with your shadow. Overall, shadow work exercises centre around three basic principles – awareness, honesty and acceptance. Here are five activities to get you started with befriending your shadow. 1. Develop self-awareness The most obvious yet, highly challenging step in shadow work is cultivating awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Our shadow, albeit hidden, gives clues of who she/he is. Repressed content appears in our dreams, slip-ups, projections, acting-outs. Learn to observe your experiences. Who makes you particularly angry? Why? What it is in others you cannot stand? What do you dream about that feels foreign when you wake up? In which situations you tend to “lose it”? Meditation can assist you in fostering self-awareness. Mindfulness offers awareness with suspended judgement – just what you need when you do shadow work. 2. Be unswervingly honest Yes, a predictable piece of advice, but a tough one. Most of us spent our entire lives with a strong urge not to let out flaws show. As good we are at hiding imperfections from others – we are masters in hiding them from ourselves. Facing up to all sides of who you are is part of shadow work Nonetheless, what you hide from yourself owns you. So, face the monster. Do not do it in a judgmental way. That would be your Super Ego talking. You want to be unshakably honest but not criticizing or condemning. It will not be comfortable. It will take courage. But, at the end of the road, autonomy and genuine confidence await you. (Also, no one is looking. Nobody is listening. Just be frank.) 3. Be compassionate with yourself The way to avoid rife (unconstructive, to be precise) self-criticism is to practise self-compassion. Become your best friend, unconditionally supportive, and be good to yourself at all times. You will need it once you start facing the skeletons in your psychological closet. According to Kristin Neff, a psychologist researching self-compassion, it has three components: Self-kindness (being supportive, kind, and forgiving towards yourself) Common humanity (understanding that you are not alone in your pain and imperfection) Mindfulness (accepting your experiences without being condemnatory) 4. Recollect your projections As you read above, what we repress about ourselves, we tend to project onto others. Your job now is to recollect those projections. Claim the weaknesses and flaws back. Yes, you are not perfect. But you must come to peace with that, instead of hating, being repulsed by, or fearing others. It is the only way to see yourself, others, and the world realistically. “Shadow work is a process in which you learn to recognize, understand and accept your shadow. Although it sounds straightforward, it is, in fact, laborious.” So, the next time you notice that you are possibly overreacting about someone’s actions, ask yourself – what is making me so angry/scared/judgmental? What part of me is hiding behind my reaction? Do this again and again, and respond with the steadfast honesty we spoke of earlier. 5. Keep a shadow journal The final step in shadow work is to keep a journal. The disowned parts of ourselves are tricky. They can still elude you – even after you have noticed them. Your mind will keep trying to repress the darkness for some time. RELATED: Journaling techniques – travels to our interior So, write down your insights regularly. Make sure you come back to your notes from time to time to refresh your memory, in a sense. After a while, they will finally stick in your conscious awareness. The wrap: embrace your wholeness Getting to know anyone’s “dark” side is always an unnerving experience. But when it is your own darkness, it can be downright scary. However, let us channel Socrates to encourage ourselves to do so – “the unexamined life is not worth living”. Indeed, you will never be complete unless you know and accept every nook and cranny of your soul. You will never be the master of your actions unless you learn to look your darkest motives in the eye. So, venture into shadow work as soon as now. You might be amazed by how more vibrant life feels once you dismiss the veil of repression and become accepting of your whole Self. • Main image: shutterstock/Dean Drobot happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum ■ developing with free online classes in our Academy Self-help | Coaching | Kindness | Authenticity Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Recovering from addiction is rarely easy, but there are things that can make your journey lighter. From getting quality sleep to finding purpose through volunteering, Amber Speck shares seven different tips to help you on your way... There’s no doubt about it — recovering from addiction is a bumpy road. At times, going to meetings and staying vigilant can be both emotionally and physically exhausting. As such, your mind and body need to be in top shape in order to successfully manage recovering from substance abuse and enjoying a life committed to healthy habits and living. Here are seven ways you can help yourself when it comes to recovering from addiction. 1. Sleep Getting good quality sleep — deep enough and long enough — will improve your focus, motivation, physical health, confidence and mental health. Get better sleep by upgrading your mattress. Recovering from addiction sometimes comes with unexpected physical pain. Get a more comfortable night’s sleep by focusing on a medium-firm to firm mattress (5.5-7.5 on the firmness scale) that eases back and joint pain. 2. Exercise Exercising can be more exciting and life-changing than simply lifting weights at the gym or running on a treadmill. Take a bike ride, go kayaking, participate in a yoga class, or join a friend for tennis, golf or basketball. You can also find serenity by picking up a solo activity like hiking, mindful running or wild swimming. Exercise will not only occupy your time and keep your mind from thinking about your addiction, but the boost in endorphins will also help you better manage stress and pressure. Exercising will help when recovering from addiction 3. Meditation Studies show that even as little as ten minutes of regular meditation a day can have a big impact on your mental health, especially as you manage the ups and downs of recovery. There are many ways to bring the benefits of meditation into your life — sitting in the morning in silence, walking in nature, chanting a mantra, or focusing on a healthy intention. Meditation empowers you to lower heart rate and blood pressure while letting go of intrusive thoughts that can lead to relapse. 4. Cooking Cooking is a great hobby to cultivate when you are recovering from addiction. You can explore new tastes and sensations while strengthening your brain by improving your focus, attention to detail and problem-solving skills. Cooking can also be a social event, as it’s a great way to spend time with friends or family who support your sobriety. In addition, proper nutrition will help your body recover and rebuild after being held hostage by addiction. Boost your recovery from addiction with good nutrition 5. Get social You can’t do this alone, though, at times, you will absolutely feel it. It takes a village to support your recovery journey, but being open to a network of support doesn’t mean you have to talk about recovery all day. Build your sober social circle by taking crafting or photography classes, joining a team sport or going to poetry readings or open mic nights. 6. Finding a hobby Having trouble finding a hobby? There are so many options and opportunities in this world that you may feel overwhelmed. When you are ready to look for a new hobby or activity, start off by creating a list of activities you liked before substance abuse took hold in your life. An easy way to find a hobby is to get back into an activity you enjoyed before drugs or alcohol took control of your free time. “Cooking is a great hobby to cultivate when you are recovering from addiction. You can explore new tastes and sensations while strengthening your brain.” If you're struggling for ideas, conduct an internet search for hobbies and activities near you. Jot down the ones that are available in your area and might be fun to check out. Or, ask to join a sober family member in a hobby or activity they enjoy – learn something new through the excited eyes of someone you trust and respect. 7. Volunteering When you first enter recovery, overcoming addiction is your main purpose. However, as you become more confident, the feeling that you lack purpose may start to emerge. That’s when volunteering can be a helpful hobby to instill meaning. In fact, giving yourself in service to others will not only occupy time, but it also gives you a daily reason to recommit to recovering from addiction. You can volunteer in person at a variety of causes, such as homeless shelters, veterans’ organizations or animal shelters. Consider bringing along your children, if you have any, for invaluable bonding opportunities. Helping hands: keep busy and do something useful The wrap: recovering from addiction Recovery doesn’t end when you stop using the substances that have been dictating your life; it’s also about making healthy lifestyle choices that impact your overall health and well-being. From exercise to eating healthy, these tips will assist you when you are recovering from addiction, helping you to build a healthy, happy life. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Addiction + Recovery | Chronic pain | Stress management Written by Amber Speck Writing about recovery saved Amber Speck's life. After four years of sobriety, she’s ready to share her story and hopes doing so will help others. That's why she created writeaboutrecovery.com. Writing played a major role in her recovery, guiding her on the journey to learn how to love herself again. She knows writing can play an essential therapeutic role for others too.

The modern media are reporting more feel good news stories than ever. But is reading positive news scientifically proven to lift your spirits? Read on to find out... Happiness is an essential part of everyday life. We all know the benefits of waking up in the morning and looking forward to our day. We turn on the television or open the newspaper, hopefully finding some happy, feel good news, enabling our cheerful mood to continue. Everyone’s perspective of feel good news is different, of course. According to child psychiatrist Dr. Jonathan Nehrer, simply smiling can help us to think more positively. It also acts as a coping mechanism for any negative issues we may be going through. Feel good news: the rise of positive media With the increased tensions in the world and a global pandemic, it's almost impossible to ignore the negative news circulating in the media. To counteract it, there has been a clear rise in feel good news; news solely designed to increase happiness levels. RELATED: The Bright Side – feel good news from June An article by Ray Williams from ‘Wired For Success’, printed in Psychology Today, provides a quote from Loretta Garziano Breuning, the author of ‘Meet Your Happy Chemicals’. In this quote, she contends that deep anxiety can result from following predominately negative news. Stories to make you smile: feel good by reading positive press However, it's that very mechanism of 'feel good' news which helps to make us feel happier. It also appears to help to limit anxiety, allowing us to feel more contented and able to cope with and resolve problems. Great news for good news Many mainstream newspapers now feature positive news stories daily in their publications. Indeed, 'good news' sections can be found on the following sites: Daily Mirror Today Huffington Post The Telegraph BBC Additionally, every month here on happiness.com we publish The Bright Side, a round-up of the Top 10 happy news stories from the past 30 days. There are also many sites out there dedicated to only publishing positive news: GoodNewsNetwork Positive.News Daily Good It's easy to go through our day reading inspirational or funny stories. This feel good news appears to have come about because research shows that we choose to read depressing stories as a matter of course. That's according to an experiment carried out at the McGill University by researchers Marc Trussler and Stuart Soroka. The idea behind feel good news is that it's important to counteract the negativity of bad news. Feel good stories can achieve a positive mood, attitude and happiness. Editors may believe that negative news sells, since many people choose that it over good news. However, Denise Baden’s research indicates that it's having adverse effects on our well-being. Framing news in such a negative and shocking style might be good for business, but it's not good for mental health or society. Feel good news: escapism or optimism? Inspiring stories appear to create a feeling of optimism. The question is: do we actually believe in this optimism long-term or is it just a form of escapism? In an article in The Guardian, philosopher Pascal Bruckner states that although humanity has many problems, he's prepared to believe that ‘something will turn up’ to put things right. This in itself is a fine display of optimism. Sometimes we can read or hear feel good news that relates to ourselves, but, most often, it has to do with other people or places. This immediately offers us escapism. For example, picturing ourselves in the situation or location of the news: a big lottery winner or an inspirational story of human kindness. The need for escapism is usually within us all and, unless we are in a position to just jump on an airplane to a warm, sunny beach somewhere, then this type of news can often provide a great substitute. “The idea behind feel good news is that it's important to counteract the negativity of bad news. Feel good stories can achieve a positive mood and happiness.” One of the main reasons why the need for feel good news arose is because it provides us with a positive way forward. Quite simply, it makes us happy and when we are happy our perspective on life in general increases enormously. This, in turn, adds to our feeling of well-being, which also offers great health benefits. RELATED: Changing perspective and gaining happiness In fact, happiness can help to reduce high blood pressure, according to Science Daily. It also increases levels of dopamine, one of our happiness hormones. People who are feeling lonely might find that reading heartwarming news can help them to keep in touch with other people's lives and to think outside of the box. Therefore, the conclusion could well be that the positive psychology offered by good news stories creates both escapism and optimism. Most good news is bad news with a happy ending So why do we read sad stories? Perhaps the potential role of 'eudaimonic' or meaning-making motives provides a reason. We know it's going to be sad, but we read it anyway, perhaps hoping for a happy ending or a great solution to a problem that's been bothering us. If there isn't one, then our feel good factor can drop and we start to look for something that will cheer us up. Perfect endings can create joy and positive psychology, which could also be the reason why television newsreaders will always try to end newscasts on a positive news story. This allows them to conclude with a smile. For example, climate change is a problem that worries us all and is constantly in the news. We'd much prefer to read a story like this from the World Wildlife Organisation. One that tells us the world leaders are all pulling together to save our planet. We're immediately given hope for the future. In return, this creates that all important positivity that we crave. Good news is vital, but without a suitable ending, it serves no purpose towards increasing our level of happiness. We must consider, however, that a lot of news does not have a happy ending. One must wonder, does the provision of good news stories have more to do with increasing readership than our well-being? Positive press: good news creates good vibes We choose what we wish to read, nobody decides for us. So, it's impossible to be critical of the media which supplies us with these stories, especially when they're giving out information that, not only gives us pleasure but also inspires us. As an example, there's a story about a police officer who was sent to break up a dance party; instead, this kind man taught the youngsters how to Salsa. Feel good news and our mood Social media can also assist in improving our mood and world perception as it's probably the most popular way of exchanging information and expressing opinions. According to ProCon.org, it's the most used form of communication during times of crisis. Especially since it's the ideal way to deliver messages asking for support. This often creates immediate responses and offers of help, turning sad news into something more positive. “Perfect endings can create joy and positive psychology, which could also be the reason why television newsreaders will try to end on a positive spin.” Whether the feel good news appears as a story or a picture, the effect it can have on our mood or perception of the world is enormous and instantaneous. Sometimes it offers us solutions or different options and a wider point of view. Our Facebook feeds, for example, are often full of feel good news stories. Our friends, family and colleagues post them. This not only creates a feeling of positivity but also happiness, according to a study of 1,910 people from 91 different countries, conducted at the Carnegie Mellon University together with Facebook researchers. An article in Psychology Today recounts a study from Seaward BL, 'Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Well-Being.' In it, the article states that smiling starts the process of releasing neuropeptides which work towards helping us to fight off stress. To do this, we should try to make the time to focus on delightful news stories that put a smile on our faces. The ensuing positivity can often help us to discover solutions to resolve our own problems. An article by Positive.News shows results from research carried out at Southampton University involving over 2,000 respondents. It found that bad news led to negative mood swings and anxiety, while a positive news story led to a greater feeling of motivation and hope. RELATED: 21 day happiness challenge From the perspective of positive psychology, waking up in the morning to feel good news can easily set our mood for the rest of the day. Simply by focusing on the solution rather than the problem could make us realise that perhaps our issues or worries have resolutions. That maybe, they are not quite as bad as they first seemed. Thinking outside of the box will often help us to see the bigger picture. Most importantly, it will help us to realise that happiness is within our grasp because feel good news is just at the touch of a keyboard. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ developing with free online classes in our Academy Self-help | Coaching | Authenticity Written by Guest Author We're happy to publish articles by guest authors that will broaden the perspective and bring new insights. If you're interested in publishing an article here on happiness.com, please contact us.

Being in any kind of relationship with someone lacking in empathy and compassion can be challenging. But as Dee Marques suggests, you don't have to put up with it. Discover the signs that show someone lacks empathy and learn eight ways to handle them successfully. As human beings, we’re wired to share experiences and connect with others. When we do that, we usually expect others to understand us, or at least to acknowledge our emotions. And that’s precisely why it’s so hurtful to come across someone who lacks empathy. The experience can leave us confused and resentful, but there are things we can do to cope with it. In this article we’ll look at why some people struggle to empathize with others, common lack of empathy signs, and what you can do when dealing with people low on empathy. What is empathy? At its most basic, empathy is the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Showing empathy means being able to identify and recognize the needs, feelings and intentions of other people around us, even if they’re different from ours. The concept of empathy has been central to keeping societies together. Being able to empathize with others can make everyday interactions smoother and reinforce interpersonal bonds, whether they are personal or professional. Empathy is also related to other important aspects of human behaviour, such as altruism and compassion. What’s more, empathy is considered an important aspect of emotional intelligence, as it helps us regulate our emotional response in a way that benefits us and those around us. As such, it can be beneficial to mental health, since empathetic people tend to enjoy stronger and more rewarding relationships with others. Why do some people lack empathy? If empathy has such a powerful effect, why do some people seem to lack it? First of all, it’s rare for someone to have no empathy at all. It’s so rare that psychologists classify a total lack of empathy as a disorder, usually linked to narcissistic or anti-social personalities. A lack of empathy causes relationship problems Empathy is a quality that displays to different degrees and has a strong situational component. This means that people can make the decision to show empathy or not, depending on the circumstances and the people involved. The degree of empathy someone shows can also depend on past experiences. Some people may have opened up to others and had bad experiences, so the automatic reaction is to shut down and avoid behaviours that can make them feel vulnerable or remind them of unpleasant experiences. Another reason why you may notice signs of lack of empathy in some people is that there are different ways we come to acquire this quality. Empathy is the result of both learned and automatic responses. It’s partly innate, so we have the ability to develop it from birth. • JOIN US! Sign-up and connect with a caring, curious and spiritual community • But empathy is also something that can be learned, so people who were raised in families where compassion and affinity levels were low may show a lack of empathy. This is because they haven’t been exposed to good examples, or, in some cases, they may not even know that some situations require empathy. “Behind a lack of empathy is the belief that someone is always right. This can lead to frequent arguments and can have a negative impact on personal relationships.” While the reasons why people are low on empathy are complex, the signs of a lack of empathy are pretty much standard across the board. Signs someone is lacking empathy Here are some common signs of lack of empathy to know and look out for: Constant criticism People who lack empathy tend to be judgemental of others. This is usually because they’re unable to empathise with other people, so their perspective is limited and they can only find faults instead of understanding that we all make mistakes. Constant criticism and an unforgiving attitude are clear signs of an absence of empathy. Poor emotional control We’ve already explored the link between empathy and emotional intelligence. Both are essential to regulate emotional responses, so people who are low on either often overreact and have outbursts of anger or impatience. Poor control over reactions is also evident in inappropriate comments or an insensitive attitude to other people’s feelings and struggles. Can’t read body language Empathy entails “reading” other people, not only by what they say but also by paying attention to their body language. People who are low on empathy aren’t very good at picking up body language cues. Because they can’t do that, they’re likely to respond in ways that upset others. They never say sorry or admit they’re wrong Behind the lack of empathy is the belief that someone is always right. This can lead to frequent arguments and can eventually have a negative impact on personal relationships. Handling someone who shows a lack of empathy So, what exactly can you do if you have to interact with people who show signs of a lack of empathy? These interactions often create a cascade of negative feelings, from disappointment to anger or frustration at not being understood. The main thing to understand is that although we can’t change people, we can change the way we react to them, even if faced with a shortage of empathy. So, the solution isn’t to get into arguments or try to reason with people who have trouble empathizing with you. Instead: 1. Don’t take insensitive comments personally The problem isn’t you, it's the lack of empathy in the other person. Because these comments stem from poor emotional intelligence, they are likely to be based on inaccurate perceptions. Don’t take it to heart, because they’re not a reflection of who you are. 2. Avoid emotion-based reasoning When there’s friction in interpersonal relationships, there are many situations where saying “when you do X, I feel Y” can work. But that’s not always the case with people who lack empathy – remember that their emotional responses are different, so emotion-based arguments are unlikely to yield results. It can even make them and you more frustrated. RELATED: Constructive criticism: its benefits and how to give it 3. Manage your expectations It would be wonderful if we could change the way people act towards us, but that’s not always realistic and especially in the case of people who are low in empathy. Avoid heartache by reminding yourself what you can and can’t expect from them and manage your expectations accordingly. Avoid emotionally-based reasoning with those lacking in empathy shutterstock/WAYHOME studio 4. Work on your self-esteem If you’ve been dealing with lack of empathy for a while, the negative comments or criticism may have made a dent in your self-esteem. Don’t let that hole grow any bigger by linking your self-worth to what others say or letting those attitudes feed limiting beliefs or negative self-talk. If your self-esteem needs some TLC, try some self-love meditation. 5. Keep your distance If you’re repeatedly hurt by someone who lacks empathy, it may be wise to limit your interactions with them. This can be tricky if they’re family or coworkers that you see everyday. In that case, it could help to stick to topics that aren’t emotionally loaded. If this doesn’t work, don’t be afraid of setting boundaries. 6. Invest in healthy relationships Keeping your distance from people who display lack of empathy signs doesn’t mean you have to isolate yourself. Compensate for limited interaction with people who struggle showing empathy by spending more time with those who do. Nurturing those relationships can build up resilience when faced with a lack of empathy. RELATED: Building resilience – 5 strategies for thriving 7. Don’t let if affect your perception of others Hurtful interactions with people who have no empathy can bring emotional pain, but try not to harbour it or resentment. It’s OK to be vulnerable, and in fact this goes hand in hand with empathy. Just be selective with who you open up to. 8. Take it as an opportunity to grow Being hurt can be an opportunity to learn about ourselves and become stronger. Don’t blame yourself, but think constructively about why lack of empathy affected you and what does that reveal about your own emotions and expectations. You can cope with lack of empathy signs We can all develop empathy, but not everyone chooses to do so. If you’ve been affected by interactions with people low on compassion and affinity, don’t take it personally, work on your self-esteem, and nurture meaningful relationships. We can learn something from most experiences in life, so take this as an opportunity to learn about yourself, your emotional needs, and how to meet them. • Main image: shutterstock/Dustin Petkovic happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Enlightenment | Constructive criticism | Friendship Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

If you're looking for the right rehab centre for yourself or a family member, there are some key factors to consider. From location, cost and program length, Amber Speck explains the points to remember when it comes to choosing the right rehabilitation centre. If you’re one of the 46 per cent of people with a family member who suffers from drug addiction, you’ve surely encountered moments of helplessness in your life. You may have attempted to run an intervention but were met with resistance and contempt. You may have given up because you were tired of trying, or you didn’t want to lose your loved one to estrangement. Or, you may have tried to choose the right rehab centre for them but they weren't ready or willing to proceed. RELATED: 7 ways you can help your recovery from addiction Whatever the scenario, watching a loved one with a drug addiction isn’t easy, especially when you’ve tried your best to help and nothing has worked. You might feel like you’ve failed, but you didn’t. It’s not your fault that the addiction is stronger than any of the forces at work. Understanding addiction Addiction isn’t limited to illicit street drugs. The addictive substance could be legal drugs such as alcohol or prescription opioids (prescription painkillers), or legal habits such as sex and gambling. Addiction treatment was once stigmatized because it was seen as a rehabilitation method for illegal drug users or signaled a fall from grace. And with millions of addicts abusing substances that are not illegal, the criminality behind substance abuse is no longer the case. Indeed, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders now classifies addiction as a mental health disorder. “It might be difficult to convince an addict that it’s time to get sober, but when they’re ready, you can show your support by helping them choose the right rehab centre for them.” Addiction treatment has changed quite a bit over the years, but despite the fact that it’s now widely considered as a physical and mental illness, stigmas still exist that prevent people from getting the help and treatment they need. Which type of rehab? It might be difficult to convince an addict that it’s time to get sober, but when they’re ready, you can show your support by helping them choose the right rehab centre for them. There are three main types of rehabilitation programs: Therapeutic Communities Sober living and residential communities run by non-medical peers; these might also include 12-step models. Outpatient Treatment The recovering addict attends meetings and counseling at specific hours but lives at home. Inpatient Treatment The patient checks into an addiction treatment facility for weeks or months at a time, until the doctor clears them for recovery and assimilation back into normal life. This can be followed by an outpatient program or community therapy to help maintain sobriety Choosing the right rehab and support from family and friends is essential Choosing the right rehab: 4 factors to consider As you begin the process of selecting a rehab, it is essential to keep these four factors in mind: Location If you plan to visit your loved one while he or she's in rehab, choose a centre that’s close to home. It helps recovering addicts to have sober support nearby, but they also need to be as far away as possible from potential triggers and negative influences. Program type and length Some addicts will require longer stays to get sober, and others need shorter programs so they can get back to work or parenting duties. Alternate arrangements may need to be made to ensure a successful recovery. In the States, the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) protects you from being fired during medical leave for up to 12 weeks. Cost Research a few different treatment centres to find the one with the right cost and payment plan for your family. If you have healthcare insurance, check whether it covers substance abuse treatment. Recreational Programs Some rehabs will have recreational activities to life a patient's mood during recovery, promoting social interactions in a sober environment, and helping the recovering addict discover new hobbies and interests. The right rehab makes it easier to break free from the chains of addiction To make sure you’re getting the best treatment available for your family member, you should ask questions based on your loved one’s own preferences and needs. When it comes to finding a rehab center, your family shouldn’t settle for cheap or convenient. Addiction is a serious disease that can cause permanent injury and irreparable damage if left untreated, and treatment is not where you should take the easy way out. Do your due diligence as you choose the right rehab program, as a poor fit could ultimately lead to relapse. Be a source of love, support and encouragement without enabling the bad behaviors or letting yourself get hurt in the process. It’s a long road to recovery, but it can be done, together. ● Main image: Pixabay happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Addiction + Recovery | Chronic pain | Stress management Written by Amber Speck Writing about recovery saved Amber Speck's life. After four years of sobriety, she’s ready to share her story and hopes doing so will inspire and help others. That's why she created writeaboutrecovery.com. Writing played a major role in her recovery, guiding her on the journey to learn how to love herself again. She knows writing can play an essential therapeutic role for others too.

There have been plenty of feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during June. Ed Gould rounds up his Top 10 from the past month to uplift and inspire. June 2021 was a particularly auspicious month for good news stories. In fact, there were many items that could have made it into this month's Top 10 which didn't. So, what were the most positive and heart-warming stories from the past month? 1. 'Extinct' orchid flowers in London A species of orchid that was once thought to be extinct in the UK was discovered in June in the unlikeliest of places. Rather than being found by researchers deep in the Amazonian basin, the small flower was spotted on the top of an 11-storey building in the City of London. The orchid – known as Serapias parvifloraIt – was spotted high up on the roof of a bank. Usually the plant is most at home in Mediterranean-like conditions and was last seen growing in the wile in the UK over ten years ago in Cornwall. How it made its way to the rooftops of one of the city's biggest investment banks remains a mystery, however. 2. Cure for hiccuping found? It may not be a debilitating ailment but – as we all know – a case of the hiccups can be annoying. But there is some good news for anyone who has to suffer hiccuping on a regular basis. According to Science Alert, a new system has been developed which helps people to stop hiccuping almost immediately. What's more, so far it's thought to never have failed. When people's diaphragms twitch, there are many homespun remedies you can try. However, the HiccAway has been developed by a start-up technology team. The device – which you suck from – causes the diaphragm to contract, thereby preventing people who use it from producing more hiccups. All you need is a glass of water and this straw-like gadget to stop hiccuping ever again! 3. Coffee consumption is good for your liver Most people avoid drinking too much coffee because it's a stimulant and can increase anxiety levels. However, a report in New Scientist suggests that consuming even decaffeinated coffee can help to avoid liver disease from developing. The discovery was made at the UK's University of Southampton where hundreds of thousands of people's drinking habits were taken into account when looking at their medical histories. Over the course of about 11 years, the incidences of chronic liver disease and steatosis were found to be lower among coffee drinkers. Indeed, the associated death rate from liver-related conditions was much better among people who regularly consumed the beverage, too. Coffee could keep liver disease at bay shutterstock/wavebreakmedia 4. Flow activities are best when awaiting news According to a report in the news feed of the University of California Riverside, the best thing you can do when you are anxiously awaiting news is to do something your brain will gain flow from. The idea is that of Kate Sweeny, a professor in psychology, who put together her approach from two different studies with 729 participants. Rather than doing nothing and allowing the mind to worry, Sweeeny's academic paper suggests that meditation is a better activity. However, Sweeny recognises that this is not something everyone can do so she suggests watching an emotional film or listening to some powerful music instead as a way of achieving flow and a less troubled mind. RELATED: Flow state and happiness – how to achieve it 5. Sleeping earlier may help to combat depression According to the New York Times and numerous other media outlets, recent research suggests that going to bed an hour earlier than usual will help to stave off depression. Doing so will move the waking cycle forwards, something that has been found to reduce the likelihood of a major depressive state forming by as much as 23 per cent. RELATED: 14 sleep hacks to get a good night's rest 6. Mindfulness and birdwatching had positive effects in the pandemic Many people have turned to mindfulness to help them during the current global healthcare crisis. However, a study published in the International Journal of Environment Research and Public Health has demonstrated that when people take part in birdwatching activities in a mindful way, they gain an even more significant boost. According to Psychology Today, birdwatching was one of the few outdoor activities people could do mindfully while maintaining social distancing. Its report suggested that staying closer to home and watching local birds helped many people to connect with nature in a way they might not have usually done, thereby gaining mental health benefits including a sense of inner joy. Birdwatching is both mindful and joyful shutterstock/soft_light 7. Drones help get rid of Galapagos Islands' rat population Famous for the development of Darwin's theory of evolution, the Galapagos Islands have been overrun by invasive rats in some places. However, drone technology has been deployed to defeat the rodents. Officials in the Galapagos National Park now reckon that two islands are completely rat-free for the first time in well over a century, helping native species to thrive, unhindered by the rats' presence. By using drones, the extermination team was able to get bait to the precise locations it was needed to target the creatures without causing damage to the natural inhabitants of the islands. 8. Urban forest announced in Glasgow Scotland's biggest city is due to get a good deal greener thanks to a new initiative that will see tens of millions of trees planted in and around the urban environment. Cowan Park, in Barrhead, and Barwood Park, in Erskine, have already been earmarked for the project already but all of the local authority areas in the city will take part. The idea, according to local councillors, is to make the city more attractive as well as offsetting much of the carbon that the cityscape produces each year. It is expected to take ten years to bring the urban forest to fruition. RELATED: Forest bathing – 6 science-backed benefits 9. The future looks more promising for bees Bees have long been declining in numbers around the world. This is big problem for plants – and humans – as the black and yellow creatures are such efficient pollinators. One of the things that has been making life harder for bees is the widespread use of pesticides in agriculture and horticulture. However, according to a report in New Atlas, bees will be able to gain immunity from such sprays if they consume an antidote. Researchers from Cornell University in the United States have come up with just such a detoxifying formula which bees can pick up as they feed, thereby offering them resistance to the sort of insecticides that might otherwise have caused them to die. Could bees gain immunity to insecticides? shutterstock/Maciej Olszewski 10. Dengue fever infections set to fall According to the BBC, a virus spread among mosquitoes as they interact with one another could cause rates of Dengue disease to fall dramatically. A trial took place in Indonesia whereby the virus was introduced into the mosquito population. During it, the infection rate for the condition was found to drop by well over three-quarters. In recent times there have been as many as 400 million Dengue fever infections each year, so it's hoped the technique will now be used in other locations where outbreaks are common. • What was your favourite story from this month? Share your thoughts with the community in the comments below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Nature | Biotechnology | Biology | Positive news Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Is it possible to relieve stress, improve heart health and reap other benefits just by regulating our breath? Sonia Vadlamani explains how conscious breathing can contribute towards better mental and physical health, and how to practise it from the comfort of your home. Breath is vital for life. We’re always breathing, yet it’s something that most of us are barely aware of. However, our natural breathing rhythms can have a substantial impact on how both our body and mind function. Research shows that our breathing patterns change according to the emotions or thoughts we’re experiencing. For example, we tend to draw slow, deeper breaths when we’re happy, resulting in the release of happiness hormones. In contrast, we take sharp, shallow breaths when we’re angry or stressed, activating the stress receptors in the amygdala region in the brain. Indeed, in the current climate of a global pandemic, living with stress and anxiety has become increasingly commonplace, and hence keeping a periodic check on stress levels and devising effective stress management methods is more crucial than ever. Conscious breathing can help to reduce stress shutterstock/UfaBizPhoto What is conscious breathing? As the name suggests, conscious breathing involves bringing awareness towards your breath and then altering it deliberately to achieve a desired outcome. Also known as controlled breathing, conscious breathing can help us recognize our response towards stressors and emotions, enabling us to manage our stress in a better manner, thus preventing conditions like burnout, anxiety and depression. There is ample research that establishes a strong connection between our breathing patterns, pace of breathing and our corresponding thoughts, emotions and behavior. This makes conscious breathing massively effective – modifying the pace of our breathing can slow down our heart rate, modulate stress triggers and enable us to think more rationally. “Conscious breathing can help us recognize our response towards stressors and emotions, enabling us to manage our stress in a better manner.” While conscious breathing may sound like a modern-era invention, recommendations for breath modulation techniques for better health date back to first millennium B.C. Ancient religions like Hinduism and Taoism have advocated breath as an ‘essential life-force’ in the form of prana and qi respectively. Interestingly, yogic practices like pranayama or ‘breath-retention’ utilize controlled breathing techniques for enhancing concentration and vitality. RELATED: Tummo breathing and meditation – a guide Breathing is “meditation for people who can’t meditate”, states Dr Belisa Vranich, the author of the best-selling book Breathe. Indeed, most relaxation therapies and stress-relief techniques utilize breathwork as their anchor, as breathing is the common factor involved in these methods for calming the body and the mind. A simple way to practise conscious breathing Conscious breathing is simple to practise and doesn’t require any specialized equipment. What's more, it can be practised by children and adults alike, from the comfort of their home. However, it’s essential to set aside some time to truly be able to reap the benefits. Here’s a simple mindful breathing practice you can follow with ease: Start by getting into the right posture – seated or lying down – keeping your spine in a neutral position. Place one or both hands on your belly. Inhale slowly and feel the sense of expansion as your breath reaches where your hand is. Hold your breath to a count of 3. You can adjust this duration as per your comfort. Exhale slowly as you feel the belly muscles underneath your hands relaxing. Observe your breath pattern for at least 4 - 10 minutes. During this practice, be sure to engage in diaphragmatic breathing. This involves inhaling deeply as you expand the belly, and then exhaling slowly as you contract the diaphragm and allow the belly to deflate. You can combine conscious breathing with a form of meditation or even restorative yoga to increase its effectiveness. Merging conscious breathing with mindfulness meditation can boost memory power as well. The benefits of conscious breathing Here are some ways in which conscious breathing can improve your quality of life and help you sustain better well-being: 1. Relaxes the nervous system When confronted with danger, our nervous system or sympathetic drive generates a ‘fight-or-flight’ response which can potentially help us rise to face a challenge. However, sometimes the smallest and everyday woes like a traffic jam and impending deadlines begin invoking this involuntary stress response on a continued basis. This can result in immune system suppression or even conditions like depression and anxiety, owing to the excessive stress build-up. • JOIN US! Sign up to learn more about meditation and mindfulness • Resetting our breathing pattern can calm down the nervous system, preventing a perennial sympathetic overdrive condition. Conscious breathing allows activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, or the ‘rest-and-digest’ signal, which enables us to function in a relaxed state. 2. Creates energy boost Conscious breathing involves taking deep, slow breaths as you engage your abdominal muscles and diaphragm, instead of stressing the shoulder and neck areas as most of us are usually habituated to. Engaging respiratory muscles in this manner enables better oxygen supply for the tissues and cells in the body. This increased oxygen reach can make us feel more energized, focused, and can even boost productivity. 3. Helps you focus Sometimes it’s difficult to concentrate on the task at hand or meditate properly because of our inability to focus. Indeed, billboards, constantly buzzing phones and other technological inventions contend for our attention all the time, making it more difficult to be able to concentrate on a single thought or task. Breathing consciously boosts focus and attention Conscious breathing requires us to focus on our breathing pattern, which can help us calm our senses and organize our thought patterns in a productive manner. A 2017 breathing intervention study from Beijing Normal University that involved 40 individuals found that diaphragmatic breathing could enhance sustained attention, in addition to a dip in cortisol (the body's main stress hormone). 4. Relieves muscle tension We tend to hold our breath or draw irregular breaths when we’re tensed or are faced with stress stimuli, which allows our sympathetic nervous drive to kick in. While this response to stress can be helpful in the short-term, drawing shallower and faster breaths can easily become a habitual trait, which may involuntarily result in constant muscle tension, especially in the neck and upper back areas. A 2018 study from Thailand's Khon Kaen University involving female subjects with neck tension and pain complaints found that deep and slow breathing practices reduce muscle tension, pain alleviation, and improved heartrate variability, even in the short run. Progressive muscle relaxation is another therapeutic method prescribed for relieving muscle tension and averting anxiety, with the help of conscious breathing techniques. 5. Enhances emotional wellbeing “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor,” advocated Thích Nhat Hanh, the world-renowned spiritual teacher and mindfulness expert. By calming down our nervous system, conscious breathing offers clarity in thought and enables us to be mindful of our feelings. “There is ample research that establishes a strong connection between our breathing patterns, pace of breathing and our corresponding thoughts, emotions, and behavior.” The idea here is not to eradicate the unpleasant emotional states entirely, but to gradually learn to be aware of them and experience them with self-compassion. This process allows us to respond to our emotions in a productive and helpful manner, thus potentially preventing the tendency to ruminate and improving our emotional wellbeing. 6. Regulates blood pressure Taking a deep breath could help reduce stress and prevent your blood pressure from spiking. Indeed, research suggests that controlled breathing can improve one’s ‘baroreflex sensitivity’, thus regulating blood pressure and preventing hypertension. Conscious breathing can be utilized as a therapeutic approach for boosting heart health and improving vigor. 7. Enables better decision-making Research shows that taking deep and controlled breaths can accelerate vagal nerve activity, thereby improving heart rate variability and lowering stress levels, in addition to aiding better decision-making ability. Indeed, Navy SEALs and chess champions have relied on conscious breathing techniques like ‘box breathing’ to be able to make sound decisions when under stress. RELATED: Uncovering the healing power of the breath In a collaborative study from 2019, researchers from Belgium, France and the Seychelles asked management students to follow the ‘5-2-7 pattern breathing technique’. This method entails inhalation for the count of 5, holding the breath for 2 counts and exhalation for 7 counts. The students carried out the breathing exercise before answering a series of questions in a decision-making test. In addition to facilitating better decision-making, the researchers found that conscious breathing also prevented post-performance stress among the students. 8. Lowers stress and anxiety Research points out that our degree of ‘alertness’, or how ‘awake’ we are, determines the course of action we choose when we are under psychological pressure or in a potentially stressful situation. While being ‘optimally alert’ can improve our mental performance, thus boosting our decision-making ability, alertness beyond the critical point can trigger stress, ultimately hampering performance under duress. Interestingly, conscious breathing tends to modify one’s arousal levels to the ‘optimal or conditioned level’ required for enhanced mental performance, while controlling any further rise in arousal levels, thus keeping stress and anxiety at bay. Round up: conscious breathing In conclusion, the advice to slow down your breath and pay attention to the same is not just a generic suggestion or mere commonsense, but a statement that holds merit. Taking deep, diaphragmatic breaths and focusing on the pace of our breath can impact our body and mind in a positive manner. Acknowledging the power of conscious breathing can be empowering, as it can enable us to draw from our innate wisdom and make headway towards a positive transformation. • Main image: shutterstock/AKSAMIT happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Stress management | Motivation | Burnout Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

With anxiety and depression levels rising in kids, mindfulness and meditation are increasingly being employed by parents. Here are 7 of the best mindfulness books for kids on the market that can instill these two essential life skills, keeping children calm and centered. By Ann Vrlak. Would you like to introduce mindfulness to your child, but aren’t sure where to start? It has been wonderful to see the explosion of interest in mindfulness for kids – in schools and in homes all around the world. There is a growing body of research that shows how simple mindfulness practices – tailored for children – can help kids learn invaluable skills they can use their whole lives, like how to: Self-regulate emotions Improve self-esteem and confidence Relax when you’re stressed or worried Concentrate better Treat yourself with kindness and compassion Increase empathy With this impressive list, it’s no surprise that schools are incorporating some form of mindfulness exercises in elementary and high school classes. Furthermore, many parents want to know how to teach mindfulness themselves, to help their children navigate everyday stresses and conflicts, and to learn tools to relax or take a pause if they feel upset. There are so many books about mindfulness for kids to choose from. I’ve done the work for you by choosing my seven absolute favorites. They’re all also five-star rated by the parents and kids I’ve recommended them to. Storybooks Storybooks are one great style of mindfulness book that explain concepts to children. Here are three of the best that are currently on the market: 1. Moody Cow Meditates | Kerry Lee MacLean Peter the calf has a “stupid, rotten day when everything went wrong.” He woke up with a bad dream, his sister drew on his skateboard, and the day just goes downhill from there. He is so upset and angry his sister names him “Moody Cow” which just makes things worse! Moody Cow Meditates is one of the best mindfulness books for kids because it describes the kind of day we all can have when nothing goes right and no one seems to be on your side! Peter visits his wise grandfather who shows him how to create a mindfulness jar: he adds sparkles to a jar of clear water for each angry thought he has and then shakes the jar. RELATED: The benefits of meditation for kids His grandfather explains how the agitated, cloudy water is like his agitated mind, full of thoughts. And as the water settles down, and the sparkles settle, it’s just like when you calm down again and can see things more clearly. Grandfather gently takes Peter through the mindfulness jar practice from his upset mind to a quiet place. 2. Visiting Feelings | Lauren Rubenstein Visiting Feelings is a book that also looks at how to be with emotions in a healthy way. Rubenstein encourages kids, through gorgeous illustrations, to treat their feelings like unexpected visitors. How tall is this feeling? What colour and shape is it? Is it warm or cold? By asking these kinds of questions, the author is encouraging kids to observe feelings at arm’s length, to be curious about them, instead of thinking that something is wrong. Make friends with feelings, she says, and listen to what they have to tell you. “There is a growing body of research that shows how simple mindfulness practices – tailored for children – can help kids learn invaluable skills they can use their whole lives.” Rubenstein also gently asks kids to notice where feelings live in their body – another traditional adult practice of noticing the physical qualities of an emotion – like a knot in your stomach, that give you a concrete place to begin exploring the emotion. There is a “Note to Parents” in the back of the book about emotional intelligence and tips on how to help children link mindfulness to emotions. 3. Take the time: Mindfulness for Kids | Maud Roegiers This lovely mindfulness book for children has a powerful message: if you’re feeling bad, do something small to feel better. Be with your friends, feel the cold air on your cheeks, or do something you love. And, whether we’re five years old or 50, when we’re feeling sad or upset, we often feel like we have to fix something or do something complicated to feel better. Focusing instead on small, simple pleasures that are always around us if we take time to look, is a tool of health and well-being your child can nurture throughout their life. The beautiful, heartwarming illustrations in Take the Time... bring the story to life. 4. Zen Shorts | Jon J. Muth This is one of Muth’s delightful mindfulness for children books that features the wise panda, Stillwater. Zen Shorts begins with a large, panda suddenly appearing in Michael, Karl and Addy’s back yard. He’s a mysterious fellow and a storyteller who soon has the children entranced with classic meditation stories put into kids’ language: someone who shows compassion for a robber and the man who says, “Maybe” to a whole series of life events that everyone assumes are “good” or “bad.” Kids also love Zen Happiness, Zen Socks and other books by Muth. Books with mindfulness exercises for kids Each of the following great books has sections explaining the principles and benefits of mindfulness for children, teaching tips and lots of specific mindfulness exercises you can do with your children. 5. Planting Seeds: Practicing Mindfulness with Children | Thich Nhat Hanh and the Plum Village Community This book by beloved Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh shines with love and respect for children, and how to nurture their growth through simple meditation practices. Hanh talks about meditation as a way to plant the seeds of self-awareness, relaxing through breath, recognizing your connection to nature, nurture compassion and community, embrace emotions – and more. All the ideas are accompanied by simple, engaging exercises kids can do on their own or with a guide – and many are included on an accompanying CD. RELATED: Thich Nhat Hanh – his life in quotes and teachings My personal favourite to do with kids is the Pebble Meditation. Kids gather four pebbles to represent a flower, mountain, still water and space, and use them in a meditation to emulate each of their qualities: “Fresh like a flower... Solid like a mountain.” This meditation, and others, builds on kids’ imagination and ability to embody positive and resilient states. Every chapter in Planting Seeds is grounded in caring for children, and encouragement to explore their inner and outer world with kindness for their own sake and the sake of all beings. 6. Child’s Mind: Mindfulness Practices to Help Our Children be More Focused, Calm and Relaxed | Christopher Willard This is an excellent mindfulness book for kids if you would like to know more about the psychological applications of meditation for children – for everyday challenges and for kids who are troubled by chronic anxiety or depression. Willard is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist with a deep experience with mindfulness and meditation. He talks about meditation’s effect on kids’ mental, emotional and physical well-being in easy to understand language, and how parents can use mindfulness to help their children overcome difficulties. “ If you’d like to explore the world of mindfulness books for kids, all of these titles will give you and your child an experienced, caring and fun place to start.” Child's Mind features a creative range of mindfulness practices like The Universe in a Raisin; Hugging Meditation; Everyday Mindfulness, Everyday Games; and, Homesickness Meditation. All encourage kids to mindfully and gently explore what’s happening for them. I use many of his exercises with my young mindfulness students for the balanced way he shows kids how to accept and honour their own feelings, and how to do mindful things to feel better. RELATED: The benefits of meditation for kids 7. Sitting Still Like a Frog: Mindfulness Exercises for Kids (and Their Parents) | Eline Snel If you’d like a short, approachable book about why mindfulness is a great skill for kids, read Sitting Still Like a Frog. Each chapter in the book explains a mindfulness concept or skill, and includes one or two exercises for kids to practice with. Some of the concepts Snel explains are Training your Attention Muscle, Weathering the Storm Inside and The Conveyor Belt of Worries. She uses imagery to great effect to help kids relate to their feelings, thoughts and experiences in entertaining, mindful ways. RELATED: 6 secrets to raising happy children Snel also includes short exercises parents can use with everyday routines, like meals and bedtime. She makes all the concepts fun and has a warm way of communicating. This book also includes a CD with many of the best guided practices. There is also an accompanying activity book with 75 mindfulness games. The takeaway: best mindfulness books for kids So, if you’d like to explore the world of mindfulness books for kids, all of these titles will give you and your child an experienced, caring and fun place to start. The books don’t just talk about mindfulness, they embody mindfulness in the way they talk about children and their needs, and the way they talk to kids in the stories and exercises. Most of these authors have more than one book, so you and your family can enjoy them together for a long time to come. • Main image: shutterstock/Tatiana Bobkova happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Meditation | Family activities Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Different cultures value different things — and that matters for happiness. By Kira M. Newman on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. When a new psychology study comes out, its findings — gratitude makes people happy! meditating can boost your mood! — are often taken as truth about humanity as a whole. But in recent years, researchers have pointed out that much of psychology research involves participants who are WEIRD: Western, Educated, and from Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic countries. Why is that a problem? Because it could be the case that the insights we’re learning about how to live happy, meaningful lives privilege one group’s experiences — and they may not be as useful to people from other cultures and socioeconomic backgrounds. RELATED: How to live a meaningful life – 10 insights A new study surveyed people in five regions around the world to see if the factors that influenced their happiness might be different. The discrepancies that the researchers found lend support to concerns that our current knowledge about well-being isn’t as universal as we might think. “The implicit claim in previous research that ‘one size fits all’ is probably incorrect,” write Bruce Headey and his colleagues at the DIW Berlin research institute. Values and happiness The study was based on the World Values Survey, which surveyed hundreds of thousands of people around the world from 1999 to 2014. The researchers decided to focus on five regions: Western countries, including the United States, Britain, Australia, Spain, and others; Latin America; Asian-Confucian countries: Hong Kong, Japan, South Korea, Singapore, and Taiwan; Ex-communist countries: Russia and Eastern Europe; and Communist countries: China and Vietnam. People in each region reported on their values and priorities in life — the things that matter most to them. These included: Traditional family values: The importance of family, as well as helping people who live nearby and caring for their needs. Friendship and leisure values: The importance of friendship and leisure. Materialistic values: Believing it’s important to be rich, successful, and recognized for your achievements. Political values: The importance of politics. Prosocial values: Believing it’s important to do something for the good of society and look after the environment. Religious values: The importance of religion and God. The researchers then compared how people rated the importance of these values to how satisfied they felt about their lives. Friendship ranks highly on the global happiness list The results suggest that some values may be more universally important to well-being than others. In all five regions, people who highly valued family, friendship/leisure, and prosociality tended to be more satisfied with life. But the results for materialism, politics, and religion were more complicated. People with stronger political values were more satisfied with life in communist countries, where “good citizens are supposed to be politically active” within the limits laid out by the state, explains Headey. This was also true to a lesser extent in the West. Meanwhile, in ex-communist Russia and Eastern Europe, people who cared more deeply about politics were less happy. This may be due to the “disillusionment with politics” in those countries, after the fall of communism. “In all five regions [of the study], people who highly valued family, friendship/leisure, and prosociality tended to be more satisfied with life.” People who placed more importance on religion tended to be happier in the West, Latin America, and the Asian-Confucian countries. But they were less satisfied with life if they were living in the communist and ex-communist regions. As the researchers speculate, this may be because communist governments tend to be hostile to religion, and people in ex-communist countries may still be suffering the long-term effects of that. Materialism, a value that’s long been assumed to make us unhappy, actually went hand in hand with life satisfaction in Eastern Europe. It was only in the wealthier Western and Asian-Confucian countries where materialists tended to be less satisfied. In Latin America and the Communist countries, being materialistic didn’t seem to matter to life satisfaction. Happiness and conformity Why might some values be beneficial everywhere, whereas others only seem helpful in certain cultures? The researchers suggest that people may be happier when their personal values align with the societal and governmental norms in their country. In other words, some values may benefit us not in and of themselves, but because they give us a sense of belonging and make it easier for us to navigate the world. These findings also help make sense of a paradox in happiness research — the fact that some regions (like Latin America) are much happier than their gross domestic product (GDP) would predict, while others (like Eastern Europe) are much less happy. RELATED: Happiness in different cultures Examining the values people hold could help explain these discrepancies. In Eastern Europe, for example, the researchers found that many people rated all the different values as relatively unimportant, a recipe for unhappiness. In Latin America, people’s strong family and religious ties seemed to bring them a great deal of satisfaction. Though they aimed to be more inclusive, the researchers didn’t have access to surveys from sub-Saharan Africa or Muslim countries in the Middle East and Asia — which means this picture of well-being is still incomplete. But it does point to a provocative idea: that the path to happiness isn’t the same everywhere, and what works for you may depend on the society and culture in which you live. • Main image: Unsplash/Yusron El Jihan What factors play a bit part in influencing your happiness? How much do you think your local culture affects that? Share your thoughts with the community below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Family activities | Work life balance Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish them with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu