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  1. Music Is the food for the soul ...music releases stress and also heals the heart that's my little experience
  2. I have a lot of problems sleeping lately. That is stress-related and has to be worked out through cognitive-behavioral analysis I suppose.
  3. For me it was really a hard time. Internally I have always rejected propaganda and man-made activities, so I got myself into a really huge stress.
  4. Hey there. I notice resistance show up in me when things are not going the way I had expected them to be. A plan goes array, I struggle with a problem, etc, etc. In those moments, I notice that it manifests as a tension in my through and chest. My breath is tight and not as deep. In the past, I tended to just try and plow through the emotions, but after mindfulness practices, I find that am able to turn towards my experience with more curiosity and kindness. I really find the RAIN practice a useful tool for on the go emotional ups and downs.
  5. Can being curious potentially make us smarter, more innovative and happier? Sonia Vadlamani throws light on the rewards of being inquisitive and discusses ideas for staying curious throughout our lives. We are all born curious, but oddly the ‘episodes of curiosity’ common in kids pertaining to asking questions and observing objects intently dwindles as we age. As a matter of fact, children are known to be incredibly inquisitive and are often seen exploring new things around them, for no other reason than to know or understand more. However, as we grow older, we tend to gradually lose this appetite for curious pursuits. William James, a renowned philosopher and psychologist, defined curiosity as “the impulse towards better cognition”. Interestingly Ian Leslie, author of the acclaimed bestseller Curious, describes curiosity as the unique amalgamation of “intelligence, determination and a hunger for novelty,” in the sense that it drives us towards discovering what we do not already know. Curiosity constitutes a fundamental element of our cognition, and thus is essential for our learning motivation, decision-making as well as healthy development. Indeed, a part of our fading curiosity as we age can be ascribed to a phenomenon known as ‘brain economy’. As we continue to learn, the brain works on building and reinforcing neural pathways and energy-saving shortcuts so that we don’t have to expend mental energy for repetitive tasks. However, researchers agree that it is important to stay curious as we grow older, despite increasing demands being put on our time. Why does staying curious matter? Research suggests that staying curious can improve our learning mechanisms and enhance brain plasticity, as the more curious we are about a topic, the likelier we are to remember it well. For instance, while chemistry seemed like a daunting subject to several of my classmates, I remember being fascinated by it. For example, how can potassium be called a metal yet be soft enough to cut with a knife? It was intriguing and fun to draw out answers and understand ions, bonds and chemical reactions. Indeed, I reckon it was my curiosity that made me receptive to grasping my chemistry lessons with ease and remembering the details without much effort. Stay curious through lifelong learning Being passionately curious allows us to develop an abundance mindset, as it propels us towards learning and applying these new learnings in daily life, sparking growth and innovation. Staying curious can also help us shun our prejudices and bridge our differences, thus lowering anxiety and strengthening our social connections. A 2014 study by Vincent D Costa et al also pointed out that our brains trigger higher dopamine levels when we are not familiar with the stimulus and the reward is unknown to us (rather than when we are aware of the stimulus and the rewards). So, acquiring new information or performing newer tasks that answer our curiosity can improve dopamine release, which, in turn, can offer a quick mood boost, improve our decision-making abilities and even prevent health conditions like Parkinson’s disease and depression. 8 ways to stay curious Curiosity is akin to a mental muscle that can weaken if we don’t exercise it often. That’s why we need to make it a habit to flex it and stay curious on a consistent basis. Read on to discover eight ways to reignite your inner inquisitive spark. 1. Ask questions relentlessly Carl Jung, eminent psychiatrist and the founder of analytic psychology, described the ability to ask questions as “the greatest resource in learning the truth”. Indeed, there are no dumb, silly, small or big questions, as each question can unlock a conversation and every answer can present a fresh insight for you or others. Always carrying a notebook makes it easier for you to quickly jot down topics which spur your interest and questions you’d like to pursue next. 2. Step out of your comfort zone Staying in our comfort zone is undoubtedly convenient, especially since we humans are hardwired to choose familiarity over uncertainty. However, staying within our safety bubble stifles creativity and often harbors discontentment, leaving us feeling bored in life. RELATED: Why we should all start embracing the unknown In fact, living more adventurually and replacing fear of the unfamiliar with a healthy curiosity is what some great artists do differently. Indeed, staying curious and open to new experiences can help us welcome newer perspectives, let go of the past and rediscover our purpose in life. 3. Nurture a wide range of interests “Creativity doesn’t happen in a void,” observed Ian Leslie. It has been reported that successful artists and philosophers like Leonardo da Vinci and Aristotle were curious to the extent of accumulating vast amounts of knowledge which they could recall readily when needed. Leslie further points out that this reservoir of learnings allowed them to “mix and remix ideas and themes, making new analogies and spot unusual patterns” that ultimately steered them towards creative breakthroughs. “Curiosity is akin to a mental muscle that can weaken if we don’t exercise it often. That’s why we need to make it a habit to flex it and stay curious on a consistent basis.” However, it is also important to train yourself to be the expert in a niche of your interest. Developing an informed perspective on a wide variety of subjects would allow you to possess a valuable expanse of knowledge. Furthermore, diversifying your interests will enable you to tap into your intuition with greater ease and thus make better decisions. This will also put you in a better position to specialize in areas which align with your goals and purpose. 4. Gain new perspectives While it can’t be denied that we tend to get more comfortable with our own perspectives and viewpoints over time, it can be immensely rewarding to learn to change perspective and examine events and actions from the viewpoint of others. RELATED: Changing perspective and gaining happiness Leslie defines this as ‘empathic curiosity’, wherein he encourages us to put ourselves in other people’s shoes and analyze why they react in a certain manner and make certain choices. Gaining a different perspective in this way can help us stay curious, as well as improve our happiness levels. 5. Cultivate awe every day There are several reasons why awe makes your life better, the ability to stay curious being one of the benefits. A study by Craig L Anderson et al revealed a positive relationship between dispositional awe in people and their curiosity levels. The findings concurred that those who experience awe more often are more likely to stay curious and learn at a faster pace. It is possible to incorporate awe into our daily life, and not just feel it when we listen to a beautifully composed piece of music or making a trip that was always on the bucket list. Slowing down and lingering, being mindful, reconnecting with nature and questioning the things we always overlooked are some of the ways to look for daily experiences of awe, and gradually re-instill curiosity. Travel keeps you curious and is awe-inspiring shutterstock/GaudiLab 6. Look at learning as a privilege and fun “It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education,” Albert Einstein famously stated. Learning is often seen as a cumbersome task or something that we need to participate in for better grades or a promotion. However, studies show that staying curious makes learning effective and more enjoyable, enabling us to be motivated to achieve new milestones. Additionally, redefining learning as a stress-free and pleasurable activity leads to enhanced activity in the amygdala region of the brain and increased release of dopamine, resulting in greater retention. 7. Meet other curious people often Brian Grazer, the prominent TV producer, recommends meeting other interesting people and having what he calls “curiosity conversations”. Remember that positive communication is the key to holding meaningful, intriguing interactions, and building lasting friendships. Consulting different people about their interests and opinions can introduce us to new learnings and fresh interests, thus rekindling curiosity within us. 8. Look inward Turning your curiosity inwards can help you understand yourself better and thus set more realistic goals for yourself. Spare 5-10 minutes each day to practise attentive self-reflection while you withhold your emotions, and observe and understand your reaction to various stimuli, fears, thoughts, attachment styles, moods, etc. “Turning curiosity inwards can help you understand yourself better and thus set more realistic goals for yourself.” Staying curious towards yourself can help you find self-validation, and observe kindness and empathy towards yourself, just like you’d do for a friend. Looking inward can also enable you to resolve a troublesome pattern that may be preventing you from living your best possible life, like bottled up resentment that you need to let go of, or a habit of indecisiveness that you need to change. Takeaway: staying curious Curiosity is listed as an essential cognitive need in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, which underlines its importance in the way we define our purpose, make our choices and pursue goals. Rekindling the desire to know and cultivating the practice of staying curious can help us lead a life with meaning, adventure and happiness. • Main image: shutterstock/Dragon Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Learning | Altruism | Compassion | Motivation Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.
  6. I read that too. Great book - though I was a bit intimidated by the size of it. ? Are the traits similar to the nine attitudes of mindfulness tought in MBSR?
  7. Old age can last half a century, says physician Louise Aronson, so it needs a better definition — and more praise. By Jenara Nerenberg on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. What do you think of when you think of “old age?” Maybe you think of it as your time of decline — something to be avoided at all costs. Many of us imagine the few short years just before our death, rather than the long stretch of time often available to explore new interests and relationships and activities. Author and physician Louise Aronson wants to change that. In her new book, Elderhood, she argues that old age or “elderhood” is a much richer, more nuanced experience than most people understand, and that treating it like an illness or pathology is the wrong approach. She believes people need to embrace elderhood as another normal phase of life — just like childhood and adulthood — with its own challenges and rewards. By reclaiming the narrative around older age, she hopes to not only support elders, but to impact family life, health, research, policy, and society as a whole. In our interview, we discuss this and more, including how to shift our attitudes around aging and what happiness looks like in elderhood. Jenara Nerenberg: How do you define elderhood? What does the term mean to you? Louise Aronson: I define elderhood as one of the three main phases of life — what comes after childhood and adulthood. It captures the years that begin between ages 60-70 and continue until a person’s death. And if a person lives until the age of 100, then that means elderhood lasts almost half a century. Human civilizations from the ancient Greeks and Romans to the early Chinese and Egyptians have been defining old age beginning between 60-70. Because people don’t like hearing that it starts so young, they’ve pushed that to the extreme, whereby people think of “old” as a debilitating phase that only lasts the very few short years right before death. RELATED: Planning a healthy retirement: stress relief tips for seniors JN: So what is the narrative shift or change in public conversation that you’d like to see happen regarding aging and elderhood? LA: Part of why I wanted to introduce the term elderhood to a wider audience — I did not make it up — was so that we would begin thinking about elderhood the way we think about childhood and adulthood. “Old age” absent the term elderhood is the subject of a lot of prejudice and bias, so we end up with phrases like “silver tsunami” and “no one wants to be old” or “aging is life’s great disaster.” By reframing it as this long phase of life with multiple sub-phases — just like childhood and adulthood — we take a broader approach and we can look at it as a society and community, and not just as individuals. So, right now having “old” be devalued, with everyone being meant to face it on their own, we hear questions like “can we cure aging?” Why are we treating something that is normal and natural and that has always existed as pathology? Louise Aronson and her book Elderhood (Bloomsbury Publishing, 2019) Now, are there things that come with aging that we would feel much better without? Sure. But we don’t tend to pathologize other entire phases of life. Take adolescence. We recognize that there are behaviors that adolescents are more likely to do that are not good for them or society, but we don’t necessarily say we should get rid of adolescents the way that people often talk about older people. “Let’s go house them somewhere separately, let’s not think about them, let’s build a world for children and adults and then blame older people when that world doesn’t match with their needs or interests.” JN: What compelled you to write the book now? LA: There’s more and more out there about age, and there’s so much good stuff; but I felt like the most well-intentioned material was still insulting old age and old people by saying, “Old is only how you feel, 70 is the new 50, 100 is the new 70.” All these things are saying that being old is never in and of itself a good thing or a desirable thing and by extension people who are old are never good people or desirable people. I didn’t like that. “Now, are there things that come with aging that we would feel much better without? Sure. But we don’t tend to pathologize other entire phases of life.” I also didn’t see anything that pulled together all the different ways in which we’re addressing aging — culturally, medically, socially, historically. We tend to think we’re doing all these novel, innovative things with aging, and although some of the specifics differ, human thoughts and approaches about old age are pretty much the same as what we have in evidence from 2,000 to 5,000 years ago. The attempt to understand and adapt to aging is a very human task and such history shows how important these questions are and how existential they are. JN: What changes would you like to see within academia and medicine to reflect the needs of elder people? LA: In medicine, we tend to say that such and such population — children, women, people of color, old people — is somehow different from “the norm,” defining the “norm” as middle-aged white guys, because that’s who was doing medicine. Medical research has begun to acknowledge that children aren’t just variations of adults, and women aren’t just variations of men, and people of color aren’t just variations of white people. We need to recognize that being old is as different from being an adult as an adult is from being a child. We change throughout our lives. For example, with vaccine schedules, we have different schedules for adults and children because of different biology and behaviors. Well, biology and behaviors also change from age 75 onward. Even in diseases that primarily affect older people, the research at best will be on the younger range of older people. So, we say that older people are different, and yet we apply results from people different than them to them. Then we blame bad outcomes on old age rather than on what it was — a scientific setup that was destined to fail or hurt people because it didn’t study the target population adequately. JN: Do you think there’s a different conception of happiness that emerges during elderhood? LA: That’s such a good question. Most people are shocked to learn that happiness and life satisfaction go way up just before 60 and continuing into the 80s. So people who are older are much happier than adults in midlife, on average. On average people get happier, and part of that has to do with a real comfort with self and confidence in one’s priorities so that people are more focused on spending time in ways they value and on spending time with people that they value. So their life becomes positive and self-reinforcing. Another thing that was just reported this year is that older people generally rate their health pretty good. They look around at other people and generally conclude that, yes, their health is better than they thought it would be. So some of this is about having perspective, which takes decades, and also a comfort with who you are and where you are. “Most people are shocked to learnt that happiness and life satisfaction go way up just before 60 and continuing into the 80s.” And when you think about things like meditation and mindfulness and retreats and such, these are the things that elders are best at naturally. So it’s really interesting that we have this untapped population group that are doing the exact things that so many adults are hungry for and yet adults still disparage the very group that is living the things they wish for themselves. JN: How can younger generations be more supportive in helping to shift the elderhood narrative? LA: I think it has to be bidirectional because we have so much to learn from each other. There are increasing reports of old people giving relationship, career, and love advice to younger people and then younger people giving advice on tech and things like that. Everybody has their strengths, and I think the best relationships are the ones that work in both directions. RELATED: What teens gain when they contribute to social groups More and more older people are working, exercising, doing all these things we consider “normal activities.” Part of that is cultural change and reminds me of when my mother was in school and they played basketball. They weren’t allowed to go past half court because their “frail” female bodies would be “adversely affected” and they’d have trouble “bearing children.” We have these prejudices, so we really need to push against them. I’d like to see young people thinking about what they can learn, what they can give, and what they’ll want to do [when they are older]. How do they want to be treated? Do they want to be warehoused and ignored or do they want to be engaged? Because chances are they’ll want to do the same things they do now. They’ll want to be engaged, have sex, go out to dinner, and hear who they’re talking to. So how do you build a world that is set up for all of us throughout our lives, from childhood to adulthood and elderhood? That’s an exciting challenge that has so much exciting potential for innovation — not just in science and medicine but in tech, art, culture, and society. Whatever anybody is doing, this is the growing segment of the population and they are eager to partner with younger people to make the world better for aging. ● Main image: shutterstock/vectorfusionart Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. Happiness.com is honoured to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu
  8. I was looking for things to help manage the stress from CO-VID-19. It is hard with working from home and worrying about my family. I found two books that have helped me to deal with the stress. I put them below.How to Stop Worrying and Start LivingReduce Anxiety and Discover True HappinessWhat books have helped you? I love reading and would be interested in other mental health books recommended.Thanksjerome
  9. I am here to be of service. The world right now can be frightening and cold. In the last 5 years I've lost multiple friends/co-workers to depression and in those instances I felt I could have done more. Well, there's no time like the present. I started my YouTube channel to help anyone who is dealing with anxiety or stress and also those who are looking to get into mediation, need help getting to sleep, and general relaxation. My videos aren't complex. At all. That's purposefully done because I am a minimalist and I believe the best way to clear the mind is simple sounds and simple images that calm the nerves and senses. The videos have helped my as I venture back into my meditation practices and I hope they provide the same use for others. I am very happy to offer, what I feel is, a very small contribution to the universe that can potentially restore, change or even save lives.
  10. Totally! Stress builds up in our neck, shoulders etc, so that's why people go to have a massage. To relieve it. The power of touch is also very relaxing
  11. I've never had a professional one, but if you focus on the massage, you can let go the stress.
  12. Do you see your sisters as competitors, or why do you stress yourself? If you are looking for alone time and space, you could go outside, enjoy the weather, visit a lake or what ever relaxes you. Maybe some friends from your school would like to join you, if you ask them.
  13. Why do we feel stressed when we feel angry and not when we feel happy. Why does stress go down when we are near a beach or a beautiful location? Stress is actually directly related to the uncontrolled amount of thoughts that occur in your mind. The states of anger etc are negative states which triggers more and more thoughts coming to your mind. Where as when you are happy or in a beautiful location very less number of thoughts are triggered in your mind. So we need to find a way to effortlessly control the amount of unnecessary thoughts that comes to our mind.
  14. I struggle with finding my happiness because I stress myself a lot. I have a mess ton of siblings and not much alone time so it’s very nice to have someone like a friend to connect with. I hope we become great friends.
  15. Hello, you might like to try the happiness Academy MBSR course? It's free and gives a great introduction to meditation and mindfulness ?
  16. Here are some research-based guidelines to help people overcome their vaccine hesitancy. By JILL SUTTIE on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. People are lining up to be vaccinated against COVID-19 – and they’re looking forward to resuming a normal life. However, not everyone is on board with vaccination. Though the number of vaccine hesitaters may be diminishing in the United States, it’s still relatively high compared to many other countries. Vaccine hesitaters are not a monolith, but a diverse group with many reasons for avoiding vaccination. Some are concerned the COVID-19 vaccines aren’t safe or that potential side effects aren’t worth the risk of taking them. Others think the risk of getting COVID themselves is low; so, why bother? Still others have a resistance to government intervention and see taking the vaccine as capitulation to government overreach and a bane to personal freedoms. A small number are simply opposed to all vaccines. The fact that people have varying reasons for not getting vaccinated can make it more difficult to get everyone one board, and that affects us all. Without sufficient numbers of people becoming vaccinated, we won’t reach “herd immunity.” That means the pandemic could continue indefinitely. So, how can we help people overcome their resistance to being vaccinated? While science has no sure-fire answer to this dilemma, research suggests that some approaches may be better than others and could be worth trying – especially if people are on the fence rather than anti-vaccines, in general. Here is some of what the science says about approaching someone who is vaccine-hesitant. 1. Listen to their concerns – and empathize While our first inclination to vaccine resistors may be to chastise them or come at them with an arsenal of facts, that’s likely to be ineffective. Instead, we should first listen to people’s concerns without judgment, so we can better address their needs, says Heidi Larson, founding director of the Vaccine Confidence Project at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine. “If you make a lot of assumptions about what people are thinking, then people get annoyed, because your intervention is not relevant to them,” she says. “It’s important to really listen and understand, because maybe somebody has a very reasonable concern and just needs some clear information.” Vaccinations are on the rise but some people are still uncertain Research in health care settings suggests that showing empathy can help encourage vaccine adherence, because it increases trust in the messenger. In Larson’s recent book, Stuck: Why Vaccine Rumors Start and Why They Won’t Go Away, she advises a more understanding view around vaccine hesitancy. Approach people with respect and dignity, even if you disagree with them. To express empathy, you might say something like this: “It’s understandable that you would have questions about the vaccines. There’s a lot of conflicting information out there. What have you heard?” Making people feel like their concerns matter and are not being dismissed can lower their defenses and help them to listen better themselves. 2. Supply clear information relevant to people’s concerns… but not too much In some cases, it may help to provide information addressing someone’s concerns from an unbiased resource, such as the Centers for Disease Control or the World Health Organization. Though not everyone will be open to that, those who are may appreciate the straightforward information. Alternatively, if you feel your friend or family member trusts you to give them the straight story, you may want to summarize findings rather than provide detailed studies. For example, a relative of mine recently expressed concern about the vaccine being “fast-tracked” without sufficient testing of its safety. For her, it made sense to explain why the vaccines were developed so quickly (because of prior work creating vaccines for similar viruses and international cooperation) as well as how safe they are – something many people may not know. “Vaccine hesitaters are a diverse group. The fact that people have varying reasons for not getting vaccinated can make it more difficult to get everyone one board, and that affects us all.” However, overwhelming them with too much information could backfire. When presented with multiple counterarguments to their strongly held views, people tend to take on an adversarial stance, spending energy poking holes in your thesis, says researcher Adam Grant. It’s probably better to point someone to one strong argument rather than a slew of scientific studies. Still, people tend to pay attention to information that supports their preconceived notions and ignore contrary information (what researchers call confirmation bias) or give negative news more credence than good news (negativity bias). While helping people understand how these biases work can sometimes make them more open to changing their views, this might be hard to get across in an everyday conversation about vaccines. Instead, it might help to simply acknowledge how hard it is to sort through new information when dealing with fear and anxiety, while still reinforcing the importance of vaccines. “This is a dynamic and changing space, and we don’t have all the answers; so, we need to be understanding about the uncertainty people feel,” says Larson. “At the same time, we need to remind people COVID is not over, and if you’re vaccinated, you’re clearly in a better place than if you’re not.” 3. Consider finding a better messenger When faced with disaster, many of us will tend to cling to our identity groups for a sense of safety and support. Unfortunately, that can lead to “groupthink,” where people discredit information from someone outside of their group – even if it’s true – helping to spread vaccine hesitancy within groups. In the United States, larger percentages of Republicans, white evangelical Christians, and people of colour remain unvaccinated, in part because of group distrust of government or science – or because they lack concern about the virulence of COVID-19. If you are not a member of one of these groups, and you’re trying to convince people who are to take the vaccine, you might be doing them a disservice trying to convey pro-vaccine messages. Vaccine hesitaters are a diverse group shutterstock/Prostock-studio For example, one recent study found that Republicans who were hesitant about vaccinations were more willing to change their minds if they heard pro-vaccine messaging from Republican figures – and were less willing if the message came from Democrats. Large-scale surveys of Black and Latino communities suggest it may be better to point people of color to pro-vaccine messengers within their social-identity groups – a trusted doctor, pastor, or public figure within that community, who likely understands their worldview and has some clout. Larson mentions that, in Britain, Bangladeshi chefs and restaurant owners got involved in putting out pro-vaccine messages to increase vaccination rates in their community. In the U.S., group influencers, including African American barbers and health professionals, have been encouraging Black people to get vaccinated. Even Donald Trump has become a pro-vaccine messenger. Pointing to influential others may help people overcome their resistance, if they relate to the messenger. 4. Appeal to people’s altruism and common humanity Some of the unvaccinated are afraid or balk at being told what to do, but appealing to their care for others may help overcome their hesitancy. In a study by Larson and colleagues, researchers interviewed 8,000 people in the USA and UK to better understand their views on the vaccine. While the study focused primarily on the influence of misinformation on vaccination rates – and, sadly, showed that it increased hesitancy – the researchers also found that people were 6 per cent more willing to get vaccinated if they were told it protected others in addition to protecting themselves. This mirrored earlier studies that found considering others’ safety increased willingness to wear masks and take health precautions. “When presented with multiple counterarguments to their strongly held views, people tend to take on an adversarial stance. It’s probably better to point someone to one strong argument rather than a slew of scientific studies.” Appealing to our shared vulnerability may also be important, says Larson, as a continuing pandemic thwarts goals everyone shares – like reopening businesses and strengthening our weakened economy. If we can tie mass vaccination into people’s sense of unity and common purpose, it could make a dent in vaccine resistance. “One of the things about COVID vaccines, which is very different from childhood vaccines, is that it matters to everybody,” says Larson. “It’s not just about you. We’ve got to do this together.” 5. If nothing works, set boundaries Given the importance of getting everyone vaccinated, it’s not surprising that people find it hard to talk to someone who resists. Even following Larson’s and others’ advice, you may not be able to move someone you care about, and that could cause bad feelings between you. For example, John (an alias) got vaccinated as soon as he was eligible, but members of his extended family refused the vaccine. When many of them became sick and his vaccine-resistant uncle died from COVID-19, John felt both grief and fury at his family. “I flat-out refused to attend my uncle’s wake and service because there would be so many unvaccinated, mask-resisting people flying there from all over the country,” he says. While his stance may not have moved any of his relatives to change their minds, it was self-protective, and that’s important, too, says Larson. When you’re in a highly emotional state, that may not be the best time to talk to someone about their hesitancy in an open, neutral way, or to present them with facts and figures. Also, if unvaccinated friends and family ask you to be in their company, for whatever reason, you should feel perfectly fine refusing, says Larson. “I wouldn’t be shy about saying, ‘It’s your choice about vaccinating, but for me, I don’t want to take the risk,’” she says. On the other hand, she says, we can take hope in the fact that people may change their minds on their own. As unvaccinated people face more restrictions – or find friends and relatives leaving them out of activities – that may be more impactful than any particular message you can give them. “We’re going to get to a point where there will be things that people can’t do if they’re not vaccinated,” she says. “People may get so frustrated they’ll just want to go around whatever is preventing them from getting vaccinated – without worrying about explanations.” • Main image: flickr/Phil Roeder happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Deep listening | Altruism | Communication skills Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish them with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu
  17. Contemplation isn't tied in with turning into an alternate individual, a renewed individual, or even a superior individual. It's tied in with preparing in mindfulness and getting a solid feeling of viewpoint. You're making an effort not to kill your contemplations or sentiments. You're figuring out how to notice them without judgment. Furthermore, at last, you may begin to all the more likely comprehend them too.
  18. Imagine a world with fairly distributed wealth and a happy, enriched workforce. These are two of the aims of Buddhist economics. Ed Gould delves into the background of this economic model and asks whether it can ever become a reality. Economic life may be something that seems out of our control. Indeed, the forces of macroeconomics can appear akin to a tsunami that individuals can do little about. And yet, even an enormous wave is made up of single drops of water. Individuals can decide how they spend, save and deal with the world from a financial point of view. Essentially, Buddhist economics looks at finances from a spiritual and ethical angle. Economics is studied from the standpoint of human psychology and how natural emotive reactions can direct a range of economic activities. So, what exactly is Buddhist economics? One Sri Lankan economist has described a Buddhist economic system as something that “has its foundations in the development of a co-operative and harmonious effort”. Writing in 1976, Neville Karunatilake said that the ideal place to operate in this way was within a “group living” setting. Perhaps building on the ashram idea of communal living espoused by Gandhi, Tolstoy and others, this approach would lead to a diminished level of “selfishness and acquisitive pursuits” which might have been seen in the days the Buddhist king Ashoka's rule. Referring back to a pre-industrial time, many classically trained economists might easily miss the point of what Buddhist economics can mean for the 21st-century world. However, as we shall see, Buddhist ideas about economics have developed throughout the world over the last few decades. This is partly because people are increasingly aware of the fragility of the global financial system and because of the destructive nature of many industrial processes which harm the planet. In an attempt to address these issues, some economists have tried to look at the principles behind Buddhist ethical teachings and apply them to areas like work, productivity, commerce and even concepts such as ownership. After all, it was the ethical nature of Buddhism that led Ashoka to invest in public works programmes such as those which built hospitals, hostels and parks. “Buddhist ideas about economics have developed over the last few decades partly because people are increasingly aware of the destructive nature of many industrial processes which harm the planet.” Building interest in the ethical dimension of Buddhist economics, the first international conference of its type was held in the city of Budapest in 2007. Further such conventions, which look into all aspects of Buddhist economic thought, from increasing happiness to facing up to the economic challenges of Western economies, have since taken place. How did Buddhist economics get to this level of acceptance among modern academics? Not child's play: Buddhist economics isn't easy to implement The development of Buddhist economics According to the Buddhist writer, P A Payutto, the traditional study of economics has avoided vital questions about human morality and ethical considerations. However, as ecological concerns have become more critical in the eyes of many people around the globe, so ever-increasing growth – something that most capitalist economies rely upon – has become seen as negative. Therefore, alternatives economic views have become increasingly mainstream. Both right and left wing economic views have, according to the zero-growth economic models espoused by certain green politicians, got little to offer regarding preserving the world's resources. Buddhist economics fits into that tradition and has been gaining more significant attention since Payutto started publishing in the 1990s. RELATED: Spending money – can you buy yourself happiness? The idea of Buddhist economics was first espoused in the 20th century by E F Schumacher, a German statistician, who came up with his ideas while travelling through southeast Asia. Schumacher ended up being an economic advisor to Prime Minister U Nu of what was then Burma. His idea was to reject the economic theories of both Karl Marx and Adam Smith, both of whom focussed on units of labour as being the primary economic drivers in any economic model. Instead, Schumacher espoused a view of economics from a Buddhist point of view. Essentially, Schumacher opted to redefine work from something that could be sold, for example to employers, or exploited, through slavery or unpaid labour, as well as choosing to view it as something that did not necessarily need to be conducted most efficiently. In other words, his view of work was one that was there to enrich the basic happiness of the person doing it from a spiritual standpoint, not from an economic one. When work works: we should be enriched by our labour efforts Let's look at what Schumacher means by taking an example. In a factory, the most efficient way of making an item for sale into the wider economy might be to divide the labour up so that each worker does a repetitive task over and over. This simplifies their job function, makes the production method more predictable and lowers costs, especially if production is speeded up significantly. The outcome might be that the factory owner makes more money with such a system. Henry Ford, the American car maker, is often cited as a pioneer of these sorts of workplace practices which were developed for economic reasons. Schumacher turns that idea on its head. He put forward the idea that work should not be measured by economic output. “In other words, Schaumacher's view of work was one that was there to enrich the basic happiness of the person doing it from a spiritual standpoint, not from an economic one.” Indeed, according to his Buddhist principle, work is there to offer a worker the chance to utilise and develop all of his faculties, not just one or two key skills. Also, this will enable a worker to overcome egocentric ideas, mainly when work is conducted with other people in a common task, for example, building a house together. Crucially, Schumacher stated that work should “bring forth the goods and services needed for a becoming existence”. In other words, work ought to create enough economic output to sustain life but no more. Working just to accumulate more and more wealth is pointless from a spiritual perspective. Being rich is, in other words, counterproductive. Economic problems and Buddhist solutions Since the global financial crisis, many people have woken up to the idea that the economic system that has sustained the West, in particular, may not be the be-all-and-end-all. If the system could crash and the money supply seize up once, then could it do so again? In addition, the rise of China as a global economic force – a country that does not run on liberal economic models – has caused some people to think that the way things have been done does not mean that is the way they must continue. The world becomes more global in its inter-connectedness, so goods move more rapidly and resources are used up. Some see the emergence of nationalism in recent years as a direct result of global economic trends over which local communities have little control. Global economic challenges like these can be met by Buddhist teachings. Not only do they convey the idea that man is interdependent on his fellow man, but that overproduction for the sake of economic growth is undesirable. “Since the global financial crisis, many people have woken up to the idea that the economic system that has sustained the West, in particular, may not be the be-all-and-end-all.” According to Clair Brown, an economics professor at UC Berkeley and the director of the Center for Work, Technology and Society, students she teaches are focussed on the tremendous economic inequalities that globalization has produced. In a world where the richest one per cent of the population own half of all the wealth, it's clear that inequality – and abject poverty – is rife. Rise above? Buddhist economics could challenge poverty Brown teaches that happiness, founded on less inequality, and the simple act of helping each other with compassion is the answer to these undeniable economic challenges. She puts forward the idea that economists must let go of the principle that people are fundamentally selfish and that they will always choose the best economic outcome for themselves. By studying cities in the so-called Rust Belt of America, she points out that economists must work in a way that is “compatible with what neuroscientists are finding out about people’s well-being and the way minds work.” How can mankind and our planet benefit? The economic challenges of poverty, inequality, globalization and ecology can all be met by adopting a Buddhist approach to economics, so its proponents claim. On ecology, for example, Professor Brown cites the withdrawal by the US from the Paris Accords as something that does not ascribe to Buddhist teachings of being mindful of others. RELATED: The 6 Science-Backed Benefits of Living Simply Man can benefit from adopting Buddhist economics because of self-interest, so inherent in Western economic models, is illusory. Instead of bartering for the best deal, the approach should be to adopt an economic model of mutual reciprocity. Why? Because we feel negative about ourselves and others in the former model and a higher degree of happiness and inner peace with the latter. Imagine what could be achieved by humans if everyone just got on better with one another because they felt less pressured to make a few pounds? From a global point of view, this would bring about a deceleration in the exploitation of the Earth's valuable resources, helping to make economic life sustainable not just for today but for future generations. ● Main image: Colourbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Work life balance | Biology | Community living Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.
  19. Therapeutic writing & mindfulness meditation
  20. That's really interesting! I have a friend who is really into astrology and who knows a lot about doing readings and stuff based on your astrological chart. Some things are so accurate and really explains a lot!
  21. The modern lifestyle forced me to look for relaxation in everything. For example, I recently tried cbd oils. THC and CBD are two compounds that exhibit different effects depending on how they are exposed. In short, full spectrum cbd oil is the main psychoactive component contained in cannabis, which causes hallucinations, dizziness, drowsiness and is great for stress relief.
  22. The World Happiness Report 2019 has just been released. Calvin Holbrook reports on the findings of the report which ranks the happiest countries in the world to live in. And there are some shocks in store. The seventh World Happiness Report has just been published to coincide with International Day of Happiness on March 20, 2019. The main purpose of the report remains the same since it first appeared in 2012: to provide a survey of the scientific data being collected that measures the often subjective matter of human well-being and happiness. What are some of the changes in 2019 compared with previous years? World Happiness Report: 2019 key findings Although a number of facts that have been established in the 2019 edition of the World Happiness Report do little more than reiterate what we already knew about global happiness, there are some surprises to take account of, too. It seems the Nords are the biggest winners when it comes to happiness levels. Indeed, Finland has been crowned the happiest country in the world – for the second year in a row – leading a Top Ten that is made up of an incredible five Nordic nations. The Scandinavian countries of Finland, Norway, Denmark, Iceland and Sweden hogged the top positions, with the Netherlands, New Zealand, Canada and Austria also making the Top Ten. Here's the list in full: World Happiness Report 2019: Top 10 happiest places 1. Finland 2. Denmark 3. Norway 4. Iceland 5. Netherlands 6. Switzerland 7. Sweden 8. New Zealand 9. Canada 10. Austria Tellingly, four of these countries – Denmark, Switzerland, Norway and Finland – have now held Top Ten spots in the five most recent World Happiness Reports. All these top countries tend to have high values for each of the six key variables that are used to measure well-being: income, healthy life expectancy, social support, freedom, trust and generosity. With views like this, no wonder people in Norway are so happy! As the Daily Mail reported, according to Meik Wiking, CEO of the Copenhagen-based Happiness Research Institute, the five Nordic countries that reliably rank high “are doing something right in terms of creating good conditions for good lives.” He added that the happiness levels shows in these results is as a result of healthy amounts of both personal freedom and social security that outweigh residents having to pay “some of the highest taxes in the world. Briefly put, (Nordic countries) are good at converting wealth into well-being,” Wiking said. “Tellingly, four of these countries – Denmark, Switzerland, Norway and Finland – have now held Top Ten spots in the five most recent World Happiness Reports.” Despite the current Brexit dilemma causing misery throughout the United Kingdom, the UK managed to climb four places to be ranked 15th in the 2019 report, although it was trailing behind Australia (11), Costa Rica (12), Israel (13) and Luxembourg (14). World Happiness Report 2019: the losers While President Donald Trump seems to be happy to blow his own trumpet about his supposed achievements in the USA, his people clearly don't share his joy. That's because the United States – one of the wealthiest countries on the planet – slipped one more place this year in the World Happiness Report. Indeed, while the country may be getting wealthier, it's certainly not getting happier, perhaps confirming what we know that money does not buy happiness. It's now ranked in 19th place by the report's authors. Incredibly, the USA has never been in the Top Ten since the UN began publishing the report. In fact, the 2019 placing marks an all time low for the country. The North African nation of South Sudan was at the bottom of the happiness index. Understandably, countries touch by war and poverty – Afghanistan, Rwanda, Yemen and Syria – were all inside the Top Ten of the least happy places in the world. World Happiness Report: how it works One of the key things to take into consideration with the World Happiness Report, which is published annually by the UN Sustainable Development Solutions Network, is that its findings are worked out using established scientific data. Essentially, the index of happiness that the network figures out is based on questioning people in each of the 156 countries in the world. Respondents to the survey are asked to imagine a ladder of life well-being, ranked from zero to ten, and to place themselves on that ladder. Levels of gross domestic product (GDP) per capita, healthy life expectancy, generosity, social support, freedom to make life choices and corruption are then taken into consideration to provide a score for each country. The most recent surveys that are undertaken are combined with previous ones, which helps the authors to take into account differences between the relative sample sizes and frequency of surveys in different countries.● Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness.com magazine, as well being an artist and lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.
  23. So much great feel-good news this month, especially the environmental stuff. Totally agree with Tip #2. As a recent convert to 'birding', ?? I've spent a lot of my free time enjoying the sights and sounds of birds. Plus, you get the benefit of being in nature. Real chance for mindfulness in action! ?
  24. Having lots of sex doesn't always mean it's fulfilling or lead to happiness. Indeed, as Sienna St-Cyr argues, factors such as the quality of sex and couple compatibility are far more important when it comes to achieving a happy sex life. If you've ever been told that lots of sex will lead to happiness, you might have heard correctly! There are many factors that go into that statement, however. Frequency of sex is just one factor to be considered. Couple compatibility, quality, and type of sex are also important. So, the link between sex and being happy seems to be there, but it also appears to be more complex. After reading an article on the frequency of sex and whether couples are having enough of it on Greater Good, I began thinking a great deal about the subject and whether or not it’s sex itself or something that goes along with the sex that leads to happier people. This led me to a few concepts to examine in detail when discussing the link between fulfillment, sex, and being happy. 1. Frequency of sex While the article on Greater Good points out that for many folks having a lot of sex makes them happier, it also states that this isn't the case for everyone. In fact, frequency without other important factors incorporated may actually make people unhappy. I was once with a partner that wanted sex daily. I, however, didn't. For one, it wasn't satisfying for me. This partner rarely put the time in to make it enjoyable, and he usually focused on his release over mine. This caused a depression in me. RELATED: Why I'll never ignore my sexual needs in a relationship again Brian Joseph Gillespie of the Department of Sociology at Sonoma State University carried out a study in 2016 where he found that couples taking part in frequent sex were only more satisfied if the sex was also of high quality. So, frequency is only a part of the equation when it comes to having a happy sex life. Frequent sex doesn't equal great sex (or make you happy) 2. Couple compatibility This brings me to sexual happiness and compatibility. That ex and I simply weren't compatible. He wanted quick sex and often and I wanted less sex with more build up. When I met my husband, he loved foreplay. He enjoyed putting the energy into turning me on. This shows that we were far more compatible because this energy was what I needed. I went from rarely reaching orgasm to sometimes having more than one in a sexual escapade. According to the Indian Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism, reaching orgasm releases oxytocin, which is also known as one of the happiness hormones. The article on 'The Orgasmic History of Oxytocin' covers several areas of sexuality and the release of oxytocin. So, all the extra energy my husband put into me and all the additional orgasms led to more of this happiness hormone being released into my body. “The sexual connection I have with my partner leads to far more happiness if it's a positive one. Desiring the same things as a couple leads to positivity.” This sexual connection I have with my partner leads to far more happiness if it's a positive one. Desiring the same things as a couple leads to positivity. Putting the kids to bed together and reading them a story five nights a week, while only have sex twice a week, may, in fact, make for more satisfying sex. RELATED: What is Omnisexuality? Understanding and Debunking Myths However, other couples may prefer sex seven days a week. Finding that partner we’re most compatible with is essential for achieving a happy sex life, even if the actual frequency of sex is less than before. Healthy connections and finding a compatible partner means we must be mindful of our needs and desires. 3. Quality of sex As mentioned above, having sex twice a week may be perfect for some partners. The biggest thing I've found out for myself, though, is that's it's the quality of sex rather than the frequency that matters. Is it sex I like? I can have sex for an hour, but ten-minute, super intense, sex is far more powerful for me. Because I enjoy the latter more, it means a deeper level and quality of sex. Longer, softer sex is still good, but not as strong for me. RELATED: What work can teach us about improving our relationships As Brian Joseph Gillespie also mentions in his April 2016 study, couples that had far less sex but felt they had quality sex were more satisfied with their sex lives. Sp, satisfaction contributes to a happy sex life too, as well as your overall happiness levels. It's a match: couple compatibility is one factor of a happy sex life This isn’t so clear, though, when it comes to other studies. The Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization also carried out research. It found that when they asked participants to have more sex, their fulfillment actually decreased! What I found interesting about this study is that it didn’t include crossovers as Brian’s did. So the folks taking part may or may not have desired that frequency, and that can lead to poor and ‘rushed’ quality. 4. Type of sex I'm convinced that the more we're self-aware and mindful of our needs around sex and happiness, the happier we will be. It can be related to oxytocin release or happiness with our partner(s). Or, it might be that when we honour our needs, we will be more satisfied because we’ll be seeking out the relationships and sexual encounters that make us feel good inside. RELATED: Altruism is sexy and leads to more sex One of the things that drives me batty as a sexuality educator is that so many people feel they need to have intercourse for it to be ‘sex’. I believe that this is not true. That's because there's oral sex, anal sex, masturbatory sex, and even tantric sex. Some may get just as much satisfaction from cuddling as others do a three-hour long missionary sex session. Cuddling releases oxytocin too. So, for asexual folks, this is likely to be far more satisfying than full intercourse. Conclusion: lots of sex doesn't equal happy sex What all of this research and my personal experience has taught me is that the topic of sexual activity and happiness is complex. What I find this all boils down to is that we have to be mindful of our desires and needs. Then we need to honour those desires and needs to be happy. There's no doubt in my mind that when I've walked away from a very satisfying sexual encounter, I'm giggly and flying high. This elevated mood can even last for days! Interestingly, some of the encounters that brought on this feeling have been quite short. And sometimes they vary in frequency as well. But they are still – by far – the most satisfying and happy-making for me. Other times I've had a lot of sex and often, but I didn't get that same high from it: I didn't giggle or walk away with a feeling of euphoria. Ride of your life: quality rules when it comes to happy sex But the most important factor from the list for me is the quality of sex I'm having. All of this connects because all of this involves being tuned into who we are. It’s the self-awareness and mindfulness that leads to us finding compatible partners with similar sexual desires, with the ability to turn mediocre into outstandingly – quality-filled – sexual encounters. If you’re interested in upping your happiness through increased sexual encounters – and I guess you are as you are reading this article (!), I’d suggest keeping these things to the front of your mind: Find a partner compatible with your life goals Talk about sex and sexuality, compare your desires Remember that quantity is not the same as quality Honour both people’s needs with compassion In essence, this is simple. Pay attention and honour one another. If you find your partner isn't ready to meet your needs or if you find you’re not willing to meet theirs and you are both profoundly unable to compromise, maybe letting go of that connection and being open to someone more compatible with your needs is the healthier way to go. “There's no doubt in my mind that when I've walked away from a very satisfying sexual encounter, I'm giggly and flying high. The elevated mood can last me days.” I was often taught that couples that love each other stay together until death. But I have never really bought into this belief. If I can’t make my partner happy, then I will love him enough to let him go so he can find happiness elsewhere. I'm sure the ex that hated foreplay and loved frequent sex has found his special someone that desires those same things. If we’d stayed together, we wouldn't have been happy. And that wouldn't have been due to lack of sex: we were having plenty of that, after all! So, in conclusion, honour your needs, talk about your desires, and listen to your partner when they tell you about their needs and desires. Then, act. For me, this has been the fastest way to a happy and fulfilled sex life. ● Main image: colourbox.com Written by Sienna Saint-Cyr Sienna Saint-Cyr is an author, advocate, and the founder of SinCyr Publishing. She speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on the importance of having a healthy body image, understanding enthusiastic consent, using sexuality to promote healing, navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships, having Complex PTSD, and more. Sienna loves sharing her journey of healing and finding happiness with her readers. Along with writing erotica and romance, Sienna speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on such sex-positive topics as a healthy body image, using sexuality to promote healing, and navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships. She writes for several websites. Find out more.
  25. So true, Physical and mental health both are most important for healthy and happy life. Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood. You should take care of it. If you want to improve your mental health you should go for life coaching. Last year when i was in depression and this is the main reason of my mental health someone suggest me for life coaching to feel free from depression and improve mental health as well. Life coach helps you to feel free from depression and improve 1 your mental stability. He should deal with your mental health and improve this.
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