What keeps us warm during winter?

[it****]

I do not hope to be approached about god. I want to make that apparent.

 

I am a huge advocate for nature, yet I do not have the ability yet to travel to car-distance hikes, lakes, mountains, valleys, rivers, oceans. I want to scuba dive again. I want to go on car trips. I want to travel.

 

I grew up as a TCK, travelling the world wherever my two parents, both international teachers, got a job. It has it’s ups, but it has it’s downs too. Since I’ve always been surrounded by similar people in my childhood years, I have learned to ignore these traumas I’ve suffered through, seeing them as “normal”. As a result, I’ve forgotten all the highs of my life travelling, and I hope to attempt “van-life” down the line, in my mid-20s to remind myself of the beauty of travel. I hope to drive from town to town, spending a few weeks between each, then settling in a location for a month or two, living out of the van, working in different diners around the world to help fund the next weeks and to learn the stories of the local regulars that dine at the diners. 

 

I am a photographer and a poet. I’ve recently picked up a film camera after a year-long hiatus from photography, learning poetry. I mainly shoot black-and-white. Photography helps me follow wherever my eyes leads me to. I mainly use poetry as a means to describe pent of feelings. 

 

—

 

What keeps us warm during winter?

 

The weight of the heat

trapped beneath this shirt,

this sweater, this jacket,

on the crowded bus is but

the weight of my anxiety. 

 

—

 

Now I need to think of a catchy title for this post. Honestly, I think I just want to be heard. Sharing my goals holds me accountable in a way.

 

I am neither spontaneous nor planning. I am neither creative nor intuitive. But I am hyper-aware of my spontaneity whenever is does occur, and my surroundings if anything stands out. I am no stranger to chance or faith or coincidences, whatever you call it. It scares me whenever it happens, and it feels like I’m losing control of my life.