ON ABUSE AND "SPIRITUALITY"
"You attracted it because you desired it".
"If you think there's a problem with another's words or actions,
YOU are the one who's confused"."Everything is just your projection. Everything is in your mind".
"Clear up your vibration and you'll stop attracting bad things to yourself".
"You are too attached to the body. Go beyond the body. It's not who you are."
"If you have doubts, fears, resistance, pain, anger, then you must be in your ego and totally Read more…unenlightened".
"The past is an illusion. Let it go right now!".
Ugh. I'm so tired of all this New Age spiritual bullshit.
I'm tired of ANY spirituality that doesn't fully honour
our messy, unresolvable, first-hand, real-time, embodied human experience.
That doesn't bow deeply to the struggle of our raw and tender hearts.
That guilt-trips us for our imperfections and shames our limitations.
No, it's not always your projection.
Yes, sometimes other people really ARE abusive and need to be stopped.
No, everything isn't always "in your mind".
Yes, your body matters. Your feelings too.
No, your doubts and fears are not 'wrong' or 'bad' or 'unevolved'.
No, you do not 'attract' abuse through a faulty 'vibrational frequency'.
No, you do not deserve to be violated in any way, in the name of Truth, in the name of God, in the name of Love, or IN ANY OTHER NAME.
Yes, your boundaries deserve to be respected, your 'yes' AND your 'no' too.
No, it's not okay for spiritual teachers to abuse people "for their own good"
- to shock them into awakening, to enlighten them, to help them drop their "ego".
Teachers that use abuse as a tool are simply abusers, not teachers.
I reject any spirituality that dismisses our tender, vulnerable, fragile humanity.
I reject any spirituality that shames us for our precious human thoughts and feelings.
I reject any spirituality that begins any sentence with "If you were enlightened..."
I reject any spirituality that divides self from no self, divine from human, sacred from profane, absolute from relative, heaven from earth, duality from nonduality, material from spiritual.
I once saw a popular spiritual teacher addressing a recently bereaved woman.
He said, "Your heartbreak is illusory and only the activity of the separate self.
One day the separate self will vanish, along with all suffering".
And in that moment, I saw a deep, deep sickness and inhumanity at the heart of contemporary spirituality. The invalidation of trauma, the false promises, the power games, the suppression of the feminine.
And I vowed to bow to that fucking broken heart as if it were God Herself.
Until the end of time.
- Jeff Foster