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Name Candy
Age 36
Status In a relationship
Zodiac sign Aries

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On a self-love and self-exploration journey.

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Candy
icon-wio Candy created a topic in Tools, Practices, Teachers
What is Meditation? - By Jeff Foster
WHAT IS MEDITATION? By Jeff Foster
Meditation is not about getting yourself into altered states. Altered states do not last. It’s about becoming intimate with this state – this present moment, this day, this Now, its textures, tastes, vibrations, contractions and aches.
Meditation is not an out-of-body experience. It’s the opposite. It’s a full experience of the body and its ever-changing sensations, its amorphous clouds of shivers, tickles, undulations and pulsations, throbbings, fizzles, its Read more…pain and its pleasure, its opening and closing, its ever-changing form.
Meditation does not always make you feel “good”. In meditation, you feel exactly as you feel, and you learn to love that, or at least to allow it, or at least to tolerate it a little more than you did yesterday. Meditation makes you feel more like… you.
Meditation is not about getting anywhere. It’s about discovering that there is nowhere to get to. That you are already home, and your body is the ground of all grounds. It is about discovering true safety in the feet, in the hands, in the pit of the belly. It is about finding a sanctuary in your chest, a sacred shrine between your eyes, a loving friend in the breath, a mother in the motherless places.
Meditation is not something that you do with your mind. In meditation, the mind relaxes into the heart, seeking relaxes into finding, and even the most intense anxiety finds its home. You cannot make it happen, but you can fall into it.
Meditation is not for experts, or the ones who know. Meditation is for absolute beginners, those who are willing to face their present experience with wide open, curious eyes.
Meditation is a field of love, an ever-present ground of safety, presence and stillness, that you remember, or forget, or remember again.
Meditation never leaves you. It whispers to you in the stillness of the night. And even in the midst of an activated nervous system, a full-on panic attack, suffocating claustrophobia or the urge to get out of your body… meditation is right there, holding you, loving you, gently kissing your forehead, willing you on.
It will not abandon you, and ultimately, you will not abandon it.
And closing your eyes to sleep at night, meditation is there, snuggling right up to you.
Your soft pillow, the rising and falling of your own delicious breath, a light breeze coming in from the window, that billion-year-old sense of Being...
You are safe in your own body, my love. You are safe.
LikeJulius, Calvin77, Lizzie
Candy
icon-wio Candy created a topic in It's all about happiness
The Healing Power of Loneliness - By Jeff Foster

THE HEALING POWER OF LONELINESS
Loneliness is not the absence of connection but the full presence of God and a total experience of the Self. It is total "isolation" which is not isolation at all from the perspective of Infinitude. Loneliness contains its own cure, if we are willing to dive in, courageously, or without any courage at all. The dive is everything. Loneliness is utterly misunderstood in our culture, or rather, it is only understood on a very superficial psychological level. Read more…
Everyone is running from loneliness, keeping busy just to avoid it, never coming to know and taste its sweet and merciful healing nectar.
For many, loneliness is an enemy, something shameful to be avoided or covered up at all costs. We reach outwards, habitually, automatically, unconsciously, just to keep our distance from loneliness, just to avoid the deafening silence at the heart of all creation. We fill our time and senses up, addict ourselves to projects, create false personas on social media, try to stay “connected” as much as we can, never letting ourselves rest, to avoid the “void” and the gaping chasm of loneliness. But in its terrifying depths, loneliness is not harmful or shameful at all; it is a highly misunderstood spiritual experience of Oneness with all creation, a full and life-giving immersion in the staggering beauty – and utter horror - of life itself, a deep and timeless connection to all living things. Loneliness is not an emptiness but a full presence and an abundance of life. It is pure potential and freedom and surrender all at once, but as long as we are running from it we will never know its nourishing, healing and transformative powers.
Loneliness is not a negative state or some mistake in our being or biology, it is inherent in existence itself, built-in ontologically to our very consciousness and it transcends the psychological story. It is connection, not disconnection. It is wholeness, not lack. Loneliness is a naked spiritual state and subsumes all other states. It is an utter letting go, a paradigm of pure receptivity and perfectly tender openness. It is the ground of being itself, and the base of our subjectivity.
We run from it at our peril.
Nobody can experience our joys and sorrows for us. Nobody can live for us and nobody can die for us. Nobody can experience our own subjective reality, see what we see, feel what we feel, experience what we experience, love what we love, heal from what we need to heal from. We can act as witnesses for one another but we cannot enter each other’s subjectivity or breathe for each other or process each other’s pain. We exist in utter aloneness and uniqueness always, and this is true even when we are in deep connection and relationship. Our ability to relate authentically has its roots in our profound loneliness, and this is what makes every connection with another being such a miracle. When we run from our loneliness, we run from the miraculous and we run from ourselves.
Without loneliness, we exist in utter spiritual poverty, no matter how 'evolved' we believe we are.
Loneliness is a journey we must take alone. Like falling in love, or like dying, we must fall, without protection and without guarantees. Loneliness is the artist in the midst of creating something utterly new, the scientist on the verge of a breakthrough. Loneliness is the woman crying out on her deathbed, the child being born, the spiritual seeker kneeling prostrate before the ordinary world, the adventurer forging a new path in the dark forest. Loneliness is a risk, but utterly safe. Loneliness is the heart of trauma but it is a loving heart after all. Loneliness feels like shame and total abandonment from the perspective of the mind but for the soul loneliness is a full encounter with the timeless mystery of creation and an utter celebration of all there is.
Loneliness takes us out of our minds. It breaks us, grinds us down to our essence, erodes us back to purity and innocence and beauty, brings us close to death but then rebirths us, stronger and more courageous than ever before. Its terror breaks our defences and, then, vulnerable and soft and open, we re-enter the world, more sensitive to its beauty, more aware of the fragility of form and more tender towards the ache of humanity.
We don’t always know if we can endure loneliness, but we do.
When we are in loneliness, it is total and all-consuming and even time recedes. Everything disappears into loneliness - it is like a black hole, and we don’t know how long we can survive its ferocious embrace. But we are stronger than we know and we endure it beautifully. Through meeting our own loneliness and letting it touch us deeply, and ravage us, and cleanse us, and renew us, we come to know directly the loneliness of all beings, their yearning for the light, their deep ache for God, their search for home. We recognise others more deeply as ourselves. Loneliness makes us look beyond appearances and touch the depths of the world soul. If we have truly plumbed the depths of our own loneliness, we can never again close our hearts to the loneliness of others, to the yearning of their humanity, to the horror and awe of creation itself.
Loneliness breaks us open to a devastating compassion for all things, it matures us spiritually and increases our empathy a thousand-fold. We become more caring, more compassionate, more deeply considerate. We become more able to look into the eyes of another without shame or fear. We become less able to turn away where we see suffering and pain. We value our connections more deeply than ever before. Each friendship is a miracle. Each moment with a family member, or partner, or stranger, takes on a strange new melancholic beauty. We become more fearlessly alive in our dying. We embrace paradox as a lover and a friend.
Loneliness is the gravity of love, a sacred pull into the heart core.
Loneliness brings with it a sense of rest and contentment, a deep inner happiness and satisfaction. It slows us down to a snail’s pace and breaks our addiction to the clock and to second-hand notions of "success". It makes us less distracted, less restless, less manipulative, more content with the present moment. The black hole in our guts becomes our unexpected church, our solace, our sanctuary and our mother, and the source of all our genuine answers. We listen to our loneliness and it brings unexpected gifts. New creativity and new inspiration pours out of the lonely place inside. New music comes from there, new and unexpected words, new desire and new paths to follow. Loneliness is the source of all great art, music, poetry, dance, and all works touched by authentic loneliness are authentic works filled with truth and humility and the light of life itself. The nectar of God pours through the broken place inside. Loneliness crucifies us yet shows us that we cannot be crucified.
We do not lose ourselves in loneliness. We find ourselves there more clearly and directly than ever.
Loneliness is the experience of pure intimacy with the senses. It is the erotic experience of being fully alive. It is Jesus on the cross. It is the pulsating ache of a universe longing to be born. It is the end of all things, and a new beginning. It is holding a friend’s hand, not knowing how to help them, not knowing how to take away their suffering, but giving our heart to them totally. It is facing our own death, no promises, no guarantees, no story anymore.
Loneliness is the Beloved beckoning us. Those who have let themselves touch the black hole of loneliness, those who have given themselves up to its relentless pull, who have let the darkness penetrate and infuse and shake and reawaken them, are unmistakable beings. They have a depth and a strength of character that others lack. They radiate genuine warmth and understanding. Their melancholy is the fount of their greatest joy. They are not content with surface things any longer. They have been broken but they are playful too, and full of humour. They love the night-time as much as the day, the shadows as much as the light, the wolf as much as the songbird. Their not-knowing is the source of their wisdom. Their spirituality is simple. They hold no dogma anymore. They have become like little children once more. They are poets and artists and wild lovers of the night.
Loneliness is the experience of being in a body, but not of a body, and knowing that all things will pass, that all loved ones will die, that nothing lasts, that everything is made of the most delicate substance. Loneliness is a deep and unshakeable awareness of the transience and brevity of things, of illness and endings and new beginnings. Loneliness is a love of the night-time, the shadows and the moon. It is present in every moment and saturates every hour of every day. Once you have tasted loneliness, truly sipped from its sacred fount, you cannot run away from it ever again. You are haunted by it, yet you know it is the friendliest of ghosts.
Loneliness opens your heart wider than any other experience ever could. It brings with it youth and innocence. It makes you weep at the sight of sand on the beach, or the sound of a baby crying, or the feel of the morning sunlight on your skin, or upon the contemplation of time itself. Loneliness takes us to our most painful places but helps us fulfil our highest potential. Without loneliness, we are just shells of human beings, frightened skeletons. Loneliness fills us up with warmth from the inside, gives our lives the deepest kind of purpose and direction and meaning. Loneliness makes us realise we are never alone, and we are always loved, despite our imperfections and lack of faith. Loneliness is a religious experience, a lovemaking with the Universe.
Loneliness will save you if you give yourself to it totally. It will not separate you from the world and others but will bind you to them more powerfully. Through the dread and devastation of loneliness you will discover that you are more vast and more capable of love than you ever thought possible. You will be shocked at how much life you can hold.
The more you run from loneliness, the lonelier and lonelier you will feel, and the more you will fear being alone, even if you are surrounded by people. In loneliness is the utter paradox and mystery of creation. It may be last place you want to touch in yourself, and it may sound like madness, what I am saying to you here. But your loneliness may hold all the secrets to your very existence. You may find that your loneliness is not “loneliness” at all, in the end – it is your umbilical cord to God, unbreakable, infinite, death-defying, a cosmic pathway of love and forgiveness and utter, utter humility.
Let your loneliness pierce you, then, and shake you, and nourish you, and let it connect you to the world - and your authentic self - more deeply than ever.
- Jeff Foster
LikeLizzie, Calvin77
Candy
icon-wio Candy created a topic in It's all about happiness
You Are The One - Jeff Foster
YOU ARE THE ONE
Do not seek love. Do not leave yourself for love, and search for love in the other. Love is not an object, it cannot be given nor taken away. It cannot be found nor lost. Love is not a feeling, a state, or a peak experience, but what you are, presence itself.
Do not confuse love with attraction. Attraction comes and goes, can fade over time. Do not confuse love with longing. Longing is impermanent, transitory. Do not confuse love with feelings of bliss, pleasure, an excited Read more…nervous system. These passing states cannot last; it is not in their nature. Even promises, given with such certainty today, with the best of intentions, can fade tomorrow, or be broken.
Love, however, does not fade. Love cannot diminish over time. Love is not a commodity, a shifting form. Love is a field, a field within and without us, a field in which thoughts, feelings, even the most seemingly solid plans for the future, can appear and disappear. Love holds hope as much as loss, excitement as much as boredom, crushing disappointment as much as bliss. Love is the field for the shifting forms, the ground that holds us as we walk, sit, talk or do not, feel what we feel in each other's presence, go about the business of our day, plan, eat, hope, say goodbye, try to love. Love is greater than us. We do not generate it with words and deeds, or even intentions, but we are continually embraced by it, held in its vastness, no matter what we do, or do not. We are married, we divorce; we are friends, we are lovers; we break up, we break together; we are born, we die; the field endures.
Nobody has ever given us love; that is the great illusion. We have simply remembered the field in each other's presence, sometimes, recognised eternity in the midst of the everyday, then credited another. Love never came from outside of us; we simply touched our own presence, fell into the love that we are, and cannot not be. And nobody ever took love away from us; we simply forgot the field, and 'blamed' the other, and looked for love again, feeling its absence, lost in a narrative of 'lost love'. Yet love was there, even in its apparent absence; it was present, even in the loss. It cannot be broken; a wave cannot crush the Ocean.
Do not seek love, do not look for the light, but be it, offer it; the joy of loving another is infinitely greater than the joy of fearfully clinging to another's love, for deep down you know it is only an illusion that what you have always longed for could ever have come from outside of you. You are the One; you have always been the One.
The search ends exactly where it began - in presence.
You realise you are love itself, and this changes everything; love is yours, forever, even when it's not.
- Jeff Foster
LikeUnicornTamer, SociSujo, Sweetlife and 3 more… · 2 Replies
Sweetlife
Sweetlife Beautiful and touched so many bases Beautiful and touched so many bases
LikeCandy · 28.08.2020 22:41:27
Marlene
Marlene ohh, this is soo beautiful and so true !!! this everybody should read, thank you for posting and for oppotunity that we all can read it! Love ohh, this is soo beautiful and so true !!! this everybody should read, thank you for posting and for oppotunity that we all can read it! Love
LikeCalvin77, Candy, Lizzie · 21.08.2020 10:36:05
Vegan Recipe Share
What is veganism? 🌱
The Vegan Society defined the vegan diet in 1944 as "the principle of the emancipation of animals from exploitation by man".
Later, it was clarified as "to seek an end to the use of animals by man for food, commodities, work, hunting, vivisection, and by all other uses involving exploitation of animal life by man".
Veganism is a philosophy or way of living that excludes all forms of cruelty to and the exploitation of animals for food, clothing or any other purpose. Veganism Read more…also promotes the use and development of animal- and cruelty-free alternatives that benefit the animals, humans, as well as the environment.
What do vegans eat?!
A vegan diet comprises all fruits, vegetables, whole grains, seeds, nuts, legumes, and pulses. These can be prepared in endless combinations. You never have to eat the same thing twice in a month, unless you really like it, of course 😉
Once I decided to adopt a vegan diet, I was pleasantly surprised at the diversity and richness of it. I began experimenting with different ingredients and flavours and tried to make a vegan version of all my favourite dishes. After a few months, I didn't miss animal products at all anymore and now, six years later, I sometimes even find it a bit odd when I come across a smoothie recipe that calls for cow's milk, for example!
It's more than just a diet. It's a lifestyle.
The "hardcore" vegans avoid the exploitation of animals for any purpose, at all costs and make sure everything they consume is cruelty-free; from clothing and cleaning products to cosmetics and other personal hygiene products. There are still very many brands and companies that test their products on animals. For a list of cruelty-free brands, see here.
Compassion for animals is the main reason people choose a vegan lifestyle these days. However, more and more evidence shows that a vegan diet is beneficial both to our health and the environment. PETA shares more about why eating meat contributes to climate change and harms the environment.
Healthy vs "Unhealthy" vegans
Vegan diets are considered healthy as they lack significant amounts of cholesterol (linked to heart disease) and include nutrients, fibre and antioxidants that are vital to our health and prevent dis-ease.
However, it's definitely possible to be vegan and still have a poor diet. Living in a world where processed foods are available on every corner and take over most aisles in our supermarkets, all diets, including a vegan one can be inundated with junk/unhealthy food, i.e. the absence of whole foods.
An 'unhealthy' vegan diet would be one that lacks essential nutrients that come from the list of foods mentioned above. Ideally, we should try to eat a whole foods diet at least 85% of the time, while leaving a bit of leeway for the Beyond burgers, french fries and vegan Ben & Jerry's.
Whether you choose to be healthy, 'unhealthy', or somewhere in between, remember, it's your body. Do what's best for you and don't mind what others think. Respect yourself, and also respect the choices of others.
One thing that's worked for me in making healthier choices over the years is looking at the ingredients of everything I buy. If it has more than five ingredients, and or any of which I can't pronounce, I leave it on the shelf. That said, every once in a while, it's important to TREAT YO SELF to whatever it is you want, be it a juicy vegan cupcake, a greasy meat-free burger or an XXL cheezy fries, and enjoy every bite, GUILT-FREE.
Recipe Share
My vegan adventure is far from over, and every day brings new culinary experiments which I'd like to share with everyone here. My favourite dishes are those that require ten or fewer ingredients and 30-45 minutes of prep/cooking time. I hope these recipes serve as an inspiration to those who love spending time in the kitchen as much as I do.
All the recipes are adjustable to your taste and what's available to you where you live. Feel free to comment and share what works or doesn't work for you, or any alternative hacks or ingredients you find useful or not so much. And remember to have fun in the kitchen! 👩‍🍳👨‍🍳
Bon appetite!
LikeCalvin77, Lizzie, Tine and 1 more… · 10 Replies
Candy
Candy #2 Chocolate Protein Granola
Sometimes I prefer something more crunchy for breakfast, so I make a batch of this granola, which also happens to double as a snack! It pairs well with coconut yoghurt and fruit.
Store-bought granola is fine too, but I find nearly all of them have unnecessary added refined sugar and other "natural" ingredients that are actually chemically produced.
Servings: Depends on how much you eat 😅
Cooking time: 25 minutes (including time in the oven)
Ingredients:
1/2 cup Read more… gluten-free oats
1/2 cup buckwheat groats (optional)
6 tbs chia seeds
Nuts, roughly chopped (I like almonds, walnuts or pecans)
Dried fruits such as dates, raisins, currants, or cranberries
1-2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla extract (optional)
Clean, unsweetened protein powder
40ml melted coconut oil
40ml syrup (rice, date, agave, or maple - your choice 😉
Instructions:
Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius (356 F)
Combine all the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl.
Add the coconut oil and syrup and mix well. If your mixture is too dry, add more oil.
Spread out flat on a baking tray lined with baking paper, and bake for approximately 8-10 minutes, depending on your oven.
Once it starts to brown, flip or stir it around and bake for another 8-10 minutes.
Allow to cool completely before breaking it up into bite-size chunks.
Store in an airtight container for up to 5 days.
Side notes:
This granola also makes a great pre or post-gym/workout snack.
You can use any flavour of protein powder, although I would recommend looking for one that has the cleanest ingredients and no added sugar or sweetener.
Like · 15.09.2020 11:00:43
Candy
Candy My Favourite Vegan Breakfast Series
#1 Porridge Oats
My all-time favourite thing to have for breakfast is hot oats or oatmeal porridge with cinnamon, banana and other yummy trimmings. I eat this on most days, summer or winter. It's super nutritious and effortless to make.
Servings: 1-2
Cooking time: 10 minutes
Ingredients:
1/2 cup gluten-free oats (I prefer gluten-free, although any oats are fine)
1 tsp cinnamon powder
Pinch of pink salt (optional)
1/2 ripe banana - mashed (optional)
1/2 cup Read more… plant milk or water
Fresh and dried fruit
Superfoods or a seed mix
Agave, rice, date or maple syrup (optional)
Instructions:
Add the oats, salt, and milk/water to medium heat and bring to a boil.
Once it's boiling, turn down the heat and allow it to simmer.
Stir in the cinnamon and mashed banana.
If you prefer runny oats, add more water/milk.
Remove from heat into a bowl.
Add favourite toppings, drizzle with syrup and dig in!
My favourite toppings are berries, cacao nibs, hemp seeds, ground flax seeds, and nut butters.
LikeCalvin77, crystalclear, Tine and 1 more… · 08.09.2020 12:37:45
Candy
Candy Creamy White Bean Soup
It's a chilly, rainy day in Germany where I'm currently visiting friends and family, and I'm in the mood for a hearty soup!
Using what I found in the kitchen, I whipped up this simple, creamy white bean soup. I love soups. It's a great way to empty the fridge of leftover vegetables at the end of the week!
This wholesome soup comes together quickly and easily and goes well with warm crusty bread.
Servings: 1-2
Cooking time: 30 minutes
Ingredients:
1 jar cannellini Read more… beans
1-2 carrots
1 onion
A few celery stalks
2 cloves garlic
Kale
Italian mixed herbs
Chilli flakes
Cayenne pepper
Vegetable broth (homemade, cubes, powder or liquid)
Salt & pepper to taste
Instructions:
Sauté the onion, carrots, and celery in water or oil for a few minutes.
Add the garlic and mixed herbs when the onions are soft and translucent and sauté a few more minutes.
Add the vegetable broth.
Rinse the beans and add to the pot with a dash each of cayenne pepper and chilli flakes.
Place a lid on the pot and boil on low heat for approximately 15 minutes.
Remove the lid and let the soup simmer for a few more minutes.
Scoop out one cup of the soup and blend until creamy.
Return the blended soup to the pot and stir.
At this point, add the kale and simmer for a few more minutes until the kale changes colour.
Add salt & pepper to taste. Depending on which stock you use, you might not need additional salt.
Let cool for a few minutes and serve.
LikeLizzie, Nika · 27.08.2020 14:35:09
Show more 3 of 10
Candy
icon-wio Candy created a topic in It's all about happiness
On Abuse and "Spirituality" - By Jeff Foster
ON ABUSE AND "SPIRITUALITY"
"You attracted it because you desired it".
"If you think there's a problem with another's words or actions,
YOU are the one who's confused"."Everything is just your projection. Everything is in your mind".
"Clear up your vibration and you'll stop attracting bad things to yourself".
"You are too attached to the body. Go beyond the body. It's not who you are."
"If you have doubts, fears, resistance, pain, anger, then you must be in your ego and totally Read more…unenlightened".
"The past is an illusion. Let it go right now!".
Ugh. I'm so tired of all this New Age spiritual bullshit.
I'm tired of ANY spirituality that doesn't fully honour
our messy, unresolvable, first-hand, real-time, embodied human experience.
That doesn't bow deeply to the struggle of our raw and tender hearts.
That guilt-trips us for our imperfections and shames our limitations.
No, it's not always your projection.
Yes, sometimes other people really ARE abusive and need to be stopped.
No, everything isn't always "in your mind".
Yes, your body matters. Your feelings too.
No, your doubts and fears are not 'wrong' or 'bad' or 'unevolved'.
No, you do not 'attract' abuse through a faulty 'vibrational frequency'.
No, you do not deserve to be violated in any way, in the name of Truth, in the name of God, in the name of Love, or IN ANY OTHER NAME.
Yes, your boundaries deserve to be respected, your 'yes' AND your 'no' too.
No, it's not okay for spiritual teachers to abuse people "for their own good"
- to shock them into awakening, to enlighten them, to help them drop their "ego".
Teachers that use abuse as a tool are simply abusers, not teachers.
I reject any spirituality that dismisses our tender, vulnerable, fragile humanity.
I reject any spirituality that shames us for our precious human thoughts and feelings.
I reject any spirituality that begins any sentence with "If you were enlightened..."
I reject any spirituality that divides self from no self, divine from human, sacred from profane, absolute from relative, heaven from earth, duality from nonduality, material from spiritual.
I once saw a popular spiritual teacher addressing a recently bereaved woman.
He said, "Your heartbreak is illusory and only the activity of the separate self.
One day the separate self will vanish, along with all suffering".
And in that moment, I saw a deep, deep sickness and inhumanity at the heart of contemporary spirituality. The invalidation of trauma, the false promises, the power games, the suppression of the feminine.
And I vowed to bow to that fucking broken heart as if it were God Herself.
Until the end of time.
- Jeff Foster
LikeJulius, Joy-3993, matthewstew and 2 more… · 2 Replies
Terabyte
Terabyte Thanks for sharing this i am really touched because many at time i fall a victim to this and its indeed a negative energy Thanks for sharing this i am really touched because many at time i fall a victim to this and its indeed a negative energy
Like · 14.08.2020 16:40:53
Lizzie
Lizzie Thank you for sharing @Candy - Abuse is always horrific and inexcusable, and when connected to spirituality it's so exploitative of a vulnerable state of mind. It's scary to see how often it has been used by spiritual leaders as a way to take advantage and exercise power over people who put their trust in them.
A really powerful message! Thank you for sharing @Candy - Abuse is always horrific and inexcusable, and when connected to spirituality it's so exploitative of a vulnerable state of mind. It's scary to see how often it has been used by spiritual leaders as a way to take advantage and exercise power over people who put their trust in them.
A really powerful message!
LikeCalvin77, Candy · 06.08.2020 9:35:49
Candy
icon-wio Candy wrote something in It's all about happiness
  • 21.07.2020 10:47:30
  • n/a (36)
  • Barcelona
  • Single
Self-Love... 😊✍

How wonderful! 😊✨

LikeCalvin77, joanna · Jump to discussion
Candy
icon-wio Candy wrote something in It's all about happiness
  • 10.07.2020 14:01:52
  • n/a (36)
  • Barcelona
  • Single
Share a weird thing you like to do that makes you happy :)

@waihong Haha😂😂 How wonderful!

Likecrystalclear · Jump to discussion
Candy
icon-wio Candy wrote something in Tools, Practices, Teachers
  • 08.07.2020 15:22:26
  • n/a (36)
  • Barcelona
  • Single
"HOW TO PROTECT YOUR VULNERABLE HEART"

@HumanbeingI am so so glad this letter found you and resonated with you as it did with me. My hope when sharing this was that someone out there would want to hear this and take what they need from it.
This is a safe space, and you're most welcome to open up to any degree you feel comfortable
Congratulations also on your sobriety! I know how hard that journey is and I commend you for your bravery.
The person who wrote this letter, Jeff Foster, is a wonderful teacher and I highly recommend his Read more… books and teachings.
I wish you all the very best too and remember, always follow your heart ❤️

LikeLizzie, Calvin77, joanna and 1 more… · Jump to discussion
Candy
icon-wio Candy created a topic in Tools, Practices, Teachers
"HOW TO PROTECT YOUR VULNERABLE HEART"
HOW TO PROTECT YOUR VULNERABLE HEART (From a letter to a friend)
“Your vulnerability is a gift, my love, of course. But please, offer it only to those who truly want it, tender it only to those who sincerely appreciate it and can offer their own tenderness in return, otherwise you will hurt yourself in the long run, and a kind of lonely, resentful despair will take root. Give your precious fragility to those who truly desire – and are willing - to step into a sacred field of deep listening with Read more…you, who want to work hard with you to create a safe, empathic, trustworthy and enduring connection. This will not happen overnight. It will take more than words. It will take time. Months. Years, maybe. Perhaps decades.
As you are learning, it’s easy to talk about vulnerability. It’s easy to say “I love you”, and speak convincing, uplifting, inspiring words about closeness, love, empathy, deep connection, and “sharing our hearts”. We feel good speaking these words and we want to believe in them. But words are meaningless, empty, unless they are proven in the crucible of connection. Let us not live in hope, and let us not merely pay lip service to the idea of closeness. True friendship, which is love, asks of us our blood, sweat and tears, and even “empaths” can have trouble with being empathic, as you are finding out.
Here is the truth: Some beings want your vulnerability and some do not. Some are willing to put in the work, and some are not. Some can handle your vulnerability, and some cannot, at this point in their lives, anyway. Some will say they want your truth and your love and your friendship, but are incapable of actually offering or receiving it. (No judgement here. We all can be more or less self-absorbed or narcissistic at different times in our lives, can’t we?)
At worst, those who do not want your vulnerability will ignore it, shame it, or blame you for feeling how you feel, needing what you need and thinking what you think. They will use your vulnerability against you, break your trust and break your heart, ridicule you for being how you are, even call you names. You will leave interactions feeling reduced, unworthy, unheard, unsafe. You may end up blaming yourself, but this may just be a sign that you need more protection from such a person, better boundaries, more space, less closeness.
Listen to your body.
Yes, if you listen to your body, you will learn who to open your heart to and who to distance yourself from emotionally and even physically. You will learn who is safe, and who is not, despite all the words. You will sense - energetically - who is truly ready and willing to receive the gift of your vulnerability, and who is not. Who truly wants your fragile, open heart, and who does not.
It’s okay to draw and redraw boundary lines over time. (Your boundaries are an expression of your power). It's okay to share more then to decide to share less. To open up, and to close down again as you gather new information and perspective. To take one step forwards… and two steps back. Love loves the opening and the closing too, the forwards and the backwards of the dance of intimacy. You do not have to be vulnerable with everyone you meet, and especially not when you first meet them. You do not have to share your heart – your truth, your thoughts, your feelings, your desires, your dreams, your hopes and your fears - until you feel ready, and you may never feel ready, and that’s okay. Don’t let anyone pressure you into opening up. You do not owe anyone anything at all. (And remember, you don’t have to share anything with me that you don’t feel safe to share, dear one. Anything at all, ever.)
Your vulnerability is a gift you can give to those who have proved they are ready, willing, and able to receive it. Sometimes you may have to learn through trial and error. You may feel you have shared too much, so you can pull back. Or perhaps you will find the courage to offer a little more vulnerability than before, and see how it’s received. You will spot patterns over time. You will see how someone responds to your open heart. You will not be able to see everything in the beginning. Hope and the mind’s fantasies of love can blind you. Stay connected to your gut. It will not lie.
When you find someone who can truly receive your vulnerability, over time, and can offer their open heart in return, rejoice! As you know, it is this safe, empathic, consistent and reliable relational field, this sacred space that accepts us exactly as we are, brokenness and all - in other words, the presence of God - that ultimately heals our deepest trauma.... whether you find this warm love in a friend… or a lover, a partner, a family member, a therapist, a healer, a pet, an imaginary figure of light, a two hundred year old tree… or in the deepest recesses of your own beautiful self….
So yes, your vulnerability is a precious gift, my love, but to whom are you offering it? Who has the maturity, courage, trustworthiness and strength to fully receive it, and consistently reflect it back to you? Who truly wants you, the authentic you, the unmasked you, the raw and unfiltered and imperfect you? Who simply talks about love and empathy and connection and family… and who actually does the hard work of meeting you, deeply listening to you, valuing and honouring you, in a real and embodied way? These are the questions you are being guided towards now, my love, as you rediscover your true worth…”
- Jeff Foster
LikeLizzie, Calvin77, Voroshuck-warlock and 4 more… · 3 Replies
Lizzie
Lizzie @Candy - thank you for sharing this letter, and @Humanbeing - thank you for sharing a bit about your story and how the letter resonated with you. 🧡
It can sometimes be equally inspiring to read how a certain text or topic made someone feel as reading the actual text itself. This is indeed a safe space, and sharing and opening up can be such a great experience too. 🙌 @Candy - thank you for sharing this letter, and @Humanbeing - thank you for sharing a bit about your story and how the letter resonated with you. 🧡
It can sometimes be equally inspiring to read how a certain text or topic made someone feel as reading the actual text itself. This is indeed a safe space, and sharing and opening up can be such a great experience too. 🙌
Like · 10.07.2020 11:54:10
Candy
Candy @HumanbeingI am so so glad this letter found you and resonated with you as it did with me. My hope when sharing this was that someone out there would want to hear this and take what they need from it.
This is a safe space, and you're most welcome to open up to any degree you feel comfortable
Congratulations also on your sobriety! I know how hard that journey is and I commend you for your bravery.
The person who wrote this letter, Jeff Foster, is a wonderful teacher and I highly recommend his Read more… books and teachings.
I wish you all the very best too and remember, always follow your heart ❤️
LikeLizzie, Calvin77, joanna and 1 more… · 08.07.2020 15:22:26
Humanbeing
Humanbeing Thankyou so very much for this! Truly you have no idea just how much EVERYTHING just resonated with me! I'm truly speechless almost. I really have been, Inspite of having a large family, feeling quite alone lately. See I've only just recently more or less confirmed that I am highly on the "empath" spectrum. And having never known this about myself I've my whole life since a late teen pulled back from even family members at certain parts in my life. Then I kinda in my late 20s really messed up Read more… on drugs around the time my mother passed and things with my family have never really recovered. Now at 41 and three years clean I'm so desperately trying to mend relationships which hasn't been easy at all. And nothing in particular lve done wrong by them (though I did plenty) or any real outstanding resentments either way, it's just been so hard reconnecting and I just know at least with certain family members they would like this I so strongly feel. It's just become so complicated I guess. Anyways lol it did mention here not to open up to people especially ones you don't know lol, just wanted you to know how truly timely, I guess even synchronisticaly, this found me. Thankyou so much I feel like just showing my family this letter and let it stand! Lol. But I know it's on me I know to earn much and this I believe, I know! kinda got me to realise I've been going about this in such a wrong headed way. So again thankyou! All the best in the world!
LikeCandy, Lizzie, Calvin77 · 08.07.2020 15:04:57
Candy
icon-wio Candy wrote something in It's all about happiness
  • 23.06.2020 13:19:24
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Complex harmony

Beautiful

Candy
icon-wio Candy wrote something in Tools, Practices, Teachers
  • 19.06.2020 10:20:35
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eclipse 21 June 2020

This is really good to know. It's so important to remain in our own energy. I always need a reminder to do so. Thank you for sharing ✨

Likecrystalclear, Michyboo · Jump to discussion
Candy
icon-wio Candy wrote something in The MBSR Course Forum
  • 09.06.2020 11:43:35
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Nature's Gift

How wonderful! 🌈✨

Candy
icon-wio Candy created a topic in It's all about happiness
BLACK LIVES MATTER ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
A while ago, my colleague asked me if I'd like to start a BIPOC thread in the forum, and at the time I wasn't too keen. I feared excluding people or coming across in an inappropriate manner.
Today, I find this post necessary, because the truth is, I AM FURIOUS.
I am furious that people are still being brutally murdered for no other reason than the colour of their skin.
I am furious that those vile, trigger happy cops still get to go home to their families unscathed.
I am furious that black Read more…parents have to teach their young children to fear privileged white policemen.
I am furious that protestors are being arrested for taking a stand against this brutality while those killer cops are kept safe and unharmed.
I am furious that in the year 2020, amidst everything else going on in the world, there is still racism.
Yesterday, during #blackouttuesday, millions of people posted black squares on their social media in "support" of black people. But what was that post actually supporting? Social media is a great tool for activism, but when it's not used appropriately, it can cause more harm than good.
Black Lives Matter was founded in 2013 in response to the acquittal of Trayvon Martin's murderer. The hashtag #BlackLivesMatter was used millions of times yesterday under said black square, completely drowning out the vital messages and videos shared by the movement. It also made it dangerous for anyone using that hashtag to find or share crucial information.
#Blackouttuesday was a day to PROTEST. Black people in the US are fighting for their freedom for the umpteenth time, while others complain about the looting and burning of buildings and corporations built and run by the very hands of the oppressed.
Posting and reposting on social media does not excuse the way black people are treated and interacted with on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s great that so many want to help, but there are other ways to do so. This is the time to LISTEN to those who’ve had their lives and voices controlled by white supremacy for generations.
True allies are those who are willing to stand up, stand out, and stand alongside their black brothers and sisters, regardless of circumstance. True allies are those willing to educate themselves, their families, friends and acquaintances about racism and what they can do to stop or prevent it.
Black lives are in danger, not only in the US, but all over the world. If you really want to help, ask yourself, especially if you’re privileged, “what can I do TODAY to stand in solidarity with black people in a tangible way?” There are many options. You can support black-owned businesses, donate money to black causes, protest, send resources, and most importantly, you can learn and teach others how to be anti-racist.
From this week on, once a week I will share on this thread a book, business, or quote from a Person of Colour (POC) that I hope will inspire others to support and do the same.
✊🏾
“We are all part of the same consciousness
We are all connected
We are all Brothers and Sisters
No matter the colour of our skin
No matter the shape of our eyes
No matter the size of our body
We were designed to LOVE and HELP each other
To live in PEACE and HARMONY
Nurturing Gaia, Pachamama, Mother Earth”
Likesbckephas, Tine, DrAndy and 4 more… · 3 Replies
Tine
Tine Tine quote Candy:"True allies are those who are willing to stand up, stand out, and stand alongside their black brothers and sisters, regardless of circumstance. True allies are those willing to educate themselves, their families, friends and acquaintances about racism and what they can do to stop or prevent it.
Black lives are in danger, not only in the US, but all over the world. If you really want to help, ask yourself, especially if Read more… you’re privileged, “what can I do TODAY to stand in solidarity with black people in a tangible way?” There are many options. You can support black-owned businesses, donate money to black causes, protest, send resources, and most importantly, you can learn and teach others how to be anti-racist.
"
Thank you @Candy for clearly stating what is needed.
LikeBjoern, Lizzie · 04.06.2020 14:30:23
Lizzie
Lizzie Thank you for sharing Candy, it is so important that we talk about this openly. I think it's a first step of learning and educating ourselves and others about what racism still is today, and I have the privilege of educating myself on racism instead of having experienced it my whole life. I've found a lot of suggestions online of material that educate on racism and white privilege, and I'm learning A LOT. There is a big difference between being 'not racist' and being actively anti-racist, and Read more… that is so important to realise.
We can and should all do something; donate, support, protest, speak up when a friend or family member say something racist, educate ourselves and teach those around us.
I agree with @Bjoern that racism is an awkward and uncomfortable topic, and it's so important that we talk about it and acknowledge all the ways racism is very much present in our society.
LikeCalvin77, Tine, Bjoern · 04.06.2020 10:40:12
Bjoern
Bjoern Thank you for sharing this Candy! Nothing is easy these times, and it hadn’t before, but hopefully it will be better for next generations, if people can work on their behaviors, be more open to feel into others and give a hand when they have to. These days are a(nother) wakeup call for everyone to question things and to do changes personally and in their surroundings.
It´s cruel that it has to come this way, when it always has been there, but people are just stuck in their comfort zone with a Read more… „we change things tomorrow“ behavior, so let’s do it and start moving little pieces to have a better world for everyone.
I never felt i´m different or anyone is, but have to admit that those „white privileges“ (this sound so disgusting), always have been there and these roots never have been cut.
We, as a family always have tried to be supportive to help people in need, and always talked with my kids about these topics. But there just need to be more to reduce this bullshit and prevent that fascism is becoming normal once again, because dumb and anger people fear to lose their privileges, to which they have no rights at all.
Thanks for your advices, too. I will personally force me to do another step to help, donate and be more sensitive to those hidden racism behaviors out there, that we (white) sometimes even don’t notice or question anymore, which is horrible.
No place for racism, we are all one!
Ps: It felt strange to write this, because it’s easy to say something in these days, but what happens in a month or 6. And as well it felt ashaming, because even if we feel we do things for the cause, we (myself) feel and notice, it’s just not enough and this has to stay present forever
LikeLizzie, Calvin77, Tine · 04.06.2020 8:36:18
Candy
icon-wio Candy wrote something in It's all about happiness
  • 03.06.2020 15:16:27
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Do you care about friends?

I have close friends, but we live far away from each other. Sometimes months go by where we don't talk, but when we do, it's like nothing changed or happened in between.
I think having friends and close relationships is important to our overall wellbeing, but the lockdown has taught me that it's totally possible to be isolated and have no contact with people you love and care about you while you take care of and focus on YOU.

LikeLizzie, Kate-9917, Calvin77 · Jump to discussion