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We all understand the classic adage 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,' but have you heard of the newly-coined expression 'lemonading'? Sonia Vadlamani explores how lemonading – or adopting playfulness – can help you navigate life's uncertainties with greater ease. Life is full of uncertainties. And – as most of us have realized by now – no one can predict the outcome of the challenges that arise. We’ve all heard the saying 'when life gives you lemons make lemonade', but what if our minds don’t instinctively choose an outlook based on positive reframing? The good news is that we can consciously choose to adopt so-called 'lemonading' as a mindset. So, what is lemonading? Coined by researchers at Oregon State University, the term 'lemonading' refers to the ability to see the positive side when life presents you with metaphorical ‘lemons,’ thereby making it easier to navigate the obstacles. The central idea is that those with a more 'playful' outlook on life or the ability to shift their perspectives during uncertainty tend to be more resilient and find solutions with greater ease. Led by Dr Xiangyou Shen, the 2021 study analyzed how people coped with the COVID-19 pandemic, exploring how one’s perception of limitations and disruptions affected their ability to adapt to tough times. The research revealed that individuals who were more playful maintained a positive outlook on an uncertain future while staying realistic towards the limitations of the present. This ability to “creatively imagine and pursue positive possibilities to cultivate adaptive, enjoyable experiences while maintaining a clear-eyed realism about challenges” – lemonading – can help individuals thrive and find happiness, even amid chaos. How does lemonading work? It’s important not to confuse lemonading with toxic positivity. While toxic positivity dismisses setbacks and challenges, lemonading embraces the presence of hardships, allowing room for difficult emotions like sadness, disappointment and fear, while actively seeking ways to combat the situation. It’s about using your strength, determination, and creative problem-solving skills, rather than pretending everything is fine. Playfulness is an integral part of lemonading Instead of downplaying difficulties, lemonading encourages you to shift your perspective to ask yourself, “What resources do I have to work through this situation?” or “How can I approach this challenge in a creative way?". In principle, lemonading acknowledges that life gets tough sometimes – but when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. In other words, you make the best use of your resources. How to practise lemonading Lemonading may come more easily to some, but anyone can learn to turn life’s “lemons” into something better with a shift in perspective and a touch of playfulness. Here are some ways to develop the art of lemonading: 1. Cultivate an adaptable mindset When life gives you lemons, it’s natural to fall into a detrimental cycle of repetitive and intrusive thinking. Obsessive thoughts and rumination can take a toll on both mental and physical health, contributing to conditions like anxiety, OCD-related disorders, and even impaired decision-making ability. Indeed, you can navigate life more easily by training your mind to find the silver lining. “Instead of downplaying difficulties, lemonading encourages you to shift your perspective and ask, 'what resources do I have to work through this situation?'” Rather than dwelling on setbacks, make a conscious effort to shift your focus toward possibilities and opportunities in any scenario. This reframing technique is at the heart of lemonading – it not only allows you to feel stress-free faster but also encourages proactive problem-solving instead of remaining stuck in negativity. 2. Practise gratitude Gratitude is a powerful resource for lemonading, given that the human brain is wired toward negativity. Research shows that cultivating an attitude of gratitude can foster positive emotions and enhance our ability to cope with difficult situations. Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus to what’s going well in your life, while gratitude meditation is a great way to acknowledge your blessings. Setting aside a few minutes each day to reflect in silence on the things that bring you joy is a simple yet effective way to reframe your perspective. 3. Create your go-to set of positive affirmations Positive affirmations are statements that can help you navigate uncertainties and challenges with a more optimistic attitude. According to researchers at the University of Pennsylvania, practising self-affirmations can help rewire the brain’s perception of self-worth, leading to positive behavioural changes. RELATED: 23 Gratitude Affirmations For Attracting Happiness Affirmations can feel uncomfortable at first, so try speaking to yourself in the third person, like a supportive mentor or teacher would. For example, try saying something like, “Hey, you’ve got this!” or “You know this only seems harder in your mind than it actually is.” 4. Find the fun in everyday moments Laughing is easy when life is going well, but finding humour in difficult situations is much harder. However, embracing humour during difficult times may just be what you need for lemonading like a champ. According to the relief theory by Martin and Ford, humour acts like a relief valve, much like a steam pipe pressure valve in a hydraulic engine, allowing release for any built-up tension through laughter. Another study by Yale psychologist Oriana Aragon suggests that laughter strengthens resilience by helping us regulate our emotions in the face of challenge, aligning perfectly with the essence of lemonading. When life gives you lemons, embrace humour! 5. Switch things up occasionally While routines provide stability and structure to our day, shaking things up occasionally helps break monotony and spark creativity. This doesn’t mean abandoning your schedule entirely but rather making small, intentional changes – introducing something new while maintaining your overall rhythm. The concept of lemonading is centred around the idea that it’s OK to embrace change, since it promotes personal growth. MORE LIKE THIS: What Playfulness Can Do For Your Relationship These 4 NLP Techniques Will Change How You Think How to Prime Your Mind For Optimism Indeed, American philosopher Henry David Thoreau once observed how easily our brains get hardwired, leaving us feeling we’re stuck in a rut. Research on neurogenesis and neuroplasticity by Christopher Bergland suggests that we can rewire our brains to explore fresh perspectives, helping us approach challenges with renewed clarity. Try taking a different route to work, listening to a new music genre, or exploring an unfamiliar part of your city. These small shifts can dissolve your preconceived notions and reservations about change and open you up to new possibilities. 6. Incorporate play into your day Getting shit done shouldn’t be your only goal for the day – making it more enjoyable and memorable is just as important. Playfulness is a powerful trait for individuals facing adverse conditions, as revealed by a study by Rinat Feniger-Schaal et al., as it allows them to reclaim autonomy and build emotional resilience. “Surround yourself with people who embrace an abundance mindset – those who encourage you to find the positive side when life gives you lemons.” However, avoid the urge to tie play to a specific goal or outcome. Instead, focus on what genuinely brings you joy. Whether it’s baking cupcakes, taking a painting class, volunteering, or dancing to your favourite song, incorporating play can break the monotony and add lightness to your day. 7. Create a community you can count on The power of a strong, supportive community is a key aspect of lemonading. Surround yourself with people who embrace an abundance mindset – those who encourage you to find the positive side when life gives you lemons. Indeed, offering support is just as important as receiving it, as teaching resilience and helping others through tough times is a key aspect of lemonading. RELATED: The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits We often get so caught up in our struggles that we overlook what those around us are going through. By extending kindness and support, we foster an ‘affiliative connection,’ thus deepening our friendships and reinforcing meaningful relationships. In addition to strengthening bonds, small acts of kindness have other proven benefits, from alleviating stress and boosting immunity to releasing happy hormones like serotonin and endorphins, giving you the uplifting experience of the ‘helper’s high.’ Takeaway: when life gives you lemons Resorting to the advice 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade' may not always seem like the natural or even realistic choice during tough times. Indeed, it’s not always easy to regard the glass as half full when difficulties arise. However, looking on the bright side as a conscious practice can help us stay resilient and, in general, be happier. Adopting the lemonading mindset won’t make your setbacks vanish, but the strategies shared can help you navigate them with greater ease – and maybe even enjoy the process. ● shutterstock/Kit Viatkins, shutterstock/Roman Samborskyi happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Positive psychology | Motivation | Keys to Happiness | Unhappy in Life Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

The phrase 'you are what you eat' applies to our metal health too. These good mood food ideas from Calvin Holbrook could help improve symptoms of anxiety and depression. When you feel anxious, depressed or just a little 'meh', it can be tempting to turn to chocolate, ice cream or a huge bag of potato chips in a bid to comfort eat yourself happier. But before you open the fridge or cupboard door again, make sure you keep reading, because there’s growing evidence that you can actually boost your mood and happiness with food. Of course, it has to be the right type of food – what I refer to as 'good mood food'. In fact, the food you eat can have a direct impact on your mood and happiness. If you’re feeling down, it could be because your levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin are low. Serotonin is a happiness hormone that helps regulate your mood, making you feel positive and confident. A lack of it is believed to contribute towards negativity, worrying, irritability and even insomnia. In the human body, serotonin is converted from the amino acid tryptophan, which can be found in many high-protein foods. So, by eating foods containing tryptophan you can boost both serotonin levels and therefore your mood. Good mood foods: eat yourself happy Aside from tryptophan, other acids, vitamins and nutrients found in our foodstuffs can contribute to our overall mood, happiness and mental health. Improving your diet may also help you think more clearly and give more energy. RELATED: The gut-brain axis In fact, science is increasingly linking food to our mental health. A landmark 2015 article in the Lancet even stated that nutrition may be as essential to mental health as it is to cardiology, endocrinology and gastroenterology. So, with that, here’s our pick of the top 8 good mood foods that can positively impact your mental health and happiness. 1. Seeds and nuts Seeds and nuts are high in tryptophan which will be synthesized into serotonin, boosting and stabilizing your mood and also helping you to sleep better (and we all know how important good sleep is for mental well-being). “Serotonin, a so-called happiness hormone, is converted from the amino acid tryptophan, which can be found in many high-protein foods: good mood foods.” So, sow the seeds of health and add these to your shopping list: pumpkin seeds, almonds, cashews, chia seeds and pecans. Nuts can be expensive, so if you’re only going to add one of the selection to your shopping trolley, add walnuts: one handful of these brain-shaped nuts contains a whopping 318mg of tryptophan. Additionally, studies also suggest that a mere handful of nuts a day can also lower your risk of heart disease and cancer, so that's an added health bonus. 2. Salmon It’s pretty in pink, packed with nutritional goodness and a great good mood food. Salmon is full of omega-3 fatty acids, a key nutrient not produced in the body. Omega-3 fatty acids make up part of the membranes that surround human cells, especially in the brain. Studies have shown that consuming omega-3 fatty acid-containing fish such as salmon may ease depression. Additionally, salmon also fights inflammation, and increased inflammation in the body could play a role in depression, according to studies. Likewise, salmon is also a source of vitamin D, which is believed to help ease depression too. On top of that, this vitamin is essential for strong bones and teeth, as well as healthy muscles. In the pink: salmon's a good mood food © shutterstock/timolina 3. Eggs Eggs are a fantastic good mood food as they’re the source of several nutrients related to brain health –vitamins B6 and B12, choline and folate. The B vitamins are essential for a range of cellular and metabolic processes, and they also play an essential part in the production of various brain chemicals. Meanwhile, choline is an important micronutrient that the body uses to create acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter that helps regulate both mood and memory. “Eggs are a fantastic good mood food, as they’re the source of several nutrients related to brain health – vitamins B6 and B12, choline and folate.” Indeed, two separate studies showed that higher levels of choline intake were linked to improved memory and mental function. Eating eggs is an easy way to get choline, but you must eat the yolk of the egg. That’s because that yummy yellow stuff is where the choline is concentrated. • JOIN US! Chat and learn more about well-being and health in our online forums • Deficiency in folate and B12 has been linked to depression, and folate deficiency is common in elderly people with dementia. Studies also show that folic acid supplements can help minimize age-related mental decline, so it follows that getting enough folate through eggs and other sources may help you. 4. Dark green vegetables Your mother always told you to eat your greens, and she was right! Dark green vegetables are another rich source of folate. However, veggies such as broccoli and spinach are not only good mood foods because of folate’s mood-controlling affect, indeed, they contain other mental health benefits. Iron, found in decent amounts in leafy greens such as spinach, is involved in many neurological activities. Its deficiency is associated with anxiety and depressive symptoms. Iron also helps the body to make healthy red blood cells. A lack of Magnesium has also been linked to depressive and anxiety symptoms, and the great news is this mineral is abundant in leafy greens also. Broccoli and kale are also thought to help suppress tumor and other cancerous cell growths. Of course, eating all types of veggies, not just dark green ones, could be beneficial to mental health. A 2017 study from the University of Sydney looked at 60,000 Australians aged 45 and above and examined their fruit and vegetable consumption, lifestyle and psychological stress. The results, published in the British Medical Journal, showed that those who consumed three to four servings of veggies per day reduced their risk of stress by 12 per cent compared to those who ate just zero to one serving. Go green and veg out © shutterstock/4 PM Production 5. Tofu Another vegetarian staple, tofu is made from soybean curd. Soya products are rich sources of tryptophan and you can substitute tofu for pretty much any protein, making it an excellent source of tryptophan for vegetarians and vegans alike. Tofu also contains no cholesterol and is low in calories; two more reasons to add it to your shopping list. 6. Berries We all know that fruit is good for us, but did you know berries are a good mood food for boosting mental health? Strong scientific evidence from a 2012 showed that eating berry fruits has many beneficial brain effects, including helping to prevent age-related memory loss. The study proved that berries change the way neurons in the brain communicate. These signaling changes can improve motor control and cognition and help prevent brain inflammation that contributes to neuronal damage. RELATED: The 15 Best Prebiotics to Include in Your Diet Berry fruits also contain high levels of powerful antioxidants which help protect cells from damage by harmful free radicals. What’s more, they also contain flavonoids, which regulate mood and enhance memory. If that wasn’t enough, they’re high in vitamin C, fibre, potassium and digestive enzymes, but low in calories. Add them to your cereal, porridge or yoghurt for a tasty, fruity pick-me-up! Very berry: eat yourself happy 7. Turkey Many meat-eaters only tend to gobble down this bird over the festive season, but the reality is that turkey is one of the best good mood foods you can consume. Turkey is low in fat and high in protein. This means it’s also high in the tryptophan and, consequently, the feel-good chemical serotonin. Turkey also has decent levels of B6, which is great for fighting off depression, stress, and is a memory booster, too. 8. Dark chocolate OK, so let’s end our good mood food article on something we can all smile about! When we feel down, chocolate is often our top go-to comfort food, and if you pick the right kind of chocolate, you could see some benefits. Of course, the right kind is the antioxidant-rich dark variety, with a minimum of 70 per cent cocoa (put that Cadbury Dairy Milk back on the shelf!). “Strong scientific evidence exists that eating berry fruits has many beneficial brain effects, including helping to prevent age-related memory loss.” As mentioned earlier, iron deficiency is linked to depression and anxiety, so the good news is that a 100g bar of dark choc will provide you with 67 per cent of your recommended daily intake of iron (although that doesn’t mean you should eat two bars to hit your daily iron target – dark chocolate is still loaded with fat and calories). Studies have shown that eating dark chocolate also boosts mood, helping you to feel content and calmer. Dark chocolate also contains phenylethylamine which encourages your brain to release feel-good endorphins. In fact, phenylethylamine is the same chemical your brain creates when you’re falling in love! You should cocoa: chocs away! © shutterstock/Sea Wave Conclusion: good mood foods We all know that eating a diet that’s full of processed food, sugar and alcohol is not good for our well-being or happiness. Additionally, a lack of vital nutrients can be responsible for exacerbating the symptoms of some pre-existing mental health conditions. And consuming excessive amounts of coffee is also bad for anxiety and panic attacks. Instead, the list of good mood foods we’ve outlined above provide you with many of the essential nutrients, amino acids and vitamins that can help improve your mood and overall happiness levels. It's really worth taking time to think about the food we put in our bodies and how it can affect our mood. RELATED: How to Heal Your Gut – 11 Ideas to Restore Belly Health To boost the benefits of these good mood foods further, it’s been suggested that eating them in a raw state could provide optimal results. A 2018 study from New Zealand’s University of Otago found that people who consumed produce in its uncooked state reported higher levels of psychological well-being compared to those who ate mainly cooked alternatives. The study included 422 young adults, and researchers speculated that the micronutrients in fruits and vegetables are more easily-absorbed when consumed in their raw states, hence the benefits. You can find a lot of our good mood food suggestions included in these fantastic recipe ideas from the BBC. Why not give them a try? Happy eating! ● Main image: shutterstock/rawpixel.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Stress management | Gut health | Probiotics & Prebiotics | Tea for bloating Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also enjoys hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

The benefits of Vedic meditation are many: improved sleep, clearer thought, and lowered stress. Meditation teacher Ann Vrlak explains how to practise this ancient meditative form and guides you on the power of the vedic meditation mantra. Vedic meditation is an ancient form of meditation practice – in fact, it’s the very first. The many styles of meditation that you see today all originated from this original practice. The source of Vedic meditation is the Vedas, a series of texts that form the basis of Indian philosophy, all branches of yoga, and the science of Ayurvedic medicine. For centuries, all three of these disciplines have had an enormous impact on people’s health and well-being around the world. The Vedas lay out a comprehensive path to a happy and meaningful life through experiential learning. When you practise Vedic meditation, you will go on a journey of self-discovery and apply what you learn to all aspects of your daily living. So, what is Vedic meditation? Vedic meditation is centred on a mantra – a phrase that is repeated either out loud or silently in your mind. “Mantra” is made up of two Sanskrit words: “man” which means mind, and “tra” which means vehicle or transport. So, a vedic meditation mantra is a vehicle to take your mind from one place to another: perhaps from the busy activity of your day-to-day mind to a deeper, quieter place, that is often covered up by that activity. Vedic meditation uses mantras, and can be done at home The most ancient mantras are in the Sanskrit language because Sanskrit is what’s known as a ‘vibrational’ language. What does that mean exactly? It means that the sound of the words, their vibrations, create the experience of the words’ meaning. For example, the Sanskrit word for peace is “shanti.” It’s said that when “shanti” is repeated, the sound itself invokes the feeling of peace. Or when the word for compassion, “karuna,” is repeated, you will be filled with a feeling of compassion. “When you practise Vedic meditation, you will go on a journey of self-discovery and apply what you learn to all aspects of your daily living.” And you probably already had experiences of how relaxing sounds can be. The sound of a running river. Or birds singing. In fact, you don’t relax through thinking about the river or the bird, but from the sounds themselves. Similarly, using a vedic mantra meditation gives your brain something innately healthy to focus on – a break from a busy mind. RELATED: What Is a Sound Bath Meditation and What Are Its Benefits? It’s worth pointing out that Vedic meditation also helps you to be more mindful and do one thing at a time (something which is deeply calming). Indeed, studies have shown that multitasking is actually stressful for our minds and bodies and, in fact, it may not even be truly possible. What are the benefits of vedic meditation? So, before explaining how to practise Vedic meditation with mantras, let’s take a look at its main benefits. If you feel you are healthy, what would that look like to you? A generally healthy person would: Sleep well Vedic meditation nurtures a healthy nervous system. It activates your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your body that governs relaxation and rejuvenation. Additionally, it helps to reduce stress chemicals that accumulate in your body, and allows a deeper, more restful sleep. Feel relaxed and be able to relax when needed Anxiety and stress are epidemics in our modern world. The relaxing effects of vedic meditation can be used any time you’re aware of being anxious or stressed. And the healing, anti-anxiety effects build over time and lower your overall stress level. Think clearly and creatively Have you ever noticed that when you’re anxious it’s hard to think? The ability to relax in the moment and have a generally low stress level allows your brain to work better. Areas across your brain work together more efficiently so you are more creative and productive. When your nervous system is rejuvenated, you have more resources at your fingertips to respond to your life wisely and compassionately. Be emotionally balanced and calm Your emotions have physical and mental components that can become a vicious cycle, creating upset or intense suffering. Just as your thinking becomes clearer and more holistic through vedic meditation, your emotions also become clearer and more grounded. Have all the energy you need Because Vedic meditation activates the rest and rejuvenate part of your brain, because you’re sleeping well, and because you’re reducing your stress level, your energy levels should soar. Be content Taken all together, doesn’t this sound like a recipe for contentment? You are physically rested and relaxed, and your thinking and emotions are clear and calm, supporting you in your best intentions. All of these things make your connections and relationships with people easier and more fulfilling. And, you have energy for the things that matter to you most. How to practise vedic meditation First, it’s important to know you don’t need any religious or spiritual belief to do Vedic meditation. All you need is a mantra, a few minutes of quiet, and a spirit of adventure. As I mentioned earlier, traditional mantras are in Sanskrit. Give one of the vedic meditation mantras below a try. If for any reason you’re not comfortable with them, you can use words in your own language, like “peace” or “compassion.” How to do vedic meditation in 6 steps Decide on a length of time to practice and do your best to stick to it. You can start with 10 minutes and build up to 40. 1. Choose your mantra. Here are a few traditional Sanskrit mantras OM. The primordial mantra, the sound of the universe or, in Indian philosophy, the sound of pure consciousness. Repeating this mantra can help you let go of personal worries and connect with the universal sound. SO HUM is another ancient mantra which means 'I am that'. Not only can you connect with pure consciousness, you can experience yourself as that consciousness. OM MANI PADME HUM is a lovely mantra meaning “the jewel in the lotus.” Lotus flowers grow in mud. This mantra invokes your power of transformation, your ability to overcome things and find the jewel in difficulty. 2. Find a quiet space When you’re first learning any kind of meditation, it’s best to take time away from your usual daily activities in a quiet space. It can be as simple as a comfortable cushion or chair in the corner of a room. As you become more experienced, it will be easier to close your eyes for a few minutes of practice wherever you are. Find a quiet spot to practise vedic meditation 3. Sit and connect with your body Take a comfortable sitting posture, physically relax as much as you can, and let your attention gently scan your body. Take a few deep breaths, letting go a bit of any tension or stress each time you exhale. 4. Use your mantra Bring your mantra to mind and, if you like, its meaning as well. Know there’s nothing you need to do or create; you’re simply repeating your chosen mantra. Start by repeating it softly, out loud. Focus on the feeling of the sound, how the vibrations feel in your throat, your heart, your stomach – wherever you feel it most. “Using vedic meditation mantras nurtures a healthy nervous system and helps to reduce stress chemicals. It also allows a deeper, more restful sleep.” When you find that your attention has drifted to a memory or a plan or anything else, that’s all part of the practice. Notice where your attention is and gently come back to repeating your mantra. After a moment or two, start to repeat the mantra more and more quietly, until you're repeating it silently inside. RELATED: Turning Pain Into Compassion: Tonglen Meditation 9 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation Does Meditation Really Work? Here's What Science Says If you like, you can lengthen the silence between the repetitions, with the mantra coming out of and going back in to silence. If you find you become distracted in longer silences, come back to repeating the mantra more often. 5. Returning to body awareness When your practice time is almost done, let go of the mantra and bring your attention back to the physical sensations in your body. Again, gently scan your body and notice if areas of your body feel different than before. Also, notice the state of your mind and your emotions. There’s no right or wrong way to feel, just notice what is here for you. 6. Close with a breath When you’re ready, end with another few deep, relaxing breaths. The takeaway: what is vedic meditation? Just like any other activity or skill you learn, getting the full benefits of vedic meditation and mantras takes time. However, by practising it you will become sensitive to subtle body, mind and emotional states – becoming a keen observer of yourself. Indeed, you may notice quite quickly small shifts in your stress level, mood and well-being as you practice. And, you may find, like so many people do, that the act of vedic meditation itself creates an oasis where you experience just a little more relaxation, a little more contentment, and a little more joy. A little of any of these experiences goes a long way in improving your happiness levels! ● Images: shutterstock/Zdenka Darula, shutterstock/fizkes happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Gratitude | Acceptance | Altruism | Volunteering Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

For those unfamiliar with the term, omnisexuality can be confusing. Sonia Vadlamani breaks down the meaning of omnisexuality, how it plays out in relationships, and debunks common myths surrounding it, including how it differs from pansexuality. Omnisexuality is a form of multisexuality or plurisexuality where individuals are attracted to people of all genders, including male, female, and nonbinary people. It’s a term recognized within the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (LGBTQ+) community, alongside other non-conforming and non-heteronormative gender identities. However, this does not mean that omnisexual people experience attraction to every person they meet. Indeed, like with any other non-monosexual orientations, omnisexual attraction is unique to each individual, and its understanding continues to evolve over time. Omnisexuals can be attracted to all genders People who identify as omnisexual often face unique social challenges, as well as distinct issues regarding relationships and health, which require specialized support and care. A deeper understanding and finding the right support network are essential for fostering a sense of belonging and acceptance. Omnisexual vs pansexual: how they differ According to LGBTQIA Resource Center, both omnisexual and pansexual people experience affection, romantic attraction or sexual desire toward individuals of all genders and sexual orientations. However, while their attraction is inclusive, there are some key differences regarding how they experience and express them. “Omnisexual people may have identified previously with a different sexual orientation before they had a chance to fully understand what omnisexuality is.” Gender blindness is one of the defining aspects of pansexuality. Pansexual individuals do not consider gender a relevant factor in their attraction to others. In contrast, omnisexual people, while being open to people of all genders, are aware of gender in their attraction. Indeed, omnisexual people can also experience distinct emotional and physical preferences for people of different genders. For instance, here’s what statements of omnisexual vs. pansexual individuals may sound like: Pansexual: “Gender doesn’t influence me when it comes to dating. I’m attracted to people regardless of their gender.” Omnisexual: “I’m attracted to people of all genders, although I mostly tend to date men.” Dispelling myths about omnisexual people Like many other multisexual identities, omnisexuality frequently faces misunderstanding and mislabeling. Indeed, it’s easier to find information about some multisexual categories like bisexuality or pansexuality, because of which there may be bias or confusion regarding what separates omnisexual vs pansexual or other plurisexual orientations. People may not understand what is omnisexuality and not much literature can be found on omnisexuality to help the matters either. Here are some prevalent myths about the meaning of omnisexual orientation which we will aim to debunk: Myth 1: Omnisexuality is a recent trend Contrary to the popular belief, omnisexuality is not a new phenomenon – it has always existed but is only gaining recognition and understanding in recent years. Unlike pansexual people, omnisexuals are aware of gender in their attraction In fact, the term “omnisexuality” was first mentioned by beat poet Lawrence Lipton in the nonfictional classic The Holy Barbarians in 1959, and later described as “a state of attraction to all sexes” in the text Sexual Choices: An Introduction to Human Sexuality by Gilbert D Nass in 1984. However, it’s only in recent years that omnisexuality has been discussed more openly, thanks to the rise of the internet and social media. Myth 2: Omnisexual people are easily attracted to anyone This myth, like the other ones, arises mostly from lack of understanding about omnisexuality. While omnisexual individuals are attracted to people of all genders, they still have distinct preferences and standards when it comes to forming emotional, romantic, or sexual connections. Myth 3: Omnisexual people are uncertain about their sexuality Several omnisexual people may have identified previously with a different sexual orientation before they had a chance to fully understand what omnisexuality is. This doesn’t mean they are indecisive or confused – it simply indicates their journey toward self-discovery and coming to terms with their sexual identity with time. “Both omnisexual and pansexual people experience romantic attraction or sexual desire toward individuals of all genders and sexual orientations.” Indeed, omnisexuality is a distinct and valid sexual identity. Omnisexuality refers to the capacity to feel attraction for all genders while acknowledging individual preferences. Therefore, being in a heterosexual relationship, for instance, doesn't make them confused or uncertain – they’re simply experiencing attraction within the extensive spectrum of their sexuality. Omnisexuality doesn't equal polyamorous Myth 4: Omnisexual people are polyamorous In contrast, omnisexual individuals have varied needs and distinct preferences, just like people of any other sexual orientation. They can choose monogamous relationships, open relationships, or practice ethical non-monogamy – each of which is a valid choice. Ultimately, relationship dynamics are a matter of personal preference for any individual, regardless of their orientation. How omnisexuality works in a relationship Identity invalidation – wherein others ignore, deny, or refuse to accept one’s sexual identity – is a common challenge faced by bisexual individuals and, by extension, others on the multisexuality spectrum, including omnisexual people. This lack of recognition can have a negative impact on their mental health and overall well-being. While the meaning of omnisexual orientation pertains to attraction to people of all genders, a partner’s gender can still influence one’s romantic dynamics and relationships. Thanks to social media, more omnisexual individuals have been inspired to share their stories and experiences, helping to raise awareness and expand understanding of the multisexual spectrum. “While the meaning of omnisexual orientation pertains to attraction to people of all genders, a partner’s gender can still influence one’s romantic dynamics.” However, your friends, family members, work associates, and partner may not be familiar with the meaning of omnisexuality. Taking the time to explain your identity and preferences is the most effective way to foster understanding, build trust, strengthen relationships, and create a more supportive environment for yourself and others like you. Open discussions about omnisexuality in relationships are key to breaking misconceptions and promoting acceptance. The omnisexual flag The omnisexual flag serves as a powerful symbol of pride, visibility, and the recognition of omnisexuality as a valid and distinct sexual orientation. The flag features five horizontal stripes of equal width, each representing different aspects of the identity: Light pink and light blue to denote the gender spectrum. Dark pink to represent femininity and attraction to women. Dark blue to represent masculinity and attraction to men. Purple to symbolize attraction to people of all genders, including non-binary people, gender-fluid people, and other gender-diverse individuals. Flag of omnisexuality Takeaway: Understanding what is omnisexuality If someone you know identifies as an omnisexual, you can be an ally – not just to them but also to others on the multisexual spectrum – by joining support groups, advocating for LGBTQ+ rights, and supporting inclusive policies. Awareness begins with self-education. So, start by educating yourself through various resources to develop a well-rounded understanding of omnisexuality. And – if you identify as omnisexual – sharing personal experiences and explaining how omnisexuality has shaped your relationships can help others view it as a valid orientation. This approach also helps foster meaningful conversations around multisexual orientations, promoting a broader acceptance. • Images: shutterstock/Lomb, shutterstock/Maxim Studio, shutterstock/AlvaroMP, shutterstock/NuvaFrames happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Can an abundant mindset radically affect our choices and determine the course of our lives? Sonia Vadlamani believes so. Here she shares explains the meaning of abundance mindset and mentality, and offers eight simple yet effective ways to cultivate them. When Henry Ford famously stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right”, he was emphasizing how our attitude and beliefs determine our success or failure. While we may not realize it, self-limiting thoughts can have a lasting negative impact on our lives, whereas positive reinforcements and a bright outlook on life can help us make better choices, resulting in successful outcomes. The term 'abundance mindset' was first coined by Stephen R Covey in 1989, in his best-selling book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. According to Covey, those choosing an abundance or abundant mindset believe that there are unlimited resources available for every individual, and that long-term success warrants creation of a win-win situation for all. Abundance mindset vs scarcity mindset In contrast, Covey refers to scarcity mindset as viewing life as a limited resource, wherein one can get only a share of the pie, while the rest is reserved for others. Those with scarcity mindset believe there just isn’t enough love, time, or money out there for everyone: each thought and every action of theirs is an endeavour to grab the limited opportunities. Adopt a mindset of abundance for positive changes An experimental study based on neuroimaging revealed that abundance mindset enables individuals to make goal-oriented decisions. On the contrary, those with scarcity mindset perceive limited resources to be available to them, which may impact their decision-making abilities adversely. A victim of the scarcity mindset myself until a few years ago, it took me a while to realize that I was limiting myself by remaining in the ‘if only’ trap – assuming that my life would be perfect if only I earned a certain amount of money, bagged that exclusive contract, went on that dream vacation, etc. When I eventually realized that my scarcity mindset was confining me in a victim complex, I consciously looked for ways to expand my awareness and recognize all the growth opportunities around myself. Indeed, escaping the scarcity bubble might seem impossible at first, but consistent focus and determined action plan drawn towards developing an abundance mindset helps immensely. “Those with an abundance mindset and mentality can perceive the highest potential in every situation. There are always more options, great possibilities and unlimited resources for the abundance-minded.” Sometimes, it may be easy to confuse scarcity mindset with a temporary setback, like being in financial shortfall. Being broke could be a short-lived situation in your life – in fact, not having access to everything you ever desired could prove to be a valuable lesson and help you to be grateful for everything you do have. How is an abundance mindset beneficial? An abundant mindset or abundance mentality is believed to favor personal and spiritual growth. Psychology professor Carol Dweck revealed that people with “growth mindset” believe that talent is merely the starting point and abilities can be honed with consistent efforts towards betterment. These individuals tend to be more equipped to deal with stressful situations and believe in their ability to generate more successful outcomes as compared to those with a 'fixed mindset'. Individuals with abundance mindset are perceived to be: more creative and inspired to create favorable outcomes for everyone around unfazed even through adverse circumstances more assured about their ability to create high-value results of an amplified magnitude more focused on creating meaningful, unhindered, satisfying life experiences 8 ways to develop a more abundant mindset Here are some practical and effective ways to start creating a life of abundance. Incorporate them into your life and try to witness positive changes. 1. Believe in infinite possibilities Those with an abundance mindset and mentality can perceive the highest potential in every situation. While scarcity mindset imposes a perceived limit on the resources available, there are always more options, great possibilities and unlimited resources for the abundance-minded. RELATED: 7 Ways to Develop a Can-Do Attitude Training your mind to see limitless opportunities in place of shortcomings can be a gradual process. You can start by deliberately expanding your awareness while relaxing your focus, and then asking yourself how you could approach a situation from a different perspective, in a scenario where you know you couldn’t fail. 2. Understand the power of your thoughts “What you think, you become. The mind is everything,” Buddha taught us. The law of manifestation asserts that our inner world reflects our outer reality, and that our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions determine what we manifest into the physical world around us. Taking time to notice the kind of self-limiting or scarcity-based thoughts you experience would allow you to identify your thought patterns and shift them gradually towards abundance. An abundance mentality encourages the best version of you 3. Stop comparing yourself to others Scarcity mindset can compel individuals to constantly evaluate how they compare with others. However, those with abundance mindset tend to only compare themselves with regards to the vision and standards they set for their own selves. 4. Incorporate gratitude as a daily practice Gratitude is a powerful emotion for creating abundance. In fact, there is ample scientific research that establishes the benefits of gratitude as a daily practice, like improved mental health, stronger relationships, and enhanced personal happiness. RELATED: Top 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the easiest ways to integrate gratefulness as a daily ritual and harness the benefits of an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude meditation can also help you build a habitual focus on appreciation of good things in life. 5. Build win-win situations for all Those with scarcity mindset view life as a defined 'cake' and believe that if someone gets a big slice of the cake, the others are left with smaller portions. Abundance mentality views life as a sum of collaborative efforts instead of competitive endeavors. RELATED: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! Creating win-win solutions through interaction and collaboration can lead to mutually favourable results – this way, there is plenty of cake for everybody. 6. Be willing to learn According to Covey, the desire for learning and growth towards mastery experiences forms the basis for abundance mindset. The key to abundance is to make learning a habit and to create mastery experiences in at least one area of your interest. “Abundance mindset is believed to favor personal and spiritual growth. People with growth mindset believe that talent is merely the starting point and abilities can be honed with consistent efforts towards betterment.” James Clear, the author of the best-selling book The Power of Habit explains how the principle of ‘marginal gains’ or tiny improvements on a daily basis can aggregate over time. This brings about a dramatic shift in how we achieve successful results. Indeed, by making 1 per cent improvements in small areas in your life consistently, you could witness exponential growth and create remarkable results for yourself as well as others around you. 7.Create daily affirmations that encourage abundance Scarcity mindset stems from fear; be it the fear of inadequate resources or insufficient skill to achieve one’s goals, etc. An experimental study by J. David Creswell et al pointed out the benefits of self-affirmation in the form of improved problem-solving abilities even in stressful situations. RELATED: How to Find Meaning in Life: 7 Strategies Using daily affirmations can help bring about a gradual yet steady shift in your mindset from scarcity to abundance. Start with jotting down your fears and worries. This will help you expand your awareness. Next, make a suitable action plan as a response to these concerns in a way that will enable you to overcome your fear of failure, so you can lead a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Start your day with positive affirmations 8. Surround yourself with others with abundance mindset “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” stated Jim Rohn, and with good reason. Accordingly, choose to invest your time and resources in building a community of people who elevate your outlook on life and bring out the best in you. This will also help you minimize the unproductive time spent with ‘negative nellies’ or unsupportive and unproductive people who add no value to your life and only create stressful situations instead. Surrounding yourself with positive-minded and empowering people will help you develop an abundance mindset. Takeaway: Meaning of abundance mindset and mentality An abundance mindset and abundant mentality can have a positive effect on our physical health, emotional well-being, happiness, relationships and even our financial decisions. Keeping that scarcity mindset at bay might seem difficult to begin with, but by following the eight tips above you´ll be able to see that abundance mindset develop and shine through. • Images: shutterstock/sun ok, shutterstock/KieferPix, shutterstock/Hitdelight happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Positive psychology | Motivation Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

To celebrate World Creativity and Innovation Day, Calvin Holbrook chatted with illustrator Ava Marie Puckett – AKA Ava Marie Doodles – about her kick-ass illustrations and products that are designed to lift your spirits! Ava Marie Puckett – otherwise known as Ava Marie Doodles – is the brains behind Aviatepress, a beautiful illustration and design brand that sells handmade prints, cards and pins and the like with a feel-good and well-being twist. In her own words, Ava creates “positive, relatable doodles that garner human connection.” Indeed, her work is bright, witty and is full of messages, often touching on themes such as gratitude, happiness and kindness. In fact, Ava's positive, witty and uplifting doodles promoting self-care have become a huge hit across the globe – she currently boasts 50K followers on Instagram where she regularly posts her new designs and thoughts. We had a quick chat with Ava about her artwork and approach to mental health to celebrate World Creativity and Innovation Day. Calvin: Ava! So nice to chat You’ve based in Nashville, Tennessee. How did the recent tornado tragedy there affect you and how have the community responded? Ava: “Luckily, I was not physically affected, but some of my day-to-day life has been affected and I’ve definitely felt an emotional impact. It’s hard to see the devastation on homes and businesses that I love, just a few miles away from my own home. My studio space was slightly damaged, with power out for a couple weeks and some exterior damage from wind.” “I've definitely felt the community pull together – we are all trying to help in some way, whether that’s through volunteering, donations, or financial contributions. It’s amazing to see how much everyone was willing to give.” Ava Puckett in her studio And how are you coping with your mental health during the lockdown. Is it affecting your creativity? “I'm trying to take it one day at a time and give myself some grace as I adjust to the current climate. It's tricky, though – some things that I normally do on a daily basis to keep my mental health in check have fallen behind. I think we are all just trying to cope and do the best we can.” “As far as my creativity – it's gone up and down, just like my mood! Sometimes I find a bit of inspiration and run with it, but other times I feel sad and lonely – unmotivated to do anything at all. I did have a flash of inspiration this morning, though, which is a good way to start the week!” You’re very candid about your mental health through your blog and artwork: how does being open about these issues help you to deal with them? “It’s definitely become a part of my self-care routine. In fact, I think of it as a journal and artistic outlet. Journaling and doodling are tools that I’ve found to be very helpful in connecting the dots between feelings, experiences, and struggles I’ve had. And to be able to connect with others on what I’m experiencing, or help others feel less alone, is a very powerful thing.” I make collages and it really helps me to get into a state of ‘flow’. Does that happen with you? How does creativity help you deal with your own anxiety and/or depression? “I do. It’s amazing when you can get in that flow state, but it definitely requires a lot of work before I can get there. I’m so easily distracted by podcasts, social media, and my to-do list that I feel like I don’t get to the flow state as much as I’d like. It’s always something I’m working on.” “I’d say my personal illustration work makes me feel creative and less anxious, but since I do it for work as well, I sometimes use other creative or physical outlets to get to the flow state – like music, running, and yoga.” I’ve been living with panic attacks and anxiety for some time. What's your coping mechanism for attacks? “Oh man, panic attacks are the worst! I’ve had two or three in my life, which were both brought on my extreme situational stress. The last time I had one, I was much more prepared and in a safe place. I was able to just sit on my floor, breathe through it, and accept that it was happening. “I closed my eyes and just let my body freak out for a bit – I even made some noises like I was going into labor or something, which my therapist said was actually a healthy way to get through it!” How long have you been going to therapy and how has it changed your life? “I think I’ve been going for two-and-a-half years now and it’s been great! I’ve seen such a difference in my day-to-day life and stress levels. I’ve worked through a lot of family and personal issues I didn’t even realize were causing me anxiety: issues with food and body image, for example.” “Journaling and doodling are tools that I’ve found to be very helpful in connecting the dots between feelings, experiences, and struggles I’ve had.” “Therapy has given me validation, ways to identify negative self-talk, and an outlet to work through problems that I had been ignoring. I’ve also gotten a lot better about confrontation and standing up for myself.” What other things do you do for your self-care? “Journal, yoga, baths, walks, treats from Jeni’s, taking care of my plants, and meditation.” What are your best-selling items? “I’d say my wedding-related cards do really well, as well as my Butts Print and my Living and Learning Print.” What feedback have you had from others about how your work has helped them? “I’ve received a lot of feedback from people saying my illustrations have made them feel more understood and less alone, which is amazing. It’s made me feel the same way when I hear from others that they can relate to my work and what I’m going through.” And finally, who are your mental health heroes? Who inspires you? “My sister-in-law, who is a therapist and connected me with my therapist. Brené Brown, and other illustrators like Stacie Swift and Haley Weaver.” ● If you love Ava's designs, be sure to follow her Instagram for a daily dose of self-care doodles! Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our magazine and is a lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage. He also makes gay artwork. Find out more.

Meditation before bed helps us to wind down our bodies and mind after a long day, encouraging restful and peaceful sleep. This 'how to meditate in bed for beginners' guide from Ann Vrlak will teach you all you need to know, including a simple 3-step practice. If you've ever tried meditation, you may know that one of the big challenges for many people is not falling asleep. So, it’s understandable that you might see falling asleep during a meditation practice as proof that you are “doing it wrong.” However, there are times when falling asleep during or right after meditation is actually proof you’re “doing it right!” Welcome to our short guide on how to meditate in bed for beginners. Our focus is how to use meditation before sleep, but please use this guide whenever you want are seeking a period of calm or rejuvenation in your day. Meditation before bed helps you wind down for sleep While it’s true that most meditation practices are centered around paying attention and staying alert, meditation is also uniquely suited to help you transition from a busy day, to a relaxed state, and then into a restful sleep. In fact, lying down while meditating or the traditional practice of yoga nidra have benefits that sitting meditations don’t. As you're probably aware, insomnia and poor sleep are worldwide problems. Tools that help you to fall asleep easily and have quality sleep are invaluable for your health and well-being. The benefits of meditating in bed Let’s look first at some of the many mental, physical and emotional benefits to learning how to meditate in bed. From Activity to Sleep The overall benefit is enabling the transition we have mentioned from your daily level of activity, into a state that is conducive to sleep. Because you can’t make yourself sleep! You need to create the conditions that activate your body’s natural sleep mechanisms. You may already have noticed that winding down at the end of a stressful day is not always easy. “Our focus here is on how to use meditation before sleep, but please use this this guide on how to meditate in bed for beginners whenever you're seeking a period of calm or rejuvenation during your day.” Meditation in bed is a perfect practice for this transition. You are lying down, able to relax physically and mentally. You turn your attention inward away from external responsibilities to your body and breath–something that can be impossible to do in the middle of a busy day. A Signal to Relax When you meditate in bed, it’s a clear signal to your body that your intention is to prepare for sleep. Studies have shown that a familiar sleep routine is a key support for your body to fall asleep easily. Your body “remembers” this is the time to let go and sets your sleep mechanisms in motion. When you meditate in bed with some regularity, this will create a powerful sleep signal for both your body and mind. Not All Sleep is Created Equal Have you ever woken up from a night’s sleep feeling more tired than when you lay down? There can be a lot of reasons for a poor sleep, but the takeaway is that, just because you had 8 hours of sleep, it doesn’t mean it was quality, restorative sleep. MORE LIKE THIS: Deep Sleep Meditation: the Benefits You Can Bring to Bed 14 Sleep Hacks to Get a Good Night's Rest Cat Naps: 5 Benefits of Taking a Siesta One of the most common obstacles to quality sleep is a busy, worried mind. If you meditate in bed, before trying to fall asleep, you are training your mind to move into a quieter state first. This can make the quality of your sleep deeper and more restful. Making Bedtime a Time for Reflection Meditation in bed is also a way to end your day with some quiet reflection, before going to sleep. A few minutes of kind, compassionate reflection on your day can be a wonderful way to let go of any worry that may be lingering in your mind. You can use meditation to consciously relax your body and mind, and do your best to let worry go – just for now. Reflect kindly and compassionately on your day before resting You’re in a Receptive State When you’re winding down after a tiring day, your body and mind are ready to relax! You’re in a receptive state for slowing down your thinking, letting go of emotions and relaxing your body. How to Meditate in Bed for Beginners Here is our step-by-step guide for how to meditate in bed. We’re going to describe two classic meditation practices designed to connect you with your body and help you relax, bit by bit: a body scan and a progressive relaxation practice. Simply follow our three-step guide: 1. Begin Take a few minutes to get as comfortable and cosy as you can. Use blankets and pillows to warm and support your body in whatever ways feel best to you. When you're comfortable, let your eyes gently close. Allow your body to rest completely on the bed and begin to pay attention to the movements of your breath. 2. Do a Body Scan Beginning at the top of your head, pay attention to the sensations in your body. What do you feel in your scalp? Is it warm or cold, tight or relaxed? Whatever you notice is good. When you feel you have made connection with the sensations in your scalp, move into your forehead and cheeks. What do you notice here? Let your attention move gradually down through all parts of your body from your head to your toes – from your shoulders and arms, your torso, your legs and feet. Notice, quietly to yourself, whatever you sense in each part. Are there aches or pains? Can you feel your pulse in any of these body parts? Take notice and be in the moment with these bodily sensations you may not recognise during the day. When you’ve reached your toes, rest for a moment. Feel the weight of your body sinking into the bed. Focus on the contact of your body on the mattress. Enjoy the quiet and stillness. Notice your body as a whole field of sensation and energy, lying here, resting. 3. Do a Progressive Relaxation Practice This practice is a similar movement of your attention through your body. The difference is you consciously tense and relax each part of your body. Many people find this practice is easier to do with larger parts of the body, rather than very specific parts. For example, trying tensing your whole arm vs just your forearm. Mediating in bed needs no experience: beginner's welcome! Starting with your face, tense up your forehead, eyes and cheeks. Tighten all the muscles as best you can. Then, let the whole area relax, feeling the muscles all letting go. Imagine your facial skin drooping downwards to the mattress. Notice the difference between the tension and the release. Continue this progressive relaxation practice all the way down your body to your feet and toes. Notice how your body feels when you complete the practice. Is it lighter or heavier? And how does your mind feel? Are you aware of any changes in your body or mind from before you began these two practices? It’s really important to notice the effects of your practice – it can boost your motivation to make it a regular habit. When you are ready, gently congratulate yourself for trying these practices. And let yourself relax even more, until sleep comes. Takeaway: how to meditate in bed We hope you’ve enjoyed this guide on how to meditate in bed for beginners and feel excited to give it a try! In the multitasking, speed-oriented world we live in, it is not so surprising that slowing down into sleep is not always as easy as it sounds. Meditation in bed is a simple, safe, healthy way for you to help your body make a restful descent into sleep. You can create a space between your day and sleep where you turn your attention inward and reflect gently on – and let go of – your day. A healthy sleep routine is one of the best ways to reset your body’s natural sleep clock, and meditation can be a powerful, safe part of that routine. Sweet dreams! • Images: shutterstock/Dzmitryieu Dzmitry, shutterstock/ArtOfPhotos, shutterstock/shurkin_son happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Mindfulness | Stress Management | Gratitude Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

The global pandemic, political turmoil, and now the ongoing cost-of-living crisis has left many of us feeling increasingly stressed, anxious and upset. With that in mind, Dee Marques shares 11 practical tips to feel stress-free quickly – all backed by science. Stress is one of the biggest health challenges we face today. While a small amount of positive stress can be good for us, ongoing chronic stress can lead to or exacerbate many serious health problems. And with Coronavirus still testing the health and well-being of the globe, it's become increasingly difficult to remain free from stress, with many of us noticing our anxiety levels are on the rise. Indeed, in the US, more than 55 per cent of people claim to feel stressed during the day, a figure that’s well above the global average (35 per cent). Meanwhile, in the UK, nearly 75 per cent of adults say they have felt overwhelmed by stress at some point over the past year. In fact, stress isn't “just stress”, since it affects both our mental and physical health. Studies show a close link between stress and mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. Other side effects of unmanaged stress include anger, low self-esteem, loneliness and poor memory. As for its potential impact on the body, stress can cause anything from headaches to digestive disorders, insomnia, skin and hair problems, and increased chances of developing heart conditions. 11 ways to feel stress-free fast Since stress is so widespread, you may wonder if it really is possible to become free from stress. While that may seem hard to achieve, there are definitely things you can do to reduce your stress and anxiety levels that do not require a great deal of time or money. Here are 11 ideas you can try to reduce stress and start to feel calm quickly. 1. The power of houseplants One of the simpler (and more enjoyable) steps you can take is creating a stress-free environment. We can’t always do that at large scale, but there are little things you can do in you home and personal working space. Indoor plants, as humble as they may seem, have become increasingly popular recently and for good reason – they can boost enormously your ability to cope with stress. Plants may reduce blood pressure and stress levels shutterstock/Amilao In fact, a Japanese study compared the feelings produced by transplanting a plant vs working on a computer. The result showed that while the group who worked on a computer had higher blood pressure, those who interacted with plants felt calm and soothed. Indeed, adding indoor plants to your home environment can make a world of a difference and help you to become stress-free. 2. Breathing techniques Our bodies react to stress by going into overdrive. Studies confirm a link between slow controlled breathing and the nervous system: taking deep breaths reminds the brain that it’s time to calm down, and then the brain sends the same message to the body to stabilize the heart rate and release tension in the muscles. If you’re not familiar with the benefits of controlled breathing, it’s time to explore some techniques that can help you control anxiety and help you feel stress-free. Check out the final tip in our article on mindful behavior for a great breathing technique that will relax you within seconds and feel your melt away. 3. Physical activity Exercise causes a spike in endorphins, one of the happiness hormones. To achieve a stress-free state, the key is to engage in physical activity regularly. The type and frequency of exercise depends on your preference and overall health status, but as a guideline, a Finnish medical study found that moderate aerobic exercise was best for higher endorphin levels. “Adding indoor plants to your home environment can make a world of a difference and help you to become stress-free.” Some types of moderate exercise that can bring relief include cycling, brisk walking, mindful running, and water aerobics. The impact of COVID-19 means we can't do all of these right now, but still try and do some form of exercise in your home or garden to keep your spirits up and mental health in check. 4. Body relaxation To become stress-free fast, add a mix of mood-boosting exercise with calming relaxation techniques. Relaxation methods like tai chi, meditation, yoga, or mindfulness have been practised for centuries. Consciously relaxing your body, or even parts of it, can slow down your heart rate, lower stress hormone levels, and boost confidence in your ability to cope with problems. Some techniques you want to try include progressive muscle relaxation, massage therapy, qi gong, and ashtanga yoga. RELATED: Yes, You Can Meditate Lying Down. Here's How and Why 5. Experiment with essential oils Aromatherapy has been around for thousands of years. Even in Ancient Egypt people were aware of the power of aromatic herbs and their role in well-being. The organs responsible for our sense of smell are directly connected to the parts of the brain linked to emotions, so exposure to certain scents can have a positive effect on mood and help reduce anxiety. Lavender essential oil has been widely studied for its ability to induce calm, and it seems effective in the short-term treatment of anxiety and restlessness. Other essential oils to help you become free from stress include jasmine, bergamot, holy basil, rose, frankincense, vetiver and lemon balm. Aromatherapy: sniff to reduce stress shutterstock/Madeleine Steinbach 6. Create a stress-free playlist We’re only beginning to understand the power of music and how it brings stress relief. If, as 17th century playwright William Congreve said, “music has charms to soothe a savage beast”, surely it can help us reach a stress-free state too? One study compared stress levels in surgical patients who listened to music before an operation and those who didn’t, and found that those who listened to music had lower blood pressure and were said to feel less anxious. Some sounds and rhythms can be more effective than others. 7. Do nothing Feeling overwhelmed by tasks or responsibilities is one of the most common causes of stress. Sometimes, the best response is to put everything on hold and do nothing but take care of yourself: something many of us had to do during the COVID-19 pandemic. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Protect Your Energy: 7 Science Backed Techniques What the 12 Pillars of Well-Being Can Teach Us How to Practise Niksen: the Art of Doing Nothing However, if doing nothing is still not an option, consider doing less or doing things at a slower pace, or doing them mindfully. Mindfulness gives you a chance to slow down, focus, and become more aware of your reactions. It has also been connected to lower activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain that triggers fear and stress responses. 8. Visualization techniques Visualization techniques can have a calming effect when stress becomes too much to handle. Immerse yourself in a scene that makes you happy and relaxed, and recreate every sensory aspect of the scene, from the smells to the sights or the sounds. By focusing on the sensory experience as a whole, you direct your attention away from sources of stress. Once that happens, your brain will also signal your body to relax. “Exercise causes a spike in endorphins, one of the happiness hormones. To achieve a stress-free state, the key is to engage in physical activity regularly.” Researchers have found that visualization (also called guided imagery) can boost mood and improve depressive symptoms in multiple sclerosis patients, so it surely can have a beneficial effect on stress too, so consider trying visualization meditation to remove stress. 9. Share your feelings A burden shared is a burden halved, so don’t hesitate to talk someone close to you if worry begins to take over. Sharing your worries can bring a sense of relief, and scientific evidence supports this. A 2013 study found that disclosing feelings of worry and anxiety to someone sympathetic reduced levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. Sometimes you may even prefer to talk to a stranger. Talking therapy is effective in stress relief, whether it’s in person or over the phone. Talking is a therapy to become stress-free shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 10. B vitamins for stress support Did you know that certain vitamin deficiencies can lead to increased feelings of stress? A stress-free diet should be especially rich in B-complex vitamins. Some researchers suggest that these vitamins can lower homocysteine, an amino acid that spikes in stressful situations. RELATED: The Gut-Brain Axis So, it’s a good idea to revamp your meal plan to ensure it includes good amounts of vitamin B-rich foods, such as whole grains, legumes, dark leafy vegetables, seeds and nuts. Making this a habit can help lift your mood and reduce the mental fatigue brought about by stress. 11. Honour your true self Sometimes, stress is a result of internal conflict. There are situations where we must choose between doing what we know in our hearts to be right, and pleasing others or dishonoring our core values. We all have certain values that guide our lives, so take some time to remind yourself of which are the most important to you. One of the steps towards being stress-free is resolving any tension or discrepancies between who you are and who you want to be. This is your opportunity to do just that and feel better. Takeaway: stress-free living During these tough times, try not to let stress and rising anxiety levels get in the way of your happiness. While we all experience stressful situations, there’s no reason to be overwhelmed by them, since we have multiple tools to strengthen our inner-self and become stress-free quickly. So, the next time you feel your anxiety levels rising, give some of our suggestions a try. ● Main image: shutterstock/baranq happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Stress management | Letting go | Motivation Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Exhausted by that ever-growing to-do list? These productivity hacks from Sonia Vadlamani will teach you how to get shit done by avoiding distractions and improving your ability to focus. Life can get overwhelmingly busy as we navigate a whirlwind of jobs and responsibilities each day, often leaving us feeling stretched too thin. Indeed, the daily grind can be exhausting, especially in a challenging economy, wherein many of us are forced to juggle multiple jobs just to stay afloat. Adding to this strain is the constant deluge of notifications on your phone and laptop – often distracting us from the task at hand and ultimately leaving us feeling guilty about our mounting workload. Reclaiming your focus back to your goals, responsibilities, and pending tasks can be the biggest hurdle to, well, getting shit done and feeling a feeling of achievement. The benefits of productivity hacks Most of us wish to be more productive, given that our list of to-dos and pending tasks often feels never-ending. With this in mind, productivity hacks are reliable and easily applicable methods to help us get more done in a day. What’s more, finding the right productivity tool that works for you can foster a sense of accomplishment, and the autonomy resulting from this can enhance your overall well-being and happiness levels. Productivity hacks: firstly, clear the clutter! Indeed, figuring out the right productivity hacks to bring some order to chaos can seem challenging. The answer lies in self-awareness and a bit of experimentation until you find the approach that suits you best. How to get shit done: 8 tips to boost productivity Boosting productivity doesn’t have to be complicated: it’s often about making intentional, small changes repeatedly. So, here are eight productivity hacks that can work wonders if applied to your daily life. 1. Organize your day into time blocks A study that researched over 100 productivity hacks declared time-blocking as one of the most effective. That’s because this technique helps you prfioritize your daily tasks with intention, enabling you to choose clarity over chaos. Most of us juggle different roles – such as worker, parent, carer – each day, which is exactly why dividing the day into multiple time blocks can aid us in getting shit done at a more efficient pace. “Use the time-blocking method to allocate specific slots and then batch all the similar or connected tasks together to make it easier to get shit done.” For instance, I currently balance blogging and creating food content part-time with freelance writing. I also volunteer at a local non-profit, take care of household chores, and try to exercise daily. To manage everything better, I use time blocking, dividing my week into manageable slots for personal and work-related tasks. This helps me stay organized, and I find that I’m able to tackle tasks without burnout, context-switching, or guilt about what's left undone. RELATED: Why is Volunteering Important? Here Are 7 Benefits it Offers In addition to simply getting my shit done, time-blocking also allows me to slot in some ‘me-time,’ which usually involves playing with my pets, catching up with a friend, reading a book or working on a jigsaw puzzle. 2. Plan your day the night before Deciding which tasks to tackle for the day and in what order can turn out to be a dreaded procrastination trap best avoided. In contrast, planning your day in advance enables you to get stuff done with intention and efficiency, eliminating any scope for decision fatigue and impulsiveness. Overwhelmed? Solid organization is crucial to get shit done Spend around 15 minutes each night planning your schedule for the next day. If appropriate, use the time-blocking method to allocate specific slots and then batch all the similar or connected tasks together to make it easier to get shit done. Known as task batching, this approach can help you stay focused, minimizing time wasted on unplanned activities. 3. Maintain a backlog of to-dos For long-term tasks or ideas you plan to work on in the foreseeable future, keep a backlog list. Instead of mindlessly inundating this backlog to-do list with tasks in a random manner, organize them by projects and sub-projects to manage your list with greater ease. Alternatively, you can also prioritize tasks daily, weekly, monthly, or beyond. Then each new week, bring forward tasks from your long-list into the daily or weekly one so you can focus on those. Make it a habit to review these projects and track their progress while planning your schedule for the next day. Adjust and revise as needed. As you may already know, getting things crossed off your to-do list creates a feeling of intense satisfaction! 4. Eliminate distractions Dstractions can be costly, especially if you’re trying to get stuff done on a tight schedule. Observe your surroundings and list out the usual disruptors that prevent you from getting shit done more often than you like. Research implies that in addition to killing the momentum and hampering our progress, frequent interruptions can be exhausting, stress-inducing, and increase the chances of you making errors with your work. MORE LIKE THIS: Why Can't I Focus? 8 Tips on How to Avoid Distractions ‘I Hate My Job!’ Cultivate These 6 Traits and Love Your Work Feeling Overwhelmed at Work? Here Are 9 Ways to Manage It For example, simple changes like putting your phone on silent, disabling notifications to avoid constant distraction, avoiding places with noise and movement etc., can improve your ability to concentrate entirely on the present task and head into that flow state – essential for getting shit done. 5. Declutter your workspace Whether you work from home or the office, excessive clutter can indisputably hinder your performance, thus impacting your ability to complete your tasks. In addition to boosting your productivity, decluttering your workspace can improve your mood, lower stress levels, and combat anxiety. If you do work from home, maintaining a designated workspace can help create a clear boundary between work and personal life. Home workers should create a designed workspace 6. Get a quick start with the 2-Minute rule The 2-minute rule is a simple technique to essentially stave off procrastination by reducing the decision-making time toward an important goal, action or milestone by just springing into action. In his renowned book Getting Things Done, David Allen suggests the underlying principle for the 2-Minute Rule: “If an action will take less than two minutes, it should be done at the moment it’s defined.” “In our fast-paced world, productivity hacks are a game-changer. Organizing your day and planning effectively are key drivers to getting more done.” Allen rationalizes the first two minutes as the ‘efficiency cutoff’ for the pile of small tasks that all of us often find piled up on our to-do list. So, instead of putting off these small tasks, simply switch into 'action' mode and address them head-on. You will notice the difference. 7. Utilize the Pomodoro Technique The Pomodoro technique is a useful time-management system if you – like myself – find yourself getting derailed by small distractions throughout the day, or feel overwhelmed by the amount of work still pending. It involves setting a timer to alternate focused time sessions with frequent microbreaks to enable prolonged concentration and keep mental exhaustion at bay. RELATED: 7 Ways to Develop a Can-Do Attitude Set your timer to 25 minutes and start working on the tasks you’ve set for the day, allowing yourself a 5-minute productive break. Repeat this cycle four times, or ‘Pomodoro’ rounds, to earn a longer restorative break lasting 15-30 minutes. You can use the breaks to get a snack, take a short stroll, or refresh with a brief meditation session. 8. Take ample breaks While productivity hacks work wonders and can be the key to getting shit done, as the Pomodoro technique suggests, the importance of taking breaks in between cannot be ignored. A survey study by Sooyeol Kim et al found that engaging in microbreaks can boost productivity significantly by improving work engagement and lowering fatigue rates in employees. So, whether you're implementing the Pomodoro technique or not, be sure to include plenty of breaks, with the goal of disconnecting briefly from work and returning refreshed to tackle the work head-on. Instead of planning a specific activity for the break time, follow your instinct and indulge in whatever feels right in that moment: listen to music, work on your knitting project, or simply practise Niksen, the art of doing nothing, and stare out the window! The takeaway: how to get shit done Productivity hacks are a game-changer, especially in today’s fast-paced world. Organizing your day and planning effectively are key drivers to getting stuff done. However, resist the urge to over-plan or schedule each activity down to every minute, as this can lead to further procrastination, stress, and burnout. By gauging your needs carefully and testing out different approaches, you can identify the ideal productivity hacks to help you regain control of your time and get shit done! • Images: shutterstock/Cardlrin, shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri A, shutterstock/Stokkete happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Many of us dream of living by the sea, and science shows coastal living could be beneficial for both our mental and physical health. Calvin Holbrook explores the therapeutic benefits of being in, on and by the water. Long before seaside spas became fashionable for those wanting a slice of rest and relaxation, respite close to the sea was – literally – just what the doctor ordered. During the mid-late 19th and early 20th centuries in the UK, people were regularly sent to convalesce by the coast, with sea-bathing hospitals being a common treatment. Indeed, in Victorian times, living by the sea was a way of treating those with consumption and chest diseases such as TB, as the fresh and salty sea air was believed to have curative properties. Fast forward to nowadays, and the reason many of us take our holidays by the seaside is because we appreciate the relaxing benefits of the ocean, sun and nature. But could making a more permanent move to the coast improve our health and mental well-being in the long-run? Let’s take a closer look at the science behind how living by the sea could benefit both your mind and body. The health benefits of living by the sea If you're thinking of moving to live by the seaside, here are four backed-by-science health benefits that may persuade you to take the plunger and make the change to coastal life. 1. Sea air helps you to sleep better If you feel sleepier or more rested after a visit to the seaside, there’s clear science to back up why. Dr Natasha Bijlani, a psychiatrist from London’s Priory’s Roehampton Hospital told Metro: “Sea air is good for sleep because it’s generally cleaner and fresher, with higher levels of oxygen, which can improve sleep.” In fact, negative ions in sea air accelerate your ability to absorb oxygen, and also help balance your serotonin levels, one of the body's happiness hormones. A seaside hike can lead to better sleep shutterstock/Paul Nash A 2015 study from the National Trust seems to corroborate the idea that breathing in sea air helps you to sleep better. It found that people sleep on average for 47 minutes longer the night after a decent seaside hike. That’s compared to only an additional 12 minutes for those who went on an inland walk of a similar length. Environmental psychologist Eleanor Ratcliffe, who carried out the National Trust research, said: “It’s clear there’s something really special about the coast that can allow people to boost their mood, relax and sleep.” 2. The coast boosts your mental health As well as improving sleep, recent scientific research shows that coastal living can also help in warding off depression and anxiety. A study from the University of Exeter looked at the census data of 48 million adults in England and how their rated their own health, in relation to where they lived. The results showed that people living close to the coast experience lower mental distress, but when the same people moved inland, the effects were reversed. Dr Lewis Elliott from the University of Exeter confirmed: “We discovered that the closer people live to the coast in England, the better they rate their health.” RELATED: Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature More recently, in October 2019, another study from the same team published in the journal Health & Place backed up their previous findings. The researchers surveyed almost 26,000 people to analyze the mental health well-being effects of being close to the coast. The results showed that those who live less than 1km from the sea are 22 per cent less likely to have mental health symptoms compared to those living over 50km away. This corroborated an earlier study from 2013 which concluded that you’re more likely to have better mental health if you live within 5km of the British coastline. “As well as improving sleep, recent scientific research shows that coastal living can also help in warding off depression and anxiety.” In fact, you don’t even have to get your feet wet to feel the mental and health benefits of living by the sea. Simply looking out at the vast ocean in front of you can help to put your worries into perspective. Your fears may seem trivial when you look at the skyline ahead: this is down to the power of awe. And a 2015 study showed that even just having a view of the sea can promote improvements in mood and a reduction in heart rate. Additionally, the sound of the waves can be very calming. 3. Salt water helps your body heal Physical health improvements are another potential benefit of living by the sea. Sea water is rich in minerals such as magnesium, chloride, sodium, potassium, iodine and sulphur, many of which have curative and anti-inflammatory effects on the skin. Indeed, a 1999 study from the University of Freiburg in Germany found that a combination of sea water and UVB radiation can improve troubling skin problems such as dermatitis and psoriasis. Coastal living means you can enjoy water sports rawpixel.com/shutterstock Talking to Woman & Home magazine, Kevin Benitez Garcia of Gran Canaria Wellness explained: “Soaking in seawater is nature’s skin treatment – it’s great for sensitive or eczema-prone skin.” With psoriasis, cell turnover is high, so replenishing it with minerals that the body has used up could explain why bathing in salty sea water helps so many people. RELATED: The 6 Science-Backed Benefits of Living Simply Additionally, the sea air contains a mist of saline water, which appears to have a soothing effect on the respiratory system’s mucosal lining. So, people living with health conditions such as sinusitis could benefit from living by the sea. It seems those Victorians were really onto something! 4. A more active, and therefore healthier, lifestyle A 2014 study from the UK found that coastal proximity increased your chances of being fitter and healthier than those who lived elsewhere – partly due to the fact that those living closer to the sea have higher levels of physical activity. Indeed, the study found that you’re more likely to exercise regularly if you live within 1km of the English coastline. “Physical health improvements are another potential benefit of living by the sea. Sea water is rich in minerals, many of which have curative and anti-inflammatory effects on the skin.” Of course, the sea offers up the opportunity for swimming during warmer months, but the water also provides the chance to get involved in other sports all year round such as sailing, surfing or paddleboaring. Likewise, the coastline provides the perfect opportunity to keep fit through jogging, running and hiking. Dr Elliott from the University of Exeter told Coast magazine: “We know that when people go to the beach, there are opportunities to be physically active and people are more likely to stay there for longer. Physical activity has a strong effect on mental health, and when combined with being in a natural, coastal environment, these effects become even stronger.” Coastal living: the takeaway It's clear from research that there are various benefits of living by the sea for both our mental and physical health. Studies suggest that it can help with depression and that a coastal environment offers up more chance for physical fitness. So, while we all enjoy our holidays by the sea, could a more permanent move to the coast benefit us? Science seems to suggest it does. Dr Elliott said: “the cumulative effect of actually living by the sea could have a much greater effect in the longer term.” ● Main image: shutterstock/I-ing happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Family activities | Benefits of gardening Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness.com magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also loves hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

Something on your mind? Excessive worry, doubt and apprehension is detrimental to your mental health. These six quotes about worrying from Calvin Holbrook should help you to realise that worrying only leads to unhappiness. Find hope and calm a busy mind. When worries and doubts plague our mind, the result can be destructive and detrimental to our mental health. In fact, excessive worrying and internal conflicts can easily spiral into more generalized anxiety and depression. Fretting about something in the future (or the past) is something we've all done, by just how common is worrying? Well, according to a 2015 survey of 1,000 adults in the UK, 86 per cent of those that replied consider themselves as worriers. And two out of five people questioned said they worried about something every single day. The survey also showed that, on average, people spend an incredible 1 hour and 50 minutes fretting over something each day. While work-related issues hit the top spot on the fear factor, concerns about money, being late, and health issues also ranked highly. And while more than a third (34 per cent) claimed to be happy to discuss their concerns with others, around a quarter admit they keep their worries to themselves. It's then when deeper problems can arise. It's always a good idea to chat with someone about your worries – a friend or a stranger – but if you can't, these quotes about worrying may help you to change perspective and free your mind. Quotes about worrying: 6 powerful sayings 1. “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” Leo Buscaglia This quote on worrying from American author and motivational speaker Leo Buscaglia is one you may have already heard of. Indeed, it’s one of the most well-known sayings when it comes to the subjects of fear and apprehension. Buscaglia’s concise quote makes what we often forget abundantly clear: no matter how much you worry about something, you cannot change the outcome. Worry serves no purpose. Indeed, worrying over something will only steal time that you could be using in the present – time you could be solve your problem or to do something productive that could be boosting your happiness instead of depleting it. In fact, if you are worrying about something that happened in the past, something going on now, or something in the future, then you are not living mindfully and therefore limiting your chances of joy. So, learnt to stop worrying and stop wasting your precious time. 2. “There were many terrible things in my life and most of them never happened.” Michel de Montaigne This worry quote from French philosopher Michel de Montaigne is another popular saying about anguish and doubt. In it, de Montaigne explains that worries are generally just that – worries – but that they are given so much attention and time in our mind that they almost become 'real' events, when, in fact, they are just thoughts. Indeed, the vast majority of the time, the things people are worrying about do not come true – some studies suggest even up to 90 per cent of the time. Furthermore, in cases where those fears and worries do come to fruition, the outcome is generally better than what was initially expected! So, the moral of the story? Stop creating scenarios in your mind from developing into events when they are just thoughts. 3. “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” Elbert Hubbard This worry quote from American writer, artist and philosopher Elbert Green Hubbard is all about the fear of taking risks. Worrying about what may – or may not – happen can sometimes stop us from moving on with our lives or taking chances that we are offered. RELATED: The time is now – how to stop worrying about the future This quote around fear could relate to something as small deciding what to choose to eat from a menu or it could refer to a more extreme life change, such as taking a job in a new country. Many people let their fears and worries block them from moving forward in life. But if you’re continually fearful of the future and making decisions, this can lead to missed opportunities and regret later down the line. It's better to stop worrying about making mistakes and go ahead and take a chance if you're considering it: taking a new opportunity or risk could work out in your favour. And, well, if not, then you will always have the chance to learn from any mistake or situation that doesn't go to plan. 4. “Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.” Winston Churchill Celebrated UK prime minister Winston Churchill is the source of our next quote about worrying, and it’s a useful lesson. With his words he is basically telling us what we already know: worrying never gets you anywhere – it’s better to use your time constructively and make a plan of action to deal with what’s bothering you. For example, if you’re worrying because you have too many things to do and don’t have a clue where to begin, instead of developing anxiety about it all, write down what you have to do on paper. Then you can 'see’ it more clearly and start prioritizing your tasks in a 'to-do' list. “Buscaglia’s concise quote makes what we often forget abundantly clear: no matter how much you worry about something, you cannot change the outcome. Worry serves no purpose.” Similarly, if your fears are more tangible and you’re worrying about making a decision on something one way or another, make a list on paper of all the pros and cons before making a final choice. Writing worries down and making a plan of action is a way of taking the worry outside of your head and converting energy from worry to action. Churchill’s advice should help you to reduce worrisome thoughts, make a decision and move on with your life. 5. “You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.” Olin Miller American author Olin Miller is behind this quote about worrying, and I'm sure it’s one many of us can relate to. Worry itself can revolved around many subjects – financial, health, relationship, parenting, getting older, etc – the list is endless. But some of the top worries we have as humans relates to what other people think about us. This is often in terms of our personality, relationships, being attractive enough, our looks, dress sense, etc. RELATED: 8 powerful suicide prevention quotes It’s human nature to want to be loved and feel acceptance. However, this can often lead to people worrying excessively about what others think about them. In fact, science shows this is waste of time as humans spend the majority of our time not thinking about other people, but – you guessed it – about ourselves. Indeed, in 1997, Dunbar, Marriott et al found that 78 per cent of human conversations involved talking about ourselves and our perceptions of the world. Test the theory and ask yourself how often you think about others. Think back to the last time you were at the supermarket, on public transport or simply walking down the street. Try to recall one detail about another person you encountered in any of those scenarios. Not easy, is it? That’s because we’re pretty much all thinking about ourselves and our issues most of the time. So, as this quote on worrying suggests, stop fretting about what other people think about you because – most of the time – they definitely are not. 6. “If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.” Roy T. Bennett This quote on worry from author Roy T Bennett is all about mindfulness and how living in the present is our only chance for happiness. Worrying about the future can be destructive, but, similarly, raking over past events that we cannot change is bad for our mental health too. Know as rumination, this element of OCD is unhealthy and can in turn lead to depression (learn more on how to stop ruminating). RELATED: 7 powerful quotes on resilience Practising mindfulness helps us to stay in the present moment, fully embracing and experiencing every passing moment. Staying mindful as much as possible helps to keep worries about the future or past at bay, giving less chance for fear and anxiousness to infiltrate the mind. • Main image: shutterstock/Srdjan Randjelovic We hope these quotes on worrying will help you to deal with any doubts about the future or anguish from the past in a healthier and productive way. If you're feeling suicidal, please reach out to someone on one of these global helplines. You can also discuss depression, worry and anxiety with happiness.com members in our forum. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Acceptance | Body positivity | Resilience | Meditation Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes collage artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

Making new friends as an adult isn't as difficult as it seems. So, if you've ever thought 'I have no friends', these six tips from Ed Gould will boost your buddy count and your happiness too. The nature of friendship changes over time. When you’re a kid and at school, you learn how to make friends. And even if you struggle to make long-lasting friendships, you learn how to get along with your schoolmates, for better or worse. I’m lucky enough to still have friends that I first met at pre-school, but I think that's quite unusual. In fact, although adolescence is a time when some youngsters struggle with having no friends at all for a period, it's in our teenage years that many people make their most long-lasting friendships. At this time we start to be a little more discerning about who we are, who we get along with, and what we get out of our friend relationships. The shared experience of school days certainly plays its part, but by the time you’re 15 or 16, you’re more likely to hit it off with friends who share your interests and life passions. However, making friends with new people once you’re in adulthood is undoubtedly harder. Indeed, a 2016 study from Finland found that we make increasing numbers of new friends up until the age of 25. After that age, the numbers begin to fall rapidly, gradually decreasing over the duration of a person’s life. But it doesn't have to be this way. So, if you’ve moved, lost friends for whatever reason, or feel isolated from your social circle because of differing lifestyles, what can you do to improve your friend count? Feel you have no friends? Here's what to do Life changes our friendships and you cannot maintain all those that you had in childhood. People drift away from one another when they don't see each other regularly (even if you have the knack of picking up successfully from where you left off). But the power of friendships is important: they can help maintain our mental and physical health. Indeed, these days, scientific research has so much more to tell us about the damaging nature of loneliness. Of course, feeling lonely can impact on children as well as adults, but it certainly affects grown-ups who have a lifestyle that makes it hard to meet new people and make friends. • JOIN US! Sign up today and make new friends at happiness.com • According to Harvard University, loneliness is a serious issue that should be regarded as a public health problem like STDs. In fact, having no friends could affect your physical health: a 2015 study found that having strong social connections boosts physical health, as you are less likely to be obese or be living with high blood pressure. Government research from the UK has found that 200,000 people there have not had a meaningful conversation with anyone for over a month. Indeed, most GPs see several people every day who are dealing with the symptoms of loneliness. According to MIND, loneliness can lead to mental health deterioration which, in turn, tends to make you feel more isolated. Of course, this can result in a spiral of loneliness unless you take active steps to counter it. This is where knowing how to make new friends as an adult is such a useful skill. So if you’re one of those people who’s ever said or thought ‘I have no friends’, here are some ways to bring new people into your life and feel happier. 1. Ensure that you're open to new friends If you believe you have few or no friends, then it's first worth considering why. Do you perhaps unintentionally push people away or appear aloof? Do you make the effort to stay in touch with people? Are you always turning down invitations because you are nervous of social situations? Being mindful of your behaviour is an essential starting point. No friends? Don't sit on the fence! Chat to your neighbours © shutterstock/Pressmaster Indeed, it's true that as humans we let friendship opportunities pass us by every day: we can be too shy, too awkward or just unaware to grab them. Try to develop the courage to change that: learn to recognize potential friendships leads and actively follow them. For example, instead of just saying 'hi' to a neighbour, invite them in or pop out for a coffee. If you get served by the same person over and again at your local supermarket, engage in conversation with them – you might have more in common than you think. Indeed, you’ll be surprised by how many potential friends there already are in your immediate orbit! Having awareness is key. 2. Connect with existing contacts Of course, in the combat against loneliness, you could always pick up the phone to an old friend you haven't made contact with for a while. Indeed, some of our oldest friends may be in a similar position and only too willing to rekindle a friendship. Don't remain aloof from old friends or turn down too many social invitations. However, this advice is not exactly the same as knowing how to make new friends as an adult, something that means putting yourself out there a little. 3. Use modern technology – the right way If you feel like you don’t have any friends, there are plenty of apps and social media platforms that you can use to allow people to connect with one another, but you need to use the right ones and in the right way. Twitter, Facebook and Instagram may be a way for people to self-promote and offer up details of the minutiae of their lives – and even been said to isolate people further – but there are some very different apps out there specifically designed to help nurture new friendships. Hey! Vina is a good one for socially isolated mums, for example, as is Peanut. Huggle is another established social media platform that helps strangers to connect with one another, too. You could also create a social event on a platform like Facebook and invite your online acquaintances to meet up in person, a great tip for reconnecting with old friends as well as making new ones. “If you think you have no friends then it's first worth considering why. Do you perhaps push people unintentionally or appear aloof?” And, of course, our very own website, happiness.com, is an excellent place to connect with others on a similar wavelength and perhaps find a deeper sense of community. You can create a profile and find new friends based around your interests. Perhaps you're interested in astrology, spirituality or non-duality, and have struggled to find others that share your passion? Simply add your interests and you can reach out to others that are into the same things. Our happiness forums are also a quick way to share ideas and engage in discussions with people you may want to connect with more deeply. You will find threads on all areas of modern life and well-being, such as mental health, conscious living, sexuality, Buddhism, etc. A great place to start finding your way is in our introduction circle threads. Sign up easily hitting the banner below! 4. Make friends at work If you think you have no friends, one of the best ways you can make new ones as an adult is to mix more with people you work with. If you disappear quickly at the end of the working day or don't join for team lunches then you won't establish new friendships with people you could be genuinely hitting it off with. Make time to socialize with co-workers and get involved with company events, even if it’s just a few drinks after work. Sadly, if you are now remote or home working due to the effects of the pandemic, you might have to skip this idea for now! • JOIN US! Join the caring happiness.com community and make new friends • 5. Volunteer If you're currently unemployed, then you can find new friends by getting involved in your local community though volunteering. Becoming a volunteer is one of the quickest and most useful ways of coming into contact with a lot of potential new buddies. Furthermore, you are more likely to already have something in common if you are working towards a shared goal or cause. In fact, aside from making new connections, the benefits of volunteering are many, and your work with other people will also be of benefit to society in some way. No friends? Then volunteer and make new mates as an adult © shutterstock/Syda Productions 5. Join groups One thing that puts off adults making new friends is that they think it was easy in childhood and so will be difficult as an adult. Actually, often it really wasn’t, and it was only the shared experience of school that made those friendships come to be. If you join a group, you will have a similar shared experience in which friendships can be formed naturally. Crucially, it doesn't matter what the group does or is for. Book reading, sports clubs, woodworking discussion groups and informal mums networks are all as useful as each other. Just pick something that you’re passionate about or interested in trying. According to Psych Central, finding other people like you is incredibly useful for fending off loneliness. You can always combine the previous tip and use technology: MeetUp is a great online resource to join groups in your local area. 6. Walk a four-legged friend According to the British Heart Foundation, walking a dog is not just a good idea for getting the blood flowing and releasing endorphins in your brain that leave you feeling more positive, it can help you make new friends, too. It suggests that you don't even need your own pet – you could borrow a dog from a family member or a neighbour, perhaps offering to take it for walks while they’re on holiday is a great start. “Learn to recognize potential friendships leads and follow them. For example, instead of just saying hi to your neighbour, invite them in or pop out for a coffee.” When you're out and about with a pooch, you're much more likely to get into conversations with other people, especially other dog walkers. Take your dog out at the same time so you bump into the same people regularly. You could even go one step further and join a dog walking group or set up your own! If you don’t want to commit to getting your own dog or prefer not to ask your neighbours, consider signing up to a dog sitting/walking site such as Rover – one more benefit is that you could get paid for it, too! Paws for thought: a furry friend can help you meet new people! The takeaway: I have no friends There are many ways for making new ones, no matter what your age is. It’s never easy to establish completely new friendships, especially if you’re naturally shy. That said, the effort is definitely worth it and many friendships forged in adulthood can be rewarding, both psychologically and in terms of sheer companionship. So, if you’ve ever thought ‘I have no friends’, remember that you can turn things around, but the onus is on you to do it. Also, make sure you follow up regularly with the new people you meet to maintain the friendship: drop them a message to say you had a great time and suggest that you meet up again soon in the future. • Main image: shutterstock/rawpixel.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy classes Resilience | Confidence | Authenticity Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.