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What is an introvert hangover and how do you recover from it?
Calvin77 posted an article in PERSONAL GROWTH
Yes, introvert hangovers are a real thing. Sonia Vadlamani discusses ideas on how to recognize introvert burnout and explains six ways to avoid it happening in the first place. If you’re an introvert, you're likely to have experienced the so-called introvert hangover at least once in your life, even if you didn’t realize you were dealing with it. Also referred to as a social hangover, an introvert hangover is a result of an excessive dose of socializing. Sometimes even a few hours of socializing, like a lunch date with friends in a noisy restaurant or attending a large social event, can leave you physically exhausted and mentally drained, even though the people around you show no signs of slowing down. Indeed, you are not alone, and most introverts, including me, experience this feeling. Although social hangover can happen to anyone, introverts are particularly susceptible to it as they reach their dopamine threshold relatively easily when compared to extroverts. Introverts tend to feel overwhelmed and overstimulated by being around too many people for an extended period, and the aftermath can feel a lot like a hangover. What is an introvert hangover? An introvert hangover can be described as that tired, drained, foggy and overwhelmed state we experience when we’ve overdone socializing and feel the need for some alone-time for recharging. Introvert hangover can happen due to overstimulation from a series of closely-timed events that you were a part of, like weddings or a concert, a group activity, or even a Zoom call. A common misconception about introverts is that they’re shy, or they don’t like people. This simply isn’t true, as introverts do crave human connection as well. “Introversion may look like shyness to an extrovert – but it's really more about the energy depletion and the way they experience the world,” explains psychologist Mike Dow. Too much social time may lead to an introvert hangover As an introvert, while I feel the need for meaningful interactions with friends and family, I do find myself getting quickly saturated and mentally exhausted if there’s too much noise, or if the group suddenly gets bigger, leading to too many conversations to keep a track of. In midst of the socializing if I’m finding myself growingly irritable, or plain zoned-out and retreating into a quiet corner, I know it’s proving too much for me in the moment. Some key signs that you’re experiencing social exhaustion can be: Feeling detached from ongoing conversations around you Feeling numb or dejected Developing a headache or a migraine Growing irritability as time progresses Having trouble concentrating Fatigue and tiredness Experiencing conditions like stress, anxiety and depression Prolonged social hangover can result in a following introvert burnout, which can leave one feeling drained for longer periods… hours even, or sometimes for several days in a row. Avoiding introvert hangovers An introvert burnout can be a terrible phenomenon to experience. Fortunately, it is possible to avoid the fatigue you may experience after a social event with these simple steps: 1. Accept who you are Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, emphasizes that it’s essential for introverts to embrace their true selves and be confident about the same. This will help introverts to reach out and interact with others from a place of acceptance, instead of a societal compulsion that they should socialize more often. 2. Identify your triggers There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to combating an introvert hangover, as every individual has their own triggers and socializing capacity. While a single virtual work meeting can end up triggering introvert burnout in some, others may feel exhausted from attending several social events back-to-back. “Introverts tend to feel overwhelmed by being around too many people for an extended period, and the aftermath can feel a lot like a hangover.” Observing what your triggers are and the pace at which your energy levels deplete each time you socialize is key. It can enable you to customize your social engagements and plan social events when you’re energized and ready to handle them. 3. Customize your social events Sometimes, you could have had a busy day and then have events and activities lined up later that you genuinely want to be a part of or can’t back out of. Consider altering your plans in a way that allows you to derive the maximum value from the events without draining your mental batteries. For example, attending a concert a bit later after the opening act is over, or leaving a party early could prevent an introvert burnout later. I love visiting art galleries and museums when I travel, but I don’t like crowds. So, I schedule these visits for weekdays or early hours when there are fewer visitors. This gives me the freedom to spend more time gazing at the exhibitions and learning about the artist’s process, without needing to stand in a queue for hours or putting up with noisy crowds. 4. Balance socializing with alone-time “Company and solitude are like nutrients: we all need both of them, but in varying amounts,” explains Martha Beck, sociologist, life coach and the author of The Way of Integrity. Like everyone, introverts feel the need for meaningful relationships and nurturing friendships. However, it’s essential for introverts to devise a conscious balance between socializing and their recharge-time, so that they can avoid a prolonged introvert burnout. Choosing quality over quantity could prove to be a wiser approach instead of saying ‘yes’ to every social event, as cramming your schedule with too many social events could leave you exhausted. Prioritize interactions which are more important to you and avoid the social events that are likely to drain your energy reserve at a faster pace. Introverts need to balance social time with alone time shutterstock/Galyna Andrushko 5. Be honest and specific with people As the old saying goes, honesty is always the best policy. Communicate your need to recharge yourself, or the preference for number of people you’re meeting, the location etc, in a specific albeit constructive manner. Instead of saying “I can’t talk right now” or “umm, let’s meet some other day”, convey your needs and feelings more coherently like, “I’m on recharge mode and would like to be alone today”, or “I realize this group hangout has now shaped into a full-blown party. I’ll have to leave a bit earlier as it’s too much for me”. Indeed, positive communication ensures that others understand your socializing preferences and needs and try to accommodate these to the best of their ability. However, if you don’t tell your friends about how over socializing burns you out, they may think you are being rude or difficult if you vanish from an event or keep turning down invitations, so make sure that doesn’t happen. 6. Take timely micro-breaks Sometimes it may be difficult for you to back out from a social event, like an office party or a vacation with several family members or friends. Similarly, you may not want to miss out on important social commitments, such as a friend’s wedding. Opt for periodic, small breaks in scenarios where you need to attend numerous events within a short span. For example, you could find a quieter spot nearby to practise some conscious breathing alone to soothe your nerves, or take a short stroll near the event venue to clear your mind. How to recover from introvert burnout Recovering from an introvert hangover is possible, even though it may seem at the time like you’ve hit a brick wall and there simply isn’t possible to pave your way back to socializing. Here are some ideas to offer you much-needed relief: Tell yourself it’s OK An introvert hangover can last anywhere between few hours to few days, depending on the severity of the exhaustion and it’s okay. There is no need to feel guilty or apologetic about your need for some solitude. After all, introverts are at their optimal best when they’ve taken the time to recharge with some alone-time and introspection. Prioritize your alone-time “Feelings are information,” says Dow. Experiencing the signs of introvert hangover denotes that you may have overdone socializing and haven’t spent time alone with your thoughts for a long time. An introvert recharge-mode consisting of some quiet self-reflection can go a long way to heal your social burnout, as well as to ready you for your next social engagement. Jenn Granneman, founder of IntrovertDear.com, a community for introverts, and author of The Secret Lives of Introverts refers to the introvert-reward connection established by researchers, emphasizing the importance of spending some time alone for introverts. Devise a downtime schedule Indulging in hobbies like knitting, painting or fishing, or immersing yourself in your favorite self-care activity, can help speed-up the recovery from a social hangover. Try a DIY spa treatment – a luxury facial or a manicure may lift your spirits with ease. Grab your favorite book and read through your favorite parts again. For me, it’s a warm cup of a soothing tea, a cozy spot where no one can disturb me much, and curling up with one of the Harry Potter titles that does the trick. The key here is to create a calming and low-stimulus environment so you can recharge your mental batteries. Rewatching your all-time favorite movie, a comforting bowl of ice cream, or playing with your furry friends to channel the healing power of pets can also help you achieve this goal. Meditate Meditation helps you shake off the anxiety of socializing by enabling you to slow down, clear your mind and relieve stress. There are several skills you can learn through meditation, like cultivating silence, physical relaxation, and self-compassion, which can bolster your ability to combat introvert burnout in the longer run. “It’s essential for introverts to devise a conscious balance between socializing and recharge, so they can avoid a prolonged introvert burnout.” Introverts may benefit from meditating more often than once, even for durations as less as 5 minutes, as this can keep them focused and grounded. There are different types of meditation from which you choose a form that suits your needs and lifestyle the best. Sweat it out Exercise can be an effective coping tool for introverts. Research shows that introverts are more prone to mental stress and anxiety, and researchers agree upon regular exercise as an effective strategy for stress management. Working out can help you relax and unwind, in addition to offering you some much-needed ‘me-time’ following an introvert hangover. Exercise need not be boring: taking long walks or a hike along the woods, engaging in wild swimming, jogging or running at the park or lifting weights at the gym are some ways to sweat it out and benefit from the happiness hormones resulting from your workout. Takeaway: avoiding introvert hangover While introverts do enjoy the company of others, they can find socializing for long hours at a stretch challenging and overstimulating. Avoiding overbooking your social calendar, taking mini-breaks between stretches of vigorous social activity, and communicating your recharge-time needs in an honest manner can go a long way towards preventing social hangover. Research shows that introverts appreciate the time to reflect and thrive when they get the time to recharge their mental batteries. Thus, indulging in rejuvenating activities such as meditation, spending time in nature with activities like forest bathing, unwinding with a restorative yoga practice, etc, are some ways to create some much-needed downtime after an introvert burnout. • Main image: shutterstock/Motortion Films happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Compassion | Friendship | Communication skills Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram. -
The Power of Silence: 10 Benefits of Cultivating Peace and Quiet
Calvin77 posted an article in HEALTH & BODY
Finding peace and quiet in modern times can be a challenge, but the health benefits of doing so – including stress relief and improved clarity – are proven. Meena Azzollini discovers 10 ways in which the power of silence can help to heal your mind and body. We live in an increasingly noisy world. The constant drone of traffic, household appliances, music, television and sounds in public places is disturbing sleep and increasing stress levels for many people. Escaping noise is a modern-day challenge, but doing so could be essential to our well-being: the power of silence is scientifically proven when it comes to the benefits it can offer our minds and bodies. In 2011 the World Health Organization (WHO) released a report that studied the impact of environmental noise from planes, trains and vehicles, and other community and leisure sources. The ten-year study looked at links to health outcomes such as cardiovascular disease, sleep disturbance, cognitive impairment in children, annoyance and tinnitus. It found that in Western Europe alone the total burden of health effects from environmental noise was greater than one million years of healthy life lost collectively each year. This figure does not even include the impact of industrial noise pollution in workplaces. Indeed, modern life is full of noise. There are sounds from the environment and a general lack of quiet that comes with a hectic life. Distractions and interruptions during the day have now become the norm, adding to the noise in our lives. Cultivating peace with calming walks in nature Even sounds we are not aware of – particularly those sounds which we hear when we are asleep – can have a tremendous impact on our well-being. The human ear never goes to sleep and is constantly listening to sound. It is a sensitive organ and while we are deep in slumber, the ear is still picking up and transmitting sound to the brain. The brain receives electrical signals of sound and promptly activates a stress response in the amydgala – neurons responsible for processing fear and emotions – with the immediate release of cortisol, along with elevated blood pressure and heart rate. RELATED: The 6 Science-Backed Benefits of Living Simply In fact, studies show that exposure to nocturnal sounds can increase the risk of cardiovascular disease. Long-term exposure to noise can lead to a variety of health issues including high blood pressure, heart disease, sleep problems, tinnitus, and cognitive impairment in children. Furthermore, noise also causes stress, anxiety, depression and fatigue in both humans and animals. Noise expert Bernie Krause says that the incessant sounds of modern day living are making people unhappy and driving them to take sleeping pills and antidepressants. The benefits of silence Our lives are busy, and a few minutes of silence is a rare treat for most people. Many of us don’t get to embrace silence as much as our world has become increasingly digitized and we are more dependent on our devices: many of us are constantly ‘on’. Even conversations with family members, work colleagues, kids and friends do not give us the respite we need from noise. In fact, it just adds to the mental clutter going on in our minds and creates more frustration, anger and an imbalance in our physical and mental health. “Escaping noise is a modern-day challenge but essential to our well-being: the power of silence is scientifically-proven when it comes to the benefits it can offer our minds and bodies.” The obvious answer is to take a break from external noise and internal chatter and aim for some silence and solitude. But, for some people, silence can be uncomfortable and scary as they are left alone with their worrisome thoughts, which can be stressful. For others, the fear of silence can be profound, because they are now used to a noisy world. The power of silence: 10 benefits of cultivating peace Silence is important for our health and well-being, just as exercise and nourishment are. So, what are the benefits of silence? 1. Stimulates brain growth Two hours of solitude and silence every day could potentially rejuvenate your brain. In a 2013 study scientists exposed mice to three types of sound, including baby mouse calls. They included silence as a control and expected baby mouse calls to stimulate development of brain cells. To their surprise, scientists found that two hours of silence per day prompted greater healthy brain cell growth in the hippocampus – an area of the brain responsible for memory formation, learning, motivation and regulation of emotional responses. 2. Improves sleep and fights insomnia The importance of quiet sleep cannot be stressed enough as it helps restore the body and the mind, and is important for your physical, emotional and cognitive health. Periods of silence during the day can also improve sleep quality and lessen insomnia, highlighted in a 2015 study where older adults practised mindfulness meditation for six weeks. 3. Improves memory Ten to 15 minutes of sitting in silence can boost your memory. The remarkable memory-boosting benefits of quiet contemplation also have positive implications for those who have a neurological injury, such as a stroke, and may release a latent capacity to learn and recall for people with amnesia and some sorts of dementia. A 2014 study on patients with amnesia showed that a ten-minute rest in a quiet darkened room boosted recall from 14 to 49 per cent. The study also found similar results for healthy participants boosting memory recall from ten to 30 per cent. Embrace the power of silence through meditation shutterstock/fizkes 4. Relieves stress Stress can disrupt the natural processes of your body, but taking a break and embracing the power of silence can lower blood cortisol level and adrenaline and relieve stress. RELATED: What Is a Sound Bath Meditation and What Are Its Benefits? In fact, silence is more relaxing than listening to meditative music and just two minutes of silence improves blood circulation and reduces blood pressure to ease tension from the body and brain. Furthermore, when you’re not stressed, your natural biological mechanisms can heal and repair your body. 5. Awakens awareness Silence is not only the absence of sound and speech, it is also refers to the quietening of your ‘monkey mind’ – the relentless stream of evaluative thoughts and emotions that plague our minds. When you learn to quieten your mind with mindfulness and meditation, you will notice a distinct shift in your awareness and sensitivity to the environment around you. 6. Improves heart health Interestingly, moments of silence can also benefit your heart. The American Heart Association says that taking some time out to practise meditation and mindfulness can do wonders for heart health as it lowers blood pressure, reduces stress, and thus lowers the overall risk for heart disease. 7. Improves clarity Taking a moment to breathe, calm your inner mind and get away from noise has the potential to regulate your breath, and do away with stress which you may not even be aware of. When you are not distracted by noise, your brain returns to its default mode and integrates internal and external information “into a conscious workspace,” promoting mental clarity. 8. Boost cognitive resources According to Attention Restoration Theory, spending more time in an environment that is restorative, rather than one which has high sensory input, restores the brain’s cognitive resources. “Embracing the power of silence does not have to be about the absence of sound, but also about getting away from distracting noises that stimulate your brain and trigger a stress response.” That is why when you take a walk in nature away from urban areas, your stress levels reduce and you feel happier afterwards. A low sensory environment provides the solitude and silence you need, which helps clear your mind, reduce mental fatigue and internal noise, and helps you to rejuvenate and relax. 9. Better decision-making When you're in a noisy environment, it becomes difficult to make any decisions, as your brain is constantly being bombarded with stimuli. But just five minutes of silence not only reduces the stress response of the amygdala but it also releases serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin — known as happy hormones. This restores your well-being and your mind becomes calmer. With that, you can make better decisions as you process information with clarity and awareness. 10. Enhances creativity Solitude and periods of silence allows your mind to wander, which is essential for 'incubation' – one of the four stages of creativity where you let go of what you're working on or thinking of. • JOIN US! Sign up today and make new friends at happiness.com • Studies show that during incubation, even though you're not thinking of any particular thing, there are unconscious processes taking place in the brain, searching for a solution. And it is during this stage that you come up with creative solutions. Daydreaming, taking a walk in nature and good sleep are all wonderful sources for incubation, thus boosting your creative potential. Ways you can enjoy the power of silence Clearly, science shows that silence gives our mind and body a break from the noise of the modern world and brings with it many powerful benefits. So, how can you embrace silence in your life? What can you do to find solitude and instill it into your daily practice? Walk in nature Take a walk in nature for some peace and solitude. Find a park, a walking trail, or go to the woods or the beach to enjoy some time alone, and take in the beautiful sounds of nature, which can help you relax. Meditation There is plenty of evidence of the benefits of meditation, inner peace included. Meditation does not have to be complicated: all you need is five to ten minutes to sit in silence and focus on your breath: gently let go of any thoughts from your awareness. Sacred pauses Sacred pauses are mini-meditations you take during the day when you are involved in a goal-oriented task. Take a break from what you are doing and sit comfortably with your eyes closed. Take a few deep breaths and with each breath let go of any thought or worries and let your body relax. You can do this many times a day to give your mind and body a break from noise and stressful thoughts. Stay in bed an extra five minutes in the morning Wake up early to enjoy the quiet and solitude before the day begins. Bask in the silence, with no particular thoughts as you awaken slowly to the day. These precious moments can set the mood for the rest of the day and give you the boost you need to carry on with a peaceful vibe. Digital Detox Set a day, perhaps on the weekend, to stay away from your digital devices. Although it may sound like an impossible task, keeping away from digital stimulation will help you center yourself and give you the time to attain inner quiet. Practise yoga Yoga gives you the opportunity to shift your focus from your thoughts to the poses you are practising. And as you move from one pose to the other, your mind settles down with every breath that you take. Yoga is known to make you feel calmer as it releases happy hormones, relieving stress and anxiety. The takeaway: the power of silence The World Health Organization has called noise pollution ‘a modern plague.’ And rightly so. Many studies and experts have warned us about the harm that excessive noise causes not only to our health and mental well-being but also to the health of this planet. Not to mention the disruption caused by the noise that goes on in our minds as we stumble through a busy life. Cultivating silence then becomes imperative: there is a power in silence that results in multiple body and mind benefits. Embracing the power of silence does not have to be about the absence of sound, but also about getting away from distracting noises that stimulate your brain and trigger a stress response. Depending on where you you live and your lifestyle, you may find it hard to escape from noise at all. But you can always cultivate a habit to find a few moments of powerful silence and calm in your day. And, as you do so, you should notice a world of difference to your health and well-being. • Main image: shutterstock/Vitalii Bashkatov happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Meditation | Nature | Self care | Retreats Written by Meena Azzollini Meena Azzollini is a health and wellness content writer from Australia. She takes a heart-centred approach to help businesses make meaningful connections with their audience through effective content marketing solutions. You can connect with her at www.meenawrites.com. -
Has anyone dealt with mental health issues?
joge68 replied to Dolphinjumper123 's topic in Mental Health Forum
Last year when i was in depression and this is the main reason of my mental health someone suggest me for life coaching to feel free from depression and improve mental health as well. Life coach helps you to feel free from depression and improve 1 your mental stability. He should deal with your mental health and improve this. -
Spending money: can you buy yourself happiness?
Tine posted an article in INSPIRATION & SPIRITUALITY
Ever get a rush of happiness when spending money only to crash later? Our spending habits – particularly balancing our 'needs' with our 'wants' – affect our mental health and happiness. So, next time you have the urge to splurge, Dee Marques suggests you stop and think first... New research shows how we are saving and spending money affects our mental health more dramatically than previously thought. And learning to embrace our emotional responses to spending may provide the key to a happier life. Our relationship with money and spending is complex, involving often highly personal emotions. We may wish we were capable of making rational choices, but when it comes to managing our personal finances, in reality, it's rarely so straightforward. But, as wider research develops around the subject, we're beginning to piece together a more precise picture of exactly how our interactions with the world of finance can affect us mentally. And, perhaps surprisingly, what we believe to be the responsible choice is not always the most beneficial. RELATED: Economic hardship: the 3 things that bring happiness during financial difficulties Furthermore, there's a growing body of evidence which explains the connection between our spending habits and mental health. In fact, the state of our personal finances and spending habits plays an active role in determining our overall well-being in life. As we seek to balance our needs and our wants, it may be valuable to consider some of the many ways in which our personal spending choices may be influencing our state of mind. Also, whether our habits are a positive or a negative influence on our quality of life. Spending money: the psychology There's a popularly held belief that our interactions with and attitudes towards money are psychologically hard-wired. That we may be a spender or a saver; a conservative or a risk-taker. Indeed, there's convincing evidence to suggest this is precisely the case. Our financial instincts operate within the same fundamental patterns as our impulses to manage other lifestyle essentials. Bringing home the bacon: do you save or spend money? Psychologist and professor Glenn D Wilson alludes to this phenomenon with the interesting observation that our behaviour towards money has “commonalities with food, which might suggest an evolutionary origin for our craving [for wealth].” Wilson notes that when our appetite is stimulated by the scent of nearby food our economic instincts become equally hungry. We become more inclined to horde, and less likely to spend money. Equally, risk-averse individuals may simply be behaving in accordance to built-in traits. A region of the brain known as the insula is active in the processing emotional responses, as well as associating stimuli with previous adverse reactions. Interestingly, individuals with a more active insula have been found to respond to the experience of spending large sums of money in the same way as they would react to pain, or to a disgusting smell. Wants and needs: ways of spending money Due to these previously-acknowledged findings, traditional thinking has classed us as spenders or savers, which deduced that our attraction or aversion to spending money was a matter of innate neurological make-up. However, more recent investigations have studied the impact of different forms of spending. In fact, researchers have demonstrated that not all spending is equal. Indeed, in contrast to decades of research reporting surprisingly weak relationships between consumption and happiness, recent findings suggest that money can increase happiness if it's spent the “right way”, for example, on experiences or other people. “The state of our personal finances and spending habits plays an active role in determining our overall mental health and our well-being in other areas of life.“ Understanding the different forms of economic activity is a necessary step towards learning how the psychology of money could be affecting our own peace of mind. Indeed, a report by the Department of Psychology at the University of Cambridge sought to identify the psychological impact of qualitative factors within our spending habits, as opposed to simply the amount spent. Spending money to get happy Developing this point further, a study by the University of California at Berkeley sought to establish distinct forms of spending. The objective of the study was to learn the psychological impact of each form of spending money. Every transaction divided into one of four expenses: Spending money: shopping can be split into categories Firstly, either as 'fixed' or 'variable' outgoings, of which both classes sub-divide into sets that are our 'wants' and our 'needs'. For example, while our 'fixed needs' are all of those outgoings that include the cost of living, such as bills, grocery and transportation, our 'fixed wants' are regular treats that we award ourselves in everyday life. These could include a cup of coffee on the way to work or going to watch a Friday night film. Together, these forms of recurring purchases define our basic standard of living on a monthly basis. However, data shows that we quickly grow accustomed to these purchases as a new, baseline standard of living. Although reducing these expenses may not make us happier, there's also no marked long-term improvement in our well-being when we make such purchases, either. Instead, 'fixed wants' are more effective psychological rewards when they only occasionally happen, not when they form part of a regular spending habit. “Recent findings suggest that money can indeed increase happiness if it's spent the 'right way', (for example, on experiences or other people).” In contrast, 'variable needs' describe the infrequent or one-off purchases that are, nevertheless, mandatory. From travel visas to health insurance; vehicle repairs to items for a child's education. Variable needs are the expenses that motivate the saver in all of us. Our peace of mind relies upon knowing that we have the financial resources to cover the unexpected. There is substantial evidence to suggest that these economic safety nets are among the most vital sources of physical and mental well-being. To improve our well-being through spending money, it may be more effective to re-establish our habit-forming fixed desires as 'variable wants'. While the saver in us may look at these expenses as frivolous, it's these non-essential, one-off treats that are, in fact, the most efficient forms for improving our mood and mindset. Despite this, these non-recurring purchases typically account for the smallest total outgoing of expenses when taken on an average annual basis. Spending money on a happier life Such evidence would suggest that many of us could potentially be enjoying greater peace of mind if we permitted ourselves to spend more of our money. However, there is a caveat: happiness comes from what we spend money on, rather than how much we are spending. By far the most intriguing discovery from this latest round of studies is the realisation what the psychological impact of spending money does. It can amplify when economic activity matches the individual's unique personality traits and motivations. An individual who makes purchasing decisions that best suit their personality shows more enjoyment and an increased quality of life, with an increase in personal well-being that is more effective than that observed from other influencers such as the overall amount spent, or even the total level of that individual's income. Eating out regularly is a 'fixed want', an occasional treat The results suggest that for each, there are optimal and suboptimal ways to allocate spending money. “Purchases that make one person happy might not do so for another. Finding the right products to maintain and enhance one’s preferred lifestyle could turn out to be as important to well-being as finding the right job, the right neighbourhood, or even the right friends and partners.” (Matz, et al.) One can conclude that not only does spending money through “retail therapy” work – albeit under the right conditions for the individual – but also that there is, possibly, an efficiency model for the process, too. This improved understanding will form a fascinating starting point for the next generation of behavioural psychologists' studies. We move towards a reality where individuals are capable of discerning the optimal use of their personal finances. One where identification of products, services and experiences that will help maximise quality of life beyond the restrictions of income or budgetary concerns. ● Main image shutterstock/Ollyy happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Work Life Balance | Freedom | Charity Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter. -
What we can learn about happiness from Iceland
Calvin77 posted an article in INSPIRATION & SPIRITUALITY
Governmental psychologist Dóra Guðmundsdóttir explains what makes a society flourish. By Jill Suttie on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. The World Happiness Report comes out every year, providing some data about how well-being varies from country to country and how it shifts within a country from one year to the next. But what makes some countries happier than others? Dóra Guðmundsdóttir is one of many researchers around the world studying happiness and well-being at the population level. By analyzing large data sets, she's helped to uncover the “epidemiology of well-being” — how different groups within a country are faring in response to changing social and economic forces, such as inequality, recessions, and education policies. By understanding these effects, she helps a country’s politicians and policymakers make better decisions to support the well-being of their citizens. To date, she's worked with the government in her home country of Iceland, where she is the director of determinants of health and wellbeing at the Directorate of Health. I recently interviewed Guðmundsdóttir about her research and what we can do to build more flourishing societies. Jill Suttie: What made you interested in studying social or environmental factors influencing happiness? Dóra Guðmundsdóttir: When I started studying the causes of happiness, I became very interested in the “causes of the causes” of happiness — meaning, the environmental factors that keep people from feeling connected, safe, and autonomous, all of which contribute to happiness. Even though many individual choices affect happiness, how easy or difficult it is to make those choices often depends on social or environmental factors, like government welfare programs or gender equality, for example. JS: According to the World Happiness Report, happiness has been decreasing around the world (as a whole) and there is more “happiness inequality” within countries. Why do you think that’s the case? DG: There might be many reasons for a decline in happiness. One of them might be higher expectations. In many countries, people are faring better each year — living longer, healthier lives. So, maybe people have a stronger sense that they have the right to feel good. It may also be that many people are more open about their mental health so they are more willing to say when they're unhappy. Or it might be that younger generations have less tolerance for adversity and pain (both physical and mental) than previous generations. RELATED: Happiness across different cultures In terms of inequality, there has always been more happiness inequality within countries than between countries. We also see that there is more happiness inequality within municipalities than between municipalities in the same country. It would be helpful to look at those who score high in happiness and those who score low, and then monitor changes in both, to see how policies impact these groups differently. But our current measure of happiness gives us only a very limited view of the situation. We need broader measures of mental well-being to better understand differences. Icelanders are well-known for their happy nature © shutterstock.com JS: This year, Iceland was ranked as the fourth-happiest country in the world. What is it about Iceland that makes the people there so happy? DG: According to studies around the world, it seems that the most important contributor to happiness is one’s social relationships. In a small country like Iceland, it's quite easy to be in good contact with your family and friends. The majority of the population lives within an hour’s drive from the Reykjavik capital area. Another important factor related to happiness is health, and the health status in Iceland is quite good compared to other countries. We have the lowest infant mortality rate in the world and one of the highest life expectancies; the majority of citizens have access to good-quality health care. RELATED: Happiness – what is it exactly? Iceland is also a very peaceful nation — for example, we have never had an army. There's a high level of trust in the society, too. Children can go places freely and play outside without supervision. Icelanders also have quite a bit of control over their lives. They have access to quality education, whatever the educational background of their parents. And Iceland is the country with the narrowest gender gap in the world, where it's now illegal to pay women less than men for the same job. “According to studies around the world, it seems that the most important contributor to happiness is one’s social relationships. In a small country like Iceland, it's quite easy to be in good contact with your family and friends.” All of this makes it easy and acceptable to try out different things, so people do not feel that they are stuck in a particular path they have not chosen. Their level of safety and autonomy probably has a big impact on their happiness. JS: How much — and in what ways — is happiness affected by economic forces, according to your research? DG: Income only predicts one per cent of the happiness in Iceland when other factors are taken into account. That means making a higher income is not going to lead to more happiness, necessarily — it’s a fairly low predictor [of happiness] compared to social relations. RELATED: Money can't buy happiness (except when you spend it like this) At the same time, the biggest predictor for unhappiness is having financial difficulty. Those who find it difficult to make ends meet have the lowest happiness score of all groups, lower than those without a job and those with the lowest income. This means that those with the lowest income are not necessarily the same group as those with financial difficulties. There are people with high incomes who have financial difficulties, and that is worse for your happiness than having a lower income with no financial difficulties. JS: You’ve been looking at research around how economic disasters affect well-being in a country. What are your most surprising findings? DG: When we studied the effects of the banking system collapse in Iceland, we found that happiness among adolescents went up after the collapse, even though the happiness levels of adults went down. That’s because after the collapse, adults were working fewer hours, which meant parents had more time to spend with their adolescents. As it became easier for the adolescents to get emotional support from their parents, their happiness increased, even though working less may have resulted in a lower GDP [Gross Domestic Product] for the country. The natural beauty of Iceland brings joy to many JS: Do you think that having greater levels of happiness in the population acts as a kind of buffer against strong economic downturns? DG: Yes. When a person faces a challenge, it's likely that the level of well-being before the challenge would play a role in the impact of the challenge. A person who has low well-being and has few resources to handle adversity might be more vulnerable than a person high in well-being with more resources. In our study, we saw that adolescents who had strong relationships with their parents were not harmed by the economic crisis, while those who had weak relations with their parents had a decrease in their happiness. So, good relations with parents are not only good for your happiness but can also act as a buffer (protecting factor) for your well-being in times of crisis. JS: How have governments responded to your research and used it to create policy? DG: In 2007, public health authorities in Iceland decided to include public mental well-being measures in a national survey on Health and Wellbeing. That decision had an impact on both health policies and policies for the whole society. Well-being measures were then used as an indicator in the development of the Health 2020 policy for Iceland, as well as in the broader governmental policy for the economy and community, named Iceland 2020 and led by the prime minister. “Income only predicts one per cent of the happiness in Iceland when other factors are taken into account. That means making a higher income is not going to lead to more happiness, necessarily.” Public health indicators, including indicators of happiness and well-being, are published every year for seven health districts, providing profiles for each district. These profiles reflect the strengths and challenges in each district, which enables health authorities, municipalities, and other stakeholders to prioritize, plan, act, and evaluate according to the best available knowledge. For example, this information has been used to distribute financial resources for mental health services around the country. Additionally, municipalities (who score below the country average in happiness) have used the results to develop an action plan to increase happiness among their citizens. Close proximity to family helps Icelanders happier JS: What still needs to be done to increase resilience in your country, in your opinion? DG: In order to increase resilience, it's important to teach skills in schools — like, coping, self-efficacy, social and emotional learning, and mindfulness. Fortunately, we got funding from EU Horizon 2020 for developing a training program on mental resilience in schools in five European regions. The project is called UPRIGHT, and its general objective is to promote mental well-being and prevent mental disorders by enhancing resilience capacities in youths. It was designed by psychologists, pedagogists, methodologists, and technology experts from around Europe, and will focus on increasing resilience in adolescents (12-14 years of age), their families, and schools; validating the effectiveness of the program; and providing scientific evidence on specific resilience factors that contribute to promote positive mental well-being. JS: What do you think other countries can learn from your research? DG: Countries need measures beyond GDP to help them with policy planning. It’s very important to measure happiness and well-being on a national and local level and offer the results to the public, because what you measure gets attention! When you present well-being results to the public, it opens people’s eyes about differences in well-being and creates a desire to understand why the situation is like this and what can be done to improve it. It’s only when citizens ask for change that politicians listen and act. ● Main image: shutterstock/Aleksei Potov Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu -
There were many feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during July, but you may not have spotted them. Ed Gould shares his Top 10 to uplift and inspire you. Positive news may have seemed thin on the ground this summer. However, there were more feel-good news stories than you might have noticed. What were some more hopeful stories from around the world over the course of the last month? Read on to discover ten of the best. 1. Prostate cancer could be treated by iron supplements According to a report published in MediNews, patients with prostate cancer are being given a new hope for recovery thanks to an experimental use of iron. Some anti-cancer treatments are no longer as successful in defeating the disease as they once were but patients who take iron supplements tend to do better. Dr Chunhong Yan, a molecular biologist at the Georgia Cancer Center, is now using iron to create a more resistant treatment pathway for certain types of prostate cancer. “When a cell takes up iron, it undergoes different processes,” he explained. 2. Bison reintroduced to the British Isles Wild bison have been allowed to roam free in a project that seeks to improve biodiversity in British woodlands. According to a report in the Guardian, the large mammals have not been seen in the wild in the UK for over 1,000 years. Now, they are set to make a stunning return in what is being billed as a major win for other wildlife. By creating paths through densely wooded areas, bison can make more room for insects, flowering plants, reptiles and bats. The Wilder Blean project, near Canterbury, is responsible for the programme which, it's hoped, will be replicated elsewhere in future. Bison reintroduced to wild areas in UK shutterstock/Konoplytska 3. Big data analytics could unleash greater happiness According to a former Google big data executive, understanding large amounts of information through machine learning could be the answer to finding greater happiness. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz has recently written a book about success and the role being happier has to play in it. Speaking to the press, he said that big data analysis will soon be used to answer philosophical questions, like 'what makes us happy?' According to Stephens-Davidowitz, analysing the relationships of some 11,000 couples is currently ongoing to work out what it is among them that makes them happy. Once understood, it may be easier to achieve more positive outcomes. RELATED: Happy habits – 12 ways to boost joy levels daily 4. Botswana deals with AIDS crisis among babies It was not that long ago that Botswanan babies stood a high risk of being born with AIDS. The disease had reached such rates among infants that, until recently, four in ten would be born with the condition. However, following a two-decade-long mother-to-child prevention programme, there is now just a one per cent chance of a newborn suffering the same fate, according to recently released data by the World Health Organization. Health officials in Botswana think that the prevalence of AIDS in the country's babies is continuing to fall and could soon almost be eradicated. 5. Could nanobots keep teeth healthier? A report in Futurity stated that experiments are ongoing into the effects of nanobot technology on oral health. Although the idea is only being tried out on mocked-up teeth at the moment, the concept is to use tiny robots to act as toothpaste, toothbrushes, floss and mouthwash – all in one. The research into this method of cleaning teeth is being conducted University of Pennsylvania’s School of Dental Medicine. Behind the move is the idea of being able to keep teeth cleaner and healthier than many people do by brushing manually. According to the lead researcher, Hyun Koo, robotics can offer a superior method which doesn't require you to use your hands. Would you turn to nanobots for cleaner teeth? shutterstock/Rido 6. Mindfulness reduces effects of pain In positive news that anyone who suffers from chronic pain will appreciate, a large study from the San Diego School of Medicine has just been published that indicates what a powerful tool mindfulness can be with respect to pain management. Published in the scholarly journal Pain, the study found that meditative practices help the brain to detach itself from the wider nervous system, thereby blocking – or partially interrupting – the sensations of pain people would otherwise have felt. Mindful behaviour – 13 practical mindfulness tools Mindfulness at work – 6 productive tips 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged 7. On-demand pain relief technology developed A research team in the US has come up with an implant that can relieve pain when patients feel they need it –without needing to rely on drugs. The soft, flexible device blocks pain by numbing nerves. It's hoped the idea will lead to less reliance on addictive painkillers while offering patients more agency in their pain relief, the Metro reported. 8. Spain offers free train travel to its citizens According to CNN, the Spanish government has announced that free train travel will be available to everyone in the country in a bid to get people out of their cars and use more public transport. The scheme will begin in September and will offer a 100 per cent reduction on the price of fares for local and intermediate distance journeys. The idea is to help Spain meet its carbon reduction commitments and ease the financial burdens around oil and energy prices consumers are currently facing. Germany has already announced a similar three-month scheme which allows for unlimited train travel for a nominal €9 a month. RELATED: 6 ways travel benefits happiness and mental health Spain is introducing temporary free train travel shutterstock/skyNext 9. Study finds psilocybin helps mental health in small doses Psilocybin may not be a household term but it's a naturally occurring compound found in various growing matters, including some mushrooms. It's a psychedelic ingredient that's structurally similar to the neurotransmitter serotonin, and can offer feelings of euphoria (as well as some side effects). However, a new study into psilocybin has found that taking it in very small quantities – so-called micro-dosing – offers many people positive mental health outcomes with few downsides. Symptoms of anxiety, stress and depression were found to be lower compared to people who did not micro-dose psychedelic substances over the course of a 30-day period. According to numerous reports, some now hope that the use of such natural substances may become more acceptable to the medical community. 10. Commercial carbon capture project unveiled in UK A scheme to capture carbon from the atmosphere has begun in Northwich in Cheshire. This is the largest project of its kind in the UK. It is hoped that when the plant is fully operational that it will be able to capture up to 40,000 tonnes of CO2 each year it is working, according to a report in New Scientist. The people behind the scheme will produce sodium bicarbonate, commonly known as baking powder from their facility. The commercial project was partially funded by the British government. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Biology | Sustainability | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.
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Self-forgiveness is important for our mental health and overall well-being, research suggests. Sonia Vadlamani explains the seven steps you can take to learn how to forgive yourself and move forward to lead a happier, more meaningful life. ‘To err is human, but to forgive is divine’ as the age-old saying goes. Indeed, it’s a fact of life that we all make mistakes. However, learning from these errors, letting go of the negative emotions attached to them – such as guilt, resentment, shame – and moving on by practising self-forgiveness is crucial for our well-being and happiness. Forgiveness, or the deliberate choice to let go of anger, regret or revenge towards someone who may have wronged you, can be a helpful healing tool. However, often people don’t realize that forgiving themselves is a viable choice that they can put in practice. In addition, while forgiving others for their wrongdoings can come easily to us, we usually find it much harder to condone our own mistakes from the past and practise self-forgiveness. Contrary to what you may assume, self-forgiveness doesn’t mean that you’re off the hook for your past bad behavior. It doesn’t even mean that the action you regret needs to be tolerated further or forgotten. Instead, forgiving yourself entails accepting and taking accountability for your misdirected actions, thoughts or feelings. Indeed, self-forgiveness involves knowing that you can’t change your past behaviour/s, but are willing to come to terms with the wrongful act and consequently, let go of the past. Why self-forgiveness is essential Self-forgiveness does not always come easy, as it requires us to acknowledge and accept some uncomfortable facts or feelings. However, it is essential to know how to forgive yourself, as dwelling in negative feelings like guilt, shame, frustration and anger can take a toll on our mental health and physical well-being. Dwelling in these feelings can lead to self-hatred, impacting our well-being and happiness levels. In fact, research points out that the ability to forgive yourself with greater ease is directly linked to higher overall well-being levels. Additionally, researchers Michael Wohl et al suggest that higher levels of self-forgiveness can also serve as a protective shield from conditions like depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety. Self-forgiveness is linked to higher levels of happiness Indeed, self-forgiveness entails some degree of cognitive reframing of one’s views about themselves. Researcher Margaret R Holmgren suggests that the ability to forgive ourselves allows us to recognize our intrinsic worth and its independence from our wrongdoing. This means that over time and with consistent practice, we can forgive ourselves with greater ease and lead a stress-free, productive and meaningful life. How to forgive yourself: 7 steps Forgiveness doesn’t just benefit others you’ve wronged or were unfair to, but is beneficial for you as well. In fact, self-forgiveness allows you to develop deeper perception regarding your actions and thoughts. Learning how to forgive yourself enables you to move forward with a better understanding of how you react in different situations, strengthening your resolve to prevent such behavior in the future. Learning how to forgive someone How to let go of resentment 12 ways to practise self-acceptance Indeed, forgiving yourself constitutes an important part of correcting your wrongful actions or behavior for the future course. However, research points out that self-forgiveness doesn’t happen unintentionally, but is a conscious effort that relies on a carefully devised, stepwise approach. Here are seven steps suggested to help you exercise self-forgiveness, including undertaking suitable actions for making necessary changes in your behavior. 1. Define what forgiveness means to you Self-forgiveness holds different meanings for different people, even though the end goal remains the same, which is to come to terms with our actions or feelings from the past, instead of wallowing in regret, guilt or shame. Our definition of self-forgiveness usually stems from our personal beliefs, value systems, family, religious ideology, etc. “It is essential to know how to forgive yourself, as dwelling in negative feelings like guilt, shame, frustration and anger can take a toll on our mental health and physical well-being.” For example, for me, I’ve understood over the years that self-forgiveness involves coming clean and apologizing sincerely to the person I may have hurt, no matter how difficult or trivial it may seem at the time. Understand what forgiveness means to you and proceed to define it in a clear manner, so that you can devise the approach that aligns best with your thought process and values. 2. Recognize your feelings This step requires you to sort through the various emotions you experience when you recollect a wrongful action committed in the past and acknowledge the feelings you identify with the most at the moment. Set aside some time to experience each feeling without any judgment, as you recount your wrongful action or unfair behavior that’s bothering your conscience. Resist the temptation to deny acknowledgement of your feelings due to shame or guilt, as ignoring these emotions can cause further inner turmoil. On the other hand, acknowledging these feelings will help you gain a deeper insight, allowing you to forgive yourself and possibly prevent such situations from arising in the future. 3. Take responsibility for your actions This may prove to be the most challenging step, especially because accepting the fact that you made a mistake or acted unfairly isn’t always an easy feat. However, it can’t be denied that acknowledging your mistakes and assuming responsibility for the same is the steadiest way to forgive yourself for your unjust behavior in the past. Taking the time to acknowledge your missteps also allows you to gain an in-depth perspective about your reaction to various stimuli and vulnerabilities. This will enable you to move forward in life and may help improve your composure during unforeseen situations in the future. 4. Apologize with sincerity A sincere, heartfelt apology makes a significant impact when it comes to self-forgiveness or forgiving others, according to a 2021 study from Japan's Kobe Gakuin University. Researchers there reviewed the effect of different types of apologies on various conflict resolution situations. Apologizing for your actions conveys your regret regarding the pain you may have inflicted on someone. It shows that you reflected on your mistake, acknowledge the emotions of someone who was wronged, and are willing to act in a different way in the future to avoid a similar mistake. Apologizing to others help with your own self-forgiveness shutterstock/fizkes 5. Draw focus onto the lessons learnt Forgiving yourself will truly be possible when you’re ready to learn from your mistakes and wrongful acts in the past. Instead of constantly criticizing or condemning yourself, strive to understand what causes the behaviors which you may later regret. Learn from your vulnerability, fears and failures by reflecting on questions like, “Why does this situation lead me to act in a certain manner?”, “How can I deal with this situation more gracefully?” or “How do I rectify my default reaction should this scenario arise again?” 6. Make meaningful amends Once you’ve acknowledged your mistakes and apologized, consider what else you can do to resolve the mistake, and devise an action plan to achieve it. For instance, when I realized that sometimes my witty quips end up offending or hurting people around me, I decided to simply be more mindful about the way I put my thoughts into words. After all, there isn’t a way to take back the words we’ve already uttered, but it’s possible to prevent the hurt and misunderstandings if we communicate respectfully and with kindness in the first place. “Higher levels of self-forgiveness can also serve as a protective shield from conditions like depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and anxiety.” Bringing about meaningful changes in your behavior and actions can help you shift your focus from mistakes of the past to working towards a more effective solution for the future. 7. Be compassionate Have you ever noticed that we tend to be harder on ourselves, and find it easier to forgive others than ourselves for the wrongs of the past? Carole Pertofsky, Director Emerita for Wellness and Health Promotion at Stanford University, implies that we are prone to self-criticism and tend to judge ourselves harshly while mistaking it for self-discipline, which makes it difficult for us to exercise self-compassion. “Self-forgiveness is treating yourself as you would treat your own friend,” Pertofsky told Scope, the Stanford Medicine magazine. “It is a skill that involves mind, body, heart and action,” she continues. Indeed, we can learn to treat ourselves with compassion by embracing our imperfections and work towards living a life without regret. Takeaway: self-forgiveness Self-forgiveness may not come easily to most of us, as it needs us to acknowledge uncomfortable feelings, and serves to remind us of our flawed nature. However, coming to terms with your imperfections and forgiving yourself for any wrongdoing can positively impact several areas of your life. Learning how to forgive yourself with greater ease is an essential skill that requires some introspection and practice. Implementing these steps for self-forgiveness in practice will equip you to act more responsibly in the future, in addition to teaching you to exercise mindfulness and inculcate gratitude in everyday life. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Communication skills | Trust | Empathy Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.
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Mental health services are becoming increasingly important in today's society. Life coaching is a form of mental health service that helps people to identify and achieve their goals, while also providing support and guidance through difficult times. It can be used to help individuals understand themselves better, build self-confidence, improve relationships with others, as well as manage stress levels more effectively. Life coaches offer an objective perspective on life challenges which can help individuals make positive changes in their lives.
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Depression
josephmack replied to Ahmed786 's topic in Introduction Circle - A warm welcome to happiness!
hey! I'm Joseph Mack, Depression is a serious mental health condition that can have a significant impact on an individual's life. It is important to seek help from qualified professionals if you are feeling depressed or overwhelmed. Mental Health services such as counseling, psychotherapy and medication management can be beneficial in helping individuals manage their depression symptoms. Additionally, lifestyle changes such as regular exercise, healthy eating habits and social support networks may also help reduce the severity of depression symptoms. -
Making your bed in the morning may seem like a trivial chore, but it's one that many of us don't bother with. But, as Dee Marques explains, taking just a few moments to make your bed could set you up mentally for the rest of the day – and beyond. Many of us can probably remember one not-so-great memory from our childhoods: our parents instructing us to make our beds in the morning! Many years later, some adults still have mixed feelings about this habit. In fact, making or not making the bed seems to be a controversial topic. In some ways, it even defines personalities; you may have heard the tongue-in-cheek expression that there are two types of people in the world – those who make their beds and those who don’t. Of course, whether we make our bed or not is a personal choice, but, interestingly, it can have an impact on our mental well-being. So, which side of the bed-making debate do you lay on? If you're rushing to get to work or take the kids to school, tidying your sleeping space might be the last thing you want to do, but it turns out that taking a minute or two to do just that could have a positive impact on the rest of your day. Why you should make your bed every day Retired US admiral William McRaven once said that “if you want to change the world, start by making your bed”. He even wrote a book about it, the aptly entitled Make Your Bed. But McRaven isn’t the only well-known personality to extol the virtues of this orderly habit. Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson also said something along those lines when he wrote that one of the key rules for life is cleaning your room, which, of course, also includes making your bed. When reading these statements, you might wonder what does making your bed have to do with bringing change to the world? Making your bed builds a foundation for other good habits The short answer is that making your bed is a healthy habit that ensures you start your day with an accomplishment. Even if this specific task of bed-making seems small, it can make a big difference to your mindset for the rest of the day. Indeed, your internal dialogue can go from “today I didn’t accomplish much, I didn’t even make my bed!”, to, “even if nothing else goes well today, at least I bothered to make my bed!”. In fact, good habits and the positive attitude they cause are the cornerstones of healthy change – which can start in your own bedroom. Five reasons to make your bed daily There are other benefits to making your bed every day, beyond the powerful impact on habits, daily structure and internal stability. 1. It encourages order and organization There’s something visual about a made (or unmade) bed. The first transmits the idea of order, whereas the second does exactly the opposite. Living in a messy environment has been linked to some mental health conditions, like depression, and it could also suggest that a person is struggling to cope with problems or feeling overwhelmed. On the other hand, psychologists believe that organization helps with stress reduction, and that disorganization can impair our ability to focus. The opposite is also true; making your bed is a step towards getting your room or house organized. 2. It improves self-confidence Making your bed every day may seem trivial, but the action can serve as a reminder that you’re in control of at least one thing in your life. Like other habits, making your bed daily requires responsibility and commitment. Knowing that you can set your mind to something and persevere day after day can increase your personal satisfaction levels and improve your confidence in your own abilities. “Making your bed every day may seem trivial, but the action can serve as a reminder that you’re in control of at least one thing. Like other habits, making your bed daily requires responsibility and commitment.” This habit can be 'practice' for other tasks that may lie ahead and make you feel more confident about your ability to tackle them. There’s some pride in saying “I did this today”, or, “I took care of my immediate environment first thing in the morning”. 3. It can help you sleep better Getting better sleep is essential to our mental and physical health, but there are lots of things that can interfere with restorative sleep. The brain controls part of the sleep cycle, so if it detects something uncomfortable, the quality of your sleep may be affected. RELATED: 14 sleep hacks to get a good night's rest That 'something' can be invisible (like worrying about something before heading to bed) or visible, like the tidy bed you made in the morning. The sight of a made-up bed can send a signal to the brain to make sleep more appealing and less vulnerable to disruption. Making your bed every day could help you to sleep better shutterstock/Prostock-studio 4. It prepares you for bigger challenges One of the reasons behind inaction or demotivation is skipping steps when goal setting. For example, someone who wants to start exercising can frame the goal as, “I want to work out every day”. But if they don’t start by exercising one or two days a week, the whole goal seems unattainable. The same applies to making your bed. By doing this, you’re setting up the basis for adopting bigger goals or routines. And if you’re the type of person who resists the idea of making the bed every morning, knowing you can push past the resistance can prepare you for bigger challenges. 5. It's the foundation of other good habits A survey with 68,000 participants found that people who made their beds daily felt more satisfied with life and felt better physically than those who didn’t. And while we can’t establish a direct causal link between making your bed and being happier, it can be a roundabout way to higher well-being. “When making your bed becomes a daily habit, expect to see improvements in your organization skills, self-confidence and even your sleep quality.” This is mostly because sticking to a productive habit makes it easier to develop other good habits. And the more good habits in our life, the more we are investing in our physical and mental health. Some tips if you struggle making your bed daily If you've decided to be more consistent in making your bed every day, you may face the typical resistance that is felt when adopting new habits. This can materialize in the form of excuses, low motivation, procrastinating, etc. Here are some tips to help you with that: Start with a manageable and specific goal. If you're goal isn’t too overwhelming, you’re more likely to go through with it. For example, instead of saying “I will always make my bed”, start with “I’ll make my bed every day this week”. Connect the new habit to an old habit. This is a useful of way of not conveniently 'forgetting' to make your bed when you’ve decided to do it every day. For example, if you shower every morning, leave the bath towel on your bed, so you’ll have no option but to see the unmade bed when you pick up the towel before showering. Use a visual reminder, like a Post-it note on your mirror or on the kitchen cupboard. You could also set an alarm on your phone. If you're still struggling, get help from a friend or family member. Just letting someone know of what you’re trying to do and asking them to check on you can improve accountability levels. Take 'failure' the smart way. If you don’t make your bed one day, don’t let it become an excuse for not doing it ever again. We all have setbacks when creating new habits. What matters is finding out what causes those setbacks and what we can learn to prevent them from happening again in the future. Takeaway: making your bed Making your bed is a positive habit that takes little effort once you push past the initial resistance. Indeed, when this becomes a daily habit, you can expect to see improvements in your organization skills, your self-confidence, your ability to create other good habits, and even your sleep quality – these are all fantastic benefits for something that only takes a couple of minutes of your day! • Main image: shutterstock/Crime Art happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Self Care | Courage | Acceptance Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
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Yogasanas to uplift mood The practice of yoga has been known to have numerous benefits for physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. At Kaivalyadhama Institute, the focus is on using yoga to uplift mood and promote positive emotions. The institute offers a variety of Yogasanas, or yoga postures, that are specifically designed to improve mood, reduce stress, and increase overall happiness. These Yogasanas include poses such as Bhujangasana, or Cobra Pose, which can help to increase energy levels and improve mood by opening the chest and heart center. With the guidance of experienced instructors at Kaivalyadhama, individuals can learn how to use these Yogasanas to uplift their mood and cultivate a positive mindset. Whether practiced alone or as part of a larger yoga practice, these simple postures can have a profound impact on mental and emotional wellbeing, helping individuals to live a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.
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How to reduced stress/anxiety
josephmack replied to Kazshah 's topic in Happiness & Life Advice Forum
Many people may not realize the negative effects of stress and anxiety on their body and mental health. The best way to reduce stress is to learn about its causes and how to manage it. One way to reduce stress is through meditation. Meditation can help you relax and develop a more positive outlook on life. If you get reduce your stress anxiety you must to need mental health services. -
The bright side of May: the good things that happened
Calvin77 posted an article in INSPIRATION & SPIRITUALITY
There were many feel-good health and environmental stories in the press in May, but you may not have spotted them. Ed Gould shares his Top 10 from the past month to uplift and inspire. The month of May often feels as though renewal is taking place as spring is in full swing – in the northern hemisphere, at least – and this means that positive news stories ought to get more attention than they do. Although there were numerous good news stories in May, not all of them got the attention they deserved. Read on to enjoy some of the brightest positive news items from the past few weeks. 1. Lithium shortage may be a thing of the past The world uses lithium for all sorts of things, but one of its primary applications is in rechargeable batteries. And, if the world is to move away from fossil fuels, it will need more battery production – but lithium is already in short supply from traditional sources. However, according to a report in TechCrunch, it could be possible to extract lithium from seawater. It reported that a number of start-up tech companies have plans to extract trace elements of the metal from the world's oceans, thereby potentially reducing the costs of many clean-energy schemes by a significant degree. 2. A healthier lifestyle in your 40s can add six years to your life According to Yahoo News Canada, adopting a healthy lifestyle even in middle age can mean being able to expect a longer lifespan. Cutting back on alcohol, giving up smoking, losing a few pounds and increasing the amount of time you sleep are always advisable, but this report makes it clear that even people who are late adopters of healthy lifestyles can benefit with up to six years more of life expectancy. The report was based on a study conducted in Japan. The findings showed that even people with long-term conditions could benefit in this way if they choose to be more healthy in their 40s. A healthy middle-age can extend life expectancy 3. Age-related memory dysfunction better understood Scientists at Johns Hopkins University in the United States announced that they have pinpointed a mechanism in the human brain that they believe is responsible for the most common type of memory loss. Their results shed light on what happens when age-related memory loss occurs if people are living with dementia conditions such as Alzheimer’s disease. By better understanding the mechanism that controls memory loss in older brains, it's hoped that pharmaceutical companies will be better placed to develop more effective drug treatments that halt or even reverse memory loss as people age. RELATED: Cognitive impairment – 5 ways to reduce the risk as you age 4. Enzyme found that can break plastics down A report in Metro stated that Texan researchers have discovered a particular type of protein that can be used to rid the world of some of its worst plastics, particularly the ones used to make bottles. So-called PET plastics are virtually indestructible naturally but the discovery of the enzyme means this plastic could now be recycled just as other types currently are. At the moment, PET accounts for about a fifth of the globe's plastic consumption. 5. Wounds could heal quicker thanks to nanotechnology Spain's Institute of Bioengineering claims to have developed what it calls “motors” that will physically push antibiotic drugs around wounds – to help them heal more rapidly than they otherwise would. The idea is to make use of the body's viscous fluids to distribute drugs in a more effective way. In addition to treating wounds with antibiotics, the developers have said that it is feasible that the motors – which, in reality, are tiny robots – could also be used to increase the effectiveness of certain anti-cancer drug treatments. According to César de la Fuente, a bioengineer at the University of Pennsylvania who also took part in the project, the nanobots they've developed can actually travel around a wound and clear up an infection as they move. 6. Carbon removal plant starts operations in Hawaii According to a report published by Interesting Engineering, a carbon removal plant that is assisted by the Pacific Ocean has begun operating to help reduce the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. The report also suggested that the fight against global climate change will take many forms but actively taking carbon away from the atmosphere is one of the best ways of dealing with rising levels of CO2. The plant permanently stores CO2 by pumping saltwater into a machine that applies electricity to rearrange the molecules in the fluid. Not only does this help to deal with climate change but it also reduces the acidity of the ocean. The seawater is then returned to the Pacific where it will consequently be more effective at storing carbon thanks to its lower acidity level. 7. Chronic pain treated by mindfulness is effective A report by the BBC stated that the mental health outcomes of people living with chronic pain – pain that is suffered to some extent for at least 12 weeks – can lead to numerous examples of poor mental health outcomes. Staying mindful could help people cope with chronic pain However, when mindfulness exercises are used to help deal with them, they can be highly effective. Crucially, the news report looked into the mental health outcomes associated with pain rather than the symptoms of pain themselves. A professor at Oxford University, Willem Kuyken, who is also a director of the Oxford Mindfulness Centre, said that the ability to be in the present moment without judgement was why mindfulness was so effective in this regard and, therefore, an effective treatment method in handling chronic pain. 8. Largest solar farm floated in Portugal The biggest solar array in Europe to be installed on water is expected to begin producing green energy by July. In May it was announced that work had begun fitting solar panels onto a floating substructure. Tugboats have been used to move the 12,000 panels used in the array to help position it on the surface of Portugal's Alqueva reservoir. For context, the number of panels used takes up about the same amount of space as four football fields. When completed, the solar farm should be able to produce 5 megawatts of power, according to a report in EuroNews. Largest solar farm has been built in Portugal shutterstock/pan denim 9. New device developed to detect skin cancers early A handheld gadget has been developed that could help clinicians to identify skin cancer much more easily. Rather than asking people to come into clinics for diagnoses, the portable device can be used anywhere and provide people with on-the-spot results. Researchers at Stevens Institute of Technology came up with the system and hope it could mean many fewer skin biopsies will be needed in the future. 10. 3-D printing deployed to help marine habitats The world's coral reefs have been under threat for some time. However, a new technology has been developed that it's hoped will help to preserve these delicate eco-systems. Israeli scientists have been working on 3-D printed replicas of the sort of habitats that corals like. The idea is to boost current restoration efforts in coral reefs by integrating the manufactured versions with existing reefs to add to the natural eco-system currently in place. • Main image: shutterstock/TananyaaPithi happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Biology | Sustainability | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki. -
This is true. Life coaching helps you to feel free from depression and improve your mental health. Mental health is the most important part of your life, because if your mind is healthy then physically you will be healthy as well. So you should take care of it and go for life coaching to make sure that you do not suffer from any type of mental illness in the future.
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Without further information, this is hard to answer. The question is pretty general, so an answer would need to be true for all mental health illnesses existing. Since (I guess) nobody knows every single mental health illness, there can only be vague answers. It depends on the specific mental health illness. So we would need more details to remember people who has been cured from the same illness.
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How to Practise Niksen: the Art of Doing Nothing
Calvin77 posted an article in INSPIRATION & SPIRITUALITY
What exactly is Niksen, the Danish art of doing nothing? Dee Marques takes up the arduous challenge of, well, sitting and doing very little at all, in order to discover the benefits it can bring to the mind and body. Have you ever needed a break urgently, but then felt bad about taking it? Unfortunately, many of us feel guilty about doing nothing due to the belief that we must constantly be achieving or producing something, otherwise we’ll be branded as lazy. So when we hear about trends that embrace “the art of doing nothing”, we might equate them with a character flaw or roll our eyes incredulously. I’ll admit that I’m guilty of this, so before writing this article I did several 10-minute sessions trying to experience what the art of doing nothing felt like. And, initially, I will admit that it felt stressful. The first time I sat in my crafts room and my eyes instantly wandered to my book shelf, so I started to think about all the books I hadn’t managed to read yet. Then I saw my box of sewing UFOs (unfinished objects) and felt the pressure to get on with them. The art of doing nothing at all is such an alien concept that my husband even walked in while I was staring out of the window and asked me “are you OK?”, which shows that we’ve come to see idleness as a sign that something must be wrong. Indulge in the art of doing nothing shutterstock/stockfour The problem is that being constantly on the go can raise stress levels, cause anxiety, and interfere with getting better sleep. This can get us into a catch-22 situation: being tired and stressed can lower productivity, and the fewer things we get done, the more stressed we become and the more we push ourselves, which is the perfect recipe for burnout. Moreover, the COVID pandemic has changed many things. Whereas before staying in was a way to relax and de-stress, that’s no longer the case for many people who feel antsy having their busy schedule disrupted. But at the same time, lockdowns have created an opportunity to explore our habits and whether we use time in the best possible way. So, there's never been a more appropriate time to ask why we should incorporate the art of doing nothing into our daily routine. What is Niksen, the art of doing nothing? Niksen is a Dutch word that’s hard to translate into English, although that doesn’t mean that the art of doing nothing can’t be learned! Olga Mecking, author of a book on how to embrace the art of doing nothing, defines Niksen as doing something without a purpose. Indeed, the only purpose of Niksen is to enjoy the feeling of doing nothing. It’s similar to the Italian expression dolce far niente, the sweetness of doing nothing. “Mastering Niksen – the art of doing nothing – can counter the constant bombardment of information we’re exposed to in everyday life.” Before moving on, we should clarify what Niksen is not. It’s not mindfulness, where we are trying to pay attention to our immediate thoughts and surroundings. During Niksen, the mind roams free. And it’s not laying on the sofa looking at our social media feed, because when we do this the wheels are still spinning. There’s a difference between laying on the couch while scrolling through your phone and simply laying on the couch, just because. The art of doing nothing is about being idle. It could be something like simply sitting in a chair or looking out the window, which is still an action but doesn’t have an ultimate purpose or intention. What are the benefits of practising Niksen? The Netherlands is often ranked among the world’s happiest countries and in 2021 it made it to the top five. Could one of the reasons why this nation is so joyous be due to the fact that the Dutch embrace the art of doing nothing? Happiness requires good mental and physical health. Practising Niksen gives the mind and body a break, and as research has proven, slowing down can lower stress and strengthen the immune system. Carolien Hamming, one of the experts on Niksen, says that we need to be recharged, just like we recharge our mobile phones when they run out of battery. Doing so will make us less vulnerable to physical and mental burnout. MORE LIKE THIS: Feel Stress-Free Fast – 11 Science-Backed Techniques The Power of Pottering Around How to Protect Your Energy: 7 Science Backed Techniques Mastering the art of doing nothing can counter the constant bombardment of information we’re exposed to in everyday life. Studies show that our brain has to process approximately 74GB of information every day, which is equivalent to 16 movies. This can easily cause feelings of exhaustion and some researchers suggest it can interfere with decision making, unless we start to fully embrace the art of doing nothing. Niksen lets your mind take a break shutterstock/fizkes Japanese doctor Naoko Yamamoto – who has lived in the Netherlands for years – knows what benefits the art of doing nothing can bring. According to her, Niksen is more than a way to manage stress: those peaceful, reflective moments can become sources of inspiration. Studies confirm that a wandering mind isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and there’s a whole book written on the impact of mind idleness on creativity and problem solving. So, how do you practise Niksen? After reading more about Niksen, I tried some more do-nothing sessions and noticed that the experience stopped being so stressful. Granted, doing nothing isn’t easy in societies where a fast-paced lifestyle is the norm, and letting the mind wander is easier said than done, but it is possible. Here are few guidelines to help you start practising the art of doing nothing: Start small and aim for a few minutes at the time. This site can be useful. Schedule Niksen time several times a day. Personally, I've found it helpful to practise it in between tasks when working from home, as it gives me a clean break. Expect to feel guilty or weird at first, and stop if you notice negative thoughts or you start worrying or ruminating. Make it a device-free space. Choose something that doesn’t require thinking. Back at school, you were probably told to focus and stop daydreaming! But daydreaming can be Niksen, as it doesn’t achieve anything and serves no particular purpose; it’s just letting the mind go where it wants to go. Go for a walk without planning the route in advance; just go where your feet take you. Remember the story about Isaac Newton and the apple falling from a tree? What was he doing under a tree anyway? Probably indulging in the art of doing nothing. So why not “just” sit under a tree? You can be doing something physically and at the same time keep your mind in Niksen mode. For example, birdwatching or knitting repetitive stitches. Make the most of the wet spring weather and just sit by a window watching the rain fall. Have a pet? Watch them for a while. They’ll probably be doing Niksen too! As suggested in this first-person account, Niksen can even be something seemingly boring and irrelevant, like just watching coffee brew. Whatever you do, don’t multitask during Niksen time. Conclusions: doing nothing does something Niksen is allowing yourself the luxury of taking a mental break and giving your brain a short holiday. It may take some practice to reprogram ourselves so that we don’t see doing nothing as a waste of time, but rather as an investment in self-care and well-being. The boundaries between rest and productivity are blurred in modern life, so Niksen can help us differentiate these concepts and ways of using time and appreciate each one of them for their positive aspects. So, will you be scheduling Niksen time this week? It’s the first step towards mastering the art of doing nothing and enjoying every second of it! • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Work life balance | Coaching Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter. -
The 4 signs that distinguish feeling blue from depression
Calvin77 posted an article in HEALTH & BODY
We all feel blue sometimes but how do you know if it'll pass or you're actually in a deep depression? Dee Marques explains the four key things that distinguish between feeling low and a more serious mental health issue. Plus, she suggests some key ideas to banish the blues. Even under normal circumstances the New Year can bring contradictory feelings: it’s meant to be a time for new beginnings and positivity, but not everyone feels in good spirits. In reality, it’s rather the opposite, since January is actually known as a prime time for feeling blue and is the most depressing month of the year. In a previous article I wrote about how the January blues is a real thing. Low morale can be a result of limited exposure to natural light, having fewer opportunities to spend time outdoors and recharge our batteries by being in contact with nature, financial pressure after heavy holiday spending, and the shock of having to go back to “normal life”. With all that in mind – and the continued restrictions and threat from COVID-19 – it’s hardly surprising that many of us have been feeling blue right now. This feeling is not new, and there are references to it that go back hundred of years. In fact, it seems that the expression “feeling blue” comes from an old sailing tradition. In the past, blue flags would be flown if a ship lost the captain or another crew member. This was to signal feelings of loss and sadness, similar to the main symptoms of the blues: demotivation, lack of energy, and being tearful or more sensitive than usual. Feeling blue vs depression I’ve struggled with occasionally feeling blue and down for years, and I’ve learned that in some cases it’s justified. In some ways, feeling blue may actually be a positive thing, in the sense that it’s a sign that we need to pay close attention to our habits, views and environment. Ask yourself: are you just feeling blue or clinically depressed? Indeed, no one should be expected to feel happy when faced when losing a job or being stuck in a rut, so we can say that under certain circumstances, feeling blue is a normal reaction to certain life events and we shouldn’t fight it. Instead, it could be more productive to allow ourselves to listen to that feeling and take steps to make our lives more meaningful. RELATED: How to find meaning in life – 7 strategies However, the problem comes when feeling blue becomes the rule rather than the exception. Everyone can have a bad day, bad week, or bad month – especially since we are now living through a pandemic. But if the low mood persists and we do nothing to curb it, it may a slippery slope towards depression. Indeed, it's essential to clarify that feeling blue is not the same as being depressed. Clinical depression is a mood disorder, a mental health condition that can affect mind and body. So, how do you know if you’re simply feeling blue or if it’s something more serious, like depression? Here are the four key factors that can help you distinguish between the two: 1. A specific cause One of the main differences is that the blues usually has a specific cause, and you’re able to pinpoint your feelings of sadness to a specific event, such as losing a parent, missing out on an important opportunity, adult bullying, or a romantic break-up. On the other hand, people who are depressed can’t usually trace back their feelings to a concrete event. The low spirits are just there, and they linger on and on precisely because they don’t seem to have an identifiable cause. 2. Duration This brings us to another important difference between feeling blue and being depressed, which is duration. Feeling blue is usually temporary and we know the sadness will pass, even when we’re in the middle of it. But people affected by depression see no end to their gloomy feelings: we can quite literally compare depression to not ever being able to see light at the end of the tunnel. 3. Intensity It’s not hard to imagine how much of a burden this feeling can be to mental health, so the intensity of the symptoms is much stronger in depression. The intensity is such that the sadness takes over pretty much every thought and action. Unlike feeling blue, which usually improves when we do something we enjoy, a characteristic of depression is the distinct inability to find enjoyment – even in the things that used to bring us joy. “In some ways, feeling blue may actually be a positive thing, in the sense that it’s a sign that we need to pay close attention to our habits, views and environment.” From here it’s a vicious circle: if you can’t enjoy anything, there’s no point in doing anything. This is usually followed by feelings of numbness or emptiness, which reinforce the circle of hopelessness, negative thoughts and low motivation. In some cases, people may think that the only way to feel something and snap out of the numbness is self harm. This is a clear sign of depression. 4. Symptoms Because the intensity of sadness in depression is so severe, it can disrupt everyday life and cause physical symptoms, including sleep disorders, an inability to concentrate, poor memory, headaches, digestive issues and appetite changes. These can happen with you are feeling blue too, but they’re short lived and don’t usually stop you from getting on with your day. RELATED: 8 powerful suicide prevention quotes The number of symptoms and their intensity can vary from person to person, but it’s generally agreed that someone can be diagnosed with clinical depression if a combination of these symptoms is present for more than two weeks or if suicidal thoughts are present, even if occasionally. Without treatment, depression can persist for several months or even years, so it’s essential to seek treatment as soon as possible. Lifting your spirits when you’re feeling blue Unlike depression, occasionally feeling blue doesn’t require treatment in terms of medication or CBT. But nobody enjoys feeling down, so there are many things we can do to lift our spirits during this phase of feeling low. Remember that our ability to enjoy the things we love isn’t usually affected by feeling blue, so the first suggestion is to make time to do those things. FEELING LOW? Sign-up free and join our supportive community The old saying goes that laughter is the best medicine, and this applies to fighting the blues, too. Watching a comedy or trying a session of laughter yoga – yes, it really is a thing – can help improve your mood. Beat the blues with laughter shutterstock/Flamingo Images When affected by the winter blues, we may not feel particularly energetic, but physical activity is a great mood booster. Going for a walk, mindful running, swimming, cycling or kickboxing… whatever gives you an exercise high is worth trying. And if you can’t leave the house, you can still keep active: put on your favourite music and dance, do some yoga or stretching. “Laughter is the best medicine, and this applies to fighting the blues, too. Watching a comedy or trying laughter yoga can really boost your mood.” Furthermore, I’m a great believer in the power of creativity. Human beings are the only species capable of producing and enjoying forms of art like painting, writing, or photography, which says a lot about our creative nature. If you don’t have a creative hobby, it’s time to find one. Experiencing the power of creativity can change our mood, self-image and general outlook on life. What's more, you could discover your flow state and unlock one of the main keys to happiness. JOIN US! Share your stories and challenges and find new friends Finally, one last suggestion to lift your spirits when you're feeling blue would be to make small changes to bring some novelty to your routine. Rearranging furniture in your bedroom, getting a new haircut or colour, trying a new recipe, or doing something you’ve never done before. Simply pottering around can do wonders for your mood! Conclusion: feeling blue Feeling in low spirits? You’re not alone. The blues can come at any time of the year but often hits in January and February. It can be an opportunity to review our goals, habits and views. If you’re affected by feeling blue, try some of the suggestions above and chances are they’ll brighten your mood. But if things don’t improve and you think you have depressive symptoms, seek help immediately. Your mental health is too important to postpone treatment. • Main image: shutterstock/panitan photo If you're experiencing any of the signs of depression make sure to reach out to your local mental health services. In the US, you can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for free and confidential support. Use Lifeline Chat or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). In the UK, call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected] for a reply within 24 hours. You can also text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text “YM” if you are under 19. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy classes Goal setting | Healthy habits | Happiness Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter. -
Relaxing, fun, mood-enhancing: most of us have enjoyed the short-term benefits of drinking alcohol. But as Dee Marques discovers, many more of us are now choosing to quit alcohol all together due to the mental and physical health gains of living a teetotal life... You know that warm, fuzzy feeling that comes after having had a few? It can sometimes be hard to say no to the de-stressing effect alcohol, especially after a tough day – or a tough year. Truth is, moderate alcohol consumption has been proven to have a calming or even sedative effect. And that’s precisely why many people have made drinking alcohol a part of their daily routine. The problem is that there’s a fine line between 'moderate' and 'excessive', and in many countries, excessive drinking isn’t just tolerated, but also encouraged. For example, countries like the US and the UK are known for their drinking culture, since the consumption of alcohol is built into socialising. Indeed, in the UK, it’s estimated that nearly 25 per cent of adults drink more than the recommended daily units, and binge drinking is still a reality for 27 per cent of the population. And in the US, data show that 25 per cent of people over 18 engaged in binge drinking in the month before being interviewed. • JOIN US! Need support? Sign-up to happiness.com and join a community that cares • Recent lockdowns and pandemic-related stress have driven even more people to regular drinking, or to increasing the amounts of alcohol they consume. In a UK survey from July 2020, a third of the people admitted to having increased both the frequency and the amount of alcohol they drank during the country's first lockdown. However, there has also been a shift in attitudes to drinking. Since the mid-2000s, alcohol consumption has been falling, especially among the younger generations. In fact, Brits aged 65 and above are the heaviest drinkers, while 20 per cent of all adults claim to be non-drinkers, with those aged 16 to 24 being the largest group of teetotalers. “One of the greatest benefits of being teetotal is that your body builds its natural defences against disease. Quitting alcohol can reduce the risk of developing diabetes as well as cancer.” Also, the low-alcohol or alcohol-free beer and wine market is growing, which suggests a trend towards moderation. Sober September was created a while back to help more people experience the benefits of teetotal living. Need reasons to join the challenge? Here are some. Reasons to stop drinking To understand the benefits of teetotal living, we first need to know the consequences alcohol has on mind and body. The effects vary from person to person, depending on their age, health condition and tolerance to alcohol. But the effects exist, and they include: Physical short-term effects: Headaches Poor coordination, perception and reaction times Slurred speech and blurred vision. Nausea and vomiting. Drowsiness. Long-term effects can include: Hepatitis and cirrhosis. Heart disease and stroke. Cognitive problems affecting learning ability, blackouts and brain damage. Being teetotal means hangovers are a thing of the past shutterstock/Marcos Mesa Sam Wordley There are also mental health issues linked to frequent alcohol consumption, which include mood swings, disrupted sleep patterns, irritability and depression. Plus, frequent drinking is also felt in your wallet. The average UK family spends nearly £1,000 a year in booze, whereas some studies say the lifetime cost of drinking is approximately £50,000. In view of the disadvantages, it’s time to weigh the costs against the benefits of being teetotal. Nine long-term benefits of being teetotal The benefits of being teetotal are scientifically proven and include: 1. Improved sleep quality That night cap before bed is not as effective as it may seem. Instant relaxation is often followed by frequent awakenings through the night, since alcohol disrupts the sleep cycle by interfering with the hormones that regulate it. Once you remove that interference, you’re more likely to enjoy a full night of rest, although a third of heavy drinkers struggle with insomnia when they quit as part of the withdrawal process. But the struggle is worth it and we’ve written about the benefits of deep sleep meditation to help you get through this. 2. More energy Poor sleep and waking up feeling tired set the mood for the rest of the day. Quit alcohol to experience improved energy levels, which can also motivate you to achieve goals you had set aside just because you were too tired. 3. Clearer skin Alcohol interferes with the absorption of nutrients and can damage gut health. Once you quit, you give your digestive system a boost so it processes all vitamins and nutrients, which is reflected in skin health. And because alcohol causes dehydration, one of the benefits of being teetotal is a healthier and more youthful complexion. 4. Healthier weight When I started exercising regularly, I was surprised at how much my trainer emphasised that better and faster results would come if I didn’t drink alcohol at all. After all, alcoholic drinks are just empty calories responsible for abdominal obesity since they keep the body busy digesting those calories instead of burning fat. Quitting booze can you help make better food choices, as a study found that people are more likely to go for fatty foods after drinking. “Poor sleep and waking up feeling tired set the mood for the rest of the day. Quit alcohol to experience improved energy levels.” This handy calculator shows how much money and calories you could save if you gave up your usual alcohol intake. The figures can be quite shocking, even if you only have three or four alcoholic drinks per week, as in my case. It definitely makes you consider the benefits of being teetotal. 5. Better focus Being alcohol-free can improve cognitive abilities, from decision making to problem solving and enhanced concentration. This type of focus can also help get in touch with your creative side, which has health benefits in its own right. 6. Better mood Alcohol disrupts several mood-regulating hormones. Once you hormonal profile is stable, you’re less prone to depressive symptoms. Moreover, you can gain self-confidence knowing you have control over your mood and don’t need alcohol to feel better. Cutting out alcohol is a mood-booster shutterstock/Cookie Studio 7. Improved liver function We’ve already said that alcohol takes its toll on the liver. This is one of the body’s most important organs, since it supports the digestive system, is responsible for processing nutrients and eliminating toxins. Over the years, even moderate drinking can affect the liver’s ability to function. • JOIN US! Sign-up free to happiness.com and share your story and challenges • Fortunately, the liver can repair itself once it’s given a break from alcohol. It’s generally agreed that going alcohol-free for a month while eating healthily and exercising can help boost liver function. 8. Reduced risk of disease One of the greatest benefits of being teetotal is that your body builds its natural defences against disease. Studies show that quitting alcohol can reduce the risk of developing diabetes as well as various types of cancer and heart disease. 9. Connect with your true strong self Drinking is the go-to coping mechanism for many people. But is it really a good strategy? Resorting to alcohol to feel better could actually be getting in the way of your self-development. On the other hand, one of the benefits of teetotal living is that it may prompt you to dig deep into the resources you already have or could have to become stronger in the face of adversity. 30 days to experience the benefits of teetotal living Being alcohol-free can help your body function at its best, reduce the risk of disease and contribute to a more stable mood. I don’t drink much, but I’m curious about what would happen if I didn’t drink at all. So, as it's Sober September, I’ll be trying to stay alcohol-free to experience the benefits of living a teetotal life. Will you join me? • Main image: shutterstock/wavebreakmedia happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gut health | Healthy habits | Anxiety Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
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Fundamentally, mental health and life coaching all seek to reveal what lies beneath the surface and help support those with mental health challenges. They accomplish this by asking the right questions that allow you to dig deep and find answers within yourself.
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Coping With Tinnitus: 10 Tips From Someone Living With It
Calvin77 posted an article in HEALTH & BODY
The ringing in the ears associated with tinnitus can dramatically impact on a person's quality of life. However, as Calvin Holbrook suggests, there are many ways you can cope with tinnitus. Here are ten practical ideas based on his own experience. Writing this now, with my Spotify Peaceful Piano Playlist gently playing soothing background music, I can still hear a high-pitched hissing noise in both of my ears. It's there all of the time; never goes away. Usually, it's a single, constant whirring noise. At other times it changes pitch or other sounds pop in and fade out again. And while the ringing in my ears often varies, currently my ability to cope with tinnitus largely remains unchanged. But it wasn't always like this. Rewind one year ago and things were very different. I'd had temporary bursts over tinnitus over the past decade: I'd suddenly hear high-pitched noises but they would then fade down to zero again within a few seconds. However, one day, that familiarly shrill noise came in but didn't stop: I was now living with chronic tinnitus and would (probably) have to learn how to cope with it for the rest of my life. I can clearly still recall the fresh hell of developing chronic tinnitus after a period of extended stress: the realization it will probably never go away; trying everything to drown out the sound; the sleepless nights, trying (yet failing) to focus on work. Unfortunately, in addition to developing tinnitus I also experienced hyperacusis, a condition in which your ears become super sensitive to sound. Listening to someone handle cutlery or plates was enough to send me over the edge. When tinnitus first becomes chronic, your brain immediately switches into alarm mode, imaging the internal noise as harmful or dangerous. Furthermore, focusing on anything else apart from the ringing seems like an impossible task. Like me, you may experience panic, anxiety, depression and anger as you try to cope with tinnitus symptoms. You may think to yourself: ’why me?’ And you will probably ask yourself many other questions about your tinnitus too: ‘Will it ever stop?’ ‘Will it get louder?’ ‘Am I going deaf?’ ‘Am I stuck with this for the rest of my life?’ Tinnitus: things will get better While it all feels pretty dark in the beginning, I'm here to tell you that there is hope on the horizon and that living with tinnitus is possible. Indeed, if you've recently been struck down with tinnitus and are struggling to cope, please be assured: you should see improvements with time and start to feel better mentally about it. However, if you're currently feeling like it’s an emergency or having dark/suicidal thoughts, please seek help ASAP from your healthcare provider. You can learn techniques to help you cope with tinnitus The hyper-alert state you experience with tinnitus can last many weeks or months. However, day by day your brain begins to get used to the strange new sounds you're hearing and will gradually begin to get used to them. This process is called 'habituation' and just knowing that it will happen naturally can help you to learn to deal with your tinnitus. Indeed, I – and millions others across the world – are proof of that. A year after being diagnosed with chronic tinnitus I am coping with it much better. Of course, like everyone else I have good and bad days (so-called tinnitus 'spikes' – increases or drastic changes in pitch/loudness – can be a challenge), but my condition currently doesn’t impact on my happiness to a great extent. Coping with tinnitus: 10 techniques It's important to point out that the internal sounds those of us living with tinnitus experience are all different. Although the level of my ringing is bothersome, it is not unbearable. This may change in the future. I've read stories of people that experience ringing at extremely high sound levels: that, of course, must make the condition more challenging and impact on a person's ability to cope with tinnitus. However, whatever type of tinnitus you are experiencing, there are many practical steps you can take to cope with tinnitus and make it less intrusive in your life. Here are 10 tips to get you started. 1. Accept it The first step in coping with tinnitus lies in acceptance of the condition. However, this is often easier said than done in the beginning. As much as you may want to fight against the ringing in your ears – especially during those first traumatic weeks or months – doing so will only lead to disappointment and frustration. While some people experience temporary tinnitus because of trauma to the head or an ear infection, those of us with chronic tinnitus are usually stuck with the noises for life (saying that, there have been cases where people's tinnitus appears to have vanished). Accepting your condition is essential for you to be able to deal with tinnitus. Essentially, you first need to know if your tinnitus is temporary or chronic and if you have any hearing damage. Visit a high street ophthalmologist or ask your GP to refer you to an ear, nose and throat (ENT) specialist. 2. Relaxation The anxiety you feel when first getting tinnitus is to be expected but it will only make you feel more stressed, and, in turn, exacerbate tinnitus. Indeed, it's believed that stress really impacts on tinnitus, so it’s important that you reduce any stressors in your life to keep tinnitus levels in check. In fact, many people living with tinnitus use their condition as a barometer of their stress levels – if their tinnitus appears to be worsening, it’s a signal something in their life is out of balance. “Many people coping with tinnitus use it as a barometer of stress – if their tinnitus appears to be worsening, it’s a signal something is out of balance.” Relaxation is obviously a key way to combat stress and therefore improve how you deal with tinnitus. Practising meditation and conscious breathing exercises are practical and simple tools you can use to immediately reduce anxiety and stress. Incorporate both into your daily routine to feel the benefits. Also, be sure to spend as much time in nature as possible. As well as the relaxation and proven mental health benefits of forest bathing, the sounds of nature help to soothe that pesky tinnitus ringing. The crashing of waves; the rustling of branches and leaves, bird song – the many noises of nature offer your ears and brain a calming distraction. Sea sounds help to mask tinnitus noise shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 3. Practising mindfulness Making mindfulness a part of your daily routine is one of the best things you can do when it comes to coping with tinnitus. Mindfulness won't make tinnitus go away, but it aims to make it less intrusive. Indeed, mindfulness teaches us how to live with difficulties such as tinnitus, without having to fight or change them. Practising mindfulness can help us help us to develop a better relationship with our tinnitus, aiding the habituation process. RELATED: Mindful behaviour – 13 practical mindfulness tools In 2017 the British Tinnitus Assoctiation published two research papers that showed that mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is an effective treatment for those people living with distressing tinnitus. The results showed that tinnitus patients undergoing MBCT were associated with significant, reliable and ongoing improvements in their tinnitus-related and emotional distress. Luckily, mindfulness is something we can all practise by ourselves and for free. It involves paying complete and mindful attention to whatever we're doing in the moment: breathing, eating, showering, walking or noticing the physical sensations in our body, for example. We have some great mindfulness tips you can incorporate into your daily routine to help you to become less focused on your tinnitus. 4. Finding your flow Personally, experiencing ‘flow’ is the most efficient way to cope with my own tinnitus. 'Flow' is that state in which you are so totally absorbed and engaged in an activity that you enjoy that time seems to stand still. For example, I find my flow when I'm making an artwork or editing an article. RELATED: Flow state and happiness Sometimes my attention is so focused in the state of flow that it can seem like my tinnitus has stopped (for a while at least!). Flow is really an act of mindfulness, and as outlined above, mindfulness is one of the scientifically-proven best ways to deal with tinnitus. 5. Staying busy Finding your flow is one of the best ways to deal with your tinnitus as it helps to shift your awareness to something other than the internal noises you are dealing with. Similarly, I find that staying busy – in a non-stressful way of course – keeps my focus off of my tinnitus so it’s easier to cope with. Sitting around in silence is when tinnitus may start to bother you the most, so staying active and on-the-go helps to keep it stop dominating your mind. 6. Exercising with yoga OK, we all know the drill about exercise: it boosts your physical and mental health, helping to lift depression and anxiety (which you could be more vulnerable to if you are living with tinnitus). Exercise also combats against stress which, as explained above, is a major influencing factor when it comes to tinnitus levels. Yoga, in particular, is an exercise that has been found to help people cope better with tinnitus. A small 2018 study from Mersin University in Turkey indicated that practising yoga may reduce life stress and symptoms of tinnitus. Researchers followed 12 participants who practised guided yoga over three months involving poses, breathing exercises and meditations. The researchers hypothesized that because tinnitus symptoms are often linked to stress, and because yoga is stress-relieving, yoga may help decrease symptoms for patients living with chronic tinnitus. “Good sleep is essential when it comes to coping with tinnitus. Our bodies need sleep to heal and recover. When I have a bad night’s rest my tinnitus always seems louder the following day.” Elsewhere, Polish researchers conducted a similar study in 2019. It followed 25 patients with chronic tinnitus through 12 weeks of yoga training. The researchers identified that participants benefitted most from improved sense of control over tinnitus, lessened intrusiveness, improved quality of life and better sleep. The last point of improved sleep is important (as we shall see next). Importantly, whatever exercise you choose to do, working out will help to tire your body and lead to an increased chance of falling asleep quickly. Yoga is a perfect way to shift awareness shutterstock/Ulza 7. Prioritising good sleep Good sleep is essential when it comes to coping with tinnitus. Our bodies need sleep to heal and recover. When I have a bad night’s rest, my tinnitus always seems louder the following day. However – as you will no doubt know – sometimes falling asleep can be difficult for those of us with chronic tinnitus. That’s because tinnitus appears to sound worse at night – there are fewer external noises to mask the internal sounds, so we may have 'external' silence but have to put up with our 'internal' noises. RELATED: 14 sleep hacks to get a good night's rest One thing I love to do to help shift awareness from my tinnitus when going to bed is follow a body scan meditation script. Gradually tensing and releasing different body parts and feeling the sensations it brings directs your thoughts away from your tinnitus and to those other places in your body. You can also find ways to externally ‘mask’ your tinnitus sounds at night to help you drift off more easily. In my first few months of living with chronic tinnitus, I used mobile apps such as the excellent T-Minus to play 'white noise' such as rain sound, which works wonders balancing out my high-pitched tinnitus. There are also plenty of great YouTube videos of rain sounds that you can play in the background while you're in bed. 8. Exploring masking Sound-masking devices such as the apps mentioned above provide an external noise that partially drowns out the internal ringing of tinnitus. As well as using apps you can also try: having calming piano music on in the background leaving a fan or the TV on opening a window to let in some external noise Practise sound bathing Furthermore, if you have hearing loss in addition to tinnitus, there are now hearing aids with inbuilt white noise generators which help many with the condition cope with tinnitus symptoms. Whatever masking method you choose, always set the volume of the device a notch lower than the perceived sound of your tinnitus – you don’t want to drown out the sound completely or you may find it harder to habituate. 9. Talking to someone It’s important to remember that you don’t have to cope with tinnitus alone. As the number of people who live with persistent tinnitus is thought to be around 13 per cent, there’s a chance someone in your close circle is going through the same thing. Open up to family members and friends, or put your thoughts out on social media if you feel comfortable sharing your tinnitus story – you may be surprised by the responses. However, friends and family may not be able to support you unless they have experienced tinnitus themselves, so they may not realise how distressing tinnitus can be (or even know what it is). If this is the case, do connect with someone who has dealt with tinnitus themselves in order to get the help you need. In the UK there are tinnitus support groups up and down the country where you can meet in person to discuss living well with tinnitus. “Tinnitus can dramatically impact on your quality of life and can be hard to adapt to. However, as with everything in life, we can choose how we react to it.” The internet is also full of tinnitus support groups and forums such as the excellent TinnitusTalk forum which is full of useful and insightful threads. However, do so with caution! Be careful when browsing for tinnitus help online as you will come across many dubious ads for methods or items claiming to stop or cure tinnitus. Unfortunately there is no cure for tinnitus, so please don't waste your money. Finally, if you prefer a friendly voice in real time, the British Tinnitus Association offers a confidential tinnitus helpline. You can call its team for support. 10. Exploring your tinnitus This final suggestion may seem like the last thing you want to do, but it actually brings us right back to the first tinnitus coping tip of 'acceptance'. Depending on your personal tinnitus noise level, you may find it beneficial to employ some mindfulness techniques and simply sit with your tinnitus for a while. Try to listen to it with curiosity and without judgement. Take some time to observe your tinnitus and ask yourself some questions about it. Does your tinnitus noise level stay the same or does it get louder or quieter? Does it stay at the same pitch or do you hear new sounds come in and out? Does it sound the same in your left and right side? If you feel comfortable and ready for this type of exercise, you can even sit and meditate on your tinnitus, bringing all your attention to the sounds and your breathing. Exploring your tinnitus in this way may seem difficult if you've bee recently diagnosed with the condition, but realizing that tinnitus is just 'there' and cannot harm you can help you to cope with its day-to-day symptoms. The takeaway: dealing with tinnitus Tinnitus can dramatically impact on your quality of life and can be hard to adapt to. However, as with everything in life, we can choose how we react to it. If we fight against our tinnitus, we are more likely to struggle. But, if we learn to accept it and live with it, habituation to tinnitus can become easier. Whatever type of sounds you experience – hissing, whistling, humming or buzzing – by following the ten tips above, coping with tinnitus should become easier. Hopefully, as is the case with myself, tinnitus will just become another part of your life, and not a dominating factor. • Main image: shutterstock/aleks333 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our Academy Resilience | Gratitude | Self-care Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes gay artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more. -
Can being curious potentially make us smarter, more innovative and happier? Sonia Vadlamani throws light on the rewards of being inquisitive and discusses ideas for staying curious throughout our lives. We are all born curious, but oddly the ‘episodes of curiosity’ common in kids pertaining to asking questions and observing objects intently dwindles as we age. As a matter of fact, children are known to be incredibly inquisitive and are often seen exploring new things around them, for no other reason than to know or understand more. However, as we grow older, we tend to gradually lose this appetite for curious pursuits. William James, a renowned philosopher and psychologist, defined curiosity as “the impulse towards better cognition”. Interestingly Ian Leslie, author of the acclaimed bestseller Curious, describes curiosity as the unique amalgamation of “intelligence, determination and a hunger for novelty,” in the sense that it drives us towards discovering what we do not already know. Curiosity constitutes a fundamental element of our cognition, and thus is essential for our learning motivation, decision-making as well as healthy development. Indeed, a part of our fading curiosity as we age can be ascribed to a phenomenon known as ‘brain economy’. As we continue to learn, the brain works on building and reinforcing neural pathways and energy-saving shortcuts so that we don’t have to expend mental energy for repetitive tasks. However, researchers agree that it is important to stay curious as we grow older, despite increasing demands being put on our time. Why does staying curious matter? Research suggests that staying curious can improve our learning mechanisms and enhance brain plasticity, as the more curious we are about a topic, the likelier we are to remember it well. For instance, while chemistry seemed like a daunting subject to several of my classmates, I remember being fascinated by it. For example, how can potassium be called a metal yet be soft enough to cut with a knife? It was intriguing and fun to draw out answers and understand ions, bonds and chemical reactions. Indeed, I reckon it was my curiosity that made me receptive to grasping my chemistry lessons with ease and remembering the details without much effort. Stay curious through lifelong learning Being passionately curious allows us to develop an abundance mindset, as it propels us towards learning and applying these new learnings in daily life, sparking growth and innovation. Staying curious can also help us shun our prejudices and bridge our differences, thus lowering anxiety and strengthening our social connections. A 2014 study by Vincent D Costa et al also pointed out that our brains trigger higher dopamine levels when we are not familiar with the stimulus and the reward is unknown to us (rather than when we are aware of the stimulus and the rewards). So, acquiring new information or performing newer tasks that answer our curiosity can improve dopamine release, which, in turn, can offer a quick mood boost, improve our decision-making abilities and even prevent health conditions like Parkinson’s disease and depression. 8 ways to stay curious Curiosity is akin to a mental muscle that can weaken if we don’t exercise it often. That’s why we need to make it a habit to flex it and stay curious on a consistent basis. Read on to discover eight ways to reignite your inner inquisitive spark. 1. Ask questions relentlessly Carl Jung, eminent psychiatrist and the founder of analytic psychology, described the ability to ask questions as “the greatest resource in learning the truth”. Indeed, there are no dumb, silly, small or big questions, as each question can unlock a conversation and every answer can present a fresh insight for you or others. Always carrying a notebook makes it easier for you to quickly jot down topics which spur your interest and questions you’d like to pursue next. 2. Step out of your comfort zone Staying in our comfort zone is undoubtedly convenient, especially since we humans are hardwired to choose familiarity over uncertainty. However, staying within our safety bubble stifles creativity and often harbors discontentment, leaving us feeling bored in life. RELATED: Why we should all start embracing the unknown In fact, living more adventurually and replacing fear of the unfamiliar with a healthy curiosity is what some great artists do differently. Indeed, staying curious and open to new experiences can help us welcome newer perspectives, let go of the past and rediscover our purpose in life. 3. Nurture a wide range of interests “Creativity doesn’t happen in a void,” observed Ian Leslie. It has been reported that successful artists and philosophers like Leonardo da Vinci and Aristotle were curious to the extent of accumulating vast amounts of knowledge which they could recall readily when needed. Leslie further points out that this reservoir of learnings allowed them to “mix and remix ideas and themes, making new analogies and spot unusual patterns” that ultimately steered them towards creative breakthroughs. “Curiosity is akin to a mental muscle that can weaken if we don’t exercise it often. That’s why we need to make it a habit to flex it and stay curious on a consistent basis.” However, it is also important to train yourself to be the expert in a niche of your interest. Developing an informed perspective on a wide variety of subjects would allow you to possess a valuable expanse of knowledge. Furthermore, diversifying your interests will enable you to tap into your intuition with greater ease and thus make better decisions. This will also put you in a better position to specialize in areas which align with your goals and purpose. 4. Gain new perspectives While it can’t be denied that we tend to get more comfortable with our own perspectives and viewpoints over time, it can be immensely rewarding to learn to change perspective and examine events and actions from the viewpoint of others. RELATED: Changing perspective and gaining happiness Leslie defines this as ‘empathic curiosity’, wherein he encourages us to put ourselves in other people’s shoes and analyze why they react in a certain manner and make certain choices. Gaining a different perspective in this way can help us stay curious, as well as improve our happiness levels. 5. Cultivate awe every day There are several reasons why awe makes your life better, the ability to stay curious being one of the benefits. A study by Craig L Anderson et al revealed a positive relationship between dispositional awe in people and their curiosity levels. The findings concurred that those who experience awe more often are more likely to stay curious and learn at a faster pace. It is possible to incorporate awe into our daily life, and not just feel it when we listen to a beautifully composed piece of music or making a trip that was always on the bucket list. Slowing down and lingering, being mindful, reconnecting with nature and questioning the things we always overlooked are some of the ways to look for daily experiences of awe, and gradually re-instill curiosity. Travel keeps you curious and is awe-inspiring shutterstock/GaudiLab 6. Look at learning as a privilege and fun “It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education,” Albert Einstein famously stated. Learning is often seen as a cumbersome task or something that we need to participate in for better grades or a promotion. However, studies show that staying curious makes learning effective and more enjoyable, enabling us to be motivated to achieve new milestones. Additionally, redefining learning as a stress-free and pleasurable activity leads to enhanced activity in the amygdala region of the brain and increased release of dopamine, resulting in greater retention. 7. Meet other curious people often Brian Grazer, the prominent TV producer, recommends meeting other interesting people and having what he calls “curiosity conversations”. Remember that positive communication is the key to holding meaningful, intriguing interactions, and building lasting friendships. Consulting different people about their interests and opinions can introduce us to new learnings and fresh interests, thus rekindling curiosity within us. 8. Look inward Turning your curiosity inwards can help you understand yourself better and thus set more realistic goals for yourself. Spare 5-10 minutes each day to practise attentive self-reflection while you withhold your emotions, and observe and understand your reaction to various stimuli, fears, thoughts, attachment styles, moods, etc. “Turning curiosity inwards can help you understand yourself better and thus set more realistic goals for yourself.” Staying curious towards yourself can help you find self-validation, and observe kindness and empathy towards yourself, just like you’d do for a friend. Looking inward can also enable you to resolve a troublesome pattern that may be preventing you from living your best possible life, like bottled up resentment that you need to let go of, or a habit of indecisiveness that you need to change. Takeaway: staying curious Curiosity is listed as an essential cognitive need in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, which underlines its importance in the way we define our purpose, make our choices and pursue goals. Rekindling the desire to know and cultivating the practice of staying curious can help us lead a life with meaning, adventure and happiness. • Main image: shutterstock/Dragon Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Learning | Altruism | Compassion | Motivation Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.
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What is a vulnerability hangover and how do you deal with them?
Guest commented on Calvin77 's article in PERSONAL GROWTH
I don't understand how this is going to help me? I suppose the act of being vulnerable is a strength and can make you more at ease when meeting people. If you can be vulnerable you show strength, and show people that you are not afraid to be yourself. For example: Reduce your social anxiety and make you more confident. Instead of escaping from the present moment, you stay there with all the uncomfortable feelings, and what if thoughts in your mind. For example: If you want to approach someone you do that and be vulnerable in it. Instead of blocking it in your mind, and regret it afterwards You don't put up your invisible wall of mental protection, in order to protect yourself from others constructed opinions regarding you. Btw: You think people are judging you, you have constructed these things in your mind. You don't know what people are thinking about you. Just let go of this mental protection. Maybe this is the way to go? -
Purpose, motivation, meaning and creativity are key elements of generativity: the desire to make your mark on the world by passing your knowledge and skills to future generations. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explores why generativity matters and the surprising health benefits it can offer. What will your legacy be? To be entirely honest, if you asked me whether I was concerned with generativity before I started writing this article, I would probably respond negatively. Although I am familiar with the concept, it had simply slipped my mind. However, it did its workings in the background. When I examine the thoughts and needs dwelling in my head, I realise — that’s it! I am approaching middle adulthood (turning 36 in a few weeks). Just as Erik Erikson theorised, the need to create something that will outlast me is starting to become more prominent on my list of priorities. As I am working through resolving some lifelong internal conflicts and their consequences, the focus of my motivation changes. I am starting to see the yearning to make a difference in someone else’s life — and I know that now I am truly capable of it. Although you may not be directly aware of it, generativity might have been a burning issue for you. Do you feel the impulse to create, make your mark on the world, and ensure your life matters? If so, chances are, you are in the phase of life Erikson described as generativity vs stagnation. I'll explain what generativity is and how to go through this stage of life with success. What exactly is generativity? Erik Erikson was a highly influential psychoanalyst. His theory about stages of psychological development was introduced in the 1950s. Unlike Freud, Erikson believed that we develop psychologically throughout life, not only during childhood. Erikson also took into account not only our parents’ impact but the effects of society as a whole. The theory consists of eight developmental stages. Each is defined by two opposing psychological tendencies. In other words, there is a conflict, a crisis. When we successfully resolve it, we come out of that stage with a specific virtue. When we fail to complete it successfully, our ability to go through later stages is somewhat reduced. Considering generativity: what skills can you pass on? shutterstock/Halfpoint Generativity vs stagnation is the developmental phase of middle adulthood. Erikson did not assign ages to his stages, but later researchers tried to do so. Therefore, generativity becomes the focal matter roughly when you are in your late-30s or entering your 40s, up until the mid-60s. Generativity happens in mid-life because usually by then we have worked out our identities in the previous life stages. Once we realise and come to terms with who we are, we start to look at the bigger picture. We abandon the egocentric focus of childhood and youth and fully grasp our impermanence. So, we want to ensure our legacy lives after us. What does this stage entail, exactly? Generativity vs stagnation When you hit the generativity period of your life, you are concerned with productivity and creativity. You want to create new ideas, new products, significant changes in the world. You wish to engage with the next generation, and you do it through parenting, coaching, mentoring. Community involvement may become crucial at this point. All in all, the generativity phase is about creating a legacy. I said earlier that each stage in Erikson’s theory revolves around resolving a conflict. At this point, it is a matter of generativity vs stagnation. When you are successful at resolving it, you will develop a virtue of care. “Do you feel the impulse to create, make your mark on the world, and ensure your life matters? If so, chances are, you are in the generativity vs stagnation phase of life.” However, if you do not embrace your need to create, you might find yourself inert and dissociated from the world, meaning and community. Erikson named the outcome of a failure at this stage as rejectivity. You might feel disconnected and uninvolved. As a result, a stagnant person will be self-centred, disengaged and void of purpose. Research supported Erikson’s observations and revealed that a lack of generativity might be associated with: Poorer health outcomes in late adulthood Lower satisfaction with life and subjective well-being Lower levels of social support in the older age, which, in itself, is a risk factor for numerous mental and physical health disorders. The benefits of generativity Developing generativity in middle adulthood can have positive outcomes at this or the next stages of your life. You are not only contributing to the world — you are also setting the stage for healthy and satisfying ageing. Empirical findings showed that generativity might result in: Better adaptation to the world and life. According to a study of over 80 well-educated women, those who scored high on generativity at 52 had more positive personality characteristics, higher satisfaction with marriage and motherhood, and more successful ageing at the age of 62. Better cognitive and emotional health. A longitudinal study lasting 75 years confirmed that men who were high in generativity during middle adulthood had significantly better performance on cognitive and executive functioning. Moreover, they had lower levels of depression. Lower levels of inflammation. Interestingly, the research found that an intervention designed to increase generativity – in which women were writing letters and speaking about their life experiences and advice – resulted in decreases in pro-inflammatory gene expression. The participants also had more positive expectations regarding ageing in the physical health domain. Better psychological and social adaptation. The same study also found that increased generativity resulted in greater participation in social activities and decreases in psychological distress. Higher life satisfaction and subjective well-being. Research consistently confirms that generativity results in a greater sense of well-being and satisfaction with life. Healthier coping with chronic stress. A study that looked into parents who have a child with a developmental problem or mental disorder revealed that generativity helped buffer the toll such a challenging situation may take on a person. How to increase your sense of generativity According to a recent study, some individuals are more predisposed to generativity because of their personality traits. Such people are those who are organised, persistent, motivated and with interest and agreeableness toward others. However, generativity vs stagnation is a phase everyone can find themselves at some point in their lives — and everyone can resolve successfully. Here are some practical ideas on ways to boost generativity and avoid stagnation. 1. Find your path to mentoring Although parenting is the most common path to generativity, it is not the only one. Whether you are a parent or not, you can always mentor the next generation. Think of your unique way to transfer your knowledge and experiences. You could teach, coach, write, or simply be the confidant for the children and youth in your neighbourhood. There are many health benefits to generativity shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 2. Volunteer Volunteering will help you make a difference in someone’s life, your local community, or even the world (why not?). As I can testify, being a volunteer is a sure way to be productive, grateful, humble, and gain perspective and a sense of purpose. There are myriad ways to contribute. Choose a cause — environment, equity, well-being, health, education — and explore the organisations that could help you start making a change. RELATED: Why is volunteering important? 3. Participate in your community Generativity is about abandoning yourself as the centre of your efforts. Seek ways to be a productive member of your community by finding ways to resolve an issue, connecting to and listening to others, or finding a group you can support online. For example, are there enough playgrounds in your neighbourhood? Is there vandalism or littering? Or, did you go through some harrowing experience, and you could help others overcome it with your advice? 4. Learn and share Learning new skills can give you the extra push you need when you are trying to tackle generativity vs stagnation. By gaining new knowledge, you broaden your impact. I, for example, have been sharing my knowledge as a psychologist for many years now. However, I have not felt ready to become a psychotherapist until recently. I consider it an ultimately responsible role only someone with extensive experience and internal coherence can assume. However, having resolved the previous developmental stages now, I believe it is time to start psychotherapy training. “Developing generativity in middle adulthood can have positive outcomes at this or the next stages of your life. You are not only contributing to the world — you are also setting the stage for healthy and satisfying ageing.” Once you decide what new skill you will embark on gaining, there is one more essential step. Make sure you share those skills and your new capabilities with others to resolve the generativity stage with great success. Remember, it is about giving back. 5. Dedicate your energy to your passions A truly fulfilling way to reach generativity is to start a passion project. When you are passionate about what you do, be it a side-business, art, or a cause, you radiate purpose. This is a contribution that, shared with others, truly makes an impact on the world. So, think of the activities that put you in a state of flow. Could you start writing and share your insights with others? Maybe you are interested in yoga and meditation, so you could become an instructor? Were you always passionate about touching others with art? Takeaway: ride the wave The generativity vs stagnation phase may be the most productive one of your life. It's at this point that you start to create your legacy. The conflicts and turmoil of the previous stages of your development subsided. Now, in a way, you employ everything you have gained in terms of your psychological toolbox. Your skills, experiences, knowledge, strength, how you overcome hurt, the identity you worked so hard to establish — all this gets put to use. So, ride the wave. Do not stagnate. Create. Generate. Nurture. Care. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum ■ developing with free online classes in our Academy Resilience | Authenticity | Courage Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.
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Stuck in the happiness trap? Discover 5 ways to escape it
Tine posted an article in INSPIRATION & SPIRITUALITY
Could you be stuck in the happiness trap? Trying to pursue joy at all times? If so, it's time to stop. From practising gratitude to reaffirming your values, these five science-backed tips from Ed Gould will help you to become satisfied with how your life already is. Accepting that you feel happy enough, as opposed to constantly pursuing an idea of what happiness might be, is the route many now choose to discover greater well-being. Indeed, this is the key idea behind escaping the so-called 'happiness trap'. Remember that old REM hit, Shiny Happy People? In it, the lyrics encouraged you to put “it in your heart” where “tomorrow” and “gold and silver shine”. OK, let's not set too much store by a pop song, but it illustrates something important about modern culture: happiness seems to be shiny, attractive and – like gold and silver – material. Now, a jangly pop anthem may not be the best route to understanding what happiness is, but it does suggest the way many people still think about it. However, the pursuit of happiness can often lead us in the wrong direction. This is what today's psychologists refer to as the happiness trap. Let's have a look at what it is exactly, how you can identify the extent to which you might have fallen into it and – perhaps most importantly of all – the five main ways you can escape the happiness trap. The misguided pursuit of happiness According to Greek philosopher Aristotle, happiness involves activity and exhibiting virtue, but the word he chose to describe it was 'eudaimonia'. Often translated as 'happiness', this term is probably better described as 'human flourishing'. We seem quite removed from that sentiment when you consider how contemporary mass culture depicts happiness. Think of all the happy messages the mainstream media bombards us with to begin with. Indeed, ask yourself how many times a day that you might hear that you can be happy – will be happy, even – if only you choose these clothes, that form of transportation or those beauty products. Don't shop 'til your drop: escape the consumerism happiness trap There again, the pursuit of happiness might be marketed as being concurrent with the pursuit of other goals. For example, you may have heard you'll be happy if you pursue your youth – with an anti-wrinkle cream, of course. Or that you'll be happy if you pursue greater wealth by choosing one investment product over another. However, eudaimonia has little to do with any of that. Over the ages, spiritual leaders such as the Dalai Lama have taught us to abandon the relationship between happiness and material wealth. Bear in mind that it's not so much that increased material wealth won't bring you some sort of happiness or temporary life improvement, rather than the detriment it can cause to your perception of happiness. “Escape the happiness trap by setting aside time to recall moments of gratitude. Keep an eye on what really contributes to your happiness.” And although the current generation of Westerners are, by and large, richer than ever before, the variation of how people perceive their level of happiness is still high, to say the least. The happiness trap: what is it exactly? Feeling unhappy with life is perfectly natural and we all go through ups and downs with our mental health from time to time. However, a general malaise in your sense of happiness may reveal that you are, indeed, stuck in the happiness trap. Furthermore, if you think your personal happiness ties in with the images you might see on TV or in lifestyle magazines, then that's another sure sign. Equally, if you're constantly comparing the level of happiness you feel with that which you perceive in your friends, family, neighbours and colleagues – known as 'keeping up with the Joneses' – then this may also indicate your entrapment of a false perception of happiness. Escaping the happiness trap: 5 strategies Identifying and accepting the state of being happy enough is the key to escaping the happiness trap. If you feel happy enough, then you won't feel the need to carry on pursuing the false idols of materialism. However, deciding to feel happy enough may be easier said than done given our materialistic culture. Indeed, a 2003 psychological study by Schooler, Airey and Loewenstein suggested that pursuing happiness as a goal was doomed to failure anyway. RELATED: Money can't buy happiness (except when you spend it like this) Thankfully, Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky and others offer some useful cognitive and behavioural tips that offer you the best chance of avoiding that empty sensation of not feeling happy enough. So, here are five key techniques you can employ to help you escape the happiness trap. 1. Positive mentality strategies Writing can have a beneficial effect on the way we think about a range of circumstances, including the way we feel about happiness. However, it's not the only positive mental strategy that you can use in a self-regulatory manner. Positive thinking about oneself can come in other reflective forms. Take a look back through old photos of heart-warming and cheerful life events. Or you might prefer to talk about your happiest and unhappiest moments in life with a loved one. RELATED: Future self journaling Another possibility is to have a discussion about your life goals for the future with your partner or a trusted friend. By focusing positivity in this way, you naturally engage less with shorter term aspirations and material objectives. Escape the happiness trap with family time shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 2. Set aside time for gratitude With so much that contributes to modern life pointing you towards the happiness trap, it's a good (and simple) idea to set aside time to recall moments of gratitude. By doing this regularly, you're much better positioned to see past the short-term nature of such messages and to keep an eye on what really contributes to your happiness. For instance, keep a gratitude journal where you count your blessings, such as the love of people close to you or your general health. In addition, writing letters of gratitude can help to reorientate your perspective on what really counts. There's something about the mental activity that goes on during the act of writing that helps to rebalance our cognitive processes and application of this can shape your feelings surrounding happiness. RELATED: The attitude of gratitude – 6 reasons how it will change your life 3. Be altruistic Studies have shown that practising altruism can help you to feel more satisfied and enable you to find happiness. Helping you to understand what is good about your life, altruistic acts are also of benefit to their recipient. Simply making the decision to be kinder and more understanding in your everyday interactions is a good first step. Once you start practising altruism regularly, you'll soon start feeling the power of kindness. “The pursuit of happiness can lead us in the wrong direction. This is what today's psychologists refer to as the happiness trap.” You might consider doing something practical, too, such as donating your blood. Or, by routinely committing to random acts of kindness or trying to make a loved one happy, you'll end up feeling more empowered about how happy you feel and less reliant on what other people think about you. The happiness trap: evolution of the human mind © YouTube/Dr. Russ Harris 4. Reaffirmation of your values Refocussing on your most important values is another key step in accepting the level of happiness you feel. Think of it like restating your marriage vows – if you ever made them, that is – as a means of getting back to basics. By reaffirming the true person that you are, it becomes possible to shake off sometimes years of misguided happiness that has become more and more reliant on a false idea of perfection: one that's modelled on an 'ideal' life as depicted in modern culture so much. Take a step back to focus on what makes you tick and reaffirm your commitment to it. 5. Savour every moment of life By taking the time to savour positive experiences in life, rather than rushing on hedonistically to the next chance of happiness, you're more likely to enjoy the moment. Think of a greedy diner who, enjoying their food, gulps it all down rapidly only to feel disappointed quickly afterwards, compared with someone who savours every mouthful. Both will consume the same amount of food but gain very different experiences from their meal. So, take your time and slow down. See the whole picture. Be mindful about everything. Focus on the positivity of any given situation in order to feel happier in yourself. The happiness trap: conclusions Modern life and the pursuit of joy makes it easy for humans to get stuck in the happiness trap. And, in this era of social media, it's harder to escape comparing your life, experiences and possessions with that of your friends or complete strangers. But, by following our tips based around CBT, you can start to reframe your thoughts and activities to become more satisfied with what you have in life, and – more importantly – who you are. ● Main image: shutterstock/Rawpixel.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Coaching | Acceptance | Learning | Self-care Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's also a practitioner of Reiki. -
7 ways to beat your 'I don't want to do anything' mood
Calvin77 posted an article in SCIENCE & PSYCHOLOGY
If you constantly feel like you don't want to do anything, you could simply be demotivated. However, you could also (unknowingly) be in a deep depression. Dee Marques explains how you can distinguish between the two and offers seven ways to remotivate yourself. You may (or may not) know the feeling. Those days when you wake up and struggle to get out of bed. It’s not that you don’t have anything to do – in fact, the chores may be piling up. But all you can seem to think is: “I don't want to do anything”. Along with the lack of motivation, you feel more irritable and fatigued than usual, and you may even beat yourself up for feeling like this. I’ve been there. I know that the struggle with motivation is real and uphill. And I know that it can affect everyone; even those of us who are usually active. So, what can be done about it? Demotivation or depression? Low motivation and lack of energy can be caused by different things. Knowing the source of your lethargy is important, especially since certain forms of demotivation are linked to depression. One of the distinctive symptoms of depression is something called anhedonia. This is the inability to find pleasure or enjoyment, even in activities that we would normally love. Anhedonia can interfere with self-care and leave you feeling empty and demotivated. Learn how to tackle lethargic feelings However, not all demotivation is a symptom of depression. So, how can you tell apathy from something more serious, like anhedonia? Generally speaking, if the mood lasts more than two weeks and you see no improvement, it might be a sign of a mental health issue like depression. Since anhedonia may have a neurobiological basis, it’s best to get a professional diagnosis so you can be referred to a specialist. Is it burnout? After being exposed to stress for a long time, both mind and body can shut down, leading to what’s known as burnout. And, during burnout, feeling like you don't want to do anything can be a regular occurrence. A common misunderstanding is that burnout is only work-related, but that’s not true. The stress of the pandemic has taken its psychological toll of many, and has even led to a new expression being coined: Covid burnout. This is characterized by a sense of feeling overwhelmed, low-level anxiety and a lack of motivation. Burnout is often a sign that some important needs are not being met. If you’re going through this, you need time to recover, honour your needs, and make changes to your daily routine until you get your usual energy levels back. Whether the low mood is the result of burnout or something else, there are other useful steps you can take to cope better with the 'I don't want to do anything' feeling. 7 steps to getting re-motivated 1. Accept how you feel Have you noticed how sometimes, the more you try to ignore an emotion, the stronger it becomes? This is because emotions are more than just feelings: they carry a message that wants to be heard. The same can happen if you try to fight your 'I don't want to do anything' mood. Low energy and low motivation are important messages you need to pay attention to. If you ignore them, or push yourself to stay busy, the messages may become louder and stay with you for longer. “Use your 'I don't want to do anything' mood as an opportunity to take a break, and don’t feel guilty about it, because obviously you need it in order to get back to your usual self.” So, if you don’t feel like doing anything, accept that this is your reality – today. But notice that I wrote 'today'. Because here’s the caveat: acceptance is a good strategy if you see your demotivation as a temporary setback, but it’s not a wild card to complacency. In other words, don’t use acceptance as an excuse for long-term self-pity or self-sabotage. 2. Practise self-compassion If a dear friend told you they didn’t feel like doing anything, what would you say to them? Chances are you would be kind, understanding and compassionate. Is that how you’re treating yourself, or are you doing the opposite? We often treat ourselves worse than we treat our loved ones, but this double standard can be damaging to our mental and emotional health. So, why not extend your ability to feel compassion to yourself? Related: How to be your own best friend Maybe you’ve gone through a lot in the past few months. Maybe you’ve had to adapt to a new job, lost a job, or had to move homes. It’s normal to feel unsettled or mentally exhausted. Acknowledge what you’ve achieved so far, acknowledge your struggles, and the fact that ups and downs are a part of life. 3. Take some 'me time' Use your 'I don't want to do anything' mood as an opportunity to take a break – and don’t feel guilty about it, because obviously you need it in order to get back to your usual self. There’s no recipe as to what 'me time' should include; what matters is that it works for you. It could be anything from taking a whole day off to simply rest and relax, or having a nice bath and curling up in bed with a book or a movie. 'Take a break' may be the message that this mood carries, or it may be the first step towards figuring out what the message is. Either way, 'me time' will take some pressure off so you can see things from a more balanced perspective. Soak up some 'me time' shutterstock/Breslavtsec Oleg 4. Keep track of how you feel It’s easy to fall into a rut of feeling “meh” and letting days merge into one. To avoid that, it could be helpful to keep track of how your moods, ideally in writing. You can start by describing your feelings more specifically. You may feel like doing nothing, but what emotions are attached to this? Is it anger, frustration, sadness or something else? Defining our feelings is the first step in learning how to manage them. “It’s easy to fall into a rut of feeling 'meh' and letting days merge into one. To avoid that, it could be helpful to keep track of how your moods, ideally in writing.” You should also try journaling. Keeping a written account of your feelings can help you detect patterns or spot the things that could be making you feel worse. This is all important to help you stay away from what’s not helping and move towards motivating or inspiring activities and routines. Here are six different journaling techniques that you can try. 5. Make (small) plans When you don't want to do anything, planning for the future can be overwhelming. But staying stuck in the present will do little to improve your mood and energy levels. Ideally, you want to keep an eye on the future in a way that feels manageable. This is important, because having a vision for the future is essential to motivation: as humans, we’re created to make plans and be involved in projects. You can try to choose a few actions that require planning, like going for a hike or an overnight camping trip, redecorating a room in your house, or preparing your favourite meal. When you’re demotivated, doing any of these things may feel like too much, but the key is choosing something you’d normally enjoy – or have always wanted to do – and visualizing the entire experience. Picture each step, how it will make you feel, create momentum through visualization, and then make the plans needed to make it happen. 6. Make a list of positives This is something I do when I feel like I don't want to do anything. I find a comfy spot, put a few drops of my favourite essential oil in a burner, and I make a list of 50 things that make me feel good. If you’re thinking that coming up with 50 things is a stretch … you’re right! But that’s part of the exercise, because that will keep your brain focused on positive topics for quite a while. I like this exercise for two reasons: It takes almost no physical energy, but you’re still doing something. Creating the list can generate positive emotions, like gratitude, joy and contentment. Positive emotions underpin psychological well-being, and can also prepare you to cope better with adverse life events. 7. Share what you feel When you feel down, thinking that nobody is there for you or that no one understands you can make things worse. You may not want to 'bother' friends or family, or you may think that they won’t have a solution to your problems, so what’s the point, anyway? But again, this is a matter of treating yourself like you’d treat your loved ones, so seek the comfort you need. This is valuable, even if you don’t get a magical solution that makes everything right. Studies have shown that sharing our concerns can help reduce emotional pain and become less reactive to negative events. The takeaway If you’re stuck in 'I don't want to do anything' mood, remember that this too shall pass. Take this as an opportunity to rest and practise self-compassion, trying some of the suggestions listed in this article. With a bit of patience, you’ll hopefully overcome this and be back to your usual self. However, if you don't seen improvements in your apathy and lethargy, do seek help from a medical professional (advice below). • Main image: shutterstock/amenic181 If you're experiencing any of the signs of depression make sure to reach out to your local mental health services. In the US, you can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for free and confidential support. Use Lifeline Chat or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). In the UK, call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected] for a reply within 24 hours. You can also text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text “YM” if you are under 19. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Letting go | Courage | Learning | Self-care Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.