Accepting Imperfections: 6 Ways to Embrace Your Flaws

Being a perfectionist may make you ambitious, but constantly striving for excellence can lead to anxiety and burnout. Sonia Vadlamani explains why embracing your flaws and accepting imperfections actually allows us to lead happier and more authentic lives.

 

Each one of us has a personality trait or a physical feature that doesn't sit well with us. You may always find yourself inadequately prepared for the big interview, you may feel you’re too curvy to carry off that ‘Gram-worthy outfit, or you may feel your shyness stops you striking up interesting conversations. Seem relatable? Social media spouts perfectionism as an ideal state and our rising social presence may make us believe that we need to be always at our best.

 

By definition, perfectionism is a personality feature that requires one to be or appear perfect, for their own selves or to be perceived by others. It can be identified by the need to set unrealistic expectations, strict self-evaluation, denial regarding one’s flaws in personality or appearance, and an overpowering desire to leave no scope for errors or failure. The idea of embracing your flaws and accept imperfections is seen as an alien concept for perfectionists. 

Indeed, researcher Karen Horney described perfectionism more simplistically as ‘the tyranny of the should’s’, referring to how it tends to make one extremely critical of their own performance or abilities.

 

The Perilous Side of Perfectionism 

Perfectionism is often seen as a positive – even desirable – trait, that can lead to growth and success in personal and professional areas. However, in fact, science shows that perfectionism can give rise to stress, anxiety and depression. Furthermore, socially prescribed and self-oriented kinds of perfectionism can even result in self-harm. 
Learn to embrace your imperfections as part of your uniqueness

Being a writer, I understand the perils of constantly chasing perfection. I recognize the pattern now: I’d start by opening multiple tabs containing seemingly crucial bits of information and research, which I felt absolutely needed to be included in an article.

 

Then I’d proceed towards creating a comprehensive piece of writing, entirely ignoring the assigned word-limit and specific outline I needed to adhere to. Halfway through, I’d notice that the article just can’t be an all-encompassing guide, so I’d procrastinate and avoid writing altogether, ultimately feeling like an imposter. 
 

RELATED: Perfectionism and Anxiety: 7 Ways to Cope

It took utmost dedication on my part to draw awareness towards this problematic routine – until it became clear to me that I was stuck in a perfectionism trap. Over time I trained my subconscious mind to not procrastinate endlessly in the desire for a written piece that’s perfect to the tee. Instead, I eased my standards to fit the client’s requirements and feedback, rather than resorting to my preconceived ideas of perfection.

 

“The first step towards accepting imperfections is to be mindful and shift your perspective regarding how you perceive yourself.”

Perfectionism can have detrimental effects on developmental outcomes in individuals of all age groups, warns Katie Rasmussen, a child development and perfection researcher. “As many as two out of five kids and adolescents exhibit the traits of perfectionism”, she says, emphasizing how prevalent the phenomenon currently is in our society.

 

In fact, the idea that sublime excellence and perfection will lead us towards success and happiness might be ingrained into our minds from a young age, and hence letting go of this tendency requires determination and persistence.

 

6 Ways to Embrace Your Flaws

So, how can we how to accept imperfections and flaws? “Perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat pretending to be elegant when actually it's just terrified”, says Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the bestselling book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. Accepting our fears, flaws, and insecurities as we pursue our dreams can help us carve out an accomplished and meaningful life.

 

Here are six steps you can take towards embracing your imperfections – even celebrating them!

 

1. Find the positive side in your flaws

The first step towards accepting imperfections is to be mindful and shift your perspective regarding how you perceive yourself. Stop viewing yourself as insufficient or lacking in certain areas, and start seeing yourself as a whole being, albeit flawed. Moreover, upon reflection, you may find that your flaws or imperfections offer you a unique edge. 

 

MORE LIKE THIS:

• Positive Body Image: 8 Steps For Developing It
• Nudism: How it Can Boost Positive Body Image
• Be Good to Yourself: 8 Self-Love Techniques

 

For example, my obsession with writing a perfectly researched article made me aware of my tendency to procrastinate if I don’t find the final written piece to be up to my standards. Instead, now I try to focus on the task at hand by being mindful, while reaffirming to myself that I create good-quality work, otherwise I wouldn’t have had long-term clients. Learning to embrace your flaws and see them as strengths can be a gradual process, but you’ll be able to see yourself in a better perspective by developing self-validation.

David Richo, renowned psychotherapist, and author of Wholeness & Holiness recommends including affirmations in one’s daily routine that pertain to letting go of notions of perfection. To begin embracing imperfections, try telling yourself, “I let go of my need to be in control” and “I let go of my need to be correct, first and perfect all the time.”

 

2. Realize that imperfections make you human

Imperfections give you character and make you authentic. Whenever you find yourself getting swayed anew by the portrayal of someone who’s perfectly put-together and efficient, try imagining that individual as a friend, and part of your daily life. You may be surprised by the revelation that their flawlessness might begin to annoy or bore you in no time.

In the quest for perfection, many of us try to erase our peculiarities and hide our quirks rather than accept them as a vital part of our personalities. In reality, your sense of being flawed or imperfect may be stemming from self-perception that may highlight only one facet of your personality.

Embrace your flaws: imperfections make you human

 

Indeed, you may be completely unaware about how your so-called flaws may offer a sense of wholeness to your persona in the eyes of others. Accepting imperfections by practising self-acceptance allows you to let go of the need to conform to the unrealistic standards you set for yourself, and to be free to lead a meaningful life. 

 

3. Take inspiration from art

Letting go of notions of inadequacy or imperfection does not come easy. Which is why we can take inspiration from the art forms around the world, and creators who wished to glorify the transient and erroneous nature of humans. In fact, the concept of ‘perfectly imperfect’ has been propagated in cultures across the world, wherein mistakes are deliberately introduced in artistic works. 

RELATED: Why We Make Art

Turkish carpet weavers leave unidentical patterns in painstakingly handwoven rugs, whereas Indian sculpturers put small dents or slightly misshapen features, all with the belief that true perfection is solely the privilege of the Creator. And the traditional Japanese art of Wabi-Sabi is centered around the philosophy of beauty comprising of impermanence and imperfection, which is why potters consciously introduce asymmetry and unidentical patterns in their works.

Similarly, Kintsugi, or the ‘art of golden joinery’ involves mending cracks in pottery with brushed gold instead of hiding them, thus coaxing us to spot beauty in unexpected places by embracing imperfections.

 

4. Focus on flow state instead of perfection

We often mistakenly assume that perfection is a prerequisite for fulfilment of goals. Indeed, goals help us move forward, but they shouldn’t serve as impediments that remind us of what we lack. A Harvard Business Review study concluded that while perfectionism can improve performance, it can also result in elevated anxiety and stress levels, as perfectionists often latch their self-worth to their ability to perform perfectly. 

 

“Embracing flaws by practising self-acceptance allows you to let go of the need to conform to the unrealistic standards you set for yourself.”

Thus, perfection need not be a grueling punishment or an obsessive behavior that makes us rigid and devoid of fluidity or expression. Instead, we need to embrace our flaws and endeavor to fulfil our goals while still feeling great about ourselves. Setting SMART goals and developing your flow state or rhythm to achieve these goals can ensure greater success – without the need for you to fall into the perfection trap.

 

5. Surround yourself with positive voices

The company we keep and the people we interact with can affect our thought processes and decisions, and hence it’s advisable to surround ourselves with positive minded people who truly accept us, including our flaws and shortcomings.

MORE LIKE THIS:

• What is Shadow Work? 5 Ways to Get Started
• 31 Shadow Work Prompts For Your Psychological Journey
• Try These 5 Intimacy Exercises to Deepen Connection

 

Find forums and groups with like-minded individuals, make it a habit to listen to inspiring podcasts, and follow bloggers or websites which keep you bustling forward with accountability, without having to resort to the trappings of perfectionism.

 

6. Use your imperfections to help others

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places", noted Ernest Hemingway, the renowned novelist. Once you realize that brushing your insecurities aside and accepting your true self makes you authentic, you can also help others understand. Revelling in your vulnerabilities and continuing to put your best work forward by accepting imperfections can inspire others that are feeling impaired by their imperfections. 

Reaching out to others who may be struggling with accepting their flaws and sharing your experience with them will also help reinforce your learnings towards embracing imperfections.

 

The Takeaway: How to Accept Your Flaws

It’s important to understand that your flaws and imperfections make you human. Some of these flaws you may be able to rectify to fulfil your vision or to evolve into a better version of yourself, while some shortcomings are meant to remain a part of you for ever. Indeed, accepting imperfections and embracing your flaws is one of the keys to leading a fulfilling and authentic life! ●

Main image: shutterstock/Nat Ulrich,  shutterstock/Koldunov

 

Written by Sonia Vadlamani

Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.