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It's been described as a 'silent epidemic': the number of lonely men in the UK and US is on the rise, and so are male suicides. Calvin Holbrook asks if the two could be linked and examines the causes – and possible solutions – of increasing loneliness in male populations. I can still remember grinning ear-to-ear after receiving the keys to my first apartment that was going to be all mine. After years of dodgy flatshares, I’d finally achieved the holy grail of London living: my own home (albeit rented, of course). No more arguments about washing up or cleaning. No more walking into the kitchen in the morning and finding randoms munching on my Cornflakes. The chance to now walk around starkers. Bliss. However, after some months, my initial feelings of happiness started to fade. Feeling increasingly isolated from friends that lived far away, I was spending more time indoors alone. When winter came around, things only got worse and my loneliness deepened into a depression. What was meant to be an amazing new experience quickly soured. At the time, I was in my late 20s. Now, we all know the stereotype of lonely old spinsters –women living alone that go days without talking to anyone except their 27 cats – but I was a young (ish) male. Wasn’t it only old women – and not men – that got lonely? • NEED TO TALK? Find support in our depression forums and join a caring community • Well, as recent research shows, the answer to this questions is a resounding 'no'. Increasingly, it's men – of all different age groups – that are feeling the pains of loneliness and solitude. This increase appears at the same time as a sharp rise in male suicides, so could the two be linked? Loneliness in men: the recent statistics According to a recent YouGov poll in the UK, almost one in five men (18 per cent) owned up to not having a single close friend. Furthermore, one in three (32 per cent) stated that they didn’t have a best friend. For women, these figures were lower at 12 and 24 per cent respectively, suggesting that, on average, men in the UK are leading more solitary lives compared to women. On the edge: loneliness – and suicide – among men is on the increase shutterstock/FotoDuets However, the survey also suggests that while men appear to be lonelier than women, in reality they’re less likely to own up to feeling lonely. Because although the poll showed that 44 per cent of UK men admitted to being lonely ‘sometimes, often or all of the time’, the figure for women was actually higher (50 per cent). This idea that men don’t want to admit to any feelings of male loneliness was backed up by a 2017 by the Jo Cox commission on loneliness. It surveyed 1,200 men and 10 per cent said they would not admit to feeling lonely, preferring to keep it hidden. So, why are there so many lonely men in the UK and other parts of the developed world. What are the driving forces behind the phenomenon of male loneliness? 1. Not discussing feelings These studies suggest that many men prefer not to open up about their loneliness, so it’s not surprising that loneliness among British men has been described by some as the “silent epidemic”. Indeed, a lot of us men the world over would rather talk about anything else other than what’s going on inside us in terms of feelings and emotions! And that’s partly because doing so means opening up and showing real vulnerability. RELATED: 11 things to do if you're feeling lonely Many men growing up are taught not to express our vulnerability as we're shown by society and the media that it’s something weak. We’ve been told to keep a stiff upper lip, to ‘keep calm and carry on’; men should not express their feelings. But, actually, showing vulnerability to someone else is one key factor in which real, close friendships can be forged, and loneliness beaten. A 2012 study entitled 'Men and Suicide: Why it's a social issue’ from the UK charity Samaritans found that even today men still compare themselves against a ‘gold standard’ that values control, power, and invincibility: all these things go against men being vulnerable and speaking out about your emotions and mental health issues. This reason for male loneliness is closely linked to a second factor. 2. Society, stigma and toxic masculinity As well as being taught to be tough, from early childhood many of us men are also conditioned to be assertive and ‘manly'. Not only by our fathers (and sometimes mothers), but by society at large and advertising. Indeed, entire marketing and advertising campaigns are created around what it means to be a man and shoved in our faces. The Samaritans study also found that during childhood men in the UK are taught that being ‘manly’ doesn’t emphasize social and emotional skills. Furthermore, they suggested that it's clearly linked to men taking their own lives. The study states: “Masculinity – the way men are brought up to behave and the roles, attributes and behaviours that society expects of them – contributes to suicide in men.” “Many men prefer not to open up about their loneliness, so it's not surprising that loneliness among British men has been described as a 'silent epidemic'.” Meanwhile, in the US, similar things are afoot. Psychology professor and author Niobe Way has researched teenage boys and their closest friendships. Her work shows that boys in early adolescence express a deeply fulfilling emotional connection for each other. However, by the time they're adults, that sense of connection has disappeared. Why? Way suggests that this ‘natural’ distancing is, in fact, artificial – a result of toxic judgments leveled against boys and young teenage men by their society and environment. Speaking to Mark Greene for Upworthy, Way explained: “Boys know by late adolescence that their close male friendships, and even their emotional acuity, put them at risk of being labeled girly, immature, or gay. Thus, rather than focusing on who they are, they become obsessed with who they are not  —  they are not girls, little boys nor, in the case of heterosexual boys, are they gay.” The result? “These boys mature into men who are autonomous, emotionally stoic, and isolated,” says Way. Three strong factors for male loneliness. And even though many of these men are now in relationships with families, it can be argued that they're experiencing a real sense of loss from losing their previous male friendships. 3. Fewer bonding opportunities Research suggests that men bond more during shared, intense experiences, for example, group sporting activities or serving in the military. Women, on the other hand, find making friendships easier and see more options, forging pals with other parents they meet through children’s schools, clubs or sports teams. According to the YouGov poll, 71 per cent of women found friends this way but only 49 per cent of men did. RELATED: How to make new friends as an adult Speaking to The Times, Robin Hewings, the director of research at the Campaign to End Loneliness, backed up this difference between male and female loneliness figures in the 2019 YouGov survey: “Women are more likely to have wider social networks than men across their lifetime and spend more time cultivating their existing friendships and meeting new people. For a lot of men, friendships formed in the workplace are key, which can lead to loneliness and isolation in retirement.” 4. Retirement and living alone Indeed, retirement plays an important part. If those male work relationships are not continued after retirement, it can lead to isolation and loneliness. Figures from the Jo Cox Commission state that over a quarter of men aged 65-69 in the UK said that retiring had made them feel lonely. And as my own personal of living alone shows, it's not always what it's cracked up to be. In reality, for some men living alone, it can be isolating, with them having less regular contact with family and friends. The number of middle-aged people living alone in the UK has jumped by about a half over the past two decades, figures show. For men, the ages of 45 to 64 were the most common with approximately 1.3 million men residing solo. 5. Marriage You’d expect married men to be less lonely and unsupported, but a 2015 YouGov survey for Movember actually showed that UK married men have some of the lowest levels of support outside of their homes. In fact, they were found to be over 30 per cent more likely than their single counterparts to claim they have no one to turn to. Solo shame: men typically have fewer bonding opportunities than women shutterstock/Prostock-studio Importantly, married men are also more than twice as likely as men who cohabit with a partner yet remain unmarried to say the same. This suggests that its marriage itself, rather than being in a long-term relationship, that cuts existing male friendship ties. Sarah Coghlan, country director for Movember UK, told The Telegraph: “Men are expected to spend time with their wives, and that’s normal and natural and very healthy, but at the cost perhaps of friendships that they need to invest in.” Male loneliness and suicide Aside from these major causes of male loneliness, some other factors include moving away from friends and family, going through a breakup, unemployment, and the death of a family member. Just like me, you've probably experience loneliness to some degree. But while being lonely is something we all go through now and again, if chronic loneliness develops, it can be dangerous – or even fatal: a 2015 study showed that lacking social connections is as bad for our health as smoking 15 cigarettes each day (Holt-Lunstad). According to the Jo Cox commission study, around 35 per cent of men said being lonely made them feel depressed. And if men are battling depression or anxiety as well on top of loneliness, then it’s pretty hard to ‘keep calm and carry on’: eventually something has to break, and that's what we're seeing with a rise in mental health issues in men. RELATED: 8 powerful suicide prevention quotes In 2018 the UK suicide rate rose to its highest level since 2002 – over 6,500 people took their own life (11.2 per 100,000 people) – a figure up 12 per cent on the previous year. And of those registered suicides, a staggering 75 per cent were men. Likewise, in the US, suicide as a whole is the highest it has been in decades and as of 2017, the male suicide rate was over three times that of the female rate. So, it’s clear that men are disproportionately taking their own lives, with loneliness playing a big part. Combating male loneliness To fight off male loneliness, it’s vital that all men – regardless of sexuality and relationship status – take their friendships seriously and continually invest in them. Men are traditionally more likely to develop friendships with someone they have met at a bar or pub or through sports clubs, but there are plenty of other ways to meet other men and women and combat male loneliness. Some ideas for ways lonely men to make new friends include: Joining a gym and trying a new fitness course, signing up to do a marathon, or joining a walking or hiking group (the latter is great as you have to talk while walking, plus you get the benefits of being in nature). Get a dog and strike up conversations with other owners while out. Get to know neighbours by joining a local community group. Use social media to re-connect with old friends, then try to meet in a real-world setting. Doing voluntary work. As well as meeting new people to combat loneliness, there are plenty of other benefits to volunteering, such as boosting self-esteem. Indeed, within the UK, there have been some great initiatives set up to reduce the number of lonely men and to make their worlds brighter. These case studies can be examined to see what works best. In Leeds, the Time to Shine program aims to reduce the loneliness of the city’s older population. It was found that ensuring men feel they have something practical to offer is important in them getting involved – this worked well when mean were encouraged to volunteer in a charity shop. “To fight off male loneliness, it's vital that all men take their friendships seriously and continually invest in them.” Other activities that appeal to older men include those which provide the chance to teach skills to others, such as DIY or gardening or DIY. These have helped lonely men to generate a sense of purpose and help build their self-esteem. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Working together: the Men in Sheds scheme helps lonely men in the UK YouTube/Spool Elsewhere, the UK Men’s Sheds Association helps men to reduce loneliness by enabling them to connect and enjoy skills and activities together. And, yep, as the name suggests, it’s done in that traditional older male habitat – the garden shed. Over 500 sheds are in operation throughout the UK with over 100 more in development. And while many of the men involved are of retirement, the project attracts younger lonely me also. A cut above Another success aimed at the younger generation of depressed and lonely men in the UK is the Lion’s Barber Collective. Founded in 2015 by barber Tom Chapman, the aim is to turn barber’s shops into safe spaces of discussion for men. Chapman gives profession training courses in person and via video helping barbers to feel comfortable about discussing mental health with their clients. • JOIN US! Need support? Sign-up to happiness.com and join a community that cares • The intimacy of getting a haircut is used as a starting point for conversations around depression, anxiety, etc. What’s more, as it’s a regular and frequent event, the Collective hopes that clients can be a rapport and friendship with their barbers. As Chapman explained to Quartz magazine: “Being in the chair, having that conversation, one-to-one contact, human contact, that doesn’t happen very often.” Group gains: activities such as hiking can fight off male loneliness shutterstock/illpaxphotomatic “We [barbers] listen on average 2,000 hours a year. If we can help train barbers to recognize the signs, ask the right questions, listen with empathy and without judgement and help them help their clients find the resources that are available, we can help save lives,” Chapman said. His initiative, which started in Devon, has won plaudits and has now spread internationally to New York City and Australia. Readdressing toxic masculinity Initiatives like these are making great strides to make positive changes in male loneliness and mental health. And it seems some companies and advertisers are starting to take note that they also play an important role in influencing men’s mental health and loneliness. Continuing the men’s grooming theme, shaving company Gillette recently changed their 30-year-old tagline from ‘the best a man can get’ to ‘the best men can be’ to fight back against toxic masculinity. The company said the new tagline and advertisement was part of a broader initiative for Gilette to promote “positive, attainable, inclusive and healthy versions of what it means to be a man. Of course, it will take a lot more than this to reverse the worrying trend of male loneliness and suicide. But with a growing awareness and discussion of male mental health and successful initiatives like Men's Sheds Association and Lion's Barber Collective expanding throughout the UK and beyond, hopefully soon there won't be so many lonely men struggling to cope with their isolation. Indeed, as stigma around male loneliness continues to be broken down, men should be able to become more vulnerable and feel comfortable opening up about the issues affecting them. ● Are you struggling with mental health issues or loneliness? In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 or [email protected] or [email protected]. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. For other international helplines, visit www.befrienders.org. Main image: shutterstock/Robsonphoto happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Compassion | Friendship | Charity Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness.com magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also loves hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

After being pictured knitting at the Olympics, champion diver Tom Daley put crochet and yarn back in the public eye. Keen knitter Dee Marques looks at the health benefits of this popular pastime – from reducing anxiety to improving cognitive function. Two years ago, I was browsing a crafts store website when something caught my eye. All I saw was a beautifully vibrant teal colour, and then I realised it was yarn. I really wanted to have that colour in my life, so I thought that if that meant learning to knit, so be it! I ordered the yarn, found some YouTube tutorials, and haven’t stopped knitting since. In fact, it turns out that my experience of falling in love with yarn and knitting is quite common. Indeed, knitting is going through quite a revival, with people of all ages turning to the craft and discovering the benefits it brings to their mental health. Let's look at why this traditional skill is so popular again and at some of the interesting health advantages knitting can bring you. Knitting: how it became hip When people think about knitting, they usually picture an old lady sitting in a rocking chair and making a pair of thick and furry socks! Well, although old ladies do, of course, still knit, this old-fashioned stereotype is gradually being replaced by a new reality: knitting is no longer just a 'housewifey' thing to do. The health benefits of knitting include reducing stress and anxiety Indeed, knitting is fast-shedding its fuddy-duddy image. Over the past few years it's gone from being seen as something traditional to something radical. Now, knitting is no longer associated with domesticity, but rather with a creative activity for men and women of all ages. For example, Facebook is full of knitting groups for guys, such as Men Who Knit. And the list of celebrities who are into knitting includes Russell Crowe, Christina Hendricks, and, more recently, Olympic bronze medallist Tom Daley – you may have spotted him in the crowd recently darning away during a swimming competition. “Knitting is going through a revival, and people of all ages are turning to the craft and falling in love with it – and the benefits it brings to their health.” A quick online search reveals lots of knitting clubs, as well as an endless Instagram feed where people from all over the world show off their skills and new creations. Some designers have started featuring incredibly creative knit garments that show how knitting is a match for unconventional personalities. Diver Tom Daley and one of his creations Instagram/madewithlovebytomdaley Furthermore, knitting has experienced a huge surge in popularity since the start of the pandemic. As millions of us found ourselves stuck at home with nothing to do due to lockdowns, knitting became a great way to learn a new skill and pass the time while doing something both creative and productive. In fact, during the past 18 months knitting stores have experienced a massive increase in sales and a surge in social media followers! Practical advantages of knitting So, before getting into the health benefits of knitting, here are some other reasons why it's such a cool hobby to indulge in: It’s affordable. You can get started with just a few knitting needles, yarn, and a couple of stoppers. If you don’t want to buy them new, charity shops have tons of knitting goodies at low prices. In fact, I was able to get started by spending just £5! I found a few used needles at a second-hand store, and a neighbour gave me her kit, which she didn’t use anymore due to arthritis. You can knit at home – and everywhere else you want. I made myself a pouch for my knitting tools and I make sure to always have it in my bag. That way, I can make progress on whatever I’m working on when I’m waiting at the GP surgery or at any other place where I know I have a long wait ahead of me. You don't need much space. When you start knitting, you’ll need to follow patterns. Unlike sewing patterns, which can be huge and take up a lot of space, knitting patterns can be easily downloaded from websites and they barely cover more than an A4-sized piece of paper. There are plenty of free patterns, too. Knitting is useful. Fancy a pair of fingerless gloves in your favourite colour? You can make them in one day. Want to make someone a handmade gift? Then knit a scarf, a beanie, or a wash cloth. When it comes to the practical side of knitting, nothing beats knowing that you can make your own clothes and accessories. The knitting community is friendly and supportive. Everyone knows what it’s like to be a beginner and the community if full of people offering help and support to newbies. Six key health benefits of knitting The health benefits of knitting are mostly linked to mental health. But since mind and body are closely connected, the health benefits of knitting could also extend to physical well-being. Here are six potential advantages: 1. Reduced stress and anxiety This is one of the greatest health benefits of knitting and the first to be noticed. Once you get 'in the flow' (and you will know when this happens!), knitting grabs all your attention and you become so absorbed in working row after row, that it takes your mind away from other worries. For me, knitting is synonymous with serenity, reducing both my anxiety and stress. 2. Improved cognitive function At first sight, it may seem that knitting is a simple and repetitive activity. But alternating your knit and purl stitches stimulates brain function. Studies carried out in older adults have shown that this type of productive mental engagement can benefit cognitive skills, including memory and reasoning. Linked to this, some research suggests that the cognitive demands of knitting can also reduce the risk of developing Alzheimer’s and dementia, as it keeps the brain cells fired up. More men than ever are discovering the health benefits of knitting shutterstock/Elmur 3. Improved self-confidence Knitting means creating something, and it’s empowering to go from being a consumer to being a producer. This gives knitters a boost of confidence and a feeling of accomplishment when seeing their work progress. Indeed, there’s a feeling of fulfilment involved in being able to wear or use what you made – doing something with your hands has healing power! And while we all know clinical depression requires professional support, studies have shown that knitting has can take negative thoughts off the mind and release serotonin, which helps fight depressive states. 4. A lesson in mindfulness Knitting requires focus and concentration in the present, one stitch at the time. This craft has been called 'the new yoga', since every knitting session is a great opportunity to disconnect from the outside world, slow down, and focus. Does this sound familiar? Yes, it’s similar to mindfulness, and so the health benefits of knitting are linked. “Studies have shown that knitting can take negative thoughts off the mind and release serotonin, which helps fight depressive states.” In fact, some people compare knitting to meditation and have even coined a new term for it: medknitation. Instead of repeating a mantra or focusing on their breathing, some knitters concentrate on the repetitive flow of knitting and are able to achieve a similar meditative state. The teacher of happiness.com's MBSR course, Tine Steiss, is an avid knitter and keen proponent of the hobby due to its many benefits: "Knitting keeps my hands busy and this is beneficial in two situations: I can listen more deeply, be it in a meeting, in a conversation or with an audio book or podcast. I don't then reach for my mobile phone, a snack, or some other form of distraction. RELATED: How to Practise Niksen – the Art of Doing Nothing “But knitting also helps me relax, or in other words, it's an excuse to relax. When my hands are busy, the brain no longer searches for things that need to be done. Unlike mindfulness meditation, where I'm actively exercising the brain in a form of focused stillness, when I'm knitting, the brain is casually chilling on the couch.” Happy knits from designer Lizzie Kaya Instagram/gimme_kaya 5. It boosts dopamine and a feel-good effect Knitting can be frustrating when you’re a beginner. It took me a while to figure out how to undo mistakes, and until that happened, I was annoyed every time I got a stitch wrong. But it’s also incredibly rewarding. Seeing the progress of your work, gaining self-confidence, and being relaxed are all states that trigger dopamine. This substance is known as the feel-good hormone, and it has a beneficial effect on body and mind. The release of dopamine can help regulate mood, sleep, digestion, blood flow, and many other important functions that contribute to the fabulous health benefits of knitting. RELATED: Happiness Hormones – the Neurochemicals of Happiness 6. A sense of control Most of us have felt things getting out of control over the past year or so. Instead of dwelling on the negative state of things, choosing to spend time doing something over which you do have control can help improve your well-being. Start with an easy project so that you can experience that wonderful feeling of being in control of what can be controlled. To sum up, knitting is another coping tool you can add to your arsenal. Emotional well-being is one of the health benefits of knitting that everyone should experience. The takeaway: why knitting benefits your health The therapeutic effects of knitting range from reduced stress to better cognitive functioning, self-confidence, and the ability to focus on the present moment. You can experience the health benefits of knitting whether your knit alone or as part of a group. It doesn’t take much to get started, and once you get hooked, you’ll never look back! ● Main image: shutterstock/Samo Trebizan Are you a keen knitter? What health benefits does it give you? Share your thoughts and designs with the happiness.com community in the comments below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Stress management | Sculpturing | Dementia | Painting Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

We all get down sometimes, but if you're stuck in a rut and thinking 'why do I hate my life', it's time to take action. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović shares 10 practical ideas to help put your life in perspective and turn things around so you can start loving living again. 'I hate my life!' Does this statement (or, rather, exclamation bellowed in agony) resonate with you now or in the past? Then you are not alone. Life can be joyous, exhilarating and breathtaking. However, it is also unpredictable. Challenges arise, we make poor decisions, difficulties get hurled our way. A part of life is to dislike some of it. You might have married the wrong person, and now you loathe your time together. Maybe you were hit by an economic crisis and cannot make ends meet. You may hate your job or have a terrible work life balance. Sometimes it seems only logical to hate your life. I lived in that state for many years. And I do not mean a teenage 'I hate my life!' exclamation when you embarrass yourself in front of the entire class. I'm talking about the darkest loathing of every waking moment. I know how your soul grows black when you feel inescapably hopeless and helpless. Why did I share that with you? Because I want you to know that what you will read is not empty talk. I have travelled the path, and I did so very recently. You, too, can swim back to the surface. How? Read on for some ideas on how to fight the antipathy you nurture towards your own life — and fall back in love with it. What to do when you hate your life: reclaim it Hating your life is not a pretty state to be in. Wrong choices and regret tend to put you off course. I remember when I noticed my life suddenly starting to lose all its colours. I felt lost. I was paralysed by the revulsion when I catalogued all my failures that made my life unenjoyable, to say the least. So, if you have had enough of loathing, start reclaiming your life. It may be a long road to travel. Still, you are bound to become sager afterwards — not to mention happier. If you are wondering what to do when you hate your life, here are the 10 steps you owe it to yourself to take: 1. Take time to reflect The first essential step you need to take is to understand why you're unhappy with your life. It may be obvious, like having a job that drains your energy and has no higher purpose whatsoever. In other instances, the source of your hatred may not be so obvious. It could be a group of aspects of your life, like an unsupportive family, lack of time for hobbies, overly expensive apartment, wrong profession, and so on. What to do when you hate your life? Reclaim it! Take some time to reflect on the topic and write down your thoughts. What it is exactly that you want out of your life? It would be best if you determined exactly where the loathing comes from. Because unless you know why you hate your life, it will be challenging to come up with how to find yourself again and start feeling more positive. 2. Determine what's in your power to change When you're done with the soul-searching from the first step, you should analyse the situation. What is it that you can control and change? And what is out of your hands? For example, if you're in an abusive relationship, there's little point in trying to make the abuser change. However, you can transform your perspective on things. You can gradually start refusing to think about your life and yourself as they dictate. Their insults do not have to be the building blocks of your identity. MORE LIKE THIS: Discover the 10 Keys to Happier Living Feeling Blue Or Clinically Depressed? 4 Things You Should Look Out For How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed: 8 Strategies The Serenity Prayer, regardless of your religion, speaks about a pearl of universal and timeless wisdom: Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other 3. Remove unhelpful automatic thoughts Whatever your situation may be, chances are, the previous step led you to realise your thoughts are always in your hands. Indeed, it's the one thing we can always control, although this is a challenge in itself. We all have many automatic thoughts. Unfortunately, they are often unhelpful. Such maladaptive thinking patterns cause numerous disturbances and difficulties, as a cross-cultural study found. A straightforward example: if you keep thinking “why do I hate my life” then you are gearing your mind towards negativity. “If you're in a situation that makes you unhappy with your life, take time to work on forgiveness. If we replace our unforgiving emotions with empathy and compassion, our bodies and minds heal.” Work on removing such maladaptive thoughts. Challenge them, search for counterarguments. Come up with alternative statements, and start thinking them instead of the negative ones. For example, replace “I hate my life” with “It is in my power to create the life I want”. Remember: you are not your thoughts. Furthermore, a systematic review of nearly 70 scientific papers confirmed the power of self-talk. Positive self-talk can improve our performance, help with depression or anxiety symptoms, and increase our confidence. 4. Forgive and self-forgive If you're in a situation that makes you unhappy with your life, take time to work on forgiveness. An extensive review of studies on forgiveness found that if we find it in ourselves to replace the unforgiving emotions with empathy and compassion, our bodies and minds heal. And what about self-forgiveness? When you forgive yourself, you open the doors to growing as a person, a study revealed. According to Stanford University’s summary of recent findings in the field, self-forgiveness leads to: Wisdom Increased ability to focus, success, and higher productivity Better emotional health More quality relationships A sense of happiness and gratitude So, whether you’re feeling guilty for hurting another person, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or for failing to stick to healthy habits, let go of self-hate. Letting go of loathing will help you release your energy for a fresh start and a new, happier life. It's time to be your own best friend and stop self-flagellation. 5. Practise gratitude When you are dissatisfied with your life, you probably have a bias towards seeing the negatives. It may be a strong mental habit, making you blind to the opportunities that are still there for you. However, if you're fed up with the hatred of your life, start practising gratitude. Focus on all of the good things in your life. Indeed, even in the darkest moments, there is something to be grateful for. Unhappy with life? Practise gratitude and enjoy the simple things It may be your memories and the wonderful moments you've had in the past. It could be your inner strength and perseverance. Look at nature and cherish its beauty. Take a moment to watch the morning and be thankful for seeing it. Savour. Then move gradually towards recognising other positives in your life — friends, family, your home, your job... find the good in everything you can. In that way, you train your mind to stop focusing on the loathsome aspects of your life. Scientific research has confirmed the benefits of gratitude on life satisfaction and happiness. Suddenly, you will start seeing the opportunities to turn things around. 6. Avoid comparisons Comparing yourself to others can make you vulnerable to anxiety, low self-esteem and depression. We're naturally inclined to compare ourselves to others. Social media makes it very difficult not to. However, what people showcase online is carefully corrected and selected to display only the best features. Trying to keep up with those fake standards is bound to make you hate your life. Even when you know images and posts are edited, they can still make you feel inadequate. “If you're fed up with the hatred of your life, start practising gratitude. Even in the darkest moments, there is something to be grateful for.” So, do not compare yourself. Direct your energy towards your authentic needs and wishes instead. Ask yourself — what would I want if I was not trying to keep up? What would I do if I did not care about praise, money, accomplishments, recognition? 7. Explore your passions Try to remember the last time you felt on top of the world. You were likely living in line with your principles and passions at that time. Now that you are not, you probably feel lost and 'I hate my life' has become your mantra. Therefore, venture on to explore and (re)discover your interests. Ask yourself: “What is it that I used to love doing and believed in?” “What would I want to do if I did not have to care about money or anything else?” MORE LIKE THIS: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: 7 Techniques That Work Happiness Is A Choice: 8 Ways To Choose It Today Search for the activities that give you something called flow state, a phrase coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Flow is a state in which you get lost in an activity. You stop noticing time passing and you're 100% absorbed in what you're doing. Csikszentmihalyi’s research concluded that the more ‘flow’ you have in your life, the more resilience, well-being, and fulfilment you will enjoy. So, when you are feeling unsatisfied with life, remember what you used to love doing, or try new hobbies: maybe you will find something that reignites your flame. 8. Get support (and input) from your friends and family Hating your life puts you in a dark and, often, lonely place. You may be living under circumstances that isolate you. The heaviness of the feeling might be too much to hide or to share with others. Yet, being alone is a stressor on its own. It can make it too easy to ruminate about what you loathe about your life. Try to “prescribe” yourself socialising with people. Enjoy a casual coffee with friends or a heart-to-heart conversation about what worries you. Studies revealed that social support could help you step out of your head and gain a fresh perspective on things. Embrace family and friends when you're feeling unhappy with life 9. Look after yourself When you're in a state of hating your life, it often becomes difficult to take good care of yourself. However, the mind-body connection goes two ways. When you're sleep-deprived, sick, and physically weak, you become psychologically vulnerable, too. “Come up with alternative statements and start thinking them instead of negative ones. Replace 'I hate my life' with, 'It's in my power to create the life I want.” So, start looking after yourself. Sleep, exercise, get enough fresh air, eat healthy food. Scientific research has proven that physical activity helps lower the levels of stress hormones in your body. It also increases your ability to focus and use your intellectual skills better. As a result, you will gain clarity and better control over your emotions. Same goes for other acts of self-care. Give yourself plenty of self-love, even when you do not feel like it. Your future self will thank you. 10. Make a plan of action After all of the steps above, you're probably ready to make an action plan. Identify what makes you unhappy. Commit to making small steps to improve things. Each day, ask yourself: “What is it that I can do to move closer to my goal today?” The 'why do I hate my life' monster might raise its ugly head a few more times. However, stop sabotaging yourself. Do not allow it to stay in your head for too long. Remember — our time on this planet is limited. You do not want to spend whatever time you have left hating your life — you want to change it while you can. Takeaway: what to do when you hate your life Yes, you only get to live once. So, does it make any sense to hate your life? Is it not wiser to try and change it around? It may take some time, but if you use the rock bottom you're at right now to push yourself back to the surface, you will be able to say: “I survived”. You will start to love living again and enjoy every moment of it. • Images: shutterstock/Srdjan Randjelovic, shutterstock/Serhii Yurkiv, shutterstock/AlessandroBiascioli If you continue to feel low about life, this could be a symptom of clinical depression. If you experience any of the signs of this emotional disorder, make sure to reach out to your local mental health services. In the US, you can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for free and confidential support. Use Lifeline Chat or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). In the UK, call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected] for a reply within 24 hours. You can also text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text “YM” if you're under 19. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting in our happiness forum Authenticity | Power of Purpose | Communication skills Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

As COVID restrictions relax, many of us are looking forward to getting away again. And taking time out to travel helps us do more than just chill out. As Calvin Holbrook discovers, research suggests that, in fact, traveling offers some important mental health benefits. Whether it's a 48-hour road trip out of town or two weeks in a far away foreign country, travel can work wonders for both our personal and professional lives. And aside from giving us the chance to relax, research has shown that, in fact, travel provides us with a great number of benefits to our mental health. So, here are six key ways traveling is great for mental health and happiness: it'll give you six more excuses to start planning your next adventure! 1. It reduces stress and boosts health The daily commute. Family issues. Relationship problems. Feeling unhappy at work. Our day-to-day lives can be filled with many stressful situations. Taking time away from those things through travel is a great way to clear your head and de-stress, as it temporarily removes us from the places and activities that increase our stress levels. Travelling allows us to forget about our chores and stresses and reset our minds. According to a 2013 study, almost 90 per cent of Americans surveyed noticed significant drops in stress following just a couple of days of travelling. The same study found that women who travelled only every six years or less had a significantly higher risk of developing coronary death or heart attack when compared with women who vacationed at least twice a year. Additionally, men who didn’t take an annual vacation were shown to have a 20 per cent higher risk of death and about a 30 per cent greater risk of death because of heart disease. Travel boosts mental and physical health shutterstock/haveseen Margaret J King from the Center for Cultural Studies and Analysis sums up the stress-relieving abilities of travel well: “With a short list of activities each day, freed up from the complexities of ongoing projects and relationships, the mind can reset, as does the body, with stress relief the main outcome.” 2. It boosts happiness and mood Aside from the obvious point that you don't have to work (and can basically eat and drink pretty much anything), traveling provides you with the perfect chance to step away from the mundane daily grind. Switching up your daily routine through travelling means new experiences and events, which are proven to help rewire the brain and stimulate your mind, in turn boosting both your mood and happiness levels. Furthermore, according to two significant studies, even just the act of planning a trip is proven to raise your happiness levels. RELATED: Why money can't buy happiness (except when you spend it like this) A 2014 study by Cornell University concluded that the anticipation of a trip increases a person’s happiness levels substantially, more so than the idea of acquiring a new possession, such as a car. This research was backed up by a further study from the University of Surrey that found that people are at their happiest when they have a trip ahead already planned. Moreover, they’re also more positive about their general quality of life, health and financial situation. 3. It makes you more mentally resilient and independent Visiting a new place while traveling is exciting, but it can also be intimidating and challenging. Indeed, facing difficulties in an unfamiliar environment and being among new people and situation often forces you out of your comfort zone. For example, it could be trying to speak a new foreign language, navigating public transport networks, attempting to order and try new foods… While this can sometimes be uncomfortable, this aspect of foreign travel can also make us more resilient, by toughening us up mentally and emotionally. “Travelling allows us to forget about our stresses and reset our minds. According to a 2013 study, almost 90 per cent of Americans surveyed noticed significant drops in stress following after just a couple of days of travelling.” Being out of our comfort zones like this means we have to learn and adapt, which in turn makes us more flexible and patient. And, according to a 2013 research paper by Zimmerman and Neyer, the challenge of travelling in a foreign country can strengthen the 'openness' of our personalities and improve emotional stability. 4. It gives you time to reconsider your life Travelling helps promotes mindfulness as we tend to forget our lives back home and instead focus on the moment and all the nice things we're experiencing. However, taking time out from our regular routine can also provide a valuable time for reflection, especially if you're going through a transitional period in your life. As writer Patrick Rothfuss once said, “A long stretch of road can teach you more about yourself than a hundred years of quiet.” Furthermore, the lessons that you learn along the way during your travels can broaden your perspective, making you more aware and open to new ideas. Likewise, experiencing new cultures gives you a chance to reflect on your own. RELATED: Happiness in Different Cultures This chance to reflect on life is backed up by Adrian and Christoph from the German travel podcast Welttournee – der Reise Podcast. They are two friends who've travelled together to over 100 countries. Christoph says: “We've travelled to many countries together but from time to time it’s also good to go on the big trip alone. To be able to look, see and judge, it’s sometimes a big advantage, when you are totally on your own and unencumbered – your inner voices begin to speak with you and from this point it could be a journey to yourself.” 5. It strengthens and clarifies relationships Many of the benefits of travelling on mental health we've looked at so far are very focused on individuals. So, how can travel be positive when there is more than one of you on the trip? Well, if you're travelling with a friend or partner, it opens up the possibility to strengthen and clarify the relationship. In our daily lives, relationship stress can occur through miscommunication and other issues, which can in turn affect our mental health. However, traveling with lovers, family or friends, creates not just more time together but a different kind of time together: it provides the opportunity to connect on a deeper level. Travel can help strengthen relationships shutterstock/biletskiy During a trip together you have the chance to experience to many different and perhaps new feelings – awe, confusion, excitement, disorientation – all of which can be meaningful for relationships. Indeed, according to a 2012 survey by the US Travel Association, couples who travel together have healthier and happier relationships compared to those who do not. The phone study provided three key results: Travel has long-term benefits for couples, such as increased closeness and perception of shaared goals/interests Travel helps build and maintain relationships Travel ignites romance and intimacy Furthermore, planning a trip as well as making decisions – and compromises – can help bring you closer and strengthen a relationship. However, on the other hand, these experiences can also bring out hidden clarity to a relationship that was facing difficulties. Some people discover that the relationship with the person they’re traveling with is not worth investing in further and they realise they're not really compatible. 6. It increases depth of thought and creativity If you’re facing a creative block or lacking in direction, travel could do your mental health the world of good by boosting your ability to form new ideas and unlock your creativity through new experiences. You may have previously heard that taking a different route to work every day is beneficial to you. That’s down to neuroplasticity – the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections. By changing your environment and exposing your brain to things you haven’t seen before, you’re literally forming new neuronal pathways. And creativity is directly related to neuroplasticity. “According to a 2012 survey by the US Travel Association, couples who travel together have healthier and happier relationships compared to those who do not.” This was backed up with a 2014 study published in the Academy of Management Journal. The research showed that foreign travel and work significantly improved creativity among fashion directors from over 270 fashion houses. But simply being somewhere new is not enough to maximise boosting your creativity. According to the study’s researcher Adam Galinsky, engagement, immersion and adaptation were all critical factors to success. He told The Atlantic: “Someone who lives abroad and doesn’t engage with the local culture will likely get less of a creative boost than someone who travels abroad and really engages in the local environment.” So, next time you go somewhere new, make sure to delve into all it has to offer and connect with the local community: you’ll be forming new neuronal pathways in the brain and may boost your creative juices. The takeaway: travel and mental health Science shows that, apart from just relaxing, travelling and experiencing new cultures helps boost our mental health and happiness in many ways: providing stress relief, boosting our resilience, creativity and happiness, while also improving our relationships. As Christoph from Welttournee – der Reise Podcast says, “We have become disgustingly rich by traveling. Not necessarily in our bank balance, but in a very special way. After each trip we have many stories to tell. We have met many new people, tried new things and become richer in our own way.” ● Main image: shutterstock/frantic00 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Anxiety | Depression | Compassion Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness.com magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also loves hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

Which are the best happiness apps out there on the market? Rae Bathgate selects the top six that help boost your well-being. Apple coined the phrase “there's an app for that,” and it's true many of us tend rely on our smartphones and apps for so much these days. There are apps for music, dating, exercising, health, transport, learning new languages, and even tuning a guitar. But what are some of the best happiness apps out there? There are so many happiness apps these days, how do you know which are the best? Well, below I review six of the top science-based happiness apps to reveal their strengths and weaknesses. The best happiness apps are, first and foremost, free (at least for a trial run). Many also use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as a basis for their concept. While apps are indeed very different than an hour of talk therapy with a counsellor, the way that apps can work within the realm of CBT is to try to modify your thinking patterns and by helping you to change patterns of behaviour through repetition. This can be of help if you are trying to stop ruminating. Who uses happiness apps? There are various reasons why self-care apps can be a positive addition to your life and push you a little bit closer towards your quest to happiness. They're more common than you think, and people already tend to use the iPhone, an extension of themselves, as a way to learn more about and to be more in tune with their mind. Get appy: which happiness apps boost your well-being? Indeed, according to Nature, about 29 per cent of “disease-specific mobile health apps” are focused on mental health. For example, two common mental health related apps for more dire circumstances are the PTSD Coach app or FOCUS for users with schizophrenia. While these two don't illustrate why the average happy hunter uses happiness apps, they have some of the same benefits. So, can an app really make you happier? First of all, the best happiness apps are helpful for those with a busy schedule, as they are always available. After all, you never know when you’ll need help. The app also interacts positively with the user. Just like getting constant notifications or updates on social media might be stressful, receiving reminders to do a task or maybe an affirmation just when you need it could help you feel a lot better. “Apps within the realm of CBT try to modify your thinking patterns and by helping you to change your patterns of behaviour through repetition.” While not all the apps are free, many beat the cost of going to see a mental health professional, and, what’s more, the stigma of going to see a specialist unfortunately still exists. Some of the advantages of using happiness apps are: You can practice them everywhere; If you use them as much as you use your smartphone, you'll use them regularly; It can remind you to be happier if you forget; Many of them are cost effective, if not free. Of course, it's important to remember that happiness and health apps are an excellent way to keep working towards better mental health at the forefront of your everyday life and can consolidate healthy habits, but even the best happiness apps by no means replace visiting a mental health professional, or even just simple human contact. Think of these happy apps like vitamins – supplements are great, but they can never replace the real thing. So, without further ado – and in no particular order – here's our pick of the best happiness apps on the market right now. 1. Happify Android: Free iPhone: Free Happify comes in both website and app form, and claims to: increase happiness through fun activities and games; help you learn life-changing habits based on science; reduce stress and build skills for a happy healthy life. The Happify app has various “scientifically validated tracks” that are suggested to you after you take a short questionnaire detailing your life and health. Each track has a theme and is divided into parts (usually four). These are then divided into activities, ranging from guided meditations to reflective writing assignments to fun games. How many tracks depends on if you pay the monthly subscription or downloaded the free version. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Happify app: an overview of this happiness application For the more socially minded, there's a community page with inspirational comments from other users. You can add your own too to brighten someone else’s day since it’s proven to make you feel happier. There are 58 'core activities' to begin with, with different variations, adding up to an amazing 1,200 various activities in total. These activities were designed with the help of a psychology professor, and they range from asking you to write down what you’re looking forward to in general, or looking forward to doing for a friend. Each of the 58 activities has a “Why it works” icon next to it, to explain you more about the science behind the fun games. Every two weeks, your phone gives you a happiness check-in. “While not all the best happiness apps are free, many beat the cost of going to see a mental health professional.” The reception for Happify app has been overall positive. In fact, 86 per cent of the app's users reported feeling better about their lives after just two months of using it during testing, with many reporting feeling more motivated and productive, indicating that it helps people to solidify positive, helpful habits that are the framework for a more confident and happy life. Happify app allows you develop life-changing habits Users can also access Happify Daily – free content based around happiness – as well as the Happify community and forum. And, if you really feel the app is working for you, you can unlock the full range of actives and reports by subscribing to Happify Plus. So, as a recap, here's why you should download the Happify app: It helps you build resilience for stressful experiences; It helps you build happy, healthy habits tied to positive thinking; Since even reflecting on happy memories releases happiness hormones, you can boost your well-being by making a digital scrapbook to remind you of sunnier pastures when you feel blue. 2. Happy Habits Android: free iPhone: unavailable The Happy Habits app describes itself as relying heavily on the principles of CBT, and that it works by helping to “create the conditions for happiness in [the user's] life. It starts out by giving its users a 119-item test to assess their happiness based on 14 factors; then, they administer results and suggestions, through games and soothing audios to talk you through your quest for happiness. Another Happy Habits feature are Emotion Training Audios. These are to help with managing emotions so that you can be more aware and cultivate a more positive attitude, best used when you feel overwhelmed by anger, sadness, or stress. Happy Habits: a sneak peak inside this well-being app Then, if you're feeling particularly anxious, you can also use the Relaxation Audios to unwind and to learn deep relaxation. Or, for those of you who like to find out more about the concept and the history of the pursuit of happiness, there's their Choosing Happiness Audio to delve into the idea of and search for well-being. For those of you who like to cross things off of a list, the Happy Habits app also features a Customisable Happy 'to do' list. “The best happiness are free (at least for a trial run). Many also use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as a basis for their concept.” Like most of the best happy apps, it's gamified, which means using it is fun, rather than a chore, with a points feature that helps you to keep track of progress. Users who like to write and keep track of their thoughts will be happy to know that the app also has a happiness journal for writing personal affirmations and recording positive events to look back on later. The Happy Habits design is a little retro, but it uses positive colours like yellow and orange, and it’s customizable. So, a recap of why you should use Happy Habits: It's based on CBT, a method that's proven to help depression and anxiety; It has a large variety of calming audios for you to listen to in the car, on the bus, or at home; It gives you a gratitude scrapbook to look back on when you need to cheer up. 3. SuperBetter Android: free iPhone: free Building resilience – the ability to stay strong, motivated and optimistic – even in the face of change and difficult challenges is tough. But the makers behind the SuperBetter app believe that using their tool will unlock your heroic potential so you can overcome tough situations and achieve goals that matter most. RELATED: Happiness podcasts – 8 that we rate At the heart of SuperBetter is the Live Gamefully® method, a framework that brings the psychological strengths and mindset of gameplay to real life. The method promotes new levels of personal growth as a result of stress and change. That's why it's called SuperBetter. A key part of building happiness is developing resilience. While bouncing back from life’s challenges is important, it’s not easy. SuperBetter makes the process easier by taking you through a series of activities that help you build resilience while reducing anxiety and depression, leading to a happier life. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } XX Feeling super: SuperBetter founder Jane McGonigal The SuperBetter app has gamified the process of building happiness by creating short and simple activities that you complete as you head off on quests to build happiness-boosting skills. Completing the activities provide you with quick wins to jump-start your happiness journey. With SuperBetter you become the hero of the app, as you gain points and power by completing and tracking daily activities. Simple tasks such as taking a walk or drinking a glass of water count as a step toward your ultimate goal. You can also do it with a secret identity and superhero story of your choosing. The SuperBetter lets you collect power-ups on your quests, fight off bad guys, and get help from allies. One of our best happiness apps: SuperBetter Another unique thing about the SuperBetter app is that it's heavily science-backed. A study by the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia found that when people played SuperBetter for 30 days, their mood improved, symptoms of anxiety and depression decreased, and self-belief to achieve goals increased. So, a recap of why you should use the SuperBetter app: Gamified and fun; Helps you to build resilience, adopt new habits, improve skills and strengthen relationships; Research has shown it has positive results. 4. HAPPY Android: free iPhone: free OK, call us biased, but we really think our own app, HAPPY, is also one of the best happiness apps on the market too! One of the most significant factors to impact our happiness is a sense of community, and that's what HAPPY, our own well-being app, focuses on. Many of the apps on this list aim to improve our mental health, foster resilience and actively build our capacity to live happier lives by offering concrete personal exercises such as gratitude journals, mindfulness exercises, creating healthy habits, etc. These are all practical measures which we at happiness.com highly recommend. However, they are primarily done in solitude and through introspection. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } The HAPPY app makes use of the key feature of the happiness.com platform – community. It's a happiness app that allows you to be in touch with people worldwide to share your struggles and support each other. To find strength in our shared humanity, our imperfection, and our deep care for each other and the planet. HAPPY is an app that aims to build a community and to use it to elevate your well-being through: Joining a conscious, global community. Engaging in big topics and intimate conversations. Sharing common interests and new perspectives. Building mutual support through shared struggles. Everyone experiences ups and downs, but how do we master the downs skillfully? The HAPPY app facilitates a safe and mutually supportive community where tools, practices and experiences enable everyone to live happy and fulfilled lives. HAPPY: our well-being app focuses on community For example, are you awake at 3am full of anxiety? Share your struggles live on the HAPPY app, and who knows where in the world someone else will be awake who relates to your experience and has kind words of support. Maybe you are in the metro on the way to work, and you can be the person who is offering those accepting words and emotional support. The HAPPY App is the mobile addition to happiness.com: your pocketful of happiness. Making the healing power of human connection – the happiness community – accessible on your phone. 5. Happier Android: unavailable iPhone: free Happier is an Apple app on a mission: to make sure you appreciate life to the fullest. Happier app was developed by Nataly Kogan, a TEDtalk speaker who emigrated from Russia when she was young and went through hard times, escaping oppression in the Soviet Union while her family got on their feet in the Detroit projects. Allegedly, Kogan vowed to find happiness, first looking towards success and wealth to achieve it. Quite understandably, this did not lead her where she wanted, so she turned towards her father's work – science – to see what next steps she could take. Happier app: an overview of what's inside In practice, the app works by helping you to be "more present and positive throughout the day," working like a life appreciation platform, or a personal life coach. Each day it prompts you to write what you're most grateful for, be it the sun shining on your back, a moment spent with a loved one, making every stoplight on the street, or getting your favourite ice cream – you can even add pictures • JOIN US! Discover more tips on happiness with our open and inspired community • These are moments that you might not notice if not for Happier, with which you can "create, collect and share those tiny positive moments." Ways you can use it are to lift your mood, take a meditation break, or enjoy the moments that make your day happier. “Happier app works by helping you to be 'more present and positive throughout the day', working like a life appreciation platform, or even a personal life coach.” The Happier app is portable and can be used on Apple watch as well, acting as your gratitude journal. It also offers “bite-sized, expert-led courses,” to teach you more about the practice and science of happiness on which the app is based, breaching subjects like strength, calmness, and gratitude. What's more, it works as a sort of happiness social media platform, where you can connect to those around you (if you want, since sharing publicly is entirely optional) and get inspired by their gratitude posts. There's something very zen about Happier, an app which urges you to think of happiness, not like a feeling, but more like a muscle to be trained and on which you can rely on your day-to-day life. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } So, here's a recap as to why you should use the Happier app: Instead of selling you unattainable happiness, it helps you to appreciate what you already have; To keep a picture, easily updatable scrapbook on what you're most grateful for; It helps you learn more about the science behind positive psychology. 6. Yolife Android: free iPhone: free A relative newcomer into the happiness app scene, Yolife is described as 'your personal coach to live longer in good health'. Indeed, the vision of the Yolife founders is to add 15 healthy years to the lives of at least one million people in the world. And what does great health bring? Greater happiness, that's what. Signing up via log-in or Facebook, the first stage of Yolife involves completing an engaging health consultation, answering questions about your health, habits, exercise, social life and such. Your responses determine just how many extra healthy years they suggest you'll live in good health. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Love life: Yolife wants you to live longer in great health Furthermore, with each answer you give there's a scientific explanation behind it and the chance to read more. Indeed, Yolife is thoroughly research-based, using clinical studies and advisory board for input. The design is modern and sleek, with a refreshing sense of humor in the texts, too. After completing the consultation you can see how many estimated healthy years you have. What comes next is your personalized programme of activities which aims to boost those healthy years further by helping you to discover which areas you have the greatest potential to improve. The programme includes classes on subjects such as optimal sleeping conditions, the purpose of life, sex makes you live longer (!), different ways of fasting, and plenty more. “The vision of the Yolife app is to add 15 healthy years to the lives of at least one million people in the world.” Yolife co-founder Tassilo Weber has his own definition of happiness which is very much present in the app: "I'm not only an entrepreneur, I also studied philosophy and still consider myself a philosopher by heart. Therefore, the pursuit and definition of happiness has always been a major topic in my life. And that influence cannot be hidden, as you use the Yolife app. The happiness app Yolife has a sleek, smart design “There's even one full session called “A formula for happiness”. It boils down to two things: 1. Find and follow a purpose. 2. Stay healthy for as long as possible. With these two pillars in place, happiness has the best chance to thrive. As Yolife is an app that helps you to live longer in good health and guided by purpose, I consider happiness as one of the main value propositions that we intend to bring to at least one million people.” So, here's a recap as to why you should use the Yolife: Science-backed suggestions on practical life changes; Track your progress and growth Sleek, modern design and great colours; The best happiness apps: conclusions Of course, using these happiness apps alone won't be enough to change your life. Spending too much time on your smartphone – even on happiness apps – won't give you time to put what you learn on these apps into practice. Still, there is science to back up the claims behind these programs. For example, a meta-analysis of 51 “positive-interventions” like mindfulness activities, gratitude writing, and goal-setting found them to “significantly enhance well-being and decrease depressive symptoms.” More specifically, one of the main ideas behind the majority of these apps, counting your blessings, has been proven to make you happier. We invite you to try out what we think are the best happiness apps to see what works best for you, and what pushes you to do the little things that will make your life better. Let us know below in the comments which ones have helped you the most! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Learning | Mindfulness | Meditation | Coaching Written by Rae Bathgate Rae Bathgate is an American journalist based in Barcelona, where she enjoys sunlight, yoga, and bookbinding.

Life is seldom smooth-sailing. Sonia Vadlamani shares some helpful, research-backed ways that can make navigating through life obstacles a great deal easier... and even enjoyable! Life is hard sometimes, as we’re all aware. A random analysis of any given week would present the various hassles we often come across: a flat tire, an unexpected expense, a flu that puts a dent in your plans for the week, an incomplete to-do list – you get the picture. As a matter of fact, these challenges seem to multiply as we grow older. We assume we have it all under control, until we’re suddenly mired amidst one too many adversities and unforeseen hardships like major health conditions, loved ones suffering or passing away and the grief that follows, having to end a friendship, relationship breakdowns, to name but a few. RELATED: How to Protect Your Energy: 7 Science Backed Techniques I’m no stranger to the realization that life will always remain unpredictable despite all my thorough planning, and there will always be contingencies which I couldn’t have scheduled. For instance, I thought I had mapped out my plans for 2020 to the last detail, when COVID-19 pandemic struck, and changed my perspective about navigating through life events entirely. Not only did I have to cancel all my travel plans, but I lost an ailing grandfather who I nurtured a very affectionate relationship with. To add to my troubles, my gym, favorite hangout spots, friends and all social events we enjoyed became inaccessible due to the pandemic, leaving me feeling confused, restless and helpless. While I did still have plenty to be grateful for, life as I knew it had been altered dramatically, and I seemed to have no clue how to cope with such unprecedented times. However, in hindsight, it seems that like billions of other people throughout the world, I went about navigating through life and overcoming challenges with determination and resilience. Indeed, staying resilient and maintaining a positive disposition during a rough ride can prove to be cumbersome. Nevertheless, navigating through life becomes easier when we accept challenges as a chance to rise above our insecurities and fear of change. Navigating life: 10 helpful tips Sometimes, navigating through life with all its difficulties can seem like a daunting task. You may find yourself stuck with the feeling that you’re never good enough, or that life’s been unfair to you and you were cut a raw deal. Truth is, challenges arise in everyone’s lives, and no one can remain secure in their comfort zone for too long. But it’s entirely up to us as to how we go about to seek a happy, successful life. Here are ten science-backed rules to help us navigate through life’s challenges head-on, so we can lead happier, meaningful lives. 1. Be true to yourself Living in the digital era, it’s easy to get caught in the comparison trap and lose your sense of individuality sometimes. Indeed, authenticity in today’s technology-dominated times may seem like a risky move – especially when social media and other shaping forces in our lives, such as parents, teachers and peers may have told us to ‘fit in’ and conform – in order to feel a connection. As a result, we often hide our true selves due to the fear of rejection and judgment from others. Confronting – not avoiding – challenges is a key way to navigate life However, research suggests that authenticity is an integral part of happiness, and can boost one’s self-esteem, in addition to lowering stress levels. In fact, real, lasting connections are forged when we are true to ourselves. Indeed, cultivating your authentic self can seem challenging at first, but the rewards it enables you to reap – in the form of greater life satisfaction, strengthened interpersonal relationships, and a reinforced sense of purpose – make it all worth pursuing. 2. Confront challenges Life has a way of presenting us consistently with challenges that will assess our emotional mettle, be it in the form of injury, illness, loss, grief or an uncertain future. Accepting this can allow us to be fully present and relish the gifts we have in our lives this very moment, as we live each day with renewed appreciation, joy and lasting confidence in our own capabilities. “The happiest people I know are dedicated to dealing with the most difficult problems,” reveals Rosabeth M Kanter, founding chair of Harvard Advanced Leadership Initiative, and author of Think Outside The Building. In fact, Kanter suggests dividing our challenges into two categories: the ones we’re dealing with immediately, and those which give us a “chance to make a difference”. The latter helps us look at hurdles in a new light, making us better equipped for navigating through life with a sense of purpose. 3. Distinguish thoughts from fact Most of us are guilty of spending too much time ‘in our heads’ or being pre-occupied with our thoughts. According to research, humans are hardwired for negativity, which means that it’s natural for most of us to feel negative outcomes or emotions with a greater intensity than positive feelings. As a result, we end up navigating life with a penchant for overthinking, which can affect our mental health and stress levels adversely according to research. “Overcoming challenges forms an important part of navigating through life, and the ability to view a situation from a different vantage point can allow us to learn a great deal about ourselves.” To make matters worse, we often mistake overthinking for problem-solving. Whereas the truth is that rumination impacts our decision making, thus interfering with our problem-solving abilities. Instead of catastrophizing the challenges, you need to stop ruminating and embrace them as stepping-stones to personal growth. Acknowledging that you are not your thoughts will allow you to take control of your thoughts, and put a stop to the tedious mental chatter. 4. Change your perspective Stephen Joseph, professor of psychology and author of Authentic: How to Be Yourself and Why It Matters, suggests that we change our perspective and consider challenges as “an important part of growing and developing as a person”. Indeed, overcoming challenges forms an important part of navigating through life, and the ability to view a situation from a different vantage point can allow us to learn a great deal about ourselves. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed: 8 Strategies What the 12 Pillars of Well-Being Can Teach Us How to Deal With Disappointment: 8 Top Tips Instead of living in denial in your comfort zone, we can gradually tune our minds to look at adversities as learning opportunities and face them head-on when they present themselves. Stepping back to get a better perspective, taking some time to clear your mind, and approaching the situation without rushing will enable you to gain newer insights. 5. Maintain a sense of humour Life can be a bumpy ride sometimes, and stress seems unavoidable given the daily hassles we experience, such as waiting times, unpleasant interactions with co-workers, deadlines, and failed plans. However, there is no need for a serious and skeptic demeanor all the times, and a little bit of humour and playfulness can go a long way to strengthen relationships and boost happiness levels. Infusing some humour in your daily life is a great way to prime your mind for optimism and navigate life with a positive attitude. 6. Be kind to yourself We often tend to beat ourselves up when things don’t go the way we planned. However, this cycle of self-criticism and ignoring the pain we feel seldom makes us feel any better. Compare this with how you’d treat a friend with love, kindness and encouragement when they face failure. Researcher Kristin Neff suggests that channeling self-compassion during tough times is crucial for overcoming challenges with an improved sense of connectedness and emotional balance. Indeed, being kind to yourself and treating yourself with love and compassion can make navigating through life an easier, happier feat. 7. Persistence is key While everyone adapts differently to a challenge or an adverse situation, one rule that holds true for everyone is that it’s never too late to get back on track to achieve your goals. Avoid the temptation to give up – researchers suggest that deserting your purpose or circumventing your goals can be emotionally painful, possibly resulting in grief-related distress or even depression. Cultivating persistence pays off without fail, as long as you set realistic goals and continue to put efforts in the right direction. Stay persistent and focused on achieving your dreams 8. Remember happiness is a journey, not a destination You may have noticed how accomplishing goals makes us happy but only for a limited time, as we then move on to the pursuit of happiness in the form of the next milestone. Psychologists refer to this tendency as the ‘happiness trap’, wherein one maintains an unrealistic purview of happiness, in addition to constantly comparing their happiness levels with that of others. “Being kind to yourself and treating yourself with love and compassion can make navigating through life an easier, happier feat.” However, researchers and philosophers stress the importance of viewing happiness as a journey not a destination that needs to be chased relentlessly. Indeed, it’s important to take the time to pause and smell some roses along the way. Navigating through life gets easier when we view happiness as a choice we can make consciously, and cultivating happy habits that can raise our well-being levels in a consistent manner. 9. Remain thoughtful, kind and gracious Difficult times warrant the need for human kindness more than ever, and it helps to treat others the same way we want to be treated. Expressing thankfulness, apologizing genuinely, complimenting others without an agenda, and offering support and encouragement in times of need helps strengthen our connection with others. Developing a reputation for being grateful, compassionate and kind can help you build lasting relationships that you can depend on whilst navigating life’s difficulties. 10. Devise and uphold your personal boundaries Personal boundaries are a measure of your self-esteem and help ensure that you aren’t vulnerable to being used or mistreated by others around you. Devising and establishing clear, strong boundaries in place helps foster trust and loyalty, thereby strengthening relationships. Healthy boundaries are not just about being able to express your views and needs assertively but are also helpful for navigating through life in a more efficient manner. Takeaway: navigating life As we all know from experience, life has its ups and downs. Most of also realize that we seek happiness, meaningful connections and fulfillment of our purpose as we navigate through it. Practising mindfulness, being accountable for your words and actions, developing an attitude of gratitude, and being present instead of worrying about the future can make navigating life easier – and more importantly – enjoyable. • Main image: shutterstock/fizkes happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Compassion | Friendship Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Humans aren't meant to be alone all the time: connecting as part of a meaningful community is important for our mental well-being. Dee Marques discovers seven ways in which community belonging can benefit both you and those around you. Humans are social beings, and the need to belong is deeply ingrained in our nature. That’s why since the beginning of time humans have been drawn to creating their own communities. Today, important communities continue to be formed around different shared interests of characteristics, such as religious or spiritual groups, professional associations, neighbourhoods, volunteer groups or sports clubs. In fact, belonging to a group or community we can identify with helps us develop a stronger sense of personal and collective identity. It can also give a boost to our self-esteem and to our willingness to take on the world and make our dreams happen. Being part of a community is one of the 10 main keys to happiness. But the importance of community goes beyond that. So, just why is community important? To answer the question we can look at what happens if we don’t have community we can call our own. Since we’re inherently sociable beings, feeling disconnected from others can deeply affect our self perception and emotional health. Litter picking is a powerful community action shutterstock/SpeedKingz Indeed, some studies have linked the emotional strain of loneliness caused by social isolation to physical illness, including sleep disorders, heart disease and a weakened immune system. A Public Health study done in Canada even ranked social isolation as a higher risk factor for premature death. • JOIN US! Sign-up to happiness.com and connect with our caring community • Having said that, the past year or so has been a strange one for social interaction and personal relationships. On the one hand, lockdown measures and work-from-home arrangements have made it harder to meet and connect with others, so feelings of isolation and loneliness are on the rise. However, that hasn't undermined the importance of community. On the contrary, these changes have prompted many people to reconsider the significance of neighborhood feeling, bringing the concept of meaningful belonging back into the spotlight. “Belonging to a group or community we can identify with helps us develop a stronger sense of personal and collective identity. It can also give a boost to our self-esteem.” For example, during the past few months we have seen communities coming together with fundraising initiatives to help those struggling financially or otherwise. Others have learnt to sew just to be able to make PPE – such as face masks – and delivered them to those who needed them the most. The importance of community: 7 benefits it offers To understand why neighbourhood action and community is meaningful and beneficial to our well-being, we can look at seven ways in which belonging to one can help us. 1. Support and safety Living with uncertainty has become the norm during the COVID pandemic. This has made it more important than ever to have a strong support network in place. Indeed, one of the main reasons behind the importance of community is that it can help fight feelings of hopelessness and give us the certainty that we are safe when surrounded by our community. Furthermore, the benefits go both ways, since supporting others also gives us a boost. 2. Connection and belonging Togetherness is so central to our experience as humans; that feeling we are part of something bigger can help give meaning to our lives. Finding others with the same values, interests, and world views makes us realise that we’re not alone and makes us feel valued. Indeed, belonging highlights why community is necessary: being accepted into a group gives us a stronger sense of self and can help us cope with negative experiences and feelings. 3. Influence Sometimes we need an extra push to stop us from falling into unhealthy habits or thoughts. Experiencing the positive influence of like-minded people is another reason behind the importance of community. Studies confirm that our overall health is partly determined by our ability to look after ourselves, but sometimes we simply don’t feel capable of it. Communities can influence us and motivate us to invest in our well-being and to bring positive changes to our lives. MORE LIKE THIS: Happy habits – 12 ways to boost your joy levels daily What is Pebbling? What Penguins Can Teach Us About Stronger Relationships Why is Volunteering Important? Here are 7 Benefits it Offers 4. Sharing Sharing activities, ideas and feelings reinforces not only our sense of self, but also adds worth and value to the community. Indeed, the more the merrier applies in this case! That’s not to mention the huge beneficial effect sharing can have on mental health: higher engagement, positive emotions, and empowerment are only some of the benefits. Sharing is caring. Support is an important community action shutterstock/Daisy Daisy 5. Learning Communities are usually built around common interests, but that doesn’t mean they’re homogeneous. We can still find people within them who have different views, experiences, or beliefs, and learning from them can help us reach insights that we may not have reached on our own. 6. Acceptance Developing community bonds with others who have different views may be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to practise acceptance. I had a personal breakthrough when I read this article and understood that acceptance doesn’t necessarily imply agreement. “One of the main reasons behind the importance of community is that it can help fight feelings of hopelessness and give us the certainty that we are safe.” This valuable lesson can bring peace and relief. And there’s another side to acceptance: self-acceptance. Community belonging helps us accept that sometimes we’re strong and sometimes we’re vulnerable and that we need the support of others to avoid unnecessary emotional struggles and pain. RELATED: What Is An Ecovillage? Sustainable Communities That Live And Thrive 7. More connections, more chances of success The importance of community goes beyond the personal sphere and extends to professional development. Since the pandemic begun we’ve seen a stronger focus on supporting local businesses, so this is a good place to start networking and building strong relationships. You never know where that could take your business idea or professional life. The importance of community action Communities are not abstract entities, so practical actions are needed to really take the importance of community further and make a difference. This is the basis of so-called community action initiatives. In fact, these are so important to society that many local authorities now have dedicated resources and invest in community building programmes. • JOIN US! Share your life story and challenges at happiness.com and make new friends • An example is the Community Organisers initiative, launched in the UK to give communities the tools to identify and solve local challenges by bringing everyone together. The Community Organisers Stafford group was aware that many people struggled to make ends meet and set up a social supermarket that was supported by local shop owners, grocery stores and volunteers. A young food bank volunteer shutterstock/HASPhotos Surplus food was donated and then sold at discounted prices that even those on a low income could afford. In just a few months, the programme was feeding more than 100 local families. It helped stigmatise financial hardship as well as remind residents that the community is there for them. On that note, it’s essential to remember that community action doesn’t need to involve grand gestures. Sometimes the best way of contributing to our community is to give: be it time, money, or kindness to others with small daily gestures. One thing is for sure: if we look around us with the intention to help, we will find ways of doing it, and in the process we will be contributing to making our community stronger. We can all do something to build meaningful human relationships and benefit from the healing power that comes with a sense of community and a richer perspective. So, why not set the goal of developing deeper bonds with others in our immediate community? Today is a good day to starting looking for or creating your own network and to begin to experience the importance and power of community. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Compassion | Friendship | Charity | Community living Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Laughing during or after sex is more common than you'd think. And while you may get a fit of the giggles when something goes wrong, laughter during or after sex also signifies an incredibly satisfying sexual experience. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains... Sex is always a unique experience. What it will be like depends on an array of factors. Whom with and when are you sharing this encounter? What kind of mood set the stage for the act — gentle, romantic, passionate, or is it sex after a fight? Finally, there are different types of lovers. Some people are shy and quiet, and some loud and full of confidence. There are those who like to submit. Others allow themselves to be passionately dominant or benevolently aggressive. Some play roles and test ways to get satisfaction. And some people laugh during or after sex. In this article I'll look into the relationship between sex and laughter. I'll review current research and explain why you or your partner may have an uncontrollable need for laughing during sex — or afterwards — and why it is perfectly normal. Why do some people laugh during and after sex? Laughter accompanies us at every step of a romance. When we first meet a person we like, we tend to laugh loudly and signal interest. Research has revealed that, by doing so, we send a “this is play” message in an uncertain situation. Laughter brings us closer to our partners throughout the relationship. Everyone knows what joy in a relationship feels like. When you joke around, smile a lot, and laugh, it means you are happy together. In fact, a study proved that the amount of time you spend laughing with your partner is directly associated with the quality of the relationship. Therefore, laughter during sex can be seen as a continuation of the good feeling you have with your partner. Also, it may mean that you are in a good relationship with yourself. But how so, exactly? Laughter during sex brings partners closer Laughing the awkward moments off A recent study revealed that people who are fine with laughing at themselves might enjoy better relationships. The ability to laugh at yourself and share this laughter with others can even boost your sexual satisfaction. What is the mechanism behind this association? People who love to make fun of themselves tend to be more confident and feel better in their skin. So, laughter during sex means, basically, that you are more relaxed in relationships and sure of yourself. MORE LIKE THIS: What Playfulness Can Do For Your Relationship What is Pebbling? What Penguins Can Teach Us About Stronger Relationships Want a Happy Sex Life? Here Are the 4 Key Secrets Even more precisely, we all know that embarrassing incidents happen during sex. Sometimes, we have a snowball’s chance in Hell of looking as elegant, confident and alluring as we intended. Whether you get stuck trying to take off tight clothes, fall off the bed, pass wind, or try a pose you have zero experience with, 'mistakes' will happen. The entire experience will not become a mortifying event when you can laugh off those embarrassing moments. The chemical foundations of laughter with sex The science behind laughing during or laughter after sex can be summarised as follows — when you are happy and pleased, you act accordingly. In layman’s terms — when sex is great, the elation can naturally be followed by laughter. Sex impacts (among other hormones and neurotransmitters) the secretion of oxytocin. Oxytocin is associated with many functions in both sexes. It helps during labour and has a role in breastfeeding. Another function of oxytocin is related to the tend-and-befriend response, which is, in short, the opposite of flight-or-fight. It is behaviour more typical of women. However, oxytocin helps us connect with others in general, regardless of sex. Finally, oxytocin has been shown to influence sexual pleasure. “When your body is filled with oxytocin during intercourse, it is natural that you might laugh. The same chemical explanation can be applied to laughing after sex. It is simply the continuation of pleasure and cheerfulness.” Because of the connection between oxytocin, orgasm, love, bonding, sexual pleasure, and lower levels of stress and pain, scientists are now calling it the hormone of love. Therefore, when your body is filled with oxytocin during intercourse, it is natural that you might feel the need to laugh. The same chemical explanation can be applied to laughing after sex. It is simply the continuation of pleasure and cheerfulness. Why do some people not laugh during sex? Sometimes, we think of sex as anything but funny. We want to impress, look seductive, and feel secure and adored. In short, sex is can often be quite stressful, even though it is meant to be anything but that. Sex is, potentially, an arena for all our insecurities to come out. One study looked into how attachment styles relate to sexual satisfaction. The results determined that people who had insecure attachments reported sexual dissatisfaction. What is more, when men had an anxious attachment, their female partners were dissatisfied. When women were avoidant, their male partners were not pleased. Overall, when people do not feel relaxed and confident enough, they might have a hard time enjoying intercourse. Laughter during sex is unlikely to happen. 5 ways laughter and sex are connected On the other hand, when you incorporate laughter into your sexual life, you are blending two phenomena that naturally go hand in hand. Why? Because they are very similar in terms of their effect on the body. Both laughter and sex can alleviate anxiety. As discussed earlier, oxytocin and endorphins, the happiness hormones, are released during sex and laughter. These hormones can help you feel relaxed and overcome anxieties more easily. Furthermore, laughter and sex both stimulate your immune system. WebMD reports that several studies found having sex once or twice a week is related to higher levels of antibodies in your bloodstream. Similarly, laughter stimulates your immune system and has positive effects on natural killer cell cytotoxicity. It could be argued, then, that laughter after sex doubles the benefits. Indeed, laughter and sex can make us fit and healthy. Both can be considered exercise, in a way. Apart from other beneficial effects of both activities on our physical and mental health, sex and joking around burns calories. A study determined that 10–15 minutes of laughter per day could increase your calories expenditure by 2–10 kcal. Laughter and sex also leads to hormonal balance. Whether you are laughing or having sex (or laughing after sex), your cortisol and adrenalin levels drop. Researchers are even suggesting the use of laughter therapy instead of pharmacological means of addressing stress-induced hormonal disbalance. The overall workings of both playfulness and sexual pleasure lead to better hormonal balance. Laughter and sex change our moods and thoughts for the better. Overall, we can conclude that both laughter and sex can help us feel better, more optimistic, and more peaceful. They can help ease tension and reset our minds when we get too wrapped up in our own thoughts and fears. And laughter after sex is the winning combination for a great mood. How laughter can strengthen relationships Playfulness is a desirable trait, regardless of gender. Researchers who study the role of playfulness in romance found that when women are full of life in that way, men see youth — regardless of age. On the other hand, a playful man will be perceived as non-aggressive by women. These are traits men and women seek in the opposite sex when they are choosing their long-term partners. However, the role of laughter and playfulness (including laughing during sex and laughter after sex) does not end at the point of a beginning of a relationship. There is an abundance of research revealing that laughter can strengthen relationships at different stages. Stay playful and enjoy everything about sex shutterstock.com/fizkes What is it about playfulness that helps us feel good in relationships? A 2019 study explored how different forms of playfulness might relate to relationship satisfaction. Over 200 couples were surveyed. The findings confirmed that two kinds of playfulness directly led to higher levels of satisfaction with one’s relationship. The first is other-directed playfulness. This is when you enjoy playful interactions with others use playfulness to ease tension in social situations or to cheer others up. The other is intellectual playfulness. Such playfulness comes to play when you prefer complexity over simplicity, enjoy play of words, or playing things through in your mind. “When your body is filled with oxytocin during intercourse, it is natural that you might laugh. The same chemical explanation can be applied to laughing after sex. It is simply the continuation of pleasure and cheerfulness.” Playfulness also plays a role in sexual satisfaction. Metz and McCarthy, researchers in the field of sex and related psychological factors, determined that being playful can prevent monotony in your sex life. They say that people chase great sex in the wrong directions, listen to the wrong sources, and get caught up in sexual “hype”. The focus on perfectionism fuels performance anxiety and undermine healthy, satisfying sex. Therefore, add playfulness to your sex life. Was there anything comical about the intercourse? Do joke about it (in a sensitive manner, of course). Laughing after sex will ease the tension and bring you closer. How can we get more laughter into our relationships? One theoretical model, empirically confirmed and also very intuitive, could provide advice. According to its principles, when we are playful in a relationship, this causes positive emotions. Positive emotions, expectedly, make us feel more content with our relationship. However, who are people who are playful? The confident ones. Yes, self-esteem and a love for humour make you feel confident enough to act silly at times and be full of beans. Takeaway: laugh and love Sex is meant to be fun. However, modern culture puts too much pressure on the act. We see unrealistic bodies, positions and ambience everywhere. From TV shows to pornographic material, we are bombarded by how “the perfect” sexual intercourse ought to look. As a result, we get too stressed and focus on the wrong things. Remember, sex is about two people making a connection. To have a genuine relationship with someone, you need to be authentic. This means laughing during sex if you feel like it. As long as you are not mocking your partner, laughter during sex can only add to the beauty of the act. So, do not shy away from laughing after sex and creating a lasting feeling of closeness with your partner. • Main image: shutterstock.com/Rawpixel.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Sexuality | Empathy | Trust Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Is the intuitive thought process reliable, and can we quantify it? Sonia Vadlamani discusses forms of intuitive thinking and why implementing these can help us make better decisions. Perceiving an important lesson or a mysterious insight without any logical thought or reasoning being utilized –also known as intuitive thinking – has been prevalent in us humans since time immemorial. “There can be as much value in the blink of an eye as in months of rational analysis,” claims author Malcolm Gladwell. As a matter of fact, we often apply intuition alongside rationality, logical reasoning, and facts, while we are assessing a situation, even if we are unaware of it. What exactly is intuition? Intuition refers to responses or feelings that do not arise from deliberate reasoning or conscious thinking. The subconscious brain stores lessons and findings from our past experiences and attempts to recognize and retrieve these thought patterns in similar situations. These learnings are often lightning-fast and not logical at the outset but seem to occur from a deep-seated knowledge. “Intuition involves a sense of knowing without knowing how one knows,” states Dr Seymour Epstein, Professor Emeritus in Psychology at University of Massachusetts. Also known as a ‘gut feeling’ or ‘hunch’, intuition can play a crucial role in day-to-day choices as well as complex decisions, so that aunt with an uncanny foresight for predicting a tragedy or the friend who sometimes can spot incoming trouble when she meets your love interest, may in fact be relying on their intuition to make these decisions. RELATED: 7 ways to tap into your intuition Relying on intuition has saved me from physical harm and mental distress many a time. A few years ago I was returning with a group of friends from a road trip spanning several thousand miles. We debated whether to keep driving through the night to cover more distance, or to halt at an inn, so we’d be rested and refreshed when we started driving again in the morning. I usually rush through the return journey as I start missing home, but curiously my gut told me to avoid it this once. “Don’t drive tonight” was the specific answer I was hearing from within, and though surprised, I heeded it nevertheless. Intuitive thinking is our inner 'gut feeling' I didn’t quite understand the need to take a break in this manner, but somehow managed to convince my friends to do the same. In the morning, when we started driving afresh after a good night’s rest and a nourishing breakfast, we witnessed a massive accident on the bridge which was the only way out of the town. A sleep-deprived driver had tragically driven a bus off the bridge into the river the previous night, causing a traffic mayhem which had begun to clear only in the morning. If we had driven through the night, we’d be exactly there at the time of the accident. While we felt extremely sorry for those who’d been in the mishap, I was incredibly glad I listened to my inner voice. Intuitive thinking and cultures Interestingly, one’s tendency to trust their intuitive thought and the context it’s used for is warped in cultural and geographical influences. According to Gerd Gigerenzer, director at Max Planck Institute for Human Development, intuitive thinking is considered somewhat inferior to rational thinking and logical deduction in the North American and South Korean subcontinents. In contrast, a study by Emma E. Buchtel et al revealed that East Asians tend to favor intuitive reasoning more as compared to those from other regions in the world. In Japan, inner intuitive thought is encouraged as the primary reasoning method from a tender age and is honed with the guidance of masters. • JOIN US! Sign-up and connect with a caring, curious and spiritual community • Also, some religions value intuitive reasoning more than others. Religions like Hinduism and Buddhism inherently encourage intuitive reasoning, thus instilling personal qualities which help build authentic self, like awareness, mindfulness, staying in the present moment and meditation practices, etc. is prioritized. Researchers claim that we begin to develop and utilize intuition as early as from the age of six, when we are still in the second stage of development, also known as the stage of concrete operations. According to the Truine Brain theory, intuition may arise from near the pineal gland situated in the prefrontal cortex area in the brain, which regulates our emotions or affective system, in addition to granting us lessons or insights with inputs from morality and intuition. “Some religions value intuitive reasoning more than others. Hinduism and Buddhism inherently encourage intuitive reasoning, thus instilling personal qualities helping to build your authentic self.” Interestingly, while intuitive thought doesn’t really originate in the gut, the presence of a wide range of neurotransmitter microbes in the gut make it possible for us to register our emotional experiences in the form of gastrointestinal distress. This gut-brain connection enables us to often feel emotions like anger, fear and excitement, etc, in the stomach area, which is why we sometimes call intuitive thought as our “gut feeling”. The four types of intuitive thinking Researchers have theorized four kinds of intuitive thinking, each distinct and unique yet easily identifiable in most situations: 1. Mental intuitive thinking Mental intuitive thought suggests one’s ability to find the solution for a problem, without the need for deliberation or detailed analysis. This intuitive skill is commonly seen or ideal for professions which require quick decisions to be made, like firefighters, negotiation specialists, etc. In fact, the US Office of Naval Research devised an extensive study to investigate the scope of “spidey-sense” or mental intuitive thinking to enable naval officers to make quick and efficient decisions in high-pressure and chaotic circumstances. Likewise, seasoned stockbrokers and financial wizards value their mental intuitive abilities for recognizing favorable market patterns and making winning trading decisions, a skill they mostly attribute to years of experience and discipline. 2. Emotional intuitive thinking Emotional intuition refers to one’s ability to immediately sense someone’s emotional state and personality traits. Michelle Despres, Intuitive Medium therapist and the author of Intuitively You: Evolve Your Life and Mend the World, describes this feeling as “clairsentience” or the “Intuitive Act of Clear Sensing”. A keener emotional intuitive quotient could mean higher empathy levels towards others, which means that in addition to sensing one’s energy vibrations and understanding how they’re feeling, one can also view a situation from their perspective. Intuition relies more on the heart than the head shutterstock/BRO.vector 3. Psychic intuitive thinking Psychic intuitive thinking involves overcoming a problem during a crisis or choosing the best path forward in a difficult situation without putting any deliberate mental effort into it. Psychic intuitive thought can be useful for preventing negative influences, or in determining your social dynamics. 4. Spiritual intuitive thinking Spiritual intuition concerns one’s own self-awareness and experience rather than fact-based reasoning. This kind of intuition relates to one’s connection with the higher dimension and elevated awareness, and is closely related to the principles of Buddhism, which renders it an almost supernatural characteristic. “While intuitive input can be recognized with ease, it is difficult to describe and quantify it. However, the role of intuition in decision-making cannot be denied.” Research states that encouraging intuitive thought and relying on it can lighten our overall cognitive load and reduce the response time, allowing us to make decisions swiftly and more accurately. While intuition facilitates survival by offering quick responses in a situation, it can rely heavily on “cultural capital” or learning inputs specific to our cultural, political, moral, and social landscape. Therefore, it is imperative to counter intuitive thought with rational inputs to avoid bias or inaccuracy in our decision-making process. With sufficient practice over time and by putting your trust in intuitive thought process, it is possible to tap into your intuition to improve your decision-making prowess as well as to boost creativity. Is intuitive thinking measurable? Intuition played an important role in cognition for the greatest philosophers like Plato and Aristotle. Plato believed that intuition, be it supernatural or rational, entails the immediate perception of ideas. Albert Einstein, one of the greatest physicists known to the world, has been quoted extensively as stating, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant.” Einstein maintained that his groundbreaking theory of relativity was a result of his intuitive thinking, even as it faced critical objection from the scientific community then. Despite extensive acceptance of the existence of intuition and its effect on decision-making, most researchers have largely been unable to quantify it. However, a recent study by Joel Pearson et al revealed that the impact of emotional intuition over one’s choices could be measured and quantified. Pearson concludes that intuitive thought or “nonconscious emotional information” can improve the quality of decision making, in addition to improving the speed of decision-making and accurate results. Takeaway: intuitive thinking Indeed, intuition is a complex phenomenon as it is embedded in knowledge and lessons drawn from past experience. While intuitive input can be recognized with ease, it is difficult to describe and quantify it accurately. However, the role of intuition in decision-making cannot be denied. When applied carefully in conjunction with logical reasoning, intuition can offer an extensive competitive edge for individuals, as well as organizations. • Main image: shutterstock/Max4e Photo happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Dream Interpretation | Positive Psychology | Breathwork Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

People who spent more time in nature these past two years have been happier and less stressed. By Jill Suttie on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. Living through the COVID-19 pandemic has had a severe impact on people’s mental health and well-being. Restricted movement, loss and isolation have led to increases in depression, anxiety disorders, stress, sleep disorders and more. The effects have been even harsher for teens. How can we help protect our well-being during this particularly difficult time? Though a public health response is definitely called for, one way we might try to help ourselves this year is spending more time immersed in nature. In the last decade or so, research on the health benefits of nature experiences has exploded, confirming what many people know intuitively – that green spaces are good for mental well-being, whether you’re walking outdoors, looking at beautiful views, or even just seeing videos of nature. This is definitely the case for me. Even before the pandemic hit, I’d realized that I was not spending as much time outdoors as I wanted to – even though I knew from personal experience and science that being in nature made me happier, kinder and more creative. So, in January 2020, I began taking daily walks in the hills near my home, enjoying the awe-inspiring beauty while giving my mind a rest and my body a workout. Once lockdowns began, I continued my regular walks and found it helped me feel less stressed, in a better mood, and more productive. Apparently, I’m not alone. According to new research, nature has helped many people with their mental health during the pandemic. Here are some of the ways nature experiences might benefit us during this fraught time. Nature reduces stress Perhaps the most robust finding on the psychological benefits of nature is that being in green spaces reduces our stress. Experiments have shown that people who walk in a nature area – a forest or park, for example – feel less stress than those who walk in an urban setting, even when the exercise they’re getting is the same. In fact, some countries have introduced the concept of “forest bathing” to fight the effects of modern urban living. During the pandemic, many people have had to restrict their movement, making it harder to get outside. But those who could get out definitely benefitted from it, while those who couldn’t still fared better from just having views of nature. Less stress, more smiles shutterstock/Prostock-studio One study looked at how much time people spent outdoors before and during the pandemic and whether they increased or decreased their outdoor time. The researchers found that people who had maintained or increased their time outside were less stressed and had greater psychological well-being than those who’d decreased their time. RELATED: Forest bathing – 6 science-backed benefits Another study conducted during Israel‘s lockdown found that spending time outside – or even just having a natural view from one’s window – reduced stress and increased happiness. This was true even if people had suffered economically because of the pandemic – another stressor on top of an already stressful situation. A recent study suggests that one reason for this might be that being in a green space affects us physiologically, especially places rich in plant life that contain bodies of water or uneven terrain. People who were monitored while passing through green spaces were shown to sweat less, breathe better, and have greater heart rate variability (all signs of lower stress or better recovery from stress). These studies and others point to the conclusion that nature experiences are good for managing stress. Nature helps us feel restored Since the pandemic began, many of us are spending a lot more time online in Zoom meetings or Zoom classes. While it’s great to have the technology available for connecting with others and getting work done, it can be exhausting to stare at a screen for so long and try to stay focused. That’s why it can help to give ourselves an attention break by getting outdoors. Recovery from information overload (online or otherwise), sometimes called attention restoration, is one of the main ways that being in a natural or green setting gives our minds a rest. “Perhaps the most robust finding on the psychological benefits of nature is that being in green spaces reduces our stress.” After taking that break, our brains may be sharper. For example, exposure to nature helps us perform better on tasks requiring attention and can even lead to greater creative problem-solving. Even a simulated nature experience helped people recover from overstimulation and do better at cognitive tests. Why is nature restorative? No one knows for sure. But a recent neuroscience study compared the brain activity of people spending time in a wooded garden and a traffic island and found that being in the natural setting allowed their brains to synchronize alpha and theta brain waves (related to calm and daydreaming, respectively). This may explain why nature induces a kind of relaxed attention that provides people with a respite from overstimulation – something we could all use these days! Nature helps stave off depression, anxiety and physical complaints Nature may help us improve our psychological health during COVID for other reasons, too – by staving off depression, anxiety and physical complaints (like not getting enough sleep). In a study in Spain and Portugal conducted between March and May 2020, people reported on how much access they had to green spaces like private yards, views of nature, and public parks, and on their stress levels, physical complaints, and psychological distress. After taking into account how much COVID lockdowns had affected people’s employment, income, and housing situation, researchers found that people accessing nature more had lower psychological distress and fewer physical complaints than those with less access. Similarly, a study in Tokyo found that people who were locked down during the pandemic were less depressed, anxious, and lonely, and happier and more satisfied with their lives, if they spent time in green spaces (like parks) or had a view of greenery from their window. Nature makes us happier with our lives The Greater Good Science Center has joined an editorial partnership with SSIR, The Wellbeing Project, India Development Review, and The Skoll Foundation to explore the important, but often overlooked, connection between inner well-being and effective social change. This article is part of that partnership. This may be particularly relevant for groups most affected by COVID isolation – including adolescents. A recent study found that teens who spent more time outdoors during the pandemic fared better on many mental health indicators than those who spent less time outdoors – especially if they lived in an urban community. One reason nature might improve our mental health is that it helps us let go of endless thought loops about what’s wrong with the world – what psychologists call “rumination,” which is tied to depression, anxiety, and poor sleep. A recent study found that participants who spent more time interacting with nature in some way – for example, walking outside, biking, gardening, playing games or sports, or hanging out in a park – ruminated less, and in turn experienced more positive feelings and fewer negative feelings. That’s probably why a recent review of several experimental studies found that nature-based recreational activities – like walking in parks, hiking, rafting, or backpacking – have positive effects on our mental health, including making us less depressed and anxious. Nature makes us happier and more satisfied with life If nature experiences decrease stress, restore our depleted brains, and reduce rumination and other symptoms of psychological distress, they should also make us happier. Many past studies – including some of those mentioned above – have found this to be true. In one large study, researchers used smartphones to collect data from more than 20,000 people in real time comparing how they felt at different points during their day and using GPS to determine where they were. The researchers found that, overall, people felt happier when they were outdoors in green or natural spaces compared to urban spaces, regardless of the weather, activity, or who was with them. Another study surveyed people living in Puget Sound, Washington, and found that they were more satisfied with life if they engaged with nature more. “In a review of many studies, people more connected to nature tended to have more positive feelings, vitality and life satisfaction.” This may be good news for people who’ve been hit particularly hard by the pandemic – including our essential workers. In a recent study, a group of 71 health care workers and police in China were randomly assigned to watch short video clips of either natural scenes or urban scenes every day for five days, reporting their well-being over time. Those who watched the nature scenes felt more positive feelings and fewer negative feelings and greater well-being overall than those watching urban scenes. In a review of many studies, researchers found that people more connected to nature (seeing themselves as part of nature and caring about the natural world) tended to have more positive feelings, vitality and life satisfaction compared to those who were less connected. All of this and more suggests that we can be happier and healthier if we maintain our connection to nature somehow during the pandemic. Whether we garden, have a view of nature out our window, visit nearby parks, or even just watch a nature video, we can help ourselves deal with the stresses and strains of COVID isolation by giving ourselves and our kids a dose of “Vitamin N.” Take it from me, you’ll be glad you did. • Main image: shutterstock/Halfpoint happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Forest bathing | Self-care | Better sleep Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish them with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

Sometimes the obstacles we face in life paralyze us, leaving us trapped. Stanislava Puač Jovanović shares eight tips on how to overcome challenges and restart our lives. Even though many of us hope for a carefree life, it just will not happen. Challenges will always be on our path. Sometimes, it may seem as if the walls ahead are simply too high to surmount. Yet, overcoming challenges is a part of how we learn and grow. Indeed, obstacles give us an opportunity to become the best versions of ourselves. History is filled with examples of people who learned how to trounce impediments and develop psychologically from the process. Take Demosthenes, for example. He is now recognised as the greatest of ancient Greek orators. Nonetheless, when he was young, he had a severe speech impediment. He overcame this barrier through a self-designed, disciplined practice. Einstein is another famous example of how overcoming obstacles can result in greatness. Apart from not speaking until he was three, he constantly faced doubt and under-appreciation by adults throughout his childhood and youth. Still, he found a way to develop his talents and become one of the most recognised names in human history. In this article I'll explain how you can perceive overcoming challenges as a means of psychological growth. I'll explain why we need to fight the obstacles we face — and why we need to do it adaptively. Finally, I'll give you eight science-based tips for overcoming obstacles in a way that helps you grow and become braver and more confident. Why you need to overcome obstacles The examples from the introduction illustrate something that is called overcompensation in psychology. When we have an actual or perceived deficit of a sort, we will usually try to offset it by developing it into a particular forte. This strong point will then serve as a counterweight to the shortfall. Overcompensation means going above and beyond what is necessary. Demosthenes could have merely fixed the speech impediment and lived an average life. But no. He became the greatest orator. Examples of overcompensation reveal how overcoming challenges opens the path to psychological growth in life. Albeit going that far is not necessary for every obstacle we face, we must say that avoidance is usually maladaptive (or unhealthy). When we face hurdles, we are presented with a choice. We can either commit to overcoming challenges — or to failing or stagnating. Here’s why. When you avoid dealing with difficulties, you risk experiencing a range of adverse emotions. Some of the most common ones are anger (for your aspirations remaining unfulfilled), guilt (because you know that you did not try hard enough), or envy (when you witness others getting what they want). Support from friends is a key factor in overcoming obstacles shutterstock/Viktoria Kurpas You are also bound to become stressed because problems rarely just disappear. Avoidance of difficulties, research reveals, leads to a diminishing sense of control. In turn, your psychological well-being and mental health will decline. Ruminations are excessive, repetitive thoughts that make it impossible to think productively about anything else. Rumination is tied to avoiding dealing with different life issues. RELATED: How to stop ruminating with these 3 techniques Self-doubt, anxiety and depression could come as a result of continual failure to achieve goals. Even though it might feel good to rationalise the reasons why you did not realise your dreams at first, empirical findings reveal that this defence mechanism is associated with emotional disorders. Therefore, even though overcoming challenges may feel scary at times, it is vital for your well-being. As you progress through hurdles on your path towards attaining goals, you are simultaneously growing as a person. You develop self-confidence, learn to move beyond self-indulgence, and develop adaptive responses to whatever life throws your way. Overcoming challenges: 8 tips How we respond to complications is highly individualised. It could be affected by our past experiences, mental habits, as well as our personalities. Seeking and overcoming challenges seems embedded in some people’s temperament and personality structure. Nonetheless, whether we are naturally geared towards adventure or not, we will hit an impediment here and there. Overcoming obstacles will be easier if you incorporate some of the following tips on productive coping with challenges. 1. Analyse the problem well It may seem obvious, but the first step to overcoming challenges without difficulty is understanding the problem ahead. Still, many of us fail to approach the issue analytically. You may be amazed by how often we succumb to apprehension, avoidance — or daydreaming and unsubstantiated optimism, on the other hand — instead of scrutinising the problem critically. Therefore, examine where the problem truly lies. Is it a real or perceived obstacle? Which aspect is the most important one? In what order do you need to tackle the elements of the difficulty? What is it that you can and cannot impact? What resources do you need — new knowledge and skills, others’ help, time, or determination? 2. Consider it an opportunity, not a threat A common obstacle to successfully overcoming challenges is our mindset. I will be the first to admit that I'm not the type of person who goes about looking for challenges and adventures. Even more concretely, I used to feel threatened by any new and tricky situation. Still, what I found very useful is changing my perspective. What may not come naturally to you could be developed through practice. “The first step to overcoming challenges without difficulty is understanding the problem ahead. Still, many of us fail to approach the issue analytically.” Those who enjoy challenges — and thrive facing hitches — see every obstacle as an opportunity to become greater, better, different. You, too, can train your mind to think of hindrances as a chance to learn something new and evolve rather than to suffer. 3. Examine and dismantle your self-doubts Overcoming obstacles is often made more difficult by your own unhelpful thoughts, especially if you're used to avoiding facing challenges. When you look at your records and see but a few instances in which you fought a problem head-on, it's easy to succumb to self-doubt. Doubting your abilities, or even loathing yourself for lack thereof, will get you nowhere. What you need to do is to examine and knock down your lack of faith in your skills. Where does it come from? What thought comes to your mind when you anticipate trouble? How does it make you feel? How realistic is such a belief? Could you think about the situation differently (hint — yes, you could)? 4. Keep a record of your past successes One helpful way to deal with self-doubt more effectively is to document one’s successes. Many people tend to overestimate their shortcomings. At the same time, they underestimate how well they can address problems. As a result, their self-perception gets distorted, making them blind to their abilities. Make a CV of your past accomplishments. Do not hold back but praise yourself for everything you achieved. Remember the times when you overcame snags with triumph. What qualities did you need to mobilise to overcome challenges? Write them all down. And then, come to this “CV” whenever you feel a lack of confidence creeping on you. 5. Make a solid plan Once you are clearer on where the problem lies, what unhelpful thoughts might be hindering your success, and which talents you can rally to help you in overcoming challenges, it's time to plan how to do it. In other words, you are highly unlikely to accomplish your goals if you do not combine a belief in yourself with a solid action plan. Define the goal and communicate it to those who need to be involved. Make a step-by-step map of action that is clear and easy to follow. Make sure there are tangible steps and smaller objectives on the way to the final goal. Measure the results — and celebrate them, too. 6. Assemble a circle of support Overcoming obstacles is much easier when you have someone to lean on. Social support has been confirmed to be one of the crucial factors in psychological well-being over and over again. Somehow, life problems tend to seem much bigger when you feel alone in dealing with them. A helping hand from friends is essential for overcoming challenges So, ask for support from the right people. Seek out those who will be supportive, accepting and realistic. Whether it is your friends and family, a support group, or a psychotherapist, an encouraging social environment can do wonders for your self-esteem. It will highlight and nurture your ability to overcome any issue ahead. 7. Meditate Meditation is a technique that can help you integrate the tips we have spoken about above. Meditative practice teaches you to calm your mind and free it from ruminative apprehensions and adverse emotions. It gives you the mental flexibility and physical tranquillity you need for overcoming obstacles with success. Finally, after meditation, you will notice greater clarity in understanding the problem ahead and how you can tackle it. 8. Pledge to self-care Let me be straight — overcoming challenges can be hard work. It's easy to disregard healthy habits when you are entangled with problems. This is why you should commit to a self-care practice and ensure you are well cared for. Broadly speaking, all the tips in this article can be seen as a form of self-care. When you perceive a problem rationally, address unhelpful beliefs and develop a growth mindset and self-confidence, you care for yourself. The same goes for gathering support or meditating. “Once you are clearer on where the problem lies, what unhelpful thoughts might be hindering your success, and which talents you can rally to help you in overcoming challenges, it's time to plan how to do it.” However, what we have in mind here is more specific. It's a well-known set of recommendations to make sure you do not neglect to care for your mental and physical needs. Therefore, eat healthily and regularly. Set up a better sleep routine to ensure both the quality and quantity of sleep you need. Exercise to release some of the accumulated stress. Socialise with the right people and consume quality media content. Finally, pamper yourself and treat yourself to something pleasant and healthy, like a relaxing massage. You will find your mental batteries charged as a result of such a self-care routine, and you will be much more willing to embrace the opportunity to grow from overcoming challenges. Takeaway: Don't run from challenges — embrace them It's perfectly natural to feel anxiety — dread, even — when facing a major challenges in our life. The more important the goal, the graver the fear of not attaining it. You may even feel totally paralyzed. However, obstacles tend not to go away just because we look the other way. So, take the challenges life throws at you head-on. This will show you a doorway to an unbounded field for psychological growth. Embrace the hurdles and snags. Be courageous and believe in yourself. Even though overcoming challenges may feel like you are in freefall at times, be at ease. There is a new 'you' that will catch you on the other side of the obstacle you are facing. • Main image: Maridav happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum ■ developing with free online classes in our Academy Self-help | Authenticity | Coaching Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

We all spend too much time 'in our heads' now and again. But overthinking regularly can be detrimental to our mental health if those thoughts are negative, so it's important to remember you are not your thoughts. Dee Marques offers some mindful exercises to help you do just that. Have you ever wondered how many thoughts we have in a day? It may seem impossible to calculate, but actually, we do have an answer. In fact, psychologists at a Canadian university have quantified the average number of daily thoughts an adult has as 6,200. This figure seems to confirm that we spend a lot of time in our heads. And there are plenty more studies to confirm this. For example, an article published in Science magazine reported that we spend more than 46 per cent of our waking hours thinking about things that aren’t related to what we’re doing in any given moment. Of course, thinking isn’t all bad and letting the mind wander can have its benefits. However, from a mental health perspective, it’s important to be aware of the content of our thoughts, and of the impact they can have when we let them run loose. Negative self-talk and rumination are real problems. Indeed, back in the early 2000s, researchers at the United States National Science Foundation estimated that 80 per cent of our thoughts are negative, and 95 per cent of them are repetitive. Looking at these statistics, it’s easy to understand how much our thoughts can affect our quality of life and potential for enjoyment. Get out of your head: you are not your thoughts! shutterstock/G-Stock Studio Psychiatrist Sigmund Freud once asked, “Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?” Although this complex question has no definitive answer, there’s one thing we know: your thoughts leave a footprint in your mind. Sometimes, they can become a part of your identity, but here’s the thing: you are not your thoughts. We all have the ability to control our thoughts and moderate their impact. In this article, I’ll explain why you are not your thoughts and how you can curb the effects of negative thinking on your everyday life. The negative effects of brain chatter Self-talk, brain chatter, mental noise… whatever we call it, it's important to understand that allowing certain mental patterns to take control can be harmful. Well-being is a matter of balance. If we spend too much time focusing on thoughts, we run the risk of tipping the scale too heavily in one direction. In other words, if we think too much, that can mean that we’re acting too little, and life requires a healthy balance between thinking and acting. “If we don’t control brain chatter, we may end up losing sight of what’s real and what isn’t. Thoughts are not facts, and you are not your thoughts.” Moreover, if we don’t learn how to curb our negative inner dialogue, we can expose ourselves to unnecessary suffering and unhappiness. Living in our heads and dwelling on our thoughts can lead to rumination. This potentially toxic habit can cause multiple mental and physical health issues, from depression to high blood pressure, including insomnia, anxiety, and excessive alcohol consumption. Rumination is everything but productive. When we enter this state, we’re more likely to get trapped in cyclical thoughts and to believe we have no power to act on whatever is worrying us. The result is a pessimistic and passive outlook on life – the opposite of the healthy belief that you are not your thoughts. And while we’re stuck ruminating about the past or the future, we’re not acting in the present, which is the only thing over which we have some degree of control. RELATED: Learn How to Stop Overthinking Another danger is that if we don’t control brain chatter, we may end up losing sight of what’s real and what isn’t. You must remember that thoughts are not facts, and that you are not your thoughts. Let’s look at how to do this. You are not your thoughts: how to make it real First, identify what causes the problem. Keep a diary of your thoughts to see if you can find any patterns to when they appear or what triggers them. Common triggers are watching the news, mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds, and monotonous or repetitive tasks, like cleaning or driving the usual commute. Once you’ve identified the triggers, think of something that will keep your mind busy when the thoughts appear. For example, if this happens when you’re driving, make a habit of listening to uplifting podcasts about happiness or audiobooks. A digital detox can be a real eye opener and a big step in helping you realise that you are not your thoughts. RELATED: How to Stop Ruminating With These 3 Techniques The second suggestion is not to suppress those thoughts completely. You don’t want to encourage the “don’t think of an elephant” effect. Instead, give yourself 15 minutes a day to calmly consider your worries. Set an alarm and once it goes off, remind yourself that you are not your thoughts, and carry on with your day. It can also help to take an active approach to your worries. Write them down and think about what can you do about them. You may want to use brainstorming techniques to be creative with problems instead of letting them define your life. Exercises to practise If uncontrolled thoughts have become mental noise that drains your energy, you can learn to silence them with mindfulness. This practice trains our brain to observe thoughts instead of automatically acting or reacting on them. Here is an exercise suggestion: The key is to observe thoughts with curiosity and without judgement, noticing how they feel as they enter and leave your mind. Make a mental note of whether the thoughts run fast or slow, what are the common themes, find out if they’re repetitive or different. As you do this, you can imagine a crystal clear stream. It’s autumn and tree leaves are falling. Imagine each leaf is a thought, and watch them fall, enter the stream, and be washed away until you can no longer see them. Learn to simply observe your thoughts with curiosity After the mindfulness exercise, you can also try to find out the intention behind those thoughts. Every emotion has a positive purpose, but sometimes our mind doesn’t allow us to see it, because it goes into rumination mode automatically. For example, anxious thoughts could signal a need for self-care and protection. Sadness can prompt us to adjust to new circumstances and develop new tools to thrive. Whenever negative thoughts make you feel anxious, find some quiet space to be present in the moment. You can sit or lie down in a comfortable position and focus on how your body feels against the floor or chair, taking your time to do a body scan from head to toe. If brain chatter tries to intrude, be firm and say you are in charge now. Remember: you are not your thoughts and your thoughts aren’t always a reflection of reality. “If brain chatter tries to intrude, be firm and say you are in charge. Remember: you are not your thoughts and your thoughts aren't always a reflection of reality.” Repeated mindfulness sessions can help you win the fight between a restless “monkey mind” and the logical or rational mind. Over time, you’ll notice how your power to deflect unwanted thoughts improves, and how the idea that you are not your thoughts becomes a reality. RELATED: How to Stop Thinking About Something: 9 Strategies One last suggestion is to work on self-acceptance. It takes time to get hold of your thinking habits and to fully understand that you are not your thoughts, so don’t be too hard on yourself in you don’t get it right 100 per cent of the times. And don’t forget to look over previous blog posts, where we listed great mindfulness podcasts to keep you motivated or explored different ways of incorporating mindfulness into your daily life. Takeaway: you are not your thoughts Negative self-talk can make it hard to believe that you are not your thoughts, and mental noise can be draining. But as powerful beings, we have the resources to be in control and to stop letting our thoughts dictate how our mood and actions. Try the suggestions in this article, and if in doubt, remember: you are not your thoughts, you’re much more than that! • Main image: shutterstock/Dragana Gordic happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Letting go | Acceptance | Self Care Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Meditation is so much more than a trendy ancient practice. In fact, it has many scientifically-proven health benefits. From stress relief to lowering anxiety, Calvin Holbrook looks at nine key advantages of developing a meditation practice. As the practice of meditation continues to grow in popularity in the West, so do the scientifically-proven benefits of doing it. In a world which can increasingly feel chaotic, more and more of us are turning to meditation as an antidote to a multitasking, distracted lifestyle. As a result, many of us are increasing both our mental and physical well-being through meditating. Meditation has its origins in prehistory. In fact, the earliest written records, the Vedas of ancient India, date from 1500 BC. As an umbrella term that covers a number of practices, there are many different styles of meditation. One of them is mindfulness meditation, where you focuses on the present moment and thoughts, emotions and sensations that arise. Another important type is loving-kindness meditation. This style derives from the Buddhist Vipassana tradition and focuses on universal love and compassion for others. Many people practice those forms today. Science now backs the health benefits of meditation – both mental and physical – that humans have instinctively understood for millennia. Mental health benefits of meditation These scientifically-proven benefits mean that meditation is regularly recommended as an alternative therapy for a diverse range of conditions, including: Stress Anxiety Depression Sleep difficulties Increasing happiness Promoting positive thinking Improving relationships Boosting cognitive abilities Science has also shown that regular meditation practice can improve the function and even change the structures of the brain. Hence its place in increasing the well-being and happiness of both individuals and wider society is assured. The physical benefits of meditation Scientists began to attempt to study the effects of meditation on the mind and the body during the 1950s. However, there are flaws in these early scientific approaches. More recent studies have used increasingly modern techniques such as EEG and fMRI to scan the brain before, during and after meditation, which allow the links between meditation and physiological and psychological bodily changes to be studied in depth. “The scientifically-proven benefits mean that meditation is highly recommended as an alternative therapy for a diverse range of conditions.” In 2013, a paper published by researchers at John Hopkins University identified 47 well-designed studies into meditation that had produced reliable results. Because of that, they concluded that meditation can be as effective as medication for some forms of depression and anxiety. Indeed, a growing body of science supports the benefits of meditation, so let's take a deeper look at nine of the key mental and physical health advantages of developing a regular meditation practice. 1. Stress relief Doctors are beginning to realise that stress is the root cause of many physical illnesses such as cardiovascular disease. One of the main benefits of meditating is to reduce stress and allow both the body and brain to relax deeply and effectively. Research on PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) patients shows that meditation works by: balancing the nervous system improving brain coherence restoring hormonal levels to a state of equilibrium There is plenty of other science-backed research that suggests that reduces stress is one key benefit of meditation. A two-month study focusing on mindfulness meditation found that it reduced the inflammation response caused by stress. Studies have provided scientifically-proven evidence that meditation helps people to cope better with stressful situations. A further study from 2014 of 1,300 adults showed that meditate may decrease stress, and, significantly, the benefits were most profound in those who had the highest stress levels to begin with. Stop stress: mindful meditation can beat this silent killer 2. Reduced anxiety It follows that lower stress levels through meditation will also lead to reduced anxiety. A 2012 study of almost 2,500 participants showed that a variety of different meditation strategies can help to reduce anxiety levels. Another eight-week study into mindfulness meditation also showed that participants reduced their anxiety levels. Moreover, the benefits of meditation extended to reducing symptoms of anxiety disorders, such as phobias, social anxiety, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, paranoid thoughts and panic attacks. RELATED: Panic attacks –12 tips on what to do when anxiety hits hard 3. Lowering heart disease risk High blood pressure is a recognised risk factor for coronary heart disease. A long-term study published in an AHA journal showed that the risk of patients suffering from cardiovascular conditions such as atherosclerosis, myocardial ischaemia and atherosclerosis, or dying or suffering a heart attack stroke was reduced by almost half – 48 per cent – when compared to a control group in a similar physical condition who did not meditate. The 2012 study from the Medical College of Wisconsin in Milwaukee concluded that twice-a-day Transcendental Meditation helped African Americans with heart disease reduce their risk of death, heart attack and stroke. Meditation also helped patients lower their blood pressure, stress and anger compared with patients who did not meditate and only attended health education classes. 4. Improving cognitive abilities Recent research with a group of participants aged between 55 and 75 demonstrated that mindfulness meditation techniques improve goal-directed visuospatial attention span. Furthermore, a 2014 review of various studies found that multiple meditation styles increased attention, memory and mental quickness in older volunteers. These studies suggest that meditation could have the power to offset age-related cognitive decline or potentially enhance cognitive function in older adults. 5. Reducing pain Science shows through research that those who meditate show a greater ability to cope with pain and can even experience a reduced sensation of pain. Indeed, one large study published in 2014 examined the effects of regular meditation in 3,500 participants. It concluded that one benefit of meditation was decreased complaints of chronic or intermittent pain. “Science has shown that regular meditation can actually boost the brain’s grey matter. It appears that we have the ability to grow our own happiness.” Another study from 2011 published in The Journal of Neuroscience found that participants that meditated showed increased activity in the brain centres that control pain while also reporting less sensitivity to pain. Some participants had received four days of mindfulness meditation training, while others had not. Researchers then used MRI scans to observe brain activity in the participants while they experienced a painful stimulus. 6. Improving sleep While in some ways the science of sleep remains a mystery, we do know that it is essential for our health and well-being. A 2015 study found that participants who meditated fell asleep sooner and stayed asleep longer, compared to those who didn't. The study compared two mindfulness-based meditation programs by randomly assigning participants to one of two groups – one that practiced meditation and one that didn't. Life's a beach: meditation has many health benefits 7. Stopping smoking Another health benefit of meditation is that it can make giving up smoking easier, therefore reducing the risk of smoking-related illnesses and health complaints. The effect of meditating regularly is cumulative, and as stress is reduced, so the impulse to smoke is lessened. One study of people meditating daily showed that 50 per cent had given up smoking two years into the research and another 30 per cent had significantly reduced their tobacco consumption. 8. Boosting happiness Studies at Kyoto University discovered that the precuneus area of the brain was larger in people who rated themselves as happy and upbeat than in those with a more negative outlook on life. Science has shown that regular meditation can actually boost the brain’s grey matter. It appears that we have the ability to grow our own happiness. Dr Wataru Sato furthermore says that now we understand that meditation increases grey matter in the precuneus, it will be possible to design scientifically-based programmes to grow a happier brain. 9. Improving the well-being and happiness of employees Contemplative practices such as mindfulness meditation and mindful or gratitude yoga can be helpful to business in boosting the happiness and health of their employees: a happy, healthy workforce is a key to the success of a company. After offering a mindfulness course to 600 of their employees, Transport for London found that 80 per cent had seen an improvement in their relationships and felt more relaxed, more than half felt happier at work, and 64 per cent experienced better sleep patterns. Another pay-off for the employer was that absentee rates due to sickness and stress dropped by a huge 71 per cent. Other benefits of meditation: a happier and healthier society By encouraging us to focus on the present, meditation calms us, empowering us to lead a happier life and to cope with any difficulties life presents. Science shows that meditation is not only an effective therapy for many common diseases but also helps individuals improve their levels of happiness, grow compassion for others and boost their own physical and mental health, leading to the development of a compassionate, thriving and resilient society. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Stress management | Burnout | What is vedic meditation? Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness.com magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also loves hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

Quality sleep is an essential component of good mental and physical health, yet many of us struggle to find it. Ann Vrlak explores how deep sleep meditation could increase your chances of improved rest and well-being. Some years ago, I told a doctor friend: “I’m having so much trouble sleeping. What’s wrong with me? Who can’t fall asleep, for heaven’s sake!?” She laughed and said, “Well, only most of the planet!” It turned out she was right. The American Sleep Association says that 50-70 million adults in the US have a sleep disorder. Insomnia is the most common in the short term (30 per cent of Americans), but it also affects 10 per cent in the long-term. In my journey to more thoroughly understand sleep and enjoy better sleep, I have read a lot about how common sleep problems are, how they affect us, and what we can do to improve the quantity and quality of our sleep. As a meditation teacher, I was sure that meditation could play a big role. So, this article is about the benefits of deep sleep meditation and how these practices can help you drift off more quickly and enjoy more restorative sleep. Why deep sleep is crucial My doctor friend told me that Ariana Huffington – the über-successful founder of Huffington Post – left the company in 2016 to form a wellness website focused on sleep. RELATED: How to Do Yoga Nidra For Sleep: 4 Steps and Script Huffington began this journey when she collapsed one day from exhaustion. She had always been an energetic and healthy person, but sleep was not something she made a priority. Her health crisis motivated her to delve into the importance of sleep and what she calls the “sleep deprivation crisis” of our modern world. Deep sleep meditations encourage quality rest Today, a year into the COVID-19 pandemic, studies are showing sleep problems are becoming even more common – yet another effect of the isolation, loneliness and disruption so many of us are experiencing. If you don’t sleep well once in a while, your body will adapt. However, if you’re someone who regularly has trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep and wake up feeling exhausted, I hope this article will convince you of the importance of aqequate shut-eye and convince you to give deep sleep meditations a try. “Deep sleep meditations are a way to encourage your mind, body and spirit to do what it naturally wants to do: rest, heal and rejuvenate.” And, in case you think a chronic lack of quality sleep isn’t a priority in your life, don’t be fooled. Some of the damaging effects include: Impaired judgement Slowed reaction time Weight gain Hypertension Conflicts with others Mental fog and poor concentration Impaired immune system Anxiety and depression Benefits of deep sleep meditation I hope the list above gives you an idea of just how crucial healthy sleep is to you. Sleep is regulated by neurochemicals in the brain which, in turn, regulate a whole range of mental and physical processes. So, when poor sleep is ongoing, just about everything you think, feel and do can be negatively affected. As you might expect then, the benefits of regular, healthy sleep are just as profound in the positive direction! You can expect to: Feel mentally alert Be able to concentrate and problem-solve Have a high-functioning immune system Better communication and connection with others Be better able to maintain your weight Reduce hypertension, as well as anxiety and depression In a nutshell, regular quality sleep will keep your brain in a powerful, balanced cycle of health that will support you in a whole host of ways. How much sleep do I need? Most adults need between seven to eight hours sleep a night. And, it’s important to sleep close to this amount every night. Three hours one night and 10 hours the next throws your brain chemistry and your circadian rhythm out of balance. When it comes to sleep, routine is king. Deep sleep meditations you can try There are many guided meditations you can try, online or in many of the meditation apps. Whichever you choose, please keep this in mind: sleep is a natural process. It’s not something you should need to force. Deep sleep meditations are just a way to encourage your mind, body and spirit to do what it naturally wants to do: rest, heal and rejuvenate. Every night. RELATED: How to Meditate in Bed for Beginners Here are a couple of deep sleep meditation videos I recommend. If poor sleep is troubling you, I hope you’ll give them a try. 1. Guided meditation with Tara Brach | 15 minutes This is a lovely breath and body scan deep sleep meditation. At just 15 minutes, it's a great one to practise just prior to heading to bed. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } 2. Jason Stephenson | 1 hour This guided meditation is an example of another type of deep sleep meditation: a visualization journey. Stephenson’s “Floating Among the Stars” meditation begins with a relaxation session then takes you through a visualization experience. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } The power of deep sleep meditations Meditation is uniquely suited as a before-sleep routine, especially deep sleep meditations that help you release stressful thoughts (the biggest cause of insomnia for many of us). Breath and body scan meditations are the oldest and most effective deep sleep meditations. RELATED: Yes, You Can Meditate Lying Down. Here's How and Why Here are just a few reasons why these meditations will be a helpful tool if you have sleep issues. Again, they will help you to focus on your body and physical sensations, instead of your thoughts. You might have noticed that your troubling thoughts all seem to come out when you get into bed! Not only that, but if you’re like me, you might try to think yourself into sleep; you can probably guess how well that works. Meditation enables your pre-sleep brain shutterstock/shurkin_so I can’t overstate how much your sleep will improve if you embrace deep sleep meditations that gently direct your attention away from your thoughts. If you try to STOP your thoughts, this is a direct path to frustration. But if you give your attention something else to focus on, you’ll start to feel your mind relax. Saying that, it’s really important not to expect your mind to go willingly at first. Thinking, planning and worrying as we settle down for the night are all ingrained habits for most of us. So, please be patient as you try any of these deep sleep meditation. MORE LIKE THIS: Cat Naps – 5 Health Benefits of Taking a Siesta Feel Stress-Free Fast: 11 Science-Backed Techniques 14 Sleep Hacks to Get a Good Night's Rest As you focus less on your thoughts and more on your body, you will set in motion the relaxation response in your brain. Paying attention to your breath and bodily sensations tell your brain that you’re “safe.” Your parasympathetic nervous system, that governs all kinds of wonderful healing processes, sends relaxation chemicals throughout your body. This supports not only your sleep, but your ability to relax and open further to deep sleep meditation. “Meditation is uniquely suited as a before-sleep routine, especially deep sleep meditations that help you release stressful thoughts.” Another strength of deep sleep meditations that focus on breath and body is that they bring you into the present moment. You need to be present to feel the subtle sensations of warmth or coolness as you breathe, or the tension in your shoulders or stomach. This kind of sustained, kind, precise attention to what you’re experiencing right now gathers your attention from the many places it may be wandering, to one gentle, aware place within yourself. Try it. You may be surprised how calming paying attention to one thing can be! These meditations for deeper sleep also help you to become quieter, to notice the silence within your breath and within your body. These quiet spaces are small doorways that say, “This way! I’ll take you to the quiet, rest and release of sleep.” Most meditation traditions see great value in reaching deeper sleep, rather than the superficial level of sleep which is also all too common. They provide an opportunity to sink into the thought-less realm of your being, every day, and bathe in pure awareness. Because most of us spend much of our days doing, planning and being busy, this deeply restful time is seen as an essential oasis of healing and rejuvenation for mind, body and spirit. Conclusions: deep sleep meditation Quality sleep is an integral part of good mental and physical health. Sadly, many of us struggle to get adequate rest due to stress, worry, anxiety and overthinking. However, we can use deep sleep meditation techniques to encourage our body to enter a state of relaxation and rest. Try watching the videos suggested and following the above tips to help you on your way to a good night's rest. Sweet dreams. • Main image: shutterstock/Billion Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Stress management | Mindfulness | Burnout Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

There were many feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during June, but you may not have seen them. Ed Gould shares his Top 10 from the past month to uplift and inspire. With so much upheaval in the world and some frightening stories dominating the headlines, it's good to know that June also saw its fair share of positive news. If you haven't seen many good news stories from the last month, then this selection should be enough to raise your spirits. 1. Extinct orchid rediscovered in Scotland Let's start with some great news for nature lovers. An orchid species that's so rare it was thought to be extinct has been found growing on a remote Scottish estate. Situated somewhere in the Highlands, the exact location of the plant is being kept a secret since it has not been successfully identified for over two centuries. According to a report by the BBC, the coralroot orchid was unexpectedly rediscovered by an ecologist named Gus Routledge. Meanwhile, another rare orchid specimen also thought to have died out was rediscovered in Vermont, USA. Incredibly, it's thought this example hadn't been seen since 1902! Now, that's what we call flower power! 2. Dance and mindfulness combined help mental health It's long been known that physical activity, such as dance, can help to alleviate bad moods and even lessen the severity of mental health conditions like depression. Mindfulness is also a much-studied area of academic research with respect to mental health. However, according to Adrianna Mendrek, a Professor of Psychology at Bishop's University, writing in the Deccan Herald, when the two are combined there is a noted effect on the somatosensory cortex. This is an area of the brain well-known for its ability to physically alter – a process known as neuroplasticity. Because this part of the brain connects directly to so many others, it's thought that this is why it could help mental health outcomes so readily when both dance and mindfulness are combined. Mindful dancing boosts mental health shutterstock/Prostock-studio 3. Swiss plastics researchers offer hope Materials scientists in Switzerland have teamed up with colleagues in neighbouring Austria to come up with a sustainable source of hydrocarbons for one of the trickiest plastics to recycle – PET (polyethylene terephthalate). They've come up with a plastic that has similar, durable properties, which means it could even be used for bottles and food containers. The difference? According to a report in MENA FN, this material is derived from biomass waste. Key to the technique is retaining sugars within the natural material that can be used to form strong molecular links. It's also hoped the material will soon be used by 3-D printers. 4. Vitamin D may ward off risk of stroke and dementia As reported in numerous press outlets in June, vitamin D deficiency has been found to be a significant contributory factor in the incidence of both stroke and dementia. As a result, it's thought that simply getting more sunlight could be a contributing factor in staving off both conditions, according to researchers at the University of South Australia. In addition to getting more sunlight, researchers think that consuming more oily fish – a good natural source of vitamin D – will help ensure longer-term brain health. RELATED: How to talk to a parent with dementia 5. Drones used to prevent plastics entering the ocean A Dutch firm called RanMarine has developed aquatic drones that are being deployed in the country's waterways to collect plastic rubbish that would otherwise eventually find its way to the sea. According to a story in EuroNews, the drones measure around 1.5m, meaning they are large enough to collect about 160 litres of rubbish on each deployment. The project has already caught the attention of the US National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Many think capturing plastics before they get into the open ocean is much easier and, therefore, a better tactic than trying to deal with them after they've already got there. 6. Video gamers receive a boost to their intelligence Many people think playing video games is a waste of time but recent research sheds new light on this popular activity, even going so far as to suggest it can boost intelligence! A study from a Swedish research institute has concluded that video gaming helped certain cognitive abilities – such as problem-solving – to grow. RELATED: Games are changing our lives... for good! As many as 5,000 children took part in the study and their cognitive abilities were tested two years apart so that their brain development could be established over time. Overall, the researchers found that screen time wasn't necessarily bad and that, on average, cognitive function was improved among those playing video games. Given the world has been enjoying video games since the 1970s, this is great news for gamers. Playing video games could boost intelligence shutterstock/LightField studios 7. Smart CO2 energy battery launched in Italy The Italian island of Sardinia is home to a new CO2 battery, a green technology that offers a long-duration storage option for renewable energy. According to Claudio Spadaccini, the CEO behind the project, the breakthrough technology is already commercially available to make cost-effective renewable energy on a worldwide scale. The idea is that CO2 batteries are less costly and better for the global environment than lithium-ion alternatives because they require no mining and used a closed-loop system. 8. Wooden wind turbines offer an ecological alternative Wind turbines may create green electricity but they're often made from carbon-intensive materials. However, if sustainable wood can be used instead, then they'll operate in an even more environmentally friendly way over their life cycles. According to a report in Treehugger, this is exactly what one Swedish firm, Modvion, is trying to do. A large-scale prototype to demonstrate the viability of wooden wind turbines is already underway. A 30-metre turbine has already been made. Now, the company is in the process of upscaling the idea to a 100-metre turbine that could soon be commercially available. 9. Coffee consumption could extend life So long as it’s not drunk to excess, coffee may help us to live longer, according to a report by NBC News. A recent UK study of 120,000 people compared mortality rates among coffee drinkers and non-coffee drinkers. It found that people who drank 1.5 to 3.5 cups of coffee a day had a lower risk of death than non-coffee drinkers – even if they added sugar to their daily brew! The study also found that coffee drinking was associated with a decreased risk of kidney disease, Parkinson’s, type-2 diabetes and some cancers. A coffee a day keeps the doctor away? shutterstock/bbernard 10. Optimists are likely to live longer, not just think they will! Here's a great piece of feel-good news to finish on this month. Being optimistic might make you think you will live a long and happy life, but a new study has shown that optimists really do have longer lifespans on average! According to a report in Woman's World – and numerous other outlets – scientists at the Department of Social and Behavioral Sciences at Harvard T.H. Chan School found that positive psychological outlooks correlated not only to longer lifespans but a healthier ageing process among a wide number of different social groups. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Biology | Sustainability | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.