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Can following your bliss lead to greater happiness? Sonia Vadlamani discusses the common myths associated with following your bliss, and explains how it can be simplified into straightforward, actionable steps. “Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid... doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.” This inspiring advice was advocated by Joseph Campbell, a comparative religion and mythology expert, in his 1998 book The Power of Myth. While Campbell's ideology to derive happiness by doing something you love was visionary at the time, it also left many followers confused and frustrated. How do you even know what your bliss is, and would it mean you have to quit your day job and ignore other responsibilities in order to follow it? What is 'bliss' exactly? Originating from the German word ‘blithe’ – which translates as ‘superficial display of kindness to others’ – bliss refers to a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction derived when you do good for others. Bliss is what makes your otherwise mundane or meaningless life meaningful and gratifying. While several confuse bliss for something they like or are passionate about, the true essence of bliss ranges much further, in the form of the profound contentment or fulfillment derived from work done for others with integrity and honor. How does following your bliss lead to happiness? The term “follow your bliss” was coined by Joseph Campbell in the early 1950s, with a vision that was significantly different from the common perception that success and happiness resulted from hard work. Campbell based his principles on the Hindu mythological belief of “Sat-Chit-Ananda” – being one’s ‘true nature’ – wherein Sat referred to truth, Chit means consciousness and Ananda is the innate happiness or bliss. According to Campbell, knowing what brings us gratification and setting out to achieve it will enable us to fulfill our life’s purpose and attain our true state of consciousness. Indeed, there is substantial research to support the theory that happiness is the end result of how one chooses to spend their time, and whether they love doing what they do. Follow the rainbow, follow your bliss Following your bliss involves doing what brings you joy and doing it more often until it becomes an integral part of your life. This may enable you to find your ‘flow’ state, wherein you’re completely focused on the task at hand and derive happiness from it. Flow is an innately positive experience which creates long-lasting happiness, according to the researcher Mihaly Cziksentmihalyi. A qualitative study revealed that Campbell’s paradigms regarding following one’s interests can be applied at organizations as a framework to improve work satisfaction and career growth prospects, along with encouraging a more positive social environment at workplace. Following your bliss: 4 common myths Unfortunately, the wide-ranging implications of Campbell’s principles regarding following one’s bliss can be interpreted in different ways, creating ambiguity and dissatisfactory results for several people. Here we try to dispel some common myths associated with Campbell’s principles: Myth 1: Your bliss could be anything that excites you It’s understandably easy to confuse your ‘bliss’ with things or actions that bring you temporary happiness or short-lived pleasure. There’s a lot more to bliss than indulging in your favorite pastime, whether it's playing video games or guilty pleasures like a bite of your favorite chocolate. Ideally, following your bliss should involve pursuing ideas and activities that consequently fulfill and nourish your soul. Your ‘bliss’ could be something that you deeply connect with, that enables you to make a positive difference in others’ lives. Myth 2: Your bliss must be your main source of earnings While identifying and pursuing what your bliss entails, you may be compelled to think that following it must also be how you earn your living. Although this may be possible for some, not everyone can pursue fulfillment through their profession. Adversely, the obligation to seek bliss through your job may hamper your career growth. Gordon Marino, philosophy professor at St Olaf College asserts that one’s sense of satisfaction or their quest to lead a meaningful life need not reflect in their career choices or line of work. “Following your bliss should involve pursuing ideas and activities that consequently fulfill and nourish your soul.” Instead, look for things that bring you a sense of fulfillment, like volunteering, a part-time project that adds value to other people's lives, being kind and considerate to others – the core idea is to seek long-lasting joy through a positive impact. Myth 3: Following your bliss results in instant gratification Finding your bliss and pursuing it will require you to expand your awareness and tune into the direction your intuition is trying to steer you in. While others can guide you, there is no set path to following your bliss, and you may encounter hardships on this journey. Developing an abundance mindset helps – trusting that you understand what your bliss entails and you know how to achieve it can take you closer to manifesting your goals. Myth 4: Your bliss commands all your attention and commitment Pursuing your bliss is undoubtedly a challenge at times, as it may require you to step out of your comfort zone and explore the unknown. However, fulfilling your purpose does not mean shying away from your responsibilities or ignoring your commitments towards important things in your life. Following your bliss requires integrity on your behalf, as it involves seeking contentment while doing good for others consistently over time. Walking away from your day-to-day duties may threaten your credibility, which may affect your ability to follow your bliss. 5 steps for following your bliss So, knowing what finding and following your bliss doesn't have to involve, here are some suggestions to getting closer to that elusive state. 1. Stay aware The first step in being able to follow your bliss is knowing what bliss means to you. Consciously take notice of what brings you joy in life to pinpoint where your interests lie. Your bliss could be unearthed in the smallest, seemingly most trivial way, as well as in the biggest aspects of your life. Following your heart is crucial, as it allows you to utilize your intuitive abilities. Indeed, the simple act of trusting your intuition may result in serenity. Meditation can help a great deal in improving focus and concentration, taking you closer to tapping your internal source of bliss. As you expand your awareness, it’s important to listen to your inner voice and trust your instincts, so that you never lose an opportunity or idea that may potentially take you closer to following your bliss. 2. Create an action plan “Setting goals is the first step to turn the invisible to visible,” according to the renowned motivational speaker Tony Robbins. Furthermore, a study by Prof. Bettina S Wiese revealed that making progress through goal completion can also improve one’s sense of well-being, which means that following your bliss can also contribute towards greater personal happiness. “Finding your bliss and pursuing it will require you to expand your awareness and tune into the direction your intuition is trying to steer you in.” Start by goal setting one step at a time – listen to your inner voice and create an intention that supports the idea or direction that interests you. Trusting your instinct will also help you tackle potentially negative emotions like fear, stress, uncertainty, and anxiety, etc. Keeping a journal or vision board can be helpful in fine-tuning the right path of action that is in synergy with your interests and core strengths. 3. Share, synergize and support Sharing your goals, dreams and intentions with like-minded individuals will enable you to seek their honest feedback and input. Additionally, finding positive synergies between your areas of interest and your personal competencies can spark fulfilling collaborations and can help you to hone your skills. Forming support groups will also help you remain consistent with your efforts and put in the required work to follow your bliss. Create goals to help follow your bliss shutterstock/mimagephotography 4. Review goals periodically and revise While consistent action and determination are crucial for one to be able to achieve their bliss, sometimes our goals and ambitions shift or change with time. Your sustained actions towards achieving bliss would enable you to gather new knowledge, perspectives, and experiences, which may require you to take a break periodically to review your goals accordingly. RELATE: Changing perspective and gaining happiness Instead of feeling overwhelmed or blaming yourself for this shift in perspective, accept that this change is a part of life, and try gently altering your action plan to accommodate the changes in what your bliss currently involves. 5. Enjoy your journey Regardless of what your idea of bliss entails and what you wish to achieve, you also need to be able to have fun while you set out to follow your bliss, be it volunteering for a cause close to your heart or teaching someone a new language. Indeed, when you choose a goal that comprises of something close to your heart, the journey becomes enjoyable, which is the ultimate objective of following your bliss. Round up: finding your bliss According to Joseph Campbell, following your bliss is simply the act of letting your life speak wherein you recognize its purpose and set out to accomplish it to the best of your ability. Expanding your awareness using tools like creativity, intuition, and intelligence can help you unlock your inner bliss, which can attain the happiness you seek. • Main image: shutterstock/Forrest9 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Purpose of life | Motivation | Learning | Success Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

There were plenty of feel-good health and environmental stories to start 2021, but you may not have heard of them – until now! Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten positive news stories from the past month to uplift and inspire us. January is one of the gloomiest months in the calendar where, in the northern hemisphere at least, it's often cold, grey and wet. However, the past month was full of feel-good news to brighten your day. Not all of these stories got the mainstream attention they deserved, so what were some of the good news items you may not have noticed? 1. Mindfulness uptake boosted by lockdowns There are few good news items about the various lockdowns around the world but one has been the increased interest in mindfulness and meditation among the public. In fact, according to Buddhistdoor, the pandemic has seen a doubling of the use of mindfulness apps, especially those which draw inspiration from traditional Buddhist meditative techniques. Its report also points out that mindfulness is becoming so mainstream that it now has entire TV shows devoted to it, such as a forthcoming series on Netflix called 'Headspace Guide to Meditation' and 'A World of Calm', an HBO series. 2. Great Green Wall project ramps up Having raised in excess of $14 billion from the African Development Bank in January, an international project to protect central Africa from the Sahara desert has received a huge boost. Started back in 2005, the initiative has already seen many trees, shrubs and grasses planted in the savannah areas to the south of the desert. Stretching from Senegal in the west to Djibouti in the east, the Great Green Wall has already saved hundreds of thousands of hectares from soil erosion, thereby helping a substantial part of the continent to remain arable. According to the Financial Times, the project helps to provide job opportunities and to promote regional peace, as well as safeguarding the environment. 3. Artificial heart approved for use in Europe In a report published by France 24, a French company named Carmat has gained regulatory approval for its artificial heart. The mechanised organ is likely to offer a lifeline to many patients who have yet to be matched with a suitable donor. It has taken almost three decades to come to fruition, but the artificial heart will go on sale in the European Union from April, the healthcare firm announced. According to Stéphane Piat, Carmat's CEO, the device is compatible with all blood types and is self-regulating once it has been placed inside the patient's body. 4. Panamanian tribe wins stewardship of wide forest region According to a report in Yale Environment 360, indigenous tribespeople in Panama have won a court ruling that will put them in charge of a vast area of almost pristine forest. The country's Supreme Court found in favour of the Naso people in their claims to the forest, situated in one of Panama's semi-autonomous regions. The indigenous Americans had feared that the area would be developed and that the ancient areas of forest would come under threat. At least two large national parks will now come under the control of the Naso people as a result of the ruling. Rain forest in Panama shutterstock/Angel deBilio 5. Mexico City bans single-use plastic As one of the largest cities in Central America, Mexico City sets the standards for others in the region to follow. Indeed, the city's authorities have certainly led the way with a ban on single-use plastics which came in at the start of 2021. According to ZME Science, the citywide ban includes items such as plastic cutlery and straws, which were once a big feature of its street food culture. Officials will initially visit food outlets and retailers to check they are complying with the new rules and to inform them of breaches, rather than taking a punitive route as the plastic moratorium comes into effect. 6. Alzheimer drug showing strong results The American pharmaceutical firm Lilly announced in January that it had good results from the mid-stage of its long-term drug trial in the fight against Alzheimer's disease. The company reckons that its experimental treatment has slowed the rate of mental decline in patients by, on average, as much as one third. Almost 300 people with the disease have been taking part in the study over the last 18 months. A beta-amyloid called N3pG is at the heart of the treatment, something Lilly thinks will be cleared rapidly by the regulators once the full field trial is completed. RELATED: Cognitive impairment – 5 key ways to reduce the risk as you age 7. Lab-grown wood could save trees Many media outlets reported a breakthrough in January that was announced by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. MIT scientists have been able to grow a wooden material from plant cells that can be put to a wide range of uses, including furniture making. Given that wood is such an adaptable and widely used material, there is little doubt that people will need it for decades to come. However, that has always come with a cost in terms of deforestation. The lab-grown wood could offer a way forward with traditional woodwork without the need to chop down trees. 8. Renewable energy beating fossil fuels in Germany, UK and Spain A German think tank reported in January that clean energy had overtaken reliance on fossil fuels in three European countries for the first time in 2020. Germany led the way with its uptake of solar power, while wind farms were the mainstay of the UK's efforts. The think tank's report found that electrical generation from coal fell across Europe by a further 20 per cent last year while reliance on nuclear production also dropped by about 10 per cent. Less fossil fuels, more wind farms shutterstock/TedNab 9. Mysterious blue light spotted from the International Space Station A streak of upwardly discharging blue lightning has been detected for the first time from the International Space Station, according to numerous press outlets. The European Space Agency said that the phenomenon will help scientists to understand the ways in which greenhouse gases behave in the upper atmosphere because the blue flashes of light seem to be connected to them in the ionosphere. A European-made instrument on the space station has been looking for these discharges for some time because they are not observable from Earth. Until now, scientists had only been able to theorise about them. 10. Wooden satellite slated for launch Japanese scientists and engineers from Kyoto University have built a prototype of a wooden satellite, according to Universe Today. The idea is to launch the communications system into orbit as soon as 2023 with the approach meaning that less so-called 'space junk' will be created by using fewer metal parts. All of the potentially problematic components can be housed inside the wooden structure which, not being made of metal, should not interfere with radio transmissions. • Main image: shutterstock/Yanikap happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Positive news | Nature | Biology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Psychologist Catherine Sanderson explains how to be more courageous in speaking up about bad behavior, from offensive speech to harmful actions. On behalf of Greater Good Science Center. When I was in college, my boss drove me to a meeting. He had trouble finding a parking place — and, when he realized we were going to be late, pulled into a handicapped parking spot. As we got out of the car, he turned to me, grinned, and started limping. I fully knew that what he did was wrong. And I said nothing. My failure to call out my boss is hardly unique. Yet like most people, if you’d asked me beforehand if I’d have the courage to do the right thing — to confront someone who uses a racist slur or engages in derogatory behavior — I would have said yes. But in reality, most of us fail to step up when actually facing such a situation. Why? One factor that inhibits speaking up is our fear of the consequences. Will it cost me a promotion or a raise? Will I lose a friendship, get a reputation as a troublemaker, or be excluded from subsequent family gatherings or meetings? I needed a letter of reference from my boss; I didn’t want to hurt my chances for a strong recommendation. I’m not alone in having such fears: Many people knew for decades about the horrific behavior of entertainment executive Harvey Weinstein… and they said nothing. They feared, and probably rightly so, that reporting his repeated acts of sexual assault would have dire professional consequences. They stayed silent, and his behavior, of course, continued. Would you call someone out for bad behaviour? Another factor is confusion about what we’re actually seeing or hearing. Is that comment at the office a harmless joke, or is it racist and offensive? Is that spat a minor quarrel, or a serious case of domestic violence? Ambiguous situations like these make it harder for people to step up and act, because we don’t want to appear stupid or overly sensitive. Social psychologists have consistently found that people are far more willing to take action in the case of a clear emergency than when they find themselves in an ambiguous situation. In one study, researchers compared rates of helping for those who heard an ambiguous emergency (a loud crash in another room) versus an unambiguous one (a loud crash followed by groans of pain). Those who heard the crash and the groan were much more likely to help. RELATED: Moral courage – 5 ways to stand up against hate Inaction in ambiguous situations is partially driven by worry that our behavior will be judged by others. It helps explain why only 19 per cent of people intervene when they see a fight between a man and a woman when they believe they are watching a romantic quarrel (because the woman yells out “I never should have married you”), whereas 65 per cent of people intervene when they believe they are watching a fight between strangers (when the woman yells out “I don’t know you”). While intervening in a potentially violent conflict between strangers seems clearly the right thing to do, interfering in a domestic dispute may just cause awkwardness and embarrassment for all parties. When facing an ambiguous situation, our natural tendency is to look to others to figure out what’s going on. But here’s the problem: If each person is looking to the people around them to act, and no one wants to risk feeling foolish and embarrassed, the problematic comment or behavior may be left unchallenged. And this silence conveys a lack of concern, or even tacit acquiescence, making it far more likely that it will continue. “Social psychologists have consistently found that people are far more willing to take action in the case of a clear emergency than when they find themselves in an ambiguous situation.” One of my students – a male varsity basketball player – once told me that every day in the locker room, someone says something offensive. Then he wondered aloud, “Why do I sometimes say something and sometimes I don’t?” He recognized that what he was hearing was offensive, but also that he didn’t always speak up. What he probably didn’t understand was that in all likelihood some of his teammates also felt uncomfortable with these comments but, like him, felt more comfortable being silent, at least some of the time. Though we all imagine ourselves as courageous people who’d do the right thing, it’s not so simple. Over the last few months, we’ve seen multiple examples illustrating the challenge of calling out bad behavior in the case of mask wearing. If you see someone in a store not wearing a mask, do you speak up? You could – and you probably should – but you may worry about whether that person would become aggressive, or whether it’s your place to do so. Or how about if you notice a store clerk asking a customer to put on a mask, and see a confrontation escalating? Should you get involved? Again, you may worry about the potential consequences, such as increasing the spread of potentially infected saliva as more and more people talk. But the good news is we can hone specific skills for challenging bad behavior when we need to. Here are some science-based tips. 1. Find a short and clear way of expressing concern or disapproval This helps you avoid getting embroiled in a lengthy “teachable moment” or humiliating the other person. It simply identifies that the comment or action isn’t OK – for the person engaging in the behavior and for those observing it. One study examining responses to homophobic comments in the workplace found that the most effective type of confrontation was calm but direct: “Hey, that’s not cool.” A similar approach could be used for almost any type of harmful behavior, from calling out someone for using offensive language to intervening when a colleague is rude to a coworker. Openly expressing disapproval clearly communicates what isn’t acceptable, an essential first step in creating new social norms. 2. Assume that a comment is sarcastic and identify it as such Sometimes you can disarm a speaker by assuming they are only being sarcastic. So, for example, you could respond to a sexist comment about the hazards of voting for a woman by saying, “I know you’re just trying to be funny, but some people really do think that women are too emotional to be president!” Your response clarifies that you disagree with the comment, but it doesn’t make the person who made the remark appear stupid or bad. 3. Make the discomfort about you, not them One way of doing this is to reveal a personal connection to explain your reaction to an insensitive remark. You could say, “I was raised in the Catholic church so that comment is hard for me to hear,” or “A close friend of mine was sexually assaulted in high school, so jokes about rape make me uncomfortable.” This reduces the risk that you will make the person feel bad or defensive, but it also clearly indicates that their comment or behavior was wrong. 4. Actively play out different types of responses to offensive remarks or problematic behavior Learning different techniques for confronting bias or unethical behavior can make a difference, but it’s not enough to learn skills and strategies; it’s essential to practise using them. Practising helps reduce inhibitions about speaking up and makes responding feel more normal. It also increases our confidence that we can intervene in a real-world situation. Find a clear and short way to show disapproval shutterstock/Mix and Match Studio This is why the most effective programs for helping bystanders speak up – in schools, universities, and workplaces – not only provide training on how to handle difficult situations but also give people opportunities to practice these skills by roleplaying various scenarios. 5. Find a friend who shares your concern Doug McAdam, a sociologist at Stanford University, found that what best predicts when someone will challenge prevailing social norms, even at great personal risk, is not having to do so alone. The downfall of Theranos (a company that made fraudulent claims about blood testing) started when two employees spoke out together about their concerns, even though they knew they would face potentially lasting personal and professional repercussions. For those of us who aren’t naturally courageous, finding a friend to stand by our side can be essential. 6. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes In 1999, Kathryn Bolkovac, a former police officer, was working as a human rights investigator with the United Nations International Police Task Force in Bosnia and Herzegovina when she discovered that some fellow officers were engaging in sexual misconduct. They were hiring prostitutes and raping underage girls, and were involved in sex trafficking. When she reported these offenses to higher-ups, she was demoted and then fired. (In 2002, she won her lawsuit for wrongful termination.) What led her to speak up? For Bolkovac, a mother of three, one factor was the personal connection she felt to the girls who were being abused. As she told National Public Radio, “I’d be lying if I said there certainly weren’t moments when the children – my own girls – were going through my mind.” Speaking up and risking the consequences can be far easier if you can see the world from someone else’s perspective. Some people may naturally empathize with others, but we can all learn to be more empathic by deliberately expending the time and energy to cultivate empathy. After all, if you were being bullied or sexually assaulted, wouldn’t you want someone to stand up and help you? We can all learn to speak up in the face of bad behavior. If enough of us do so, we can change the culture to one of courage and action instead of silence and inaction. What would it take to create a culture in which we are expected to act when we hear offensive language, witness sexual misconduct, or see workplace fraud? Sometimes just a single voice can be enough, especially when that one person gives others the courage to speak up. • Main image: shutterstock/Krackenimages.com This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is grateful to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

We've all heard of probiotics, but what about prebiotics? Journalist and nutritionist Allison Clark explains the benefits of these food molecules to our health. Plus, she outlines 15 of the best prebiotics to add to your diet to aid digestion. The importance of maintaining a healthy gut microbiome has been gaining more attention. The gut microbiome contains trillions of microorganisms, most of which are bacteria, and plays a major role in various aspects of our health. Probiotics and fibre have gotten a lot of fanfare lately when it comes to gut health, but in order to feed the “good bugs” or beneficial bacteria in our intestines, we also need to eat adequate prebiotics. Unlike probiotics, prebiotics are not live microorganisms, and although most prebiotics are different types of fibre, not all prebiotics are fibre. So, what are they exactly and what are the best prebiotics you can consume? The benefits of prebiotics Prebiotics are defined as substrates that are selectively used by the gut microbiota that produce a health benefit for the host (i.e. us humans!). Substrates are molecules that enzymes act upon and can include indigestible fibre, polyphenols and polyunsaturated fatty acids. So, in essence, prebiotics serve as food for beneficial microbes in our guts that result in the production of beneficial metabolites. These have anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer properties for humans, alongside other health benefits. “Foods that contain high levels of polyphenols act as some of the best prebiotics. They include dark chocolate, green tea, red wine and berries.” According to UK researcher Glenn R. Gibson (who introduced the term prebiotics to the scientific world), “prebiotics are safe, efficacious and user-friendly. They can also be used prophylactically [and] as an adjunct to existing therapy.” Indeed, some of the proven health benefits of regularly consuming prebiotics include: Improved immune health and reduced inflammation Reduction in diarrhea and constipation Reduced risk of allergies Improved mineral absorption Improved metabolic health (insulin resistance, blood lipid levels) Increased satiety Protective effects against cardiovascular disease and colon cancer as well as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and Crohn’s disease. A low consumption of prebiotics may be detrimental to human gut health, resulting in a lower production of short chain fatty acids, increased intestinal permeability and increased pathogen infection. Apples, garlic, chicory: all important prebiotic foods Common prebiotic fibres include: inulin, human milk oligosaccharides found naturally in breast milk, galato-oligosaccharides (GOS), and fructo-olgiosaccharides (FOS). Luckily, prebiotics are found in a variety of foods. So, which are the best for you to consume? The 15 best prebiotics We can split the most beneficial prebiotics into four main food groups: vegetables, fruits, legumes/grains and seeds. Try to add some from each group into your diet – eat them on a regular basis and you should start to feel the benefits. Vegetables 1. Onions A staple vegetable and cheap to buy, onions are rich in the polyphenol quercetin and contain about 10 per cent inulin fibre by weight. They also contain the prebiotics fructan and FOS. These have both been shown to increase the amounts of beneficial bacteria and the short chain fatty acid butyrate production in the intestines. 2. Leeks Leeks, like onions, also belong to the Allium family and they contain up to 16 per cent inulin fibre by weight. Leeks are also high in the antioxidant kaempferol which has anti-cancer, anti inflammatory and antimicrobial properties. Furthermore, they’re also rich in vitamins B6, C and K, as well as folate and manganese. 3. Garlic A tasty condiment that has antimicrobial effects, garlic is one of the best prebiotics you can add to your diet. It contains inulin and FOS and has been found to stimulate the growth of beneficial Bifidobacteria and may reduce gastrointestinal disease. Eating garlic in its raw state has even more health benefits for your immune and digestive systems. 4. Jerusalem artichokes Although their name is deceiving, this tuber vegetable is actually related to sunflowers and not globe artichokes. Jerusalem artichokes are high in inulin which feeds beneficial bacteria and can be eaten cooked or raw. RELATED: The gut-brain axis 5. Chicory root Chicory root is one of the richest sources of the prebiotic inulin and is often used as a caffeine-free coffee replacement. Chicory can decrease constipation, increase beneficial bifidobacteria and improve gut function. Incredibly, it contains almost 65 per cent of fibre by weight, making it one of the best prebiotics you can consume. “A tasty condiment that has antimicrobial effects, garlic is one of the best prebiotics you can add to your diet. Eating it raw has even more health benefits for your immune and digestive systems.” 6. Asparagus Asparagus is rich in antioxidants and fibre, especially inulin. Furthermore, the polysaccharides found in asparagus may be protective against liver cancer. Its prebiotic benefits are more potent when eaten raw. Fruits 7. Bananas Bananas are rich in carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals. Consuming bananas has been shown to increase beneficial bifidobacteria in the gut. In fact, eating unripe green bananas may confer even more benefits as they contain high amounts of resistant starch, which exerts prebiotic effects, and may also reduce insulin resistance. 8. Apples Apples are high in antioxidants, vitamins A, C, E, folate, and potassium as well as the fibre pectin. The fibre in apples along with their phenol content – which have prebiotic effects on the gut – can improve digestion and lipid metabolism. For the most nutritional benefit, be sure to eat the peel where the antioxidant content is the highest. Compared to conventionally grown apples, organic apples have been found to harbor less pathogenic bacteria and more beneficial bacteria like Lactobacilli, offering additional probiotics. So, skip the apple juice and eat the whole fruit for the best prebiotic benefits. Legumes and grains 9. Chickpeas Chickpeas, like other legumes such as lentils and beans, contain various types of prebiotic fibres, including FOS, GOS and fructans. GOS consumption can lead to increased bifidobacteria levels in the gut, whereas fructans have been shown to increase lactic acid bacteria. To enjoy their prebiotic benefits, chickpeas can be eaten boiled, canned or used as a flour in baked goods. RELATED: How to heal your gut 10. Wheat bran Wheat bran is the hard outer layer of the wheat kernel and is high not only in fibre but also starch, protein, vitamins, and minerals. It’s a major source of cereal fibre intake in Western countries and one of the best prebiotics because it contains arabinoxylan-oligosaccharides. These exert a pronounced prebiotic effect that can improve stools and transit, lead to a healthy gut environment, and increase the amount of beneficial bacteria as well as short chain fatty acid production in the gut. 11. Oats Oats contain one of the best prebiotics studied called beta-glucan. Of all the types of oats, oat bran has the highest fibre and beta-glucan content. The prebiotics in oats have been shown to increase beneficial bifidobacteria species in the gut, which can also reduce plasma cholesterol concentrations. Consuming oatmeal porridge has also been shown to improve the gut microbiota composition. The beta-glucan found in oats also have anticancer properties and may improve blood sugar. 12. Barley Barley, like oats and wheat, contains the prebiotic beta-glucan and can also lower blood sugar. Additionally, studies have shown that barley can increase short chain fatty acid production in the gut and can significantly change the gut microbiota composition, such as increasing Lactobacillus strains in the gut. Beta-glucans found in barley have also been shown to reduce total and LDL cholesterol. Seeds 13. Flaxseeds Flaxseeds are rich in fiber, the omega 3 fatty acid alpha linoleic acid (ALA), lignans and antioxidants that promote regular bowel movements and regulate blood sugar. One study showed that the gut microbiota fermented the flaxseed fibre into short chain fatty acids which were protective against obesity. Due to its high omega 3 content, it’s best to eat flaxseeds raw so that cooking doesn’t oxidize the fatty acids. Lignans may prevent certain cancers, especially hormone-related cancers, as they’ve been found to regulate estrogen levels. Apples contain powerful prebiotics shutterstock/ShotPrime Studio 14. Walnuts Walnuts are packed with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and essential fatty acids including ALA. Consuming walnuts regularly (43g/day, or about 3oz) has been shown to enhance probiotic and butyric acid-producing species in the gut. In addition to its fibre content, the prebiotic effect may come from the main polyphenols in walnuts, ellagitannins. Besides positively affecting the gut microbiota composition, walnuts can also reduce LDL cholesterol. RELATED: Good mood foods Other 15. Polyphenols Polyphenols are plant components necessary for the plant’s survival that benefit our overall health and recently have been found to have prebiotic effects on the gut microbiota. Common polyphenols are often found in so-called “superfoods” that include flavonoids, tannins, curcumins, and resveratrol. The foods that contain high levels of polyphenols that act as some of the best prebiotics include dark chocolate, caffeinated and decaffeinated green tea, red wine, and berries. For example, consuming cacao flavonols has been shown to increase beneficial bifidobacteria and Lactobacilli in the gut. Other benefits polyphenols exert include decreasing inflammation and pathogenic bacteria and increasing short chain fatty acid production in the gut. They also have antimicrobial properties in the gut and may also improve cardiovascular health. Round up: the best prebiotics Despite the positive impact fibre consumption has on the gut microbiome and digestive health, most people in Western countries do not consume the recommended 25-30 grams of fiber per day. Additionally, low carb diets have become popular which may have detrimental effects on the gut since they tend to be low in the best prebiotics. Current studies suggest that consuming between 2.5-10g of prebiotics a day is needed to experience their health benefits. On the other hand, consuming high doses (40-50g/ day) may cause gas and diarrhea, so be careful when adding them to your diet. Although many processed foods such as yogurt or infant formula now contain prebiotics, focusing on including some of the best prebiotics into your diet is an easy and effective way to support your overall gut and physical health. • Main image: shutterstock/Tatjana Baibakova happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ support and share in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy classes Organic food | Gluten-free | Intolerances | Raw food Written by Allison Clark Allison is a freelance writer and nutritionist and has written various peer review papers about the role the gut microbiota plays in health, disease and endurance exercise performance. Allison is passionate about the role diet and the gut microbiota play in health and disease. Find out more.

If you find yourself in a comparison trap due to the constant media messages of an ‘ideal’ body type, you’re not alone. Sonia Vadlamani explains how a positive body image can help counteract the dissatisfaction we may feel towards our bodies and offers up eight steps for developing it. Body image pertains to what people think and feel about their own body and shape. It is a complex perception, encompassing one’s emotions and resulting attitudes, beliefs and thought patterns regarding their appearance, body shape, weight and the way they move, etc. More and more people are struggling with maintaining a positive body image. What is positive body image? Typically, if an individual is satisfied with their body image, it’s known as positive body image. And having positive body image entails some or all of the following: Acknowledging one’s body for the way it is and accepting the way it looks as a ‘whole’ embodiment of themselves. Being grateful for what the body can do. Having a secure body image and leading a healthy lifestyle to nourish and strengthen it. Having a comprehensive outlook on beauty. Being confident and positive from within. With media messages focused on specific body types regularly bombarding us, it’s easy to feel dissatisfied with our body and overall appearance. As I have experienced on a personal level, this dissatisfaction with one’s shape or form – also known as negative body image – not only makes you feel unattractive and affects psychological well-being, but it can also adversely affect your physical health. Avoid comparisons and appreciate your body However, during my efforts to improve my sense of satisfaction with my body, I learnt that a positive body image required me to understand that my self-worth and confidence came from within. I realized I need not be determined by my body type or appearance. What is negative body image? In contrast, negative body image refers to one’s dissatisfaction with their body and form. Those living with negative body image also tend to experience ‘body dissatisfaction’, or the disparity between an individual’s perceived current body size and their perceived ideal body size. RELATED: Body positivity – loving my shape Perceived or ‘self-rated’ health is a crucial predictor of both one’s physical and mental health. Indeed, an analysis of Norwegian data from a WHO survey by Eivind Meland et al revealed that that body dissatisfaction is a predominant indicator of perceived negative health. The unrealistic ‘standards’ for one’s weight and appearance that are prevalent today may contribute towards negative perceptions of body image, especially among adolescents. Furthermore, a negative body image can lead to eating disorders such as binge eating, bulimia and anorexia, in addition to the health conditions like Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and anxiety. 8 steps to developing positive body image If you’re struggling with body positivity, then changing how you perceive your body will not happen overnight. However, by following some or all of the following steps you can learn to appreciate and love the body you were born with, and begin to develop a healthier body image. 1. Accept that nobody is perfect According to clinical psychologist Elizabeth Halsted, avoiding the perfectionism trap or ideals which are (nearly) impossible to achieve is one of the most crucial components of developing a positive body image. This involves reminding yourself constantly that beauty is not ‘skin deep’ and has more to do with how you feel and your state of mind. A quick review of people you admire can help reinforce the fact that everyone has flaws, and that those who embrace them instead of hiding them tend to have the most attractive personalities. 2. Change the way you think about your body Implement positive self-talk and acknowledge the great aspects of your body. Practise saying, “I am proud of the changes my body has endured” instead of, “I hate my cellulite”, and “I have strong legs which support me through the day”, instead of, “I have flabby thighs”. This will also help you see yourself as a ‘whole’ person, rather than focusing solely on less-than-perfect body parts. 3. Consciously avoid the comparison trap It’s alarmingly easy to compare ourselves with the ideas of the venerated and 'perfect' bodies displayed on billboards, advertisements and social media. However, avoiding such social comparisons is one of the three intervention measures that can aid in developing a positive body image, as per researchers Posavac, et al. The allegation that media imposes unreasonable standards of beauty and appearance on consumers is not new by any means, but the advent of social media has amplified the effect. Try developing a critical view of the messages and ideas that social media tries to impose on you. “Avoiding the perfectionism trap or ideals which are impossible to achieve is one of the most crucial components of developing a positive body image.” If the messages being conveyed make you feel bad about your body, it may be in your best interest to avoid these sources altogether. Additionally, you can also try being vocal about the lack of representation for more realistic body types, so that the advertisers and brands may take note and bring the necessary change by embracing body positivity. 4. List 10 things you like about yourself Jot down ten things that you admire about yourself that are not related to your appearance or body weight. Refer to the list every day and add more points as you go. As Nataly Kogan – author of Happier Now points out – treating oneself as a friend allows them to relax their degree of self-criticism and helps them realize their strengths and the perceived nature of their ‘flaws’. Body positivity: love what you see in the mirror 5. Be nice to yourself Practising self-love consistently can boost body positivity by enabling one to realize that they are worthy of love and praise. The benefits of self-compassion are backed by research. Indeed, being kind to yourself and using self-reassurance can improve heart health, reduce signs of stress and anxiety, and instill better decision-making skills. Make positive self-talk a daily practice and create a self-care ritual that makes you feel appreciated and valued. RELATED: How to practise self-compassion – 6 proven techniques 6. Reorganize your closet People with body dissatisfaction issues often hold on to clothing in different sizes, hoping or fearing they’d need it one day ‘just in case’. Renowned body image counsellor Lori Osachy likens this scenario to being trapped in a “negative body image prison”, and recommends reorganizing your closet with clothes that fit you currently so that you feel more comfortable and beautiful the way you are. 7. Create a healthy lifestyle Research shows that efforts to build a positive body image can help individuals fulfill their health goals and improve their lifestyle. Instead of chasing the imposed standards of the perfect body type, try focusing on building an active and healthful lifestyle. Including wholesome, gut-friendly foods like lean meats and fresh produce in your diet, along with regular exercise can contribute towards an improved sense of satisfaction with one’s body image. 8. Spend time with positive-minded people Being around people who refrain from being judgmental or stereotypical, and that help you remember that there is more to you than your physical attributes can do wonders for body positivity. Find optimistic people who have a bright outlook towards life. Indeed, our choices and decisions are largely the result of the people who surround us and influence us. Round-up: positive body image Today’s fast-paced and consumerism-driven media inundates us with certain ‘ideals’ for body weight, size and appearance. Body dissatisfaction is often deeply ingrained from a tender age, and thus developing a positive body image may require you to oppose your default mode of self-perception at first. Cultivating a positive body image can be hard and may require you to constantly reevaluate how you view yourself but is certainly doable and rewarding. Incorporate the steps above in your daily routine to gradually embrace body positivity. • Main image: shutterstock/Jacob Lund happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Positive psychology | Healthy eating | Acceptance Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Listening to mindfulness podcasts is a great new way of discovering more about the practice while you're relaxing or on the go. Dee Marques shares her top seven podcasts about staying mindful that can boost your well-being, enrich your life and inspire you further. Are you searching for the best mindfulness podcast but overwhelmed by all the choices online? You're not the only one! Indeed, podcasts have experienced a tremendous surge in popularity recently. Estimates suggest there are more than 800,000 podcast shows available worldwide, and in the UK, it’s thought that more than 7 million people listen to a podcast regularly. Meanwhile, in the US, almost one in three of the population tune in to at least one podcast each month. But podcasts aren’t the only thing that’s growing at a tremendous pace: mindfulness has also become one of the most popular trends in the world of spirituality and well-being. With this in mind, it’s hardly surprising that the number of mindfulness podcasts just keeps increasing – making it harder to find the best one to fit your lifestyle! Why choose a podcast about mindfulness? So, what exactly makes mindfulness podcasts so appealing? After all, there are some great mindfulness apps and mindfulness books that you can use to develop your practice. Well, it’s all a matter of convenience and lifestyle fit. Apps are designed to be mostly interactive in that you need to be paying attention to your phone or tablet. Something similar happens with books – you cannot read a book and at do something else at the same time (and that wouldn't be very mindful!). On the other hand, mindfulness podcasts are much more convenient because they allow you to multi-task. That may seem to go against the whole essence of mindfulness (!), but it can be useful considering how busy we are. You can download episodes so you can listen to them during the daily commute, while you're working out, or when you’re busy with household chores, etc. Also, podcasts tap into our social nature because they’re usually delivered in a conversational format. Another advantage of mindfulness podcasts is that they bring together different points of view and insights that can enrich our learning journey. The best mindfulness podcasts to listen to in 2023 With an ever increasing number of podcasts to choose from, it can be hard to decide which one you should listen to first. We’d like to make things easier for you, so – in no particular order – here’s our selection of the best mindfulness podcasts to listen to in 2023. Let us know what you think of them after you've listened, or what your other favourites are, down in the comments below. Happy listening. 1. 10% Happier First in our list of outstanding mindfulness podcasts is 10% Happier. This podcast is hosted by Dan Harris, a journalist who experienced first hand the benefits of mindfulness and meditation in treating anxiety. Far from only giving his personal views, Dan Harris’ podcast features guest interviews who bring a rich range of views and experiences that will appeal to a wide audience. This podcast will be of interest to people who are sceptical about the benefits of mindfulness, or to those who think that this practice is at odds with being an ambitious high achiever. If you’d like to know more about how to use mindfulness to be both productive and kind, this is the right podcast for you. 2. Mindfulness Mode Mindfulness Mode is an interview-based podcast focusing on both the practical and scientific aspects of mindfulness. The host is Bruce Langford, an established coach who specialises in helping others focus on their goals, manage stress, and achieve higher levels of personal and professional development. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged The podcast features interviews with experts and discusses how to apply mindfulness to different aspects of our lives. Past episodes have covered topics like using mindful listening, mindfulness in corporate settings, and how to apply mindfulness to improve sports performance. 3. Tara Brach Podcast Tara Brach is an author, teacher, and practitioner who runs meditation retreats and workshops in Europe and the United States. She’s also a recognized figure in the world of Buddhism and other Eastern spiritual practices. After years of intensive practice and research, she's now considered a leading authority in the use of mindfulness strategies in psychotherapy. • JOIN US! Sign-up to happiness.com and connect with our caring community • In addition to running online mindfulness courses, she hosts an incredibly popular podcast that gets more than 1.5 million downloads every month – definitely one of the greatest mindfulness podcasts out there judging by the those figures. Her podcast episodes come in a variety of formats, from short talks to guided Tara Brach meditations. 4. The Rubin Mindfulness Meditation This podcast is run by the Rubin Museum of Art. Based in New York City, this institution has made its mission to share with others information about the values, beliefs, and culture of Himalayan cultures. As such, mindfulness plays a crucial role in the museum’s ethos, to the point that they broadcast weekly podcast episodes on this topic. RELATED: Mindfulness vs meditation – what's the definition The podcast is designed to appeal to people from all walks of life, whether they already have some knowledge of mindfulness or not. Each podcast lasts 45 minutes and approximately half of it is devoted to a guided mindfulness meditation session delivered by expert teachers. This is a real bonus if you want a practical element to your mindful podcast which you can enjoy there and then. 5. On Being On Being is an award-winning podcast created by Krista Tippett. This show was launched with the intention of being a digital gathering place for anyone interested in taking a more mindful and spiritual approach to what it means to be human. While the podcast doesn’t exclusively focus on mindfulness, awareness of being is at the core of it and is also one of the key elements involved in developing a mindfulness practice. “You can download mindfulness podcasts and listen to them during the daily commute, while you're working out, or when you’re busy with household chores.” This podcast has more than 200 million downloads and has been aired for 17 years – quite a feat in itself, which definitely speaks of its popularity. On Being is delivered in conversation format, and former guests have included best-selling authors, philosophers, and spiritual leaders such as Elizabeth Gilbert, Alain de Botton and Desmond Tutu. 6. Untangle Untangle is another interview-based podcast that releases new episodes every Tuesday. This podcast is co-hosted by former social media executive Patricia Karpas and Ariel Garten, who is known for developing a headband that helps improve the quality of meditation sessions. RELATED: The 5 best happiness apps to improve well-being After experiencing the transformative benefits of mindfulness in their own lives, the hosts decided to launch a podcast to help other people reap the same benefits. Episodes last anything between 25 and 45 minutes and the interviews discuss the real life applications of mindfulness. 7. The Mindful Coping Podcast You may want to tune into the Mindful Coping podcast to learn how your mindfulness practice can help you cope with the stress of daily life. Your host is Jeff Krisman, who has been studying and practising mindfulness for over two decades. RELATED: Happiness podcasts – 8 that we rate In each episode, Jeff shares valuable insights on how mindfulness has helped him cope with difficult situations: from handling stress during the festive season to being overwhelmed by self-pity or disappointment. This podcast is characterised by a very relatable human-to-human tone that makes it very easy and pleasant to listen to. Mindfulness podcasts: a useful tool to live better Podcasts are convenient way of stepping up your mindfulness practice, or to get started with one. One of their main advantages is that you can listen to them while you work on other things. These shows deliver valuable insights that can help you live better and happier. We hope you’ll be able to find a podcast that speaks to you in our selection of best mindfulness podcasts. Happy listening! ● Main image: shutterstock/Flamingo Images Do you listen to any of these mindfulness podcasts? We'd love to know which are your favourites. Let the community know in the comments below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Stress management | Music | Depression Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

By improving your emotional and sexual intimacy with a partner, you can boost your overall happiness levels. So, from talking more to avoiding secrets, here are nine ways you can improve intimacy through better connection. Are you looking to increase your intimacy with a partner? Or have you ever wondered why more intimacy could improve your overall well-being? The reality is that if you feel good about yourself, then the rest will follow, and it's just as much about what we say and how we act towards our partners as it is about sex. Obviously, sex leads to excitement and gratification. But what's equally as important is the closeness afterwards; mindfulness and cuddling, that helps to improves intimacy and well-being. A tiring day can take its toll. Having your partner to talk to at the end of it is both rewarding and stress-reducing. There are many other factors which can help with feeling good and boosting intimacy; a spontaneous kiss or hug, for example. Being sympathetic towards your partner’s feelings by responding to their mood will improve mutual well-being and harmony. Outlined below are nine techniques you can try that will increase the intimate part of your relationship and, in turn, your overall happiness quota. Increasing intimacy: 9 tips 1. Talk openly with your partner According to The National Centre for Biotechnology Information, relationships, whether they are short- or long-term, will affect us in many ways. One factor to consider is the depth and quality of the partnership. The research from the Centre shows that both physical and mental health can be affected. Indeed, children from unhappy or broken homes will find it harder to give themselves totally to a loving relationship by increasing intimacy. This lack results in friction between partners. It's considered to be a difficult problem to overcome, but honesty is always best. Talk openly together: a sympathetic lover will understand and take their time to resolve issues. Talking openly is essential for an intimate relationship 2. Boost your passion levels There are many ways of increasing intimacy. Psychologist Robert J. Sternberg, quoted in an article by Susan K Perry Ph.D., discovered that, after carrying out a survey, physical intimacy was the most typical method. One of the reasons given was the lover's facial expressions: the closeness of giving oneself completely during lovemaking also helps to better well-being. Of course, sometimes it's enough just to be together, caressing and kissing. Just because this doesn't ultimately lead to intercourse, it's no less erotic or satisfying. RELATED: Want a happy sex life? Here are the 4 key secrets 3. Understand your emotions, and that of your partner According to UWire, it's important to understand your emotions so you can talk together about more complex feelings. Indeed, it's especially important for couples to have emotional intimacy as well as sexual intimacy, to find a greater bond, without stress, which improves well-being. Think about it: it's not always that both partners feel like making love at the same time, so compromise is one key to increasing intimacy. In fact, showing consideration and kindness will go a long way to improving and maintaining a relationship. If your partner is too tired, then a gentle massage with scented oils will arouse the senses and reduce stress. Perhaps they've had a bad day? Talk with your partner and try to understand their emotions to boost your mutual connection and improve intimacy levels. 4. Spend time together and do something different Happiness is an essential feature in both increasing intimacy and, of course, to make you feel happier. A research paper from the Harvard Medical School showed that by being grateful for life and everything it throws at us is the best way to see the goodness in ourselves. This gratitude, in turn, helps us to connect with others; to show them kindness and to understand their feelings better. “Showing consideration and kindness will go a long way to improving a relationship. Talk with your partner and try to understand their emotions to boost your mutual connection and improve intimacy levels.” Also, it improves health, the ability to deal with problems, and helps to develop strong relationships. And this applies not just to our partners, but to everyone. Many couples find that simply by doing things together, such as playing golf, tennis, travelling, being in nature, or simply walking the dog, can improve well-being which, in turn, can lead to increased intimacy. Indeed, don't get too used to the comfort zone of coming home after work, eating and watching Netflix together. While this shared time is enjoyable, getting out of your home and trying new activities will boost your connection further! 5. Tell each other your secrets Having secrets creates distrust, resulting in arguments, stress and, potentially, health problems. It's important to remember to listen and not to judge. When your partner tells you their secrets, they're doing it to unburden themselves as well as find understanding. Be mindful of just how difficult it is to talk about sensitive subjects. Listen carefully and be constructive with your questions and responses. This way many problems that have occurred can be resolved. Have fun by asking each other these ‘36 Questions That Lead to Love’ and get closer to each other while doing so. Remember: sharing your innermost thoughts and being able to compromise is crucial for mutual well-being. Sharing is caring: don't hide secrets Unsplash 6. Open up to increase mindfulness It's important not to try to change your partner, after all, this is the person that you fell in love with. You might find that you wouldn’t like them any other way! Be non-judgmental, kind, and sensitive to their feelings at all times. This will bring you closer together, thus increasing intimacy. By being open with each other, you will learn to sense when something is troubling them. RELATED: What is Intimacy Anorexia? Also, avoid confrontational moments by simply asking how they are feeling. This sort of relationship will improve well-being and harmonious coexistence. Each person will feel that they can be themselves. The same should hold true in the bedroom. Exchange ideas about what you both enjoy. This type of mindfulness will go a long way towards increasing intimacy and openness. 7. Think about getting a pet Sometimes opposites attract. How we interact together in a partnership depends very much on each individual and their need for personal space. This understanding also explains why some people transfer their affections to, for example, dogs. A 1997 study, 'Why Do People Love Their Pets?’ by J Archer, showed that people can sometimes give their pets far more affection than they do family members. “It's especially important for couples to have emotional intimacy as well as sexual intimacy, to find a greater bond, without stress, which improves well-being.” Pets are also beneficial to our health. For example, the act of stroking can lower blood pressure, reduce loneliness and give you a sense of being. Going for a walk with your dog is another example. Good exercise aside; it allows us to interact with otherwise complete strangers, brought together by a love of animals. RELATED: The healing power of pets – 6 key health benefits 8. Consider having more routine Some of us think that predictability is boring, while others relish it. However, Robert J. Sternberg, a Professor of Human Development at Cornell University, found that it can actually help in increasing intimacy. His quote in Susan K Perry PhD's article, states that: 'the partners are so connected with each other that the one doesn't recognize the other is there, just as the air we breathe can be taken for granted, despite its necessity to life'. Over time, we can become complacent about our partners' good and bad points. Often we know each other so well, we can live our lives together in complete harmony. However, getting into a rut should be avoided. Sending quality time boosts intimacy shutterstock/Syda Prodcutions 9. Happiness and kindness are of major importance By giving to others, we're far more likely to receive the same back. For example, a child brought up in a loving family environment where hugging and kissing are the norm is more likely to grow into an adult that's willing and happy to show affection. Mary Jo Kreitzer, PhD, states that all relationships, casual or intimate, are essential to our feeling of happiness. This, in turn, helps children to grow into open-minded, confident individuals. Bean Robinson, PhD, in the same article, states that: ‘We are very social creatures. In terms of sex, there seems to be a real need for touch and connection’. Being aware of this can lead the way to increasing intimacy. In order to boost well-being by improving intimacy, it's important to have positive feelings about yourself. Be open and thoughtful towards your partner, while at the same time appreciating the wonderful times together and putting any unhappy memories firmly in the past. ● Main image shutterstock/Roman Chazov happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Communication skills | Learning | Relationship advice Written by Guest Author We're happy to publish articles by guest authors that will broaden the perspective and bring new insights. If you're interested in publishing an article here on happiness.com, please contact us.

Can our mindset radically affect our choices and determine the course of our lives? Sonia Vadlamani explains the importance of a life of abundance and shares eight simple yet effective ways to cultivate abundance mindset. When Henry Ford famously stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right”, he was emphasizing how our attitude and beliefs determine our success or failure. While we may not realize it, self-limiting thoughts can have a lasting negative impact on our lives, whereas positive reinforcements and a bright outlook on life can help us make better choices, thus resulting in successful outcomes. The term 'abundance mindset' was first coined by Stephen R Covey in 1989, in his best-selling book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. According to Covey, those choosing an abundance mindset believe that there are unlimited resources available for every individual, and that long-term success warrants creation of a win-win situation for all. Abundance mindset vs scarcity mindset In contrast, Covey refers to scarcity mindset as viewing life as a limited resource, wherein one can get only a share of the pie, while the rest is reserved for others. Those with scarcity mindset believe there just isn’t enough love, time, or money out there for everyone: each thought and every action of theirs is an endeavor to grab the limited opportunities. Adopt a mindset of abundance for positive changes shutterstock/sun ok An experimental study based on neuroimaging revealed that abundance mindset enables individuals to make goal-oriented decisions. On the contrary, those with scarcity mindset perceive limited resources to be available to them, which may impact their decision-making abilities adversely. • INTERESTED IN SELF-GROWTH? Sign-up for free courses in our happiness Academy • A victim of the scarcity mindset myself until a few years ago, it took me a while to realize that I was limiting myself by remaining in the ‘if only’ trap – assuming that my life would be perfect if only I earned a certain amount of money, bagged that exclusive contract, went on that dream vacation, etc. When I eventually realized that my scarcity mindset was confining me in a victim complex, I consciously looked for ways to expand my awareness and recognize all the growth opportunities around myself. Indeed, escaping the scarcity bubble might seem impossible at first, but consistent focus and determined action plan drawn towards developing an abundance mindset helps immensely. “Self-limiting thoughts can have a lasting negative impact on our lives, whereas positive reinforcements and a bright outlook can help us make better choices.” Sometimes, it may be easy to confuse scarcity mindset with a temporary setback, like being in financial shortfall. Being broke could be a short-lived situation in your life – in fact, not having access to everything you ever desired could prove to be a valuable lesson and help you to be grateful for everything you do have. How is abundance mindset beneficial? Abundance mindset is believed to favor personal and spiritual growth. Psychology professor Carol Dweck revealed that people with “growth mindset” believe that talent is merely the starting point and abilities can be honed with consistent efforts towards betterment. These individuals tend to be more equipped to deal with stressful situations and believe in their ability to generate more successful outcomes as compared to those with a 'fixed mindset'. Individuals with abundance mindset are perceived to be: more creative and inspired to create favorable outcomes for everyone around unfazed even through adverse circumstances more assured about their ability to create high-value results of an amplified magnitude more focused on creating meaningful, unhindered, satisfying life experiences 8 ways to develop an abundance mindset Here are some practical and effective ways to start creating a life of abundance. Incorporate them into your life and try to witness positive changes. 1. Believe in infinite possibilities Those with an abundance mindset can perceive the highest potential in every situation. While scarcity mindset imposes a perceived limit on the resources available, there are always more options, great possibilities and unlimited resources for the abundance-minded. Training your mind to see limitless opportunities in place of shortcomings can be a gradual process. You can start by deliberately expanding your awareness while relaxing your focus, and then asking yourself how you could approach a situation from a different perspective, in a scenario where you know you couldn’t fail. 2. Understand the power of your thoughts “What you think, you become. The mind is everything,” Buddha taught us. The law of manifestation asserts that our inner world reflects our outer reality, and that our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions determine what we manifest into the physical world around us. Taking time to notice the kind of self-limiting or scarcity-based thoughts you experience would allow you to identify your thought patterns and shift them gradually towards abundance. Abundance encourages the best version of you shutterstock/KieferPix 3. Stop comparing yourself to others Scarcity mindset can compel individuals to constantly evaluate how they compare with others. However, those with abundance mindset tend to only compare themselves with regards to the vision and standards they set for their own selves. 4. Incorporate gratitude as a daily practice Gratitude is a powerful emotion for creating abundance. In fact, there is ample scientific research that establishes the benefits of gratitude as a daily practice, like improved mental health, stronger relationships, and enhanced personal happiness. RELATED: Top 5 benefits of gratitude practice Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the easiest ways to integrate gratefulness as a daily ritual and harness the benefits of an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude meditation can also help you build a habitual focus on appreciation of good things in life. 5. Build win-win situations for all Those with scarcity mindset view life as a defined 'cake' and believe that if someone gets a big slice of the cake, the others are left with smaller portions. Abundance mentality views life as a sum of collaborative efforts instead of competitive endeavors. Creating win-win solutions through interaction and collaboration can lead to mutually favorable results – this way, there is plenty of cake for everybody. 6. Be willing to learn According to Covey, the desire for learning and growth towards mastery experiences forms the basis for abundance mindset. The key to abundance is to make learning a habit and to create mastery experiences in at least one area of your interest. “Abundance mindset is believed to favor personal and spiritual growth. People with growth mindset believe that talent is merely the starting point and abilities can be honed with consistent efforts towards betterment.” James Clear, the author of the best-selling book The Power of Habit explains how the principle of ‘marginal gains’ or tiny improvements on a daily basis can aggregate over time. This brings about a dramatic shift in how we achieve successful results. Indeed, by making 1 per cent improvements in small areas in your life consistently, you could witness exponential growth and create remarkable results for yourself as well as others around you. 7.Create daily affirmations that encourage abundance Scarcity mindset stems from fear; be it the fear of inadequate resources or insufficient skill to achieve one’s goals, etc. An experimental study by J. David Creswell et al pointed out the benefits of self-affirmation in the form of improved problem-solving abilities even in stressful situations. RELATED: How to find meaning in life - 7 strategies Using daily affirmations can help bring about a gradual yet steady shift in your mindset from scarcity to abundance. Start with jotting down your fears and worries. This will help you expand your awareness. Next, make a suitable action plan as a response to these concerns in a way that will enable you to overcome your fear of failure, so you can lead a more meaningful and fulfilling life. 8. Surround yourself with others with abundance mindset “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” stated Jim Rohn, and with good reason. Accordingly, choose to invest your time and resources in building a community of people who elevate your outlook on life and bring out the best in you. • FIND YOUR TRIBE! Join our curious and caring community and make new friends • This will also help you minimize the unproductive time spent with ‘negative nellies’ or unsupportive and unproductive people who add no value to your life and only create stressful situations instead. Surrounding yourself with positive-minded and empowering people will help you develop an abundance mindset. Takeaway: abundance mindset An abundance mindset can have a positive effect on our physical health, emotional well-being, happiness, relationships and even our financial decisions. Keeping that scarcity mindset at bay might seem difficult to begin with, but by following the eight tips above you´ll be able to see that abundance mindset develop and shine through. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Positive psychology | Learning | Motivation Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Incorporate the power of visualization into your meditation practice. Ann Vrlak explains the benefits of using your imagination while meditating and guides you in two practices. Visualization meditation is an enjoyable and powerful way to harness your imagination in meditation. This form of meditation is different from visualization itself. Here’s how. You may have heard that elite athletes like the swimmer Michael Phelps or basketball legend Michael Jordon have used visualization. They both learned to visualize themselves achieving a particular goal: finishing the freestyle in World Record time or sinking a winning three-pointer just before the buzzer. RELATED: 8 manifestation techniques But why? Well, these sports stars were able to capitalize on an interesting fact about the brain. It can’t always distinguish between something you imagine you're doing and something you’re actually doing. The same neurons fire in your brain in either case, so visualizing the activity in your mind makes it much easier to do in reality – because your brain has already practised it! Amazing, eh? That’s visualization, and you can see why it’s a common tool for people who want to excel in their field. So, what is visualization meditation? Visualization meditation is different. It uses this considerable power of visualization in service of a traditional meditative goal such as developing concentration or compassion, or connecting with a peaceful, space inside yourself. Using visualization during meditation can enhance your practice For example, I use visualization meditation a lot with children because their imagination is so accessible to them. It gives them a fun way to visualize and understand abstract concepts, like freedom or focus or peacefulness. And, for many adults, visualization meditation changes a black and white experience to one in vivid, 3D colour. This practice helps to evoke the emotional and sensory aspects of your experience. It’s markedly different, for example, to think about the concept of loving-kindness in the abstract than to feel loving-kindness for your partner or your beloved pet, isn’t it? The visualization helps you to connect with the experience beyond the concept. That’s the key. “For many adults, visualization meditation changes a black and white experience to one in vivid, 3D colour.” This form of meditation is a helpful bridge to the many people who find the mental focus of meditation difficult. For them, the instruction to focus on their breath or a mantra or on silence itself is too abstract – they don’t grasp what they need to do. However, visualization meditation allows you to use skills you’re familiar with to learn something unfamiliar. Benefits of visualization meditation The benefits of visualization meditation, especially if you practice with some regularity, are the same as other meditation practices: Increased focus Reduction in anxiety and stress, and even depression Resting and rejuvenating your nervous system Increasing energy and boosting the immune system Better sleep More self-compassion and empathy for others Visualization meditations you can try Here are two visualization meditations that use traditional meditation concepts: observing thoughts and emotions in a non-judgmental way, and deepening compassion for yourself and others. 1) Non-judgmental observation This relaxing meditation helps you visualize the concept of non-judgmental observation as a peaceful river. It goes like this. Close your eyes and imagine yourself lying comfortably on the banks of a slow-moving river. Create a scene that you find beautiful and safe, somewhere you can imagine yourself feeling totally at home and relaxed. Fill in the scene with as much sensory information as you can. What colours do you see around you, in the trees, in the sky, in the river itself? Do you hear birds or wind in the trees? How does the earth feel beneath you, and what do you feel on your skin? Now, imagine yourself sitting up and watching the river. You begin to see leaves, twigs and other objects floating by. You watch them come slowly out of the distance into view, and then disappear as they float away down the river. Try not to become attached to any particular object. Just notice them and let them continue on their way down the river. And imagine that your thoughts and emotions are on this river, too. They come from the distance, flow into your mind, stay for a moment and then slowly drift out of view. Play around with this image for a while. Watch how parts of your experience come and go, including any questions you have about the visualization or how you’re doing it right or wrong. These thoughts too appear and then move on, when you let them be. Notice that you’re on the shore watching all these things come and go, essentially unaffected by them. Continue doing this practice for as long as it feels enjoyable. When you’re done, reflect on this visualization meditation and your direct, sensory experience of having objectivity on your thoughts and feelings. How did it feel? Do you think this meditation could help you when you are anxious, angry or depressed? Imagining nature and colour during meditation shutterstock/RangArt 2) Loving-kindness Another practice you can try is a loving-kindness meditation to grow your compassion for yourself and others. Again, find a comfortable position lying down or sitting up, and close your eyes. Think about a challenge or difficulty you’re having right now, something that is upsetting you or causing a conflict with someone. Just for a moment, feel the upset or conflict. Breathe slowly and deeply. As you feel the situation, say these words yourself silently or out loud, as sincerely as you can: May I be happy. May I feel safe from harm. May I accept myself just as I am. May I be peaceful and at ease. Do your best to really feel the words: what it feels like to be happy, or safe, or self-accepting. Use your senses again to make this experience come to life, with what you see and hear and taste and smell. Genuinely wish these things for yourself and feel them. When you’re ready, begin to extend this loving-kindness to a person or people you care about. May my daughter Sarah be happy. May my brother Steve feel safe from harm. Or: May everyone in my family be happy. May everyone in my family be peaceful and at ease. See these people in vivid 3D, experiencing these aspects of loving-kindness that you wish so deeply for them. Let these experiences fill your being. And if these particular phrases don’t feel quite right for you, feel free to change them until they do. But, try them first, even if they feel a bit awkward. Most people pre-judge loving-kindness meditation before they even try it! Finally, if you’re one of the many people who finds it easier to care for others than themselves, you can start this meditation thinking about others, and then finish with directing loving-kindness toward yourself. You may find this easier. The wrap: visualization meditation If you’re someone who has found meditation a difficult or dry, unhelpful mental exercise, visualization meditation may be just what you need. We are multi-dimensional creatures, after all, and our emotions and deeper perceptions are what many of us find bring meaning to who we are and what we do. RELATED: Tonglen meditation I hope you’ll try these practices or try incorporating visualization into different types of meditation practices. Use the sensory tools I’ve described here to create that multi-dimensional experience for yourself, rather than letting your attention do the heavy lifting in meditation. Enjoy the power of your imagination to deepen your understanding of yourself. • Main image: shutterstock/agsan drew happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

There were plenty of feel-good health and environmental stories in December, but you may have missed them given all the negative news currently in the press. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten positive news stories from the past month to uplift and inspire. December is the traditional time for family get-togethers and merriment. Although the final month of 2020 may have been somewhat different from usual, there were many good news stories that were full of happiness, positivity and the human spirit. Read on to discover more about some of the best ones. 1. Plastic additive makes packaging biodegradable A British firm has announced that it has developed an additive that can go into new plastic products that will render them biodegradable. Polymateria has come up with a way that could end the crisis the world faces in plastics that take hundreds of years to break up. Both flexible and rigid forms of plastic can be made using the additive which, it is hoped, will do no environmental damage once disposed of. 2. Food waste targeted by tech giant With so many people around the world suffering from hunger but with global food production at an all time high, there is an undoubted problem with waste. According to some estimates, as much as a third of all groceries are thrown away by people in wealthier countries. It was reported in December that Google plans to do something about the issue by getting involved in Project Delta in the United States. The tech giant will bring its algorithmic prowess to bear in an effort to get food where it's needed when it's needed so that Americans end up throwing away less of the food they buy. At the moment, the project is focussed on commercial kitchens but it could also be advanced to help ordinary retailers and consumers. 3. Polar bears saved by court ruling A controversial offshore oil drilling project in the Arctic region has been stopped by a US federal court, according to EuroNews. The decision will safeguard the habitat and ranges of polar bears in the area, in a move that has been warmly welcomed by campaign groups. The court ruling said that the National Environmental Policy Act had not been sufficiently taken into account by the current administration when it said the offshore project could proceed. Polar bears tend to be disturbed by the noise such drilling inevitably creates. Arctic polar bears to be protected shutterstock/outdoorsman 4. Stranded truckers assisted by compassionate groups When lorry drivers were stuck in Kent, UK, unable to take cross-channel ferries to France, they were left stranded without access to basic services. However, according to local news sources, their plight was not overlooked by the local Sikh community who rallied around to deliver hot food to them. Under police supervision, the Gravesend Gurdwara delivered hundreds of free meals to the incapacitated truckers while they waited for the port to reopen. The group was assisted by Khalsa Aid, a Sikh charitable foundation. In addition, Ramsgate Football Club showed a similar level of compassion to the drivers by delivering hundreds of pizzas free of charge. 5. Mental ageing can be reversed, study suggests According to a new paper published by UC San Francisco scientists, the age-related cognitive decline that is noted in many older people need not be permanent. Indeed, SciTech Daily reported that the group had come up with a drug therapy that would mean such brain decline could be reversed. The scientists' work has focussed on a drug called ISRIB which, it was found, could restore memory function among a raft of other cognitive abilities. What's even more positive is that the drug tends to provide rapid results where brain degradation had previously been thought to be permanent. RELATED: Cognitive impairment – 5 ways to reduce the risk as you age 6. New Zealand's vaccine response includes its neighbours A report in The London Economic claimed that New Zealand had purchased enough of the anti-coronavirus vaccines to treat all of its population – as well as those of its neighbouring Pacific islands. New Zealand has a population of 5.5 million but it has bought more vaccine doses than it needs for its own citizens. This means that the Oxford University/AstraZeneca and Novavax jabs will now be issued to island states such as Tokelau, Niue, Samoa and Tuvalu. It's also thought that Tonga and the Cook Islands will benefit from the generosity of the New Zealand government. According to the country's foreign minister, the move will allow these smaller nations faster access to the vaccines as well as making the entire region safer for ordinary New Zealanders. 7. New hope for Florida's coral reefs According to the Miami Herald, the introduction of the Caribbean king crab into its coral reefs is starting to preserve them. By reducing algae growth, the corals have become healthier. The crabs have been nicknamed as reef goats because of their ability to eat everything that is unwanted and develop healthy growth. Once grown for human consumption, these crabs will now play a big part in maintaining marine biodiversity in the area. Coral reefs in Miami are becoming healthier shutterstock/Matt9122 8. Electronic devices must be tagged as repairable In a landmark move, the French government has voted for a law that will make all electronic goods manufacturers tag their products with how repairable – or otherwise – they are. The idea is that when people buy devices, they will know which ones will be repairable if something goes wrong down the line and which ones won't. In turn, it's hoped this law will encourage manufacturers to make their products longer lasting, thereby cutting down on waste and the need to constantly upgrade with newer versions of the same product. According to Times Now, it's expected that several other European Union countries will follow France's lead and introduce similar legislation. 9. Mindfulness reduces burnout among healthcare staff There can be little doubt that 2020 has been a tough year for everyone in the healthcare sector. Stress and burnout among some health professionals has been part of the problem in several countries. However, according to a report in Becker's Hospital Review, mindfulness has been deployed successfully in many healthcare settings to help caregivers. Researchers in the United States found that practising mindfulness techniques reduced burnout rates and increased engagement at work among a range of healthcare workers. Mindfulness reduces burnout in healthcare workers shutterstock/ARTFULLY PHOTOGRAPHER 10. Pygmy possum found alive and well in Australia Because of the bushfires that have engulfed Australia in recent years, it was feared that the tiny pygmy possum – the smallest species of possum – had been wiped out. Previously found in certain habitats in Tasmania and surrounding areas, the diminutive creature was thought to have become extinct by many naturalists. Indeed, The Guardian reported that almost 90 per cent of the creature's habitat had been lost to bushfires.However, a discovery on Kangaroo Island in December has raised new hopes that the species is doing better than previously thought and may make a comeback so long as it can be adequately protected. • Main image: shutterstock/LeAndr happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Positive news | Nature | Biology | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Many of us are guilty of self-criticism, and this trait ultimately makes us weaker and less capable. Self-love, on the other hand, pulls us to a larger, kinder place. Ann Vrlak explores the benefits of self-love meditation and gives you a practice to get started with. Self-love. Does the phrase make you relax and smile, or does it make you cringe? Your reaction to this question will tell you a lot about yourself and if self-love meditation is something you may want to try. Being critical of ourselves, having a lot of negative self-talk, is unfortunately all too common. But, that doesn’t make it any less damaging to our sense of well-being and happiness. Indeed, self-criticism is intimately linked with not feeling worthy of love. Somehow, somewhere along the line, many of us learned that we have to earn love, rather than it being our birthright. We feel we have to be perfect to be loved. The problem is there’s no such thing as human perfection. Interestingly, in a conversation with Western psychotherapists, the Dalai Lama was puzzled by the concept of “low self-esteem” – it was not something he recognized in Tibetan culture at all! Self-love: the two wings of meditation Your head and your heart are the two wings of meditation. The head provides step-by-step practices, context and an understanding of the goals of meditation. The heart is the environment, the space you bring to meditation. If you follow a practice, step by step, but feel unloving and self-critical, it will be an ineffectual practice indeed, not to mention a subtle kind of self-punishment. Better not to meditate at all! Reduce tension and build strength through self-love meditation Self-love meditation not only makes you happier, more creative and more resourceful, but it automatically opens your heart to others. And don’t be fooled: self-love builds strength. Self-love or self-compassion has an undeserved reputation as being weak or self-indulgent. Not so. Indeed, one expert in self-compassion, Kristen Neff, makes the case for the opposite: that it builds resilience, self-awareness and compassion for others. What are the benefits of self-love meditation? Here are just a few of the advantages to practising self-love meditation. Incorporate it into your daily schedule and you should start to feel some of the following benefits: 1. Reduces tension and anxiety Self-criticism or self-judgment feels just like criticism or judgement from someone else. It causes anger, sadness or even fear, and causes tension and anxiety. Practising self-love meditation literally helps your nervous system relax and feel safe. 2. It feels better! Continuing on from the last point: who would you prefer to spend time with? Someone who criticizes what you think, how you look, how you act? Or, someone who’s curious about you, is kind, and treats you with respect and compassion? If you prefer the latter – spoiler alert! – you can treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? 3. Brings your unconscious self-criticism into the light Many, many people resist self-love meditations. Why? Because, as I’ve already mentioned, self-criticism is seen as “normal,” to some extent at least. There are many possible reasons for this that are outside the scope of this article! For now, it’s enough to know that practising self-love meditation will show you where you are on the spectrum of self-love to self-criticism. If you are nearer to the self-criticism end, that is not something to criticize yourself for. “Self-love meditation not only makes you happier, more creative and more resourceful, but it automatically opens your heart to others.” Meditation is a tool for self-knowledge. If your self-love meditation shows you your unconscious habit of negative self-talk, it’s OK, you’re not alone! You can start to notice this self-talk, how it makes you feel and how it affects what you do. And if you want to make things better. 4. Builds strength Self-criticism essentially makes you smaller and less capable. Self-love, on the other hand, takes you to a larger, kinder viewpoint on yourself. You see your ‘weaknesses’ or limitations without feeling threatened by them. This makes change and growth something you’re naturally drawn to do – you can choose it consciously from a healthy place. 5. Rest our minds We use our minds so much, we can forget to feel. It’s healthy to ‘unplug’ your mind and remember what is most important to you. Is it to feel happy? To feel safe and loved? A self-love meditation is a simple and powerful way to take quality time for yourself, let your mind rest and immerse yourself in love and respect. A self-love meditation practice You can do this practice sitting or lying down. Get comfortable and start by following your breath for a few minutes. When you’re feeling relaxed, notice any emotions you’re having in the moment. In particular, is there any slight feeling of upset or unhappiness that you can find? For your first few sessions of the practice, it’s best to work with something small, but you be the judge of what you’re up for. If nothing comes up right now, you can bring to mind a recent situation that caused you a bit of emotional turmoil. For a few breaths, notice where that emotion is located. You might feel sadness in your throat, for example, or anger in your solar plexus. See where you physically feel your emotion most strongly. Be specific. And notice the thoughts that accompany the emotion. Do you have thoughts of self-blame, regret or unworthiness? Now, repeat one of the following statements silently or out loud. If none of the statements feel right to you, that’s OK. See if you can find another that fits and has the same message of attention and caring. Here’s the first statement. “I see you [name your emotion]. That sounds really hard, I’m sorry.” Here’s another: “I’m here. Stay as long as you like [name your emotion], you’re welcome here.” Or: “I see you [name your emotion]. I love you.” If you have resistance to these statements, welcome to the club! See if you can feel the intention and meaning of one of these statements, even for a few seconds. What does it feel like to turn toward your own discomfort with a caring attention, rather than turning away from it, or minimizing or judging it? And if you just can’t feel any self-love toward yourself, toward your own pain, does that evoke some self-compassion in you? How hard is it to move through life in this way? When you feel resistance or judgement about the practice itself, include that, too: “I see you resistance. That must be hard. I’m sorry.” You can picture someone you care about having the emotion you’re experiencing. Can you feel the compassion you naturally want to give them and direct it to yourself? Is it actually true that they are worthy of love, but you are not? It helps to realize your common humanity: whatever upsetting or difficult emotion you’re experiencing right now, there are people all over the world experiencing the same thing. Suffering in big and small ways is just part of being human; it’s not a punishment. Recognizing that many of us are worried about our aging parents or about losing our job can soften your heart toward yourself and others. Keep feeling your uncomfortable emotion and saying your loving statement. If the words just get in the way, just see if you can feel love in your heart. Let love come into contact with your suffering. Continue the practice as long as it feels comfortable, watching and listening closely for how self-love feels for you. Conclusion: self-love meditation Self-love meditation can uncover perspectives and insights that you can’t see when you’re criticizing yourself. Do this practice as a kind of call and response. Send out self-love in your chosen statement and watch for a response. If you’re not used to sending yourself love, the response could be very small or very fleeting – part of you may not “believe” what you’re sending or not want to accept it. So, really watch for, listen to, and feel any response from your heart and body: a softening, a sense of relief, a bit of gratitude. Those small signs are seeds you can nurture each time you practice self-love meditation. Main image: shutterstock/WAYHOME studio happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Burnout | Stress management | Mindfulness Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

We often forget to be kind to ourselves, but being good to yourself is essential says psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović. Discover eight self-love techniques – such as forgiveness and setting boundaries – and improve your emotional well-being. 'Please be good to yourself' is something we would like to say to our loved ones when we witness them beating themselves up. Yet, we rarely take our own advice. Unlike compassion, self-kindness often feels unnatural. In today’s society of achievements, we succumb to rationing self-love as if it were something that needs to be painstakingly deserved. However, it is not. Self-love is dynamic and expands as we grow psychologically. It is not something that you can attain through a makeover, inspirational read, career achievements, or a new relationship. It is not simply feeling good or motivated to take on the world. It is knowing and accepting yourself, being comfortable with who you are. Being good to yourself means being autonomous and centred in your life purpose and values. This article will explore the science behind self-love and self-kindness, and give you eight research-based tips on how to be good to yourself. Why being good to yourself is essential Being good to yourself is a foundational tenet of many psychological interventions. The reason? It is an essential ingredient of well-being. Through self-love, both our minds and our bodies can function optimally. For a long time, researchers and practitioners were aware of the effects of self-kindness on psychological and physical health. A recent study revealed the mechanism behind its benefits. Being good to oneself switches off our threat response, calms our heart rate, and, overall, enables us to respond flexibly to situations. Be good to yourself: self-love is essential for well-being shutterstock/kues The threat (or, the fight or flight) response to stressful situations is adaptive to a point. However, for a modern human, on most occasions, this reaction is overly intensive. After all, there isn’t a prehistoric carnivore chasing us. So, consistently practising self-love and managing to switch this extreme automatic reaction off boosts our immune system. By doing so, we give ourselves the best chance of healing and prospering. Be good to yourself: 8 self-love techniques For the majority of people, the habit of being unconstructively self-critical is deeply engrained in their psyche. Most of us expect to see results (educational, professional, or social achievements) before we can begin to love ourselves. So, being good to yourself probably won’t become your default state of mind on its own. You need to commit to practising it. Here are eight techniques you can easily incorporate into your life. Try them and hopefully you will start to see a difference. 1. Practise mindfulness Even though it’s not a panacea, mindfulness remains at the top of the list of beneficial techniques in a variety of situations. It teaches us to observe our inner world without judgement. If you want to be good to yourself, fist yu need to accept whatever it may be that you’re feeling or thinking. Mindfulness gives us the necessary self-esteem and unconditional self-acceptance we need to feel comfortable with ourselves. 2. Be honest about your weaknesses Not being perfect stings. We know. We all have an image of the ideal self in our heads. Looking at the discrepancy between who we are and who we want to be is unpleasant at the very least. Nonetheless, to be good to yourself doesn’t mean lying, flattering, or turning a blind eye to your shortcomings. Self-love means not bashing yourself over your flaws. It means building a healthier response to your failures and imperfections. Accepting that you’re not impeccable will gradually lead you to a realistic image of your self-worth. 3. Speak sincere words of self-acceptance Once you’ve brought your weaknesses and emotions to the light of the day through being mindful and truthful, you can begin to shift your attitude. When you ignore or deny your limitations, you are giving the power away. Because you don’t want that, it’s time to come up with affirmations that will resonate with your true self. “'Be good to yourself' is much more than a phrase. It is a foundational tenet of many psychological interventions.” For example, you might be facing a difficult task. Trying to convince yourself that the idea of giving up does not tempt you probably won’t work. Instead, you could try saying: “Even though this feels hard, I will be gentle with myself and simply do my best”. If you’re struggling with creating your genuine self-love statements, try thinking about what you would need to hear from someone else. What kind of supportive sentence would you believe in? 4. Forgive and self-forgive Forgiveness liberates. It’s a pearl of ancient wisdom with strong support in modern-day research. An extensive review of studies on forgiveness found that if we find it in ourselves to replace the unforgiving emotions with empathy and compassion, our bodies and minds heal. Letting go of resentment means to be good to yourself. And what about self-forgiveness? When you forgive yourself, you open the doors to growing as a person. Whether you’re feeling guilty for hurting another, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or for holding on to unhealthy habits, let go of self-hate. Forgiving yourself frees you from unconstructive self-condemnation. 5. Know your values To be good to yourself means more than self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. It means working towards fulfilling your purpose as well. Once you’ve come to peace with who you are and abandoned self-loathing, the need to realise your potentials will naturally come to the front. Forgiveness is a big part of self-love and being good to yourself shutterstock/HBRH This is when you need to be clear on what your core values are. You can try one of the life coaching tools freely available such as the “What I really value in life” or “Values and purpose” exercise to help you define what it is that moves you. 6. Practise good self-care Self-love and good self-care are closely connected. You are more likely to make healthy lifestyle choices when you’re happy with yourself and your life. This association can also work the other way round. If you commit to taking good care of yourself, you will build the basis for loving yourself more. Be good to yourself, eat healthily, exercise, sleep better, surround yourself with well-minded people, and pursue interests. But remember, it’s also very important not to be harsh on yourself when you fail to do those things. Being a perfectionist will only cause you to beat yourself up, instead of making you feel good. 7. Stop comparing yourself In the age of social media and all-around self-promotion, our natural inclination to compare ourselves to others has become enormously amplified. We all know that people carefully edit what they display online (and in person, for that matter). Nonetheless, we are still affected by the contrast between our real lives and what we see out there. “'Being good to yourself probably won't become your default state of mind on its own. You need to commit to practising it.” Comparing yourself to others can make you vulnerable to anxiety, low self-esteem and depression. So, stop doing it. Spend your energy on living intentionally instead. 8. Set boundaries We all do it sometimes – we bend over backwards. We do it for our career, friends, family, or simply because we were raised to do so. Although it is praiseworthy to be selfless, the truth is – you cannot live a healthy life without healthy limits. Well-being depends on feeling like you’re in control and being assertive (among other things, of course). Therefore, you cannot keep pulling out all your stops for every single person or project. You need to set boundaries and protect your integrity. Make your love for yourself a lifelong romance As you might have noticed, we’re not proposing narcissistic self-love based on a delusory image of your saint-like grandness — quite the opposite. The foundation of self-love is authenticity. So, to love yourself, know yourself. Accept, do not judge - but always seek ways to grow and improve. Be kind and forgiving to yourself. Live a life that is in line with your values and work towards your ideal self. In that way, self-love becomes the spring from which your contribution to the world will flow. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Healthy habits | Self care | Quality time Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Like most of us, Dee Marques spent more time inside at home in 2020. It gave her the opportunity to discover the power of pottering – leisurely carrying out small tasks and activities without pressure. Here she shares the benefits it can bring to you... This year’s lockdowns have seen many of us spending time indoors and trying to keep ourselves entertained at home. This can be a challenge for those who are used to an active or outdoorsy lifestyle spent in nature, as it can be tough to find meaningful things to do. I struggled with this too, until a friend said she kept herself occupied by simply pottering around her house most of the day. I tried it, and found it too rewarding to keep it all to myself! What exactly is pottering? Pottering around is all about keeping busy at a leisurely pace, without feeling the need to have specific plans for things that need to be achieved. It’s about letting your eyes wander and finding things that could be done, instead of having a pre-planned list of tasks in your mind. So, in my case, I started by sorting my fabric stash by colour and then moved onto my button stash. Next, I went to the kitchen to make myself a coffee and put all the bagged spices into glass jars, then picked some rosemary from the garden and set it to dry. That’s what it’s like to potter: finding enjoyable tasks that don’t feel like a chore; little jobs you want to do, not tasks that you have to do. Tidying your wardrobe is a perfect pottering task shutterstock/Kostikova Natalia Pottering around is also about choosing activities that you can look back on and admire or enjoy, and about allowing yourself to jump from one thing to another without feeling guilty about it. However, scrolling down your phone or sitting in front of the TV doesn't count as pottering! Indeed, keep your pottering digital free as much as possible and you’ll find it much more rewarding this way. So, why give pottering a go? I’ve come to think of pottering as a coping strategy. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed, busy, or anxious, and please raise your hand if you haven’t felt any of these emotions this year! There’s no right way of dealing with these feelings, so the more tools we have, the better our ability to weather any storm will be. In fact, pottering can really help when we feel outside of our comfort zone. How? Here are a few examples: - Pottering about includes some elements of mindfulness, such as the commitment to be intentional and aware of the present. It’s also similar to mindfulness in that it’s a conscious way of using our time, encourages relaxation and non-striving. indeed, there’s enormous freedom in realizing that we don’t always have to fill our spare time trying to achieve something. Potter around for a while and you’ll start to discover pleasure and beauty in small things. In my case, I realised how rewarding it was to arrange fabric by colour; how delightful it was to find little differences in colour shade or intensity. It’s something I’d probably have never experienced if I hadn’t decided to potter about, and for that I am grateful. It can help you learn to pace your routine and slow down a notch. It’s so relieving to finally understand that we don’t always have to be speeding onto the next thing and running from deadline to deadline. Time is a luxury, so treat yourself by learning to take things slowly. Pottering isn’t goal-oriented and so it can be considered part of slow living, which has multiple benefits, from better digestive health to a more positive mindset. Linked to this is the fact that pottering can help us re-assess what it means to be productive. You can say there’s 'normal' (or productive) time and time to potter about. Both have their own advantages, but the thing with productive time is that we can only keep at it for so long before fatigue or burnout set in. This is why it’s important to balance it with time to just potter around. I’ve already said that pottering isn't doing nothing at all, it’s an active pursuit that entails movement without the rush we usually associate with 'being on the move'. There’s plenty of evidence confirming the benefits of controlled and slow-paced physical movement. For example, practices like tai chi are sometimes described as 'medication in motion' that can reduce stress and improve cardiovascular health. You can jump straight into pottering, since you don’t need anything special to get started and it’s not like taking up a hobby that requires specific gear or tools. If you want to potter about, just look around and you’ll find plenty of simple things you can do with what you already have. “Potter around for a while and you’ll discover pleasure and beauty in small things. Pottering helps you learn to pace your routine and slow down a notch. You may want to have a look at this article, where Anna McGovern describes the benefits of pottering. She found herself overwhelmed by that familiar feeling of everything happening at the same time, struggling with a busy schedule, with personal and professional disappointment, and emotional exhaustion. To cope with the situation, she decided to set aside one day a week to just potter around. And, in her own words, making that decision changed her life, and in the end she published a book about it. Some ideas for potterers If you need some inspiration to get you started with pottering, here's a list of ideas to get you kick-started into action: Gardening or landscaping – without any pressure! It can be as simple as watering the plants, cutting a few herbs to use in the kitchen, or gathering a few evergreen branches to make a Christmas wreath. Going for a mindful walk. Writing a thank you note to a friend. Sorting out your fabric or yarn stash. Grinding favourite coffee beans. Neatly folding the clothes in your dresser. Organising your tool box. Decluttering. Cleaning and sorting the cutlery drawer. Hanging a bird feeder in your balcony or patio. Making some DIY potpourri. Enjoying your very own tea ceremony or ritual. Reorganising book shelves. Going through recipe books and finding new dishes to try. Polishing jewellery. Polishing wooden surfaces. Oiling those squeaky door hinges. Tackling “the bag of bags”: that plastic bag full of plastic bags we all have at home! Creating a music playlist for working, relaxing, or reading. Pottering around in the garden shutterstock/goodluz One last suggestion is to keep track of all the good things that happen once you allow yourself time to potter. This will generate awareness and appreciation for this way of using time, and you may discover something new about yourself too. Conclusion: the power of pottering Pottering around is a great coping strategy that you can turn into healing self-care sessions where you experience time without pressure and learn to just be. So, are you ready to become a potterer? Give it a try, discover the magic of pottering about, and find peace, contentment and happiness. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Stress management | Healthy habits | Simple living Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Slowing down helped Radha Ruparell figure out what really mattered to her. On April 5, 2020, I started to feel tired in the middle of the day. A couple of days later, I found myself trying to catch my breath on a conference call. It was then that I first suspected I might have this new virus that everyone was talking about, COVID-19. Six months later, I am still in the battle. The first few weeks of this illness were a rollercoaster. In the early days, I felt like I had been drugged with sleeping pills and couldn’t even muster energy to get out of bed. At nights, I faced explosive headaches and fevers that brought haunting hallucinations. I would fall asleep for a couple of hours, often to be jolted awake gasping for air. Unable to hold down food, I shed ten pounds in a month. Soon my symptoms progressed to a point where I was truly scared for my life. I went to doctors looking for answers, but even they were uncertain. My heart sank when, after discovering a lesion in my brain, a neurologist told me: “I’m sorry. We can try some things and see if they work, but we just don’t know enough yet.” Fortunately, I made it through those harrowing first weeks. Yet in the weeks that followed, I discovered that I had become a “long-hauler” facing a long-lasting post-viral syndrome. Months later, I still face waves of fatigue where my body shuts down if I don’t get enough rest. Prior to this virus, I was healthy in mind and body. I meditated, surfed, played tennis, and walked around Manhattan with a New Yorker’s hurried gait. I lived a fast-paced life. And then COVID-19 hit me. Now, I have been forced to slow down. Slowing down has been tough — and it has also been an incredible gift. Noticing what’s right there In the early part of this illness, I was in isolation alone at home. With constant physical pain, fatigue and brain fog, I was unable to work. I didn’t have energy to do anything else, either. I could not read, watch TV, exercise, or do other normal activities. Sitting in isolation with zero distraction was unnerving because then I had no choice other than to really be with everything that was unfolding. As I lay bedridden, I found myself reflecting on my life, pondering not what I had accomplished but who I had been along the way. Had I been kind to my family and friends? Had I taken full responsibility for my mistakes? Had I expressed myself fully and let the world see who I really am? Slowing down helps you focus on what really matters (posed by model) shutterstock/insta_photos On day 14, I finally broke down and admitted to a friend that I had never been more scared in my life. For two weeks, I had been resisting my fear. My fear of dying. My fear of losing loved ones to this illness. But finally, when I was able to let go and just be with that fear, suddenly it wasn’t as terrifying anymore. My friend couldn’t take away my pain, but she created a safe space for me to share what I was feeling. Sometimes, all we need in difficult times is to be witnessed and heard. I also discovered that when I started slowing down and allowing myself to embrace all my emotions, it wasn’t just fear, angst, or sadness that arose. I started opening up my heart in new ways to love, connection, and all the beauty that surrounded me. As one example, seven weeks into my fight, I celebrated my 40th birthday. On paper, that day might have sounded like a disaster. There was no big celebration. And yet, it was the most beautiful birthday ever. As I received warm notes from friends and family around the world, something amazing happened. Instead of the day whizzing by, as it usually does, I was able to really sit with all the love that was pouring in. I soaked it all in. It was a deeply moving experience. “Sitting in isolation with zero distraction was unnerving because then I had no choice other than to really be with everything that was unfolding.” Slowing down also helped me rediscover things I had taken for granted. When I left my apartment after 27 days in isolation, the first thing I noticed were the beautiful tulips growing in a little patch outside of my building. I have lived in this apartment for five years. Why had I never really noticed these flowers before in springtime? Oh, and the feeling of a breath of fresh air, a gust of wind, and the first time seeing trees again after a month indoors. It was as if I were a kid experiencing these things for the first time. What would life feel like if we always approached the world with childlike wonder? What if we soaked in the magic of each moment like it was our first and last one on earth? Instead of taking these simple pleasures for granted, what if we were truly present in our lives? This might sound sappy, but learning to savor and appreciate good experiences in life is one of the most important keys to well-being. And it gives us more energy and strength to face the difficult experiences. But busyness has become a normal way of life. In fact, we often wear it as a badge of honor. We are so busy running on autopilot, often in triggered states, that we can easily miss what’s right in front of us. We miss the magic that exists simply in taking a walk outside or sharing a meal with loved ones. Slowing down helped me pause and notice. I am now so much more aware of what’s been right in front of me all along. Unlearning bad habits Slowing down didn’t just help me savor the little things in life. It also forced me to recognize the importance of rest. In battling post-viral fatigue syndrome, I learned that if I didn’t pause and rest regularly, I would quickly relapse. So, when I returned to work, I had to learn entirely new ways of operating. I had to say no to meetings and projects that I would have otherwise taken on. I had to rest in the middle of the day to avoid waves of pain and fatigue from escalating. I had to learn that while I was brimming with ambition around things I wanted to accomplish, not everything had to get done that day. And, mostly, I had to learn to let go of any guilt associated with operating slowly, because the guilt just made the mental and physical pain worse. On my fridge, I put a Post-it note — “Be gentle with yourself” — as a daily reminder to practice self-compassion. Soon I discovered that when I was kind and respectful to myself, I was also much more grounded and generous in my interactions with others around me. For example, when a coworker showed up stressed to a meeting one day, I reminded myself that “just like me, they, too, are dealing with difficult things.” Rather than getting triggered and adding to the stress, I tried to listen without judgment. In these times of collective trauma, we all deserve a bit of compassion. There’s a myth that self-compassion means letting yourself off the hook. But, as I experienced, practicing self-compassion actually makes you more motivated to improve and resilient to setbacks — without the procrastination, stress, and rumination we get from being self-critical. Take time to appreciate friendships shuttertsock/rawpixel.com Slowing down is hard for so many of us “achievers” because our default norms are set otherwise. Initially, I tried to power through the fatigue and pain. But for the first time in my life, that strategy did not work. What I discovered about slowing down is that it’s not really about learning a new skill; rather, it’s about unlearning. When our routines are turned upside down, it can be daunting, that’s for sure. Yet disruptive moments like the pandemic are also a perfect time to break free of default ways of being. We can start questioning the things we do on autopilot and focus on what really matters. For me, I realized that what really matters is connection — from family to close friends to communities where I feel belonging. I have a newfound desire to be more intentional and fully present in all these interactions. What a shame it would be to come to the end of our lives and discover that we missed appreciating the “little things” that feel so ordinary at times — like a daily embrace with a child or partner — to later realize that these actually were the “big things” after all. Time for a collective pause When we slow down collectively, we create space to connect with one another more deeply. As the pandemic unfolded across the world, I first experienced it at my workplace, Teach For All, a global network of organizations in 58 countries working to develop collective leadership so that all children have the opportunity to fulfill their potential. In the early days of the pandemic, we hosted Zoom video calls where colleagues from around the world would get together. At the beginning of these calls, we would take a few minutes to check in with one another personally in small groups. In these moments, I learned that some colleagues had family members afflicted with COVID-19. Others were struggling with working from home while parenting young children. Many were facing the daunting challenge of reimagining education in their countries in the wake of indefinite school closures. These precious spaces to pause and be with one another were a chance to bear witness to each other’s raw realities. “I discovered that when I started slowing down and allowing myself to embrace all my emotions, it wasn’t just fear, angst, or sadness that arose. I started opening up my heart in new ways to love, connection, and all the beauty that surrounded me.” In these moments, we also discovered our deep interconnectedness. While the exact nature of our challenges differed, what we had in common was that all of us faced some upheaval and uncertainty, and that meant that we could also learn from one another. For example, soon after the pandemic unfolded, hundreds of teachers in communities around the world with limited internet access came together on a WhatsApp group (now known as the Teaching Without Internet Alliance) to share ideas for how to support student learning during school closures. Slowing down also created an opportunity to pause and ask the bigger questions. Many nights, as I was lying ill in bed, I would hear chants of “Black Lives Matter” as protestors marched down my street. As I listened, so many questions emerged: “Why is it that we have been quiet as a society for so long to the horrible treatment of our fellow human beings? In what ways have I been complicit through my silence and inaction? And what is possible now that more people are waking up?” While these questions have been alive in certain communities for a long time, without a collective slowdown, we might not have reached this tipping point where the conversation has finally permeated more broadly. Other questions that occupy my mind are around education. As more parents now get involved in their kids’ education, and as teachers reimagine remote learning, I wonder: “What is the purpose of education? What is most important for kids to learn? How do we nurture curiosity, compassion, and consciousness in kids? How can we use this moment to reimagine education to enable more equitable outcomes for all kids?” Similar reckonings may be happening in other fields around the world, from health care to food systems to our workplaces. As this global pandemic touches everyone, we have a unique opportunity to pause, connect with ourselves and one another, and ask the questions that really matter. And in this wide open space, perhaps we might unlock our imagination and collective responsibility and find new ways to tackle our greatest societal challenges. I have (un)learned so much personally by slowing down. Now, I wonder, what would be possible for humanity if we all slow down just a little? If we purposefully choose not to return to our hectic lives as if nothing happened? What beauty, connection, meaning, and joy might we find waiting for us right there in plain sight? • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Resilience | Kindness | Courage Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. Happiness.com is honoured to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

In our busy, modern world it's all to easy to get distracted from the task in hand. Ann Vrlak outlines how meditation practices can improve your focus and boost concentration levels so you can get the job done and feel happier. A desire to improve mental focus is one of the most common reasons people want to learn meditation. In fact, improving concentration and focus may be more relevant to your everyday life than you think! There are two ingredients in a strong ability to focus: being able to direct your attention where you want it to be and keeping it there for a sustained period of time, regardless of anything else that might want to grab your attention. So, you need a stable, calm focus for things like: A work project you’re in charge of at the office. An important conversation with your partner or child. A creative project you're excited about. Thinking about work life balance, what’s most important to you and how you want to spend your precious time and energy. In all of these everyday situations, you just can’t be at your best when your mind is scattered: You won’t be able to move your project forward without the ability to focus on one thing at a time. If you can’t focus in a conversation, people won’t feel heard and that can cause disconnection and conflict with the people closest to you. Creativity invites you to go beneath the surface and connect with something deeper inside you that wants to be expressed. It’s very hard to do that when your mind is cluttered. To make wise, meaningful life decisions you need to hold many things in your focus: your intentions, values and hopes. You can improve focus at work with meditative techniques Luckily, focus is one of the core skills you learn through meditation. Each time you sit, you practise both parts of focus: putting your attention where you want it and keeping it there, in spite of any distractions. Why you might find it hard to focus When you practise meditation for focus, especially if you’re a beginner, you start to recognize what focus feels like and what lack of focus feels like, too! You learn what your unique distractions are: it could be anxiety, boredom, food, worry, or something else. You’ll learn, each time you sit to meditate, what keeps you from being present and focused. Related: Meditation for beginner's – our Top 6 videos That’s because meditation is a mirror, and it will show you how your mind operates, but usually outside of your conscious awareness. Once you are aware of it, you can begin to investigate, to understand and, if you want, to change or to heal. I don’t want you to think that your imperfect ability to focus is a personal failing. There are many pressures in the modern world that make it extra hard for us to see focus as something worthwhile, never mind being able to improve our focus. First of all, multitasking is very much the norm these days. Add in anxiety and stress, which are increasing in all age groups, even including children, sadly, and the ability to focus becomes harder still. “Focus is one of the core skills you learn through meditation. Each time you sit, you practise both parts of focus: putting your attention where you want it and keeping it there, in spite of any distractions.” Furthermore, thanks to the overabundance of information and entertainment channels available to us, we have all become conditioned to high levels of stimulation and information input. Experts say this information onslaught just isn’t healthy for our nervous system: it radically shortens our attention span and although we often turn to these outlets to relax, in fact, they increase anxiety levels. You can see how all these factors could work against your desire to strengthen your focus! Meditation for focus The great news is there are many meditations to strengthen your focus, and help calm your overstimulated brain. Practising meditation for focus also increases your confidence and self-esteem. When you’re able to stay with the task in front of you and bring more of your skills and resources to it, you’re not only more productive, but more satisfied with the process. The journey is as enjoyable as the destination. You can use just about anything as an object of focus in meditation, but I’ll describe two proven practices you can try. There are many more, but you can do these practices anywhere and anytime you have a few minutes – even when you’re sitting in traffic or waiting at the doctor’s. Mantra Repetition of a mantra is the oldest form of meditation and is used in Vedic meditation. You choose a mantra, which traditionally is a Sanskrit word but doesn’t need to be, and repeat the mantra out loud or silently to yourself for a period of practice. Mantra practice takes you into a focused space of sound and sensation. OM, the primordial mantra, is one simple and powerful mantra to use. It is said to be the sound of the universe that animates everything on earth. If you prefer to use words you’re more familiar with, you can repeat words or phrases like, “Peace,” “May all beings be happy” or “Be kind in all things.” .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } So Hum meditation for focus YouTube/Chopra Breath Meditation for focus practices that use the breath are the most common. They’re wonderful practices because wherever you go, you have your breath! Focusing on your breath is incredibly calming for your nervous system, while also leading your attention away from your mind. One of my favourite breath practices is the Box Breath. Each side of the box represents one part of a breath cycle–the inbreath, holding your breath, your outbreath and holding your breath again – and each is done for count of four. This practice is so powerful that even Navy SEALS use it in high stress situations where it’s crucial to relax and jumpstart their minds into a high level of alertness. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } xx xxx Meditation for focus through breathing YouTube/MyLife For both practices, the instructions are the same. Sit in a comfortable, but also alert position, ideally with your eyes closed. Start to pay attention to your chosen object of focus and do your best to keep your attention there. When your attention moves to something else, which it definitely will, the practice is to notice and gently, without judgment, bring your attention back to your object. Repeat, for as long as you like. That’s it! This practice is harder than it sounds, however. One reason is the overstimulation I mentioned that makes it quite difficult to focus on one thing for long. Another reason is almost everyone who tries this practice will think they’ve done something wrong when their mind wanders. They criticize themselves and feel reassured of their inability to focus. “When you practise meditation for focus, especially if you’re a beginner, you start to recognize what focus feels like and what lack of focus feels like, too!” So, there are two keys to this practice: To understand that a wandering attention is exactly what the practice is about; it’s not something you’re doing wrong. When you notice you have wandered and bring your attention back, be kind and matter-of-fact about it. Don’t let negative self-talk creep in to your mind and heart. Conclusion: meditation for focus Modern culture really doesn’t value being focused on one thing very much. Many of us have learned that more is better and multitasking is best. If you find that meditation for focus is hard, remember that “it’s not just you.” Give yourself a chance to relearn the benefits of an uncluttered, focused mind for your productivity, well-being, creativity and connections with people that are important to you. • Main image: shutterstock/WAYHOME Studio happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Mindfulness | Happiness | Vulnerability Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Developed by Japanese psychiatrist Shoma Morita in the early 20th century, Morita is a response-orientated therapy. Meena Azzollini looks at the four steps involved in the process and evaluates the effectiveness of Morita Therapy. Our emotions are an integral part of our everyday life, whether we feel happy, sad, frustrated, angry or surprised. Indeed, our emotions make the human experience rich and every emotion that we feel is important. Emotions guide the choices we make and the decisions we take. They determine how we act and behave and are even responsible for our perceptions. Instinctively, you know emotions can be positive or negative. Naturally, you want to feel positive emotions because they are pleasurable and they feel good. You also want to keep negative emotions, like fear, worry, hopelessness, anger and grief at bay. But negative emotions too, have a purpose even though they bring you down and make you feel unpleasant. These unpleasant feelings give you the push you need to take action that helps you grow and develop yourself. In Western culture, positive emotional states like happiness are considered the ultimate goal whereas negative emotions are seen as those feelings that impede this goal. Western psychotherapeutic treatments like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) aim to teach people to manage or control their negative thoughts, and subsequent behaviours. However, Eastern philosophies take a different approach to negative emotions. A 2017 study, which explored positive and negative emotions across cultures, showed that Easterners reported stronger positivity towards sadness than westerners indicating Easterners embraced sadness when they experience it, whereas Westerners feel they should not have to face sadness. One Eastern therapy that challenges this view — that negative emotions should not be faced, or rather, they should be managed to downplay the impact they have on our lives — is Morita Therapy. What exactly is Morita Therapy? Morita Therapy believes that all emotions – even negative ones – are a natural part of the human experience. If left untampered, these emotions can guide us to live a more authentic life while appreciating reality as it is. Morita therapy, influenced by the psychological principles of Zen Buddhism, emphasises the importance of experiencing feelings rather than shifting or ignoring those feelings as advocated by many Western psychotherapies. Developed in 1919 by a Japanese psychiatrist, Morita Shoma, Morita therapy is a highly structured form of residential therapy which was designed in response to Shoma’s own clinical observations of inpatients confined in desolate places and treated in ways that reinforced their symptoms. Morita began treating patients in his home in a rural setting, with an initial emphasis on rest. He then introduced diary writing, art, outdoor activities with observations of nature as part of his therapy and noted that the safe familial environment was conducive to healing in these patients. Nature and gardening are an integral part of Morita Therapy shutterstock/Joshua Resnick Morita therapy was initially developed to treat a Japanese syndrome known as shinkeitshitsu, which is characterised by excessive worry (anxiety) and an over focus on bodily discomfort, along with hyperactivity of mental and physical symptoms. Morita argues that shinkeitshitsu, is not a biological disorder but a mental attitude. Shoma found that when patients tried to get rid of their symptoms of anxiety by talking about it, these symptoms stayed within their focus. This over focus decreased their mind-body-spirit well-being, a concept known as kokoro in Japanese, which means the mind, body and spirit are not separate but exist as one. In his book, ‘Morita Therapy and the True Nature of Anxiety-Based Disorders’, Morita Shoma explains, “If a client’s emotional base is ignored, any intellectual pursuit (by the therapist) only serves to increase the distance between the experiential mastery and therapeutic resolution.” He likens this state to a donkey tied to a post, where the donkey keeps walking around the post to free himself, only to become immobilised and attached to the post. “The same applies to people with obsessive thinking who become more trapped in their own suffering when they try to escape from their fears and discomfort through various manipulative means,” says Shoma. Morita advised therapists to focus on the patient’s ability to live a purposeful life, where they learn to accept their emotions so that the mind returns to balance. He warned clinicians not to become obsessed with treating their patient’s symptoms. “Morita Therapy believes that all emotions – even negative ones – are a natural part of the human experience. If left untampered, these emotions can guide us to live a more authentic life while appreciating reality as it is.” Ultimately, the goal of Morita’s treatment was to provide his patients with experiences that would enable them to let go of their own private struggles with their emotions and instead accept themselves, their symptoms and their reality “as it is” – known as arugamama in Japanese. “This is unique to Morita theory and is distinctively different from the theory of a newer therapy called, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT,” explains Dr. Peg Levine, Medical Anthropologist, Psychologist and Director of the Classic Morita Centre in Melbourne, Australia. How Morita therapy works Morita therapy involves four stages of treatment. Each stage comprises five to seven days. The therapist will look for signs of progress before the patient can move forward to the next stage. 1. Isolation-rest therapy Patients are placed in complete isolation and are asked to remain in resting or prone position except for when using the toilet and bath. The patient is not allowed to speak to anyone or undertake any activity that distracts them such as reading or listening to music. The therapist enters the room once a day to observe the patient but conversation is kept to a minimum. The role of the therapist at this point is to assure the patient that someone is nearby and to invite the person to endure and persevere in the discomfort and suffering of their anxiety-ridden emotions. The purpose of this stage is to let the mind wander as patients think about their lives, their problems and their past or their future, while they experience doubt, pain, anguish and anxiety. “When a client’s agony reaches a climax, it naturally and completely disappears within a short time, just like victory can be achieved during the last five minutes if a dashing attack,” writes Shoma. Patients begin to observe the transient nature of emotions that just come and go, much like nature – the changing nature of the sky and the seasons – as they suspend judgement of their emotions as positive or negative. By the third day in this stage, patients are usually invigorated by the memory of overcoming their challenging emotions and the agony of the previous day disappears. According to Morita, the first stage is effective for treating shinkeitshitsu symptoms of insomnia and anxiety. Usually by the fourth day, patients move into a state of boredom and want to become active. Healthy minds do not tolerate boredom according to Shoma, which is when a therapist will determine if the patient is ready to move to the next stage of the treatment. 2. Light occupational work In this stage too, therapy takes place in an isolated state, although patients are allowed to go outdoors during the day and are encouraged to participate in light repetitive work such as tidying and weeding the garden, picking up fallen leaves or light raking. Journaling is one of the key activities of this stage so that the therapist can better understand the patient’s emotional and physical state. However, patients are not allowed to do anything that diverts their mind or amuses them. The purpose of this stage is to allow a patient to calmly endure his or her symptoms and to inspire a desire for action, which is driven by the patient’s growing feeling of boredom. Journaling and diary writing are also key to Morita shutterstock/WAYHOME studio Patients begin to notice the activity in the natural environment such as the activity of ants or birds, or the movement of the sun across the sky, as they go about their light tasks. This distracts them from their symptoms and encourages them to explore their curiosity. According to Peg Levine, “the patient observes that the more she or he partakes in purposeful activity, the more worrisome symptoms decrease.” 3. Intensive occupational work The third stage comprises more labour-intensive work according to the client’s physical conditions. Activities include cleaning, gardening, meal preparations, and art projects with a focus on diary writing. Talking to others is restricted to the tasks at hand. The therapist does not respond to the patient’s attempt to engage in any emotion-based conversations. If patients write about their emotional state, or personal history or worries, the therapist directs them to record their observations of the day. Morita believed this therapy helps promote self-awareness in relation to the reality of the external environment and it stimulates patients to surrender to the present situation whether their symptoms were present or not. During this stage, patients begin to experience joy that comes from achieving results through their work and efforts. According to Morita, such experiences foster confidence and encourage patients to overcome difficulty and endure pain, while engaging in lively mental and physical activities. He writes: “The experiential understanding of confidence and courage, represented by the idea that much is possible in life, can be regarded as a kind of spiritual enlightenment.” 4. Preparation for daily living The fourth stage prepares patients to reintegrate with the world outside of their treatment. Patients are encouraged to focus on external reality and adjust to external changes whether symptoms exist or not. Patients travel away from the treatment centre, either by walking or taking public transport and run errands such as posting letters or buying groceries. According to Morita, “During purposeful outings clients experience various mental states because they are exposed to the general world after a long period of time.” This way, patients forget their fears naturally, as they integrate their “new self” to the social world. Morita Therapy today Modern-day Morita Therapy has since been altered from its classical version. It’s often used as a treatment alongside medication and has mainly shifted from residential therapy to outpatient centres. These days, therapists place less emphasis on Zen Buddhist philosophies embedded in Morita’s treatment. “Morita Therapy has been found to treat a range of anxiety disorders including post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.” However, the aim of the modern approach is very similar to classical Morita therapy, such as clarifying the concept of the vicious circle that maintains anxiety, and increasing awareness and acceptance of one’s emotional and physiological states, thus encouraging constructive actions. As stated previously, the purpose of Morita Therapy is not to eliminate sufferings or symptoms as such attempts are considered counter-productive to healing. Thus, in Morita therapy, no interventions are implemented to reduce symptoms or modify thoughts and behavioural patterns. It differs from other contemporary therapies like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Behavioural Activation (BA) where techniques such as meditation, cognitive appraisal and scheduling activities are used to intervene the experience of the symptoms. How effective Is Morita Therapy? Although Morita Therapy was initially developed to treat shinkeishitsu, it has been found to treat a range of anxiety disorders including post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, eating disorders, borderline personality and other adjustment disorders. Morita Therapy is also used to treat those with chronic pain, victims of sexual assault, cancer patients and civil war victims. Morita therapy may have changed over time but the purpose behind the therapy stays the same – to cultivate arugamama. “Patients learn to spread their attachments over time and re-experience a healthy imagination that balances their fears and desires over the course of the four stages, most naturally,” concludes Levine. This non-intervention therapy, help patients re-establish contact with the natural environment and cultivate an acceptance of the natural ebb and flow of their emotions. Patients develop a desire for life by re-channelling their energies into purposeful action, which helps them break the vicious cycle of their symptoms and move forward in life in a meaningful and constructive way. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy these benefits: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips and inspiration ■ share knowledge and help support others in our happiness forum ■ learn and self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Mindfulness | Nature | Self care Written by Meena Azzollini Meena Azzollini is a health and wellness content writer from Australia. She takes a heart-centred approach to help businesses make meaningful connections with their audience through effective content marketing solutions. You can connect with her at www.meenawrites.com.

Can the tendency to withhold intimacy potentially harm a marriage or render damage to a relationship? Sonia Vadlamani walks us through what Intimacy Anorexia entails, the causes, and the seven keys signs you need to look for... Relationships require hard work and commitment towards an open channel of communication. This is true not just for newly-engaged or recently married couples, but also for couples who have been together for a long time. Incompatibility and/or the tendency to self-sabotage relationships without realizing it can lead to intimacy issues. Therapists often gauge whether a failing marriage is worth saving with the help of Three A’s as the deciding factors: Addiction, Affairs and Abuse. These temptations affect the emotional well-being and intimacy needs of an individual in varying degrees, often determining the course of their relationship or marriage. RELATED: Try these 5 intimacy exercises to deepen connection If you’ve been shirking away from your spouse or partner lately and haven’t been particularly interested in being intimate with them, you may be dealing with Intimacy Anorexia without even realizing it. What is intimacy anorexia? Intimacy Anorexia is a relationship disorder characterized by the absence of intimacy. It pertains to the withholding of intimacy – be it physical, emotional, or spiritual – in a marriage or relationship. And while it can entail some of the three A’s mentioned above, it is possible to work on the underlying issues by identifying them through counselling and therapy. The term Intimacy Anorexia or IA was first coined by Dr Douglas Weiss when he began to observe and document a set of distinct yet related characteristics of sexual anorexia during his private counseling sessions for sex addicts and their spouses. “Intimacy anorexia is a relationship disorder characterized by the absence of intimacy. It pertains to the withholding of intimacy – be it physical, emotional, or spiritual – in a marriage or relationship.” This tendency to hold back can deter even growing and healthy relationships, replacing happiness and marital satisfaction with toxic feelings like resentment, distrust, and apathy. Where does Intimacy Anorexia stem from? According to Dr Weiss’s research, Intimacy Anorexia can be due to the following underlying causes: Sexual trauma Sexual trauma is one of the major causes of IA, in addition to other mental conditions and addiction. Experts believe that restricting intimacy can be a coping mechanism due to the sexual shaming resulting from trauma of this nature. Emotionally distant parent of the opposite gender Children of incompatible relationships or emotionally distant parent(s) tend to mark intimacy and affection as an unsafe or unavailable trait, which tends to affect their future relationships, especially those with the same gender as the ‘absent’ parent. A literature review by Giovanni Valtolina revealed a positive correlation between the parental emotional neglect and well-being of the child in terms of poor interpersonal skills, low self-esteem, and difficulty in forming meaningful relationships. Sex addiction Given as sex addiction allows one to fulfill their physical and psychological needs outside of their relationship as well, anorexics don’t feel the need to create and fulfill intimacy with their partner or spouse. Neglect by a role model Role models play a crucial role in setting standards and good examples in place for children and adolescents. Negative adult influences - especially by parents – can result in externalizing and internalizing of protective behaviors like withholding emotions and lack of empathy, giving rise to Intimacy Anorexia in adult relationships. What are the signs of Intimacy Anorexia? If you think you or a partner may have Intimacy Anorexia, here are seven of the main signs to look out for: 1. Being busy Intimacy anorexics often find ways to remain busy so that they can spare minimal time for their spouse or partner. Typically, anorexics could be considered hard-workers and go-getters in the workplace, as their profession becomes an easy medium for withholding quality time from their spouse or partner. • JOIN US! Sign-up to get support from our caring community • Furthermore, they can prove to be attentive and dutiful parents as well, as they may prefer helping children with their homework or finishing chores, in an effort to avoid spending quality time with their partner. 2. The blame game Individuals suffering from intimacy anorexia tend to blame others for each mishap or event and avoid taking responsibility for any wrongdoing themselves. They tend to overlook any shortcoming in their personality or behavior and are quick to transfer the blame on to others. Blaming partners is a key sign of intimacy anorexia 3. Using criticism or anger to gain control Intimacy anorexics are often seen using criticism, anger, or silence to exercise control over their partners and to maintain a distance from them. They also tend to highlight imperfections in their partners all too often, which puts the latter in a defensive mode and creates enormous amount of tension. 4. Avoiding sex Anorexics are likely to avoid or withhold sex, despite finding their partner physically attractive. In the rare case that they indulge in physical relations with their partner, they may remain emotionally distant or prefer fantasizing rather than being present in the moment. RELATED: How to promote intimacy and deepen connection 5. Withholding praise and emotions Marriage is perhaps the most intimate form of adult relationship which requires open communication regarding emotions – both positive and negative – like love, happiness, anger, disappointment etc. In fact, researchers Lian Bloch et al revealed that emotion regulation is a strong predictor of marital satisfaction. “Intimacy anorexics often resort to everything in their power to avoid intimacy with their spouse of partner.” Intimacy anorexics tend to avoid public display of positive emotions like love and praise, making the partner feel left out and unappreciated. Moreover, while they could be very actively religious or spiritual, they usually avoid sharing their beliefs and ideologies with their spouse to dodge intimacy. 6. Control of money Although a less common trait, intimacy anorexics sometimes try to establish dominance or power by using money as the controlling aspect. There is surmounting evidence on lack of transparency regarding financial decisions or ‘financial infidelity’ being the leading reason for diminished marital and life satisfaction. Anorexics occasionally tend to keep their partner in the dark about their financial condition, thereby using money to gain an upper hand in the relationship. Thus, their inclination to control money and other resources results in a domestic environment that lacks trust and mutual respect. 7. Being distant Intimacy anorexics often resort to everything in their power to avoid intimacy with their spouse or partner. This is the most common trait in anorexics, as observed by Dr Weiss, where they behave like roommates or flatmates, rather than a spouse or partner. Being distant or ignoring partners is another key trait shutterstock/SFIO CRACHO How does IA affects the other partner? Individuals that display signs of Intimacy Anorexia often resort to a deprivation strategy labelled ‘starve the dog’ by Dr Weiss. It involves the suffering partner being starved of physical, emotional and spiritual intimacy for extended periods of time, sometimes even years. The constant neglect and stress from continued blaming, criticism and intentional deprivation of affection by the anorexic often predictably alters the spouse or partner. For example, the partner may act out in the form of stress-eating, angry fits, or nervous bouts. To make matters worse, anorexics may further deteriorate the situation by claiming to ‘read their partner’s mind’ and blame them further to evoke loathing or pity. RELATED: Dealing with rejection As therapists who have studied the impact of criticism on relationships, Drs. John and Julie Gottman cite criticism as one of “The Four Horsemen of Apocalypse”, revealing that prolonged disapproval directed towards a partner’s choices and actions can impact the relationship adversely. However, the good news is that Intimacy Anorexia isn’t definitive or irreparable, although it does call for considerable effort to heal the damage rendered and to build more intimacy. As the intimacy begins to return, there is a need for the partners to develop firmer foundation of communication, mutual understanding, and trust. Takeaway: Intimacy Anorexia Intimacy Anorexia can result in undue pain, loneliness, stress and anxiety for a couple and their relationship. It’s important to understand the causes and identify the signs in time, so that corrective measures can be implemented in time to save the relationship. • Main image: shutterstock/Torwaistudio happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Communication skills | Learning | Relationship advice Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

November was full of feel-good environmental and health stories – but you may have missed them given all the negative news currently in the press. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten feel-good news stories from the past month to uplift and inspire. The world appears to have been in short supply of happiness in 2020. That said, November was an unusually positive month for the mainstream media with not one but three vaccine trial announcements in the fight against COVID-19. For some, the pharmaceutical companies' successes were the only stories worth talking about but there were plenty of others for those seeking more positivity in their news feeds. 1. Food scientists develop sustainable palm oil A pair of Canadian researchers have announced that they think they have found a sustainable and healthy alternative to palm oil. Widely used in the food manufacturing industry, palm oil is controversial for many reasons, not least because it tends to be grown on land that was formerly devoted to rainforests. According to Professor Alejandro Marangoni of the University of Guelph, adding certain enzymes to ordinary vegetable fat can make an eco-friendly alternative to conventional palm oil. 2. Mindfulness more effective if it's 'warm' Although mindfulness-based stress reduction has been studied for many years by scientists, a recent study review conducted at Harvard University has found that, overall, a 'warm' approach is better than a 'cool' one. According to Dr Zev Schuman-Olivier of the Harvard Medical School, a warm approach to mindfulness includes and element of self-compassion. He contrasts this with a cool approach which cultivates an attitude of greater tolerance to unpleasant situations. He claimed that mindfulness programmes that focus explicitly on cultivating inner-compassion are more likely to help facilitate sustained behavioural changes in people. Show self-compassion with mindfulness shutterstock/ESB Basic 3. New technique developed for safe asbestos disposal Asbestos was widely used in consumer products and buildings for many years before its awful effects on lungs were fully understood. Disposing of it has always been a difficult and expensive business. Sometimes the safest thing to do has been to simply place it into long-term storage. However, a Wolverhampton-based recycling business has found a way to destroy it in kilns such that it will never be harmful to people ever again. The technique can be scaled up to deal with industrial requirements, according to the firm's chairman, Graham Gould. 4. DNA alteration method takes the fight cancer cells A revolutionary technique has been developed by scientists in Israel, according to a report in the Daily Mail. Professor Dan Peer led a team of researchers at the University of Tel Aviv in their gene editing work. They have made use of the so-called CRISPR Cas-9 gene editing system – developed by Jennifer Doudna and Emmanuelle Charpentier, who won a Nobel Prize for their work – to alter the DNA in mice. This meant that the mice were less susceptible to developing cancers. Professor Peer said that he thought the work would be developed into treatments for humans which could then extend the lives of many people who suffer from tumours. 5. Healthy sleeping is good for your heart Getting into better sleeping habits has long been understood to help with chronic conditions such as depression. However, enjoying a restful night's sleep can also help to combat heart disease. A report in Healthline cited a scientific study that was published in the American Heart Association's scholarly journal. It found that people with good sleeping habits were up to 42 per cent less likely to suffer from heart failure than those with poor sleeping patterns. Crucially, this was the case regardless of any other factors involved with heart health, such as how much or little people exercised. RELATED: Can't sleep? 14 fixes to get a good night's rest Better sleep helps fight heart disease shutterstock/SjStudio6 6. NASA sets out to count every tree on the planet Although deforestation is a big problem in the fight against climate change and wildlife habitat preservation, no one knows how many trees there are on Earth. Added to this picture are some very ambitious tree-planting schemes going on around the world. Therefore, NASA is using its satellite technology and some very powerful supercomputers to try and count every single tree (!) on the planet, beginning in Africa. This figure should allow future generations to establish more accurately how good they have been at maintaining or improving tree stock levels. 7. Diabetes cure may be around the corner According to the National Post, scientists at the University of Alberta have been able to cure diabetes in mice. The team developed a new method for treating the disease which involves stem cells turning into pancreatic cells so that they can produce insulin within the body rather than it having to be injected. Dr James Shapiro, who led the research, said that he believes this technique will translate into a functional cure for diabetes for those living with it. 8. Rare Scottish wildcats born thanks to conservation programme A report in the Daily Record announced the arrival of two Scottish wildcat kittens in November. The critically endangered species is thought to number just 35 in the wild which makes the birth of two kittens – one male and one female – big news for conservationists. The kittens were born following efforts of the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland to breed captive wildcats. It's hoped that released wildcats will help to boost numbers in the wild in projects that are run in collaboration with NatureScot and Forestry and Land Scotland among others. The Scottish wildcat shutterstock/Mark Bridger 9. Biodegradable food containers developed from bamboo In an effort to stop using plastic for takeaway containers and other forms of single-use tableware, a team from Northeastern University in the United States has come up with a new material derived from sugar and bamboo. The use of these natural materials is ideal for the levels of hygiene needed for food products but it breaks down quite straightforwardly within 60 days and can be simply composted. What's more, the new material has been shown to work with solid foods as well as drinks. This is important because so-called green alternatives to plastic – such as cardboard – are often found to be flimsy or soggy, especially when they are used to hold hot beverages. According to a report in iNews, the manufacturing processes needed to make the material are less carbon intensive than those currently used for similar plastic products. 10. Three key factors in happiness revealed by academics According to a report in Science Times, being happy is something that can be more readily attained by focusing on three important factors. The report was based on the work of Emiliana Simon-Thomas, an academic who teaches a Science of Happiness course at the University of Berkley. It stated that boosting social connections and showing more gratitude were two of the most important things people can do to make themselves feel happier. According to Simon-Thomas, the third feeling that people she researches need to have if they want to be happy is one of self-compassion. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Positive news | Mindfulness | Nature | Biology | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.