Search the Community

When a relationship ends, our world often falls apart. From fighting isolation to rediscovering your inner 'self', here are ten ideas from Dee Marques on how to get over a break-up, so you can recover and move on with grace. Relationships bring us joy and fulfillment, but their end can also be pretty traumatic. I still remember the day I realized there was nothing more that could be done to patch up a relationship I was heavily invested in: it was the end of the road and it literally felt like it; as if there was nowhere else to go. Break-ups are tough, partly because they bring strong feelings of loneliness and powerlessness, especially when it’s the other half that breaks it off, or when friends and relatives are involved. Another reason why we don’t know how to get over a break-up is because relationships have us playing multiple roles, from best friends to lovers or housemates. Suddenly, one or more of those roles are gone and so we end up feeling lost and lonely. So, what are the main causes for romantic splits? A study from 1986 found that relationships end for eight main reasons, ranging from lack of romance and support to infidelity, not having common interests, or wanting more autonomy. Irrespective of what causes a break-up, the pain is real. In fact, a 2018 YouGov survey from the UK found that barely 25 per cent of all breakups are civil, and the rest usually bring strong negative emotions and feelings that we’re unable to cope. Avoid isolation if your heart is broken shutterstock/NeagoneFo So, what to do when a relationship ends? If you’re feeling lonely after a break up, sticking to productive activities can help you handle the heartbreak and fight loneliness. Here are ten suggestions for things that can help you recover and more on with grace after a relationship ends. How to get over a break-up: 10 top tips for coping Not knowing how to get over a break-up is normal, but it’s important to avoid dwelling on feelings of loneliness and rejection for the sake of your physical and emotional health. 
1. Give yourself time Earlier I wrote that break-ups are tough because they involve a loss of roles, and with loss can come feelings of grief. If that happens, allow yourself to go through grief without rushing through the stages or giving yourself deadlines: all humans grieve differently. RELATED: The 8 types of grief explained 2. Out of sight, out of mind We may not know how to get over a break-up, but instinctively we know what not to do: checking your ex’s social media profile, texting them, or calling them may be tempting, but it’s also counter-productive. For now, be brave and cut ties with them so you can focus on yourself and healing. 3. What can be learned? Break-ups are marked by inner conflict. We don’t want to think about things that hurt, but we can’t take our minds off them either. Reflecting on the relationship is OK, and can even be helpful if we do it with a purpose. This reflecting can be made easier when shared: studies show that sharing your thoughts with a friend can bring a sense of relief. That's because verbalising our experiences help us make sense of them. “Break-ups are tough, partly because they bring strong feelings of loneliness and powerlessness, especially when it’s the other half that breaks it off.” 4. Don’t over-analyze Indeed, while it's not wise to bottle up your feelings, don’t overthink or over-analyze what went wrong either. And yes, finding this kind of balance is one of the hardest things to do after a split. A good place to start is fighting off any of those nagging thoughts that begin with “what if?” or “I should have”. That will only deepen the sense of powerlessness of feeling lonely after a break up. 5. Create the soundtrack of your life It’s a stereotype, but who hasn’t given into self-pity after a relationship ended by listening to sad songs about messy break-ups? However, don’t beat yourself up about this: a study found that listening to sad music during hard times can actually stabilize our mood and offer emotional support, or make us think that “someone else gets it”. When I went through a harrowing break-up, I had what I called “my playlist of misery”, and I decided I’d keep listening to it until it stopped hurting. And one day, it did! A break-up soundtrack can help you heal shutterstock/Sketchphoto 6. Don’t fall into isolation When wondering what to do after a break-up, the easiest answer is often to curl up under the blankets and cry. But again, we must be careful with our decisions and avoid those that involve wallowing, or those that may deepen the sense of feeling lonely. Instead, keep yourself busy and distracted, whether it's with old or new friends, doing things you’ve always loved, or picking up new hobbies. RELATED: How to make new friends as an adult 7. Rediscover yourself On that note, is there anything you stopped doing or did less frequently when you were in a relationship? If so, now is the time to revisit it. This is important because it will help you rediscover your personal interests and that, in turn, can help you rediscover your 'self'. “So, how to get over a break-up when a relationship ends? If you’re feeling lonely, sticking to productive activities can help you handle the heartbreak and fight loneliness.” In fact, a study from 2011 suggested that break-ups hurt because we lose part of our identity in them, and that re-organising our sense of self is crucial to recovery. Other research has found that when participants invested in regaining their sense of self, they were able to cope better with negative feelings. 8. Get active, stay active Exercise releases endorphins, hormones that fight stress and depressive symptoms. When you’re feeling down after a relationship break-up, it will take an extra dose of willpower to go for a workout, but one thing's for sure: you’ll feel better afterwards, every time. RELATED: Happiness hormones – the neurochemicals of happiness 9. Don’t rush into dating To avoid feeling lonely after a break-up, some people fall into the trap of getting back into the dating game too soon in an attempt to forget the past lover. As I said before, it’s common to go through a period of mourning, so take your time before starting to date again. Make sure you only get romantically involved with someone after you’ve healed and processed the loss. 10. Learning to forgive When a relationship ends, we’ll go through anger, sadness, frustration, and a mountain of negative feelings that make it unthinkable to consider forgiveness. But don’t rule it out when thinking about recovering after a break-up. The willingness to forgive will not come immediately, and perhaps it will be a long time before you can even consider it, so don’t feel bad if you can’t bear doing it right after the breakup. As Noble Peace Prize winner Desmond Tutu once said, “forgiveness says you’re given another chance to make a new beginning”. How to get over a break-up: the takeaway We’re not born knowing how to get over a break-up, and each relationship ending comes with unique challenges. Feeling lonely after a relationship ends is normal, but don’t get stuck on that feeling. Loneliness can be managed, even if it takes going against what you feel or don’t feel like doing. Focus on regaining a sense of self, and if you ever struggle, remember that the solitude you experience now can put you on a path to self-discovery and healing. ● Main image: shutterstock/RawPixel.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Acceptance | Healthy habits | Managing divorce | Dating Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

The companionship and mental health benefits pets bring is widely known, but did you know the healing power of pets extends to physical relief as well? Ed Gould discovers five key health benefits that our furry friends can bring. What is it about pets that make them so therapeutic? It's a question I've asked myself before, having benefited from family furry friends and from spending time with other people's pets too. You might have posed the same question yourself. After all, animals are now routinely used in geriatric homes and hospital wards to lift people's spirits. So, if the health benefits of pets are known to professional caregivers, then the healing power of pets should not come as a surprise in domestic situations. Pets will often show signs of grief if they're separated from owners and sometimes display even deeper connections, such as knowing when we're in pain or danger. Of course, one of the key parts of the curative power of pets is that they love us in an unconditional way that human relationships rarely achieve. So, what does the latest research tell us about the health benefits of having a pet around the home? The healing power of pets: what science says Scientific research into the healing power of pets has been ongoing for decades. Most new studies focus on just one or two health benefits of pets but many researchers would agree that the advantages of pet ownership are multi-faceted in terms of healthcare. Let's take a look at some of the latest research. 1. Stress reduction and pet companionship Many pet owners would gladly admit that spending time with their animal helps them to relax and keep things in perspective. Returning from a tough day at work to a welcome from your pet – which really doesn't care about work stress – can help you to instantly calm down. Therapy dogs are used in hospital wards shutterstock/Monkey Business Images A 2019 study into animal interactions and stress conducted at Washington State University found that students were much more relaxed if they interacted with animals prior to taking their exams. Most reported a heightened state of tension that was relieved when they spent as few as ten minutes with animals. Pet owners can expect even better results due to greater levels of companionship. 2. Lowering blood pressure with pets According to Allen McConnell, a professor of psychology based at Miami University, the healing power of pets is very real – enough to lower your blood pressure. McConnell, who studies the ways humans interact with their pets, says that owning an animal can give people a sense of purpose and belonging that augments feelings of positivity which translates to health benefits. Stanley Coren, a psychology professor and neuropsychological researcher from the University of British Columbia agrees with these findings. “Your blood pressure lowers when you interact with an animal in a friendly way and your muscles relax, too,” he said. Another study in the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease said that stroking animals – even pet snakes – can help to bring blood pressure down. 3. Heart disease and the health benefits of pets In 1997 American medic Larry Dossey published a literature review concerning the medicinal power of pets. In it, he noted that at that time there were over 2,000 therapy programs in the US using animals to assist people with a wide range of conditions. In particular, he highlighted a scientific study that dated back to 1980. “One of the key parts of the healing power of pets is that they love us in an unconditional way that human relationships rarely achieve.” Conducted by Erika Friedmann of the University of Pennsylvania, it showed that people who suffered from heart disease were more likely to survive for a longer period if they had a pet at home. Following their treatment, people with a pet in their lives to return to had a much greater chance of recovery. In fact, pets were found to be a stronger predictor of survival than even having a supportive family around the individual concerned! 4. Improved mental health Many people with a pet will report that they feel mentally better off for having them in their lives. The scientific research into pet ownership and conditions like depression are mixed, however, with some backing up anecdotal evidence and others showing no significant healing power of pets either way. Stroking a pet lowers blood pressure shutterstockk/Damir Khabirov Certainly, pet ownership can lead to social interactions, especially when walking a dog, for example, which is known to help with conditions like depression and anxiety. According to work conducted by Sandy Branson of the University of Texas Science Center, homebound adults, particularly older people, do get a psychological lift from pet ownership. Her research looked into cognitive function and depression. In it, she found a significant correlation between better mental health and pet ownership among older people. 5. The healing power of pets and hormonal responses According to the aforementioned study in the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, touching a pet not only helps to lower blood pressure, but it also boosts our output of oxytocin, a happiness hormone that promotes feelings of trust and relaxation. “People who suffered from heart disease were more likely to survive for a longer period if they had a pet at home.” More widely, dog owners can expect an upturn in immunoglobulin A, an antibody that helps the immune system. Furthermore, a study published in Oxford in 2017 showed that children relaxed better in the company of pets, largely due to a perceived drop in hormones like cortisol which are associated with stress responses. 6. Mindfulness and pet ownership Pets help to keep you anchored in the here and now. Because animals tend not to express feelings of anxiety of what might be or what has passed, they help us to live in the moment, a key aspect of various forms of mindfulness including MBSR, for example. According to an article published by Harvard Medical School, mindfulness can be boosted by dog ownership, especially when you go on a walk together. Dr Ann Berger, a researcher at the NIH Clinical Center in Maryland agrees with this idea. She says that the foundations of mindfulness are based on attention, intention, compassion and awareness. “These are things that animals bring to the table innately that people have to learn,” she says. The takeaway: the healing power of pets However you look at it, pets are beneficial for their owners in numerous ways. In terms of health benefits, our understanding is still ongoing, but few people regret owning one in terms of either their physical or mental well-being. Make sure to give your furry friends some extra attention and reward them for all the health benefits they bring! Main image: shutterstock/Africa Studio happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Burnout | Stress management Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

A new year means new beginnings. Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up of feel-good news stories from January to kick-start 2020. January was full of feel-good news. If you thought that there was too little happiness and not enough to cheer you in mainstream news outlets, then read on to discover some of the positive stories you may have missed. 1. Stem cells used to combat pain in global first The use of stem cell research is controversial, but supporters of it are now likely to find more people being supportive of the technique thanks to work conducted at the University of Sydney. A research team there has claimed to have made a breakthrough with pain management, something that should bring happiness to anyone who suffers from the chronic condition. Taking stem cells from patients with injured nerves, the researchers have been able to repair them, thereby alleviating often excruciating pain without relying on drugs. 2. New process allows rubbish to be made into wonder material Engineers and product designers have long considered graphene, a carbon-based material, to be strong, durable and light. However, it has never been made out of rubbish before. According to The Engineer, this is soon to change because of a process developed at Rice University in Texas. Now, plastic waste and even old rubber tyres can be made into graphene at a fraction of the usual outlay, thanks to the work of researchers there. It's hoped that the graphene made will be industrialised and added to concrete, making it stronger and more environmentally friendly. 3. Mindfulness can help us to be less fearful According to a report in Medical News Today, mindfulness has been shown in numerous scientific studies to help people unlearn what they've learned from their fear. Of course, fear is an adaptive response that helps us to survive. However, with mindfulness, we can unlearn the traits associated with fearfulness that may be holding us back. According to the latest research in Scandinavia and China, inappropriate fear responses – such as phobias – can be addressed by invoking mindfulness techniques. Fear not: mindfulness may help shutterstock/Avesun 4. New hope for anti-cancer drugs The search for new and more targeted oncology drugs is something that continues around the globe. However, according to a report published by Reuters, US scientists have discovered that many drug therapies already in use for other conditions may have a cancer-fighting effect, too. Dr Steven Corsello of the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and the Broad Institute at MIT said that a surprising number of non-oncology drugs have the ability to see off cancer cells under laboratory conditions. His team tested some 4,500 drugs with no previously reported anti-cancer properties and found that at least 50 were successful. 5. Breakthrough in solar technology announced A research team led by Claudia Turro, a chemistry professor at Ohio State University, has found that a lone molecule could be harnessed in a way that will make solar panels more effective. The chemistry involved means that the full spectrum of sunlight can be captured by solar cells, thereby making them much more effective than at present. The idea is to develop the technique to make a much sought-after type of hydrogen fuel from sunlight. 6. Doing good relieves mental and physical pain People who are kind all the time may already realise the power of kindness, but researchers in China have scientifically demonstrated that being nice to others has a benefit to us. Their work, published during January in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, has shown that altruistic behaviours led to relief from acutely induced physical pain and even had a positive effect on those suffering chronic pain. Their work suggests there must have been some kind of evolutionary benefit to kindness, as humans developed into more social animals living in groups. Kindness leads to happiness shutterstock/Daisy Daisy 7. China moves against single-use plastics Some people complain that the moves many of us make – such as phasing out the use of plastic bags – is not worth it until hugely populous countries such as China do the same. However, the People's Republic announced that it would do so from the end of 2020 and hopes to remove all single-use plastics from urban centres in as little as two years. In a report published by the BBC, the restaurant industry in the country will have to do away with plastic straws almost immediately. 8. Blood flow study could help dementia sufferers A team at University College London in the UK has discovered the bio-mechanism that allows brains to monitor their blood supply in a study conducted on rats. It's now hoped this can be monitored to work out the relationship between this mechanism and the onset of dementia, which has long been associated with blood flow rates in the brain. 9. Lego is bringing about a more mindful approach The Daily Telegraph reported a particular generation was increasingly using Lego building as a way to achieve flow and greater happiness in their daily lives. In January, the newspaper said that millennials were playing with the plastic bricks to make things that had an effect on their mindfulness which was akin to engaging in practices like yoga. Some have put this down to the fact that younger adults are more aware of mental health stresses than older generations and are therefore seeking therapies they can enjoy to avoid them. Could Lego boost flow? shutterstock/FamVeld 10. Dry January being overtaken by increasing numbers of teetotallers According to Men's Health magazine, more people are getting involved with alcohol abstinence than ever before, and it's not just for the first month of the year. In increasing numbers people are opting to abandon booze all together, thanks to public health campaigns and the publicity associated with dry January. The report cites scientific research at the University of Washington as well as changing British attitudes to alcohol as revealed in a recent YouGov survey. What a sobering thought! ● Main image: shutterstock/diy13 Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Meditationen und Achtsamkeitsübungen scheinen in unserer gestressten und informationsüberladenen Welt immer beliebter zu werden. Und das zu Recht: Dankbarkeit macht dich entspannter, resilienter und glücklicher. Martin Auerswald (Biochemiker) und Moritz Penne (Personal Trainer) von SchnellEinfachGesund zeigen die Vorteile von Dankbarkeit für Seele und Geist. Wie wäre es, wenn du morgen früh aufstehst und dankbar bist, für die kleinen Geschenke, die dir das Leben heute wieder macht. Den ersten Sonnenstrahl, den du sehen kannst, den Duft deines Partners, wenn du neben ihm aufwachst oder die kuschelige Bettdecke, nachdem du den Snoozebutton noch mal gedrückt hast. Es gibt so viele Gründe dankbar und gut gelaunt in den Tag zu starten. Doch in der Realität scheinen immer mehr Menschen schlecht gelaunt und leicht depressiv zu sein. Was kannst du dagegen tun und was macht Dankbarkeit in deinem Körper? Was ist Dankbarkeit? Dankbarkeit bezeichnet einen Gefühlszustand, eine Handlung, eine positive gedankliche Haltung sowie einen persönlichen Wert oder eine persönliche Charaktereigenschaft. Der Begriff dient daher zur Beschreibung positiver Eigenschaften bezogen auf uns, unsere Umwelt oder unsere Erscheinung in dieser. Für den heutigen Kontext möchte ich Dankbarkeit als Handlung und Haltung betrachten, die dir hilft, glücklicher und gesünder zu leben. Die Praxis, dich auf die positiven Dinge in deinem Leben zu fokussieren, hilft dir, ein schöneres Leben zu erschaffen und zu erkennen, was du alles besitzt. Viele von uns streben nach materiellem Besitz und Macht, dabei kann das Teilen mit anderen Personen und persönliche Beziehungen dir deutlich mehr Reichtum bringen. Dankbarkeit hilft dir dabei, diesen Reichtum zu entdecken und wertzuschätzen. Die Dankbarkeitspraxis kann viele verschiedene Formen annehmen, wichtig ist dabei, dass du die Dinge erkennst, die dir gegeben sind, ohne dass du extra etwas dafür tun musst und die du jeden Tag genießen kannst. Das Aufschreiben dieser Dinge oder die persönliche Danksagung an Freunde, Familie und Bekannte ist bereits die Praxis von Dankbarkeit. Dankbarkeit fördert die Gesundheit:: Entspannung setzt ein und Stress reduziert sich Was passiert im Körper, wenn du dankbar bist? Dankbarkeit ist ein Gefühl, welches in deinem Kopf durch eine Kaskade an Reaktionen und die Bildung von Hormonen entsteht. Bist du dankbar oder führst eine der folgenden Dankbarkeitspraktiken aus, wird der Vagusnerv aktiviert, der das parasympathische Nervensystem stimuliert. Du wechselst von einem aktivierten Nervensystem – sympathisch - in den Entspannungsmodus. Du fühlst dich entspannter und der Stress reduziert sich. Dies führt zur Senkung des Cortisolspiegels, was deiner Gesundheit zu Gute kommt. (Zahn et al., 2009) Außerdem wird Oxytocin ausgeschüttet, dass Bindungshormon. Sonst wird Oxytocin nur bei Körperkontakt wie Umarmungen oder beim Sex ausgeschüttet. Dankbarkeit macht dich dadurch ziemlich schnell glücklich, und deine Empathie sowie das Einfühlungsvermögen in andere Personen steigern sich. VERWANDTES THEMA: 7 Vorteile des Gärtnerns für die mentale Gesundheit Dankbarkeit lässt sich wie ein Muskel trainieren. Je häufiger du dankbar bist, desto mehr Verknüpfungen bilden sich zwischen den entsprechenden Neuronen. Dadurch bist du häufiger dankbar und fühlst dich immer öfter glücklich. Dein Gehirn produziert dei Dankbarkeitspraktiken Serotonin und Dopamin – die Glücks- und Belohnungshormone. Der Effekt ist vergleichbar mit dem von Antidepressiva, du schüttest Serotonin und Dopamin aber auch beim Sport, beim Trinken mit Freunden oder einem Bungeesprung aus. Daher ist Dankbarkeit eine Art Selbstmedikation und gedanklicher „Spaßmacher“, egal wo du bist und wie spät es ist. Mittlerweile gibt es spezifische Meditationen die gegen Stress, Burnout und Depressionen helfen. Aufgrund des biochemischen Einflusses auf deine Hormone und dein Wohlbefinden, ist Dankbarkeit sehr effektiv, wenn du gesünder und glücklicher Leben möchtest. Vorteile von Dankbarkeit für Geist und Seele 1. Entspannung für Körper und Geist Durch die Aktivierung des parasympathischen Nervensystems können sich dein Körper und Geist entspannen. Heilungsprozesse und der Aufbau neuer Zellen kann beginnen, weshalb Dankbarkeit entscheidend zu deiner Gesundheit beiträgt. 2. Wertschätzung des Lebens In einer Studie wurde gezeigt, dass Menschen die Dankbarkeit praktizieren, ihr eigenes Wohlbefinden deutlich positiver einschätzten, als Probanden, die dies nicht taten. (Navjot Bhullar, 2015) Mit einer solchen Praxis lernst du die Dinge wertzuschätzen und zu erkennen, welche du bereits besitzt. Hast du schon einmal deinen Kleiderschrank nach all den Sachen durchsucht, die du eigentlich nie anziehst? Schaue einmal nach und erkenne, in welchem Reichtum du höchstwahrscheinlich lebst. 3. Selbstfindung Neben den biochemischen Vorteilen und der Entspannung, die dir Dankbarkeit einbringt, findest du auch immer mehr zu dir selbst. Nach Dingen zu suchen für die du dankbar bist, sorgt dafür, dass du deine eigenen positiven und negativen Gedanken anschaust, und dich mehr auf die positiven fokussierst. Diesen Bias in deinem Gehirn, kennst du vielleicht vom Autokauf. Du möchtest dir dein spezielles Modell kaufen und plötzlich siehst du das Auto überall in der Stadt. Genauso funktioniert es bei Dankbarkeit mit den positiven Gedanken. Je mehr du dich auf sie fokussierst, desto mehr Schönheit erkennst du in der Welt und bist positiver gestimmt. Danke sagen: Drei Sätze am Abend tragen bereits zu mehr Dankbarkeit über Tag bei 4. Verständnis, Empathie und Kontakt zu Gefühlen Gleichzeitig kannst du dich mehr auf andere fokussieren, wenn es dir selbst gut geht. Die Ausschüttung von Oxytocin trägt dazu bei, dass du dich mehr um andere kümmerst, in sie hineinversetzt und mehr Empathie zeigst. Der Zugang zu deinen eigenen Gefühlen ermöglicht dir, diese in anderen zu erkennen und zu verändern. Auch in Studien konnte nachgewiesen werden, dass Dankbarkeit für bessere Gefühle sorgt. (Ouweneel et al., 2014) VERWANDTES THEMA: Warum die Welt eine Empathie-Revolution braucht 5. Gedankenkontrolle Wie bereits beschrieben, musst du dich, um dankbar zu sein, auch mehr mit deinen Gedanken auseinandersetzen. So erkennst du negative Gedanken schneller und kannst ihnen entgegenwirken. Häufig erzeugen negative Gedanken auch negative Gefühle, die zu Schutzhandlungen führen. Dazu zählen beispielsweise übermäßiger Alkoholkonsum, zu viel oder zu wenig Sport, Essen, Wutausbrüche oder Shoppingtrips. Erkennst du deine Gedanken früh genug und handelst ihnen entgegen, kannst du die Ursache der Handlungen unterbinden. So sind Handlungsveränderungen oder die Heilung von Süchten deutlich einfacher, als durch die pure Willenskraft, die Handlung nicht mehr auszuführen. Dankbarkeit hilft dir dabei. 6. Glück Auch wenn sich darüber streiten lässt, was genau Glück ist, konnte gezeigt werden, dass dankbare Menschen über den Tag verteilt, häufiger gute Gefühle haben. (Emmons and McCullough, 2003) Geht man vom Glück als positiven Gefühlszustand aus, sind dankbare Menschen daher deutlich glücklicher und lebensfroher. Vorteile von Dankbarkeit und Tipps für den Alltag Mit welchen Vorteilen sich Dankbarkeit auf deine Gesundheit auswirkt und welche Tipps die Autoren von SchnellEinfachGesund für den Alltag mitgeben, lest ihr in Teil II zur Biochemie der Dankbarkeit. ● Schreibst du ein Dankbarkeits-Tagebuch? Kommentiere hier oder diskutiere im Forum, wie du Dankbarkeit im Alltag praktizierst! Geschrieben von Gastautor Der heutige Beitrag ist ein Gastartikel von Martin Auerswald (Biochemiker) und Moritz Penne (Personal Trainer). Die beiden schreiben auf SchnellEinfachGesund über gesunde Gewohnheiten, mit denen jeder einen gesunden Lifestyle etablieren kann. Ihr Motto: Gesundheit kann jeder! Quellen: EMMONS, R. A. & MCCULLOUGH, M. E. 2003. Counting blessings versus burdens: an experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. J Pers Soc Psychol, 84, 377-89. HILL, P. L., ALLEMAND, M. & ROBERTS, B. W. 2013. Examining the Pathways between Gratitude and Self-Rated Physical Health across Adulthood. Pers Individ Dif, 54, 92-96. JACKOWSKA, M., BROWN, J., RONALDSON, A. & STEPTOE, A. 2016. The impact of a brief gratitude intervention on subjective well-being, biology and sleep. J Health Psychol, 21, 2207-17. MASSEY, C. N., FEIG, E. H., DUQUE-SERRANO, L. & HUFFMAN, J. C. 2017. Psychological Well-Being and Type 2 Diabetes. Curr Res Diabetes Obes J, 4. MILLS, P. J., REDWINE, L., WILSON, K., PUNG, M. A., CHINH, K., GREENBERG, B. H., LUNDE, O., MAISEL, A., RAISINGHANI, A., WOOD, A. & CHOPRA, D. 2015. The Role of Gratitude in Spiritual Well-being in Asymptomatic Heart Failure Patients. Spiritual Clin Pract (Wash D C ), 2, 5-17. NAVJOT BHULLAR, G. S., NICOLA S. SCHUTTE, 2015. Dispositional gratitude mediates the relationship between a past-positive temporal frame and well-being, Personality and Individual Differences,. ELSEVIER, Volume 76, Pages 52-55. OUWENEEL, E., LE BLANC, P. M. & SCHAUFELI, W. B. 2014. On being grateful and kind: results of two randomized controlled trials on study-related emotions and academic engagement. J Psychol, 148, 37-60. WOOD, A. M., JOSEPH, S., LLOYD, J. & ATKINS, S. 2009. Gratitude influences sleep through the mechanism of pre-sleep cognitions. J Psychosom Res, 66, 43-8. ZAHN, R., MOLL, J., PAIVA, M., GARRIDO, G., KRUEGER, F., HUEY, E. D. & GRAFMAN, J. 2009. The neural basis of human social values: evidence from functional MRI. Cereb Cortex, 19, 276-83.

The terms 'meditation' and 'mindfulness' are often used interchangeably. However, although the practices share some traits, they are not the same thing. Stanislava Puač Jovanović looks at the three main differences of mindfulness versus meditation. Meditative practices first entered mainstream Western society in the 1960s – mainly through the hippie movement – with a gradual shift away from spiritual and towards a more secular approach. Much more recently, interest in mindfulness has followed. Indeed, nowadays, both practices are hugely popular around the world. Still, many people get puzzled by the question of mindfulness vs meditation, and the terms are often used interchangeably. So, are they one and the same? The short answer is, of course, no. Nonetheless, there is an overlap that causes confusion. And the fact that you can also practise mindfulness meditation doesn’t help in differentiating between the two either. This article will explain the differences, and show you how you can incorporate mindfulness meditation into your everyday life. Meditation and mindfulness in the West Western thinkers (Schopenhauer, among others) have been interested in Eastern philosophy and practices for a long time. Although some thinkers (such as Jung) opposed the notion of Westerners engaging in Eastern meditative practices, that warning may not apply to many of the currently practised modifications of meditation and mindfulness. Is this meditation? Mindfulness? Or both? What is clear is that these tools for mental health and well-being are becoming increasingly used. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) National Center for Health Statistics, 14.2 per cent of Americans meditate. That’s a more than threefold increase between 2012 and 2017. The CDC also found that 9 to 14 per cent of Americans engage in some of the structured forms of mindfulness. Elsewhere, in the UK, the positive effects of both meditation and mindfulness have been recognised by the National Health Service (NHS). Moreover, the Wellcome Trust is funding a £6.4m study as a part of an effort to introduce mindfulness to teenagers and young people as a preventive measure against the adverse effects of stress. Mindfulness vs meditation: what’s the difference? Before we dig deeper into the matter of mindfulness versus meditation, let’s get to know each a bit better first. Meditation is a practice with a long history of use for increasing focus, calmness, awareness, and overall psychophysical well-being and balance. You can engage in guided or unguided forms, as well as decide between insight or calming types of meditation. “Many people get puzzled by the question of mindfulness vs meditation. So, are they one and the same? The short answer is no, they're not.” Some of the most common types of meditation practised in the West are focused attention, gratitude meditation, progressive relaxation, kundalini meditation, zen meditation, loving-kindness meditation, visualization meditation, and, yes, mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness, similarly, is a mental practice aimed at increasing awareness, focus on the present moment, and non-judgement or acceptance. It has been widely used to relieve the effects of stress and trauma, reduce chronic pain, increase physical health, and bring better cognitive functioning and emotional stability. Shore thing: the benefits of meditation are proven shutterstock/javi_indy Mindfulness teaches us to become free of dwelling about the past or worrying about the future – a cognitive habit some of us spend as much as half of our time on: a habit that makes us utterly unhappy. In the words of Jon Kabat-Zinn, the man who has done most to popularise mindfulness based on scientific evidence of its benefits: “Mindfulness practice means that we commit fully in each moment to be present; inviting ourselves to interface with this moment in full awareness, with the intention to embody as best we can an orientation of calmness, mindfulness, and equanimity right here and right now.” Differences between mindfulness and meditation So, what are the differences between mindfulness and meditation? They can and do work together to produce an overall benefit. In fact, the two practices complement each other, increasing the other’s positive impact. Nonetheless, when you want to compare meditation vs mindfulness, they’re different in a few distinct ways: 1. Subject Meditation is awareness of “no-thing”, meaning that it aims to let thoughts, perceptions and intentions pass us, with a focus purely on our breath or mantra. Mindfulness, on the other hand, teaches us to become aware of “some-thing”. Indeed, as many aspects of our surrounding as possible, learning to engage in a meaningful perception of our inner and outer worlds. 2. Structure You usually need to follow a formal routine for meditation (when, how, for how long, etc.). However, for mindfulness, you don’t have to (although you can) set up a formal routine. Indeed, you can incorporate it into your everyday interaction with yourself, the world, and the others. “Instead of thinking about mindfulness vs meditation, we should be more inclined to embrace both of these tools as possible conduits to as harmonious state of mind and emotion.” 3. Form Meditation is definitely an activity, even though it can yield changes in our constitution, capabilities, and attitudes. Expanding on the previous point, mindfulness can be understood as more of an attitude, a capacity, a way of being even. It can be an all-encompassing ability that follows us around whatever we do. OK, so what is mindfulness meditation? Now that we’ve clarified the difference of meditation vs mindfulness, it’s time to bring them back together again. Mindfulness meditation is a structured form of mindfulness, a practice in which you fully commit to being mindful for a certain amount of time. It combines the benefits of the two. Here’s how to do it: Set aside five or ten minutes and set up a (soft) alarm to warn you when the time’s up so that you don’t have to check the clock. Sit somewhere where you’ll be comfortable and you won’t get interrupted. Drop your chin and let your gaze fall downward. You can, but you don’t have to, close your eyes. Be present for a few moments, gently focusing on here and now. Begin following your breath as it enters your nose and travels down to your lungs and then back out. Notice all the sensations that follow your breathing, tenderly focusing your attention over and over again. Your mind will wander, over and over again (less, as you become more proficient in the practice). When it does, simply acknowledge the fact, don’t be judgmental of yourself, and return your attention to your breath and the present moment. Just let the thought slide beside you and away from you. Before you make any movement, such as scratching an itch, become aware of your intention, then move with the consciousness of every aspect of it. Then return to your position and refocus to your breath. When you’re ready, slowly exit the meditation. Start noticing the room around you; the sounds, light, smells, and open your eyes fully. Notice how your body feels. Be aware of how your mind is at the moment. Then decide how you want to continue your day. Reaping the benefits: meditation vs mindfulness Instead of thinking about mindfulness vs meditation, we should be more inclined to embrace both of these tools as possible conduits to a harmonious state of mind and emotion. The benefits of meditation and mindfulness have been empirically proven and testified by millions of people around the world. If you too decide to give them a try, you're on the path of leading a happier and more balanced, but, primarily, an aware life. ● Main image: shutterstock/maxpetrov happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. During her early career, she gained several certifications (life coach, assertive communication trainer, peer educator, fitness instructor). Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Working out in any form is not just good for your physical self, it's great for your brain and mind too. Here are five surprising ways exercise can change your brain. By Kelly McGoniga on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. We’ve all heard that exercise is good for us — how it strengthens our hearts and lungs, and helps us prevent diseases like diabetes. That’s why so many of us like to make New Year’s resolutions to move more, knowing it will make us healthier and live longer. But many people don’t know about the other important benefits of exercise — how it can help us find happiness, hope, connection and courage. Around the world, people who are physically active are happier and more satisfied with their lives. They have a stronger sense of purpose and experience more gratitude, love and hope. They feel more connected to their communities, and are less likely to suffer from loneliness or become depressed. These benefits are seen throughout the lifespan, including among those living with serious mental and physical health challenges. That’s true whether their preferred activity is walking, running, swimming, dancing, biking, playing sports, lifting weights, or practicing yoga. Why is movement linked to such a wide range of psychological benefits? One reason is its powerful and profound effects on the brain. Here are five surprising ways that being active is good for your brain — and how you can harness these benefits yourself. 1. The exercise “high” primes you to connect with others Although typically described as a runner’s high, an exercise-induced mood boost is not exclusive to running. A similar bliss can be found in any sustained physical activity. Scientists have long speculated that endorphins are behind the high, but research shows the high is linked to another class of brain chemicals: endocannabinoids (the same chemicals mimicked by cannabis) — what neuroscientists describe as “don’t worry, be happy” chemicals. RELATED: Happiness hormones – the neruochemicals of happiness Areas of the brain that regulate the stress response, including the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, are rich in receptors for endocannabinoids. When endocannabinoid molecules lock into these receptors, they reduce anxiety and induce a state of contentment. Endocannabinoids also increase dopamine in the brain’s reward system, which further fuels feelings of optimism. This exercise high also primes us to connect with others, by increasing the pleasure we derive from being around other people, which can strengthen relationships. Many people use exercise as an opportunity to connect with friends or loved ones. Among married couples, when spouses exercise together, both partners report more closeness later that day, including feeling loved and supported. Another study found that on days when people exercise, they report more positive interactions with friends and family. As one runner said to me, “My family will sometimes send me out running, as they know that I will come back a much better person.” 2. Exercise can make your brain more sensitive to joy When you exercise, you provide a low-dose jolt to the brain’s reward centers — the system of the brain that helps you anticipate pleasure, feel motivated, and maintain hope. Over time, regular exercise remodels the reward system, leading to higher circulating levels of dopamine and more available dopamine receptors. In this way, exercise can both relieve depression and expand your capacity for joy. Physical activity can boost happiness shutterstock/wavebreakmedia These changes can also repair the neurological havoc wreaked by substance abuse. Substance abuse lowers the level of dopamine in your brain and reduces the availability of dopamine receptors in the reward system. As result, people struggling with addiction can feel unmotivated, depressed, antisocial, and unable to enjoy ordinary pleasures. Exercise can reverse this. In one randomized trial, adults in treatment for methamphetamine abuse participated in an hour of walking, jogging, and strength training three times a week. After eight weeks, their brains showed an increase in dopamine receptor availability in the reward system. Jump-starting the brain’s reward system benefits not just those who struggle with depression or addiction. Our brains change as we age, and adults lose up to 13 per cent of the dopamine receptors in the reward system with each passing decade. This loss leads to less enjoyment of everyday pleasures, but physical activity can prevent the decline. Compared to their inactive peers, active older adults have reward systems that more closely resemble those of individuals who are decades younger. 3. Exercise makes you brave Courage is another side effect of physical activity on the brain. At the very same time that a new exercise habit is enhancing the reward system, it also increases neural connections among areas of the brain that calm anxiety. Regular physical activity can also modify the default state of the nervous system so that it becomes more balanced and less prone to fight, flight or fright. The latest research even suggests that lactate — the metabolic by-product of exercise that is commonly, but erroneously, blamed for muscle soreness — has positive effects on mental health. After lactate is released by muscles, it travels through the bloodstream to the brain, where it alters your neurochemistry in a way that can reduce anxiety and protect against depression. “Over time, regular exercise remodels the reward system, leading to higher circulating levels of dopamine. In this way, exercise can both relieve depression and expand your capacity for joy.” Sometimes, the movement itself allows us to experience ourselves as brave, as the language we use to describe courage relies on metaphors of the body. We overcome obstacles, break through barriers, and walk through fire. We carry burdens, reach out for help, and lift one another up. This is how we as humans talk about bravery and resilience. When we're faced with adversity or doubting our own strength, it can help to feel these actions in our bodies. The mind instinctively makes sense out of physical actions. Sometimes we need to climb an actual hill, pull ourselves up, or work together to shoulder a heavy load to know that these traits are a part of us. 4. Moving with others builds trust and belonging In 1912 French sociologist Émile Durkheim coined the term collective effervescence to describe the euphoric self-transcendence individuals feel when they move together in ritual, prayer, or work. Moving with others — for example, in group exercise, yoga, or dance classes — is one of the most powerful ways to experience joy. Psychologists believe the key to producing collective joy is synchrony — moving in the same way, and at the same time, as others — because it triggers a release of endorphins. This is why dancers and rowers who move in synch show an increase in pain tolerance. But endorphins don’t just make us feel good; they help us bond, too. People sharing an endorphin rush through a collective activity like, trust, and feel closer to one another afterward. It’s a powerful neurobiological mechanism for forming friendships, even with people we don’t know. Group exercise has managed to capitalize on the social benefits of synchronized movement. For example, the more you get your heart rate up, the closer you feel to the people you move in unison with, and adding music enhances the effect. Breathing in unison can also amplify the feeling of collective joy, as may happen in a yoga class. “Psychologists believe the key to producing collective joy is synchrony — moving in the same way, and at the same time, as others — because it triggers a release of endorphins.” We were born with brains able to craft a sense of connection to others that is as visceral as the feedback coming from our own heart, lungs, and muscles. That is an astonishing thing! We humans can go about most of our lives, sensing and feeling ourselves as separate, but through one small action — coming together in movement — we dissolve the boundaries that divide us. 5. Trying a new activity can transform your self-image Every time you move your body, sensory receptors in your muscles, tendons, and joints send information to your brain about what's happening. This is why if you close your eyes and raise one arm, you can feel the shift in position and know where your arm is in space. You don’t have to watch what’s happening; you can sense yourself. Synchrony in group dance boosts endorphins shutterstock/Dragon Images The ability to perceive your body’s movements is called proprioception, and is sometimes referred to as the “sixth sense.” It helps us move through space with ease and skill and plays a surprisingly important role in self-concept—how you think about who you are and how you imagine others see you. When you participate in any physical activity, your moment-to-moment sense of self is shaped by the qualities of your movement. If you move with grace, your brain perceives the elongation of your limbs and the fluidity of your steps, and realizes, “I am graceful.” When you move with power, your brain encodes the explosive contraction of muscles, senses the speed of the action, and understands, “I am powerful.” If there is a voice in your head saying, “You’re too old, too awkward, too big, too broken, too weak,” sensations from movement can provide a compelling counterargument. Physical accomplishments change how you think about yourself and what you are capable of, and the effect should not be underestimated. One woman I spoke with shared a story about when she was in her early 20s and found herself severely depressed, with a plan to take her own life. The day she intended to go through with it, she went to the gym for one last workout. She deadlifted 185 pounds, a personal best. When she put the bar down, she realized that she didn’t want to die. Instead, she remembers, “I wanted to see how strong I could become.” Five years later, she can now deadlift 300 pounds. Clearly, we were born to move, and the effects of exercise on our psychological and social well-being are many. So, why not start the new year right and add more movement to your life? No doubt you’ll feel better, be happier, and have better social relationships because of it. ● Main image: shutterstock/wavebreakmedia This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is grateful to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu