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Coping with loss, grief and loneliness during the holidays. Most people associate grief only with death, forgetting that we can grieve very many things that could include breakups, divorce, moving cities, being estranged from family members, death, friends or family in prison, etc. Many of us don't choose to be alone. Still, not everyone has a family to go to, and not everyone can afford the travel expense of visiting family members who live far away or abroad, while others have lost family or friends in other ways. The best way to overcome this feeling of loneliness during the holiday period, I found, is to allow yourself time to grieve and be sad. To feel and delve deep into those feelings that we so quickly want to avoid. Journaling is a fantastic tool to help process and release emotions if you don't feel like talking to anyone about it. A lot of us also have expectations of how the holidays should be, based on past experiences — expectations which leave us disappointed and frustrated when not fulfilled. Taking care of ourselves is essentially our own responsibility, and a great way to feel better and do better is to do things that make us feel good. Sleep more, eat healthy as often as we can, work out even for 20 minutes a day (if available to you), sit in the sun, read, meditate, go for a walk. For many people, pride, fear, timidness or shame prevents them from reaching out and asking for help. Please know that you're not the only one feeling these emotions or going through the grieving process, and it's totally ok to reach out and let people know your struggle. Open yourself to offers of help or invitations to events, even if you don't feel like going at all. It might be a blessing in disguise. Most importantly, find and do things you LOVE and that bring you joy. Most of us have time off work from the end of this week. Use that time to HAVE SOME FUN! Be it something you've always wanted to try, or something you haven't done in a looooong time. Just do it - as the ol' Nike saying goes. The holidays don't HAVE to be lonely. You do have a choice, and there's a lot you can do to heal and evolve. So, for anyone feeling lonely, lost, sad or emotional, this is for you. You're not alone. There's a bunch of people in this little community who'd be happy to lend an ear or a shoulder, I'm sure. I wish you all the best possible holiday season. For more on this topic, please check out this week's featured article in the Magazine.
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Many of us dream of living by the sea, and science shows coastal living could be beneficial for both our mental and physical health. Calvin Holbrook explores the therapeutic benefits of being in, on and by the water. Long before seaside spas became fashionable for those wanting a slice of rest and relaxation, respite close to the sea was – literally – just what the doctor ordered. During the mid-late 19th and early 20th centuries in the UK, people were regularly sent to convalesce by the coast, with sea-bathing hospitals being a common treatment. Indeed, in Victorian times, living by the sea was a way of treating those with consumption and chest diseases such as TB, as the fresh and salty sea air was believed to have curative properties. Fast forward to nowadays, and the reason many of us take our holidays by the seaside is because we appreciate the relaxing benefits of the ocean, sun and nature. But could making a more permanent move to the coast improve our health and mental well-being in the long-run? Let’s take a closer look at the science behind how living by the sea could benefit both your mind and body. The health benefits of living by the sea If you're thinking of moving to live by the seaside, here are four backed-by-science health benefits that may persuade you to take the plunger and make the change to coastal life. 1. Sea air helps you to sleep better If you feel sleepier or more rested after a visit to the seaside, there’s clear science to back up why. Dr Natasha Bijlani, a psychiatrist from London’s Priory’s Roehampton Hospital told Metro: “Sea air is good for sleep because it’s generally cleaner and fresher, with higher levels of oxygen, which can improve sleep.” In fact, negative ions in sea air accelerate your ability to absorb oxygen, and also help balance your serotonin levels, one of the body's happiness hormones. A seaside hike can lead to better sleep shutterstock/Paul Nash A 2015 study from the National Trust seems to corroborate the idea that breathing in sea air helps you to sleep better. It found that people sleep on average for 47 minutes longer the night after a decent seaside hike. That’s compared to only an additional 12 minutes for those who went on an inland walk of a similar length. Environmental psychologist Eleanor Ratcliffe, who carried out the National Trust research, said: “It’s clear there’s something really special about the coast that can allow people to boost their mood, relax and sleep.” 2. The coast boosts your mental health As well as improving sleep, recent scientific research shows that coastal living can also help in warding off depression and anxiety. A study from the University of Exeter looked at the census data of 48 million adults in England and how their rated their own health, in relation to where they lived. The results showed that people living close to the coast experience lower mental distress, but when the same people moved inland, the effects were reversed. Dr Lewis Elliott from the University of Exeter confirmed: “We discovered that the closer people live to the coast in England, the better they rate their health.” RELATED: Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature More recently, in October 2019, another study from the same team published in the journal Health & Place backed up their previous findings. The researchers surveyed almost 26,000 people to analyze the mental health well-being effects of being close to the coast. The results showed that those who live less than 1km from the sea are 22 per cent less likely to have mental health symptoms compared to those living over 50km away. This corroborated an earlier study from 2013 which concluded that you’re more likely to have better mental health if you live within 5km of the British coastline. “As well as improving sleep, recent scientific research shows that coastal living can also help in warding off depression and anxiety.” In fact, you don’t even have to get your feet wet to feel the mental and health benefits of living by the sea. Simply looking out at the vast ocean in front of you can help to put your worries into perspective. Your fears may seem trivial when you look at the skyline ahead: this is down to the power of awe. And a 2015 study showed that even just having a view of the sea can promote improvements in mood and a reduction in heart rate. Additionally, the sound of the waves can be very calming. 3. Salt water helps your body heal Physical health improvements are another potential benefit of living by the sea. Sea water is rich in minerals such as magnesium, chloride, sodium, potassium, iodine and sulphur, many of which have curative and anti-inflammatory effects on the skin. Indeed, a 1999 study from the University of Freiburg in Germany found that a combination of sea water and UVB radiation can improve troubling skin problems such as dermatitis and psoriasis. Coastal living means you can enjoy water sports rawpixel.com/shutterstock Talking to Woman & Home magazine, Kevin Benitez Garcia of Gran Canaria Wellness explained: “Soaking in seawater is nature’s skin treatment – it’s great for sensitive or eczema-prone skin.” With psoriasis, cell turnover is high, so replenishing it with minerals that the body has used up could explain why bathing in salty sea water helps so many people. RELATED: The 6 Science-Backed Benefits of Living Simply Additionally, the sea air contains a mist of saline water, which appears to have a soothing effect on the respiratory system’s mucosal lining. So, people living with health conditions such as sinusitis could benefit from living by the sea. It seems those Victorians were really onto something! 4. A more active, and therefore healthier, lifestyle A 2014 study from the UK found that coastal proximity increased your chances of being fitter and healthier than those who lived elsewhere – partly due to the fact that those living closer to the sea have higher levels of physical activity. Indeed, the study found that you’re more likely to exercise regularly if you live within 1km of the English coastline. “Physical health improvements are another potential benefit of living by the sea. Sea water is rich in minerals, many of which have curative and anti-inflammatory effects on the skin.” Of course, the sea offers up the opportunity for swimming during warmer months, but the water also provides the chance to get involved in other sports all year round such as sailing, surfing or paddleboaring. Likewise, the coastline provides the perfect opportunity to keep fit through jogging, running and hiking. Dr Elliott from the University of Exeter told Coast magazine: “We know that when people go to the beach, there are opportunities to be physically active and people are more likely to stay there for longer. Physical activity has a strong effect on mental health, and when combined with being in a natural, coastal environment, these effects become even stronger.” Coastal living: the takeaway It's clear from research that there are various benefits of living by the sea for both our mental and physical health. Studies suggest that it can help with depression and that a coastal environment offers up more chance for physical fitness. So, while we all enjoy our holidays by the sea, could a more permanent move to the coast benefit us? Science seems to suggest it does. Dr Elliott said: “the cumulative effect of actually living by the sea could have a much greater effect in the longer term.” ● Main image: shutterstock/I-ing happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Family activities | Benefits of gardening Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness.com magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also loves hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!
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It was brought on by stress about 10 years ago. My eating is not very regular. I pick very little throughout the day but that’s it. If I’m out somewhere for the day I will have a meal. I avoid dairy and bread. I work full time, as a chef. So I’m on my feet all day. I weigh about 9st xXx
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Yes, thank you @Sany those are more things to consider. There's so much potential for understanding ourselves better. Some feelings in the tummy might be connected to being hungry or full or having eaten something that doesn't agree with us too well, it might as well be an emotion or thought manifesting in the body like excitement or stress. So many messages to decipher ... so much potential :-)
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Transforming fear into compassion.
CupcakeDolly replied to Compassionate 's topic in Happiness & Life Advice Forum
Hello! I don't know you or your life at all, but based on what you've written I think it might be best to ask yourself if you're truly being compassionate towards others or if you're just giving your energy away to them without regard for how much you should keep for yourself. In order to develop the ability to feel unconditional love for your fellow humans it's imperative that you learn to love yourself unconditionally first—perhaps even MORE than you love others, because you need a solid foundation of love to start from before you try to build on top of it. Take care of yourself. Forgive yourself. Treat your body and mind with the same kind of love that you'd like to give to others. As far as how to transform fear into love, I'm afraid (no pun intended) that I don't know. I'm still looking for the answer to that as well, but if I find any interesting resources I'll be sure to post them here. <3 -
This year the mainstream media has been full of stories about climate emergency, political scandal, crime increases, and other less-than-positive events. But, if you scratched below the surface, there were plenty of great feel-good news items to feel excited about. Ed Gould shares his top 19 positive news stories of 2019 to inspire and uplift you! 1. Over half of millennials eat in an environmentally-friendly way According to the New York Post, a large survey conducted in the United States found that millennials have made significant changes to their diets in order to benefit the environment. The August poll, commissioned by Sweet Earth Foods, found that nearly 60 per cent of millennials had a low carbon footprint diet, including veganism and eating less red meat. Of these, most said they were motivated by climate change. RELATED: Eat these 8 good mood foods 2. Eating greens really is good for you Continuing the food theme, research published in May suggested that certain greens – in particular, broccoli and kale – contain compounds that are great at suppressing the growth of tumours and other cancerous cells. A team from Harvard Medical School in Boston spent time researching prostate tumours and their reaction to compound indole-3-carbinol (which appears naturally in green vegetables). Known as a suppressor protein, the compound could be used as a way to treat tumours and even prevent them from occurring in the first place, according to Medical News Today. Mother always said “eat your greens”... and she was right! shutterstock/RossHelen 3. Breakthrough technology allows blind people to perceive light In September, a novel technology was demonstrated in the US which allows blind people to gain more visual perception. A research team from UCLA Health used surgical implants in four blind patients to allow them to perceive light and dark. A wireless device 'looks' at objects which then sends signals to the implant. The brain is then able to perceive the implant's stimulation as patches of light and dark. In some cases, blind people have been able to sense individual objects and even movement. 4. Kayak across Europe for free In May, a scheme was announced whereby tourists can kayak the great waterways of Europe without charge. Rather than paying to rent a kayak for a day or two during their stay, people will now be able to obtain them without cost. The catch? You have to collect rubbish from the canals in urban centres. The initiative is up and running in Denmark thanks to an organisation called GreenKayak but it's hoped the scheme will spread to other big cities with man-made waterways. Seems like a win-win situation! Paddle power: clean up by kayaking 5. Free sanitary products for schools Back in March, a pilot scheme offering free sanitary products for children and teens in England's secondary schools was announced, hoping to provide support for the 10 per cent of young women who cannot afford to buy menstrual products each month. This follows Scotland's lead. In 2017 the country became the first globally to provide free sanitary products to all females in schools, colleges and universities. UK activists hope the new scheme will be equally expanded. 6. The world is getting greener If you think the planet is becoming more and more deforested you’re not alone. However, NASA brought a little happiness to this gloomy view. Its satellite imagery has shown that there are actually more trees, not fewer, than a few years ago. As reported by CNN in February, the US space agency has noted that both India and China have been planting trees and agricultural crops that have created more vegetation overall. Since 2000, it’s estimated that leaf-covered spaces of the planet have risen by some 2,000,000 square miles. Green is go: there are more trees than ever before shutterstock/DugDax 7. A healthy gut can lower anxiety The benefits of healthy gut bacteria have long been known to medical science as helping with digestion and all-round physical health. According to several reports back in May, Chinese researchers found that a healthy gut may also lead to better mental well-being. A team at the Shanghai Jiao Tong University School of Medicine discovered that consumption of foodstuffs containing probiotics – which help to promote a healthy gut – could lead to lower anxiety levels. In fact, the researchers said their work demonstrated that it was a good idea to treat anxiety symptoms by regulating a patient's intestinal microbiota. RELATED: Panic attacks – 12 tips on what to do when anxiety hits hard 8. Hugging is great for mental health You may have known it all along but hugging really is good for you – and a group of researchers believe they've proved it. In a study of over 400 individuals, people who hugged were shown to feel less negative responses throughout their entire day after they'd received one. People who had been hugged showed lower blood pressure as well as augmented levels of happiness hormone oxytocin. Interestingly, single people and those in partnerships were found to demonstrate the same sorts of responses within this study from November. A hug a day keeps the demons away! shutterstock/sebra 9. Playing games helps thinking, study finds Scientific research conducted over decades found that playing board games which involve memory and problem solving can help you to retain thinking skills in old age. Psychologists from the University of Edinburgh studied over 1,000 people in their 70s to come up with the findings which focussed on non-digital games such as bingo, chess, cards and crosswords. In November, University of Edinburgh's Dr Drew Altschul said: “These latest findings add to evidence that being more engaged in activities during life might be associated with better thinking skills in later life.” RELATED: Cognitive impairment - 5 key ways to reduce the risk as you age 10. Saunas may help reduce heart disease risk According to The Independent, a study found that regularly taking saunas can help to prevent heart disease. The work, published in the BMC Medicine journal in September, claimed that cardiovascular disease is less common among the over-50s age group if they enjoy saunas on a frequent basis. The research was conducted in Finland over the course of a 15-year period. It's not yet known why saunas seem to be so beneficial for heart health in older age. However, one researcher said that it could be tied up with the fact that taking saunas is a relaxing activity that may help to lower blood pressure. Saunas could reduce heart disease shutterstock/Med Photo Studio 11. Wind energy study states Europe could power the world In reports made in The Independent in August, an academic study calculated that Europe has sufficient space and the right meteorological conditions to supply enough electrical energy to meet the whole world's needs. By 2050, 497 exajoules of power could be derived from wind in the continent, which is more than enough to go around. The study said that a mixture of both onshore and offshore would be needed to meet this, especially as global demand rises. Turkey and Norway were singled out as countries which were particularly suited to wind energy. 12. Liver transplants could be revolutionised According to a report on the BBC, scientists have developed a new procedure for conducting liver transplants. This, it's hoped, will help to speed up the rate at which they can be transplanted, helping to slash waiting times. Donated livers are normally chilled, which mean they can degrade. The new idea is to use perfusion machines in order to keep livers in good condition for longer, offering greater flexibility for finding suitable recipients. 13. The tiger population is on the up In July, The Daily Telegraph reported that the numbers of tigers roaming around India may have risen by as much as 30 per cent since 2014. Back then, new measures were brought in to protect these big cats. This means that well over two-thirds of the wild tiger population now lives within India's borders. The country is now on track to meet its internationally agreed commitments to improve global tiger numbers by creating safer habitats for these impressive creatures. The cat's back: there are more tigers in Nepal than previously thought 14. Paper recycling receives a boost In September, The Week reported that a clever new technique for 'unprinting' paper had been developed at Rutgers University in the USA. Scientists there have created a way of erasing black, blue, red and green ink from printed pages, meaning already-printed documents can be erased and then reused (up to five times). As its done locally, this eliminates the costs and energy consumption associated with transporting office paper to reprocessing centres. 15. Survey revealed what really makes us happy A study reported in the Metro revealed the keys to happiness in June. The survey, commissioned by private healthcare group Bupa, showed that having a loving relationship and being close to family was most important when it came to what make us feel happy. Other things that made the Top Ten included getting at least eight hours of sleep, regular exercise, owning a pet, connecting with nature, and – crucially, perhaps – laughing frequently. The study asked 2,000 UK-based adults aged 55 what they though the secrets to a long and happy life were. Interestingly, the average age respondents said they finally realised what the secrets to happiness were was 49! A giggle is good: laughter is a key happiness provider 16. New technique could make chemotherapy more bearable In January, a team of American medical researchers revealed how chemotherapy can be made more effective by concentrating it in the parts of the body. The idea is to insert tiny sponge-like materials into the patient's bloodstream so that the chemicals used in the therapies cannot pass through. The technique has been referred to as a 'chemofilter' and is something that could potentially improve the lives of many cancer sufferers. The study was conducted by Professor Nitash Balsara from the University of California at Berkley. 17. Marijuana may be more potent than aspirin According to Sky News in July, a scientific study into anti-inflammatories found that certain molecules in cannabis plants could be up to 30 times stronger than common drugs like aspirin. The work, undertaken in Canada, builds an even stronger case for the use of certain therapies derived from cannabis plants. According to the lead researcher, Professor Tariq Akhtar, the molecule in question has no psychoactive effect, potentially making it ideal for a new medicine. 18. Poaching of African elephants in decline Thanks to successful anti-poaching initiatives in much of central and southern Africa, the number of elephants there falling prey to ivory hunters has fallen over the last six years by up to 50 per cent. In fact, CBS reported that one reserve in Mozambique had seen no elephants lost to poachers over the course of an entire 12-month period – remarkable given the number of animals that used to be hunted. Specialists claim the real driver in this success has been lowering global demand for ivory which, in turn, disincentives the practices of poachers in the first place. Tusk luck: poaching of African elephants is in decline 19. Breakthrough found in the fight against Parkinson's disease Scientists at the University of Ontario in Canada found a way to restore movement to patients with advanced stages of this debilitating condition. According to reports from the BBC in April, the team's brain implantation method has produced results which exceeded all expectations. They hope to turn their approach into a full treatment which will restore both mobility and confidence to sufferers. ● Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.
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"cheating" versus adapting the practice to your own needs
Tine replied to Tine 's topic in Happiness & Life Advice Forum
Regarding the MBSR course, I think it's pretty straight forward: Doing the formal and informal practices as scheduled in the course. Within that, you can choose between a longer and a shorter version. But stick to the minimum time and stick with the type of meditation. Altering the position as needed is ok. Once you've finished the course, and you want to maintain your meditation routine, it becomes harder. For example, I found myself cheating using a Yoga Nidra session on insight timer to fall asleep. It's counted there as a meditation but not only did I know that while it does have it's benefits it's not the kind of mental exercise I was supposed to be doing, rather something I could do as well. After a while, I also became aware of how the positive changes mindfulness meditation were getting weaker. Going to a Vipassana retreat was my way to kickstart my meditation practice again thoroughly. Somehow I feel it's like going to the gym. If it's not somehow hard if there's no "sweat" if there's no inner resistance to overcome there's little to be gained, and if we are honest to ourselves we know when we are making the easy choice. I easily fall asleep lying down as well unless I am incredibly well-rested. So I sometimes do the bodyscan in my regular meditation position, which helps a lot staying awake as well as staying warm as I do use a warm blanket. -
Hi All! I'd like to start by thanking evryone at happiness.com for this wonderful opportunity. I have practicing mindfulness for about 10 years. Formal training was always an interest but the dollar factor just did not match. I am ecstatic being given the chance to join happiness.com, the Academy and the forum. I have learned so much aready! Never before when I practiced my bodyscan did my baby toes and baby fingers both feel stronger and connected at the same time. Already I am more productive and less stressed. The different styles of the presenters makes the classes exciting. I'm experiencing a new clarity just being a part of the mindfulness activities required and shared with me through the academy. Thank you again and I look forward to week 2. Peace and blessings, Miriam
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A new book explains six keys to learning that can help anyone overcome barriers to success in school or in life. By Jill Suttie on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. Recently, a close friend’s niece was having trouble graduating from college. She needed to pass a math class to graduate but wouldn’t take it because she feared flunking it. A belief that she just wasn’t “good at math” was keeping her stuck in graduation limbo, unable to move on with her life. I know my friend’s niece isn’t the first person to be cowed by a math course or some other seemingly insurmountable barrier to success. Maybe someone gave you the message that you weren’t talented enough to succeed in a particular field; or you just didn’t have the confidence to persevere when you struggled. Now, a new book, Limitless Mind: Learn, Lead, and Live Without Barriers by Jo Boaler, explains what’s wrong with this attitude. Boaler, a Stanford University math professor, argues that people can learn just about anything once they understand how their brains work and how to support their own learning. Her book is a call to discard old notions of “giftedness” and to fully embrace the new science of the mind, thereby transforming schools, organizations, and workplaces into environments that support rather than limit success. The problem with talent “Millions of children, every year, start school excited about what they will learn, but quickly become disillusioned when they get the idea they are not as ‘smart’ as others,” writes Boaler. That’s because parents and teachers inadvertently give out the message that talent is inborn — you either have it or you don’t. As a math professor, Boaler has seen this firsthand. Many young adults enter her class anxious about math, and their fear about learning impacts their ability to learn. Retrain your brain and start learning again “The myth that our brains are fixed and that we simply don’t have the aptitude for certain topics is not only scientifically inaccurate; it's omnipresent and negatively impacts not only education, but many other events in our everyday lives,“ she writes. Even though the science of neuroplasticity – how our brains change in response to learning – suggests learning can take place at any age, this news has not made it into classrooms, she argues. Some of our misguided visions of talent have led to racist and sexist attitudes, she writes. For example, many girls get the message early on that math is for boys and that boys are better at it, interfering with their ability to succeed and leading to gender disparities in fields of study related to math. Similarly, people of color may also have to overcome stereotypes about fixed intelligence in order to thrive. How our minds help us learn Luckily, Boaler doesn’t stop at pointing out the problem but also provides tips to help anyone, whether they’re math-phobic or worried about other impediments to learning, to create a new mindset. 1. Understand that your brain is always changing “Every time we learn, our brain forms, strengthens, or connects neural pathways,” writes Boaler. This means that no one is stuck at birth with a limit on what they can learn. Instead, it’s the belief in giftedness and how that impacts the way teachers teach that actually hampers people’s learning. For example, when schools practice tracking – dividing students into different reading groups or math groups based on ability – it can produce worse results for students than keeping mixed-ability students together. As research from Teresa Iuculano and her colleagues has shown, the brains of people who have been labeled early on as “learning disabled” can be completely rewired after a short program involving one-on-one tutoring. 2. Learn to embrace struggle, mistakes and failure Students and teachers commonly believe that getting the right answer on a test shows that students are learning. But, as Boaler points out, it’s actually when students practice difficult things – problems just beyond their ability – that the brain works harder and imprints new knowledge. This also makes the knowledge more accessible later on. “The science of neuroplasticity – how our brains change in response to learning – suggests learning can take place at any age.” Practising what they can already do well actually hinders students’ learning; making mistakes helps them focus in on different ways of considering a problem, which helps strengthen learning. When teachers encourage students to struggle and students give themselves permission to make mistakes, it can be incredibly freeing for both. 3. Change your beliefs about your mind, and your brain will follow When you change your mind about yourself, it turns out that this will also change your body and brain. For example, researchers found that adults who had negative ideas about aging in their younger years – between 18 and 49 years old – were more likely to experience a cardiovascular event during the next 38 years, regardless of their initial age, heart health, race, or many other factors. The same is true for how you think about your learning. For example, if young kids learn that their success in school is tied to being smart rather than tied to effort, they may be less motivated to learn later on. 4. Try multiple approaches to learning Though it’s important to have a growth mindset for learning – a belief that knowledge isn’t fixed, but can be developed through effort and perseverance – it’s also important to try new learning strategies. Multi-dimensional approaches to teaching and learning work best because they engage many areas of the brain at once, and communication between different brain areas aids in learning. Even math proficiency can be enhanced by seemingly unrelated knowledge or skills – like verbal skills or finger perception (the ability to identify our fingers without looking at them). “The new discoveries about the working of the brain are revealing the need for a different approach to teaching that is more physical, multidimensional, and creative than the approaches that have been used in the past in most institutions of learning,” writes Boaler. “Practising what they can already do well actually hinders students’ learning; making mistakes helps them focus in on different ways of considering a problem, which helps strengthen learning.” In her own research, she found that this multi-pronged approach to teaching math – challenging students to consider problems using different strategies, like storytelling or visual art – was much more effective for learning, especially for girls, English language learners, and economically disadvantaged students. This suggests that approaching something you want to learn from multiple angles is better than just trying to get it “right.” 5. Aim for flexible thinking rather than speed Too often, teachers and learners think that being fast at something means you’re good at it. But, as research suggests, that’s not often the case. Trying to do something under pressure – such as a timed test – can cause stress, which compromises the working memory needed to recall important information. That’s why Boaler argues that giving students long problem sets to solve at home, or trying to measure math performance under timed conditions, is not useful. It could also unnecessarily discourage potential future math scholars who give up early because they think speed equals competency. Age shouldn't be a factor when it comes to new learning shutterstock/Monkey Business Images While some students thrive in timed tests and are adept at cramming for exams, it’s not likely their learning will stick, says Boaler. Instead, engaging with material in flexible ways over time is key to learning. 6. Try collaboration Schools that teach a growth mindset won’t necessarily help students learn better if there is not peer support for the idea – meaning, if students still buy into the myth of the gifted student. It’s crucial for schools to reinforce the idea that learning together is better than learning alone. As one study showed, working together instead of alone can make the difference between passing a difficult math class and giving up and failing the class. “An important change takes place when students work together and discover that everybody finds some or all of the work difficult,” writes Boaler. It reinforces the idea “that learning is a process and that obstacles are common.” Focusing on collaboration in the classroom — rather than trying to test students individually — also more closely resembles the work world, argues Boaler, and can help reduce the gender bias so often found in science-related subjects. In the case of my friend’s niece, she ended up drawing on the support of her aunt and connecting with a tutor who encouraged a growth mindset, taught her new strategies for problem solving, and helped reduce her math anxiety. Eventually, she took the math class and passed with flying colors. Her story is an important reminder that the obstacles to learning are often more a function of our approach than of our ability. As Boaler’s work — and that of countless others — suggests, our minds may be less limited than we think. ● Main image: shutterstock/Carlos David This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is grateful to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu
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Greetings Happiness Friends: Starting 12/14/2019 please offer your 12 days of Mindful Happiness. You can do 1 each day or compile a list for 12 days, either way you will feel good! This is a way to reduce our holiday stress and do some self care/love. So join in....will expire 12/25/19! Be mindful, b happy,
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Really interesting article, I didn't realize there were some many different types of grief. I think we often forget that the grieving process isn't only relate to death. I've also heard people comment on how others 'didn't cry' or 'posts way too much about it on social media', and I think it's so important to keep in mind that everyone grieves differently and has their own process to go through. What might seem exaggerated or 'cold' to you, is exactly what someone else needs based on the type of grief they're experiencing.
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The Bright Side: positive news from November
Calvin77 posted an article in INSPIRATION & SPIRITUALITY
Tired of negative news? These feel-good stories from November highlight the positive things happening in the world. Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up from the month. November was full of feel-good news. If you thought that there was too little happiness and not enough to cheer you in the mainstream news outlets, then read on to discover some of the positive stories you may have missed. 1. Police use mindfulness techniques to help officers According to the i newspaper, five constabularies in the UK have been trialling mindfulness training in order to prevent burnout and to boost officer retention. The training is there to save money in recruitment and training costs in the long run but the other benefits of mindfulness may mean that it's soon extended to other police forces. 2. Steel made without fossil fuels in world first Although steel is needed for many renewable energy products, it's carbon-intensive to make, usually requiring coal to be burned to generate enough energy. In a global first, an Austrian steel-making firm has powered its furnaces entirely from hydrogen – a clean source of fuel. According to Manufacturers' Monthly, a consortium of partners developed the project along with €18 million of EU public funding. 3. Whale species faring better than expected Not that long ago, the humpback whale was close to extinction. The species tends to inhabit the southern Atlantic but is found elsewhere these days, too, as its numbers have grown. Scientists now estimate that the largest breeding group currently numbers around 25,000 individuals, a surprisingly large figure given how low it had previously dropped. Conservationists say that this attests to the success of bans on commercial whaling. It's thought that current methods of estimating whale numbers are more accurate than ever before because it's done with technologies deployed in the air as well as at sea. It's (hump) back: this whale species is on the rise shutterstock/Chris Holman 4. Bacteria harnessed to help climate change In feel-good news for anyone who thinks that carbon capture technology will help to save the planet from the worst outcomes of climate change, scientists have altered the DNA of a bacteria so that it survives solely by consuming carbon dioxide. According to the Independent, Israeli researchers have altered E-coli so that it can consume CO2 in a similar manner to plants! RELATED: Feel-good news from October 5. Canada pushes for green aviation fuel According to Renewables Now, a non-profit group called the Green Aviation Research and Development Network – funded by the Canadian government and the aerospace industry – has launched a new project designed to augment the supply of sustainable aviation fuel in the country. The so-called BioPortYVR project will set up regional supply chains so that biofuel can be made in the country without relying on imports. 6. Playing games helps thinking, study finds Scientific research conducted over decades has found that playing board games which involve memory and problem solving can help you to retain thinking skills in old age. Psychologists from the University of Edinburgh studied over 1,000 people in their 70s to come up with the findings which focussed on non-digital games such as bingo, chess, cards and crosswords. University of Edinburgh's Dr Drew Altschul said: “These latest findings add to evidence that being more engaged in activities during life might be associated with better thinking skills in later life.” RELATED: Cognitive impairment – 5 ways to reduce the risk as you age Game on: playing chess could help retain thinking skills shutterstock/Freeograph 7. Simple test for breast cancer could be a game-changer Although screening for breast cancer is common, medical researchers have long sought a simpler and more reliable solution. According to The Guardian, a simple blood test could replace the current method and provide an accurate idea of whether the disease is present in women five years ahead of it becoming noticeable. A team from Nottingham University’s School of Medicine looked into the presence of antigens in the blood to make predictions about clinical signs of breast cancer later becoming apparent. Their findings were presented at a national cancer conference in Glasgow in November, and the team successfully spotted the condition in a number of women in their sample group and were also able to show when it was not present accurately, too. 8. New hope for endangered gharials A type of crocodile has been discovered in Nepal, an area where it was thought to have been wiped out, according to reports from the BBC. The gharial is a species that resembles a crocodile with a large snout, and it has few places in the world where its habitat is still suitable. The discovery of around 100 hatchlings of this endangered species has therefore brought a great deal of happiness to conservationists in Asia looking to protect them. A member of the Zoological Society of London found the baby reptiles basking in the sun in Nepal's Bardia National Park. RELATED: Feel-good news from September 9. Audio used to breathe new life into coral reefs Researchers have long been worried about the prospects for coral reefs under the challenge of global warming. However, so-called dead patches of corals are being brought back to life by playing sounds via underwater speakers. Australian scientists are using the audio associated with healthy coral reefs to lure fish back to them. This can then kickstart the ecosystem and lead to a revival, according to reports in the Daily Mail. Sounds great: music is helping a coral comeback 10. UK museum returns items to indigenous Australian communities So-called restorative justice is a big talking point in the museum sector these days but it rarely happens. However, in a significant move that could lead to more museums following suit, the Manchester Museum has decided to return dozens of artefacts to the descendants of their original owners. The museum held a ceremony in which around 40 sacred and ceremonial items were handed back to representatives of several indigenous Australian communities. As reported by Museum Next, the repatriation of these items coincided with the 250th anniversary of Captain James Cook's first European voyage to Australia. ● Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki. -
Hi everyone, My name is Shannon. I live in the Syracuse, NY area and currently have a SNOW DAY from work so I thought this would be a great day to start the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course here. I am a pretty happy woman most of the time, but definitely suffer in the winter! Nice to e-meet all of you!
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Meditation and mindfulness are becoming increasingly popular for kids, with schools incorporating them into classes. Meditation practitioner Ann Vrlak looks at the benefits for children and explains three great meditation techniques you can practise with your own kids. Have you noticed that meditation and mindfulness courses for kids are starting to pop up everywhere? In schools and in programs devoted to children? In the same way meditation for adults has seen an explosion in the West over the last 30 years, educators and psychologists are now sending a clear message: meditation for kids is a powerful life skill. And when children learn mindfulness at a young age, we can plant seeds that grow and bear fruit throughout their whole life. What is meditation? There are so many styles of meditation it can sometimes be confusing. But meditation for kids can be put into two basic categories: mindfulness and imagination. The definition of mindfulness I like to use teaching kids is this: paying attention to the present moment, right now, with kindness and curiosity. I explain all the terms in ways they can easily understand: “paying attention,” “right now” and, most importantly, “with kindness and curiosity.” There’s a lot in that simple definition for kids to understand and to practice. Meditation for kids is a powerful life tool shutterstock/vectorfusionart There are many mindfulness-based practices for kids, many of which use the senses and the breath, to help them explore this definition of mindfulness. And imagination-based meditations use kids’ amazing power of imagination to take journeys into their body, to relaxing places or to experience different qualities like the strength and safety of the Earth. I’ll take you through an imagination exercise on grounding in the earth later in this article. Kids are very good – usually much better than adults – at really feeling what they imagine, taking in those qualities and making them their own. Why are schools integrating meditation? Ideally, schools are places where kids learn a lot about life: about different subjects from math to art; about achievement and evaluation; about friendship, peer pressure and conflict – and much more. RELATED: 7 of the best mindfulness books for kids And it’s not news that these things can be stressful for people of any age. It’s sobering to know that more kids than ever are experiencing anxiety and depression. According to the CDC, in the USA, 7 per cent of children aged between three and 17 have diagnosed anxiety (approximately 4.4 million kids), and just over 3 per cent in the same age range (approximately 1.9 million) have diagnosed depression. Research shows that at younger and younger ages, children are feeling the pressure to excel at school or to be accepted by schoolmates. So, schools are an ideal place to introduce meditation for kids. They can learn how meditation can help them cope with life challenges. There are two key reasons that meditation has become a favourite tool to build these kinds of skills. “Meditation for kids is a powerful life skill. And when children learn mindfulness at a young age, we can plant seeds that grow and bear fruit throughout their whole life.” Firstly, because over the past few decades researchers have become very interested in studying meditation in general and for kids in particular. We have many studies now that show the proven psychological, emotional and physical benefits of meditation. There's one school in the US – Patterson High School in Baltimore – that is successfully using meditation as a “time out” activity for kids if they're acting out. Called the Mindful Moment Program, this innovative idea gives kids the skills to be with themselves and calm down through meditation and yoga – and with great results. Since launching the program, suspensions for fighting have dropped, and both attendance figures and the average GPA of first time ninth graders has increased. Secondly, meditation for kids has become so valued because of the wide and varied range of those benefits. Here are just some of the strengths and skills kids can build when they practice simple, non-religious meditation practices. They have been shown to: 1. Foster self-compassion and compassion for others Remember the definition of mindfulness earlier in this article? The part about kindness and curiosity? Observing yourself, and others, with kindness (rather than criticism or judgement) builds a caring relationship with yourself and empathy for others. 2. Improve focus and concentration Many meditation for kids exercises involve paying attention to something in particular and learning what to do when your mind wanders from your task. 3. Reduce stress, anxiety and depression Meditation exercises that show kids how to connect with their bodies, breath and senses calm their nervous system. They learn how to trigger this physiological healing and, again, to treat themselves with kindness while they practice and sometimes experience difficult emotions. Meditation in schools is proving successful for kids 4. Help kids make better decisions When kids are more calm and focused, and practicing self-care, they’re better able to make good choices. 5. Enhance creativity Meditation activates and integrates many areas of the brain. Creativity is powered up! 6. Self-regulate their emotions and behavior There are meditation exercises specifically for handling tough emotions, like sadness or anger or frustration. Kids can learn powerful ways have their emotions, rather than their emotions having them. Teaching meditation to your child at home Whether or not your child’s school has meditation or mindfulness programs, you can teach them meditation at home. And one of the great things is that you will also benefit from the practice. Indeed, it’s a great way to learn together, share experiences and strengthen your relationship with your children. “Schools are an ideal place to introduce meditation for kids. They can learn how meditation can help them cope with life challenges.” So, what do meditation practices for kids look like? Here are a few simple ones you can try – two mindfulness based and one imagination-based. Try them yourself a few times before you teach them. Keep the practices short – about one minute per year of age: five minute exercises with five year olds, and so on. And keep these things in mind for all the exercises: To begin, find a comfortable position either sitting up or lying down. Take a couple of deep relaxing breaths. When your mind wanders away from the particular exercise, that’s totally fine. That’s what your mind does! Just bring it back gently to the exercise. Know these exercises have two basic purposes: to help kids strengthen their attention and to guide them toward a particular positive experience. Ask them about their experiences and share what you experienced, too. Mindfulness-based exercises 1. Swing with your breath Paying attention to the breath is a great way to soothe the nervous system and bring some calm. Start paying attention to your breath in your chest. Feel your chest moving up and down. And feel how the movement of your breath is like being on a swing. There’s an upswing and a slight pause, then the downswing and a slight pause. Then the movement starts again. The goal of the exercise is to pay attention to and feel this whole movement – including the small quiet pauses – for as long as you can. Staying close to physical sensations helps kids relax and feel grounded in their bodies. Practising meditation at home is a great way to connect with your kids shutterstock/fizkes 2. Sounds and silence This is an example of a meditation exercise that uses kids’ sense of sound. Sensory-based practices are a great way for them to become present and calm. For this exercise, you'll need some sort of chime or bell. If you don’t have one, you can experiment with a glass or bowl that makes a ringing sound when you hit it with a spoon, for example. The sound should last 10 seconds or more. Tell your child that the purpose of the exercise is to listen to the whole sound – from the time you strike the chime until the sound disappears into silence. And when they can’t hear the sound, they raise their hand. Repeat this several times. You can quietly ask your child questions before each chime. “See if you can hear the sound even longer this time.” Or, “What do you hear after the sound is gone?” Imagination-based exercise 1. Your grounding cord In this exercise, kids imagine being connected to the whole planet earth, and all the strength and safety that brings. This exercise is done best in a sitting position, on the floor or on a chair. Guide your child to feel their tailbone and where it meets the floor or chair. Ask them to imagine a cord going from the tip of their tailbone down into the earth. Start at about five feet and progressively go deeper and deeper, until their grounding cord goes right to the centre of the earth. As you go, guide the child to feel the solidity and safety of the Earth, and how they are connected to all that strength through their cord. Use your imagination, too! Create a journey of exploration about the qualities of the earth and the child’s ability to really feel them. To finish, bring the grounding cord slowly up again, right up to your child’s tailbone. Ask them to enjoy how they feel and, if they like, to describe it to you. For example, how their body felt, what they saw or heard – leave the door open to hear their experience. It will help them to imprint the experience. Takeaway: meditation for kids We’re living in a wonderful time for meditation for kids. There are many programs and resources online and maybe even in your community that offer ways to bring meditation into your lives. I’ve given you a few links to explore at the bottom of this article. Plant the seeds of meditation for your child and watch them take root. ● Main image: shutterstock/wavebreakmedia Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.
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As @ShareeBelshaw already pointed out, the MBSR course can help loads with rumination and negative self-talk. So great to hear someone talk about the program and recommend it with the same enthusiasm as I do. Thank you! I know this from my own experience and the amazing effect it had in hindsight in my own life motivated to become an MBSR trainer myself. However, if you are going through a strong depressive episode looking more intensively at your thoughts might not be advised. Even if you are managing your depression reasonably well at the moment, you should talk to your therapist before you join the program. Also, speak to friends and family about it, and always remember "you are the expert for yourself". We usually know if we are lazy and our thoughts want to talk us into not going to the gym or going to the gym really hurts our knees or spine. It's similar with this there is some inner resistance we need to overcome to get our meditation and mindfulness practise going, but that's different to actually hurt ourselfs. We usually know which one is which. Besides that welcome! I think talking about depression and mental health, sharing our stories and struggles and most importantly realizing we are not alone with what we are going through might be one of the most powerful steps to acceptance and from there to change.
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Hello beautiful people ?
Deleted profile replied to Maltija85 's topic in Introduction Circle - A warm welcome to happiness!
That is a great response. Living in a capitalist society is increasing stress and making people ill. The less I worry about money and things, the happier I am. -
Hi @Maltija85, I noticed your other post on IBS and thought about the correlation to fibromyalgia regarding the disbiosys of your gut microbiome. A quick research lead me to believe that both issues are related: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325535.php#1 https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/06/190620100043.htm https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31219947 I dont wanna sound overly excited, but having had issues with mild IBS for a long time, I know that the composition of your gut bacteria aka gut microbiome is not a fixed thing, but can change over time. Many scientific papers are indicating that your smyptoms are most likely are result of composition of your gut bacteria. This composition is by no means a fixed thing, but change every hour and day based on your lifestyle and dietary choices. To certain degree, you have been set up for life based on the way you were born (c-section/natural). whether you were fed with breastmilk, where you grew up (country-side/ city), or whether you had a traumatizing childhood or received lots of antibiotics in the last years, but even with many such disturbances to your microbiome, it still has the ability to recover and return to a healthy and normal state with proper care. I would highly encourage you to buy a book or two on the gut microbiome and start reading online to learn what you can do to improve it. It is possible to restore a healthy level. I am quite optimistic that you can achieve a life where your symptoms are drastically decreased to a level that wont inhibit you from taking part in an active social life If you are interested I will write a bit more on my journey and some tips here later? Julius
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Living our lives to the fullest begins with what's already here. These seven mindfulness tips from Dee Marques will help you to stay engaged and transform routine activities into satisfying snapshots of life. Have you ever felt that sometimes we simply go through our lives instead of living them to the fullest? Today it's common to live surrounded by distractions that make staying engaged hard, forcing us instead to continually move on to the next thing and overlook present experiences. Incorporating mindfulness through these mindfulness tips will help you to stay engaged throughout your day and enjoy the present moment. Indeed, staying mindful and finding pleasure and fulfillment in everyday things can make a considerable contribution to your overall happiness. Before exploring our tips, let's examine exactly what mindfulness is. The dictionary describes mindfulness as: “The state or quality of being mindful or aware of something” and “a technique in which one focuses one's full attention only on the present, experiencing thoughts, feelings, and sensations but not judging them.” With that in mind, here are seven tips for mindfulness to help you turn routine tasks into enriching daily activities. Read on if you’re ready to increase your awareness, boost your connection with own emotions, and improve your chances of staying engaged throughout the day. Mindfulness tips: 7 tips for staying engaged 1. Start-of-the-day ritual Cultivating enriching daily activities as soon as you start your day is crucial to your levels of engagement and well-being. Instead of waking up and getting on with your day on auto-pilot, why not create a ritual that increases your chances of staying engaged? After waking up, don't reach for your phone and scroll through social media. Instead, do some gentle stretching and notice your body getting ready for a new day. Acknowledge your gratefulness for a good night's rest that allows you to tackle whatever lies ahead. As you prepare your tea or coffee, take a minute to check in with yourself. Pay attention to physical sensations: is your body tense or relaxed? How are your energy levels? Are you hungry or thirsty? Mornings are also the perfect time to incorporate other mindfulness tips such as mindful eating or showering. Bend to mend: morning stretching is a great mindfulness tip 2. Mindful showering Talking of which! Showering is a peaceful way of starting or ending the day, as it allows you to gain an appreciation for your body and to be grateful for having the opportunity to look after yourself. As you stand under the water, do a “body scan” from head to toe and take note of any bodily sensations and your feelings. The warm water, the aroma of your favourite shower gel, and a gentle massage are treats to the senses that would be a pity to overlook. RELATED: Do Mindfulness Apps Work? Taking note of these micro-moments can help you stay anchored in the present and counter the go-go-go mindset. In the shower, it's easier to realise when your mind wanders into the past or future. Use this mindfulness tip to realize when this happens while taking a shower and gently bring the mind back to the present moment. Shower power: stay engaged through mindful showering 3. Gratitude walks and walking meditation Having a busy life doesn't mean you can't enjoy the benefits of meditation. Simply walking and noticing all those things you have reasons to be grateful for is a way of staying engaged with the most meaningful aspects of your life. For example, you can notice your legs and feet taking you forward, a ray of sunshine helping support life all around you, or the different colours of objects or plants bringing variety and making life more interesting. “Mornings are the perfect time to incorporate mindfulness tips such as mindful eating or showering.” To practice walking meditation, find a space where you can walk undisturbed and start walking while focusing on each movement. Lifting a foot, putting it in front of the other, placing your feet on the ground, noticing how your body weight shifts as you walk, listening to your breathing, etc. This can help slow down your mind and sharpen your self-awareness. RELATED: How Connecting With Nature Benefits Our Well-Being As if that wasn't enough, walking itself is a beneficial physical activity that can help maintain a healthy weight and decrease stress. Moreover, some scientific studies have found that walking can strengthen the immune system and reduce the risk of developing breast cancer. And as you probably know, a healthy body feeds a healthy mind, and vice versa. 4. Mindful eating We all have to eat, but our busy schedules often make us rush through our meals leading to all sorts of ailments, from poor digestion to weight gain. To avoid this, practice mindful eating by engaging all your senses in a conscious exercise of appreciation. Try this mindfulness tip on eating a raisin: Take a raisin and hold it in your hands, imagining you’ve never seen one before. Use all your five senses to examine it. Look at its every detail: colors, structure, shiny or dull – can you see through it? Touch it with closed eyes. Try to hear if it makes a sound if you squeeze it. Smell it. See if it smells differently depending on which nostril you use. Chew it slowly, noticing its texture and flavour. Take note of the feelings and thoughts it generates. This technique is a mindfulness-based stress reduction MBSR exercise aimed at improving your ability to focus on present experiences, increase attention levels, and boost enjoyment. Eat and engage: this mindfulness tip focuses on food 5. Mindful driving The daily commute can be a source of frustration and anger, but using this mindfulness tip can turn this routine into one of those enriching daily activities that increase your awareness. Before you start the engine, take a few moments to breathe deeply and state your intention to drive mindfully. Ensure your car is a distraction-free environment – like a cocoon that protects you from the noise outside – so put your phone on silent and don’t switch the radio on. “Staying mindful and finding pleasure and fulfilment in everyday things can make a considerable contribution to your overall happiness.” While driving, there will be situations that cause anger or anxiety, but all you need to do is acknowledge your feelings: remember that you have a choice not to let those negative emotions take over. Stay engaged and drive paying attention to your surroundings. In fact, try to see the streets as if it was the first time you were driving along them, and take every interruption (traffic lights, traffic jams, etc.) as a chance to check in with your sensory perceptions. 6. Mindful appreciation Staying engaged in the present and savouring everything life has to offer is hard when our appreciation is weak. To fix this, find four or five things (or people) that make your life easier or better. These could be small details like having drinking water flow as you open the tap or having a blanket to keep you warm and cosy when it gets cold. Make a mental note of those things, or even better, write them down while you ask yourself: What benefits does this bring to my life? What is special or unique about this thing/person? How would life be without them? How did they come to be? Using this mindfulness tip to stop and think will improve your appreciation for simple (and not-so-simple) everyday things and give you more reasons to feel blessed. Watch your wash: be mindful, even when doing the dishes! © Colourbox.com 7. Staying engaged with technology Technology can be a constant source of distraction and interfere with mindful practices, so it’s important to set boundaries and know when and how to use it. Mindfulness, different meditation styles and happiness apps and podcasts with uplifting content show that technology and gadgets can be beneficial, but making mindful use of technology is also a matter of changing your habits. For example, instead of reaching for your smartphone to take a picture of your food as soon as a plate is put in front of you, take some time to look at the food. Observe how it is presented, think about how it satisfies you, and about how much work has been put into making it reach your table. Likewise, instead of rushing to check your inbox every time a mail notification pops up on your screen, take a deep breath, pause, check in with yourself, and decide if it's worth responding now or later. RELATED: Mindful people are happier due to clearer authenticity Like all other positive emotions, everyday engagement has to be cultivated. Trying to incorporate these seven tips on mindfulness into daily tasks will bring you a collection of memorable thoughts and moments that enrich your life and make it more pleasurable. And, ultimately, these enriching daily activities will allow you to live your life to the full and not just go through it. ● Main image: shutterstock/lolostock happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Motivation | Keys to Happiness | Lemonading Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
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How to Stop Self-Sabotage: 5 Techniques That Work
Calvin77 posted an article in SCIENCE & PSYCHOLOGY
Self-sabotaging behaviour can stop you moving forward in life. Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains why we do it and offers five ways you can learn how to stop self-sabotage. You genuinely desire something. You’ve imagined yourself owning a business on your own, marrying that perfect someone, being healthy and productive. You’ve imagined this over and over again. Yet, when you look back at how far you had got with realising those goals, you have to face the truth – you (delicately) blew it at every step of the way. Rare is a person that doesn’t know this feeling all too well. Self-sabotage – behaving in a way that undermines our achievements and daily living – is a phenomenon most of us will face at some point of our lives. Many, however, struggle with it on a daily basis. Self-sabotage can crawl into our friendships, relationships, academic success, professional advancements, our self-development... to name just a few areas. And although it’s a common nemesis, if you wish to have control over your life, you need to understand your foe and learn how to stop self-sabotaging. Why do we self-sabotage? At first, self-sabotage might seem like the greatest paradox. One wants something so much and works towards it, only then to work against the goal. It’s most apparent in cases when the target is very much achievable, and all it would require is a little extra effort – or even simply not doing anything to ruin it. To the surprise of everyone around the self-saboteur, just when they were about the cross the finish line, they do something that couldn’t be described in any terms other than irrational. Self-sabotaging behaviour can be stopped shutterstock/MAD.vertise And this is precisely where the key to understanding self-sabotage is hidden. A self-saboteur is actually highly successful – in realising the secret (unconscious) goals of not succeeding at something. Why do we do this? Here are a few possible explanations and factors to address if you wish to understand how to limit self-sabotaging behaviour. Evolution and neurological pathways Interestingly, self-sabotage might be imbedded into our genes. Seeking pleasure and avoiding harm are, in a way, two sides of a coin. In simplest terms, they both trigger dopaminergic circuits that make us feel good. This sort of adaptive mechanism was necessary during the evolution of humankind. “Although it’s a common nemesis, if you wish to have control over your life, you need to understand your foe and learn how to stop self-sabotaging.” However, a modern human seeks more than mere survival. Our needs are nuanced, delicate and complex. This intricacy of our inner lives often triggers a imbalance between reward-seeking and avoidance of pain. In other words, when we self-sabotage, we seek the pleasure we get from avoiding harm. However, the irrationality lies in the inflation of the perceived harm, which usually isn’t nearly as threatening as we see it. Self-punishment How to stop self-sabotage has been a subject of psychological research for decades. One of the first paths the study of self-defeating behaviours took was seeking for reasons in our subconscious minds. Psychodynamic approaches argued that self-sabotage comes from a masochistic character that constantly works on ensuring self-punishment. This need may come from one’s ingrained beliefs about their unworthiness, or a conviction that the only way to receive love and gratification is through being the victim. Avoiding threat to self-esteem If you wish to understand how to stop self-sabotaging, you should know that in most cases, especially in academic and professional achievements, self-sabotage is believed to be a manifestation of low self-esteem. Whether it's masked or conscious, low self-esteem causes us to be overly sensitive to the prospect of failing. Which is why we procrastinate, come up with excuses, stop trying, and employ all sorts of rationalisations of why we “had to” not succeed. Control Although it may sound illogical at first, when we sabotage our success, we actually gain control. It’s a bitter-sweet sort of control, as it’s controlled failure. Repeatedly failing romantic relationships are the perfect example of such a motive. Love is potentially painful, unpredictable, and difficult (or impossible) to have power over. Which is why some people embark on ruining the relationship themselves rather than risk being hurt – in this way, they maintain control over what's happening to them. Cut it out: learn how to recognize and stop self-sabotage Fear of success Although we rarely recognise it, many of us fear success. The reason? Success often means having to face new challenges and demands, losing the comfort of the well-known position. However, there’s also a more psychologically subtle reason – success often comes with a threat to one’s identity. People with a shaky identity fear success more than those who have achieved and foreclosed it already. Therefore, they avoid achieving a goal that comes with new roles, as it might add too much of a burden to their self-concept. How to stop self-sabotage: 5 techniques Self-sabotage can range from avoiding a test by faking an illness to a life-long fight with addictions. In any case, it's an unhealthy mode of existence. To liberate yourself, you need to undertake proactive measures to abandon this habit. Here are five ways you can learn to stop the pain of self-sabotaging behavior. 1. Becoming aware of self-sabotage As with other matters of the human psyche, recognising that you need a change is the first step towards it. Even when it’s entirely obvious to those around you, you might not be aware of what you’ve been doing. Examine your behaviour. Analyse your past actions. Acquire a habit of awareness. Have you been preventing yourself from realising your full potential? Developing and practising conscious focus on such behaviours is an essential tool towards defeating the underlying cause. 2. Developing a growth mindset In many instances, self-sabotage is caused by insecurity, and we do it to avoid jeopardising our self-esteem. One possible solution is to develop a growth or abundance mindset. This means believing that our inborn abilities are merely a starting point, not something that’s set in stone. With practice, we develop. Acquiring this sort of self-perception results in minimising fear of failure. Failure isn’t a signal of our lacking capacity anymore; it’s a part of the growth process. Therefore, we don’t need self-sabotage to protect us from it. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } “In many instances, self-sabotage is caused by insecurity, and we do it to avoid jeopardising our self-esteem. One solution is to develop a growth mindset 3. Being honest with yourself There are many possible reasons as to why you could be engaging in self-sabotage. The ones we listed above are merely options. To fight this nasty habit, you need to dig deep and understand why it is that you, personally, do it. Be painfully honest to yourself – no one’s listening and no one’s judging. You need to be true about your desires and goals. Do you really want that promotion, or to get married, and do you want it for the right reasons? What it is that you’re truly seeking in your goals? Know yourself. Unless you do so, you’ll be a puppet of your subconscious strivings and desires. 4. Face your fears As you now know, most self-sabotaging behaviour comes from some sort of fear. Be it fear of losing control, shaking one’s identity up, not being up to a challenge, or ready for responsibility or a change – fears drive us to self-destruction. Instead of being inert, take a moment each day to look your demon in the eye. With time, you’ll realise that the only thing you need to fear is spending your life being chased around by your fears, instead of running towards your freedom. 5. Practise self-compassion Self-saboteurs often feel that they need to linger in a state of constant hurt and failure. They feel that they deserve it for they are unworthy of anything else. If you think such belief is in the roots of your self-defeating behaviour, explore ways to introduce self-compassion into your life: psychotherapy, meditation, or simply rethinking your embedded convictions about who you are, can liberate you from constant self-destruction. Self sabotage: the takeaway Living life means getting scars and experiencing pain. However, it also means that with every second, we get a chance to change. We pick a path with every decision we make. Let the next one be that you’ll stop the self-sabotage, and you’ll live a brave life full of passion and purpose. ● Main image: shutterstock/jtanki Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. During her early career, she gained several certifications (life coach, assertive communication trainer, peer educator, fitness instructor). Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and wellbeing. -
Meditation hat viele wissenschaftlich nachgewiesene gesundheitliche Vorteile: Von Stressreduzierung bis hin zur Verringerung von Angstzuständen - Calvin Holbrook betrachtet die neun wichtigsten Vorteile einer Meditationspraxis. Mit der zunehmenden Beliebtheit von Meditation im Westen steigt auch das Interesse der Wissenschaft an ihr und damit die wissenschaftlich nachgewiesenen Vorteile von Meditation. In einer Welt, die sich zunehmend chaotisch anfühlt, wenden sich immer mehr Menschen der Meditation als Gegenmittel zu einem Multitasking orientierten, abgelenkten Lebensstil zu. Durch Meditation können wir unser geistiges und körperliches Wohlbefinden steigern. Der Ursprung der Meditation reicht lange zurück. Die frühesten schriftlichen Aufzeichnungen, die Veden des alten Indien, sind aus dem Jahr 1500 v. Chr. Verschiedene Meditationsstile haben unterschiedliche Techniken und Ziele und können daher nicht unbedingt miteinander vergleichen werden. Es lohnt sich also bei der Auswahl einer Meditationstechnik genauer hinzusehen. Eine davon ist die Achtsamkeitsmeditation, bei der man sich auf den gegenwärtigen Moment und die aufkommenden Gedanken, Emotionen und Empfindungen konzentriert aber sie nicht bewertet oder sich von ihnen mitreißen lässt. Ein weiterer wichtiger Stil ist die Mettameditation - Metta ist Sanskrit und bedeutet Herzensgüte oder liebende Güte. Dieser Stil leitet sich aus der buddhistischen Vipassana-Tradition ab und konzentriert sich auf universelle Liebe und Mitgefühl für andere. Viele Menschen praktizieren diese Formen heute. Die Wissenschaft unterstützt jetzt die gesundheitlichen Vorteile der Meditation - sowohl geistig als auch körperlich -, die Menschen seit Jahrtausenden instinktiv verstanden haben. Die aktuell am häufigsten untersuchte Meditationsform ist die Achtsamkeitsmeditation, da sie in Form des MBSR - Meditationsbasierte Stressreduktion - eine formales und standardisiertes acht Wochen Trainingsprogramm hat, das sich für wissenschaftliche Zwecke durch diese Standardisierung bestens eignet. Der auf Achtsamkeitsmeditation basierende kostenlose MBSR Online Kurs ist auf englisch in unsere happiness Akademie verfügbar. Was sind die Vorteile der Meditation für die mentale Gesundheit? Aufgrund dieser wissenschaftlich nahegelegten Vorteile wird Meditation regelmäßig als alternative Therapie für eine Vielzahl von Erkrankungen empfohlen, darunter: Stress Angststörungen Depressionen Schlafstörungen Das Glücksempfinden steigern Positives Denken fördern Beziehungen verbessern Steigerung der kognitiven Fähigkeiten Die Wissenschaft hat auch Hinweise darauf aufgezeigt, dass regelmäßige Meditationsübungen die Funktion des Gehirns verbessern und sogar dessen Strukturen verändern können. [2] Daher ist der Platz den Meditation zur Steigerung des Wohlbefindens und der Zufriedenheit sowohl des Einzelnen als auch der Gesellschaft insgesamt einnimmt, naheliegend. Absolute Gewissheit ist im wissenschaftlichen Kontext schwierig, da durch die Studien und Versuche eine Theorie bestätigt wird, bis es eine bessere Theorie gibt, die das Ergebnis differenzierter erklärt. Wer sich für den aktuellen Stand der Wissenschaft in diesem Bereich interessiert und die Probleme, Herausforderungen, Kritiken aktueller Studien und den faszinierenden offenen Fragen und erstaunlichen Hinweise, dem sei das Buch "Altered Traits" von Daniel Goleman und Richard J. Davidson. [1] Was sind die Vorteile der Meditation auf die körperliche Gesundheit Wissenschaftler*innen begannen in den 1950er Jahren damit, die Auswirkungen der Meditation auf Geist und Körper zu untersuchen. [3] Diese frühen wissenschaftlichen Ansätze weisen jedoch Mängel auf. In neueren Studien wurden zunehmend moderne Techniken wie EEG und fMRT eingesetzt. So kann das Gehirn vor, während und nach der Meditation gescannt werden, wodurch die Zusammenhänge zwischen Meditation und physiologischen und psychologischen körperlichen Veränderungen eingehend untersucht werden können. "Aufgrund wissenschaftlich nahegelegter Vorteile wird Meditation regelmäßig als alternative Therapie für eine Vielzahl von Erkrankungen empfohlen." Im Jahr 2013 veröffentlichten Forscher*innen der John Hopkins University einen wissenschaftlichen Aufsatz, indem sie 47 gut konzipierte Studien zum Thema Meditation identifizierten, die zuverlässige Ergebnisse gebracht hatten. Anhand dieser Studien kamen sie zu dem Schluss, dass Meditation bei einigen Formen von Depression und Angstzuständen genauso wirksam sein kann wie Medikamente. [4] Und tatsächlich unterstützt eine wachsende Zahl von Wissenschaftler*innen die Vorteile der Meditation. Schauen wir uns also neun der wichtigsten psychischen und physischen Vorteile einer regelmäßigen Meditationspraxis auf die Gesundheit genauer an. 1. Stressreduzierung Ärzt*innen beginnen zu verstehen, wie Stress eine Hauptursache für viele körperliche Beschwerden wie Herz-Kreislauf-Erkrankungen ist. [5] Einer der Hauptvorteile der Meditation besteht in der effizienteren Stressbewältigung und der daraus resultierenden Entspannung für Körper und Geist. Doch wie funktioniert Meditation? Untersuchungen an Patient*innen mit PTBS (posttraumatischer Belastungsstörung) zeigen es [6]: durch den Ausgleich des Nervensystems die Verbesserung der Gehirnkohärenz die Wiederherstellung des hormonellen Gleichgewichts Es gibt eine Vielzahl anderer, wissenschaftlich gestützter Forschungsergebnisse, die darauf hindeuten, dass die Stressreduktion ein entscheidender Vorteil der Meditation ist. Eine zweimonatige Studie mit Schwerpunkt auf Achtsamkeitsmeditation ergab, dass diese die durch Stress verursachten Entzündungsreaktionen reduziert [7]. Studien haben wissenschaftlich nahegelegt, dass Meditation Menschen hilft, besser mit Stresssituationen umzugehen [8] . Stress stoppen: Achtsamkeitsmeditation kann diese Gesundheitsgefährdung verhindern 2. Reduziert Angststörungen Daraus folgt, dass ein niedrigeres Stressniveau durch Meditation auch dazu beiträgt, Ängste zu verringern. Eine 2012 durchgeführte Studie mit fast 2.500 Teilnehmenden konnte zeigen, dass eine Vielzahl unterschiedlicher Meditationsstrategien dazu beitragen kann, das Angstniveau zu senken [9]. Eine weitere Studie aus dem Jahr 2014 mit 1.300 Erwachsenen zeigte, dass auch Transcendental Meditation® (TM) Angstzustände abbauen kann, und der Nutzen war bei den Teilnehmenden am größten, die mit dem höchsten Anspannungslevel begannen [10]. Eine weitere achtwöchige Studie zur Achtsamkeitsmeditation zeigte ebenfalls, dass die Teilnehmenden ihre Angstzustände reduzierten. Darüber hinaus hatte die Meditation weitere Nutzen. Die Vorteile der Meditation wirkten sich außerdem auf die Verringerung der Symptome von Angststörungen wie Phobien, sozialer Angst, Zwangsstörungen, paranoiden Gedanken und Panikattacken aus [11]. VERWANDTES THEMA: Panikattacken: Zwölf Tipps, die der Angst den Schrecken nehmen 3. Geringeres Risiko für Herzerkrankungen Hoher Blutdruck ist ein anerkannter Risikofaktor für koronare Herzerkrankungen. Eine in einer Zeitschrift der American Heart Association veröffentlichte Langzeitstudie ergab, dass Meditation das Risiko für Patient*innen mit Herz-Kreislauf-Erkrankungen wie Arteriosklerose, Myokardischämie und Arteriosklerose sowie das Risiko für Herzinfarkte senkte. Im Vergleich zu einer Kontrollgruppe in einer ähnlichen körperlichen Verfassung, die nicht meditierte, wurde das Risiko um 48 Prozent gesenkt. Die 2012 vom Medical College of Wisconsin in Milwaukee durchgeführte Studie kam zu dem Schluss, dass die zweimal tägliche Anwendung von Meditation Afroamerikaner*innen mit Herzerkrankungen dabei half, das Risiko für Tod, Herzinfarkt und Schlaganfall zu senken. Meditation half auch, den Blutdruck, Stress und Ärger bei einer Gruppe von Patient*innen zu senken, im Vergleich zu einer Gruppe von Patient*innen, die nicht meditierten und nur an Kursen zur Gesundheitserziehung teilnahmen [12]. 4. Verbesserung der kognitiven Fähigkeiten Jüngste Studien mit einer Gruppe von Teilnehmenden zwischen 55 und 75 Jahren haben gezeigt, dass Techniken der Achtsamkeitsmeditation die zielgerichtete visuelle Aufmerksamkeitsspanne verbessern [13]. Darüber hinaus ergab eine Überprüfung verschiedener Studien aus dem Jahr 2014, dass sogar unterschiedliche Meditationsstile die Aufmerksamkeit, das Gedächtnis und die geistige Schnelligkeit älterer Freiwilliger erhöhten [14]. Diese Studien legen nahe, dass Meditation die Fähigkeit haben könnte, altersbedingten kognitive Beeinträchtigung auszugleichen oder möglicherweise die kognitive Funktion bei älteren Erwachsenen zu verbessern. 5. Schmerzlinderung Die Wissenschaft konnte durch Forschung zeigen, dass diejenigen, die meditieren, eine größere Fähigkeit aufweisen, mit z.T. chronischen Schmerzen umzugehen, und sogar verringertes Schmerzempfinden erfahren können. In einer 2014 veröffentlichten, groß angelegten Studie wurden die Auswirkungen regelmäßiger Meditation bei 3.500 Teilnehmenden untersucht. Die Studie schloss, dass verringerte chronische oder intermittierende Schmerzen durch die Meditation erreicht worden waren. "Die Wissenschaft hat gezeigt, dass regelmäßige Meditation tatsächlich die graue Substanz des Gehirns ankurbeln kann. Es scheint, dass wir die Fähigkeit haben, unser eigenes Glücksempfinden zu steigern." Eine weitere Studie aus dem Jahr 2011, die im Journal of Neuroscience veröffentlicht wurde, ergab interessante Ergebnisse zum Schmerzempfinden. Einige Teilnehmer*innen hatten zuvor vier Tage Achtsamkeitsmeditationstraining erhalten, die Kontrollgruppe nicht. Anschließend verwendeten die Forscher MRT-Scans, um die Gehirnaktivität bei den Teilnehmenden zu beobachten, während sie einen schmerzhaften Reiz erfuhren. Meditierende Teilnehmende wiesen eine erhöhte Aktivität in den Gehirnzentren auf, die die Schmerzen kontrollieren. Gleichzeitig berichteten sie von einer 40% geringeren Schmerzintensität und 57% geringeren unangenehmen Schmerzerfahrung [15]. 6. Verbesserter Schlaf Während die Wissenschaft des Schlafes in gewisser Weise ein Rätsel bleibt, wissen wir, dass Schlaf für unsere Gesundheit und unser Wohlbefinden von wesentlicher Bedeutung ist [16]. Die Studie aus dem Jahr 2015 verglich zwei auf Achtsamkeit basierende Meditationsprogramme, indem sie die Teilnehmer zufällig einer von zwei Gruppen zuordnete - eine, die Meditation praktizierte, und eine, die Meditation nicht praktizierte. Eine Studie ergab, dass der Vorteil der Meditation für die Teilnehmenden war, dass sie früher einschliefen und länger schliefen als diejenigen, die dies nicht meditierten. [17]. Strandleben: Meditation bringt viele gesundheitlichen Vorteile mit sich 7. Mit dem Rauchen aufhören Meditation bringt auch weitere, indirekte gesundheitliche Vorteile mit sich. Beispielsweise kann Meditation hilfreich dabei sein, das Rauchen aufzugeben. Somit wird das Risiko von durch Rauchen bedingte Krankheiten und gesundheitliche Beschwerden verringert. Die Wirkung regelmäßiger Meditationen ist kumulativ. Wenn der Stress abnimmt, wird der Impuls zum Rauchen verringert. Eine Studie mit Menschen, die täglich meditierten, ergab, dass 50 Prozent nach zwei Jahren das Rauchen aufgegeben hatten und weitere 30 Prozent ihren Tabakkonsum signifikant gesenkt hatten [18]. 8. Steigert das Glücksempfinden Studien an der Universität Kyoto ergaben, dass der Precuneus-Bereich des Gehirns bei Menschen, die sich als glücklich und optimistisch einschätzten, größer war als bei Menschen mit einer negativeren Lebenseinstellung. Die Wissenschaft hat gezeigt, dass regelmäßige Meditation tatsächlich die graue Substanz des Gehirns ankurbeln kann. Es scheint, dass wir die Fähigkeit haben, unser eigenes Glück zu entwickeln. Dr. Wataru Sato sagt dazu, dass wir jetzt verstehen, dass Meditation die graue Substanz im Precuneus erhöht. Es wird also möglich sein, wissenschaftlich fundierte Programme zu entwerfen, um ein glücklicheres Gehirn zu entwickeln [19]. 9. Das Wohlbefinden und die Zufriedenheit von Mitarbeitern verbessern Kontemplative Praktiken wie Achtsamkeitsmeditation und Achtsamkeits- oder Dankbarkeitsyoga können für Unternehmen hilfreich sein, um das Glück und die Gesundheit ihrer Mitarbeitenden zu steigern: Eine glückliche, gesunde Belegschaft ist ein Schlüssel zum Erfolg eines Unternehmens. Nach einem Achtsamkeitskurs (MBSR) für 600 ihrer Mitarbeitenden stellte das Unternehmen Transport for London fest, dass 80 Prozent eine Verbesserung ihrer Beziehungen festgestellt hatten und sich entspannter fühlten. Zudem fühlten sich mehr als die Hälfte bei der Arbeit glücklicher und 64 Prozent erlebten bessere Schlafmuster. Ein weiterer Vorteil der Meditation für den das Unternehmen war, dass die Abwesenheitsquote aufgrund von Krankheit und Stress um enorme 71 Prozent sank. Weitere Vorteile von Meditation: eine glücklichere und gesündere Gesellschaft Indem Meditation uns ermutigt, uns auf die Gegenwart zu konzentrieren, beruhigt sie uns und befähigt uns, ein glücklicheres Leben zu führen und alle Schwierigkeiten des Lebens zu bewältigen. Die Wissenschaft zeigt, dass Meditation nicht nur eine wirksame Therapie für viele häufige Krankheiten ist, sondern auch dazu beiträgt, dass Menschen ihr Glücksempfinden verbessern. Außerdem steigert sie ihr Mitgefühl für andere und ihr eigenes körperliches und geistiges Wohlbefinden. Dies alles führt zur Entwicklung eines mitfühlenden, blühenden und belastbaren Menschen in unserer Gesellschaft. Meditation lernen ist schnell und einfach möglich. Es gibt eine Reihe von kostenlosen Meditations- und Glücksapps, aber auch der in der happiness Akademie auf englisch angebotene MBSR Kurs bringt einem verschiedene Meditationstechniken wie die Achtsamkeitsmeditation, Metta also die MEditation der liebenden Güte oder den Bodyscan näher. In unserem Forum hat unsere MBSR und Meditationslehrerin Tine verschiedene geführte Meditationen und Meditationen für Anfänger zusammengestellt. Sie steht dir bei Fragen mit Rat und Tat zur Seite und freut sich über neue Tipps und Beiträge im Forum. ● Quellen: [1] https://www.richardjdavidson.com/altered-traits [2] https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2015/02/09/7-ways-meditation-can-actually-change-the-brain/#1f51d33e1465 [3] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4253124/ [4] http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/news/media/releases/meditation_for_anxiety_and_depression [5] https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20120619-how-stress-could-cause-illness [6] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5747539/ [7] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0889159112004758 [8] https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/mindfulness-meditation-may-ease-anxiety-mental-stress-201401086967 [9] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/da.21964 [10] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24107199 [11] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/5946075_Relationships_between_mindfulness_practice_and_levels_of_mindfulness_medical_and_psychological_symptoms_and_well-being_in_a_mindfulness-based_stress_reduction_program [12] https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/11/121113161504.htm [13] http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s12671-015-0482-8 [14] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24395196 [15] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3090218/ [16] https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325353.php [17] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26390335 [18] http://www.hindawi.com/journals/crp/2011/537101/ref/ [19] http://www.kyoto-u.ac.jp/en Im englischen Original von Calvin Holbrook Calvin ist Journalist und der Editor des englischen happiness Magazins, Künstler und Liebhaber von alten Dingen. Er liebt es zu Schwimmen, macht Yoga und tanzt gerne zu House- und Techno-Musik. Hier erfährst du mehr über ihn.
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Negativity - don't let it affect your happiness
Deleted profile replied to Lizzie 's topic in Happiness & Life Advice Forum
It is a hard thing to remain positive and happy all the time. Negativity is everywhere in society. In my opinion it is based mainly on fear. Fear of the future, fear of the unknown and fear of mistakes made in the past. My own negativity is subsiding thanks to group meditation twice a week, and finding sites like this, and choosing my own path to happiness. I'm happier now than I was 6 months ago, and to not let negativity in, is a huge challenge that is taking lots of mental discipline, and the practice of letting go, and being kind and friendly. But also understanding why there is negativity, and how can you turn it around. -
Today I learned the term Emotional Hygiene. When and why has our physical health become more important than our mental health? I googled it and found a Ted Talk of a guy who talks about what emotional hygiene is and why we all need to practice emotional "first aid". When we get sick or injured, we do everything we can to heal and get better, so why don't we do the same when we're emotionally hurt? Failure, rejection, and loneliness are all real issues that create deep psychological wounds and makes us believe things that aren't necessarily true. Our minds are very hard to change once we become convinced of something, and when our self-esteem hurts we begin ruminating. Many studies show that when our self-esteem is low, we're a lot more vulnerable to the hurt of failure, rejection, stress and anxiety. Why then don't we treat ourselves with compassion in these moments of hurt? In this video, Guy Winch says to battle negative thinking by forcing yourself to concentrate on something else until the urge passes. Protect your self-esteem, change your responses to failure, and take action when you're lonely. But what if your loneliness or low self-esteem is related to some other issues such as Social Anxiety Disorder?
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Yesterday day 3- practiced mindfulness and pleasant event while in hot tub yesterday, shower, with my spiritual practice being in body. Really brought so much joy into my life yesterday and the day flew by! day 4 (week two) MBS practice- I love the feelings of creating so much space that it feels my body does not exist! Had a hard time “focusing” for the first while but eventually I noticed that I rigged and brought self back to body! Magical
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Resilienz: 5 Strategien für mehr Belastbarkeit
Veronika posted einen Artikel in Persönlichkeitsentwicklung
Jeder hat sein Päckchen zu tragen. Aber manchmal scheint dieses Päckchen so schwer, das wir einknicken wollen. Doch nicht aufgeben! Es gibt Möglichkeiten, die Widerstandsfähigkeit zu stärken und sich bald stärker zu fühlen. Hier sind die fünf Möglichkeiten, um schnell Resilienz aufzubauen. Dieser Artikel erschien im Original im englischen happiness Magazin. Oft versuchen Menschen mit Stärke mit schwierigen Situationen umzugehen. Oder sie verdrängen ihre Problem und tun sogar so, also würden sie gar nicht existieren. Das Problem bei diesem Ansatz ist, dass der Mensch nicht mit den Gefühlen umgeht, die die Situation hervorruft. Das Problem bei diesem Ansatz ist, dass er nicht mit den Gefühlen umgeht, die die Situation hervorruft. In der Tat kann das lange Verbergen negativer Gefühle zu Angstzuständen und / oder Depressionen führen. Resilienz bedeutet so viel wie Belastbarkeit und bezieht sich auf Ihre Fähigkeit, sich von Schwierigkeiten zu erholen und sich zu regenerieren. Anstatt sich selbst mitreiner Stärke und verschlossenen Augen anzutreiben und tapfer zu sein, ist es besser hinzusehen und die eigene Resilienz stärken: Eine erhöhte Widerstandsfähigkeit hilft dir dabei, die unvermeidlichen Herausforderungen des Lebens bewältigen zu können. Du kannst diese fünf gesünderen Arten des Umgangs mit Schwierigkeiten üben und das Glück entdecken, das dir deine höhere Belastbarkeit bringt. Resilienz aufbauen: 5 Techniken zum Ausprobieren Es gibt viele Momente in unserem Leben, in denen wir Resilienz zeigen müssen. Zum Beispiel, wenn wir Probleme oder Konflikte bei der Arbeit oder zu Hause haben. Oder es kann auf ein traumatischeres Ereignis zurückzuführen sein, wie den Tod eines Elternteils, eine schwere Krankheit oder den Verlust eines Eigenheims. VERWANDTES THEMA: In 6 Schritten zu wahrem Glück im Job Resilienz bedeutet nicht, dass du keine Schwierigkeiten oder Schwierigkeiten haben wirst. Indem du jedoch deine Belastbarkeit erhöhst und damit deine Resilienz stärkst, hast du eine bessere Chance, mit Stress umzugehen. Übe zunächst mit diese fünf Strategien, um in schwierigen Zeiten die Widerstandsfähigkeit zu erhöhen: 1. Erzähle eine andere Geschichte Hast du jemals etwas Schlechtes, das dir widerfahren ist, verdrängt? Vielleicht fragst du dich, wie du dich hättest anders verhalten können? Dieses Phänomen ist bekannt als ständiges Grübeln. Es ist nur eine schmerzhafte Erfahrung, hilft aber nicht dabei, nach vorne zu schauen. Stattdessen ist es wichtig, Wege finden, diese zerstörerischen Gedanken aufzulösen. Ein Weg, um dies zu tun, heißt Ausdrucksschreiben. Dazu wird alles aufgeschrieben, was dir in den Sinn kommt und dich stört. Auf diese Weise kannst du deine Gedanken untersuchen und sie konfrontieren. Es muss kein großartiger Text dabei herauskommen; Das Ziel ist nur, deine Gedanken und Gefühle aus dir herauszulassen. "Das ständige Grübeln ist nur eine schmerzhafte Erfahrung, die uns aber nicht dabei hilft, nach vorne zu schauen. Stattdessen musst du Wege finden, deine Gedanken aufzulösen." Eine Studie aus dem Jahr 1998 verglich Personen, die Ausdrucksschreiben anwandten mit jenen, die über oberflächliche Themen schrieben. Es stellte sich heraus, dass diejenigen, die vier Tage lang ausdrucksstark schrieben, sechs Wochen später gesünder und bis zu drei Monate später auch glücklicher waren. Anschließend kannst du eine andere Übung mit der Bezeichnung „Finding silver lining", zu deutsch "Finde den Hoffnungsschimmer“ ausprobieren. Obwohl es manchmal nicht so aussieht, als hätte eine schlechte Erfahrung Vorteile, kannst du ihr vielleicht doch welche abgewinnen. Beispielsweise hat sie dir gezeigt, wer deine wirklichen Freunde sind. Oder du hast gelernt, dass du stärker bist, als du dachtest. Diese Übungen helfen dir, dich weniger pessimistisch zu fühlen. Du kannst diesen Vorteil aufrechterhalten, indem du weiter übst und die Belastbarkeit erhöhst. Diese Resilienzbildungstechnik wird auch von der Wissenschaft unterstützt. Eine Studie aus dem Jahr 2014 zeigte, dass das tägliche "Finden des Hoffnungsschimmer" für drei Wochen den Teilnehmern half, sich später mehr mit dem Leben zu beschäftigen. Mit der Zeit verringerten sich auch ihre pessimistischen Stimmungen. Schriftliche Hilfe: Deine Gedanken zu Papier bringen, baut Resilienz auf 2. Konfrontiere deine Ängste Die Praxis, die Geschichte für dich umzuschreiben ist nützlich, wenn es um Probleme in der Vergangenheit geht. Es hilft aber nicht, wenn es um aktuelle Ängste geht. Wie können wir mit Dingen umgehen, die noch nicht geschehen sind? Du kannst damit beginnen, langsam eine Toleranz aufzubauen und dich jedes Mal ein wenig weiter zu trauen. Wenn du beispielsweise eines Tages Australien besuchen möchtest, aber sehr nervös vor Langstreckenflügen bist, kannst du mit kürzeren Flugreisen beginnen und diese nach und nach verlängern. Indem du dich längere Zeiten in der Luft befindest gewöhnst du dich daran und kannst dich bis zu einem Langstreckenflug vorarbeiten. Dies funktioniert durch die langsame Desensibilisierung, indem man sich allmählich einer Situation aussetzt die man fürchtet oder in der man sich unwohl fühlt. 3. Sei nett zu dir selbst Wir sind oft viel härter mit uns selbst als mit anderen Menschen und glauben, dass wir mit unseren Ängsten allein sind. Aber wenn du nett zu dir selbst bist, wird dies deinem Wohlbefinden sehr zuträglich sein. Übe also Mitgefühl für dich selbst und sei so freundlich zu dir selbst wie zu anderen. Diese Strategie zum Aufbau von Resilienz umfasst einen dreistufigen Prozess: Beginne damit, dass du dich deiner Gefühle bewusst bist, aber beurteilen sie nicht. Akzeptiere sie einfach. Erinnere dich daran, dass jeder irgendwann so fühlt. Gib dir zum Schluss die Erlaubnis, diese Gefühle zu haben, und akzeptiere dich so, wie du bist. Wenn dir das schwer fällt, frage dich, wie du einen Freund mit den gleichen Gefühlen behandeln würdest. Du kannst dir auch selber einen Brief schreiben. Stelle dabei sicher, dass dieser nur Worte des Mitgefühls und der Akzeptanz enthält. Selbstliebe und Selbstfürsorge: Nicht nur Trend-Wörter auf Instagram, sondern elementar für deine Resilienz 4. Meditation Meditation und Achtsamkeit sind großartige Werkzeuge, um Resilienz aufzubauen. Sie helfen uns, in die Gegenwart zurückzukehren, anstatt in der Vergangenheit zu leben oder uns Sorgen um die Zukunft zu machen. Diese Techniken helfen uns auch, mit negativen Gefühlen umzugehen. Du kannst Programme ausprobieren, wie die auf Achtsamkeit basierende Stressreduzierung (MBSR). Diese zeigt dir, wie du durch Meditation dein geistiges und körperliches Wohlbefinden verbessern kannst. Hier bei happiness.com gibt es einen kostenlosen Online-MBSR-Kurs, an dem du teilnehmen kannst. "Meditation und Achtsamkeit sind großartige Werkzeuge, um Resilienz aufzubauen. Sie helfen uns, in die Gegenwart zurückzukehren, anstatt in der Vergangenheit zu leben oder uns Sorgen um die Zukunft zu machen." Es gibt auch körperliche Techniken wie den Bodyscan, mit dem du feststellen kannst, wo du Stress verspürst und wie du diese Bereiche entspannen kannst. Mehrere Studien haben gezeigt, dass MBSR viele gesundheitliche und psychologische Vorteile hat, insbesondere für diejenigen, die mit chronischen Krankheiten oder psychischen Erkrankungen zu kämpfen haben. Oder du kannst eine achtsamere Beziehung zum Essen entwickeln, anstatt dich Junk Food zuzuwenden, wenn du gestresst bist. Eine weitere wichtige Technik ist der achtsame Atem: Sich auf die eigene Atmung zu konzentrieren führt bereits dazu, weniger negative Gedanken zu haben. Entspannt im Jetzt: Mit Meditation zu mehr Ruhe finden 5. Menschen vergeben Vergebung mag schwierig sein, aber an Groll festzuhalten ist nicht der Weg zum Glück. Wie kann sich dein Wohlbefinden positiv entwickeln, wenn du in der Vergangenheit lebst? Beginne damit, anzuerkennen was passiert ist. Danach kannst du dich entscheiden, deinen Ärger aufzugeben, damit du weitermachen kannst. Vergebung ist um deinetwillen, nicht um des anderen willen; du wirst davon profitieren, indem du andere Menschen besser verstehst oder Wege findest, wie du aus dieser Erfahrung lernen kannst. Denk daran, dass Jeder Mensch ist und jede Person, die dir Unrecht getan hat, ebenfalls Leid empfinden kann. Diese negativen Erfahrungen in einem anderen Licht zu betrachten, kann dir dabei helfen, deine Resilienz zu verbessern. Es kann dir beibringen, wie du in Zukunft mit schwierigen Situationen umgehen kannst. Denn schwierige Situationen werden an verschiedenen Punkten deines Lebens unvermeidlich sein. In einer Studie aus dem Jahr 2011 wurde Vergebung mit Alternativen verglichen - mit negativen Gefühlen zu grübeln oder sie zu unterdrücken. Es wurde festgestellt, dass die Teilnehmer bei der Kultivierung des Mitgefühls mehr Empathie, positive Emotionen und Kontrollgefühle verspürten: alles Anzeichen dafür, dass sie Resilienz entwickeln. Resilienz aufbauen: Zusammenfassung Wir alle stehen irgenwann im Leben vor Schwierigkeiten. Einige von uns meistern den Stress dann besser als andere. Wenn du jedoch mit Problemen zu kämpfen hast, kannst du Fähigkeiten erlernen, mit denen du deine Widerstandsfähigkeit stärken kannst und dich bald beöastbarer fühlst. Das Betrachten negativer Erfahrungen in einem anderen Licht kann dir dabei helfen, deine Widerstandsfähigkeit zu stärken und dur beizubringen, wie du mit schwierigen Situationen in der Zukunft umgehen können - etwas, das an verschiedenen Punkten deines Lebens unvermeidlich sein wird. ● Geschrieben von Gastautor Wir freuen uns, Artikel von Gastautoren zu veröffentlichen, die die Perspektive erweitern und neue Erkenntnisse bringen. Wenn du einen Artikel auf happiness.com veröffentlichen möchtest, kontaktiere uns! -
This popped on on my fb so I was happy of course to join. Ive studied many religions, philosophies, LOA books, motivational talks, Abraham, the classic books such as Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintainence to Louise L Hay, Deepak Chopra and many, many more. They have all been a joy, a gift and enriched my life. Ultimately, I feel happiness can be found in gratitude and joy in the present moment. Its great and important to have dreams, visions and goals but the right energy invested in the present is the key to happiness (and the most joyous route to take you anywhere). I really believe we are just part of a huge energy source, vibrating according to our conscious and subconscious thoughts. Mindfulness matters and life is a journey through the evolution of this consciousness. Happy to meet like minded people here and share positive vibes.
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